Lyra Screws Up Big Time

by Summer Dancer

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Dark, Comedy
Length: 13443

Things go from bad to worse when Lyra's new boss...whom she hates...is found dead in his office. And Lyra's DNA is all over the crime scene.

Things go from bad to worse when Lyra's New boss…whom she hates…Is found dead in his office. And Lyra's DNA is all over the crime scene.

Now its a race against time to find the real culprit before the investigators trace the DNA to Lyra. With the help of her friends, can Lyra prove her innocence before its too late?

This is based off an episode from one of my favorite TV shows, which is called Psych. (Where are my psychos out there?) This also takes place during the episode Trade Ya.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-21 23:07:09 UTC

Oh, Bon Bon!

Tap Tap Tap!

Bon Bon sleeps in her bed, dreaming of lollipops and jawbreakers.

Tap Tap Tap!

Bon Bon starts awake, gasping. The constant tapping on her bedroom window was relentless. Annoyed, she threw her blanket off her and walked grudgingly to the window. She pulled away the curtains to reveal her roommate, Lyra Heartstrings, covered with dirt, frantically tapping on the glass. “Lyra?” Bon Bon whispered in disbelief. “What in Equestria…” Lyra kept tapping, her expression frantic.  Bon Bon immediately opened the window.

“I screwed up, Bon Bon!” Lyra wailed.

“Shh!” Bon Bon hissed. “Do you want to wake up all of Ponyville? What are you doing out here?”

Lyra shook her head rapidly with tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s bad, Bon Bon,” The unicorn whispered. “It’s really, really, really bad!” She hiccupped. “I’m freaking out! Oh, Bon Bon, I’m gonna cry!”

Bon Bon’s expression softened a bit. “Lyra…no. Don’t cry. Be a big pony, now.” Lyra stopped shedding tears, but they still welled up in her eyes. BonBon sighed. “Good.” She then looked sternly at her roommate. “Now get back in this house this instant!” Lyra gulped, and went all the way around towards the front door. Bon Bon sighed again. She closed her window, and went into the living room to let her friend in. When she opened the door, Lyra was sobbing again. Bon Bon quickly ushered her in and closed the door behind them. “Don’t touch anything!” Bon Bon warned. “You’re positively filthy!”

“I Know!” Lyra sobbed.  Bon Bon shook her head slowly, taking in her friend all at once. She was covered with dirt from top to bottom, her mane was disheveled, and her face was streaked with tears.

“Lyra… what happened to you?” Bonbon asked.

Lyra took a few deep breaths. “Okay…okay… you know that new job I got hired for?”

Bonbon nodded. “Yeah?”

Lyra took another deep breath. She looked the Earth pony straight in the eye. “It all started this morning. At work…”

“For the nth time!”  The business Stallion yelled at his small secretary. “What do I take in my coffee?”  The small mare swallowed, and spoke hesitantly.

“Two creams… three sugars.” The Stallion’s face reddened.

“No!” he yelled. “Two cream, three Sweet’N Low, you mousy imbecile twit!” He threw the sugar wrappers at the mare. Nearby, Lyra and her friend Paper Clip were drinking coffee of their own, watching the whole scene with disapproving glances.

“Can you believe him?” Lyra said angrily. “Who does he think he is, talking to her that way?”

Paper shook his head. “You know Creech is a total jerk,” He said, looking at her. Lyra nodded. Mr. Creech kept yelling at his secretary. “Should we say something to him?” She asked.

Paper scoffed. “Are you kidding me?” He snorted. Then his expression turned dark, looking almost comical. “I fantasize about killing that pony every day.” Lyra gave him a strange look.

“I would love that, okay?” Creech bellowed. He grunted and started walking toward his office, but stopped turned around. “And I don’t open my own mail! You do!” With that, he threw a stapler at the secretary. She gasps and dodges the flying object just in time. That did it. Lyra slammed her coffee cup down on top of the desk she was standing by with her magic.

“Creech!” She yelled. “That is ENOUGH!”  Everyone in the office gasped and stood up from their cubicles to get a good look at the enraged unicorn. Nopony had spoken to their boss like that before! Creech spun around and looked at Lyra with his eyebrows raised.

“Excuse you?” He said, slowly walking toward her, as if asking her for a challenge. The entire office was silent, and all of the ponies looked at each other uneasily. Lyra looked around the room and swallowed. There was no backing out now.

“Uh… you heard me!” Lyra said loudly, hoping that she sounded confident.

Creech looked overly confused. “I don’t even know you, do you work here?”

Lyra paused, and then raised her head. “I’m Lyra Heartstrings,” she said almost threateningly. She started walking towards the Stallion, adding a strut to her step. “And that is a pony you are yelling at. Her name is Blossomforth.” She walked up to Creech and looked up at him fiercely. “And she’s not just your assistant,” She continued. “She is a living breathing hu- pony being!” A short Stallion nearby sat at his desk and admiringly gazed at the Unicorn. “So you can’t just talk to her that way!” Lyra rambled on. “Not as long as I have something to say about it.”

“Whoa,” Bon Bon murmured. “You actually said that out loud?”

Lyra nodded vigorously. “I did,” She sniffled. “I did! I wish it ended there… but it doesn't.”  Bon Bon looked at her with intrigue.

Creech scoffed at the tiny unicorn. “Well, guess what?” he said patronizingly. “You have nothing to say about it. Because I’m your boss, and you’re nothing but a scared, weak, pathetic peon, who can’t even sit in her chair correctly.”  Lyra blinked and bit her lip, but she stood her ground. Creech waved his hoof at her, as if shooing away a foal. “Run along now.” He said. He then turned, and walked into his office. The rest of the ponies went back to work. Lyra sighed. She wanted to tell him off, but she thought better of it. She didn’t want to get fired. Blossomforth smiled at Lyra gratefully. The Unicorn relaxed and smiled back.

She walked over to her desk space, ready to get the afternoon over with. But Creech had other plans. “Blossomforth, GET IN HERE!” He screamed. The window to his office showed him towering over the poor Pegasus. “What happened to the Las Pegasus email?”

“I sent it.”

“WHERE did you send it? To the wrong company! You’re useless!”

Lyra scowled and using her magic, she grabbed a small piece of paper, and scribbled

Ur a jerk! I quit!!!

Drop Dead…

Truly,

Lyra Heartstrings

:D

Pleased of what she had done, she put the small piece of paper and put it inside of an envelope. She walked to the door of her office space where the mail pony pulling a cart waited for her. Lyra handed over the envelope. “Take this to Creech’s office.” She said coolly. The mail pony gave a firm nod and walked off with his cart. Lyra watched him go, with a tough look on her face.

Bon Bon grinned wildly “What?” she jeered in a high pitched voice. “Right on, girly, right on! I didn’t know you had it in you!”

Lyra shook her head. “No, not right on, Bon Bon! Not at all right on!” She attempted to go into the kitchen to clean herself up, but Bon Bon held her back.

“Wait, get back over here!” Bon Bon said. She bopped her friend on the nose. “I’m proud of you. And not for just standing up for that girl, but for sticking it to your boss on your own behalf!” Lyra shook her head again, looking like she was about to cry. Bon Bon continued. “To be honest, I didn’t even realize you still worked there, but it takes an enormous amount of guts to stand up and quit like that!”

“No!” Lyra whimpered. “I don’t know what I was thinking, Bon Bon! I need that job, we have bills! Massive bills! Now we’re down to about half!” Bon Bon was silent for a moment, the realization slowly dawning on her. Bon Bon glared at her roommate. “Lyra!” She hissed.

“How could you be so selfish?”

“What?”

“That’s the most irresponsible thing you could’ve done!”

“Will you let me finish my story?”

BonBon clicked her tongue. “Well, hurry it up then!” Lyra nodded. “Okay.”

It was night. Lyra wandered into the office, looking over her shoulder. *I heard footsteps. At the time, I was thinking that Creech was burning the midnight oil and be still there. I could apologize.** Lyra cautiously walked in to Creech’s office. She was surprised to see her former boss slumped over in his chair. As she got closer, she realized that something was terribly wrong. She gasped in horror.*

“He was dead, BonBon.” The earth pony stared at Lyra in disbelief. Lyra nodded. “Totally… dead…. stabbed to death!”

BonBon swallowed hard. “Stabbed to death?” She repeated in a tiny whisper. Lyra nodded once more. “Yes.” She whispered back. BonBon contemplated this for a second, and raised an eyebrow at the Unicorn.

“Did you kill him?” She asked succinctly. Lyra looked astonished. “What? No! Of course I didn't kill him, what’s the matter with you?!”

“Well, did you call the police?”

“I was going to.” She leaned forward slightly. “But then something happened.”

BonBon’s eyebrows knitted together. “What do you mean, something happened?” Lyra’s eyes started to well up again. “Lyra,” BonBon whispered loudly. “What did you do? You got out of there, right? You got out of there, and you didn’t touch anything, right?” Lyra mumbled something and started whimpering again.

Lyra kept staring at her deceased boss in shock and disbelief. *I was gonna leave, but then I saw the note I wrote to Creech still in his hoof!** Lyra leaned over her boss and tried to pry his hoof open, so that she could get to the note. She yanked and pulled, until finally, his hoof opened, and Lyra grabbed the note victoriously. Then she crumbled it up, put it in her mouth, and began to chew.*

“You ate the note!?” Bon Bon yelled incredulously.

