Beating an Undead Pony

“Gah, I thought that hot tub would get rid of this itch?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at Spike, who was rubbing his back against his throne. “Spike. You’ve itched before. It will pass.” She noted. Spike stopped scratching and slumped down in his throne. The rest of the Mane Six were staring at him from their thrones. He felt his face flush with heat as he blushed.

“Sorry about that.”

“Right.” Rainbow Dash rose from her throne and began hovering a few feet over the ground. “Now what about the Neighsayers? What are we going to do about his friends?” She asked.

Fluttershy rubbed her hooves together. “Um, maybe we should just explain what happened?” Rainbow Dash facehoofed.

“Right. They will totally understand one of us blew up their leader’s head and hid the bodies. That will go over well.” Rainbow Dash replied. Spike raised a claw.

“There’s nothing stopping us from just making something up.” Spike suggested. Of course Spike’s mood fell at the sight of an uneasy looking Twilight and Applejack. “Come on, we can just say we found the bodies?”

“I don’t think we should.” Twilight readjusted herself in her throne before continuing. “Celestia wouldn’t lie to anypony. Not even neighsayers. I’m sure we can reason with them.” Twilight rationalized.

Rarity felt her stomach turn. “As repugnant as it might be, I agree with Spikey.” She admitted. Spike smiled, though he still felt it was bittersweet. “If they were willing to attack once they might not hesitate to do it again.”

“If that’s what they want then fine.” Rainbow Dash folded her forelegs. “Somehow I doubt they can beat us in a fight.”

Twilight rose from her throne, spreading her wings out wide. “I will not fight other ponies. That isn’t what got me these…” Twilight pointed to her wings, then to the ground. “Or this castle….” She then motioned her hoof at each of her friends. “Or any of you.”

“Well actually you did get this castle because you won a fight against Tirek…” Spike began to say, though he was quickly silenced by Twilight magically sealing his mouth shut.

“My point is we shouldn’t fight other ponies just because of what they might do. We were able to get the Dodge Junction ponies to join us without fighting and we will do the same with the Neighsayers.” Twilight took a breath. Her friends were all looking at her with wide eyes. I wasn’t too authorial was I? She asked herself.

As everypony else was speaking, Pinkie was rubbing her chin inquisitively. Fluttershy finally noticed. “You’ve been quiet, Pinkie.”

“Yes, darling. Applejack I understand, but surely you would have something to say about our situation by now.” Rarity added. Pinkie shrugged.

“I say the more ponies the merrier.” Pinkie replied. “This just means more ponies are still alive. Isn’t that what’s important?”

“Not if they want to take Ponyville away from us!” Rainbow Dash argued. “Cloud Kicker told me they don’t think the town has enough room for all of us and them.”

“They could be wrong.” Twilight stated. She tapped on the crystal in the center of the room. A map of the town appeared on the floor around the thrones. Twilight began motioning to each town block as she spoke. “We can probably fit all our survivors in just one town block. If we include the Dodge Junction ponies and Appleloosans, then there might just be enough space for the Neighsayers.”

“Now hold up. You promised we would go to Cloudsdale once we came back.” Rainbow Dash snapped, flying right into Twilight’s face. “I’d rather give the empty houses to good ponies.”

“Dash, we have enough room. We can’t just abandon ponies out there. Not with the zombies wandering around.” Twilight argued back. “We’ll go to Cloudsdale, but right now we have to deal with the Neighsayers.” Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes.

“We can’t? Or you can't?”

“Now hold up Rainbow.” Rarity got out of her throne and approached Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “What exactly are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m saying that Twilight is worried neighsayers will think less of their princess.”

Twilight couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I am not! I’ve told you before that I don’t care what other ponies think of me! As a princess or as a pony!” Twilight hadn’t noticed yet, but she was snorting in rage. She felt a hoof on her shoulder. It was Applejack.

“Take it easy, Twi. Rainbow isn’t one of them.” Applejack said calmly.

“You’re right.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I should save that f-for ponies who…” She froze in place. Spike finally managed to get his mouth open by prying his lower jaw down.

“Gah! Ponies who deserve it?” He asked, still rubbing his jaw. The room fell silent once again. A silence that was quickly ended by a knock on the door.

“Who could that be?” Pinkie asked.

“Probably Owlicious. I asked him to be on the look out and let us know if anything changes outside.” Twilight explained. She trotted over to the door and opened it with her magic. Surely enough Owlicious was hovering overhead, a note in his beak. “Thank you.” Twilight took the note and began reading it.

“Well?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Some ponies in jumpsuits were spotted outside of town. Dungeon jumpsuits.” Twilight said.

“Tsh. The Neighsayers truly should have abandoned such gawdy outfits a long time ago.” Rarity chimed in.

