Lose Yourself

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

Chapter 1

Loose Yourself (Part 1)

It was late at night, far later than Spike usually stayed up. On an average night he would have been asleep hours ago, but tonight sleep just wouldn’t come. He was all of 17 years old, and he was already feeling like his life was stuck in a rut. He laughed mirthlessly to himself. Life? What life? He’d spent all of his years helping Twilight with whatever needed to get done, and for the most part, getting no thanks for it. As far as he could tell, it looked like that was how things were going to stay. He had no life outside of Ponyville, and yet he didn’t even really have a place in his adopted hometown. He was the only dragon for miles and miles around, and even though he’d lived here for almost 11 years now, he still drew strange looks on the street. In Spike’s opinion, being one-of-a-kind was overrated.

Everyone else’s lives were going just peachy. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had hooked up a couple of years ago (he still had no idea why nopony had seen that one coming) and Dash had just been accepted into the Wonderbolts a few weeks back. Rarity was, as always, raking in the bits from her now world-famous fashion line. Pinkie Pie was doing similarly well, her new cupcake recipes had gotten popular enough that there was talk of starting a franchise. And it might have taken a ridiculous amount of coaxing and prodding to get them to work up the courage to do so, but Fluttershy and Big Macintosh had started seeing each other about a year ago, and had finally gotten married several months back. Last that Spike had heard, Fluttershy was pregnant with twins. Funny how much ponies could grow up in what felt like no time at all. Hell, even Twilight had finally found a significant other, although Spike didn’t think much of him. He was a dorky little stallion who she’d met at college who lapsed into some strange foreign language whenever he got frustrated, but Twilight seemed to have gone head over hooves for him.

Yeah, everyone was doing just bucking great. Meanwhile, Spike kept laboring on as Twilight’s assistant, while she ignored him more and more in favor of that unmemorable excuse for a stallion. Rarity had brushed him off every time he tried to even speak to her, to the point where he had finally given up on ever having a chance with the prim, fashionable unicorn. The rest of Twilight’s friends were all too busy with their own lives to even talk to him. Only Sweetie Belle paid any attention to him these days, why, he had no idea.

With a smoky sigh, Spike decided that tonight was not going to be a night for sleep. As he looked out of the library window at the beautiful full moon hanging in the night sky, he was suddenly seized with the uncontrollable desire to just get the hell out of there. Quietly, so as to not wake Twilight, Spike gathered up his Discman and a couple of his favorite CDs, crept across the library to the door and let himself out. The cool late-autumn air greeted him like an old friend as he stepped outside and quietly shut the door behind himself.

Spike sat down on the doorstep and put on his headphones, then picked out a CD and put it in the Discman. These CD’s were the only real solace that he had lately. Sweetie Belle had picked them up when she had accompanied Rarity to Manehattan for a business trip, and had given them to him as a present for his last birthday. It was almost funny, she was the only one who had even remembered that it was his birthday. The CD’s were full of some strange kind of music called “rap”, the likes of which he’d never heard in Ponyville or Canterlot. But the bleak and angry lyrics struck a chord with how depressed and resentful he’d been feeling these past few months.

Of course, it went without saying that Twilight didn’t like them. Spike could still remember her disapproving voice when she first found out, could still hear her asking “How can you listen to such obscene music Spike? What do you see in it?” with an infuriating look of confusion and worry on her face. But by now, he just didn’t care. If she was only going to notice him when he did something she didn’t like, then why should he listen to her? As the CD started to play and lyrics telling of violence and anger began to echo through his mind, Spike stood up and began to walk.

Ponyville at 3 AM was more like a ghost town than anything else. The streets, so full of ponies chatting with their friends and vendors hawking their wares during the day, were absolutely barren and silent. Spike didn’t mind. In the past few months, he’d slowly begun to hate being around others. Every time ponies stared at him, only to quickly look away when they saw that he’d noticed, every time somepony whispered a comment behind his back about how strange he’d been acting, Spike wanted to just turn on them and scream. He had no idea how he would have managed to stand all this bullshit without the music.

With a little bit of surprise, Spike noticed that he’d walked all the way across town to the lake just outside of Sweet Apple Acres. After a minute though, he just shrugged and walked down to the beach. He had no intention of going back to the library any time soon, so he might as well just sit here for a while. As he sat down in the sand by the edge of the water, Spike took off his headphones and gazed up at the moon. He wondered to himself if this was how Princess Luna had felt when she was banished up there; absolutely and totally alone, angry and resentful, despairing for where her life seemed to be headed.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh, Spike?”

The sudden voice almost made Spike jump out of his scales, he had been so caught up in his thoughts that he’d been oblivious to the outside world.

“Sweetie Belle? What are you doing out here? It’s gotta be almost four in the morning! Won’t Rarity worry if she finds out you’re out here by yourself?”

The young mare just laughed quietly at his question.

“Rarity? She’s too busy with conference calls and designing the latest fashions to notice something unimportant like her little sister sneaking out at night. Don’t worry about me.”

Spike couldn’t help but wonder why he’d never noticed how lovely her voice was before now.

“So, what are you up to out here, Spike?”

For a moment, Spike was silent. He didn’t want to dump all of his problems on her, she didn’t need to hear about how much he hated his life, how sick he was of everything and everyone. But suddenly, he found himself pouring it all out. Every bit of frustration, all the anger and loneliness, every last ounce of resentment and depression that he’d been bottling up, all of it came rushing out in a flood of words. He tried to make himself shut up, but after holding it in for so long, there was no stopping it. After about five minutes, he started to run out of things to say, and eventually just lapsed into silence.

“I’m sorry for putting all of that on you, Sweetie Belle”, he said quietly with shame in his voice.

“Don’t worry about it, Spike. Everyone needs to let it out now and then.”

She almost gave him a heart attack for the second time in less than fifteen minutes. He hadn’t noticed her sit down right next to him while he was ranting. He could smell her from here, a tantalizing mixture of lilac and something else that he couldn’t identify. And suddenly, Spike found himself listening as she poured out her soul to him. She told him how lonely she had been since her friends had gotten their cutie marks and moved on with their own lives. She told him about the growing silence between her and her older sister, now that Rarity was making it big in the fashion world. She told him about the endless crowd of would-be boyfriends that would not leave her alone, and the rumors that the other mares had been spreading about her behind her back. She told him that she’d had a crush on him for as long as she could remember.

Without even being conscious of what he was doing, Spike had put his arm around her shoulder as she let out all of her demons. For a terrible moment, he wondered if he had gone too far, but suddenly she turned to him and clung to him fiercely. She was silent, but he could feel her tears on his chest, feel her shaking as she quietly wept. For what felt like hours, Spike and Sweetie Belle sat there on the shore, holding each other close. And then she let go of him and slowly rose to her hooves.

“Spike?...”

Her voice was cracked from her recent sobbing, but it still sounded beautiful to Spike.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle?”

“Thank you. I think I should be heading home now, it’s almost daylight.”

To his surprise, Spike noticed that she was right. The sky to the east was already changing from deep blue to a warm pink color. Sighing, he stood up.

“Will you be alright, walking home by yourself? I could come with you if you want…”

She smiled at him then, a warm smile full of gratitude, and stepped closer to him.

“I think I’ll be fine. And thanks again, Spike…for everything.”