“I panicked, Bonbon!” Lyra cried. “There was no place else to put it! I didn’t know what to do!”

Bon Bon waved her hooves in the air. “All right, all right!” She managed to calm herself down, and took a deep breath. “All right. So you did that. But then you walked out of there, you walked out without touching anything else, am I right?” Lyra whimpered again.

After trying to swallow the note, Lyra started coughing. The note was stuck in her throat. She started wheezing and gagging. Panicked, Lyra ran over to the small table to her right, and grabbed a pitcher of water with her hooves and tried to drink it. However, she couldn’t, hand she spit out the water, coughing and choking. Lyra hunched over, and stumbled backwards and crashed into a tree plant, spilling dirt all over the floor and herself, and knocking her boss down from the chair.

Bon Bon shook her head slowly, feeling like she was going numb. “Is that… is that everything?” She asked quietly. Lyra wailed in shame.

Lyra crawled across the floor, and made her way to a fish tank. She stood up, and dunked her head inside, swallowing as much water as possible. The paper finally went down her throat. Relieved, Lyra tried to clean up the mess she had made, accidentally crashing into objects, and knocking them over in the process. The whole office was littered in dirt, papers, and furniture, all knocked over by her. Lyra hunched over a desk, and started to cry. She started to run, but tripped over her boss, landing on top of him. Wailing and shrieking, she crawled off him, and ran out of the office at top speed.

Lyra sobbed uncontrollably. Bon Bon reached out a hoof to her. “Alright, calm down. Hey hey, calm down!” Lyra didn’t stop crying. Bon Bon placed a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’re making this sound worse than it actually was.” She said soothingly.

Lyra shook her head. “No, Bon Bon,” She wept.

Bon Bon looked Lyra straight in the eye. “Look at me, Lyra.” Lyra paused and glanced at her friend. Bon Bon smiled slightly. “We are in this together. Just like we always are, you and me.” Lyra hiccupped and nodded. Bon Bon continued. “Now, I’m gonna get some coffee, and then we’re gonna go down there together, and we’re gonna look at this together, okay?”

Lyra wiped away a tear. “You… you would do that?” She sniffled.

Bon Bon smiled. “Of course, Lyra. You’re my best friend. You may be a goofball, but you’re my goofball. We’re gonna make it Kosher.”

“O-okay.”

“And what does that mean?”

“T-the meats and cheeses (Sniff) they’re not gonna touch!”

“That’s right, they’re not gonna touch,” Bon Bon confirmed. “They’re not gonna touch. You stay here, I’ll be right back.” Lyra sniffled nodded as Bonbon went to the kitchen to make coffee.

Later that night, Lyra and Bon Bon arrived at the scene of the crime. Bon Bon’s jaw dropped. “Oh my…”

Lyra nodded. “Yeah.”

Bon Bon cautiously walked into the office. “Lyra, I think you might have actually undersold this thing.” She took a look around the room and turned back to Lyra.  “You didn’t kill this guy, did you?”

“No!”

“All right,” Bon Bon sighed. “Well, at least you’ve got innocence on your side.”

“What?”

“I think we should call the police, and let the chips fall where they may.”

Lyra scowled. “You’re talking crazy right now, Bon Bon. I won’t get the benefit of the doubt! Not in a case like this! I don’t wanna rot in a cell!”

Bonbon smirked. “Aw, come on, Lyra,” she said playfully. “You know I’m gonna bake you a cake with a weapon in it.”

Lyra pouted. “You said the meat and cheese are not gonna touch, Bon Bon! Well, they’re touching right now!” Lyra started poking Bon Bon repeatedly. “They’re touching right now!”

Bon Bon pushed Lyra back. “Don’t poke me!” She turned and tripped over a fallen plant, crashing to the floor. “Oh no!” She wailed.

“Bon Bon!” Lyra gasped.

Bon Bon stood up, disgusted. “Now I’m all dirty!” She moaned.

Lyra’s eyes widened. “Bon Bon,” She whispered. “Your nose, it’s bleeding!”

Bonbon gasped. “What? A-CHOO!!!”  Bon Bon sneezed. Both mares were silent for a few seconds. Lyra started to whimper again.

***

Somepony was banging on the door. Curious, Octavia made her way to the living room. Who could that be at four in the morning? She thought. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find Lyra and Bon Bon, both looking miserable and covered with dirt. Bon Bon sniffed. “Octavia, we really, really really screwed up!”

Hoof Prints

“Listen, girls, everything is going to be okay,” Octavia assured the two distraught mares. All of them were in the kitchen, with Lyra and Bon Bon slumped in the chairs. “As long as you didn't tamper with the crime scene,” Octavia added.  Both Lyra and Bon Bon’s faces turned white. Octavia look back and forth between the two ponies and narrowed her eyes. “You didn't tamper with the crime scene, did you?” Both mares were silent. Octavia leaned towards Lyra’s face, but she refused to look her in the eye. “Did you?” Octavia pressed. Lyra whimpered and put her face in her hooves.

Lyra wiped all of the tables with cleaning supplies and Bon Bon vacuumed all of the dirt. Lyra then used her magic to put all of the papers and trash into a few garbage bags. When all was cleaned up, both mares put Creech back into his chair, only to have him fall down again.

Octavia straightened up and groaned. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” she sighed. “But we’re going to have to go back in there and assess the situation. I have to see this for myself.”

That morning, the three mares stepped out of the elevator and into the hall. Both Lyra and Bon Bon were now cleaned up. When they looked towards the direction of Mr. Creech’s office, they were dismayed to discover that the area was crawling with police.  Lyra gasped, and ran back into the elevator rapidly pressing the buttons. Octavia quickly ran after her and dragged her out. “No, no, Octavia, nooooo!” Lyra wailed. The musician ignored her, and dragged her back beside Bon Bon.

“That’s it,” Octavia hissed. “You are going to come clean!”

Bon Bon rapidly shook her head. “No, no, no, Octavia, we can’t do that!”

Octavia scowled. “This is not a discussion!”

“Hey!”

The trio turned to see their friend Carrot Top walking over to them. “What are you guys doing here?” She asked. Bon Bon mentally kicked herself. Carrot Top was a part time detective for the Ponyville Police. How could she have forgotten something so important?

Octavia swallowed. “Um, Carrot Top, there’s something that—“

“We would like to give to you!” Bon Bon interrupted. “It… it is a small gift… but it’ll have to wait, because…” She turned to the crime scene, and her mouth hung wide open. “What is going on here?” She said over-dramatically.

Carrot Top looked over her shoulder and turned back to her friends. “Oh, that. Well…Lyra, since you work here, I guess you have a right to know. Come on.” The girls follow Carrot Top to Creech’s office, all fully aware of what they would find.

Octavia rushed up to Carrot Top’s side. “Carrot, a moment of your time,” she panted. “I think the girls… would like to tell you--“

“WHAT?” Lyra gasped loudly. She rushed ahead and looked through the window of her Boss’s office where Creech’s body was in plain view. “Dusty Creech is dead?!” Bon Bon and Octavia rolled their eyes. “Oh no,” Lyra moaned, almost mockingly. “Oh no. Oh no!” She turned back to her friends to get their reaction. “Oh…” Bon Bon and Octavia shook their heads slightly. Carrot Top looked confused. “…No.” Lyra finished subtly.

Carrot Top’s eyebrows furrowed. “You work on this floor?”

Lyra nodded. “Yes… he was my boss.” She turned her head to look at Creech again. “Life is so fleeting,” She said with a trembling lip. “One day you see a pony alive…yesterday…and then today without seeing him at all in between…he’s dead.” She faked a sniffle. “Hark, the herald angles.”

“Wow,” Bon Bon said flatly. “I’m sure his family would appreciate this heartfelt and descriptive tribute.” Lyra put her hooves up defensively.

Carrot Top turned to Bon Bon. “What happened to you last night? I called to see if you were still up, but it went to the answering machine.” Both Bon Bon and Carrot Top often had trouble sleeping at night, so they usually talked on the phone to keep each other company.

Bon Bon thought fast. “That’s a good question,” she said with a nod. “I disappeared. I had to take Tavi here…” She put a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder. “…I had to take her to the hospital… because she was having severe chest pains and delusional memory loss, not to mention a Charlie-horse.” Carrot Top gasped. Bon Bon gripped the musician by the shoulders. “Tavi, it’s me,” She said loudly. “It’s Bon Bon, don’t you remember?”

Octavia shook her off. “That is ENOUGH!” She shouted furiously. She turned to Carrot Top.

“Carrot, there’s something the girls aren’t—“

“Miss?” A police officer came out of nowhere and placed a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder. “Your face is beet red, and your brow’s abnormally sweaty.” He said earnestly.

Octavia blinked and wiped her eyebrows with her hoof. She turned to look at the others. “Are they sweaty?”

Bon Bon nodded. “It is very sweaty.”

The Police officer nodded and began to drag Octavia away. “Yeah, your friend’s right, you should come with me.”

Octavia shook her head and tried to drag her hooves on the floor, but to no avail. “No, wait! Bon Bon!” she yelled, as she was pulled into the office.

“Go with him, sweetie,” Bon Bon called soothingly. “Put your head between your knees!” Carrot Top scurried in after them. Lyra looked at Bon Bon with a flat expression on her face. The earth pony merely giggled.

