Cycles Never Change

by TheGreatEater

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Princess Luna, Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 7936

[Inspired by Aurora Dimment for the first two Chapters, and TheMyth for the last two.] To Err is Equine. That is a truth for all ponies, but no more so than Celestia. What happens to Twilight when the mask of perfection is removed?

[Inspired by Aurora Dimment for the first two Chapters, and TheMyth for the last two.] To Err is Equine. That is a truth for all ponies, but no more so than Celestia. What happens to Twilight when the mask of perfection is removed? This fic explores the darkerside of Celestia's past. Her mistakes and failures and how it shapes her future, and the lives around her.

cover art: Vk.me website

Pre-reader: TheMyth

Inspirations: Aurora Dimmet for chapters 1 and 2. TheMyth for the idea doing this story, the last two chapters and making a She Said No done right. Which is a third inspiration for the story, and gets massive a shout out in chapter 4. Since the let down of it's second chapter is what got this whole fic rolling [no offense meant].

Aside: This fic was 40% Inspiration and 60% me pushing myself as an author. Seriously one of the most hardest pieces I had to write on an emotional level, and was in parts physically painful to write. I hope I did this fic justice, any thoughts, comments, or critiques of this piece are welcome.

Published 2014-08-31 22:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-08 20:50:06 UTC

Before the Fall

~Year 10 AD, 25th day of the 10th month:

I can’t believe that it took ten years before things started to get back on track after Discord. At first my sister and I were trying to help the ponies of Equestria get some semblance of normalcy after so many decades of madness and strife. But they latch onto us, leaning on us for guidance and support. I guess it should be okay, after a while Little Lulu and I can go back on our adventures and enjoy our youth. After all older ponies say that youth is fleeting. Could you imagine Diary if Lulu and I were forced to do this forever? I could … wait Diary, I hear Lulu knocking. I’ll write more later.

-T’s ♥

“Come in!” Filly Celestia sang.

The wooden doors squeaked on their rusty hinges, but borrowing room and board from random ponies meant they couldn’t be too picky. On where their hospitality came from, even though anything was better than sleeping on the hard ground as the days gave way to winter. In through the door prolicked Luna, who was the picture of adorableness.

Luna nestled up to her sister and hummed contentedly, “Hi Tia. I missed you.”

“Why’d you miss me, we saw each other this morning,” Celestia said wrapping a wing around her sister.

“That’s just it, we used to spend all our time together. Now when we aren’t fixing Equestria, we’re sleeping, or trying to find some free time. But we rarely have us time together, and well … I miss it,” Luna said.

“I do to Lulu, you’re my shining star and I love you more than words can say. But we have a duty to doing the right thing. It just stinks that it’s taking longer than I would’ve thought for us to fix it. But I promise I’ll do my best to make more time for us,” Celestia said nuzzling Luna gently. Hoping to convey the affections she felt towards her beloved sister.

~Year 20 AD, 25th day of the 10th month:

It’s been ten years since I wrote in this special Diary. To think that I’d have several for different occasions. That I’d come to this one during times of trouble, or when stuff I don’t like happens seems almost sad. I admit you’re a good listener, especially during the Discordian Era, but that you hold all the things I’d rather forget. But listen to remind me that everything isn’t as bad as it could be … it helps.

When Lulu interrupted us last time, I made her a promise that I’d find a way to spend more time with her. Unfortunately for both of us, that hasn’t come to pass. I’m almost looking like a young mare. It’s sad that Mother and Father left us before they could tell us just how different we are and how different they age. They said they’d come back for us, but as you know. Tirek made sure that didn’t happen. I promised to not tell Lulu the truth of why they didn’t come back, and I hope that she never learns.

As for what brings me here. As aforementioned I haven’t been able to keep that promise to Lulu, and now I fear it may never happen. The pony tribes, seeing as we are the only ones with the power to stop Discord, and other major threats that they aren’t capable of handling made us rulers of the Equestria.

My sister and I argued with them over it, and in the end we ended up only partially succeeding. We won’t be called Queens, since we aren’t better than anypony else we’ll be princesses, so that the heads of the pony tribes will still have power. As long as they keep their Kings, Queens, Chancellors and Warlords, Lulu and I won’t be all powerful. I hope.

The next was to ensure certain freedoms allowing ponies to keep their cultural heritage and traditions as long as it didn’t infringe or hurt another ponies. This way they can still be who they are and we can just step in if need be. There were a few other rights, forming a Constitution that allowed certain freedoms for our little ponies. Hopefully it will also allow us some leeway into things.

