What My Inner Sweet Tooth Was Telling Me

by sunnypack

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Pinkie Pie, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 3590

Celestia wanted cake, but why couldn't she get any?

The longest day of Celestia's life, a day without cake... or is it?

All Princess Celestia wanted was to partake of some cake. Unfortunately, things don't seem to go along as planned and Celestia waits patiently for the next chance to have some cake. Will she ever be able to lay her hooves on the delectable treat, or is this quest doomed to fail?

My attempt at a short heartwarming story about the struggles of our dear ruler.

Thank you to my special general editor Word Worthy!

Published 2014-08-30 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-30 14:00:01 UTC

1 - Let Her Eat Cake!

Chapter 1: Let Her Eat Cake!

“Your Highness, it is time for your morning tea,” Kibitz announced, checking off an item on his ever-present list.

Princess Celestia nodded demurely. Inwardly, she was excited! Finally, the best part of the day had arrived, where she could indulge in a sweet treat.

“Would you mind terribly if I partook of the cake, outside?” Celestia asked her dear assistant and scheduler.

Kibitz efficiently consulted his timepiece and nodded to himself.

“Yes, princess, we can spare the time. We are a whole ten minutes and thirty-two seconds ahead of schedule, a personal record!” he replied with a gracious nod.

Celestia chuckled to herself. Kibitz is the best of the best, after all. But perhaps he should take a break every now and then?

Kibitz gaped at the snow-white alicorn, scandalised. Celestia realised she had been thinking aloud.

“Princess, I do take pride in my work, and I do take regular breaks! Why, just now I took a thirty second breather before rechecking the schedule!” he retorted, sounding hurt.

Celestia nodded gently, casting a reassuring smile at her hard-working aide.

“Kibitz, while I do admire your commitment to your job, you simply must take a break- “ she lifted a hoof to stem a reply “ -and I do mean a proper vacation,” she chastised sedately.

Kibitz looked like he had been passed a prison sentence.

“P-princess!” he spluttered, shying away from a wing she extended out towards him. Celestia retracted her wing, giving him a motherly look.

“I do so worry about you, Kibitz, just because needs are pressing in front of me, does not mean I neglect those next to me.”

Kibitz deflated with a look of understanding.

“Yes princess, perhaps it might be wise to set some time to myself, after all,” he commented wryly. He looked at his timepiece.

“Oh look at the time!” he exclaimed, whipping back his piece telekinetically to his vest pocket. “We must start walking if we are to enjoy the outdoor and the fresh airs of the garden.”

Princess Celestia shook her head. Kibitz will be Kibitz.

She followed her excitable scheduler, humming to herself as she did so. Maids, butlers, cleaners, movers and passing petitioners all bowed as she passed. Celestia nodded in acknowledgement, having given up asking them to stop long ago.

They made their way through the winding corridors and out into the refreshing Canterlot gardens.

Somehow, Kibitz must have alerted some of the staff ahead of time to set up an umbrella shading a table and one of two lounging chairs. Celestia took the one under the sun, desiring the feel of the sunlight on her coat. Celestia sat regally in her seating as a maid brought up the morning tea goods.

A cup was placed delicately on a saucer, the bone china clinking melodiously as they met. The maid carefully placed a strainer over the cup and poured a measure of the fine tea. The luscious aroma of expertly brewed tea filled the air, and Kibitz sighed appreciatively.

“Ah, Princess, I see the best of the best not only to myself, but also to this fine young mare here,” he remarked in approval, gesturing to the maid at the tea cart. The maid blushed at the praise, giving a small curtsey.

“It’s no problem indeed, Your Highness, sir. It is an honour to serve,” she gushed with a barely concealed squeal as Celestia gave her a warm smile.

Princess Celestia sipped at the tea. This was high-grade tea indeed. She must simply get a hold of the blend. As soon as she was about to ask however, a loud ‘craw’ interrupted.

Princess Celestia glanced up to see Philomena and one of the rainbow lorikeets from the garden land on the metallic edge of the umbrella.

“Hello my dear Philomena, how have you been?” Princess Celestia asked her long-time companion phoenix. Philomena gave a cheeky croak back and preened her wings.

Princess Celestia grinned, at least one being in the castle didn’t feel the need to bow and scrape to their princess.

She gently set down the cup of tea, the delicious brew finished.

She turned her attention to the one thing that had been on her mind since Kibitz had announced morning tea.

There, sat on a thin platter, was a moist, sweet, delectable, simply scrumptious looking confectionary. A slice of strawberry frosted cake. To Celestia it may as well be a slice of heaven. She knew, she was the heavens.

She telekinetically lifted up a fork, prepared to take a bite out of the delicious cake.