“Allright, our victim has multiple stab wounds to the back,” A detective named Canine Lassiter stated. “Whoever we are dealing with… they are and expert.” He looked around the room. “The scene has been wiped clean as a whistle.”

Lyra and Bon Bon did a subtle hoof-bump.

“Very little evidence of foul play,” the detective continued. He walked over to where Creech lay. “Also note the victim’s socks have been removed, but the shoes are still on. Could be some sort of sicko murder ritual.”

Lyra and Bon Bon glanced at each other.

Lyra and Bon Bon cleaned the area where Creech lay mercilessly. “Your blood is still on his socks!” Lyra screamed over the sound of the vacuum. They quickly pulled the socks from his feet. “Oh no, Oh no…”  Lyra sobbed.

Both mares stared straight ahead.

“We’re going to keep this hush hush,” Lassiter added.  “Princess Twilight and the other bearers of harmony are away on business at Rainbow Falls, and we don’t want to cause a panic.”

“Detective,” a unicorn said, entering the room. He was bald, but he had hair on the sides. He was also a bit on the short side, and a little pudgy. He also wore a suit. “Don’t let me interrupt; I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Leslie Sally, head of security, Ponyville Pharmaceuticals."

Lassiter’s eyebrows furrowed. “You said you name was Leslie Sally?”

“Leslie Valerie Sally, yes.”

Lassiter smirked. “Well, uh Sally, this is sort of Adult Swim type of situation, so why don’t you and your blazer run along and solve the mystery of, I don’t know…” He pointed to a pony outside of the office. “Who stole Blackberry’s lunch?”

Lyra leaned her head toward Bon Bon. “I stole Blackberry’s lunch, Bon Bon!” She whispered.

“Well, let’s bag and tag everything on this desk.” Lassiter said.

“Sorry detective,” Sally said. “You may have noticed a slight trill in my voice. I have a minor fear of speaking in public, but I wanted to note that each executive office is issued a waste basket with a liner.” He pointed to a nearby wastebasket at the desk. “That liner is missing.”

Lassiter looked at the waste basket and smiled. “Gosh!” he exclaimed. “That is a great tip, junior “G” pony!”

Bon Bon, however, was looking at a broken vase from across the room. “Lyra,” she whispered. “That vase wasn’t broken when we left.”

Bon Bon carefully placed the vase on the round table before exiting the office. “Let’s go, Lyra!”

Lyra’s eyes widen in realization.

“Detective?” Sally repeated.

Lassiter whirled around. “Why are you still here?”

Sally pointed at Creech’s body. ”You might wanna check the victim’s hoof,” he advised.  “He seems to be holding on to something.” Everyone looked at Creech’s hoof, which was tightly curled up, and looked back at Sally. He smiled. “Then again, this is my first murder case, what do I know?”

Detective Lassiter frowned. “I was gonna check the hoof.” He said defensively. Lyra and Bon Bon looked on in dismay as the detective pried a sliver of paper from Creech’s hoof. “Part of a note,” he said as he stood back up. He held it up, and tilted his head. “‘ R a Jer ‘… smiley face.” He read.

Bon Bon threw a sideways glare at Lyra, who looked in the other direction. Sally smiled smugly. “Beginner’s luck!” He grinned. “Detective, this morning on the way to work, I had a V8, which may account for how sharp I’ve been. I’ve also accounted for all 17 trash receptacles. Each one has its liner except one.” Everyone in the room hung on to every word. “Down the hall from this very office,” He smiled darkly. “And here’s the interesting thing. The trash has not been picked up from last night.”

Lassiter smirked. “Get out,” He said mockingly. “Are you sure your title isn’t Chief of Trash Receptacle Liners?”

Sally turned to address the room. “Perhaps you’d all like to join me in the hallway?”

Lassiter scoffed and wrote something down. “That’s not gonna happen Sally.” When he looked up, half the room had gone out into the hallway. “Hey!”

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other worriedly and followed everyone else out the door.

The police staff, lead by Sally walked down the hallway while Lyra and Bon Bon trailed behind. Sally pointed out a trail on the floor while following it. “Here, soda dropped from the bottom of the waste bag.” He turned a corner. “I believe the killer took this route to dispose of the trash.” Bon Bon gulped.

Lyra and Bon Bon dragged the huge bag of trash across the floor with effort. “This way, Bon Bon!” Lyra panted as they turned a corner. “This way, follow me!” Bon Bon felt like she was going to collapse any minute. “I-I don’t… this is so narrow!” She gasped.

“Lyra! Bon Bon!” Octavia hissed, trotting behind them. “This has got to stop! You guys have got come clean and turn yourselves in!”

“Shh!” Both mares said.

“Don’t make me take you back to the hospital,” Bon Bon warned. “You’re a part of this lie now too. Besides, none of us killed the guy.”

“You stole his socks!” Octavia cried. “What kind of sickos do that?!”

Lyra shook her head. “Octavia, your heart!” she sang.

Octavia’s face turned bright red. “Lyra, I will choke you out!” The three mares stopped walking.

“Octavia, calm down,” Bon Bon said. “Seriously, why do you wanna sound off alarm bells before Lyra and I had a chance to find out who did this?”

Lyra nodded. “Yeah, have a little faith in us!”

Octavia shook her head. “You know full well that’s too dangerous. Besides, you’re floundering. You don’t even have a suspect!”

Lyra thought hard.

Paper scoffed. “Are you kidding me?” He snorted. Then his expression turned dark, looking almost comical. “I fantasize about killing that pony every day.”

Lyra looked at her friends. “Oh, yes we do.” Later, the three friends caught up with the team of police in the parking lot.

“There,” Lassiter panted. “This is where the trail ends.” He looked around. “And our killer made his getaway.” He said with finality.

Bon Bon pretended to be upset. “Aw, that’s too bad. He got away clean as a whistle.”

Sally spoke up. “Nopony should be whistling just yet,” He said mysteriously. He pointed in the other direction. “This way, folks.” They all went about two carts down and went over to an empty space with a coffee cup holder on the ground. Both Lassiter and Sally crouched down to get a better look.

“It’s just a theory.” Sally said.

Lassiter pulled on his gloves. “Well, it’s not the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” He admitted.

Carrot Top shook her head. “What kind of a psychopath stabs a pony to death and then drinks a cup of coffee?”

Bon Bon blinked.

Bon Bon and Lyra ran through the parking lot while lugging the enormous bag of trash on their backs. “Pick it up, Lyra, come on!”  What Bon Bon failed to notice was that her coffee cup had slipped from her saddle sack, and hit the ground as they galloped off into the night.

Lyra threw an angry glance at Bon Bon. “With any luck, this bad boy will yield some prints.” Lassiter said, holding the cup.

Sally’s horn glowed. “Let’s have a look, shall we?” He shined a beam of light on the coffee cup, and hoof prints were all over it.

Lassiter grinned. “Well, looky there.” Octavia looked glanced at the two mares that were looking back at her with anxious expressions.

Octavia groaned inwardly. “Oh, don’t tell me.”

Bon Bon nodded. “That’s my mug.”

Honesty

“We have to find a way to fix this,” Bon Bon muttered later that day. She and Lyra had made their way down to the Ponyville Police station.

Lyra sighed sorrowfully as they walked through the station. “If we ever get out of this, I’m never working again!” she sulked.

“Don’t worry,” Bon Bon reassured her friend. "Maybe if we can get down to the coroner’s office before Carrot Top and Lassiter can, maybe we could get a better look at the body… maybe there’s something else that could give us a clue!”

Lyra nodded. “Maybe you’re right. They might not let us in, but it’s worth a shot.” The two mares sneaked their way down the stairs. They quickly noticed two metal double doors. This was obviously the coroner’s office. Lyra looked at Bon Bon, and hesitantly knocked on the door. When one of the doors opened, her jaw practically fell to the floor.

Bon Bon’s eyes widened. “Derpy?!” She gasped.

The blonde Pegasus gave them a huge smile. “Oh, hey guys! What’s up?” She asked cheerfully. She was wearing a white lab coat that was much too big for her. She was also wearing goggles that almost covered her entire face.

Lyra blinked rapidly, finally snapping out of her stupor. “Derpy? W-what are you doing here?”

Derpy smiled. “Oh, well you see, my cousin Woody’s wife had her baby early, so he asked me to take over for awhile.” She explained.”I’m actually helping Carrot Top and her friend with a case that had happened recently.” Her face scrunched up in a sad frown. “It’s really too bad.”  Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other in panic, and then looked behind Derpy. Sure enough, Carrot Top and Lassiter were in the room, standing over the body, talking with each other.

Bon Bon thought fast. “Well, Derpy, uh, we’re actually helping with this case,” she said quickly. “We need to take a look at the body for any more clues to help with the investigation.”

Derpy looked surprised. “I didn’t know you guys were in the secret agent business!” She exclaimed. “I don’t think I’m supposed to let civilians in, but you guys are cool. Come on in!” Lyra and Bon Bon grinned as they walked in. Things were looking up! For now…

Detective Lassiter looked up and eyed the two mares sharply. “What are you two doing? You’re not supposed to be in here.” Carrot Top looked even more confused. Both Lyra and Bon Bon had met Lassiter on occasion. Both knew how hard-core he was, and how much he stuck to the book.