For a moment, she just stood there, her face less than a foot from his. And then, slowly, inexorably, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. If their embrace on the beach had seemed to last for hours, then this one kiss seemed to last for weeks. Finally she stepped back, gave him one more of those warm-as-the-sun smiles, and then turned and headed for home. For a few minutes Spike stood rooted to the spot like a statue. His face was on fire, his heart was pounding and his chest was heaving like he had just run a marathon. When he had finally cooled off enough to move, he picked up his Discman and CD’s and began walking back to the library. Although he didn’t realize it until he was standing in front of the library’s entrance, for the first time in months he felt happy. As he was about to open the door, he paused and smiled to himself.

“Thank you too, Sweetie Belle.”

Chapter 2

Lose Yourself, Part 2

It had been six days since Spike had met Sweetie Belle by the lake outside of Sweet Apple Acres, and he was feeling extremely confused. Why did he want to see her again so badly? Why did he get so distracted and out-of-breath whenever he thought of her? And why, for Celestia’s sake, had he been dreaming of her? It had been bothering him all week and it must have shown, because even Twilight had noticed that he’d been acting strangely. When she asked him about it though, he just said that he was a little tired from how busy the library had been lately. For some reason, Twilight asking about it had only made him more irritated. After all this time, now she was worried about him? He sighed and went back to shelving books.

Suddenly, he felt the twinge in his stomach that came when a message was on the way. He let out a sulfurous belch and a spurt of flame, and then snatched up the scroll before it could hit the ground. He scratched his head as he looked at the message in his hand. It was almost 8 o’clock at night, who would be sending letters this late in the day? His confusion only deepened as he looked at the seal; it was plain wax, not the regal seal used for letters from Celestia. The only clue about the scroll’s purpose was a small tag with the words “To Spike” written on it in elegant, flowing script.

Spike looked around nervously; for some reason he didn’t want to read this where Twilight could see him. He quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door. With a nagging feeling of curiosity, he opened the scroll and began to read.

Dear Spike,
Meet me at the Split Hoof at 9 o’clock tonight. I hope you can make it. See you there!
Sincerely,
Sweetie Belle

Spike felt his heart beat a little faster. He was going to see her again! He wondered why she wanted to meet him at the Split Hoof, though. It was a dingy bar in the less-pretty part of Ponyville, where bands came to play sometimes. It hardly seemed like a place that Sweetie Belle would frequent. But he didn’t care, as long as he got to see her again. Maybe this time he could have enough courage to tell her-

“Spike! Spike, where are you?”

Spike sighed in resignation. He folded up the letter and hid it in a drawer, then came out of the bathroom.

“Yes, Twilight? What is it?”

“I’m going out tonight, I’ll be gone for a few hours. Do you think you can take care of the library while I’m out?”
Spike smiled to himself, this was working out better than he’d hoped. He’d worried about how he was going to get away from the library in time, but now it looked like his problems were solved.

“Uh, sure Twilight! Don’t worry about it!”

“Okay, thanks again Spike!”

With that, Twilight put on a scarf and headed out into the cold autumn evening. As soon as the door closed, Spike sprang into action. He threw on a hoodie and a pair of cargo pants, put up the “Closed” sign in the library window, and then ran out into the streets of Ponyville.

The Split Hoof was exactly like what the name would lead somepony to believe. The street outside of the bar was cracked and dirty, with rubbish and assorted grime all over the place. A few stray cats were yowling from an alley behind the bar, but Spike could barely hear them over the music. The sound of some rock band or another blasted from the grungy-looking building with enough force to make Spike feel the vibrations in his ribcage. For the second time in less than an hour, he wondered just why the hay Sweetie Belle wanted to meet him in a place like this.

His concern wasn’t helped by the sudden appearance of three ponies in the doorway of the bar. The one in the middle was a drunken mare who looked suspiciously like Diamond Tiara; the other two were both frighteningly muscular stallions, big enough to make Big Macintosh look normal. As the mare slurred something about their mothers, the two muscleheads threw her bodily out of the bar like a bale of hay. The unfortunate drunk crashed to the ground a full six feet away and proceeded to empty her stomach of an impressive amount of liquor, then collapsed in a drunken heap in her own vomit. Spike cringed as he watched this scene unfold, then steeled himself and walked into the bar.

At first, all Spike felt was pain. The horrendous noise from the amps made him feel like his skull was being gnawed on by a manticore; each thud from the bass drums felt like a kick in the head. But the pain went deeper than just sound. The whole place reeked worse than anything he had ever smelled. Sweat, piss, vomit, beer and cigarette smoke all curdled together into a hellish medley that made Spike want to lose control of his own stomach. But after a few minutes of standing there and just wanting to die, his senses got accustomed to the overpowering array of smells and sounds. He looked around the bar, but saw no sign of Sweetie Belle anywhere. Well, he thought to himself, might as well wait for her.

The next hour and a half seemed to drag on forever. Spike alternated between dodging vomit, wishing that he’d brought some earplugs, stopping by the bar every now and then for a drink (apparently things like “ID’s” weren’t very important to these ponies) and looking around for Sweetie Belle. When 10:30 came around he was sitting at the bar, nursing a bottle of something or other and thinking that he was just about ready to give up and go home, when he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Ponyville, are you awake out there?!”

He whipped around to look at the stage as a deafening cheer went up from the crowd. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing there on the stage, dressed in a ragged HayC/DC t-shirt and jeans with her mane braided into a long ponytail and dyed black, was Sweetie Belle. She grinned devilishly as she grabbed the microphone, then looked out at the crowd.

“This one goes out to a friend of mine who was there for me when I needed them. Now let me hear you scream!”

Another ear-splitting roar from the crowd shook the rafters, then the band started to play and Sweetie Belle began to sing.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen your face,
Gotta say that I’m happy to see you come around my place!
Now, I think we’ve talked about it, and I think I know what’s comin’ up next,
Let’s put our minds away and let our hormones do the rest!
Does it seem obscene, does it seem like a bad thing?
Well if it is, I’m sorry kid, but you know I’m just nineteen!
So don’t be afraid if my pants start to leak,
You know damn well I’m in my sexual peak! Well…

Why don’t you have some dirty hot sex with me?
It ain’t like I’m askin’ you to give it up for free
Oh, we could start it right now, baby I’m on my knees
Don’t make me beg again, boy I just said please!...

By now, Spike wasn’t even paying attention to the rest of the band, much less the rest of the bar. He didn’t know whether to laugh at the absurdity of a mare as neat and well-bred as Sweetie Belle singing such dirty lyrics, or just stare at how unbelievably good she was. He knew that she’d finally gotten her cutie mark a year ago, when she had sung a song (it had been something about “The Time Of Your Life”) for her high school graduation ceremony, but he’d never actually heard her sing before now.

But it wasn’t just her voice that amazed him, her whole attitude seemed different. When he had seen her by the lake, she had seemed so timid and fragile, like she was tired of waiting for things to get better and had almost given up. But now, up on the stage, she looked so alive. It was as if the world was hers for the taking and she knew it. The crowd belonged to her as surely as if she had them all in chains, and she reveled in her power.

When Sweetie Belle’s band finished playing and the crowd started filtering out of the bar, Spike stayed behind in hopes of getting to talk to her.

“Looking for me?”

Spike spun around to look at Sweetie Belle. She looked even more ragged now than she had on stage, her clothes were soaked with sweat and her mane hung limply from her head. But she had a massive grin on her face and her eyes glittered with joy. Spike couldn’t help but smile back.

“Sweetie Belle, you were amazing up there! Why didn’t you tell me you were in a band?”

She bit her lip nervously. “Well…it’s kind of a secret. The band, I mean. Can you imagine Rarity’s face if she found out that I was coming to a place like this, that I was going up on stage in front of all these ponies looking like this?”

