Late Night Robbery

by HoodwinkedTales

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Other, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4410

Hoodwink and her friends butt heads with some robbers. Oh boy, did they rob the wrong mare.

Hoodwink is on leave and stopping by her friends' house in Appleloosa. Late at night she awaken to a crash in the kitchen. When she gets down she's greeted by robbers. When one escapes, it becomes her mission to bring down justice on these criminals, but is she dealing with more than just some petty thieves?

Published 2014-08-31 19:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-31 19:30:06 UTC

Midnight Scuffle

It was a dark stormy night. Hoodwink was sleeping soundly in her bed. She was visiting her friends, one of her former solar guard comrades turned local saloon owner, Fable Stable and his wife Appletini in Appleloosa.
“Psst… Hoodwink…,” a voice whispered.

“Hmmmm…” she moaned.

“Hoodwink…wake up…” a hoof poked her cheek.

“Mom, five more minutes…” she brushed it away.

“Wake up ya idgit!” a stern voice quietly scolded her before smacking her on the muzzle.

“OW!” she yelped before a hoof went over her mouth.

“Shhh.”

She pushed away the hoof and whispered, “Fable? Appletini? What the hay is going on?”

“Ah heard somethin’ down stairs.” Appletini squeaked.

“Well why don’t you take care of it, Fable? You have an axe right? Should be no problem?” she pulled the covers over her face.

“Grrr…” he pulled the covers off the bed. “Mah axe is outside ya idgit. So go down with yer sw…”

BOOM! CRASH!

Appletini hid under the bed. Hoodwink jumped out of bed and put her armor on.

“It sounds like their down in the kitchen…” she said putting on her helmet.

“Mah cider!” Appletinne gasped.

“Com’on let’s go Hoodwink!” Fable started out of the room.

Hoodwink followed down the staircase. When they got closer to the bottom, they could hear some rustling in the kitchen.

Hoodwink got in front of Fable “Shhhh… I got this.”

Fable stepped on her tail, “Hold it right there pardner. That cider is mah and mah wife’s pride and business. This jack ass just made this personal.”

A streak of lightning brightened up the house for a split second. In the kitchen they could see three silhouettes, one going through Appletini’s cider cupboard, the other two trying crack the lock on her other drink storages.

“Not a good idea Fable, you don’t have a weapon, even if those jack asses made it personal.” Hoodwink pulled her tail out from under his hoof. “Just stay here for now.”

Hoodwink sneaked towards the doorframe. She drew out her sword, ready to obtain the burglars. She could hear their conversation clearly.

“Wow! There’s enough cider here to last us for weeks.” A stallion’s voice with a slight accent said in amazement.

“Remember, we’re not drinking it stupid. We have to sell it so we can buy some classier stuff. I wouldn’t drink this rubbish if someone paid me.” A mare’s voice scoffed.

“Why those consarnit…” Fables said through his teeth from right behind Hoodwink, making her jump and make a loud clinking sound with her horseshoes.

“What was that?” the third thief, a stallion with a very gruff and scratchy voice said, “We have to get out of here.”
They started quickly getting all the cider into a sack they had.

“Dammit Fable…” Hoodwink mumbled.

She jumped into the room, shining a light on the thieves. “Halt, you’re all under arrest!”

“Oh no it’s the po-po.” One of the stallions yelled.

Hoodwink tackled the mare to the floor, knocking her out. Fable rushed into the room and bucked the closest pony, the stallion at the cider cupboards in the face.

The second stallion grabbed the sack of cider and dashed out of an open window.

“HEY! GET BACK HERE YA JACK ASS!” Fable shouted after him.

“Appletini! Come down here and make sure these two don’t get away!” Hoodwink called out to the mare hiding on top on the staircase.

When Hoodwink got to the window, Fable was having a hard time squeezing through with his beefy frame.

“Ugh! He’s going to get away!” Hoodwink spun around and raised her back legs, “Sorry Fable.”