“Don’t worry, they’re with me,” Derpy said. “They’re on professional business.” She stole a glance at Lyra and Bon Bon and gave them a less than discreet wink. Lassiter eyed them suspiciously. “O-kay,” he said. “As long as you stay out of our way, I don’t think we’ll have any problems.” Carrot Top raised a questioning eyebrow at her friends, who responded with wide grins. She shook her head, deciding to confront them about it later.

Derpy went to check up on something, and the detectives resumed conversing with one another. Lyra suddenly turned to Bon Bon. “Oh, I just remembered,” She whispered. “Paper Clip is out as a suspect. He was on the phone with his therapist when Creech was murdered. I verified it.” She gave a deep sigh. “Square one.” Bon Bon didn’t reply. “Bon Bon?”

“I don’t even like coffee,” the earth pony grumbled. “It’s just a thing ponies do. ‘Oh, I’ll put on a pot of coffee.’ Dang it.”  Derpy came back and looked at the body again, tickling Creech’s corpse with her wings.

Lyra shook her head. “Is this even legal?”

Bon Bon smirked. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

Derpy finally spoke. “A lot of acid build up in the esophageal gland,” she announced, mystifying the rest of the ponies. “That means he threw up…. really bad… before he died. Could be foul play.” She paused… “Or he could just be bulimic.” She looked around the group quickly. “Not that I’m bulimic. Yesterday, I ate a donut out of the garbage.”  Bon Bon and Lyra looked at each other. The detectives looked even more confused.

Lassiter was quick to recover. “So… there’s no evidence of vomit at the scene. The killer must’ve cleaned that up as well.” Lyra and Bon Bon glanced at each other again. They didn’t clean up any vomit what so ever. Unless…

Sally pointed to a nearby wastebasket at the desk. “That liner is missing.”

Derpy resumed examining the body. “The wounds are deep, but they’re narrow, smooth. Maybe it was an ice pick or something.”  Lyra’s eyes widened.

“And I don’t open my own mail! You do!” With that, he threw a stapler at the secretary. She gasps and dodges the flying object just in time. “Creech! That is ENOUGH!”

Lyra turned her head to look at Bon Bon. She was thinking the same thing. That wasn’t a stapler he threw at Blossomforth… it was a letter opener!

Bon Bon turned to the detectives. “Maybe it was a letter opener.” She suggested.

Lyra nodded. “Yes! Blossomforth. Creech’s assistant. He threw a letter opener at her yesterday morning!”

Detective Lassiter nodded slowly. “Alright, that’s something to go on. I’ll check out this Blossomforth. He started across the room. “Top, get that mug down to forensics, ASAP.”

Lyra gulped. “Uh, ASAP feels a little zealous!” she called out weakly. Detective Lassiter was already out the door. “Soonish would suffice!” she said quietly. Derpy left to go to the little filly’s room.

Bon Bon ran over to Carrot Top. “We gotta talk to you,” She started, but Carrot cut her off.

“What are you guys doing here? First Derpy’s a coroner, now you two are suddenly private eyes? What is going on here?”

Bon Bon chuckled nervously. “Yeah, um, remember when all of us had a little spat, and then we agreed to be more honest with each other as friends?”

Carrot Top nodded. “Well, your honest friends have something... tiny to disclose.”

“Are you kidding me?” Carrot Top shouted. Lyra and Bon Bon stood in front of her, looking sheepish. “What were you guys thinking?”

“Lyra panicked,” Bon Bon said defensively.

Lyra straightened up. “I acted like a normal pony in a highly charged situation.” She reasoned.

Bon Bon looked at her friend. “Lyra, you ate the whole note!”

Carrot Top cut in. “I will not lie for you guys!” She said angrily, walking towards the door. “I will not be a part of this.”

Bon Bon cringed. “No, I’m sorry, It’s too late for that, Carrot.”  The green eyed pony spun around. “I’m sorry Carrot,” Bon Bon sighed. “The mug in the bag is the one you lent us, which means your hoof prints are all over it too.”

Carrot Top’s eyes widened, and then narrowed dangerously. “You took my mug… to a murder?”

Lyra and Bon Bon slowly nodded. Carrot Top thought for a minute, and cocked her head to the side. “Well, my hoof prints wouldn’t be on there if you washed  it like I told you too.”

Lyra smiled nervously. “Another moment of honesty?”

Carrot Top gritted her teeth. “Dang it, you guys!”

Bon Bon gripped Carrot by the shoulders. “Look, we don’t need you to lie. We just need you to delay, all right? Forensics goes to lunch in 10 minutes, right? So if you wait 12 minutes to drop the mug off, then they won’t get to it till after lunch, which means Lyra and I will still have time to nab a suspect!”

Carrot Top sighed. “You have got to stop looping me into this stuff!” She exclaimed. “I’m not good in these situations!”

Bon Bon let go of Carrot Top. “How is that we’re now being punished for being honest?” Carrot shot her a look, and then walked out of the room. Out in the hall, Lassiter suddenly appeared. She gasped, stopping in her tracks. Lyra and Bon Bon saw this, and quickly closed the door.

Lassiter raised an eyebrow at his partner.  “Hello, Top. Lay off the coffee!”

Carrot snorted. “Coffee? What? I haven’t had coffee in like 28 hours. Twenty-nine hours. Twenty-eight hours.” Lassiter gave her a strange look.

“Okay. So, Sally, the security guard, came by, apparently to see what a big boy police station looks like and to tell us we may be able to recover some images off the damaged hard drive from the security cameras outside Creech’s office, so, stay tuned.” Carrot Top nodded vigorously as he walked away. Carrot Top looked at Lyra and Bon Bon who had cracked the door open to see what was going on. She gave them a sharp look, and left. The two mares closed the door again. Bon Bon started to pace in the middle of the room.

Lyra brought a hoof to her head. “The killer destroyed the hard drive! Why didn't I think of that?” Bon Bon stopped pacing. “Lyra, this isn't a great thing!”

“Why not?”

“Because the killer would have been on camera breaking into Creech’s office, and then we wouldn’t be in this situation right now!”

“Yes, but I would be on there too, Bon Bon!” Lyra pointed out.

“Yes, but you didn't kill him!” Bon Bon countered. Then she paused. “You didn’t kill him, did you?”

Lyra narrowed her eyes. “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

Bon Bon raised her eyebrows. “Do what?” Lyra said nothing. She opened the door with her magic and walked out. Bon Bon followed. “Do what?” She repeated. “If you killed him, just tell me!”

Later that day, Lyra and Bon Bon walked into the office building where Lyra had previously worked, hoping to find some useful information there. Most ponies stared at Lyra as they walked past. “I can’t do it, Bon Bon,” the turquoise pony whispered. “Everypony is looking at me like I’m a murderer!”

Bon Bon suddenly gripped Lyra by the shoulders and pushed her against a filing cabinet. “You have to pull yourself together,” she whispered firmly. “We need to find Blossomforth before Lassiter does, now tighten it up!”

Lyra shook her head, sweating a little. “I can’t!”  Bon Bon gripped her tighter. “We have a job to do.” She looked towards Lyra’s old workspace. “Actually, you have a job to do now!”

Lyra scowled. “I quit yesterday, remember?”

Bon Bon cocked her head to the side. “Well, no. The only one who knows that is dead as a donut hole. Now tighten it up!”

Lyra gritted her teeth. "Fine!"

They started walking down the hall again, only to be stopped by Sally and another stallion. “Ah. Lyra Heartstrings!” Sally said, smiling. “Just the pony I wanted to see.”

Lyra swallowed. “Oh, really?”

Sally nodded. “Mmm hmm. This is Mr. Merry,” He said gesturing to the pony next to him. He was tall, and had a tan coat with wings. He was also wearing a black suit with a red tie. His black mane was combed in an odd way, and he had huge eyebrows. His face was majorly preppy. “He’s SVP, from corporate.” Sally continued. “He flew in from Las Pegasus headquarters this morning to attend the in-office memorial service for Creech.”

Lyra smiled as wide as she could.  “Mr. Merry, it is an honor to meet you,” she said politely, extending her hoof. “You are one of our founding fathers, you’re legend around here!”

Mr. Merry blinked and shook her hoof. “Who cares what you think?” he replied.

“What?”

“I’m kidding. I’m not kidding.” He said in his curt voice. When he released, he left a sticker in Lyra’s hoof.

“What’s this?” she asked, confused.

Merry smiled. “That’s a scratch-n-sniff sticker. Enjoy it.” Lyra and Bon Bon glanced at each other. “Lyra Heartstrings,” he said suddenly. “I recognize the name, but I didn’t think you worked here anymore.” Sally was staring at Bon Bon as he said this. Bon Bon stared back at him, never dropping her gaze.

“Oh yes,” Lyra said. “I represent the entire line of Lemon Meringue.”

Merry nodded. “Ah, yes, makes sense. You’re the perfect mare for scrotal inflammation creams.”

Lyra’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Oh? Why is that?”

Merry smiled. “Keep up the good work, huh?”  He nodded at Sally, and walked off.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Sally asked, pointing at Bon Bon.

“I’m Bon Bon,” she replied. “I’m a sweets maker. I also use Lemon Meringue all the time.” Lyra gave her a strange look.

“So, you don’t work here?” Sally pressed. “Do you have a pass? Did you sign in?” Bon Bon shook her head no. “Well, hit the bricks, sister!”

