The League of Extraordinary Gentlecolt

by Alesiopdv

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 1364

A combination of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and My Little Pony

In an alternate universe, Queen Celestia rules the Kingodm of Equestria. But danger looms over her thousandth anniversary. Twilight Sparkle, one of the most brilliant unicorns in teh kingdom, is handled the task of find the missing Elements of Harmony before the ceremony but more sinister motives are hidden behind her mission.

AuthorÂ´s note: Honestly, I canÂ´t believe someone hasnÂ´t already done this. It seemed so obvious.

By the way, the title itÂ´s not a thypo is because…ah, keep reading.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-17 22:59:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Year 999 of the Glorious Celestian Kingdom

All hail Glorious Queen Celestia!

After vanquishing her traitorous sister Princess Luna into the moon, our glorious and eternal ruler had created an idyllic kingdom that brings joy and wisdom to every kind of pony and to all the inferior races that inhabitant its borders. Thanks to her rectitude, vicious land like the brutish Griffon Empire and the Zebra´s land had been subjugated and integrated into the magnanimous Kingdom of Equestria. Now, in celebration for the thousandth anniversary of the Queen enthronement, a new cloud tunnel is being held that will permanently unite the Celestian Kingdom with the pegasi metropolis of Cloudsdale! Celebrations for the aperture will be held on the fifth of the Platinum, starting at noon! Join us to celebrate the expansion of our rightful kingdom and that all the ignorant masses learn to subjugate to our divine ruler!

Eternal live to Queen Celestia!

****

Standing at the hooves of the massive statue of the Eternal Bringer of the Sun stood a little purple dragon, draped on a fine suit and wearing a dandy top hat. He opened a jewel case and took a small ruby. A little bit of naughty behavior he was allowed to have. He had been waiting for long, after all. He heard the sound of the pegasi carriage descending and chewed slowly, hoping to infuriate her partner. She descended the carriage and cursed as the wind dared to disturb her ensemble. Her scarf wobbled playfully, mocking her. A small glimpse of her scars made the dragon a little regretful and he swallowed the incrusted gem.

“It sure took you long to come, Twilight…” he chuckled.

“I was busy making final preparations…” and she straightened her scarf. “And it´s Lady Sparkle for you, dragon.”

He growled but kept still and pulled the scroll form his jacket. “Lady Twilight Sparkle, my loyal subject, I, the eternal Queen Celestia the Only, entitle this assignment to you. You must gather the six Elements of Harmony and bring them to the Capital City of Canterlot by the time of the celebration for the Thousandth Anniversary of my glorious Enthronement. The motives behind this assignment are not for you to know. Make full of this orders hasty and without failure. My Words are Eternal. Queen Celestia the Only in the glorious year of blah blah…”

She smacked him hard. “Be respectful, reptile!

“So basically, our Glorious majesty wants you to gather six other ponies and bring them to Canterlot…”

“A simple task indeed, I wondered why Our Queen had ordered for you to be my escort, lizard.”

“I´m a royal servant, Lady Sparkle; our Beloved Queen protects her interests.”

“You insinuation I may fail don this assignment is insulting, dragon; but I suppose I must endure your lack of manners. After all, your species can´t aspire to being nothing more than mere servants.”

He growled some unintelligible curse in draconian language but the basics involved Lady Sparkle’s mother being ravaged by Diamond Dogs in front of her; and moved to the carriage only to be magically pulled by her.

“What the deuce?! What exactly do you pretend, mule?!”

“Watch your language, lizard. And the carriage was only meant to bring me here. Our method of transportation is coming soon.”

“What method of transportation?”

As response, she looked up at the gathering clouds. Suddenly, an impressive airship made its entrance. The floating fortress had the size of a small village with the exception of the dozens of ominous weaponry sprouting on its sides. No introductions were necessary.

“The Pegasisises? What does that jennet of the Queen is thinking associating with the Cuatrero Celeste?"