With a swift kick, Fable popped out of the window frame onto his face with a sound thud.

“Oof!” He quickly got up and looked around for the stallion. “GET BACK HERE YOU BUCKIN’ COWARD!” he shouted into the rainy darkness.

Hoodwink jumped through the window and looked around. In the rain, it was hard to see anything. She could hardly make out Fable ten feet in front of her.

Suddenly a distant streak of lightning lit up the dark sky. In the flash of light, she could make out a dark figure flying away about fifteen to twenty feet above them. He was a pegasis!

“FABLE! HE’S UP THERE!” she shined a light on the thief.

Fable looked up and started running after the pegasis, screaming and swearing in rage. Hoodwink galloped after Fable. She looked up and saw the pegasis. He was going awfully slow because of the extra weight of the cider. She just might be able to get him.

“FABLE! LAUNCH ME!” she ordered jumping onto Fable’s back.

He spun around and bucked Hoodwink, launching her super high in the air. She was nearly right behind the thief when she started slowing down.

“Crap! He’s just out of reach! I only have one shot!” she thought.

She took her sword in her telekinesis and hurled it at him. At the angle, she threw her sword; it cut a good chunk of his ear off, causing him to scream in pain, dropping the cider. He tried to dive for it but when he stopped dead in the air Hoodwink crashed right into him. She grabbed onto him making both of them plummet to the ground. He punched and kicked trying to break free of her hold. He finally broke free when he got a good kick in her gut causing her to welp in pain. Before she could lose him, she clamped her teeth onto the end of his long tail.

“Crazy old hag!” he hissed.

He began to flail in the air trying to shake her off. Bucking at her, spinning around, diving, flipping, barrel rolling, Hoodwink refused to let go. But she could feel the crook’s tail slipping out from between her teeth. He could feel it too. He began to fly to a dangerous height.

“You’re going to wish you would have let go when you could’ve.” He laughed.

“This stallion is crazy!” she thought.

She looked down and saw Fable right beneath them.

“I really hope Fable still remembers how to catch…,” she prayed.

When she was looking down, he buck her one last time, knocking her off.

“See you next fall officer.” He snickered!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” she screamed, doing everything she could to try to slow down.
Seeing Hoodwink plummeting to the ground, Fable stood up on his hind hooves and ran around trying to get into a catching position. She collided into him, knocking him back several feet.
“Ouch…” Fable groaned, “Hoodwink, next time... do ya think ya could fall a lil’ slower?”
“Oh shut up. He got away!” Hoodwink got off Fable.
“But we got his pardners and I caught the cider, most of them made it. And ya sure gave him a fight. I didn’t know ya had that in ya.” He punched her shoulder.
“Ow…but I suppose you have a point. I did cut off a good part of his ear too. He’s going to want to have that mended and the only doctor in about a hundred miles is here in Appleloosa. He can’t get very far.” She said rubbing her shoulder. “And if he wants to see his friends again, he’ll have to go through me.” She stomped her hoof. “Nopony calls me a hag and gets away with it.”

A 'Friendly' Interrogation

Back at the house, the two wet and grumpy pals walked to see Appletini shaking in the corner holding a frying pan in her hooves with the other two unconscious pegasi thieves still on the floor.

Fable rushed over to comfort the poor thing, “What’s the matter honey pie? Did these awful ponies do something’ to ya?”

“Th...th...they almost got up…” she studdered.

“Oh brother” Hoodwink put her hoof on her forehead.

Suddenly the stallion began to stir. Before Hoodwink or Fable could do anything, Appletini slung the frying pan, hitting him square on the head, leaving another, of many, bumps. Fable and Hoodwink had a good laugh at the two’s expense. Giggles aside, Fable went outside, got some rope from his shed, and began to tie the two burglars to chairs.

“How should we wake ‘em up?” Fable said, waving his hoof in front of one of their faces, getting no response.