Lyra quickly cut in. “O-oh, no, no. Uh… s-she’s my best friend.” She said truthfully. “And she’s an earth pony.” She added.

Bon Bon nodded. “I’m an earth pony.”

Lyra smiled confidently. “Today was ‘Bring your earth pony best friend to work’ day. Did you not get the memo?”

Sally’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t get the memo,” the older unicorn replied. “And even if I did, I don’t have an earth pony best friend.”

Bon Bon nodded. “That makes two of us.”

Sally looked deep in thought. “Though, I am an avid camper.” There was an awkward silence that followed.

Sally pulled out a clipboard and a quill with his magic and gave them to Lyra, who levitated the items herself. “I need you to copy this sentence three times,” he told her. “I’m sending off a handwriting sample from everypony in the company to be matched against the note left in Creech’s hoof.” Lyra gulped and turned around. “Front and center, please, Heartstrings,” Sally said. Lyra threw Bon Bon a pleading glance as she turned back around and began to write on the piece of paper with her mouth. Sally nodded in approval. “I strongly suspect that whoever wrote that note is involved in the murder.” He said.

Lyra broke off the tip of the quill. “Oh my goodness,” she gasped.

“That’s a shame.” Bon Bon said.

Sally gave Lyra another quill. “Just A-B-C, A-B-C, A-B-C.” he said. “It can’t be that hard. I don’t want to miss the memorial service.”

They finally made it to the office building where the memorial service was being held. It was also where Lyra had set off on Creech. Ponies were standing in respect, as Mr. Merry spoke. Lyra and Bon Bon stood in the back. “Dusty Creech’s untimely death is a tragedy,” Merry said, slowly walking around the office. “And not because he was a good pony. Who cares about that part? But because he was one of the best salesman of his generation.”

Bon Bon leaned over. “Where’s Blossomforth’s desk?” she whispered. “Take me to it.”

Lyra nodded. “Follow me.” Together, they started inching their way to Blossomforhth’s desk.

“Sweet music of success,” Merry went on. “You all deserve scratch and sniffs and should be sniffing…”  When the two mares made it to Blossomforth’s desk, she was nowhere to be found.

“Bon Bon,” Lyra whispered. “She’s not here.”

Bon Bon bit the inside of her cheek.  “Well, what time does she usually come in?” she whispered back. Lyra shook her head.

“She’s never late.”

“Where do you think she is?”

“I have no idea!”

“We have to find out.”

The pair continued to inch their way through the office. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Bon Bon whispered to a pony she passed.

Merry was still talking. “We’re up in Fillydelphia, we’re up in Baltimare, and we’re up in Saddle Arabia!” He exclaimed passionately. “So, what I need you to do is to move forward and continue…to prosper. We’ll do it for Creech.” He walked to a chalkboard and pointed at it. He read out what it said.  “D, deceased. R, recovery. O, opportunity. S, smile.”  By now, Lyra and Bon Bon had come to a stop, standing behind where Paper Clip sat.

Bon Bon squinted her eyes. “ ‘Dr.Os’?”

Merry continued. “Dusty Creech is dead. He’s gone, he’s not coming back. Painful, but it’s a fact. This company needs a new leader.” He paused. “Is it gonna be you?” he said, pointing at a blonde mare who smiled confidently. He then pointed at a stallion. “You?” he pointed at a third pony with a brown mane. “You?”  The pony beamed. Then he pointed to a frail looking stallion sitting at his desk. “I know it’s not gonna be you.” He said. The stallion hung his head. Merry turned back to the rest of the office. “And smile.”

Bon Bon looked at Lyra and smiled widely. “I’ll sell you a smile.” She said sweetly.

“Suck it, Bon Bon.” Lyra replied.

Merry spoke again. “Now, would anyone like to say a few words?” A short earth pony raised his hoof. Mr. merry nodded at him in acknowledgement. “Mr. Flinch?”  Flinch grabbed a guitar and walked to the front of the office. He then started to strum his guitar. Lyra leaned forward to talk to her former fellow co worker.

“Paper,” she whispered. “Where’s Blossom?”

“Called in sick,” Paper whispered back. “I should have done the same.” He looked at Flinch with pity, mixed with sadness. “I can’t watch Flinch go much farther down this road.” Lyra nodded and stepped back next to Bon Bon.

“Oh, that’s convenient,” the earth pony muttered. “Kill your boss and then call in sick.”  Flinch starts to sing while playing his guitar, a tune very similar to Time After Time.

Sitting in my cubicle the clock ticks and I think of you

I tried to make plans you’d postpone, now you’re dead.

Projects…

“You think Blossom’s really sick?” Bon Bon whispered. Lyra looked at her with and odd expression on her face. “Not at all.” She replied. Bon Bon nodded. “We find Blossomforth, we find our killer.”

You left without a sign, your RRSPs are now RIPs.

All out of time. I just cut you an extra set of my keys,

now there’s no time.

Bon Bon’s phone started to ring. She quickly answered.

You promised we’d sample some vineyard wine

“Hello?” She whispered. “Derpy!”

“I Think you guys should really get down here. Right away.” Derpy said earnestly. Bon Bon nudged Lyra. Both mares started to inch their way out of the office.

Never told you but you look just like Chris Klien.

His lip trembled.

You were sublime.

Back at the Coroner’s office, Derpy looked far from okay. “You see, as I was looking at the body again, stomach contents, wound analysis, sniff test… the body had a distinct aroma. One that is… quite familiar to me. It was the distinct scent of…” She jerked her head to glare at Lyra. “Lemon Meringue!” Bon Bon let out a low moan. Lyra’s face paled.

She looked at Bon Bon pleadingly. “Oh, Bon Bon, you know sweat activates my lotion!” she whined.

Bon Bon glared at the unicorn. “What have I told you, you go around smelling like a pie, it’s gonna come back to bite us!” she chastised.

“Not so fast, Bon Bon!” Derpy pounced. “I also smelled a significant amount of gumdrops!” The earth pony winced as Derpy continued her rant. “How badly did you two marehandle this guy!?”

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other, and then back at the Pegasus. It can’t hurt now. “All right,” Bon Bon started. “Listen to me, Derpy. We may have had a little run-in with the body.” Derpy gasped, and for a second, both of her eyes straightened. “Post death!” Bon Bon added quickly. “Post death. Lyra ate something in his hoof, and I stole his socks.” Derpy looked at them strangely. “Look,” Bon Bon continued. “It’s a long story but what we need from you right now is pony-discretion.”

Lyra nodded. “Shh!”

“Just sit on this info until we can make some progress on this case,” Bon Bon pleaded.

Derpy’s face broke out into a grin. “Oh girls,” she cooed, flying over to them and putting her arms around them both. “We’re sisters. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you! I am the vault of secrecy.” Lyra and Bon Bon smiled in relief. “I will tell nopony!” The grey mare declared.

“Thanks Derpy.” Lyra said. She and Bon Bon where on their way out the door when Derpy called out to them.

“Oh, uh, one last thing guys.” They turned to see that her expression had grown anxious. “I accidently spilled some truth powder on myself after you left. I cannot be trusted!” Bon Bon gasped while Lyra face-hoofed. “I will tell everypony! Anypony! I was already reaching for my phone to call somepony!” Derpy trembled.

Bon Bon noticed that her phone was ringing again, and glanced at it. She sighed. “Derpy, you’re calling me!” she said, exasperated.

Derpy’s eyes widened as she shook her head. “Don’t pick up!” she whispered.

Lyra and Bon Bon were back in their house. Lyra stood nervously by one of the windows, watching the clock. Bon Bon was at the dining table. Her phone rang once again. Hesitantly, she answered. It was Carrot Top. “Okay, I just dropped off the mug to forensics. You’ve got 2.5 hours. Please tell me things haven’t gotten further out of control.”

Bon Bon smiled nervously. “Nope,” she chuckled. “They have not.” There was a long pause at the other end.

Carrot then spoke again. “Are you being honest?” Next to Bon Bon, Derpy was tied up on the couch.

She sighed. “Nope.”

You Call It Insane, We Call It Tuesday

“What have you done to my roommate!?” Carrot Top ranted. “Have you guys lost your minds?!” she had arrived at Lyra and Bon Bon’s house and Derpy was still tied to the couch. Derpy beamed up at her best friend.

“Mahalo, Carrot Top!” she greeted cheerfully.

“Oh, Derpy, are you okay?”  The detective asked.

Derpy nodded. “Happier than a parasprite in a bakery! By the way, this is all my idea. I cannot be trusted. So I asked Lyra and Bon Bon to keep me away from anypony else until they solve the case. Clever, huh?”

Carrot Top turned her attention to the two other ponies in the room. “Okay, this has gone far enough. You tied my roommate to the couch! You know how insane this is right?”

Bon Bon vigorously nodded, looking slightly guilty. “Yes.”

Lyra merely shrugged. “You call it insane, we call it Tuesday.”

“It’s Thursday.”

“Is it really?”

“Its fine, C.T.,” Derpy assured her friend. “I got everything I need and more!”

Carrot top’s face twisted in worry. “But what is something happens? What if to g-go to the… bathroom?”

Derpy smiled. “All covered. A little something I can depend on.”

It took Carrot Top three split seconds to realize what Derpy was wearing under that lab coat. She whirled around and glared at Lyra and Bon Bon. “She’s wearing diapers?” The girls nodded nervously.