A sudden ‘craw’ and a ‘plop’ resounded through the garden as the rainbow lorikeet plopped a bit fat poop in the middle of Celestia’s cake slice. The lorikeet looked absurdly pleased. Well… up until Philomena whacked him on the back of the head with her wing as if to say, ‘if you’re going to prank someone, keep it classy’.

The lorikeet had the presence to look sheepish and he meekly bowed his head in apology.

Celestia was unfazed.

“That is quite alright, dear lorikeet, I will simply get a new slice from the kitchens,” she responded kindly as she got up from the chair.

Kibitz rushed to Celestia’s side, skittering to a stop in front of her.

“I’m afraid we are behind schedule, princess. We must head back now to reconvene Day Court,” he huffed, glancing nervously at his timepiece.

Celestia sighed in resignation.

Oh well, there was always afternoon tea, wasn’t there?

Little did she know that today, Celestia would not be getting cake.

Author's Note

Quotation marks retroactively fixed.

2 - The Longest Day in Celestia's Life

Chapter 2: The Longest Day in Celestia's Life

Celestia was tired from a long day spent addressing petitioners. All ponies had the right to petition the princesses for a favour. The pre-screeners did a good job from separating the smaller problems from those that required royal attention but the list was long and the expectations were as high as the list was long.

Celestia would never belittle a pony’s troubles for every problem, great or small, was important. She just wasn’t in tiptop shape today. She had missed a very special time in the morning. She tided herself and stretched her patience though, to make sure she could savour the cake. She had told herself that hunger was the best sauce for the delectable treat and her abstinence would only further serve to improve the experience.

Yes, she thought to herself. I will wait and there will be cake!

To the untrained eye, Celestia was just as gentle and caring as ever.

To Kibitz, her long-time advisor, Celestia seemed slightly distant.

To Luna, her sister, Celestia would seem a little strained.

Under all the armoured layers of tranquillity and regency, Princess Celestia was a mite impatient for the next serving of delicious, moist cake.

“It is time for your afternoon tea, Your Highness,” Kibitz announced as the timepiece precisely and proudly displayed 3:30 PM on its face.

Celestia could not help a small smile break through her usually calm demeanour.

She waited patiently for the maid to pour her the tea.

She enjoyed the aroma, perhaps a tad less than the first time, before casually taking a sip of the tea and setting it aside. Celestia waited patiently for the maid to place the platter and reveal the small sweet dessert.

Celestia blinked slowly.

It was not cake.

“Apple pie, Your Highness,” the maid proclaimed proudly.

Celestia’s eye twitched, just once.

“Ah yes, delightful,” Celestia replied, scooping up and slice of apple pie and taking a delicate bite. It was good. It was savoury and sweet. It was a symphony of flavours. It was everything…. but it was not cake.

“Simply amazing, you must give my regards to the cook,” she stated with just the right degree of grateful enthusiasm. Being a ruler for thousands of years did give one an amazing ability to control their emotions.

The maid beamed happily, oblivious to the small plight of her princess.

Celestia suddenly had an idea.

“It is so delightful I must tell the cooks myself!” she exclaimed, getting up from her throne in preparation to make the trip to the kitchen.

I will just ask the cooks, as an aside, to make me some cake, she thought, affirming the idea with a nod.

Kibitz once again blocked Celestia’s path, with a respectful bow.

“With all due respect, princess we must be on with the schedule, there is barely two minutes left!”

“Nonsense, the cooks must be commended,” Celestia argued, heading towards the kitchens. Kibitz did not budge from his position in front of the door.

Celestia let out a small huff of frustration, it was so slight an expression not even Kibitz caught it and he was standing in front of her.

Well, at least there will be dessert at dinner, she consoled herself, moving back to the throne and sitting down on it with a less-than dignified plop.

Little did Celestia know that she would still be not getting any cake that day.

3 - You Can't Just Not Have Cake

Chapter 3: You Can't Just Not Have Cake

Dinner came around to an excited diarch of Equestria. Celestia hummed to herself as the dishes were served. She barely touched the tea, she barely touched the greens, she barely touched the appetising bread and she barely noticed the tantalising aroma of the cook’s best meals. It was a buffet of delectable cuisine that only royalty were privy to.

Yet, Celestia could not work up her hunger but for one single fact.

She wanted cake.

It would be spurious to even suggest that Celestia didn’t appreciate the effort that was put into making the multitude of culinary masterpieces that adorned her large and encompassing table. It would be outrageous to hint that Celestia had not the appetite for the wide-ranging exotic foods that her cooks had laboured upon for hours at the castle kitchens.

Celestia’s appetite was ravenous, her appreciation undulled, they were simply there to be directed at the one thing she had on her mind the whole day.

For the love of cake!

She dreaded meeting her sister, who would usually sit down for dessert, Luna would always be excited and talkative of the very brief moments they could hold audience with each other on a regular basis. It was endearing and heart-warming and she enjoyed every moment of it but she was running dangerously low on blood sugar.

