Once upon the time, there were 36 human friends, and they all had one thing in common: They all wanted to abuse someone. So they all decided to gather in the town center to discuss this but before they could begin the discussion, they were stopped by evil aliens. The battle was inevitable!
The aliens had laser guns but they proved to be useless against the friendship of 36 humans. I mean, we all know how powerful the elements of harmony of harmony were when there was only six friends, imagine then how powerful they were when thirty-six friends were using them! The friends easily defeated the evil aliens but before they could begun to discuss, one of the humans said:
“We all know how this is related to My little pony: friendship is magic, right?” And they all agreed.
They now began to discuss they actual topic: who would they abuse? After several arguments it all came down to a vote between a handsome, strong, smart, epic, green, dirty, proud, loyal, generous, truthful, lying, awesome brony named Cloud Skywalker-Squall and a guy named Ted. The vote was won (or lost, depends on how you see it) with a grand slide by Cloud Skywalker-Squall, because he was the only one of them that went to school. So his friends abused him and he felt depressed.
But soon, he promised vengeance!
After being abused by his 35 friends, he started to kick their asses! It was an epic fight, with a lot of karate kicks and slow-motion punches. Someone in the background turned on “Everybody was Kung Fu fighting” in the background and everything was awesome!
When the 35 friends realized they were losing against the awesome brony named Cloud Skywalker-Squall, they retreat to Sweden, because one of them said it was an awesome country, and he was right! But before their invisible space-chopper appeared, Cloud Skywalker-Squall had killed ten of them and captured one. He didn’t know where the other 25 friends had escaped (it was an invisible space-chopper after all) so he begun to kick the prisoner repeatedly in the nuts, but he wouldn’t say anything!
“Why don’t you feel pain?” Cloud Skywalker-Squall asked as he gave him another kick to the nuts.
“Because I’m a girl!” He answered and took of her mask. The shock was too much to handle for Cloud Skywalker-Squall, so he bought ice-cream. After a short conversation, the girl suddenly said:
“Kiss me, my brave main character/hero/soon-to-be-alicorn” And he did. They had sex (is this considered clopfiction or porn?) but it felt terrible.
“Sorry, but I must go, my planet needs me!” Cloud Skywalker-Squall said and flew away to beautiful Sweden, because it is common knowledge that you get an immense urge to visit Sweden every time you have intercourse. So away from USA he flew, because we all know that all main character/hero/soon-to-be-alicorn’s comes from USA.
But as he approached the beautiful capital of Sweden, Stockholm, he had to fly over the most dangerous parts of Sweden: Gothenburg! They tried to sell fish to him (internal jokes are fun!) but he quickly flew over it and with a heavy sigh of relief. As the smell of fish slowly begun to vanish, he continued to the place everyone should try to visit: Stockholm.
Stockholm was just like Cantrelot: It was built on a mountain and had a huge castle in the middle of it. Not really, but Cloud Skywalker-Squall found it totally awesome!
“It’s him! Stop him!” His 24 remaining friends screamed and another epic battle appeared! The 24 friends was more prepared this time, they had guns! But what they didn’t know was that Cloud Skywalker-Squall could dodge bullets like Pinkie Pie (we all know that Pinkie Pie can dodge bullets, right?). It was another epic fight and someone in the background turned on the Swedish anthem in the background, and everything was really cool!
After Cloud Skywalker-Squall had killed 11 more of his friends, twelve of the remaining friends fled to Africa, were they got sunburn and died painfully. Now there was only one person left, and it was Ted!
This was the last fight! With their newly acquired lightsabers, they begun to fight on an epic bridge in Stockholm called Skanstullsbron, which you should totally check out! They fought long and hard, but finally, Ted managed to cut of Cloud Skywalker-Squall’s arm. Cloud Skywalker-Squall screamed in pain but Ted just laughed and said:
“Cloud, I am you father!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Cloud Skywalker-Squall screamed in denial. He knew he had been adopted but that Ted would be his father was too much for him to swallow.
“Lol, of course not! By the way, I will steal your Hius Suck now bye!” Ted said and jumped on his motorcycle and drove back to USA. The Hius Suck was a precious cardboard that had raised Cloud Skywalker-Squall ever since he hatch from his egg. The Hius Suck had opened hatched him when it tried to pass the “Stockholms magical school for gifted cardboards” and they were friends ever since! Cloud Skywalker-Squall could NOT let Ted steal Hius Suck from him, but he had no transport to fly back to USA. But the kind citizens of Sweden gave him a room, where he immediately begun to write a code that would breach the dimensions…
But he soon got tired of it and teleported all the way back to USA using one of Swedens many teleports and there he confronted Ted once and for all! It was a great battle, and Ted was winning, because cloud Skywalker-Squall only had one arm. Someone in the background turned on the “Guile Theme song” (because we all know that Guile theme song goes with everything) and everything was dramatic! Ted eventually died.
And by the way, Cloud Skywalker-Squall discovered a magical portal in Hius Suck and it takes him to Equestria where he turns into an Alicorn, meets the main six and dates Celesita, Luna, Cadence and Twilight.
NOT the end!