Spike chuckled to himself, then adopted his best imitation of Rarity. “Oh darling! Whatever are you doing in such a dirty place, wearing such filthy, UNFASHIONABLE clothes?! We simply must get you cleaned up, We can’t have anypony seeing my baby sister like this!”

He stopped and gave his imaginary mane a toss. By now, Sweetie Belle was doubled over with laughter, clutching her sides with tears pouring down her face. Her laughter was infectious, and soon they were both laughing their flanks off like a couple of maniacs. When they both finally managed to regain control, Sweetie Belle grabbed him in a spine-cracking hug.

“Oh Spike, thank you so much for coming! I was worried that you wouldn’t show up, that you would be too busy at the library or something!”

Oh, crap. The library. Twilight was almost certainly home by now. If she came back and found the library empty, with Spike nowhere to be found…Spike groaned and smacked his forehead.

“What is it Spike? Is something wrong?”

“Well…I kinda…” He suddenly decided that he didn’t care. Twilight could take care of the library herself, he deserved a night off. It wasn’t like anypony was going to stop by this late at night anyways.

“No. Nothing’s wrong, I just forgot to turn the lights off at the library when I left, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay. Hey, you wanna go for a walk with me?”

A walk? Really? Something smelled a little fishy about this. But once again, Spike decided that he didn’t care. He was having fun, dammit.

“A walk? Sure, let’s go!”

Sweetie Belle grinned as she took him by the hand. “Great! Follow me!”

Spike let her take him towards the back exit of the bar with growing confusion in his mind. Why were they going out this way? The back exit led right into a dingy alley, why leave this way instead of just going out the front? When they went out into the alley, his confusion was replaced with shock as Sweetie Belle shoved him against a wall and pressed her lips against his with fierce passion. His heart rate shot up like a rocket. For about half a second, he wanted to push her away, to ask her just what she thought she was doing. But for the third time that night, Spike decided that he didn’t care. He pulled her tightly against him as he returned her kiss, a feeling of burning desire growing inside of him. He hadn’t felt this good since he didn’t know when.

The next half hour would be forever etched into Spike’s mind. Any feelings of apprehension had been completely buried under a crashing tidal wave of passion as they made out in the grimy, disgusting back alley of the Split Hoof. By the time they had finished, both of them were panting in exhaustion and drenched in sweat. For a few minutes they lay there on the dirty pavement of the alley, listening to each other’s breathing and basking in the afterglow. Spike was the first one to break the silence.

“Well…that was some walk, huh?”

Sweetie Belle laughed softly as she rolled off of him and sat up. “Well, you know what they say. Some cardio every now and then is good for you.”

For a moment, they didn’t say anything. It was enough to just gaze into each other’s eyes. Then, in peaceful silence, they stood up and walked out of the alleyway hand-in-hand. Neither of them said a word as they walked to Sweetie Belle’s house. There was no need to. When they finally arrived at her home, she gave him another kiss, then smiled at him and turned to go inside. Spike smiled to himself, feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling. As he turned and headed back to the library, he finally admitted to himself what he had been wondering all week.

“I love her.”

Chapter 3

Lose Yourself, Part 3

For some reason, everything seemed more beautiful to Spike than it ever had before. The leaves in the trees rustled together in peaceful music as the cool November wind blew through them. The crickets joined the leaves in their song as they chirped and clicked away in the grass around him. And suspended above it all was the thinnest sliver of a moon, bathing everything in a pale, iridescent light. Spike sighed happily to himself as the events of the past few hours played through his mind like a movie. The overpowering sights, smells and sounds of the Split Hoof; The feeling of wonder and amazement as he watched Sweetie Belle throw off her quiet, timid mask and cut loose on the stage; The wonderful half hour after the show, when the two of them had made out in the grime and filth of a back alley; Her radiant smile as she kissed him goodbye, then turned and went home. Spike had probably had better nights in his life, but at the moment he couldn’t remember any of them.

As the library came into view, Spike steeled himself for a lecture. The fact of the matter was that he had left the library unattended to go out and see Sweetie Belle, even though he had told Twilight that he would take care of the place while she was out. If he had learned anything during his years with Twilight, it was that she did not like to shirk her duties, and that she expected the same dedication from everypony else. Spike stopped to check his watch: 12:28 AM. Yup, Twilight was going to be pissed. But when he looked up from his watch at the library, he noticed something strange: all of the lights were off. If she were going to lecture him, Twilight wouldn’t have just left the library dark like this. What was going on?

With a feeling of growing apprehension, Spike eased the library door open. The place was completely dark. Had Twilight gotten tired of waiting for him to show up and just gone to bed? No sooner had he thought this than a strange sound reached his ears. From the upstairs level of the library, where Twilight’s bedroom was, came a soft, rhythmic creaking sound. Spike thought he could hear Twilight crying, too. His apprehension only getting worse, Spike crept up the stairs to see what was going on. As he got closer to her room, the sounds became clearer; Twilight wasn’t crying, she was…moaning? What the hay was going on in there? Spike climbed the ladder and lifted the trapdoor to Twilight’s bedroom a few inches, just enough to get a glimpse of what was happening. What he saw almost made him fall off the ladder in shock.

The creaking sound was Twilight’s bed rocking back and forth. As for Twilight’s moaning, the reason for that was all too apparent. She was lying on her bed, but she wasn’t alone. That wuss of a stallion that she called a coltfriend was on top of her, licking her neck, rhythmically thrusting himself into her. They moved more and more frantically, both of them moaning louder and louder, until in the same moment of burning release they both screamed out each other’s names. Spike was surprised that all of Ponyville wasn’t awakened by the noise. He suddenly felt unspeakably dirty and ashamed of himself. He quietly let the trapdoor close then crept back downstairs to his room.

The noises from Twilight’s bedroom had subsided, but Spike could still see Twilight and her coltfriend going at it like a couple of animals in his mind. He felt sick to his stomach. He knew that he had no right to feel this angry, this sickened with Twilight. After all, it was her life, and he and Sweetie Belle had been doing something very similar (if less hardcore) not too long ago. But knowing that didn’t get rid of the growing lump of resentment in the pit of Spike’s stomach. Twilight had probably been glad that he wasn’t home, given how things had ended up happening. What would she have done if he had been home? Would she have even cared if he had been home? Even though he knew that he was being unfair, Spike just couldn’t make himself stop thinking that Twilight really didn’t care about him anymore.

Half an hour later, Spike was lying on his bed, still feeling angry at Twilight. She and her coltfriend were back at it again, if the moans and sighs filtering down from upstairs were any indication. The sounds were like nails on a chalkboard to him; with every girlish squeal that he heard, a little more red seemed to creep into his vision. Buck it. I’m not staying here another damned minute. He thought to himself. It looked like it would be another night of walking for him. Spike grabbed his discman, some CD’s, and for no particular reason, a few sheets of paper and a pencil. Then he headed out the door.

The night didn’t seem quite as beautiful now. The leaves and crickets now seemed like an irritating, incessant noise instead of a captivating song, and the wind somehow felt much colder to him. But at least the moon was still lovely. By the time he reached the center of town Spike was feeling marginally better. The empty streets and silent houses made him feel more at home than the library ever did these days. The only pony on the street was some creepy unicorn with a purple mane and a leather jacket, the smell of…blood?!…clinging to him, walking the opposite direction from Spike. As they passed each other, Spike thought he heard the unicorn mutter something about “Little bastard gets some pussy while I’m stuck fucking up jackers”, but he had no idea what the unicorn was talking about and decided to just keep walking.