“Hm…” Hoodwink walked up to the stallion thief and began to look him over.

She raised a hoof and smacked him across the face. No response.

“Well, I’m out of ideas.” She shrugged, but then she quickly galloped out of the room and came back with a marker.

“No, Hoody.. Just…No…” Fable face hoofed.

“Dammit…” she said throwing the marker into the next room. “Well, there is another way I can think of.”

“Does it have to do with more markers, duct tape, cuttin’ and or shavin’ manes, or doin’ anythin’ embarrassin’ to ‘em?” Fable gave her a questioning look.

“No…” she said nervously.

He raised an eyebrow.

“*sigh*…Yes…Well, I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas?” she whined.

“In fact Ah’ do, thank ya very much missy.” He trotted over to the kitchen sink.

He came back with a bucket of water.

“Erf er ern’t ind takin dis ou o mer outh.” He said with the handle still in his mouth.

“What?” she stared at him blankly.

He rolled his eyes and lowered his head, putting the bucket on the floor. He turned off the lights. “Never mind. Just pour this on our guests here.”

“Gladly.” She smiled.

SPLASH!

“*cough cough* What the hell! Where are we!” the stallion choked.

Hoodwink shined a bright light in their faces.

“The question is why not where. Who the hell are you and why are you here?” Hoodwink ordered, pressing the tip of her sword to his throat.

“Who’s asking?” the mare hissed.

“The pony ya nearly robbed.” Fable pressed.

“We don’t have to tell you anything.” She tried to kick Fable, but still blinded, she only wildly rocked her chair.

Before the chair fell back onto the hard tile floor, Hoodwink caught her in telekinesis. She dimmed down the light from her horn allowing them to see the ponies holding them up.

“I would answer our questions, or I will personally kick your ass into a stone cold prison in the Badlands.” Hoodwink threatened before throwing the chair down to the floor.

Fable began to get her off the floor.

“Pfft you guard are just a big joke.” She mocked.

Fable let her fall back to the floor. He stomped his hoof near her face, cracking the wooden chair on contact.

“Ah’ would watch yer tongue in front of a Lunar Corporal and a retired Solar Captain ya jackass.” He lowered his head to make it clear to her.

She spat on his muzzle, “You’re not getting anything out of me.”

He rubbed off the spit from his nose and looked at Hoodwink. She nodded. He brought down his mighty hoof down on the mare’s forehead, knocking her out cold, leaving a nice hoof imprint on her gray coat. The stallion looked in shock at her. Hoodwink pressed the tip of her sword a bit harder into his throat.

“Now if ya don’t wanted end up like yer mare friend here. Ah’ would spill the beans.” Fable threatened.

He nodded looking at his victims turned captors.

“Now who are you?” Hoodwink demanded.

“My name is Shimmy and she is or *gulp* was Shammy…” He nervously down at his companion, thinking of the worse.
“Shimmy and Shammy?” Hoodwink thought. She looked at the two scumbags in front of her. Both had silvery gray coats, deep navy blue manes, and if the mare wasn’t unconscious, she would probably have sky blue eyes too. He had sixteenth note and a pair of dancing shoe for a cutie mark and she had a sixteenth note and a theatre mask for a cutie mark.

“Ya’ll twin’s?” Fable questioned.

“Yes, I…I mean no. We’re triplets, but…” he just noticed the third crook wasn’t there.

“Yer brother ain’t here, and if Ah’ were ya, ya’ll tell us where he is and fast. Before mah pardner loses her patience.” Fable glared at him.

“My brother is named Scammy,” he started.

“Wow… Their parents must have REALLY hated them.” Hoodwink was unimpressed.

“And he probably went back to the camp we had set up.” He gulped.

“Scammy?… Ah’ think Ah’ know that name?” Appletini faintly said.

Fable and Hoodwink spun around seeing the mare standing at the kitchen doorway.