“Dear sister! It has been some time,” Luna declared, entering the room. Celestia felt a pang of annoyance that was quickly and thoroughly stifled.

“Ah Luna, it is good to see you again,” Celestia replied and found that indeed that was true, no matter the circumstances Celestia would never take her little sister for granted again.

Luna chuckled, banging her hooves on the table for emphasis.

“Servants! We are hungry for confectionary delights, bring forth the sweets!” Luna commanded, her voice not-quite the Royal Canterlot variety.

Celestia gazed sidelong at her rambunctious sister.

“Luna, you’re slipping again and it would do well to ask our servants politely,” Celestia remarked calmly, giving a nervous servant a warm smile to calm her down.

Luna snorted.

“Nonsense, they do not take offence, do you not?” Luna asked a passing servant, wrapping a hoof around him and pressing the poor stallion to her bosom.

“Dear Sir, do you believe the gall of my dear sister, to accuse us of unbecoming behaviour?” she queried the frightened servant. His legs splayed awkwardly behind him in the mad scrabbling attempt to find the firm ground.

The poor servant looked pleadingly at Celestia, in the small hope that she could help him out of this plight. To his relief, Celestia complied.

“Luna, put the poor stallion down, you are giving him a fright,” she commented serenely, taking a sip of tea. Luna put the servant down, watching him scramble to find an exit.

“He simply requires a stronger backbone,” Luna growled, turning back to the table. The maids quickly served the dessert.

Celestia almost choked on her tea, looking at the taunting pastry that lay on her table.

It was apple pie and it came with a small note written by the chef.

Apple pie, Your Highness, with compliments from the Head Chef. it said.

She turned to the side, her expression not betraying a hint of the roiling frustration that bubbled under the surface.

“Kibitz, please schedule a meeting with the cook, I simply must congratulate him on his kind efforts,” she announced, getting up from the table.

Kibitz nodded with surprising agreeability.

“Your Highness has some free time, right after this dessert slot,” he replied, scribbling some changes to the schedule. He gestured to an aide standing close by and whispered something into his ear. The aide sped off, possibly to alert somepony of the change in scheduling.

Luna eyed Kibitz warily. She hadn’t had good experiences with scheduling in general.

Celestia sighed, swallowing the pie and tea as fast as equinely possible.

“Come Kibitz, we must away to the castle kitchens,” she called out, heading towards the kitchens. Luna shot Celestia a puppy-dog glance, to which Celestia guiltily excused herself from.

“I’m sorry Luna, perhaps we can spend some time together later,” Celestia responded to those sad, sad eyes. Luna gave up and mumbled something under her breath.

“Okay, dear sister but you owe me!” she asserted firmly before trotting off in huff.

Celestia felt a pang of guilt that was consumed under a greater need.

I will apologise to her later, when I have gotten my hooves on some cake! she thought to herself.

They arrived at a fairly quick pace, after all, Celestia was cake driven.

“Ah Saucier Sanguine!” she greeted to the shocked group of chefs and assistants that made up the palace kitchens.

“It is good to see you, princess,” he chortled back the griffon inspecting his talons habitually before giving a short bow.

“To what do I owe the fine pleasure of this visit, Your Highness?” he inquired, his accent distinctively Prench.

“I believe congratulations are in order for your fine cooking skills, the apple pie was indeed a delightfully delicious delicacy,” Celestia praised, giving the chef one of her most winning smiles. The old griffon blushed and preened a little.

“Ah, you are certainly an expert flatterer, princess,” he replied, and then he said the words that Celestia had been hoping to hear from him.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Your Highness?” he asked, whipping a small towel onto his shoulder.

“Oh it’s just a small request,” Celestia drawled, hoping the griffon would bite.

The Prench chef shook his head.

“Nothing is small regarding the princess!” he laughed, shocking the whole kitchen, he realised what he said a moment too late. “Ah, I meant, nothing we make for the princess will be small… that is not to say that your portions have to be big or–”

He stopped himself, blushing a deep crimson.

Celestia gazed with widened eyes at the chef, unable to ask the question now.

If I ask for cake, it’ll make it worse! she thought to herself furiously.

Oh I don’t mind anymore I need some cake!

She addressed the nervous chef.

“I do not mind, dear master chef, perhaps if I were to lay my hooves on your delectable cake…” Celestia hinted, giving the griffon a warm smile.

The Prench cooking master gave Celestia a dutiful and grateful nod, turning around to address the servants.

“A strawberry cream filled cake with extra icing!” he yelled out, motioning for a couple of pegasi who were standing idly to get a move on.

“Yes, chef!” came the resounding response as everyone got to work furiously.

“Chef!” a young voice called from the back of the kitchen.

“What is it junior assistant chef, Treacle?” Saucier shouted over the preparation of the cake.

“It seems we’re out of flour and sugar!” he shot back.