“So what do we do?” Fluttershy asked. Twilight gulped before taking a huge breath.

“We talk to them.” Twilight answered. She turned to the door, but found herself held back by a strong hoof. Applejack’s hoof.

“Don’t.” She muttered. Twilight scrunched her face in dismay.

“I-we have to.”

Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth were hovering in the air overlooking the grassy plains that surrounded Ponyville. While there was a pair of zombie ponies still wandering about, it was the large crowd of living ponies approaching that had Bossomforth worried. Cloud Kicker lowered her pair of binoculars, noticing her close friend’s concern.

“Hey relax. I sent the owl. I’m sure the princess will be here and we can get this all sorted out.” Cloud Kicker reassured. Blossomforth wasn’t convinced, not with the deep gash under Cloud Kicker’s eye.

“Well, pardon me for not be as sure.” Blossomforth replied. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity appeared behind the two pegasi; Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy having flown, and Rarity carried by Twilight’s magic.

“We got your message.” Twilight said. Blossomforth took a huge sigh of relief.

“Princess Twilight, we spotted the Neighsayers heading this way. There must be dozens of them.” Blossomforth muttered. Cloud Kicker turned her attention to Rainbow Dash. “Captain, what do you want us to do?”

“We got this. You head on back. There were some stray zombies heading to the town.” Rainbow Dash ordered. Cloud Kicker made a playful salute before she and Blossomforth flew back towards Ponyville.

“I hope this works.” Fluttershy said under her breath. Rarity nuzzled her friend.

“Of course it will.” She promised. Twilight, Fluttershy and Rarity started towards the crowd of Neighsayers. Rainbow Dash quickly flew over to the zombie ponies, stomping one’s head into the ground, the other’s head she severed from its body. One of the neighsayers, a unicorn mare, ran ahead of the group.

“Well look what we have here mares and gentlecolts. More survivors.” She called out. Fluttershy ducked behind Rarity as the rest of the neighsayers reached them.

“Pretty ones, aren’t they?” A grizzled earth pony stallion noted. The unicorn mare motioned to the other neighsayers.

“Not just pretty ones, my friends. This purple one is an alicorn.” She said. The neighsayers began to murmur among themselves. The unicorn mare gave a quick bow. “Forgive us, your majesty. Some of us have spent decades in a dungeon. If the biters have been good for anything, it was allowing us to get away at last.” She explained.

Twilight swallowed hard. “Well I’m sure we can all put that aside. We’ve been staying in Ponyville since the outbreak started.”

“Ponyville you say?” The Unicorn mare tugged at her collar. “Well, that is quite kind of you to offer. Our boss was looking for a new place to call our own. Somewhere that the biters can’t get at us.”

Rarity took a step forward. “Not to sound suspicious, but why, may I ask, are a group of neighsayers doing out of a dungeon?”

“Well.” The Unicorn mare replied. “We can’t exactly stay in a dungeon that is on fire now, can we?” Another mare, also a unicorn, appeared by her fellow neighsayer’s side. This one was much larger with a broken horn.

“Come on already. Ask them!” She demanded.

“Ask us what?” Fluttershy wimpered. The large unicorn mare grunted loudly before answering.

“Our boss went looking and he hasn’t come back. Have you seen him?”

Twilight closed her eyes. I can do this. I can do this. She thought to herself. However she found herself quickly startled by a hoof touching her.

“Sorry Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said. “I was just letting you know I got the zombies.”

“Wait a minute I recognize that voice anywhere!” A smooth voice called out. Neighsayers started to back out of the way as a pegasus stallion pushed his way through the crowd. Rainbow Dash’s eyes wided. She had not seen the stallion in years, but his light blue coat and multicolored mane, the same colors as herself, were as clear as could be.

“Rainbow Dash?”

“Rainbow Dad!”

Rainbow Dash sped past Twilight, and into the open hooves of her father. “I can’t believe it. Dashie, its so good to see you!”

“I’ll say.” Rainbow Dash replied. The larger unicorn mare raised an eyebrow.

“You know this mare, old man?”

“Of course I do! Hey! Everypony! You’re not going to believe this! My daughter is alive!” Rainbow Dad called out. Rainbow Dash pulled her father towards her friends.

“Of course, Rainbow Dad, these are my friends. Twilight Sparkle, that one’s Rarity, and I’m sure you know who this is.” Rainbow Dash pulled Fluttershy close.

“Ah, how could I forget? Dear, Fluttershy. My how you have grown in to a fine young mare.” He turned his attention to Rarity. “And… you, Rarity. I must say my daughter knows some refined company.” Rainbow Dad took Rarity’s hoof and gently kissed it. Rarity pulled back and blushed.