After a while, his feet had taken him (what a surprise) to the lake by Sweet Apple Acres. He definitely wasn’t going back to the library again, not after what he’d seen there. He sighed to himself, then sat down under one of the trees lining the shore. Spike thought about listening to some music, but decided against it. By now, he wasn’t angry so much as bitter. For no reason that he could think of, he picked up the paper and pencil and began to write. Without him even thinking about it, the words started to form rhymes and beats, weaving themselves into a kind of poetry. As the pencil glided across the pages, Spike felt the bitterness slowly drain out of him. Finally, the pencil still in his hand and the paper still pressed against his knee, he fell asleep.

“Spike, where have you been?! I asked you to take care of the library last night and you just disappeared! What was so important that you’d just sneak out?”

That was Twilight, finally delivering her rant. Spike supposed he’d been asking for it, seeing as he hadn’t woken up and headed home until after 10 in the morning. When he’d finally gotten back to the library, Twilight had already worked herself up into a frenzy. Spike had always thought that getting laid was supposed to put you in a good mood the morning after, but apparently having your assistant disappear cancelled that out. Spike had almost reached the “I’m not really listening, but I’m pretending that I’m listening very well” state-of-mind when Twilight said something that shook him to the core.

“Really, Spike! I was up all night worried sick about you!”

It was the first time that he had ever heard Twilight lie to him. For a few minutes, while Twilight continued her spiel, he just stood there feeling numb. Then the numbness was consumed with a steadily-growing rage.

“Shut up.”

If he hadn’t been so angered, Spike might have laughed at the expression on Twilight’s face. She looked like she’d just been slapped across the face.

“Excuse me?!”

“You heard me, dammit. I know that you’re lying when you say you were up all night worrying about me.”

“But Spike, I was worried about-”

“STOP LYING TO ME! Dammit Twilight, I came home and found you upstairs with him! THAT’S how I know that you weren’t up all night worrying about me; You were up all night getting reamed by that bucking pansy that you call a coltfriend!”

“You…You…saw us?!”

Twilight’s face wasn’t comical anymore. She had grown pale as Spike emptied out his rage; she looked shocked and hurt and guilty all at once. When she spoke her voice was cracked and it looked like she was about to cry.

“H-…How could you just…watch us?! What m-made you think y-you had the right?!”

“What made me think I had the right?! Are you serious?! This is my house too, Twilight! And you just decide to bring him home, to take him to bed with you, without even thinking about whether I might come home and find you going at it?! What the hay?! What would you have done if I had been here? Would it have made any difference? With all the noise you two were making, I would have known what was going on anyways! So why do you care that I saw you, huh?! What difference does it make?!!”

By now, Twilight was in tears. She fell back onto the couch, put her head in her hooves and sobbed. Normally, Spike would have felt ashamed of himself for making Twilight cry. But this time, it was just too much to ask. It almost felt good to see her broken down like this. He turned and went to his room, packed up his things, and headed for the door.

“S-Spike, wait! I…I’m sorry…”

Twilight looked absolutely pitiful. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she was folded into the fetal position. Her voice was shaky and cracked. But Spike was just too angered to care.

“Now you’re sorry? Now, after all these years of taking me for granted? Now, after not even acknowledging that I live here unless you need something from me? Now you’re sorry?!”

She winced at every word he said, as if each one was a slap in the face. She couldn’t even make herself look him in the eye.

“This isn’t even my home anymore, not since he came into the picture. Why should I stay if you’re just going to keep ignoring me and treating me like a servant? Give me one good reason to stay.”

Twilight was silent. Spike shook his head in anger and disgust. As he opened the door to leave, he turned to look back at her.

“You know what, Twilight? Go buck yourself.”

Then he turned and left.

Chapter 4

Spike felt absolutely miserable. In the three days since his fight with Twilight, he had gone from boiling rage to a smoldering depression that seemed to crawl under his skin, devouring any peace of mind he might have had. He was still angry with Twilight, but he was even more disgusted with himself. Every time he remembered her face as she sobbed into her hooves, he wanted to scream at himself. But he sure as hay wasn't going to go back to the library. He'd meant it when he told Twilight that it wasn't his home anymore. And besides, with everything that he'd said to her, with all the hurtful words that he'd hit her with, that bridge was probably burned beyond recovery. He didn't even have the courage to go to the library and face her to apologize.

Since leaving the library, he had been living like a vagrant. Spike knew that Ponyville was about as safe a town as it got, but he didn't want to take any chances, so he had been keeping his things and sleeping in the sprawling orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. It had been okay so far, but he was nervous about what he was going to do the next time the Pegasus ponies brought the rain. And he didn't even want to think about what would happen once it started to snow. He shook his head and sighed to himself, wondering how almost everything in his life could have gotten so messed up in so short a time.

Spike was basically a wreck. Not only was he guilt-tripping about what had happened between him and Twilight, he wasn't sleeping nearly enough; every time he did manage to ease his eyes shut, his dreams only seemed to suck out more of his energy instead of giving him peaceful rest. It didn't help that he hadn't eaten anything other than the mushy apples covering the ground at the orchards since he had left the library.

There was one positive side to this raging clusterbuck that his life had fallen into: It gave him what he needed to write. Since he had hung his hat at the orchards, he had been writing almost non-stop. It had gotten to the point where he was erasing what he'd written and re-writing it in ridiculously small print, just to give him more space. But when Spike was putting words down on the page, it seemed to lessen the endless burning in his skull that had been there since leaving the library.

"I thought I might find you here; I've already looked everywhere else."

Even though he recognized the voice, it still made Spike jolt upright.

"Sweetie Belle?! What are you…"

He trailed off into silence as Sweetie Belle sat down beside him. For a while, she sat silently with her legs drawn up to her chest, resting her head on her knees. When he took a good look at her, Spike was taken aback by what he saw. There were massive bags under her eyes, her mane was an absolute mess, and there seemed to be no life in her at all. The last time he'd seen Sweetie Belle, she had seemed so cheerful and happy to be alive; what had happened to her in the three days since then to make her look so…beaten? Eventually, she broke the silence.

"Twilight told me about what happened...Don't worry, I don't blame you for what you did…I understand perfectly."

Her voice cracked as she said those last three words; she looked like she was choking back tears, but Spike had no idea why. His curiosity about what had happened to her was only deepening."

"Sweetie Belle…are you okay? Is something wrong?"

For the first time since she had sat down beside him, she turned to look him straight in the eye. He was startled by the rage that he saw burning in her eyes.

"Is something wrong?! What the hay do you think, Spike?!! I went to the library three days ago to ask Twilight if you and I could go out that night, and she just fell apart on me! She told me that you'd left and she had no idea where you were! Do you have any idea how worried, how frustrated I've been since then?! You just disappeared! Why didn't you tell me about this? Why didn't you at least tell me where you were?! Damn it Spike, I love you, but I won't stand for you just…just…"

Her voice shrank to a whisper as she looked down at the ground. There were tears running down her face. Finally, she finished her sentence.

"…just abandoning me."

Spike was at a loss for words; he felt so stupid, so worthless. He hadn't even thought about Sweetie Belle since he'd left the library, how could he have just forgotten her, just ignored her like he had? And how could he not have thought that she might feel this strongly for him? He wanted to punch himself in the face.

"Sweetie Belle, I…I'm so sorry…I didn't know…"

Yet again, he trailed off into silence, feeling even more worthless than before. After a while, Sweetie Belle started talking again.