But that’s where the good new ends. They’re building us a castle, yes it’s a new home for us, and I’m grateful they’d do that for us. But I fear that it could make us seem more than we are, and make others feel like we’re above them. Distancing us from the ponies we care for. I really don’t want that to happen Diary. It’d be wrong, for anypony to think we were better than them, just because we happen to be practically immortal. I’d hate it if ponies put me on such a pedestal that I could never reach them. At least I have Lulu. Well it’s time for me to go to bed.

Goodnight Diary,

-T’s ♥

Celestia closed the Diara and gave a hearty sigh. She was at a loss on how to juggle the promise Luna and her made to look after the ponies of Equestria after saving them from Discord, and to spend more time with her sister. Family should come first, but with everypony seeming to need them for every little thing, family kept coming second. And that second literally seemed to last seconds before the next problem crept up on them. But things couldn’t get worse could they?

Year 130 AD, 7th day of the 3rd month:

I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.

-Tia

Tears fell on the paper as Celestia sat next to her sister’s bed. It was the second worst moment of Celestia’s life. Tirek somehow had escaped his prison from Tartarus, she couldn’t imagine why there were no guards, guarding that gate. But that fiend almost killed Luna. They were warned with her prophetic dreams of an escape and flew to where they knew they would meet him.

Unfortunately they got the timing wrong and he was already powerful. Fed by the souls and magic of his cultists. Why anypony would deal with a monster that the history books said made dragons by corrupting ponies, traded souls for deals that always went bad, and ate the magic of those not foolish enough to give it freely. Made no sense to her. Worst of all, because she and Luna didn’t control dangerous knowledge like that Luna was almost killed.

Celestia knelt over her sister’s bandaged body. Their Alicorn regenerations slowly knitting together the less series of wounds, and whispered, “I’m so sorry Lulu. I’m a pretty crappy sister aren’t I? I promise you I’ll prevent others from learning the names of those who are sent to Tartarus so nopony does something so foolish again. And I will do my best to find a way to make more time for you. I’m so, so, sorry I wasn’t better.”

Celestia didn’t know how long she wept over her sister. But eventually sleep overtook her and she drifted off to sleep. I swear sister that I will protect you from now on. No more dangerous things for you if I can help it.

Year 950, day 23 of the 8th month,

I feel as if I’m going mad sometimes. You already know Diary of the wars with the Dragons, Griffins, and Minotaurs. So much deaths and tragedies that we just finally got treaties to end not too many decades ago, but still even when there isn’t threats from without, the threats from within are just as heartbreaking.

You’d think that with immortal rulers would be able to stomp out tribalism, crime, and violence amongst one another, yet it seems to flourish regardless of what we do. Then you have terrorist cells of those we formed treaties with trying to initiate war again. Then add in the mountain of problems that rain down upon my sister and I. And I feel my heart shatter with each pain my little ponies face. With no way to stop it from spreading.

At the very least I’ve been able to keep my sister safe. By lacking to inform her when danger approaches I can deal with it before she arrives, or at least that’s what I tell myself when it happens. But Luna shows up at the last instant and helps with the clean up. Yes there’s the unfortunate side effect that she’s getting deeper and deeper in my shadow, and everytime it happens I promise myself that I’ll make it up to her. But then a new crisis or problem arrises. Diary? Is it so wrong to want to keep my sister safe? To not want to lose her? I feels as if I’m being torn in two Diary. I want to save everypony, and I want Lulu happy. Like when we were fillies, and would go on adventures. And when we’d have fun, just being who we were, rather than what we have been shaped into being by the expectations of others.

But I know that’s selfish of me. My little ponies come first. They always do, and every day I can feel that rift between us grow and I never wanted this. But I just want to do the right thing Diary … you really are the best holder of my darkest secrets. Thank you.

-Celestia

Celestia closed the book and decided it was high time to visit her sister. It was almost a thousand years since the defeat of Discord, and ever since his defeat Celestia and Luna had been there for their little ponies. At first ponies flocked to both sisters, showering them with adoration and admiration equally. But as the generations passed, especially after the battle with Tirek and Celestia’s decision to protect Luna no matter what. Luna fell deeper and deeper into Celestia’s shadow, all the while Celestia found it harder and harder to find the time for her sister.

Sure they had their rituals. Eat their first and last meals of the day together. Once a year hold a “princess summit” to “discuss important world business”. But those days took forever to arrive, and with all the horrors that seemed to spring up when they tried longer than a few days as each year rolled by. It seemed to lose the special importance it once held, since the moment they left they couldn’t help but worry of what new problem would almost have their nations in ruins next time the got back.

Even worst, Luna’s worshipers seemed to be less and less in number with each passing century. While Celestia herself had to deal with not only trying to correct ponies who praised her for Luna’s doing, something her followers thought of her being modest and as expected from the Element of Generosity and Kindness, doing something nice for that dear other pony that happened to follow her around. But also from fanatics from both areas.