“Honey pie?! Why are ya still up?” Fable asked shocked.

“Ah’…ah’… Ah’ couldn’t sleep and Ah’ heard the ruckus. Ah’ wanted to make sure ya’ll were alright.” She got closer saw the unconsiuos Shammy and how Hoodwink had her sword to Shimmy’s throat, “But clearly not everypony is right as rain.”

She got closer to the stallion and looked at him. Hoodwink backed off and let her have a better look. Her eyes brightened up. “Yer one of them famous Shimmy Shammy Scammy Triplets!”

“FAMOUS!!!” Hoodwink and Fable’s jaws dropped.

“Well, now it’s more like infamous…” Shimmy’s ears drooped and eyes go to the floor.

“Really? What happened?” Appletini questioned.

“Wait how the hell do ya know these scumbags?” Fable demanded.

“Ah’ meet them when Ah’ was at bartendin’ school in Manehattan. They were stage performers and really good ones too. They danced and singed. They were amazin’! Ah’ met Scammy one day behind stage with drinks for them. He was quite a charmer and knew his way with words.” She went on.

Fable gave her a real stern glare.

“Oh honey, this was way before Ah’ met ya and it didn’t go anywhere, just a bit of flirtin’ is all. Ah’ don’t know whatever happened after Ah’ graduated and came back home, later meetin’ ya’ sweetie. They seemed to have a great path to stardom. Whatever happened to cause ya’ll to steal Shimmy?” She looked at Shimmy with sad eyes.

“It was all for fun, and we had the talent. We were going places. But then Scammy got a bit, greedy… He convinced Shammy to start pit pocketing from the richer members of our audience. She got really good at it too, but then she got really cocky…” he looked down at his sister with sorrowful eyes. “We were run out of town. Forced to stoop down to mediocre street performances. I hated it, we had it made before we started stealing. Soon, ponies caught on who we were and learned what we looked like. We could no longer perform without being booed at, hissed at and kicked out of everywhere we went. We had to steal to eat and live. I just want to go back…” he began to sob.

Appletini gave Fable a sorrowful look, he responded with shaking his head. She then gave him a fierce glare. He cowered under his wife stare and began to untie the weeping stallion. He fell out of the chair into Appletini’s embrace.
“There, there. Shhh… It will be all right. Nopony here will hurt you anymore,” She looked over at Hoodwink and Fable, giving them a death glare. Hoodwink just wanted to curl up inside of her armor to shield her from her merciless eyes, but she knew even her armor would not protect her from Appletini’s eye draggers.

Let's Shimmy

The ponies now sat down on the couch, except for Shammy whom was still knocked out and now hog-tied, lying on the floor. They listened to how Scammy had become abusive and threatened his sibling’s lives if they did not follow his orders and how Shammy had been corrupted too, leaving Shimmy feeling alone and living in constant fear of his own brother and sister.

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” Hoodwink put her hoof on his shoulder.

“Yeah… I regret everything I have done and I know I must pay for it.” He said sipping on a mug of tea. “I will do everything in my power to help you catch Scammy. I don’t want him flying around, hurting other ponies.”

“That’s wonderful to hear Shimmy! I’ll be sure to do everything in my power to lower your sentence.” Hoodwink pat him on the back.

“We need to get that jack ass now! He needs to pay for what he has done to you and your sister.” Fable jumped off the couch and stomped his hooves on the floor.

The loud thud from his stomp woke up Shammy. Her eyes fluttered open and tried to figure out how what was going on. When she looked around, she saw Fable standing nearby her and her brother sitting on the couch with Appletini and Hoodwink sitting to his sides sipping tea.

“Why you little apple bucker… What the hell did you tell them…” she growled as she still tried to retain conscious.

Shimmy got up and walked over to his sister.

“I told them everything Shammy. And we’re going to jail, just as soon as I bring Corporal Hoodwink to Scammy.”

“How dare you betray Scammy and me! Our own flesh and blood!” Shammy hissed.