"Rarity and I had a fight the day after you left the library. She found out about the band…about us…I don't know how. I had no idea she could get so angry…she said that 'no sister of hers would ever do something so obscene, so vulgar as to go to a place like that and get up on stage in front of all those ponies dressed like a harlot'. Her exact words."

Sweetie Belle stopped for a moment to try to regain her composure. After a little bit, she seemed to decide that it didn't matter and she continued.

"And then…then she started screaming about you and me seeing each other. She said that she couldn't believe that I would do something so stupid as to think it would be alright for you and me to be together. I never figured Rarity for a…for a…but the things she said…you have no idea how hard it was for me to hear her say those things, for me to listen to my own sister calling me a whore."

As she went on, Sweetie Belle had slipped into a dead voice, completely empty of emotion. She stared off into space, her eyes unseeing, as if she were sitting alone in a dark empty place and talking to no one but herself.

"And then, right when I thought that things couldn't get any worse…I went back to school the next day…nopony would talk to me…they kept looking at me like I had some kind of disease…they kept whispering behind my back…and then somepony passed me a note in class." She laughed bitterly, then went on. "You know what it said, Spike? It said 'How's it feel to be a scale-sucker?'…I cried right there in front of everypony, and none of them acted like they even noticed. You have no idea how completely alone I felt, how much I wanted to just run away and never stop running… and every bucking day since then has been exactly the same."

Spike felt so low, so selfish; his own problems were nothing compared to what had happened to Sweetie Belle. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but he had no idea how she would react. And then she solved his dilemma for him. She turned to him and grabbed him in an almost painfully tight embrace.

"Spike…I know that we've only been together for a few days, but…I love you. You're the only one who acts like you even care about my problems, the only one that I feel happy to be around…you're the only one I feel like I can trust anymore…Please, don't make me regret that."

"Sweetie Belle…I promise, I will never hurt you. You can believe me when I say that."

He felt her grasp lose some of its frantic tightness as she relaxed.

"Thank you, Spike…you don't know how much that means to me."

For a while they just lay there, their arms around each other. Then Spike said something he should have told her a long time ago.

"I love you too, Sweetie Belle."

She smiled then, one of those brilliant smiles that seemed to shine brighter than the sun. She didn't respond to him, at least not in words. Instead, she pressed her lips against his and held them there. Spike had no second thoughts about returning her kiss; this time, it just felt like the most natural thing in the world. After what felt like hours, she broke off from the kiss and laid her head on his chest. For a while, they were both silent. Just as Spike was about to say something though, he was interrupted by a massive snore from Sweetie Belle. He chuckled to himself. She was probably even more tired than…

He fell asleep before he got any further.

Chapter 5

The first thing Spike registered when he woke up was that Sweetie Belle was still lying on top of him, still stone-cold asleep. So this is it. We're really together now. The thought made him a little nervous, not unreasonable considering its implications. But more than that, it made him feel amazingly liberated. Now that they both knew how things were, Spike felt so much more at ease. It was like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He smiled to himself as he ran his hand through Sweetie Belle's mane. He had meant it when he had told her that he loved her, the proof was in the warmth that he felt inside as he looked at her. Sweetie Belle stirred at his touch, yawning as she awakened. She looked up at him with bleary eyes, a smile to match his own on her face.

"Hey, you."

She kissed him lightly on the cheek, then snuggled up against him. She spoke softly as she rested her head on his chest.

"So what now, Spike? Where do we go from here?

Spike sighed to himself as reality came back to him. It was great that he and Sweetie Belle were now official, but that didn't change the fact that things were still pretty cruddy for both of them. For one thing, he couldn't keep living in these orchards. Sure, they were undeniably pretty, and he liked the solitude that staying here gave him, but it was hardly a suitable place to live. It was already starting to get colder as November moved into December, and the first snows would probably come any day now. And then there was the matter of him and Twilight. He was still angry with her for how things had been the past few years, but dammit, she'd been his best friend for so long, almost like his mother. Spike couldn't just leave things like they were, with so much anger and bitterness between the two of them.

"Well first…I have some unfinished business at the library."

"…Are you sure that's a good idea, Spike? The last time I saw Twilight, she was pretty wrecked. Seeing you again so soon after…after what happened…it might not be the best thing for her."

"I know…but I have to make this right. If I left things like this, then what would that make me?"

For a while, Sweetie Belle was silent. Then, in a quiet voice she spoke again.

"…I'm proud of you, Spike. I don't think I'd have the courage to do it myself…if you want, I could come with you…"

Spike smiled at her and hugged her a little tighter.

"Thanks, Sweetie Belle. But this is something I have to do on my own."

Spike gritted his teeth, steeling himself for what he was about to do. Come on, you pansy. You need to fix this, you can't just leave things like this. He took a deep breath, then knocked on the library's front door. For about half a minute, there was no reply. It felt like hours to Spike. Then the door opened slowly.

"Y-yes? Who is it?"

It felt like a punch in the stomach for Spike to see Twilight like this. She looked worn and tired, like she hadn't slept for days. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her voice was even more quiet and timid than Fluttershy's.

"Sp-…Spike? W-what are y-you doing here? I d-didn't think you w-were coming back…"

Ah, jeez. She was starting to break down again. Well, better get this started. He gave her a weak smile.

"Can I come in? I just want to talk."

Ten uncomfortable minutes later, they were both sitting on the couch. A tense silence stretched between them while they stared at their untouched cups of tea. Come on, man. You came here for a reason, remember? Just do it! But before Spike could say anything, Twilight spoke up. Her voice was raw, but she managed to keep from stuttering.

"Spike, I know that you feel like I've been ignoring you…I really didn't mean for it to be that way. I've been really busy with my life, but that's no excuse for how I've treated you. You've been my friend for most of my life, and I really do care for you…I should have paid more attention to how you were feeling, instead of just assuming that you were fine. I…I did take you for granted, and I wouldn't blame you if…if you can't forgive me."

"Twilight-"

She kept going as if he hadn't said a word. It was like she was letting out something she'd needed to say for days…which was probably the case.

"It was wrong of me to just bring Question here without telling you… I…I know that you don't think much of him, and it probably didn't help that you walked in on us…well, you know what we were doing. And I shouldn't have lied to you like I did…There was no excuse for that, none at all. You deserve the truth from me, and it was wrong of me to try to hide what happened from you."

"Twilight-"

Again, she just kept going. By now, she was starting to cry and her voice was beginning to crack, but she kept speaking as if she couldn't bear to leave any of it unsaid.

"So, I just want to say, I'm so, so sorry for how things have become. I know that just saying that doesn't change anything, but I want you to know that I'm-"

"Twilight! Stop it. You don't need to apologize to me."

She looked up at him, surprise on her face.

"Look…I am angry with you…but you've been there for me my entire life, and I don't want what I said to ruin things between us. The way I acted…it was selfish, and childish, and just…just so stupid. No matter how angry I was, you didn't deserve any of what I said to you. And as for your coltfriend…yeah, I don't like him, but it's your choice who you go out with, not mine. If you're happy being with him, then that's all that should matter…And…Twilight, I know this may sound weird, but…you're the closest thing to a mom that I've got. It was wrong of me to treat you the way I did…to say the things I said…you deserve better from me. So please…don't apologize to me. There's no need for you to do that. I'm the one who should be apologizing…so Twilight…can you forgive me?"

There were tears running down Twilight's cheeks, but there was a smile on her face. She grabbed him in a spine-crushing hug and gave a little laugh of relief.

"I already have, Spike…Can you forgive me?"