While Luna didn’t have as many worshipers, she did gain ponies who saw her as a banner. A figurehead for their dislike of the current government. Who saw Celestia’s acts of protecting her sister from the evils of the world, and Luna’s increasingly hermetic lifestyle, as signs of tyranny of a mighty oppressor. With all the wrongs in the world being from Celestia’s own hooves.

But that paled in comparison to the Order of Celestial Light. They took things in the complete opposite direction, trying to in many ways separate the world into black and white. With Celestia as a being of utmost perfection, an infallible source of infinite goodness. While her sister the source of all the wrongs, tragedies, and bad twists of fate that ever happened. Their demonizing of her struck old fears in her I’m afraid, and it’s not like I can just vaporize them for being annoying. Especially since their means of banishing Luna are prayer based rituals at the least, at their worst they throw “magic eggs of light” at her window. While Luna’s own group of fanatics range from bureaucratic nuisances to terrorist organizations.

Celestia broke out of her internal contemplations and her judgement of who had it worst with worshipers and fanatic groups. When she neared her sister’s ornate black oak, double doors she took a deep breath before knocking. Hearing no reply, she decided to just let herself in.

Celestia saw her sister looking at the star with a distant look in her eyes, trotting up beside her she draped a wing over Luna’s back. At the touch, she felt Luna’s body jerk before she looked at Celestia, “Sister why didn’t you knock first?”

“I did Luna, but you didn’t answer.”

“So you thought that you’d just pop in? What if I was indisposed or indecent?” Luna asked defensively. Although the sadness in her voice showed Celestia that the tone was mostly for show.

“Well that I would have had to apologize now wouldn’t I?” Celestia replied with a grin.

“Harumph! Nothing short of hot cocoa, and those little rose cakes you used to make would satiate me,” Luna said leaning into her sister.

Giving her a loving nuzzle Celestia whispered, “What’s the matter Luna? Over these last few centuries I barely catch a glimpse of you for a moments time. And now I see you so morose and withdrawn … you know you can tell me anything right? I’ll always do what I can to be here for you.”

Luna shrugged against her sister and gave a hesitant nod against her sister’s neck, “I’m scared,” Luna replied after a moments silence.

“Scared of what?” Celestia asked her voice thick with concern.

“Of being forgotten,” Luna admitted.

“Forgotten?”

“Yes!” Luna said her voice slowly rising, “When we were first forced to rule this nation. Both you and I were equally loved and admired, but over the centuries I get less while you get more. I hear the ponies say I’m nothing but your shadow! That I’m a demon that you every night have to force into the chambers to keep away from decent ponies! I hear them bless you for my work!” As she neared the end of getting the weight off her chest she was yelling. Not quite Royal Canterlot voice, but getting there.

“Luna, you know I constantly try to dissuade ponies from that nonsense. I keep telling them that it’s your work, and how wonderful of a pony you are,” Celestia replied slowly giving gentle, comforting massages on Luna’s back with her wings. Which did nothing to alleviate Luna’s ire.

“Still, it hurts so much Tia. I give my all to our little ponies, yet they act as if I don’t exist. And those who do, put me on a much worse pedestal than you. At least yours is built off of love and respect. Most of those who look up to me see me as an anti-you, or as if somehow we both don’t agree to every law that’s passed. And those who still worship me as their ancestors do are becoming less and less.

“I fear that in a few decades they will be gone. All the while your shadow grows deeper, and I’m afraid that soon nopony will even acknowledge that I exist. That I’ll be forgotten, and all that I’ve ever done will fade into the shadows along with me,” By the time she ended she was in tears. As all of her fears lay bare before Celestia.

“Luna no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get. I will always be there to protect you, and I will keep your memory alive. I promise,” Celestia said giving her sister a motherly kiss on the forehead.

“Tia?”

“Hmmmm?”

“I miss this, and I miss when you used to call me Lulu. I know that I put on a show of disliking it … but I miss those times. Do you think we can have those times again if things truly got better?” Luna asked hesitantly.

“I hope so Lulu, and I’ll try my best to make more times like this for us,” Celestia said. I love you Luna, I’m so sorry that I haven’t protected you as much as I’ve liked to. But I’ll try harder, your happiness is more important that my pain. Always has been, always will be.

