The Smiler

by Elegy Fermata

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark
Length: 4066

CAUTION: This story may or may not cause a perpetual state of inexplicable smiling. If this story happens to – for any reason at all – not make you smile, seek medical help and get corrected.

WARNING: Excessive smiling may result in major cases on minor mania; heart palpitations, or a rare case of palpitating palpitations of the heart; inexplicable bouts of laughter; convulsions of the chest due to aforementioned inexplicable bouts of laughter; loss of breath due to aforementioned convulsions of the chest due to inexplicable bouts of laughter; loss of hunger; loss of libido; loss of vocal cords; loss of possessions due to somepony who doesn’t smile; loss of life due to somepony who doesn’t smile; loss of thoughts; loss of thoughts about thinking; loss of attention to surroundings; loss of any care in the world; loss of virginity; loss of the loss of virginity, or a curious penchant for repetition.

If any of these side effects surface, keep smiling. Everything will be just fine.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-31 16:50:06 UTC

Chapter First and Last: Be Happy

The Smiler

“Be Happy… Festival?” Twilight murmured over a chorus of laughter emanating from a group of ponies. She averted her gaze from the crudely made banner and glanced at the lack of festivities in the expanse of land within Ponyville before her. “But Pinkie Pie,” she raised an eyebrow at Pinkie Pie who was grinning behind her, “this isn’t a festival at all. There’s nothing even here.”

“Oh, Twilight,” Pinkie chuckled, “don’t be silly. A festival is a festival no matter what there is or isn’t. I have a festival in my head every day. Just because it’s in my head and only me on my lonesome doesn’t mean it’s not a festival. It’s a festival of joy, you see. We don’t need anything to be happy. I’ve been concerned about everypony because they’ve all forgotten what it’s like to be happy. It’s been getting harder and harder and harder to make ponies smile and I don’t like it when ponies aren’t happy. I’m supposed to make them laugh and smile. If everypony is happy, then the world is brighter because of it. If ponies are unhappy, then that makes everypony unhappy in an unhappy, dark world.

“So I came up with an idea. We don’t need a great big festival with lots and lot of stalls selling candy and toffee apples and pottery and candles and lamps and scarves and records and those little liquid blobby things that nopony knows what the purpose of it is but slips out their hooves when they try to grip it and plates and models of landmarks in Equestria and-”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Twilight held out a hoof, “I get it. Just slow down, will you? It’s giving me a headache.”

“Oh,” Pinkie beamed, “sorry.” She frowned as she paused. “Where was I?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even think I know where I am anymore.”

“Oh, that’s right!”

“That… was right? What?” Twilight groaned and brought a hoof to her head. “I really do have a headache now.”

“Not that, Twilight. I was saying we don’t need much to make us happy. We need each other. I got a super duper top scientist to work it out.”

“And…” Twilight swirled her hoof, “who is this scientist, exactly?”

“Me!”

“Oh.”

“Wait,” Pinkie’s brow furrowed, “that’s me!”

“You don’t say,” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“It’s simple, Twilight. The more we are exposed to joy, and I’m talking about seeing others experience joy rather than experiencing it ourselves, we become more prone to being filled with overwhelming joy! If we concentrate this stimulus, the observation of joy, the faster we experience it and the greater the experience becomes.

“To put it into perspective, think about a house of happy ponies. Now, that sounds great, doesn’t it?”

“Sounds absolutely fantastic!” Twilight grinned widely, then turned her head with a scowl.

“Now stay with me on this one because it’s gonna get complicated from hereon out. Let’s keep that thought of a house of happy ponies and bring in a whole city heaving with happy ponies!”

“Wow… that’s just…” Twilight blew a whispering gust of air and brought a hoof to her head. “That’s… insane.”

Pinkie frowned. “Umm… Twilight, that’s not the complicated part. I didn’t think I’d lose you that quickly.”

“Oh, umm…” Twilight smirked nervously, “I, uhh… yeah, I think I get it, actually.”

“Now, Ponyville isn’t a city. Despite what the name suggests, Ponyville isn’t a village at all. It’s a town. I don’t know if you knew that or not. Not a lot of ponies know about it. I’m sure you could’ve worked it out with that big noggin of yours.

“The challenge is to condense all that wonderful bundle of joy into one neat package to bring into Ponyville to make everypony happy again, and I managed to do it!”