He smiled in relief as he answered her.

"Of course I do."

Twilight still didn't let go of him, but he felt her relax her embrace a little bit. For a few minutes, they just sat there on the couch, both of them happy and relieved to be forgiven. Then Twilight let go of him and sat back on the couch, looking at him with a warm smile on her face.

"I'm proud of you, Spike…That was a very grown-up thing that you did just now…not to mention, I'm not sure I deserved it…but you really have grown up, Spike. Nopony can deny that you're not a baby anymore. I'm just so…so proud of you. Sweetie Belle is lucky to have you."

Wait, what?! How did Twilight…oh, yeah. She'd probably been able to guess the truth when Sweetie Belle had come by, asking about him.

"You're….You're not mad? About me and Sweetie Belle…seeing each other?"

Twilight laughed a little and smiled at him as she spoke.

"Of course I'm not mad! I'll admit, it does seem a little strange to me…a dragon and a unicorn being together…but if you really do love each other, then why would it be wrong?"

Spike breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Twilight. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"Anytime, Spike! …So, what now? If you want, you can come back and live here…as long as I'm here, you'll always have a place to stay."

"I really appreciate it, Twilight…but I think I need to move on. I don't know where I'll go from here, but it's time for me to start living my own life. And if I stayed here, I don't think that would ever really happen."

Twilight looked a little sad, but then she put on a smile and looked him in the eye.

"Well, if that's what you think is best, you have my blessing. I wish you the best of luck wherever you go, and if you ever need any help, you know you can call on me. Oh and Spike…"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Take care of Sweetie Belle. She needs someone she can rely on…so don't let her down."

"Don't worry, Twilight. I won't."

With that, Spike stood up and got ready to leave. But before he could even take a step towards the door, Twilight jumped up from the couch.

"Hold on just a minute, Spike, I've got something to give you before you leave."

With that, she turned and ran upstairs to her room. Spike scratched his head; he could hear her banging around up there, but he had no idea what she was doing. After a few minutes, Twilight came back downstairs, holding a medium-sized pouch.

"It's not much, but it's all that I've got."

When Spike opened the pouch his jaw dropped. Inside were what had to be at least a thousand bits in cash!

"Twilight, you don't need to-"

She held up a hoof for silence, a small smile on her face.

"Of course I don't need to. But really, Spike, do you think I'd just let you sleep in the gutter? That should be enough to keep a roof over your head until you can figure out what you're going to do."

Twilight's voice dropped a little lower as she finished speaking. She grabbed him in a loving hug and put her head on his shoulder.

"Oh Spike, I'm so proud of you! It seems like just yesterday you were hatching out of your egg and sucking your tail-"

"Aw jeez, Twilight!"

"-and now you're all grown up and moving out on your own! ...Take care of yourself, Spike. I hope that, whatever you decide to do, wherever you decide to go, you can be happy. And never forget, I love you."

"I love you too, Twilight…take care of yourself too."

He hugged her back, then turned to leave.

"And Twilight? …Thanks for everything."

She smiled at him and waved as he left. Long after Spike had passed out of sight, Twilight stood in the doorway, watching the point where he had disappeared. Finally, she sighed to herself and went back inside.

Chapter 6

Spike couldn't help but feel like he was under a microscope. Not unreasonable, considering how out-of-place he was here. Still, that didn't change the fact that his fight-or-flight response was this close to kicking in. If there was any place in Ponyville that he truly didn't belong, it was here, at Sweetie Belle's college. As he walked through the hallways, he could feel everypony's eyes following him and hear their voices as they whispered at his passing.

"Is that-"

"-heard he and Sweetie Belle are-"

"-nerve of him, coming in here like he's-"

"-buckin' slut, what does she see in him?"

Spike gritted his teeth and kept walking. He would not make a scene in here. It chafed to have to listen to these worthless foals gossiping about him and Sweetie Belle, but if he lost it here, it would probably only make things worse for her. Spike wouldn't even be here in the first place if she hadn't asked him to meet her here after class. He wasn't officially barred from being here, but as the only dragon for Celestia knew how many miles around, Ponyville University wasn't exactly high on his list of places to be.

She said the cafeteria…largest room in the whole bucking place and I can't find it. It figures. After what felt like hours of wandering aimlessly through the seemingly endless hallways, Spike finally managed to find the cafeteria. It probably would have gone faster if he'd asked somepony for directions, but he wasn't taking any chances. Judging by the looks he kept getting, it wouldn't have been such a great idea for him to have drawn any more attention to himself. Spike walked into the cafeteria and took a seat in the corner closest to the door, as far as he could get from the tables. She said her class ends at 5…it's 5:10 right now…where is she?

For the next agonizingly long forty minutes, Spike sat there and twiddled his thumbs, sweating it out under the constant stares of the college ponies. He kept looking around for Sweetie Belle, but he couldn't see her anywhere. Finally, he decided to go check her classroom. She'd told him that if she was late, it was probably because of a project that she needed to talk with her professor about, and that she'd most likely be in her classroom – room 342, if he remembered correctly. With an all-too-familiar feeling of apprehension growing in his chest, Spike stood up and began to navigate his way towards where he thought Sweetie Belle's classroom was.

Ten minutes later, he was pretty sure that he was almost there. Just up these stairs and I should be – wait a minute…what's going on here? From the stairwell up ahead, he could hear voices coming. It sounded like three, maybe four mares laughing - and not in a very nice way - at something…or somepony. And then he made out a fifth voice, one that sounded very familiar too him. But this voice wasn't saying anything, it was…crying? Spike quickened his pace, anxiety gnawing at him. The closer he got, the more distinct the voices became.

"-he just your 'friend'? Or have you taken him to bed with you, too? I'll bet you have, you bucking whore. You make me sick, you freak."

Spike was getting a very bad feeling about this. By now, he was practically running. He heard a dull thudding sound, and the fifth voice cried out in pain. Oh Celestia. Sweetie Belle! The sight that greeted his eyes when he rounded the corner to the stairwell shocked and enraged him at the same time. Sweetie Belle was curled up in the corner of the stairwell, surrounded by four other mares. Her left eye was blackened and swollen shut, her lip was bleeding and she was covered in bruises.

"SWEETIE BELLE!!!"

At the sound of Spike's voice, everypony turned to look right at him. The four mares surrounding Sweetie Belle stared at him in shock, but he couldn't have cared less about that. Now that Sweetie Belle was facing him completely, he could see that somepony had scrawled 'Scale-Sucker' across her face in what looked like permanent marker. For a moment, Spike felt oddly detached from the situation. And then he felt a monstrous rage growing inside of him, so intense that it scared him a little. Wisps of smoke floated out of his nostrils as he turned on the four mares surrounding Sweetie Belle, lightning flashing in his eyes.

"Get the buck out of here now, before I decide to make you sorry for what you just did."

Eyes wide as saucers, the four mares turned tail and fled. Spike barely paid them any attention. His eyes were fixed on Sweetie Belle. As he drew closer to her, she quickly looked away as if to keep him from seeing what a wreck she was. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain and suffering. Spike knelt down beside Sweetie Belle and gently wrapped his arms around her. The rage that had gripped him less than a minute earlier was gone, washed away by the pain of seeing Sweetie Belle like this. At his touch, she turned and clung to him with frightening tightness. She tried to say something, but she choked on the words before they could come out. He slowly lifted her to her hooves, whispering softly to her.

"Shhh…shhh…it's okay, Sweetie Belle…I'm here now. Come on, let's get you home."