“No, you betrayed me when you began to steal from other ponies. You and Scammy have no hope to go back to the good old days. But I, I have a chance. I hope you rot in prison.” He said.

He raised his hoof over her head and stared deep into her eyes. Nothing but rage and hatred lied behind those sky blue eyes. He then slammed his hoof down onto her head. Shammy lay there motionlessly, only faintly breathing.

“Let’s go.” He said walking towards the door.

Hoodwink got up and put on her helmet. Fable hurried up stairs and came back wearing his old armor and went to grab his axe and some more rope.

“Will ya’ be alright here alone, honey pie?” Fable asked Appletini.

“Ah’ll be fine, Ah’ have mah fryin pan if she becomes unruly. Be safe and bring in that dirt bag.” She kissed him on the nose.

“Sorry to break you two up but the sooner we leave the sooner we can beat Scammy to a pulp.” Hoodwink popped her head into the room.

They head out into the rain, ready to bring justice for their new companion. Shimmy flew ahead, leading the way to the camp, about twenty miles outside the North of Appleloosa. After about a couple hours of traveling, they could see a faint flame from a campfire, under what looked like a tarp. There was a shadowy figure sitting beside it. Suddenly it turned its head and saw the light from Hoodwink’s horn. It pulled the tarp away and let the rain put it out.

“Hoodwink, ya take the left and Ah’ll take the right, Shimmy, fly over and make sure he doesn’t try anythin’. He won’t be able to get away.” Fable ordered.

“Sir yes sir.” Hoodwink responded before running to the side.

“Got it.” Shimmy called down.

As they closed in on Scammy, a flash of lightning shot across the sky. Hoodwink could see ear she had cut and where the blood that trickled down his face.

“I know you’re out there pretty lady. You and your colt friend won’t be able to touch me this time.” He taunted.

Another streak of lightning alerts him to Hooodwink about 20 yards away. He charged at her. Suddenly, Shimmy landed directly in between the two only mere feet from Hoodwink. Scammy was knocked back by the suddenly collision. Shimmy slide back into Hoodwink and lost his balance for a second. Hoodwink helped him back up to his hooves and unsheathed her sword.

Shimmy put his hoof over Hoodwink, “No this is my fight.”

“Shimmy! What the hell! You turned on us?!” Scammy said getting up.

“No! You betrayed us! We were on the road to a good life! But no! You had to become greedy and made us steal from innocent ponies! You couldn’t have waited for a fortune. You wanted it right then without working for it! Now look where you are! And you just had to screw us over along with you! You threatened us, your own siblings! You made us live in fear, you made Shammy change. We did everything you told us to do because we feared you! You bucked everything up and just had to take it out on us and used us as pawns of your games! You were no longer our brother! Now it’s time to face your crimes! You are going to rot in jail for a long time!” Shimmy scolded him.

“Buck you jack ass! I did all of this for you and her! I wanted the best for you!” Scammy began to scream.

“By dragging us down with you into a life of crime! No! We had it made without you messing everything up!” Shimmy screamed.

They kept screaming at each and stomped towards each other, ruffling their feathers. Soon they were face to face, looking into each other’s eyes. Tensions sparked between the two as they butt heads. Scammy finally threw the first punch, hitting Shimmy square in the jaw. He then tried to escape, but Shimmy dashed right after him. A flurry of punching and bucking set feathers flying through the air. The two earth bound ponies watched in awe at the intensity of their aerial battle. They began ramming into each other trying to knock the other out of the air. After what seemed to be an eternity of swearing at and colliding with each other, the two both knock each other to the ground. Hoodwink and Fable caught Shimmy but Scammy fell hard onto the cold, hard, wet earth. They were bleeding, panting, and shaking in pain. It was now just a stare down, both too proud to sub come defeat.
“I hope you burn in Tartarus, you bucking jack ass,” Scammy gave one last insult before passing out.