“Yeah… look, Pinkie, this sounds great, but also whimsical. It’s a good thought in some way, but it’s just not going to happen. It sounds like you’re wanting to force ponies to feel happy, but it doesn’t work like that. We’re just in a rough time right now. That’s all. It’ll all blow over soon.”

“Oh, really?” Pinkie Pie squinted at Twilight.

“Yes.”

“Oh, really?” Pinkie Pie squinted harder.

“Yes?” The corners of Twilight’s mouth twitched.

“Oh, reeeaaally?”

“Yes. And what are you getting at here, exactly?”

“Then what do you have to say about that?” Pinkie pointed to the ponies partaking in the makeshift festival. “They look happy, don’t they?”

Twilight observed the festivalgoers and sighed as she lowered her gaze, then she turned back to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie.”

“Yes, Twilight?” Pinkie fluttered her lashes.

“You brought every pony from the mental institution, didn’t you?”

Pinkie stopped fluttering her lashes and stared at Twilight with a grin carved into her face. “Well… I may have used them as test subjects.”

“Test subjects? Now what the hay do you mean by ‘test subjects’?” Twilight glowered at Pinkie.

“You have to start from somewhere, don’t you, Twilight? I wanted to find out is my methods would work, but I had nopony to test on. So I had to think about who could be expendable.”

“Expendable?” Twilight spluttered. “What do you mean by ‘expendable’? Ponies are not expendable, Pinkie!”

“Oh, umm,” Pinkie stroked her chin, “I meant – what’s the word? – expungeable! I always get the two words mixed up. Not ‘spongeable’ because that would be ridiculous. Expungeable. As in having all the negative thoughts and feelings they have be expunged. Obliterated. Annihilated. Destroyed. Replaced by happiness.

“Go on, Twilight,” Pinkie waved a hoof at the crowd. She gave a coy smile. “Take a look for yourself. They’re happy now. Join them.”

Twilight eyeballed Pinkie Pie as a grin slowly stretched across Pinkie’s face. Her ears pricked as Pinkie’s silence was flooded by the laughter from the clusters of ponies in the town’s yard. Twilight twisted her head towards the rhythmic swelling of air, her eyes still glued to Pinkie’s. Her ears strained to extract the detail that had brought her at unease.

Her gaze drifted and trailed along the shivering grass. Her thoughts slotted into place: the laughter seemed… melodic. It seemed forced and emotionless. Synchronised, even.

There was scarcely any thought when Twilight began to slowly trot towards them. Her legs had barely any feeling to them as though she was gliding weightlessly through the emerald sea. The maneframe of her brain had primed its audial receptors and dulled all other senses that were deemed unnecessary. There was only that curious chorus of laughter that appeared all too familiar, as though she had heard it all before, but the memory hid from her in the dark recesses of her brain.

She could almost envision it. It felt vivid, yet distant. It was as if the memory was a fresh wound oozing crimson fluid, and the tides of time was a drug that dulled the pain. An anaesthetic to all she had experienced; but there was something. Fluttershy. Fluttershy? Yes, Fluttershy. There was no location or time. Just Fluttershy. Her wordless song floated without substance within Twilight’s mind, twisted and butchered in the throes of laughter.

They were watching her. For a brief moment, Twilight’s internal rhythm had halted and grew cold. Then, as her heart resumed its pounding, the cold warmed into irresistible curiosity.

Their faces, despite the layer of fur, reminded Twilight of sun-baked leather. They seemed cadaverous with their skin stretched taut around their skulls. Heavy wrinkles wrapped tightly around the corners of their grins as though fighting valiantly to maintain their position of the ponies’ faces.

“Join us,” They said, wide-eyed and delirious. Their voices slid over their words in their gentle coax, which gave off an irritable odour of heartless judgement. It reminded Twilight of her days at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Not within the school itself, no. Her fellow students were surprisingly accommodating, although envy was seldom present due to her intimidating wisdom she exuded from an early age.

It was the outsiders – the ones who struggled to grip the ever holy chalice of intellect – who would smile and greet her, for everypony knew of the truly brilliant Twilight Sparkle. There was, however, and ever present glint of malice behind their mask of a little too wide of a smile that frankly disturbed Twilight to the point she grew distant and almost cold to everypony. Everypony except, of course, her family and Princess Celestia.

It was this smile, once again, that greeted her. There was no warmth present in their plastic, play doll grins. Unlike the unicorn folk of the forlorn past, these ponies hadn’t attempted to hide the false sincerity of their smiles.