Author's Note

Savage Skies Series Shoutout. This chapter sets the next into motion. You can see the events that lead up to NMM, the slow loss of freedom for both sisters, and the fears of Celestia as the centuries move on. This chapter was hard to make because knowing what next chapter has in store. And knowing just how Celestia can be in her future. Made this challenging. This chapter and the next are kind of like YuYu Hakusho's: Chapter Black tape in a way. In that if read alone, by itself, shows a much darker picture of events. Especially if not coupled with her other diaries that show less darker parts of her life. At least that's how I see it.

Failure

Year 1, Month 10 day 1 LoL:

I have failed. In every possible way, I’ve failed. My sister whom I’ve tried comforting for fifty years to no avail succumbed to something. Dark magic, a curse from Sombra, madness, some entity that possessed her I know not. But she became the demon the Order of Celestial Light damned her as, and I had no choice but to unleash the Elements of Harmony upon her.

It killed a part of me to do so, and I fear that I may never heal this hole in my heart. I admit that after I lost my guiding star, I’ve done regrettable things in my anger. I’ve destroyed all if not most of fanatics that claimed to worship me, and I turned Luna’s fanatics and the worst of her followers into stone. They now decorate my gardens along other problems my sister and I’ve made examples of when were much different ponies.

I’ve named those ones in a different journal. Anyways, I’ve destroyed countless works of knowledge pertaining to the dark arts, and for a while I was every bit as tyrannical as ponies claimed me to be. But that anger is gone now, and all that’s left is this dull ache. Every night I raise the moon I feel a part of me die, and I’m filled with the knowledge that failing Luna was my fault. My previous entries make that clear now.

I’m so sorry Luna, I miss you more than words could ever express. Even the ever creeping closeness of winter can’t match the ice that’s crept into my soul.

- Celestia

Year 250, Month 4 day 14 LoL

Holder of My Darkest Secrets. I must confess that it’s been ages since I wrote in you, well... Centuries to be honest. I haven’t written in any of my Diaries, and I have to tell you of my latest blunder. You see, after my anger burned away, and I fell into depression. Not knowing who or what to blame beside myself and my failures for losing Luna, I retreated and left ponies to their own devices.

They survived before Luna and I, and I was sure they could do so again. I even went so far as to hand power over to the ponies so they could rule themselves. Two hundred years later, I come out of my refuge to see that my actions ushered in the Dark Ages as ponies call it.

They took my last purging of knowledge to heart and eradicated all mention of Luna from texts, anything of the golden age of Equestria was lost as being evil and against “Equestrian Morals”, a fancy way of saying against the status quo that erupted in my leave. Tribalism ran rampant, education and learning was less important than preserving ways of thought I thought long since gone. Even the ruling class was split between the Unicorn Nobility, the descendants of Pegasi Warlords, and Earth Pony prefectures held together by a consulate of chancellors.

Even worst the old racisms that came to a head when there was no pony in charge to look out for all the races like I intended to. Brought to the Wendigos. I had to step in once again, and find those who were friends regardless of the status quo to power the spell that drove off the Wendigos the first time. Decades before Discords came to cause the anarchy that he brought.

So here I am. Once again the ruler of Equestria. Cleaning house, and bringing peace to the lands. Although I fear that what’s been lost will never be found again. Yet another failure on my part. I would promise to do better, but we all know that’s a doomed project waiting to crush me under its weight when I fail yet again.

- Me

Year 975, Month 3 day 26 CE:

I thought through all my problems that I had finally built the perfect image. The perfect me. Shortly after the Dark Ages ended I had a prophetic dream where Luna would come back to me after 1,000 years of exile. Where 6 ponies wielding the elements would come and free her, returning her to me.

So I set up a school to weed out the Element of Magic, knowing through that pony mare or stallion, the others would unite. And through them would not only free my sister, but would also complete the failed destiny spell of Starswirl the Bearded and ascend. Something I didn’t know was possible.

But Holder of my Darkest Secrets, I only come to you when I make fail, not when something I do write happens. Or the good times. Or even my deepest fears. You’re a living testament to my imperfections, my failures, and the parts of me that I can’t afford to forget. So I’ll stop beating around the bush. Where do I begin?

It was shortly after the dream that I thought I was ecstatic at the thought of another Alicorn. So I started tinkering with what at the time unicorns called “Life Code” what is now called DNA or Genetics. Regardless of what ponies think, while I was the Element of Magic, and I am an Alicorn. I didn’t think it was possible to make them, they had to be born. But before they disappeared leaving only my sister and I. They had many mortal children so I thought, “Why not bring those traits to the forefront?”

Let’s just leave it at I failed in my experiments, and I have laid heavy restrictions on genetic magics and transmogrifications from that point onwards. Even I don’t know the extent of the damage I might’ve done to future generations. Or even if those bloodlines I tampered with survived the few ponies who didn’t die at birth from my meddling. But I changed tactics. Thinking that it was a magical object that needed to fuel the spell.