Derpy raised her chin. “Lyra, a snack, perhaps?”

Lyra immediately and started for the kitchen. “What would you like?”

Derpy thought for a moment. “Ooh, uh, Serrano ham on rye, touch of whole grain mustard and a slice of queso. Perhaps a muffin. Anything domestic. Surprise me!”

Lyra came back from the kitchen. “We have Cheese Trumpets.”

“That’ll do! Would you be a doll and gently feed me?” Lyra struggled to open the bag, and it burst wide open, spraying Derpy with Cheese Trumpets. Derpy was unfazed. “Thanks, friend!”

Carrot Top had had enough. “Okay, this is too much!” she  burst out. “I’m gonna set Derpy free! It’s the right thing to do, end of story!” she started to pull off the tape that help Derpy to the couch.

Bon Bon shook her head. “No, wait, Carrot! You don’t understand!”

Derpy looked her friend square in the eye. More or less. “I wouldn’t do that,” she warned. “I spilled truth powder on myself. I know you’re knee deep in this, Carrot Top. I’ll sing like a bird to anypony who will listen!” Carrot gave out a frustrated sigh, and put the tape back on. Just then, Carrot’s phone rang. It was Lassiter. Hastily, she answered.

“Hey, Canine,” she sighed. She nodded. “Sounds good. Okay.” She paused. “Where am I?” she frantically looked around at her friends for answers. They all violently shook their heads. “I…. I’m at the… lady doctor.” Lyra and Bon Bon face-hoofed. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Okay bye.” She hung up the phone. “Dang it, you two!" She seethed. “I just lied to my partner!”

Bon Bon’s face was scrunched up in disgust. “You said lady doctor?”

Carrot Top hopped up on all fours. “Well, I panicked! I got all flustered! I have to go meet him at the station. He was just at Blossom’s house, she’s not there, but the neighbor saw her leaving in some workout clothes, which is weird because she doesn't have a gym membership anywhere in town, so we’re gonna expedite a search warrant.” With one last glance at everyone, she left with a huff.

As soon as she left, Bon Bon remembered a jogging path at the park. She turned to her best friend. “I think I know where Blossom might be.”

Later that day, Blossomforth was jogging down the trail at top speed. She was more of a runner than a flier, luckily for Lyra and Bon Bon, who appeared behind Blossom, wearing gym clothes of their own.

Lyra managed to catch up with Blossom first. “First of all, Blossom,” she panted. “Good morning.”

Blossom jumped, but kept on running. “Oh my goodness, you scared me!” she gasped.

“We know what you did,” Lyra said. “So, you can do us all a favor, and stop running.” Blossom kept going. “Seriously, I mean, please, I’m begging you… stop running!”

Bon Bon gasped for air. “We get it okay? You can run.” She huffed. “You’re a runner. But what we need to do right now is stop and turn yourself in!”

“Yes!” Lyra agreed.

Blossom’s eyes darted back and forth. “Okay!” she cried. “I admit it!” Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other with wide grins. “I hated Creech so much,” the former secretary confessed. “So, I put eye drops into his coffee. Hey, I’m not proud of it!”

Bon Bon was quickly losing steam, but she managed to keep up. “So, that’s why Creech was throwing up?” she wheezed.

Blossom nodded. “But when I returned later that night to pick up some files, I found him laying on the floor. Dead.”

Blossomforth gasps as she sees her former boss laying on the ground, motionless. Panicked, she turned and ran out of the room, but not before she knocked over a vase with one of her wings.

“I had no idea the eye drops would kill him!” By now, Lyra was lagging behind.

Bon Bon’s heart sank at this news. “Blossom, what you didn’t see… where the stab wounds  on his back. You didn't kill your boss!”

Blossom gasped, and she grinned from ear to ear. “I really didn't kill that sorry excuse for a pony?” she exclaimed happily. She now had a bounce in her step as she ran.

“No!” Lyra shouted, now keeping up. “Now can we please stop running!”

Blossom shook her head. “No way!” she shouted gleefully. “I’m so happy, I feel like I could run forever!”

Bon Bon scowled. “Don’t you say that!” she yelled. “Don’t you say that!”

Lyra was now able to jog alongside Blossom. “Okay, okay, Blossom. You were Creech’s assistant, so you must know better than anypony who might have it out for him.”

Blossom scoffed. “How about… everypony on the sales team, yourself included. I mean, seriously, his job paid a million bucks, but… corporate loved him. He was a star.”

Bon Bon turned her head to Lyra. “That’s it, Lyra. A million bucks.” She said as they turned a corner. “Whoever killed him must’ve been the one who was next in line for his job.” Lyra only wheezed back in reply. Both mares were slowing down considerably.

“So, Blossom,” Lyra gasped “Thank you… for… your assistance.” Both mares finally came to a stop, and watched Blossomforth disappear behind a corner before they collapsed from exhaustion.

After Lyra and Bon Bon had recovered and showered, they returned to Lyra’s work building. “I said it once, and I’ll say it again,” Lyra told her friend. “I do not feel comfortable being here right now.” They turned, and started walking up a flight of fancy looking stairs.

“Would you relax?” Bon Bon said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry. We’re gonna figure out who’s next in line for Creech’s job and hopefully get them to fess up right now.”

Lyra still looked doubtful. “Well, we better do it quick, because I can tell I’m already guilty in everypony’s eyes. You know it’s only a matter of time before Sally gets the teeth writing results back, and then I’m done, Bon Bon. Done!” she squeaked.

Bon Bon’s expression turned serious. “I think you’re right, Lyra,” she said quietly, looking at the unicorn with concern. “He might already have those results.” They suddenly heard an all too familiar voice from above.

“Miss Heartstrings!”

The girls’ heads snapped up to see Sally and Merry at the top of the stairs in front of them. Both were looking down at Lyra sternly.

“Would you care to join Mr. Sally and myself in the conference room? Alone?” Mr. Merry asked.

Lyra anxiously glanced at Bon Bon, who looked beyond worried.

Sally pursed his lips. “Miss Heartstrings, please.” Lyra gulped and slowly climbed up the stairs.

In the conference room, Lyra sat in front of a desk, sitting in a chair in her own special way. Sally and Merry were behind the desk.

“Sally here has uncovered details of a public confrontation you had with Mr. Creech yesterday.” Merry stated.

Lyra giggled nervously. “Oh, oh, I don’t know if I’d call it a confrontation.”

“Oh, no?”

“No.”

Merry picked up a blue file. “You told him, and I quote, ‘Say hello to Cerberus after you fly first class to the fire pits of hell, you black hearted baby girl cad.’”

Lyra quickly shook her head.”Mmm, I don’t think those were my exact words.” Merry and Sally didn’t seem convinced.

“You know what this is evidence of, Miss Heartstrings?” Merry said, staring into her eyes.

Lyra’s heart started pounding faster and faster.

Merry smiled. “This is evidence of a mare with a ton of guts.”

Lyra blinked. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

Merry put away the file. “You’re fearless, Heartstrings,” Merry said proudly.

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

“You stand up to authority figures and that’s exactly what we’re looking for in a new leader.” Lyra’s eyebrows shot up. “Congratulations, Lyra,” Merry smiled. “You’re the new Vice president of this branch of Central Coast.”

Lyra grinned. “Holy Cow!” she exclaimed.

Merry smiled and extended his hoof. “Welcome to the club!” Lyra quickly shook his hoof, practically bubbling over with excitement, and Sally put his hoof on top of theirs. “Okay,” Merry said, withdrawing his hoof. “That’s enough touching. Now, Heartstrings, you’re a mare of power here now. That being said, I’m gonna have to ask you to freshen it up.”

“Freshen what up?”

“Freshen yourself up.” Merry said. “Make yourself sing, Heartstrings! And I’m talking about the Naughty Opera.”

Lyra slightly tilted her head to the side. “I don’t know what that means.”

Merry smiled. “It means go live the ‘you’re not the boss of me’ dream.” He turned to his companion. “Sally, anything to add?”

Sally nodded. “Yes I do.” He looked Lyra square in the eye. “Miss Heartstrings, now that you’re calling the shots around here, I’m sure you’ll agree, our top priority should still be figuring out who killed Mr. Creech.”

Lyra nodded uneasily. “Oh… yeah. That’s the tippy top.”

Sally nodded. “I’m closing in on the culprit,” he said with a mysterious smile. “Oh yes. The teeth writing experts have narrowed it down.”

Lyra swallowed hard. No…

“Obviously, you will be…”

Lyra held her breath.

“…Excluded.”  Lyra’s mouth hung open.

Merry burst out laughing. “Of course, she’s excluded! Don’t be ridiculous, Sally,” he chuckled. “You’re the boss! You can murder anypony you want!” Both stallions laughed together. Lyra chuckled nervously.

“I almost forgot to mention,” Sally said, wiping away a tear.

Lyra braced herself. “What… what’s that?”she asked timidly.

Sally chuckled. “The video surveillance hard drives are in the final stages of data recovery.” He was back to his original state. “Soon, we’ll have an image of whoever was coming and going at the time of the murder.”

Lyra was screaming on the inside, but she managed to keep herself calm on the outside. “Oh…okay.” Both stallions gave her serious stares.

Merry then broke the silence. “Nice work, Sally,” he said reaching into his suitcase, and pulled out a sticker. “That’s a scratch-n-sniff sticker for you.” He said, handing it to him. Sally smiled.