Spike sighed to himself as he turned the key in the lock to his new home. Things had not gone over well with Rarity when Spike had brought Sweetie Belle back home. He could still feel the hoofmark on his face where Rarity had slapped him, could still hear her words echoing inside his head. "If you EVER come near my sister again…" the rest of it had gone downhill from there. But neither Rarity's hooves nor her words had hurt him nearly as much as when he had seen Sweetie Belle curled up and sobbing in the stairwell at the college. It still ate him up inside when he thought of it. And deep inside, he knew that Rarity was right. It was entirely his fault that this had happened to Sweetie Belle.

The gloomy thoughts followed him into his house like a storm cloud. He smiled bitterly to himself as he looked the place over. Yup, home sweet frickin' home. There were only two rooms in the place; a tiny bathroom and a slightly larger main room. The house was completely empty except for a dirty mattress that Spike had scavenged from a street corner a few days ago and a hot plate, a coffee maker and a space heater that he'd picked up at a thrift store not too long afterwards. It was just a little bit above the level of "dump", but it beat living out in the open at Sweet Apple Acres. And at just ten bits per week, it was definitely in his price range. Spike mentally thanked Twilight yet again for the cash she'd given him, he didn't know what he would have done without it.

Spike groaned as he fell face-first onto the mattress. He just wanted this day to end, dammit. But the more he tried to go to sleep, the more sleep ran away from him. He couldn't get Sweetie Belle out of his head; whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her crying in the stairwell, the words 'Scale-Sucker' written across her face like graffiti. Spike checked his watch: it was already eleven o'clock. He would have killed for a book, or a movie, or anything to take his mind off of the clusterbuck that this day had turned into, but he was just too worn out and depressed to do anything at all.

He was just about ready to start banging his head against the wall in frustration when a soft knock at the door snapped him out of his funk. Who the hay could it be NOW?! With an aggravated sigh, Spike rose from the mattress to go answer the door. When he opened it, he had to fight to keep from jumping back in shock.

"Hey, Spike. Mind if I come in?"

Sweetie Belle still looked pretty beaten, but she seemed a little more stable now than she had earlier on. And thankfully, she'd managed to get that horrible message wiped off of her face.

"Um…sure, come on in…Uh, Sweetie Belle? How did you find out where I live?"

She laughed softly at his question.

"Easy: I just asked Twilight."

Oh, Twilight, of course. Spike mentally smacked his forehead. Thank you sooo much for telling Sweetie Belle that I'm living in this trash heap, Twilight. Really, what would I do without you?

The next half hour passed uneasily for both of them. Spike made himself busy by fixing them some coffee, but after that there was nothing to do other than sit on the mattress and wait for someone to break the silence. Spike was the first one to speak up.

"Is it okay for you to be here? I mean…Rarity seemed like she wasn't kidding about us not seeing each other again."

An expression of bitterness and resentment flashed across Sweetie Belle's face at the mention of her sister's name.

"Buck what Rarity said. And you know what? Buck Rarity. Oh sure, she acted all worried when we were out in public, but you should have been there once we went inside. She was all 'Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am, Sweetie Belle?!' and 'You should have known this would happen, getting involved with the likes of him!' and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It felt like I was right back in that stairwell, Spike. She didn't even ask if I was okay, she just lectured me and then went back to one of her oh-so-important phone calls."

Spike was speechless; He'd known that things had gone sour between Sweetie Belle and her sister, but he'd never thought that Rarity could be so callous. The anger slowly leaked out of Sweetie Belle's expression as she turned to look at him.

"I…I never got the chance to thank you, Spike…so…thanks for what you did back there."

She leaned up against him and rested her head on his shoulder. For the first time since that nightmarish scene at the college, Spike felt a little better. He put his arm around her shoulder smiled.

"You're welcome, Sweetie Belle."

"…Hey, Spike?..."

Sweetie Belle's voice was quiet and a little bit nervous.

"…Would it be okay if I stayed with you tonight? I don't mean to impose, but I just…I just don't want to be alone tonight."

The first thing to register in Spike's mind was shock; first, that Sweetie Belle would want to sleep in a place like this, and second, that she was actually asking him if she could stay the night!! He felt his face heat up as he answered.

"Ummm…If you really want to, Sweetie Belle…I mean…this isn't exactly the nicest place, but if you want to stay, then-"

She put a hoof over his mouth, then smiled at him. Even with a black eye, she still had the most beautiful smile that Spike had ever seen.

"Thanks, Spike. You don't know how much that means to me."

She slowly moved her hoof down from his mouth, then leaned in and replaced it with her lips. For ages, they sat there on a dirty mattress, sharing a passionate kiss in the middle of a barren, ugly room. Finally, Sweetie Belle broke off the kiss and gave him another one of those dazzling smiles.

"What do you say, Spike? You want to take it a little further?"

In answer, Spike pulled her close and gave her a fiery kiss of his own. From there, things progressed like one would naturally expect them to.

It was the best night that either of them had ever had.

Chapter 7

For the second time in his life, Spike woke up to find Sweetie Belle lying on top of him. This time however, they were both…well…completely naked. They hadn't even been together for a month, but already it just felt right to Spike to wake up like this, feeling her warmth through his scales, breathing in the scent of lilacs and something else that followed her everywhere. He grimaced as he looked at her; she still looked achingly beautiful to him, but her blackened eye and the bruises covering her body made him grit his teeth in anger as the memories of the day before came back to him. He had no idea why he hadn't beaten or burned those damned mares within inches of their lives. They would have deserved every bit of it. But as Sweetie Belle sighed in her sleep and nuzzled his chest, he forgot about all of that. Today, he was happy to be alive.

His peaceful reflection was rudely interrupted by a pounding on the door.

"SWEETIE BELLE! You come out of there this instant, young lady!"

Spike groaned and smacked himself on the forehead; he would have recognized that prim, refined tone anywhere. Rarity. She must be really ticked off to act in such an unladylike manner. Surprisingly, Sweetie Belle didn't even stir at the noise; it was a testament to just how hard yesterday had been for her. Spike gently shifted her off of him, then grabbed some pants and headed for the door. As much as his opinion of the fashion-obsessed unicorn had fallen of late, he still didn't think it would be a good idea to answer the door in the nude.

"DO YOU HEAR ME, SWEETIE BELLE?!! I know you're in there with that reprobate, now come out! You have no idea how much trouble you've caused m-"

Rarity stopped mid-sentence in shock as the door swung open. Her face slowly turned brick-red as she struggled for words, flustered by the sight of him half-naked. Spike would have laughed at her expression if he were in the mood, but at the moment he was just pissed off.

"Oh, so I'm a 'reprobate' now, is that it? I don't think so. This 'reprobate' is the same guy who stuck up for your sister yesterday after she'd been put through hell. This 'reprobate' is the same guy who was there for your sister when she needed someone. Can you say the same for yourself, Rarity?"

Rarity's expression went from shock to righteous indignation in a heartbeat as she fixed Spike with a withering glare.

"Where is she, Spike?! I know you're hiding her in there!"

Rarity moved to push past Spike into the house, but he shifted to block her way. She glared at him with pure hatred.

"How DARE you?! That's my sister that you're keeping in there, I demand that you stand aside! It's high time that she came home!"

"How dare I? I know that this place isn't as fancy as you're used to, but it's my house and you've got no right to just force your way in here without my permission. So why don't you get lost, Rarity?"

"Spike?...What's going on?..."