“Rainbow, you’re father is such a flatterer.” Rarity said, her face red with embarrassment.

“And Twilight. So good to see another princess around. I imagine even Celestia can't do all the work of ruling Equestria on her own. Good on her to find another princess.” Rainbow Dad took Twilight’s hoof and kissed it as well.

What do I say! What do I say! What do I say! “Um, I, er. Thank you Mr…”

“Oh, just call me Rainbow Dad. Everypony does.” Rainbow Dad looked back at the crowd of neighsayers. “Isn’t that right?” The neighsayers were quick to respond, all chanting the name “Rainbow Dad”

“Oh man, this is so cool! I bet you got a lot of dungeon stories to tell!” Rainbow Dash squeeked, holding her forehooves to her mouth. Her father nodded back.

“Indeed I do. I’d love to do some catching up. And of course get to know you’re beautiful friends.” Rainbow Dad’s eyes darted between the others.

“Well, we certainly have a place for you in Ponyville. Don’t we, Twilight?” Rarity noted.

“Wha? Oh of course.”

“Excellent! This is going to be great, I can tell. Come, everypony, it looks like we found a place to stay!” Rainbow Dad cried out. As the two groups began trotting back towards Ponyville, Rainbow Dash flew down to ground level to speak to Twilight.

“Well what do you know? Looks like we had nothing to worry about after all.” She exclaimed, her excitement having not dissipated in the slightest. Twilight however, feeling tension build up in her back.

“Yes, I suppose so.” She had to think about her next words carefully, since she had no intention of offending Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, why was your father in a dungeon?” She asked.

Rainbow Dash bit her lip. Hard enough to draw blood, which was certainly not something Twilight was expecting. “Well, I don’t know. He was just, taken away from me one day. I was never told what he did or if he even did anything.” Rainbow Dash’s tone quickly changed back to her estatic feeling. “But who cares? He’s back now! The most awesome dad in all of Equestria!”

Ugh! What an awful day!

Twilight collapsed backwards onto her bed, her horn scratching up against the crystal bedframe. She and her friends had just spent the past few hours getting all the survivors acclimated with Ponyville, and getting ponies to cooperate.

“Spike are you there? Spike?” Twilight looked up. She had expected Spike to be fast asleep in his bed. Then she remembered he had been invited to a card game with some of the neighsayers.

“Hm. Neighsayers. Don’t know if I should be saying that.”

“Oh there’s plenty of good ponies among us.”

Twilight sat up straight. Rainbow Dad was leaning against the doorframe. He had ditched his dungeon jumpsuit, revealing his body was sleak like Rainbow Dash, but his legs were much larger. “Rainbow Dad? I thought you would be spending time with Rainbow.”

“Hm. Oh I have. I got the chance to talk her ear off good. Probably will be doing a lot of that tomorrow as well.” Rainbow Dad trotted over to Twilight’s bedside.

“So, what are you doing here?” Twilight asked. Rainbow Dad raised an eyebrow.

“You’re majesty. I know what’s been going on with all these biters going around attacking every living thing in sight. I can only imagine hiding your anxiety from others must take it’s toll.”

“Oh that’s kind of you, but I’m ok. Really.”

“Hm. And to think, Dashie said that Applejack was a bad liar. I know how to read ponies. You have so much tension.” Rainbow Dad lept onto Twilight’s bed, and began gently rubbing her back.

“Oh. That actually feels pretty good.” Twilight muttered. Her wings slowly unfurled upward.

“I’ll say. Tell you what. How’s about I spend the night here? Help you relieve some of that stress?”

Twilight rolled over in surprise. “A-are you serious?” Rainbow Dad was no doubt older than Twilight’s own father, and yet, here he was, making a proposition to her.

“You’re a stressed out mare. A beautiful stressed out mare. I’m willing to offer such a…lets call it a service.”

Twilight felt her heart race faster than it probably should. Her breathing became heavier. “Well…I have had a more difficult week than usual.” She eyed up Rainbow Dad’s features again. I…he’s right.

Rainbow Dash stumbled down the hallways of the castle. A lampshade was stuck to her hoof but she didn’t care. “Pinkie certainly knows how to make ponies comfortable.” She said to herself. This is great. Rainbow Dad is back, and soon we’ll be getting Cloudsdale back too! It can’t get any better than this!

“Ah! Ah! Rainbow Dad! AAAAHHHH!”

Rainbow Dash’s wings sprung up in surprise. She heard loud thumping coming from Twilight’s room. She pressed her ear against the door.

“I aim to please… your highnEEEESSS!!”

“Yes! Yes!”

Rainbow Dash had to take a step back. Probably should have warned Twilight ahead of time. Dad’s quite the mare’s stallion.