So I found the perfect candidate. A pony whose heart was pure, filled with light, and had a good head on her shoulders. And most importantly a descendant of my kind. A young pegasi named Mi Amore Cadenza. I nudged a pony who found a rather dangerous love stealing artifact to interact with her. When Cadance overpowered the amulet it’s power filled her with enough power to bring out the Earth Pony and Unicorn magics latent within her.

I still have no idea if I was truly successful. She’s weak for an alicorn, both in strength and in magical potency. She’s aged so far like a normal pony of her age. Rather than the slower ones of an Alicorn, and I fear that she’ll age until she dies a mortals death. Although there is hope that since she is ascended that in her adulthood she’ll stop aging as is natural for Alicorns. But she can’t be the pony of prophecy. She won’t return my Luna back to me.

- Me

Year 984, month 2 day 28

This is the last entry I will make in you. Then it is into the Holosieve, a device I’ve made especially for you, and in a few decades time I might allow all of Equestria to learn. It’s basically a Pensieve of old merged with Memory Crystals. Quite ingenious if I may say so myself. Then I will hide you where you’ll never be found. I thought I could keep you, but I can’t do this anymore.

This latest failure was Sunset Shimmer. I thought if I gave her everything she could want, I could fix the mistakes I made with Luna and my other students from me protecting them from the world and hiding things from them. So I taught her everything I could think of, but her heart grew dark and the things she wanted to learn were things that would give her power over others. To become more stronger. I don’t know if it was to please me or to please herself.

But she would never be the Element of Magic, and I had to cut her loose. But as I did … she … she’s gone. And to where she went I can not follow if I’m to save Luna. Maybe someday after Luna I can find a way to save her as well? But I don’t know what to do. I’m too involved, I lose those I love. I’m too distant, Equestria dissolves into anarchy. And I’m afraid I don’t know a middle ground that won’t cost me everything. I have one last shot and I’m going to make it count. I’m going to fail him or her some how, some way. But I’ll be there for when he or she’s ready to forgive me and hopefully mend whatever mistake I made with that pony. But you … I thank you. But I can’t look at you anymore. I think that if I could die, the sight of you everytime I look at your covers would bleed me out. Goodbye my stalwart companion.

-Me

Twilight Sparkle’s head rose from the crystal tab her magic touched and cried. Cried for the thin veneer of infallibility she and others imposed on Celestia, cried for the wounds and memories that plagued Celestia, and wept harder from the memories of her life from Ponyville on up and how knowing Celestia was flying blind just how close she was to losing everypony she ever loved forever. Oh! So many times. Grabbing the pedestal that held the tab with her magic she teleported it, it’s contents, and herself to her bedroom in her and her friends’ crystal castle before passing out from emotional overload.

Author's Note

LoL = Loss of Luna

Stay tuned next week as I publish the thrilling conclusion of Cycles Never Change. Special Thanks to Aurora Dimmet for inspiring me to make this bit of history. Celestia at least in my head canon, isn't evil, or a tyrant. Sure she made mistakes ... lots of them. But she's always done everything for the future of her little ponies, and most importantly her sister. When she had to face her down, to choose between family, or her innocent subjects. She chose the latter, even though it killed a part of herself to do it.

The next part of the story deals with the fallout of Twilight finding out Celestia's less than perfect past. As well a truly fitting ending. As a bonus, I'll even write [if you want it] a 3k minimum fic. Any subject, content, tags, or what have you. To the one first one who figures out how it plays out.

Rejection

When Twilight found the Holosieve it was by accident. She had been looking at the older section of the Royal Archives when she saw the book Theories and Practical Applications to the Diversified Unified Particle String of the Lambda Polynomial Matrix of Hyper Nodes in a Stable Geosynchronous Fractalized Ritual A book from it’s title alone was so dense and boring sounding that Twilight felt as if the eyes in her head would fall out and she would turn to stone on the spot.

But where others would turn away from the physical revulsion and raw boredom the book generated. Twilight felt an orgasmic glee at conquering the depths of the lofty tome. Just like an adventurer slaying a mighty dragon for it’s treasure, or a mountaineer dominating a dangerous mountain. Wedging the morsels of knowledge from a book that would have a high probability of slaying her peers from boredom, and proving that she bested it. Was something that always gave her an intellectual high.

Imagine her disappointment when the book turned out to be a secret lever, with a quick magic scan showed to be laced with boredom enchantments, and wards to cause physical and emotional aversion to those who looked at the key. With a sigh, she walked down the stairs that formed near her when the lever was activated and went to see if what was hidden was worth the large sense of disappointment she felt.