Both Spike and Rarity stared in shock as Sweetie Belle appeared in the doorway behind Spike. While Spike had had the forethought to throw on some kind of clothes, Sweetie Belle was apparently still too tired to worry about such things. For a moment, Spike and Rarity were both thunderstruck. Then Rarity's face became an even deeper shade of red as she looked from Spike to Sweetie Belle and back again, fury building in her eyes.

"Why you…you...you PHILANDERER! How DARE you violate my sister?!"

Rarity's eyes flared as she turned on Spike, then she smacked him across the face with a neatly-manicured forehoof. It hurt, but Spike had felt much worse before. His patience for this farce was nearly at an end, but before he could do or say anything, Sweetie Belle thrust herself between him and her sister.

"Rarity, I swear to Celestia, if you ever touch Spike again you are as good as dead to me."

As happy as he was to hear Sweetie Belle say that, Spike was a little more worried about her standing stark-naked in the street in broad daylight.

"Uh…Sweetie Belle, you might want to put on some clothes-"

Both Sweetie Belle and Rarity turned on him with fire in their eyes.

"STAY OUT OF THIS, SPIKE!"

He was so startled by the rage coming off of both of them that he actually took a step back.

"Um…okay, I'll uh,…just go back inside and make some coffee…"

"THANK YOU!"

Ten minutes later, Sweetie Belle and Spike were fully dressed, Rarity was sitting uncomfortably on the floor facing them, and they were all glaring at each other over their coffee. It almost reminded Spike of his talk with Twilight, but this time, there was none of the regret or desire to make things right. The only thing here was a feeling of anger and resentment so thick that it was almost tangible. After a few more minutes of agonizing silence, Rarity cleared her throat in a refined, ladylike fashion and spoke up.

"Sweetie Belle, I must say that I'm worried by your recent behavior. Dressing up in rags, sneaking off to that...bar, associating with that 'band'…and now this! You start seeing him-"

Rarity pointed an accusing hoof at Spike without even giving him the courtesy of a look.

"-behind my back, even though you surely knew that it would cause problems for the both of us! And just look where it's taken you! Just look at yourself! I would never have thought you to be somepony to get into fights, Sweetie Belle. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to admit to my clients that you're my sister, after all of your recent uncouth behavior?"

She kept talking, but she had shifted her gaze to Spike. He suddenly felt like a bug under a magnifying glass, with nowhere to run or hide. Then Rarity turned back to Sweetie Belle and resumed her rant with full force.

"And now you've decided to become involved with this, this hooligan? Really, Sweetie Belle! I was concerned about you when you started sneaking out to that disgusting place, but I went against my better judgement and put it down to youthful recklessness. But this…this is too much! I would have been irritated if you had just been seeing a stallion behind my back, but I never thought you would take leave of your senses enough to shack up with a dragon! Do you have any idea what a scandal you've caused?! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Rarity seemed to actually expect an answer to her question, but for a moment, Sweetie Belle gave none. She just sat on the mattress next to Spike, eyes watering and jaw clenched. Then something seemed to snap inside of her. She rose to her hooves and fixed Rarity with a burning look of unadulterated rage, then began to speak.

"What do I have to say for myself? What about you, Rarity? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Rarity seemed taken aback by the anger of Sweetie Belle's reply, but Sweetie Belle rolled right over her before she could say anything.

"If anypony here should be ashamed of themselves, it's YOU! How can you just stand there and lecture me like you're my mother, when you haven't even been a sister to me for years?! Ever since you got famous, you've turned into a pompous, self-absorbed JERK who only cares about herself!"

Rarity bristled at Sweetie Belle's exclamation and rose to her hooves to deliver a scathing reply.

"Self-absorbed?! Pompous?! I would watch my words if I were you, Sweetie Belle! I let you live in my house, I paid for your education - and it wasn't cheap, by the way! - and THIS is how you repay me? THIS is how you speak to your sister? How dare you be so ungrateful?!"

Sweetie Belle was staring at the floor, silently shaking with rage. She began to speak again, but this time she didn't even look at Rarity. It was as if the sight of her older sister would make her lose control.

"What exactly should I be grateful for? Should I be grateful for getting to live in a house that might as well be deserted for all the time that you spend on the bucking phone or locked in your designing room? Should I be grateful for being sent to a school where everypony mocked me even before I started seeing Spike? Should I be GRATEFUL for having a sister who doesn't even give a buck when I get beat up at school, who's more worried about whether I'm causing a scandal than whether or not I'm happy? What the BUCK do I have to be grateful for, Rarity?!"

As Sweetie Belle finished, she looked her sister dead in eye with an accusing glare. If looks could kill, Rarity would have been nothing but a pile of butchered meat. Rarity actually took a step back, astonished by the white-hot resentment spilling from Sweetie Belle's eyes. She fumbled for words, but she couldn't seem to find any. Before Rarity had a chance to speak, Sweetie Belle spoke in a voice dripping with such intense anger that Spike shivered just to hear it.

"Get out of here, Rarity. Get out of this house, get out of my business, get out of my LIFE! Just GET OUT!!!"

Rarity's naturally white face had somehow become even paler, to the point that she almost looked like a ghost. With a look of astonishment and horror, she turned and ran from the house. As the front door slammed shut behind her older sister, all the energy seemed to drain out of Sweetie Belle. She slumped down to the floor, head bowed down. But surprisingly, she didn't shed a single tear.

Spike felt like he had just watched the climax of a very, very depressing movie. Through the whole argument, neither Sweetie Belle nor Rarity had paid the slightest attention to him, even though he had been less than four feet from either of them the entire time. He was shocked by what he had just witnessed; he never would have guessed that Rarity could be so cold and selfish, or that Sweetie Belle possessed such unrelenting fury. He had no idea what he should say or do; should he go comfort Sweetie Belle? Should he just leave her alone and let her work this out by herself? Before he could decide, Sweetie Belle took a deep breath, rubbed something out of her eye, and stood up.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that, Spike. It couldn't have been pleasant to watch."

Now Spike did get up and hold her. For a moment he worried that she would shy away from him, wanting to be by herself, but then she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. He smiled and stroked her mane as he spoke to her.

"Yeah, it was kind of scary…But you know what? It just made me that much more proud of you, Sweetie Belle. You stood up for yourself…and I know better than you'd think how much courage that takes."

"Thanks, Spike…"

For a while they just stood there in each others' embrace. Then Sweetie Belle pulled away from him and let out a long, exasperated sigh.

"Well, now I'm officially homeless…But anything's better than having to live in that bucking house for one more minute."

"Sweetie Belle…If you need a place to stay…I mean, I know this place isn't very big, but you're welcome to stay here if you want to…"

She smiled at Spike and then shook her head.

"Thanks for the offer, Spike. But I think I'll find my own place. I'm not broke, you know. With all the shows that the band and I have been putting on, I think I've got enough money to get by for a while."

She took his hand and looked up into his face.

"You know…I had a chemistry exam today, but I think I'll skip it. I'm not feeling like being a good student right now, not after the last couple of days I've had…how about you, Spike? Wanna take the day off?"

In the apartment next-door, a beer-bellied earth pony was lazily flipping through channels on the television. That prig of a unicorn that he'd seen go into his neighbor's apartment had finally left, and now it was nice and quiet. No damned crazy mares fighting, no irritating screams coming through these damned paper-thin walls-

His train of thought was interrupted by a scream coming through the damned paper-thin wall. This time though, it was a scream of ecstasy and passion, not a scream of rage. He threw down the remote in disgust. Why wouldn't his bucking neighbors just let him get some quiet time with his TV?! He muttered under his breath.

"Damned teenagers."