She punched him hard. “Do not speak of Our Queen like that, beast! And the correct term is Pegasis, being Pegasides the adjacent small vessels. And it´s not our place to question of Glorious Regent decisions.”

A plank descended with a loud stomp, inviting Lady Sparkle and Spike to enter the fortress. Awaiting there on the deck was the Sky Rattler, Applejack.

“Morning, Miss Twi.”

“Good day to you, Mrs. Applejack. And I must remind you again that the proper term is Lady Sparkle.”

“Ah call you whatever ah want, now get ´n ´fore ah decide to change tah terms of our agreemen´.”

“Wha´s tah thing?” a little yellow filly asked pointing to Spike.

“I’m a dragon, you little jennet.”

Applejack grabbed him by his collar and threatened to throw him overboard.

“Talk to mah sister like tah again and ah´ll turn yah into a red spot in tah landscape.”

“…ugh..g…got it!”

“Big MacIntosh, send ´em Miss Twi and tah thing into ´em berths.”

“Eeeyup.”

****

Zebrica, once the most desired jewel for the Kingdom; long gone were the days of the adventurous pony explorers now replaced by the greedy glue companies and their most that dubious methods. The ponies in Canterlot couldn’t care less for the loss of some zebras being soulless creatures for all they cared. Spike had read enough about the place to know it was unpleasant but nothing prepared him for the smell of zebra´s dung. He was on the verge of puking but got slightly gay once he saw that Twilight was leading him inside a brothel house. Smell or not, he was more than anxious to taste some of that zebra´s plot.

“Wait here.” She ordered and he let go that curse that have been building on his stomach since he knew her that many years ago.

Inside, the stink was even worse. The notorious stink of cider addicts, low-life drunks, former heroes of the Kingdom now reduced to pathetic slobs that spent their days drowning themselves on zap apples cider. Twilight wrinkled her snout before being lead to the berth she wanted. Laying there, a shell of her former being, stood the Great Cyan Hunter.

“Miss Rainbow Dash?” she asked needlessly.

Rainbow didn’t answer her. Her mind was trailing off, lost in long lost memories of lost lovers and lost fights.

“Miss Rainbow Muriel Dash, wake up! You Queen needs you!”

Rainbow looked up at the lilac unicorn in front of her. She had seen her before, but where? She couldn’t remember, nor wanted to.

“Agh! I knew this was useless! You´re nothing but a drunken slob! Who are you! Leave me alone! NO! Wait! Don´t you dare! Don´t you know who I am? Let go off me!”

Outside the brothel, Spike was contemplating ask for the service of one filly zebra. If he was quick enough, which he always was, he could release a little steam while Twilight finished whatever business she was having in there. Unfortunately, his plans were ruined by a cyan pegasus storming through the door carrying a disheveled Twilight. The two griffons rapists, their prey snatched form their claws, came out as well roaring furious. Rainbow was hardly on her best shape but had enough little pride inside her to want to fight.

“Stop standing there like an idiot, Spike and run!!”

Spike got his composure back and took off. Rainbow was busy landing some hits at the griffons but it was obvious she was about to lose. Twilight used her magic to place the griffons inside two magic bubbles but knew it was a temporary solutions. They trotted off to the ceiling of a house, pushing merchants and mules on their way up. The two griffons have now a full squadron backing them up and there was no way out. Rainbow hugged Twilight and flew off, Spike grabbing her tail at the last second. Of course, griffons had wings as well so that solution was fruitless.

“Yah better stand back a little, Miss Twi…”

Rainbow sprout a small curse at seeing the floating boat and the freckled pony that was standing on it. As Twilight and Spike secured Rainbow inside the artifact, Applejack calmly raised a shotgun and shot the first griffon on the beak. Once they realized the death of their partner, the griffon attacked en masse but Big MacIntosh was alredy with a Gaitlign gun at hooves to finish them off. Applejack calmly turned over to Rainbow Dash and said:

“Welcome tah the Pegasis, Miss Dash.”