Twilight had halted a couple yards away from the first small cluster of ponies – the ones who had turned to her with stiff mirth – with mistrust and a shadow of fear preventing her from drawing any closer. “What… what’s happened to you?” was all that Twilight could manage.

They kept laughing.

“Pinkie Pie,” she said, turning, “what did you-”

A scream rang out as the same disturbing grin was plastered onto a pink face pressed close, eyes large and wild as though stretched around Pinkie's face. Twilight stepped back and was promptly muffled by a cloth held by a pony from behind.

Twilight fought against her assaulter, squirming and tugging. Pinkie’s face held its glee mercilessly – her once warm, bright face now cold and devoid of remorse. Twilight’s horn flared and sparked in showers of violet light as initial shock fleeted, but her magic wouldn’t carry her away. She closed her eyes, screaming into the cloth. Pinkie’s face blazed behind her eyelids, watching her and gloating.

When she opened her eyes again, the image remained the same as though her surroundings was merely a mirage – a painting in which she was trapped.

Pinkie’s smile faded to pink as Twilight’s vision hazed. Her body began to feel heavy as her legs began to buckle, but she still fought weakly against the pony holding her. Then she collapsed. She had just enough strength to hold up her head and glance at the pink blot towering ominously over her, bobbing. Her mouth murmured silent words. The laughter seemed to intensify, vibrating within Twilight’s brain and drifted into white noise.

There was remorse.

There was a hint of spite.

There was laughter.

Then there was black.

There was a soft buzz that welcomed Twilight to consciousness. It thrummed through her body and sent tingles along her nerves. Her body stirred as light trespassed through her eyelids with its garish glow and flooded Twilight’s vision with blood. There was a clotting scent of copper that touched her tongue, and her tongue rubbed against the roof of her mouth to scratch off the irritating tickle of metal.

A trail of saliva slithered down the back of her throat. Through her subconscious state, Twilight instinctively swallowed. The saliva caught in her throat and she awoke coughing and spluttering with a tightness wrapped around her head. She could feel the undulating flow of blood coursing through her head and legs. She lifted a foreleg, but it held fast. She tried to lift her head, but it wouldn’t respond to her efforts.

She muttered uncertainties as she strained her muscles against her paralysis. Her thoughts began to gain clarity and her eyes lost its bleariness, focussing on anything other than the glaring, buzzing light that mocked her with the futility of her attempts to avert her gaze from its burning intensity.

Panic rose as she felt as though she was inside an operating theatre and was about to be probed by scalpels and forceps, chest held agape by retractors to allow her insides to be lovingly brought out on full display. She would be fully conscious and would feel nauseous if it weren’t for the temporary anaesthesia that left her body as nothing more than a husk. Her head would be cruelly tilted forwards so she could observe the dissection for the pleasure of those operating on her. Their cacophonous giggling would pound her eardrums as their sick carnal desires were satisfied.

Twilight closed her eyes and attempted to relax her ragged breathing. She knew that the fear of the fantasy she envisioned coming true was irrational. The muscles of her chest softened and allowed her to take deep breaths. Her heart continued to vigorously pound through her rational fear of the unknown. The beating became increasingly prominent as she opened her eyes and saw her foreleg was restrained by a metal band.

Her thoughts snapped out of its haze as she realised she wasn’t paralysed at all, but was instead bound to a slab of steel. It didn’t make her situation any more promising.

The blazing light snapped off with a heavy thunk. All that was left was the shaky exhalation and whimpering as Twilight attempted to pry herself free from her restraints, horn flaring uselessly as her magic was promptly snuffed.

“Hello, Twilight!” A bright pink face invaded Twilight’s vision. “How are you feeling today?” Twilight stared. Her breathing became ragged once again. Pinkie pouted. “Don’t worry, Twilight. We’ll turn that frown upside down and everything will be peachy just like old times, right?” Twilight continued to stare and Pinkie beamed. “Righty right.”

As sudden as she appeared, Pinkie vanished from sight. Her voice echoed through the chamber, “Now everything will go smoothly if you comply with what I tell you to do, and really, what I request from you really is not difficult at all.”

Gears grinded beneath Twilight and pistons hissed as the table slowly tilted into an upright position. Twilight’s body was slack, but her forelegs fought to hold up her body or else the bones of her forelegs would strain against the metal restraints and cause pain to lash out at her.