“Congratulations.” Lyra said weakly.

Merry nodded. “Go lead the troops, boss mare.” Lyra started towards the door, feeling like she was about to throw up. “Hey, Heartstrings!” Merry called out. “One more thing.” Lyra turned. “You’re gonna have to lose the Lemon Meringue lotion you’re sporting.” Lyra’s eyebrows knitted together, and she sniffed her shoulder. “Frankly, It’s an embarrassment.” He said simply. “You smell like a jerk.” Lyra blushed, and quickly left the room. Merry nodded towards Sally’s sticker. “Go ahead. Scratch it. Sniff it.”

Sally nodded, and did just that. He smiled. “Bananas.”

Merry struck a pose, leaning over the desk. “Bingo.”

Busted...Sort Of

“I’m having a melt down!” Lyra exclaimed. She and Bon Bon were now in her new office, which was previously Creech’s. Lyra set a framed picture of a strange figure with arms and legs behind her desk.

Bon Bon threw her hooves in the air. “You should be having a meltdown!”

“Well, I am!”

“Good!”

“Oh, Bon Bon.” Lyra whimpered. Bon Bon’s expression grew softer. She didn't want her friend crying again.

“All right, relax,” she said gently. Then she smiled. “I’m still proud of you though.”

Lyra blinked in surprise. “You are?”

Bon Bon nodded. “Under normal circumstances, this would be a great thing for both of us.” She said.

Lyra nodded and looked around the office. “Mostly for me.”  Sally suddenly appeared from outside of the office, staring intently at her, trying to look inconspicuous. “Sally’s on the move,” Lyra said in a low voice. Bon Bon looked towards the door and saw Sally as well. “We need to find that killer now.”  The unicorn whispered as Sally moved away.

Bon Bon looked out one of the windows to see Flinch, who had played the guitar earlier, muttering to himself. Intently. “Lyra,” she whispered. “Follow me.”

The two friends sneaked up behind the cubicle where Flinch was sitting. Both peered their heads slightly above it to see what Flinch was up to. “Stupid Heartstrings, and her stupid, perfect beautiful face,” he muttered. “Her beautiful minty skin. “ Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other with wide eyes. “Teeth that look like they came from Atlantis,” Flinch continued. “How does somepony even eat to look like that?” The girls sunk down to the floor behind the cubicle. Lyra was blushing.

“Flinch may be our murderer.” Bon Bon whispered. “I also think he’s in love with you.”

Lyra’s blushing intensified. “He’s not in love with me, Bon Bon.” She muttered. The two mares suddenly noticed that it was quiet. They peeked over the cubicle once more. Flinch was leaving, looking very, very angry.

At the Ponyville police station, Carrot Top and Lassiter were talking about the case. “This is good,” Lassiter said as they walked through the station. “These prints are gonna give us our killer, tie this case up in a neat little murder bow.”

Carrot smiled warily. “Uh, yeah, you know, it’s just so satisfying matching prints to murderers-ooh!” she stopped and put a hoof to her head.

Lassiter’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion and concern. “What the hay? Are you okay?” he asked his partner.

“No..” Carrot Top moaned. “No, you know, I’m… I’m feeling nauseous… and crampy and, uh…”

Lassiter swallowed, looking pale. “Lady doctor?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh dear God. Top?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“You can tell me.” Lassiter looked like he was about to puke. “Are you carrying Woody’s unborn demon seed?” Carrot Top would’ve laughed, but then she realized it would have to do for now. She raised her eyebrows, and looked at her partner knowingly. Lassiter’s face twisted in anguish. “Oh, crap!”

“Heartstrings and her perfect slim physique,” Flinch muttered in the parking lot, pacing back and forth. “That’s what got her the job!” Lyra and Bon Bon hid behind a car, listening in on everything. “Makes sense,” Flinch said, tilting his head, as if reasoning with himself. “I would… I would give her the job. I mean, she’s gorgeous! And smart!” He paused. “But she can get any job! Why does she want my job?” He started pacing a little faster. “It’s because she’s got pretty eyes,” he grunted. “Perfect teeth and a perfect smile.”

Lyra’s face was flushed with surprise and embarrassment. “Man,” she whispered. “Flinch is in love with me!”

Bon Bon shook her head. “Nope. I’m not gonna let you date a smoker.” She said evenly.

Lyra whacked her on the shoulder. “I’m not gonna date him, Bon Bon.” She hissed.

Suddenly, Bon Bon's phone vibrated. Bon Bon quickly answered it as they sat down behind the car that hid them from view. “Hey, Carrot.” Bon Bon whispered. “…Okay…That’s not great….” Bon Bon then looked confused. “…Weird…super weird…okay, bye.” She hung up the phone. “We’re out of time,” she whispered earnestly. “Lassie is about to have the print results. Carrot is trying to stall him by pretending to be carrying Starfish Hooves.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Starfish who?”

Bon Bon pursed her lips together. “Apparently, Woody’s first born. Derpy’s cousin.  Of course, I’ll get to name him after one of my favorite sea ponies.”

Lyra nodded with a slight grin on her face. “Oh! I like it. I like it a lot.”

The duo then poked their heads over the car again, but flinch was nowhere to be found. Bon Bon sprang up. “Man, your coltfriend is gone!” she whined.

Lyra immediately stood up. “He’s not my coltfreind, Bon Bon!” Together, they galloped through the parking lot, looking for any sign of Flinch.

“Where’d he go?” Bon Bon panted. They ran outside where there were more cars.

“I don’t wanna run anymore!” Lyra gasped.

“Hello, ladies!”

The two girls tuned to see Sally walking over to them with a huge trash bag on his back, which happened to be the one that Lyra and Bon Bon tried to get rid of. “Sorry to bother you.” The two mares groaned inwardly. This was not what they needed right now.

“Uh… Hey, Sally,” Lyra said slowly. “What’s happening?” Sally Held up a yellow file with his magic and gestured towards the bag on his back.

“Look what I found,” he said with a smile.

Bon Bon chuckled nervously. “How… How’d you find that?” she asked tremulously.

“I did a hypothetical evidence disposal route based on the criminal profile I’d established for the perpetrators of the crime,” Sally replied, setting down the bag at his feet. “Which led me to Hoofingdales… where I bought these shoes.” He lifted his front hoof to reveal one of his polished black shoes.

“They do look spiffy.” Bon Bon admitted.

Sally went on. “Then, I went to the dumpster behind Juan’s Mexican Café, ring a bell?” The two mares sighed in defeat.

After buying some Mexican food, Bon Bon tossed the bag of trash into the dumpster while Lyra munched on a taco.

Earlier that morning, Sally’s head rose up from the dumpster, holding the bag of trash in his hoof. He smiled victoriously.

“I also have this,” Sally added, holding up the yellow folder. “Guess who wrote the note that was clenched in Mr. Creech’s dead hoof?”

Lyra’s lip trembled. It was over. They had failed. The gig was up.

“Okay!” she cried. “Okay, Sally, you got me, all right? You got me!” Bon Bon sighed and gently placed a hoof over her friend’s shoulder. “You know who wrote the note to Creech?” Lyra almost yelled. “Me! It was me! But you know what? I did not kill him!”

Sally seemed unfazed. “Miss Heartstrings, I know two things to be true.” He said. “One, Teddy Flinch is in love with you.”

Bon Bon smirked.

“Told you.”

“Suck it, Bon Bon.”

Sally smiled. “Two, you did not kill Mr. Creech.” Lyra stared at him for a moment. Then the relief started pouring into her like a waterfall.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Bon Bon grinned widely. “You crafty stallion, you,” she purred. “You know exactly who killed Creech, don’t you?” Sally nodded. “Well go ahead,” Bon Bon said good naturedly, leaning forward. “Tell us who it is.” Lyra stared at him expectantly.

Sally suddenly dropped the yellow folder, and he started foaming at the mouth. Bon Bon’s eyebrows shot up. “Sally?” Sally fell forward, and hit the ground with a thud. Both mares gasped, and leaned over his body. “Sally?!”

The Truth Shall Set Us Free

Bon Bon sighed as they looked upon Sally’s body. “Lyra, remind me what déjà vu is?”

Lyra was sweating profusely. “It’s exactly déjà vu!” she whimpered.

Bon Bon pointed to the bag of trash Sally had dropped. “Lyra, you realize that bag is a treasure trove of our DNA! Blood, sweat, tears, hair, your lotion!”

“We’re gonna fry for this, Bon Bon!”

“Yeah… well, you’ll fry. I’ll plead down to community service of some kind.”

“Bon Bon!”

“But I’m still with you on this thing,” The earth pony declared with fire in her eyes. “And if you wanna go against everything we stand for, learn from our mistakes, then we should probably not dispose of that evidence. But…” She looked pointedly at Lyra. “If you want to stick to tradition… make the same mistakes over and over and over again, then we should just—“

“No. No, no.” Lyra interrupted. “I’m not touching a thing, Bon Bon. I don’t need to! You know why?” She took on a new air of confidence. “I’m Innocent, and the truth shall set me free!” When she was finished, she took a few deep breaths from the passionate speech she made.

Bon Bon grinned. “Hurrimane Carter… I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me too!”

“But the truth is gonna land you in a field in Moab,” Bon Bon said a matter of factly.

“Oh, no,” Lyra whimpered.

