The Magnificent Discord and the Most Frustrating Storage Capsule

by Burgmond3

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1213

All Discord wanted to do is prank Celestia with a mysterious box he just poofed into reality. However, to simply put it into simplest terms, the box just works too well...

Discord. Lord of Chaos and Disharmony. The King of Anarchy, Fluttershy's Roommate, Expert Pranker, Dashingly Handsome Devil, he's got it all!
(… Okay not really, but don't tell him that. He might …. do something, I guess.)

The Box. A special one that causes it's closest victims to be antagonized with the most vicious, cruelest thoughts of all!!!!
Which is whether or not they should open said box, or ignore it.

Discord, being a entity of chaos, thought he could easily poof it into existence, and troll Celestia with the said box.
Well…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-30 13:33:15 UTC

It just went wrong.

Twas another average Tuesday noon. Very great weather, nature practically springing back to action! You could even visit the beach right around now, in fact! (The news mare said that on the radio.) But this story does not take place on a beach. Or Ponyville. This takes place in Canterlot, the majestic complexes and homes that shone in the bright sunlight, undisturbed by any clouds whatsoever,

Though this story, again, does not take place in the bustling town of Canterlot. This takes place in Canterlot Castle, home to the benevolent Royal Sisters, a court room, and a secret cookie vault in a bedrock bunker nearly three thousand feet beneath the castle.

And..... a very, very distraught draconequus, who goes by the name of Discord. You may know him as the Lord of Chaos and Disharmony, the part-time prankster in the newspaper ad, or even the King of Chocolate Rain.

He made a roar that scared the feathers off the birds outside, banging his head over and over on the wall.

"Why does this have to be so hard!?", he cried out, as he hit his forehead on the wall numerous times. "Just drop the box here on Tia's bed, and run out! In. And. Out!", he added loudly.

For those of you that don't know - and you should by now - Discord was very bored, and wanted to see Celestia tortured in the most humorous way possible. For him, of course. So he made a orange box for her. A special one that feeds two general thoughts: Ignore it, or open it. The rest is just pure over-reaction in it's victims. That same box lay on Celestia's soft bed, feeding those thoughts to it's ingenious creator.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! What do I do what do I dooooooooooo!", wailed Discord. He flopped on the bed, right next to the box. He had to admit the room looked wonderful..... Could use some of the "open the box" theme -

And there it goes again. That orange menace to the King of Anarchy's very existence.

"..... I want a chocolate shake right about now.... Oh it will be so nice just sipping that rich, sweet goodness.... WHILE I'LL WATCH AND LAUGH AS YOU GET TORN APART IN A MEAT MINCER!!!!!!" yelled the very-ticked-off-chimera, his hands gripped on the orange villain. The box, of course, said nothing. It's only a box, right? Right?

Discord sighed, and set down the box. He looked at it intently. The cover on the top was separate, meaning there is no locks. He already made it without one magic lock on it, so he can open it whenever he pleased. Buck it, he can poof that top out of existence! Though that would ruin everything, he thought. It's merely a small box, it can't hold a cake, or a Mega Muffin, or even - Well, it can hold a Sandvich, but Discord not like Sandvich, Discord pondered.

"Wait", Discord said aloud, and thus begain pacing around the room, "This prank is meant for Celestia.... Why would it be for me? Pranking myself, that's just stupid! Why am I even thinking such dumb thoughts? Am..... am I in some toddlers poorly written fanfiction?"

He looks around the pretty room... and suddenly have thoughts of doing dirty things with Tia - then quickly escalated to Celestia being what's in the box.

He blushed, the red in his cheeks clashing with the gray fur. Yes, he has had a crush on Celestia. The flowers proved it, what else can I say?!

Then it went to thinking..... What. Is. In. The. BOX?!

Discord grinds his teeth, tasting the cotton candy from yesterday. The walks up the decorated walls, and paces on the ceiling. He could open the box, and be done with all of this. But then again, it's not meant to be for him, it's meant to be for Celestia, so chances are, it's just gonna ...... Actually, he doesn't know WHAT will happen if he opens the box. He created the box, though the box itself chooses what is inside. Therefore defeating the purpose of whether or not who the box is for... specifically.

So..... He could either open it, ignore it, or just take the box and put it somewhere else? Yes, he really liked that option. He really, really liked that. There is just one teeny tiny, itsy bitsy problem: He won't know what's in the box. And he BAAAAAAAADLY wants to know what is in, the freaking box!

He pulls on his mane, stretching it out like a rubber band, and his left eye twitches erratically. Is this his punishment, he thought frantically. Am I punished for my sins!? Is Gabe Newell here to spank me for a bad rating on Half Life 2?! AM I going to that Spongebob Movie coming out soon?! Or maybe that new X - Men film?! Oh god why meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! WHY ME?!

Now, unknown to Discord, he's been thinking for not minutes, but hours. The sun is setting, and Celestia is walking back to her chambers right around now.

Actually, I take it back. This is when she opens the door. And finds a box on the bed, while Discord is pacing on her ceiling.

"Discord, can you explain yourself this time? I don't recall you leaving a gift.", she said with the observance of a keen school teacher.

Discord turn his head, 180 degrees to be precise. "Oh, Celestia! Um.... Hello! I didn't hear you come in!"

Celestia coolly said as she walked in, "Of course not. You are usually to self-centered to notice." She took off her expertly crafted jewelry, and placed them on the dresser where they belonged. She noticed the box, and pondered what it could be.

"Um..... Yes.... I will just be ..... Um.... BYE! " He poofs away in pink smoke. Celestia wondered what was wrong with him. Then she looked the cubed  antagonist. She felt it's powerful mind magic, however she had seen this before. All she had to do, was don't think, then she can open the box. Of course, since she is a very powerful princess (also has that flank of hers), this trick works very effectively against enemies that excel in mind magic. Such as the box, the same one taunting her to open it.

And, she opens it.

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The Next Day

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Discord is having picnic with Fluttershy. Boy, she knew the Everfree very well, so she knew a spot that makes teh forest look beautiful. Also the tea and Sandviches are very tasty. Of course, just for Fluttershy,  he made a all-veggie sandwich for her, while he snacked on his Sandvich has he read the newspaper.

According to the paper, every toilet and faucet started overflowing with sewage for no apparent reason. By the the time the sun rose, all of Canterlot was "The smelliest, dirtiest, and unhealthiest places in Equestria". Many ponies lost their dignities that day. And meanwhile, our trickster laughs away, as he read the newspaper article, knowing full well he has gotten away with -

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!!!!!!"

His hears flicker.... Ol' Sun Butt apparently found him. "Uh oh", he said simply.

Uh oh indeed. And then he ran away, Celestia galloping after him like a mad mare.