“Sorry princess,” the griffon apologised, rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward claw. “You’ll have to wait until morning when we get restocked.”

Celestia fought to make sure none of the disappointment she was feeling was coming through.

Oh, well I could probably quickly teleport to Ponyville and grab a cake from the cake shop there, they open quite late, unlike the Canterlot shops… I’ll just drop in without a fuss and be on my way, she thought to herself, trotting up to her room to begin the teleportation spell.

Kibitz called out after her.

“Princess, princess… PRINCESS!”

“Oh, Kibitz, whatever is the matter?” She asked him knowing full well what he was going to say.

“Princess we still have to keep to the schedule, I’ve worked around this delay but we cannot move anything further,” he explained, rapidly scribbling something down in a levitating notepad.

Celestia inwardly groaned, her patience starting to wear thin.

“Off we go then,” she almost grumbled, correcting her dangerously slipping posture.

Sugarcube Corner will close by the time I am free! she thought to herself, gloomily.

Perhaps I could teleport to Griffonia in the meantime, between breaks, no wait their time zone is two hours ahead. The Minotaur Lands? Yes, they may have some flour and sugar I could bring back, maybe the staff could… she mused, as she turned around the corner to met a dead end.

“Oh dear…” she mumbled, as Kibitz collided with her backside and fell over.

“Oh Princess Celestia, you are off your game today! Perhaps you should take a break from the rest of the day,” he told her, brushing himself off magically.

Celestia looked at her assistant in barely concealed surprised.

Kibitz groaned, “Don’t look at me like that, you were the one to ask a vacation for myself, I am merely returning sage advice.”

Celestia smiled. Perhaps she would be getting cake after all.

4 - Cake Emergencies

Chapter 4: Cake Emergencies

“Sugarcube Corner is out of cakes?” Celestia spluttered, unable to comprehend what the (ironically named) Cakes were telling her.

“Yes, it appears that Pinkie had taken all the cakes, saying something about a ‘Cake Emergency’, would you believe?” Mrs. Cake replied, casting a nervous glance at her husband. He took the hint, dashing to the kitchen to return with some tea.

“Tea?” he offered, pouring a shaky cup with his mouth.

“No thank you,” Celestia replied, with a tinge of disappointment. She dragged herself out of the shop, feeling depressed. Outside a call distracted her from her roiling thoughts.

“Princess! I didn’t know you were here to visit!” Twilight exclaimed, trotting forward to nuzzle her mentor affectionately.

Princess Celestia smiled tenderly at her faithful student.

“Twilight, it has been a long day, I am simply visiting to lay my hooves on some delicious cake. Unfortunately, it seems a pony has beaten me to the punch,” she stated, trotting alongside Twilight.

“Princess, would you like to come with me to the library?” Twilight offered, gesturing to the old Tree-Library structure that dominated the west side of Ponyville.

Celestia nodded, suddenly tired. It would be nice to catch up with her student.

They arrived at the library, it was getting dark but there were no lights on in the tree building. Twilight opened the door, gesturing for the princess to step inside.

The room was gloomy and Celestia couldn’t see a thing.

“Twilight, would you mind turning on the ligh–”

“SURPRISE!” everypony yelled, startling Celestia.

“Twilight I- what is all this?” Celestia asked with her wings still flared in shock.

Before Twilight could answer, Pinkie bounded up.

“Princess! I threw a party for you because I thought you needed some fun, I brought some cake because I knew you would like it, but I didn’t know what type so I brought ALL the cakes from Sugarcube corner just in case. Gummy also told me you liked frosting so I made sure that all the cakes had extra frosting. We were going to throw you a party like normal but then I thought, you never had a surprise party and anypony that comes to Ponyville has to have a surprise party, so we got together and threw a surprise party! So are you surprised? Are ya? Are ya?” she babbled, whilst Celestia threw her a warm smile.

“This was one of the best parties I could have hoped for, thank you Pinkie,” she said, wrapping a warm wing around Pinkie.

“Aw darn,” Applejack mumbled, throwing Rainbow Dash a few bits. Rainbow scooped them up with a twinkle in her eye.

“Never doubt the Pinkie Sense!” she declared, squirreling away the money.

“What are you waiting for?!” yelled Pinkie, pointing a hoof at Vinyl.

“Let’s PARTAAAAAAAY!”

Well what do you know? Celestia got to eat cake that day.

And she swore that to this day, it was the sweetest cake she ever had.

Author's Note

My little attempt at a light fun fic for everyone to enjoy. It's small it's not adventurous but it's along the lines of something I'd picture seeing in a IDW comic series for some reason.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed my terrible writing.

Thanks for reading!

Next Chapter: Luna was found responsible for cake disappearances all over Equestria, what should Celestia do to stop this conniving mare? Find out next tim- wait, what do you mean there's no next time for this? Lies! Dang.