At the bottom of the staircase that felt like it took hours to travel down, even with her flying from time to time. She reached a dark, slightly moldy stone room. In the center was a crystal tablet, and surrounding it various doodads, and knickknacks of undesernable origin. While they were odd looking, the crystal tablet drew her in almost as if calling out to her.

And as she touched it, she felt herself pulled down into thousands of years of memories that she never wanted to see, and emotions that felt like tar dripping upon her soul. After she saw everything the tablet offered, she did the only thing she could think of before blacking out from shock. And that was to teleport her and the tablet home and tell the others.

Twilight swam through the thick swirling darkness of her dreamscape, as her mind started to analyze and put together the various ways that her past battles as an element bearer were won by sheer luck and just how easily her and her friends could’ve all died, or worse. Been enslaved or corrupted and enslaved by the various pieces of nightmare fuel they just barely defeated.

She saw their battle with Nightmare Moon, all it would’ve taken was her sending an updraft catching the pegasi off guard for a split second, or them not being as luck as they were when facing an apex predator before Fluttershy solved the problem. Heck even after all of that, when the stones were shattered, and Twilight faced Nightmare Moon, holding her friends off for not even ten more seconds, or her friends not being incredibly lucky on finding her in time. And all would’ve been lost.

And what was she told about the whole incident for the eight years of solid study under Celestia’s roof? Nada. And what about a heads up, or prepare her for the fight? Nope that would’ve been too easy. Then there was the next horrible event.

Discord. She never told her friends this, while they all knew she never had friends, they never knew that she had a severe fear of losing them. Ever since day one she was waiting for them to see how boring, uncool, or just a total failure she felt that she was and would leave her. It was something Celestia never talked to her about, or Luna seeing her dreams said more than that she might want to share her fears with her friends, and her friends … she feared they’d leave her for that alone. A silly thing, as all fears are.

But Discord made it a reality. As for Discord, they were told nothing about him, not his powers, his personality, any intel that would’ve helped them. Buck! Even after hearing the riddle, Celestia just sat back and let Twilight and company deal with the God Level Reality Warper with a love of improbability generation, and spreading anarchy.

The psychological scars took months of healing for most of Equestria from Luna, but it didn’t help past Twilight’s neurotic tendencies when scared, depressed, or in the middle of an anxiety attack. Which led her thinking her friends dismissal of her fears as another form of abandonment. Just another “Twilight moment, nothing to see here.” Which led to the Smarty Pant’s incident.

Just as she was going to delve into the nightmare fuel that was Sombra, Luna appeared. Her eyes glowed white as she soaked up the root cause for the nightmare and saw all the memories that had forced their way into Twilight’s mind. As her eyes returned to normal she held Twilight, “Oh Twilight, nopony should witness the things that Celestia went through.”

“It’s not that, that’s the problem. Think about this. Tell me what you know of us, including the me before I ascended?”

“Well Applejack is a farmer and the Element of Honesty. Rainbow Dash is a pegasus that does lots of tricks, performed the Rainboom at Cadenza’s wedding, and is the Element of Loyalty. Pinkie Pie is a baker? Or something, and constantly breaks the laws of physics, nature, and causality. She’s the Element of Laughter. Fluttershy does something with animals, not quite sure about her, is the Element of Kindness, and has a powerful gaze attack.

“Rarity is a clothing designer, and the Element of Generosity. And you before becoming a Princess, were the Element of Magic, a most powerful unicorn, and my sister’s student.” Luna replied wanting to see the direction this talk was going to take.

“Right, so very little other than what everypony else knows. Answer me this, what combat training do we have? If you had to guess,” Twilight asked methodically.

“Well … some? I mean my sister wouldn’t just send six random ponies to their fate without some sort of preparation,” Luna replied. But at the look Twilight was giving her paled, “She had to have taught you something? I mean she had a thousand years to ready for my arrival. She would never do something as foolish as send you against Nightmare Moon without some training?”

“Nope. Sorry to disappoint Luna, but none of us have ever been given combat training. Sure the girls know some martial arts, but a guard could beat them … well other than Pinkie Pie, she might be a challenge. But still we were given less training to prepare for our battles than you can immagine.

“They are, and we all together were, ordinary ponies with slightly normal lives. Tossed into situations we weren’t told about, given no support, no resources, no intelligence, no nothing. They are easily killable, all of them.

“Especially with the likes of Tirek, Sombra, heck even Nightmare Moon, no offense Luna, could’ve easily killed us. All of us. And I can’t believe I didn’t see it till now. We were less than weapons. We are a renewable resource to power a weapon, and if they die. She’d just look for six other ponies to wield them.

