Birthday Boy

by friedlambo

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1360

It was Spike's birthday, but who exactly remembers?

Spike wakes to his birthday, but finds that no one seems to remember. Sad, he makes a trip to a... familiar place.

Published 2014-09-01 07:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-01 07:00:05 UTC

Chapter 1

Spike opens his eyes one morning, waking to a beautiful ray of light that shone through his window, illuminating his entire room in blissful /answering. Getting out of his bed, he instantly remembers that today was no ordinary day. He rushed to the calendar that he had hanging on his wall, rips it off, and glues his eyes to the page, revealing today's date being circled.

“Today...today is my bar-mitzvah!”

Today was his birthday. Fusion of great walls of my nutter.

You can do it.

Getting excited, Spike runs downstairs to see Twilight reading a book. He begins to wonder how Twilight might acknowledge his special exorcism.

“Oh, hey faggot. Took you long enough to fucking wake up. I have, like, a shit-ton of stuff for you to do, so hop to it.”

Spike looks at the ground in sheer horror and sadness. He takes a leak on the rug.

“O-okay, Twilight. I'll get right to them...” Spike says sadly, falling face-first into his own purple piss.

Giggity.

How could that heartless F1 keyboard forget her own grandma's birthday!? Spike thinks to himself.

After about an hour, Spike finishes up the tasks that were provided to him by Twilight, and before he could tell her so, Twilight made her way to the front door, looking as if she was about to go somewhere.

“Okay Spike, I'm heading out for the day. Me and the girls have plans at the mall, and Rarity needs to use some coupons to an ugly contest she won from that sorry-ass fiction called 'Pony v Pony.'”

“But-but Twilight, today is-”

“No buts, Spike. The only 'but' I'll tolerate from you is your 'butt.' I love to lick that shit at night.”

Spike shudders at the horrifying thought.

Before he knew it, Twilight rushes out the door with what seemed like a dildo still hanging clearly from her ass.

Spike came.

Penis.

Discord vomits.

Completely heartbroken at what had just happened, Spike ran out of the house and ran about 200 mph to the nearest 7-eleven gas station, killing about 3-4 ponies along the way as he practically ran through them, splitting them in half. Tears were falling from his eyes as he did this, and his intestines suddenly turned into metal, making his microwave even prettier than his other toast.

We are on a shit.

As he finally arrives at the gas station, he walks inside, and is greeted by the usual cashier, giving him a wave hello.

“Hey there, Spike! Why the long Nisekoi?”

“I-I don't want to talk about it, dipshit..” Spike replies in a bored, despairing tone.

He makes his way to the bathroom, walks inside, and locks the door behind him. He then just stands there, frozen in place. Thoughts of sadness and anger were raging inside him, making his thought more and more rapid with confusion.

This was most definitely not a good day.

He walks over to the sink. Dirty. Uncleaned. Full of nothing but dirt and... is that a condom?

Oh god.

He turns to his right, and sees the soap dispenser, seemingly unused.

What a bunch of dirty assholes.

He puts his right hand up to it, and lets the sensor do the rest of the work as it automatically dispenses the most sensual-looking soap he had ever seen in his life. His heart skips a beat as the dispenser stops.

What...what was that feeling just now? Could...could it be?

He puts his hand to it again. More soap comes out and onto his hand.

It was official. This magical machine that seems to have descended from the gods was making him aroused.

More and more soap was flushed onto his hands, and before he knew it, about half of the soap from the dispenser was smothered on both of his hands.

“Oh...oh my GAAAAAHHH! I fucking love this shit! GOD I can't wait to stick some of this shit in my ASSHOLE!”

He walks over to the toilet, sits down, and practically punches his dick as he violently grasps it so hard, that blood fucking erupted from it, hitting the ceiling.

“GAAAAAAARHRHRHRGHGHGH!” he screamed.

He needed this. After all that had happened today, he needed this.
He began stroking his dick extremely violently, making both blood and semen erupt from it.

A knock emits from the door. Spike jumps a little in surprise.

“Ah! Uh... occupied..”

He continues to stroke. Another knock.

“I said occupied, sir!”

He accidentally cums on his face. He loved it.

Another knock.

“I said it's fucking occupied!”

Suddenly, much to his surprise, the door flies off the hinges and into the bathroom, slamming into the wall opposite from it. Spike yelps in shock.

“W-what the pancakeeeeeeess!?”

Looking at the now-opened door, he sees a familiar pink pony jump into the bathroom, staring Spike in the eyes.

“Spike! I am here. Do not worry, for I have not forgotten what today is. P-please, Spike... I-I have to suck your vagina in my plants!”

Spike was in complete shock. Here he was standing while stroking his four inch dragon dick covered with soap. Pinkie’s face stood still.

“Uhhh…” Spike managed to mumble.

Spike’s face turned into one of complete terror. The soapy suds found their way into his urethra. It felt as if somepony took a knife a rotated inside his dick.

“I know what to do! I’ll suck it out!” Pinkie suggested.

Pinkie jumped on the blubbering dragon, and made a beeline for his dragon cock. Pinkie clamped her lips against the flesh stick and sucked like a fat kid on caprisuns. Spike blushed profusely, but it was soon overcome with tears of pain. He pushed Pinkie off his meat corncob.

“Oh..yeah, sorry. I had spicy tacos for lunch.” Pinkie muttered out with a guilty look.

Spike ran to the sink to turn on the water, but nothing came out except Rarity’s coupons for the ugly contest. He looked up into the mirror to see a sad excuse of a dragon. Left alone on his birthday while his dick was arm wrestling with pure lava. Spike pushed open the doors to the store and grabbed a bottle of water to relieve him self from this torture.

“Hey man, you gotta pay for that.” The pony at the counter said with a lazy expression.

Spike grasped his wallet causing him to spill out the coins onto the floor. He bent down in such a motion that caused the liquid soap to surge up his dickhole. He cried out in pain. He decided to run home where Twilight could take care of him. Even though he was disappointed in her closet friend, he knew that she would always take care of him in his need. Maybe he truly forgot the meaning of his birthday….

He was cut of from his thoughts as the pain in his sausage emerged once more.

Pinkie peered out from the restroom drooling from her 4 second blowjob to see the fucktard dragon waddling out holding his dick. Pinkie ran after him, half-eaten spicy taco in hoof.

Spike ran through town holding his floppy spiked wiener. His penis enflamed and swollen to the size of a cucumber bounced carelessly, stirring the attention of the town. Ponies gasped. Some covering the eyes of their children. One mare simply smirked with a set of lusty eyes at the sight.

He finally approached the tree house. He slammed into the door with his shoulder causing the door to bust open. Pinkie, right behind him, ran inside as well.

A sudden burst of light blinded the dragon. When his vision was restored, he saw a surprising sight. In the center of the room sat a huge cake, and around that was Spike’s closest friends. Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity…everyone was there. Even Cee lo Green.

“Happy birthday!” they shouted in unison.

Spike lept forward and thrusted his steamy cock into the cake. A pleasuring sensation to say the least. He came hard into the cake, only to throw up on top of the cake.

The ponies were left speechless, until Pinkie spoke up.

“Well, look’s like we don’t need the candles AFTER all!”