Twilight let out an contemplative sigh as she aimlessly twiddled with a quill. Her eyes traced the contours of rolling green meadows and bountiful farmland as they transitioned into small clumps of villages, then into larger, more imposing edifices. Clouds lumbered over the far blue yonder, and the sun began to sink down into the horizon, painting the sky’s canvas dazzling pastel colors of yellow, orange and red.

Sweet Celestia, this was almost as boring as Pinkie’s family.

Mentally calculating the amount of time left to get to Canterlot, Twilight groaned, she’d been here for three hours already. There was nothing left to do! She’d completed the intricate plan that she was going to show to the Princess in around half the time she had estimated it would take. Well ... one last revision wouldn’t hurt, right? She pulled a coffee-stained paper sheet from her saddle bags and unfurled it.

Master Plan
Step 1) Get heisting related items
Step 2) Heist
Step 3) ????
Step 4) Profit

Yes, yes ... there was nothing that could go wrong with this , Starswirl the Bearded himself would be jealous of the methodical work and care put into this master strategy. Now the only thing left to do was wait.

~~~~

“No no no, where is it?” Celestia muttered to herself as she rummaged around ancient cardboard boxes, hurling them left and right. She had spent the last three hours desperately searching for her old equipment that used a thousand years ago. Would it still work? She was pretty sure that they had expiration dates, or something of the sort. With Luna banished to the moon, there was no need for any sort of cake heists or heisting equipment whatsoever. And so they were simply relegated to sit in some unknown storage room, with no more to be produced.

Celestia was really beginning to regret that decision right about now.

“Aha! Finally!” She exclaimed as she grasped the final box in the room, flipping it around in her magical grasp until she could see the label.

SUPER DUPER TOP SECRET: PRINCESES ONLY

Ugh, that typo from years long past was still there. It was a good thing that only she and Luna had ever seen it. Unpacking the container, Celestia began to take stock of the provisions. Three smoke bombs, a jet black catsuit and a pair of binoculars. Okay, so she might have overestimated how many things were in this box, a thousand years tends to make you forget a figure or two.

Slipping into the catsuit, or at least attempting to, Celestia huffed and puffed as she tried to shimmy the zipper upward. “Almost ... almost .... there!” She visibly blanched as the realization washed over her. You know... that horrible, horrible realization which makes your blood freeze solid. She, Princess Celestia, Goddess of the Sun and Herald of the Day, was getting fat.

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKK!!!”
~~~~

“-KKKKKK!!!”

“HM!? Whazzat?” Twilight Sparkle was jolted awake by the bloodcurdling scream coming from ... Canterlot Castle? She squinted her eyes in confusion, staring out the train window at the looming mountain in the distance. There was nopony in the train car with her, so she had a full unobstructed view of the pristine capital of Equestria.

~~~~

Meanwhile in Ponyville...

“Rarity! Rarity! Sis!” Sweetie Belle charged through the doors of Carousel Boutique, barreling past several stacks of precious silk and golden thread.

“OOF! Slow down Sweetie!” Rarity was molding cloth and thread into an ornate new dress for a wealthy client from Manehattan potentially worth thousands, if not millions of bits, “I need this done by today, and Celestia help me if I don’t finish.”

“Sorry, but I heard a cool new word today, Rarity!”

“Oooh, that’s fantastic! Care to tell me what it is?” Rarity replied. The more things Sweetie learned and less horrifically dangerous crusading she did, the better. And besides, she couldn’t afford to fail this order because of their antics, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“Uhh, it’s ... um, ah ... Oh yeah! It’s ‘buck’!”

KKKKKKSSSSSSCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH

The dress was not completed on time.
~~~~

Back in Canterlot...

So here Twilight Sparkle was, trembling in front of Canterlot Castle. Its imposing proportions loomed over her like an impending thunderstorm and the glimmering golden roofs winked wildly under the sinking evening sun, blinding her. Gulping, she slowly set one hoof in front of the other and began her trek inside.

Even after all her years here studying as Celestia’s personal student, Twilight could never truly wrap her mortal mind around the sheer size of the castle. Blindly wandering around for what seemed like an eternity, she finally stood in front of the somehow even more imposing doors to the throne room.

Wrestling down the urge to gulp again, Twilight nudged her hoof against the door, peering into the inexplicably empty throne room.

“P-princess?” she called out uncertainly, “a-are you ...”

“So you have arrived, Agent Purple,” Celestia’s voice rang out from deep with in the room, “No need to worry, this room is perfectly secure.”

“Uhhh, sure Princess,” Twilight replied uncertainly, fully opening the door and stepping in, “You called me here?”

“Indeed I did, agent.” Celestia pulled up a cushion and sat down on her haunches, Twilight soon following after. “Now, on to business, I believe you have a plan of action to show me?”

“Of course Princess!” Immediately perked up by the thought of turning in more work (weirdo), Twilight ripped open her saddlebags with renewed vigor, and levitated out her plan.

“Hmm ... heisting related items ... heist ...” Celestia mused to herself, “This ... this is ... PERFECT! Fantastic work as always Agent Purple.”

“Thank you Princess!” Twilight beamed her satisfaction, it was just another job well done.

“Now Agent Purple, onto our plan of action,” Celestia continued, dragging out a whiteboard and some markers, “The current situation is dire, we don’t have much time to act.”

“Why did you call me here in the first place anyway, Princess? Is Discord loose? Nightmare Moon is back? Oh Faust ... IS THERE GOING TO BE A TEST?”

“No, my faithful agent, something far, far worse,” Celestia’s face darkened at the thought, “Something that threatens the fate of Equestria, Equus, and even the entire world!”



“YES!?” Twilight replied, now frantic and crazed.

“There ... there are ... THERE ARE NO MORE CAKES IN CANTERLOT!” Celestia wailed.

*Cue screeching violins*

Author's Note

Apologies for the somewhat short chapter this week, there's a lot of stuff going on in school right now.

On another note, any suggestions for cover art?