“So let Celestia know that we bearers are done. We decide what to do with our lives now. No more manipulations, no more moving us like a chess piece in a game we can’t see. We are our own ponies,” Twilight stomped her forehooves angrily, “If a threat comes to Ponyville, I’ll protect my home and friends with every fiber of my being. But if Celestia wants the Elements to do something.

“She’s going to give me all the information she has, all the support and resources we could ask for, and will send somepony I trust to train the Element Bearers in combat and warfare on equal footing with the Royal Guards. Otherwise, the answer is no. We will still be the Elements, and if any major world destroying problem hits Ponyville eventually so we’ll face it then. But no more secrets, no more controlling our every move, no more whatever in the flying anus of Tartarus she was thinking. I’m waking up Luna. If you ever want to talk as friends, I’d love the company and I’m sure that there are at least two fillies who’d love to meet their favorite princess.” With that rant out of the way. Twilight woke up, and in a matter of moments had several letters magically sent to her friends requesting their presence.

Twilight was sitting in the throne room when Celestia came bursting in, followed shortly by Luna and her friends, “Hello Luna … Celestia. I’ll have Spike make more coffee for you two,” She greeted her peers in their little triumvirate before greeting her friends, “Hi girls. We have a lot to discuss, and with these two here they can counter or add whatever’s questions you all may have.”

Applejack looked at Twilight with a cock of her head and asked, “This isn’t another Smarty Pant’s level freakout is it?”

“No Applejack,” Twilight said calmly, “I just saw Celestia’s past, and it opened my eyes that she’s been sending us to what could’ve been quite easily been our deaths for the last five years. And after Luna was returned to her, would’ve easily moved on to another six ponies if we didn’t succeed.”

“Those are lies!” Celestia said in tone just short of a yell, but with enough weight it might as well have been spoken in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Really, tell me Celestia. What combat training do we have? And how does it compare to the Royal Equestrian Armed Forces?”

“Well that’s beside the point, I never planned on you girls dying,” Celestia said intimidatingly as she leaned forward aggressively. Even flaring her wings for emphasis.

“So you, who were easily defeated by Nightmare Moon. A deity who was the previous element of magic. With magical powers, flying speed, and strength far above a normal ponies. Expected six normal, easily killable ponies to survive Nightmare Moon unscathed? Not giving us a hint to just how powerful she was, or anything at all?” Twilight responded as she body movements mimicked Celestia’s

“You survived! What more can you ask for?”

“By pure bucking luck. I was going over our battles, and the only reason we survived was by pure luck. Buck I’m sure there are more timelines of our failures in the multiverse than our successes. What with how little we were prepared, and supported. What you did was pure nonsense and I’m not risking my friends lives like that again,” Twilight shouted.

“Well luckily it’s not your choice to make,” Celestia said sitting back finally with a smug grin on her face as if she was about to pull a hat trick.

Twilight looked at her friends and said, “That’s true. I told Luna that I was done, we were done, and I wanted to talk to you before hand. But I also said if they want our help, they need to send somepony over that I trust to train us in proper combat. Since a lot of times when we could’ve easily been defeated and just a little more knowledge would help.

“Then I’d want every bit of intelligence they have, I want every bit of resources and support we need. And when we are prepared for the fight. We can give it a facefull of friendship and rainbow blasts. Other than that. If a threat comes to Ponyville I’ll fight it with everything I have, but the Princesses can get off their flanks and deal with the rest. That’s my choice, my decision. And yes I can agree that after any non-Element threat happens, I’ll do my best to help pick up the pieces. But not at the risk of your lives.”

The other elements looked at her, saw that she had thought of this, and it was a logical rather than a fear based choice of hers. Well there was fear there, but it wasn’t a “I’ll stop time forever” type of fear. As much as a pony thinking of protecting their friends and family type.

Celestia looked at them uncomfortably as they stood by Twilight, Celestia shook her head at them, “You all are making a terrible mistake. The world needs the Elements, you can’t fight your destiny. Can’t you see that if you back out, there can only be more pain than if you just do what you were born to do?”

Luna looked at Celestia and hugged her before moving beside Twilight as well, “Sister. We used to believe in free will, we used to love our ponies, and stand up for them. You’ve lost your way, and you need to find it again.”

“I didn’t lose my way! I did what I had to do to save you Luna, can’t you see that? And everything I’ve done since then has been for you and Equestria,” Celestia replied frantically.

“No you’re not the Celestia I knew as a filly, you’re more like the nobility we detested. You aren’t a bad pony, but you’ve grown colder than the surface of the moon,” Luna replied, “I don’t agree to Twilight throwing everything away. But her reasoning is logical, and her terms for their help are something you should’ve done from the beginning.”