Pinkie Pie was stood before her, grinning. She held a small box with a yellow button on top with a wire trailing from it. “Now, this will be a lot less painful if you do as I say. All I need you to do is smile, so… smile.”

Twilight’s lips trembled and Pinkie’s grin softened ever so slightly. She brought down her hoof onto the button and Twilight shrieked as crackles of electricity lanced through her body, writhing against her restraints.

Pinkie’s hoof lifted, leaving Twilight’s nerved to tingle from the aftermath of the shock. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” Twilight gasped.

“I did tell you to smile, didn’t I? I warned you that it would be a lot less painful if you just did what I told you to do, but you didn’t, did you? So now, at least, you know what’ll happen if you don’t smile, so smile.”

“Pinkie, please stop this. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing. If you don’t comply, I have to take drastic action to make you comply. Now smile.”

"No, Pinkie, please!" She screamed as electricity coursed through her body, slashing through her muscles. Her chest heaved as though the arc of her body would give her respite from the agony. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears beading at the corners, and she gritted her teeth. She released a gasp of air as the electricity cut off. Her lungs fought to bring oxygen into her body with trembling breaths.

"Twilight," Pinkie chided, "I really don't know what's so difficult about this. I tell you to smile, but you don't. Why? All you have to do is smile, Twilight."

"Why," Twilight rasped, opening her eyes to fix Pinkie with a stare devoid of strength. "Why are you doing this, Pinkie? Why? You don't need to do this, so please, just cut all of this out."

"I can't, Twilight." Twilight's body slumped. "This is my duty. Now, you can make this a lot less painful for the both of us, or you can continue to defy my orders." Pinkie tilted her head with a soft, yet condescending smile. "It's your choice."

"Is this what you did to your so-called 'test subjects', then?" Twilight's brow tightened. "You bring them here and force them to smile against their will for your own satisfaction? Is that it?" She yelled. Her eyes bore into Pinkie's with a fiery fury. "What happened to you, Pinkie? Can you answer that? Because this isn't like you at all. This is sick! What you're doing is sick! And to betray your own friends, for what? What is it all for, Pinkie? Are the ponies around you not making you happy anymore? Is that it? Who are you? You sure as hay not someone I know! You're sick! You're a sick, putrid monster and I want to know what happened to Pinkie Pie! Bring her back! Just bring her back!"

Twilight wept silently. A grin, as shaky as it was, stretched across Pinkie's face with tears streaking down her cheeks. She brought down her hoof.

Twilight howled as her body exploded into spasms, flaring wildly through the merciless lacerations. Her head was desperate to pound against the cold steel behind it, to instead focus on bearable pain, but the bindings cruelly prevented it from doing so. Her body slackened as it was allowed respite from vigorous contractions and convulsions. Her breath was strained and tired.

"Just smile, Twilight," Pinkie coaxed with a gentle murmur, "and everything will be fine. Don't resist, or else we'll have to go through this all day. It doesn't hurt to smile, but if you don't... well, you already know what you'll feel, don't you? Doesn't feel good, does it? So make this easier on us and just smile, okay?"

"Stop it. Please, just stop."

"Smile."

Twilight's eyes grew wild as she screamed, "Stop it, Pinkie! Just cut it out! You don't need to do this so just stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Her screams turned to agonised wails as the writhing pain washed over her. It felt as though her body was infested by an army of fire ants with each of them burning beneath her skin, causing her nerves to rapidly fire. And then there was a discordant solitude as the fire ants departed her body, and tears streamed of their own volition, pattering with a metallic ring to the floor.

Pinkie's ears piqued as a quiet chuckle, nothing more than a throaty gurgle, throbbed through the room. She saw the slightest twitch play along the corners of Twilight's mouth. Pinkie's hoof waited in careful consideration. Twilight held her eyes closed as the muscles of her cheeks strained in their attempt to tighten into a solemn expression of pseudo-joy. Her lips strained and managed to curl into a tight grin. Pinkie's grin slackened into a gentle smile of genuine warmth as Twilight's mouth strengthened its stance, and her hoof decided to fall to her side, contented.

“Now, that’s much better, Twilight. You see, it really wasn’t that difficult, was it? Can’t you just feel how much better it is to smile?