“In front of a firing squad,” Bon Bon went on. “..Full of ponies that look like Patrick Whinnieson.”

“Drops! Heartstrings!”

Both girls turned to see Lassiter, who was far across the parking lot, walking toward them with a few police ponies behind him. “You two have a lot of explaining to do!” Lassiter bellowed. Bon Bon and Lyra looked at each other.

Lyra had a no nonsense expression on her face. “This ends now, Bon Bon,” she said coolly, and started walking over to Lassiter.

Bon Bon sighed. This was it. There would be no way out of this one. She looked down at Sally, then at the bag of trash. Inside, she could see shredded files that had obviously been glued back together by Sally. On there where names and numbers. Next to it, there was a contact lens. Bon Bon gasped. She knew who did it.

“Lyra!” she shouted. Her best friend stopped, and turned to look at her, looking very much confused.  “Never! I've got something, follow me.” With that, she took off running. Lyra reluctantly followed suit, just as Lassiter reached where they once stood.

“Where the hay are you going!?” he yelled after them. Then he noticed Sally lying on the ground. He scowled. “Playtime’s over Sally, get up. Sally!” When Sally didn’t respond, Lassiter bent down, and checked his pulse. There was none. Sally was gone. “Oh, crap.” he muttered.

Lassiter then noticed the yellow file on the ground. He picked it up, and read the teeth writing analysis results inside. “Heartstrings?” He murmured, actually surprised. Carrot Top’s friend? He quickly regained his composure. Perhaps, once she was detained, he would get a better insight on what was happening. He didn't really know Heartstrings well, but he knew she wasn't a murderer. But rules where rules… “Sheppard, call this in,” he instructed bluntly, handing the file to one of the officers. “Secure the crime scene.” He turned to the other two officers. “Morrison and whatever the hay your name is, come with me.”

Sheppard turned on his radio as Lassiter and the two officers went after where Lyra and Bon Bon had ran off to. “We have a body..”

Meanwhile, Bon Bon and Lyra galloped at top speed through the parking lot. They bobbed and weaved through cars, avoiding ponies that happened to walk past. Lyra felt nothing but adrenaline coursing through her veins. Lassiter and the other officers had lost them long ago, and gotten lost. Lassiter groaned exasperatingly. “Where the hay are we?!”

On the same floor that Creech’s memorial service was held, ponies were once again standing, while Merry was giving another speech. “It’s in times like these, our darkest hours, I find clarity…”

“Sorry we’re late!” Bon Bon gasped, as she and Lyra ran into the office. Ponies murmured to each other in surprise. “Sorry everypony! Sorry. Sorry! Excuse us!” They moved through the crowd of ponies to the front of the office. “Sorry to interrupt!” Bon Bon shouted, hopping onto one of the desks. Lyra stood next to it. Bon Bon took a deep breath. “With regards to this month’s sales contest, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives.”

Lyra looked up at her friend. “Bon Bon, get to the point,” She growled. “Lassie is gonna come around that corner any second now and arrest us!”

Bon Bon nodded. “All right, all right, all right,” she whispered.

“It is at this point,” she announced, “That I will give you all closure. I know who killed Dusty Creech.” She pointed at Merry. “It was this guy.” Ponies gasped, and started to murmur again. “Mitch Merry, the sharp dressed salesman who gave his life to this company, but who was also cooking the books. Inflating the numbers so it looked as if every branch office of Central Coast was doing gangbusters business.”

Merry frowned. “That is completely and categorically false!” He defended.

Bon Bon ignored him. “The police have a large bag of evidence on level 4-F of the parking garage,” she said as Carrot Top strolled in with a knowing smile on her face.

“5-E, Bon Bon.”  Lyra corrected.

Bon Bon went on.”Inside this large bag… they will discover a fax of various earning reports sent by Dusty Creech. A fax containing the real numbers.” She smirked down at Merry. “You came down here to sweet talk him, didn’t you? You knew he was on to your little scheme, and I bet that you tried to buy his silence by offering him a job as starting small forward for the Saddle Arabia Spurs.”

“With our pharmaceutical division in Saddle Arabia,” Lyra said in realization, putting the pieces of the puzzle together in her mind.

Bon Bon nodded, glad her friend was now getting it. “That too. But he didn’t want that job!” She said loudly. “He wanted the sweet, big wig job you have in Las Pegasus, isn’t that right?”

“So, you know what?” Creech yelled, throwing paper at Merry. “I don’t want your stupid job in Saddle Arabia. I’m gonna get your job.”

“Now because Dusty Creech is the three time gold medalist of jerks, he relished the opportunity to take you down. So what did you do?”

While Creech’s back was turned, Merry grabbed a letter opener from his desk, and stabbed him repeatedly until Creech fell into his chair.

“You stabbed him,” Bon Bon stated. “Three times in the back… with a letter opener.”

“Are you really gonna listen to her?” Merry chastised. “A girl who can’t decide on which voice she should stick with on a daily basis?”

Bon Bon blushed.

“Nopony even knows your name!” Merry said.

Bon Bon’s expression hardened. “What’s my name? Suck it. That’s my name. And for the record.. I’m a half-time voice actress. And what’s your fatal flaw? You didn’t realize that one of your contact lenses popped out during the attack.”

"This is Mr. Merry,” Sally said gesturing to the pony next to him. Mr. Merry blinked and shook Lyra’s hoof.

“That’s what put you at the crime scene, Jack. And what you definitely didn’t count on was rock star, all around best security guard Valerie Laverne Sally.”

“His name is Leslie, Bon Bon.” Lyra muttered.

“Sally was getting too close,” Bon Bon continued. “Just hours away from restoring the footage on the damaged security hard drives… so you poisoned the stallion’s Thermos!”

Merry straightened his tie. “Now the $60,000 question,” he said. “Is that accurate?” There was a long pause. Everyone stared at him and each other worriedly. “Your darn right it is!” Bon Bon smiled victoriously, while Lyra smiled in pure relief. The two of them did a hoof bump.

“Nowadays, I gotta pump up numbers,” Merry seethed, “Make excuses for all you losers! And that greedy numb skull, Dusty Creech, he decides he’s gonna out me and take my job? Well, that wasn’t gonna happen. Not By him. Not by nopony.” He gestured to Lyra. “I even promoted this foal to lead the branch, so as to avoid that ever happening again,” he said, as Carrot Top hoof cuffed him from behind.

Just then, Lassiter stumbled into the office, looking furious. “Don’t you move!” He yelled. He stormed over to Lyra and Bon Bon. “Drops! Heartstrings! I am…” He stopped when he saw Creech in hoof cuffs. Lassiter frowned. “They just solved it, didn’t they?”  Carrot Top nodded. “Pony feathers!” He cursed. Then he turned and pointed at Lyra and Bon Bon. “You two nimrods still have a lot of explaining to do.” He seethed, as he and Carrot Top walked off with Creech. As soon as they left, a number of conversations erupted in the office.

Bon Bon hopped down from the desk.

Lyra smiled at her friend, and the two embraced each other tightly. “Thanks, Bon Bon.” She whispered. “You saved us. Saved me.”

Bon Bon smiled. “Never could have done this without you,” Bon Bo whispered back. “We saved each other.”

Just after the two released from their hug, Paper Clip came over and kissed Bon Bon on the lips. Bon Bon seemed unfazed. Lyra blinked in surprise. “Uh… okay?”

Flinch suddenly appeared in front of her, smiling. “I like your mane, Lyra.” He said softly.

Lyra’s lips pulled back in a tight smile. She nodded. “Thanks, Flinchy. Thanks.”

That night, Lyra, Bon Bon, Carrot Top, and Octavia piled into Lyra and Bon Bon’s house. It had been…. a long day for all of them. Things had went back to normal… or at least as normal as Ponyville can be. Mr. Merry had been arrested. Lyra kept her new job as vice president, much to the office ponies’ delight. Everyone at the Ponyville Police station was thrilled to have an arrest. They haven’t had a case like this or anything close to it  since before a certain purple unicorn and her pet dragon came to town.

Speaking of, Princess Twilight and her friends had returned to Ponyville from their trip to Rainbow Falls. All of them were chatting with each other with glee, blissfully unaware of the events that had occurred during their absence.

Lyra’s phone started to ring. She answered. “Hello?... Flinchy, I can’t talk now.”

The other mares smirked at each other.

“…Yes, of course I like spicy food.”

Bon Bon chuckled.

“…What? No, I can’t go out to dinner with you. As a friend or…no, I will not text you later.” With that, she hung up the phone.

“What was that all about?” Octavia inquired.

Bon Bon grinned. “Lyra’s co-worker’s in love with her, but he’s a smoker.”

Lyra rolled her eyes.

“Guys,” Carrot Top said. “I’ve made a decision. I would like to remain… in the dark when it comes to the ways you guys go about your lives… concerning the specific subject that occurred today.”

Octavia nodded. “That goes double for me.”

Lyra smiled. “That is a very wise decision, ladies,” She said, returning Bon Bon’s knowing side glance. “The true beauty is that you have nothing to worry about. Bon Bon and I never leave anything behind when we clean up our messes.”

As the four mares strolled into the living room, they were shocked to find a certain mail mare still tied to the couch. Derpy smiled sleepily but cheerfully at her shocked friends.

“Hey, guys!”

                                                                             “Derpy!”