“I tried with Sunset Shimmer,” Celestia said softly, “I trained her in every subject, and gave her everything I could give. But it corrupted her. I couldn’t afford to make that same mistake with Twilight.”

Twilight almost wanted to hug Celestia but felt as if they weren’t going to get through to her that night, “Listen Celestia. Go, leave and think upon it. If you want our help, and it’s something only the Elements can deal with. We’ll deal with them. Otherwise, it’s been too long since you truly connected to your ponies. You’re so removed from what it means to be a pony that you’ve forgotten what it’s like and why I’m doing what I’m doing.”

Luna went over to her emotional sister and ushered her out, looking over her shoulder she said, “We have a lot to make up for. But we shall write soon.”

Author's Note

The 3k fic challenge is over. I hope everypony likes how this fic ends.

Cycle (Un)Broken?

One Year Later:

Twilight looked at the sprawling mass of scrolls that had slowly grown over the last year. They while she had thrown away a majority of what came with said scrolls, they were something she kept nonetheless. Even if she didn’t know the reasoning behind it.

They represented every request Celestia sent her way. The first one was a request to deal with a plague of parasprites descending upon Equestria. She told Pinkie Pie to prepare her one pony band for when they invaded Ponyville as well as to get the rest of the musicians in Ponyville ready. Then sent a quick reply consisting of, “No, get a marching band to play constantly once they make contact to lead them out of Equestria or prevent it in the first place.”

The next letter a few days later was warning of a Dragon heading towards Fillydelphia. After telling her no, and all the reasons she was saying it. Reminding Celestia that during the incident where she went back in time, but before the act itself she did an in depth analysis of problems Equestria could face. Magic Fire Suppressant systems needing to be upgraded was at the top of the list. Right above, reinforcing buildings from magical attacks. She never got a reply to that letter.

It took her an hour to tell them that Dragon’s aren’t affected by the Elements, at least not as far as their horde empowerment went. Then showed them pictures of ponies that were killed by dragon attacks. Making sure to show and explain the horror that some of the more slower, comparatively speaking, were. For each of the pony races.

They sat that night weeping into each other's forehooves as the screams from Fillydelphia echoed throughout Ponyville. But each of them knew the amount of work Twilight went into her analysis as any report she gave the Princesses, and knew from history books the Princesses once battled many dragons. And if they and the ERAF were having problems they would be more worse off than helpful.

Later that day they went to Fillydelphia, answered questions, helped survivors, and groaned at the fact that the Magical Fire Suppressant System was under fueled, not upgraded, and broken in several areas hampering the rescue missions efforts. When the populace learned that Celestia ignoring the warning of her protege were the reasons behind the deaths. Celestia’s infallibility started to drop. It dropped even further when they found out the reason that the dragon came in the first place was that Celestia never went there to place the wards and enchantments that are supposed to be attached to wherever a large amounts of bits, magical artifacts, or things that could attract the horde sense of a dragon, or other similar creatures.

That was the first day Twilight wrote to Celestia outside of dismissing her letters. It was sent to comfort an old teacher, a pony who was at one point in her life a trusted friend, and a pony that through her memories sympathized with. Even if just for a moment. Although the reply she got was from Luna knowing that she had never seen Celestia cry more other than when she was cleansed of the Nightmare.

After that the letters became less severe in what they asked for. But for some reason more elaborate and odd. That’s not counting the time Celestia sent pornographic pictures of herself with the message that she was lonely. Shaking her head from that last memory. She reminded herself that she had Friendship Court in a few minutes.

As she sat down with her friends, the first petitioner came in. It was none other than Celestia herself. She looked at the combined friends and let her head fall, as she said in a voice that was as loud as Fluttershy’s normal yelling voice, “Bearer’s, Twilight. I’m sorry for what I put you girls through. I’ve been around to see so much, and so many failures that I simply stopped trying most of the time. After all other than my sister, I never had any friends. Well none that didn’t die in the blink of an eye … there is no excuse though.

“You’re all young mares, just starting your lives. It wasn’t fair of me to send you to what looking back on it was almost certain slaughter. I’ve come to ask that you someday forgive me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

Twilight looked at her friends who nodded at her, “I can say this right now. If we’re willing to give Discord of all things a chance. We can give you a shot at friendship. It won’t be easy, and there’ll be hardships. But we’ll be willing to try if you are, after all a wise mare once told me ‘to err is equine’.”

“Deal.” Celestia said with a hopeful look in her eyes. Sure she had countless failures under her bridle, but with friends like these, she might just break the cycle. And even if she didn’t, hopefully she’d have ponies like the 6 mares before her at her side to get her on the right path.