“This next part may make you feel uneasy, but just remember to keep smiling no matter what and it’ll be over super quick and painlessly. Well, there will be a slight pain, but it really is nothing to worry about. It’s just really a little prick.”

Pinkie lowered her body to stand on three hooves – the little metal box with that yellow cursed button still held in hoof. Twilight continued to grin at the pallid stone wall as Pinkie removed herself from her sights and took position at the edge of the dimly lit room to Twilight’s right.

“Oh, I should warn you as well: whatever happens, just keep smiling, okay? I don’t know if I told you that or not. I probably did, but it doesn’t hurt to repeat important information, does it?”

A loud clank rang out as the machine that lay dormant above Twilight whirred into life.

Twilight gave a light chuckle, her eyes still held wide, and she felt a trickle of sweat run along her brow. “Uhh, Pinkie, what’s going on?”

Pinkie didn’t answer; she didn’t need to. A giant scorpion tail of steel descended before Twilight and she stared at the great syringe filled with a glowing golden viscous fluid, tipped with a mercilessly long needle.

Twilight’s grin crumbled. “Pinkie,” she rasped, “you’re not serious, are you?” The tail inched towards Twilight’s abdomen with its great stinger glinting maliciously from the golden glow. “Pinkie?” Her breath caught. “Pinkie!” She howled. Her body writhed spasmodically and uselessly, arcing to tear itself from its restraints. “Stop it, stop it, please, I beg you! Pinkie, let me out!”

The tail halted its progression. The machine clicked in contemplation whilst Twilight’s rampant breathing filled the chamber, then, “Smile.”

Twilight’s pupils dilated and her heart stopped momentarily. “No… no!” Her body spasmed and her screams were choked off, resulting in petty gurgles as her body screamed for her.

As respite arrived, her body was flooded with a curious pleasure. Her muscles softened, unwilling to fight any longer. The stinger descended and Twilight stared at it with a wide grin. The only indication of her fear was the thunderous thumping of her heart.

The stinger pierced her skin and dug deep. Twilight could feel the careful injection of the golden fluid and she figured that the cruel coolness of the fluid was so to make its presence apparent as the chill flooded her veins and filled her heart.

Twilight focussed on the slow descent of the plunger, trying to ignore the stirring of her loins as she did so. As it reached the tip, the coolness in her veins turned to comforting warmth that relaxed her mind and body. Then pistons hissed as the needle exited Twilight’s body.

Replacing the robotic tail were lamps, like two eyes that gazed with solemnity at Twilight, one at either side of her at the edge of her vision. There was a scratching sound that accompanied a swirling light playing along the wall before her, twisting and contorting, black and white.

Twilight’s ears pricked as an atmospheric metallic wail and clacking and grinding of gears floated around her along with solemn deft plucks of a bass guitar. A bass drum followed through with heavy thumps as the swirls projected onto the wall transformed into a striped tunnel that discombobulated her senses. Her heart pounded as she felt as though she was careering through the tunnel.

Along with the howling laughter of a stallion and the tinkle of a xylophone were pictures of ponies within the tunnel with exaggerated expressions of joy – their smiles like a disfigurement on their own. Each one of them were laughing at Twilight until she realised, melodic as it was, that the laughter was being played with the music.

A gentle hiss came from beneath her and soon a yellow cloud rose and enveloped her in its warm embrace. She didn’t fight. She breathed in the flowery scent of the gas and it invaded her body, welcomed with open forelegs like the seed of a stallion. The lamps sparked like the flashing mob of paparazzi and illuminated the yellow cloud while piercing Twilight’s retinas.

There came a chorus of fillies and colts singing together harmoniously above the controlled bursts of laughter that marked every syllable:

“Joy, joy, it’s a wondrous thing to be

If you join me, you shall see

Smile, smile and together we will be

Hold me now for we are free.”

Her lungs convulsed from the gas swarming inside her, but she couldn’t feel it. All she could feel was the relentless increase of intensity of the children’s song:

“And together we shall leave

This world of misery

You and me, we shall see

That joy makes the world complete

My little pony.”

Words floated into her mind of its own volition as she was violated by glaring lights and grinning menaces she accepted as friends, her senses pried from her body from the onslaught. There was one last thought of Twilight’s. It was a thought of a vivid feeling of slipping away, her body melting into the steel. As the song reached its crescendo, she took a lungful of cloying gas and screamed…

…with laughter.

                                                     8th August 2014 - 30th August 2014