Pinkie Pie loved seeing ponies smile. The way to doing that was incredibly simple: make them laugh. Pinkie liked to think that she was good at getting ponies to laugh. After all, she was the element of laughter. After earning her cutie mark by making ponies smile, she had taken great pride in her talent. Hay, ask anypony in Ponyville about smiles and you'd either be directed to Pinkie Pie or the dentist.
On this day, Pinkie was doing her normal job at Sugarcube Corner. That is, she was doing all the jobs at once. She zipped to the front of the store to take an order, and then dashed back to the kitchens. A split second later, she'd be back out to take another order. Ponies watched her bouncing around with her smile, and they smiled, too. Almost everypony who saw Pinkie did that.
Almost everypony.
Ear flop, then eye flutter, then knee twitch. The door opened and a single stallion stepped into Sugarcube corner. He wasn't smiling, but that was alright. Pinkie knew from experience that it usually took a moment or two for the smiles to start showing up.
He hesitated for a moment before making his way to the register where Pinkie was ready and waiting for his order with a smile, waiting for him to return one in kind. Instead, he stopped a short distance from the register and looked up at the menu.
Then he frowned.
Pinkie managed to restrain herself from reaching for the emergency party supplies. He wouldn't be the first customer to frown at the menu. Like others before him, he was probably frowning in deep concentration. Pinkie could sympathize with his plight, as there were a multitude of difficult choices all being forced at once to this poor, overwhelmed stallion. After all, you couldn't just choose anything from the menu. It had to be the right thing for the occasion. It had to fit the mood. It had to be-
"I'll take a grilled cheese sandwich," he said, his face not changing out of the frown.
Pinkie barely stopped a gasp from escaping her mouth. How could anypony pick one of the best menu choices without managing to smile even a teensy bit? It should be impossible! She could scarcely believe her eyes as she took in the sight of this stallion, resolute in his frowniness.
Maybe it was a test of some sort? The cheese sandwich was a possible clue that her old friend could be checking up on her. What if this was one of his secret agents of laughter, dedicated to making sure that she could still bring smiles to every pony she met?
"What kind of bread would you like?" she asked in her cheeriest tone.
"Whole wheat."
"Alright, he's good." "What kind of cheese will I be grilling for you today?" she asked, putting on a super-duper-extra-cheery smile.
"Cheddar."
"...Really good." "Do you want hayfries or a milkshake with that?"
"No, thanks."
Something deep inside of Pinkie almost broke. Thankfully, she still had a backup plan for just this kind of non-smiling situation. Making sure to keep her smile in place, Pinkie pushed the secret red button on the side of the cash register. Immediately, confetti flew through the air in a wonderful explosion of fun that settled over the extremely startled stallion.
"Congratulations!" she shouted, shaking off a layer of glittering streamers. "You are the lucky winner of three free milkshakes!" The other customers cheered for him as Pinkie forced a coupon into his hooves along with the grilled cheese sandwich.
"Wow. Uh, thanks, I guess," he said as a shimmering wave of confetti rolled off his back and into the ocean of color below. Pinkie watched with barely restrained glee as the first signs of a smile began to show themselves. First, he chuckled a bit. Then, the corners of his lips began to twitch. In agonizing slowness, they went up, up, up... and stopped.
Pinkie Pie's jaw dropped as he turned and walked away. That wasn't a smile! That was like a half-smile. It didn't even deserve to be called a grin. It was terrible!
Pinkie felt her heart beating faster and a cold sweat began dripping down the back of her neck. Fear began to set in and she felt as if her legs could no longer support the burden of her terrible failure as a deliverer of smiles. Surely the Agent of Laughter would report her horrific failure and revoke her officiality of her status as an Official Party Pony!
"My life is ruined!" she thought.
"Pinkie Pie? Are you alright?" asked a soft voice as a hoof tapped her on the shoulder. Slowly raising her head, Pinkie Pie stared with watering eyes at her friend, Fluttershy, who always seemed to have a habit of conveniently being at the right place at the right time.
"I can't make ponies smile anymore," Pinkie said, sniffling loudly.
"That can't be true, Pinkie," Fluttershy said, resting a comforting hoof on her shoulder.