A slight smile appeared across Shimmy’s face before he faints, going limp in Hoodwink’s and Fable’s hooves.

Jailhouse Justice

In the Appleloosan jailhouse, the bloody and busted Shimmy laid on the cold floor of his cell waiting for word from Hoodwink. His brother and sister were in the cell next to him. Shammy leaned against the iron bars and stared at him almost drunkenly whilst Scammy lay on their mattress, writhing in pain. He tried to ignore them and just looked outside of the cells, where Appletini sat down a bench staring at the ground and Fable Stable was pacing back and forth. The clickty-clacking from his hooves broke the silence and increased in speed as seconds turned to minutes turned to hours. As dawn slowly creeped upon them, their hopes of Shimmy’s sentence being reduced dwindled as Celestia’s life giving sunlight poured into the room.

Suddenly, the doors leading to the courtroom swung open. A tired Hoodwink trudged in, dark circles around her eyes. Silence swept the room as she stood, swaying back and forth from exhaustion, the news laying behind her lips. As she opened her mouth to speak, her friends watched intently, waiting for the bad or good news.

“I…am not good…with talking up judges, let alone convincing one in the late hours of the night to reduce a sentence…” she started.

Shimmy’s heart dropped, his chances of surviving living in the same prison with his siblings were little none now.

“But somehow…I warmed him up to the idea...and he shortened your sentence to 4 months and two hundred hours of community service.” She said giving Shimmy a faint smile.

She walked over to Shammy and Scammy’s cell, her smile turning to a scowl.

“And as for you two…” she started, her scowl morphing into a menacing grin, “You two are taking a little vacation.”

Shammy spat at the tired officer’s hooves, “Oh yeah? Where to? The Bahamares?”

“Lovely, but my shoes don’t need shining…” she flung the saliva back into Shammy’s face, “No, as soon as we get word from my superiors, you’re coming with me to the Badlands. It’ll be so fun to visit in your new cell everyday of your two year sentence with no parole.”

Shammy got up and looked Hoodwink in her eyes, a smile across her face, “Hehehe, when we get out, what’s keeping us from finding that sorry excuse of a brother?”

Hoodwink threw back her head and laughed. She then took out a paper and began reading it aloud. “Let me see here… Time of sentence… Blah blah blah… AH! Here. Along with a shortened sentence, Mister Shimmy has been awarded with a restraining order.” She pulled out another paper, “This to be exact. Also since these cells are too close together, these lovely ponies are going to take Shimmy under their watchful eyes and get him started on his community service.”

Hoodwink stumbled over to sheriff’s desk and got the keys. She unlock Shimmy’s cell.

“Let’s go Shimmy, I want to go to sleep.” She yawned.

He slowly got off the bed and struggled to walk out of the cell. Out of the cell he began to trip over himself.

“Woah there pardner, I got ya.” Fable said lifting him onto his back.

They began trekking back to Fable and Appletini’s home to get some sleep

A Brand New Step To His Shimmy

Several months later, Hoodwink was back on leave and decided to stop by to see how Shimmy was doing. When she got into town, many ponies were in the saloon. When she got closer, she could hear a sweet melody was flowing from the inside. As she walked through the door, she saw Shimmy singing and dancing on a new small stage, probably built by Fable. He was so light on his feet and had a fabulous voice. Appletini was not kidding. He was a very talented stallion. She went to the bar and took a sit. Appletini looked up from whatever concoction she was mixing and saw her.

“Oh howdy Hoodwink, what brings ya’ll round these parts?” she smiled with glee.

“Oh just passing through, I’m heading to Canterlot to spend some time with Chiselette, Eclipse, and the rest of the gang. I thought I should see how you two were handling Shimmy. I didn’t know he was that talented though!” Hoodwink explained.

“Yes sir, he’s just a gem, ain’t he?” Appletini said before they looked over to watch the stallion sing and dance with all his heart.