"It is!" Pinkie said, turning Fluttershy to look at the stallion who wouldn't smile. Fluttershy realized that he was, in fact, not smiling, which was unheard of on the premises of Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy didn't quite know what to say, so she gave Pinkie a gentle hug instead. Her action spoke loud enough.
"Thanks, Fluttershy," said Pinkie after a few tender moments had passed.
"You're welcome," Fluttershy replied, happy that she could help her friend feel better.
"I don't know what to do," Pinkie said, having found the strength to carry on. "I just want to see him smile, but it's looking like that will never happen. I've failed."
"Don't say that, Pinkie," said Fluttershy. "I'm sure you'll think of something. You always manage to pull through, somehow."
Her words reignited a spark deep inside of Pinkie that she thought had been snuffed out. In that moment, she felt purpose once more as a plan began to take hold in her mind.
"That's right! I always manage to think of something, and this time will be no different." Confidently, Pinkie broke off from Fluttershy's hug with a determined fire in her eyes. "I just need a few minutes to think of something so completely amazingly funny that it will make him weep with delight! I know just what I have to do now!"
Fluttershy smiled. "I'm happy I could-"
"Stall for time for me, Shy!" Pinkie shouted before turning into a pink blur. For a few moments, the world went dark and Fluttershy felt as if up and down no longer existed. She briefly felt the sensation of moving, but by the time she could question the miraculous event it was over. She found herself seated at a table with a milkshake in her hooves. Directly across from her was the strange stallion, who managed to both frown and gape in confusion at the same time.
Looking around, Fluttershy realized that Pinkie had completely vanished and left her alone. She shuddered and shrunk down a bit in the seat, silently vowing to get her friend to promise not to teleport her without permission.
Ten minutes later, Pinkie Pie numbly stumbled out of Sugarcube Corner's basement. She'd done it. She'd finally come up with the joke to end all jokes. It had taken nearly all of her mental strength and left her feeling weakened, but it would all be worth it to finally see that smile.
Making her way to the front of Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie stood on a table next to the cash register. She cleared her throat once, getting the attention of everypony in the room. Confident that they were all within hearing range but still a safe distance away, she closed her eyes, opened her mouth, and began telling The Joke.
The first few words cause some ponies to drop to the floor, unconscious. Their minds just couldn't handle that level of humor. Halfway through, another pony shouted "I'm not worthy!" and fell to the floor, covering her ears. As the joke neared the punchline, more ponies began dropping as the tension mounted.
"And that's why the chicken crossed the road!" said Pinkie, opening her eyes. Looking around, she realized that not a single pony was left standing. All who managed to remain conscious were in giggling fits on the floor, and even those no longer awake were still smiling. Unfortunately, neither Fluttershy nor the unsmiling stallion were in the building.
Wildly looking about, Pinkie caught sight of Fluttershy through the large window in the front of Sugarcube Corner. Dashing out front, she saw that Fluttershy was waving goodbye to the stallion from before, except... he was smiling!?
Fluttershy turned and faced Pinkie with what would be classified as a smug grin on anypony other than Fluttershy, whom everypony knew was incapable of such a thing. Pinkie found herself unable to put words to her thoughts for once, working her jaw back and forth as she tried to come up with something to say.
"But... how? How did you make him smile?"
"We talked," Fluttershy said. "He was tired and frustrated, but he felt better after having somepony to talk to."
Pinkie's eye twitched. "You just talked? That's it? No jokes, confetti, cake, or parties?"
Fluttershy nodded. Pinkie scratched her head in confusion. Awkward silence filled the air.
"So... Pinkie, what joke did you come up with?" Fluttershy asked to break the tension.
"I forgot," said Pinkie. She was feeling strange inside after having seen the stallion leaving with a smile that she hadn't caused. It wasn't a smile born from laughter, which confused her greatly. Instead, it was a smile that came directly from kindness. It left her with a conclusion that she had always known to be true, but hadn't really stopped to think about until just now.
"I guess making him laugh wasn't what was important, after all."
Author's Note
Ta da. The End! Actually, there is an optional epilogue. Not necessarily The End!
I wanted to write a story without some sort of climactic ending or grand resolution. I wanted something short and simple that resembled how a real conversation between two people would go in an event such as this. I hope that's how it turned out.
I like to think that the story went pretty well, but that's up to you. Please leave a comment and thumb up or down and let me know what you think!