Lunar Tendencies

by 20percentCujo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Slice of Life
Length: 1324

Classic Luna gaming fic from way back. Read at your own risk.

This story will be deleted on December 1st. For more information, please refer to this blog post.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-02 15:50:02 UTC

The Lone Chapter

High-pitched, screeching noises came from the desk. Since it was loaded with dozens, seemingly hundreds of rolls of parchment, alongside quilts and ink, its bending wasn't much to a surprise.

They weren't lined up or ordered in any particular fashion. To be plain, the entire place was a complete mess. Safe, maybe, for a small spot on the right. The only thing pushing down the wooden table from here was an empty, dark-blue coffee cup. In martially designed, white letters it displayed five words: Born to raise hell moon. But that was of no importance right now. All the coffee was gone already, and its energy had vanished some time back.

Besides, the pony who had consumed it, didn't have an eye for the pitiful scenery right now, anyways.

Anypony, who had been imprisoned for a thousand years, would have realized that paperwork can't make your day. It wasn't worth spending all your time on, either. After all, it would still wait to get finished tomorrow. Or another day. That's how it had been a millennium ago, how it was now, and how it would continue eternally.

Some other things in Equestria had changed much more drastically during those one thousand years of absence: Lifestyle and culture had been radically transformed, and could barely be compared to what they were like back then. Everypony, even the princess of the night, had their own opinions and values, by which they were affected. Some details of this brave new world may be found not that appealing, some may prove rather likable. Others, meanwhile, could be downright addictive. Among the latter was electronic entertainment.

It had only been a few weeks ago that Luna had first been informed about it. And even that had happened as more of a coincidence. She had briefly overheard a conversation between to guards discussing the topic. What had mostly grabbed her attention was nothing but a detail to them. But to her it proved much more than that, since it brought the whole matter to an utmost importance: Apparently, most ponies enjoying this modern world issue, did do so at night. And how could she, as princess of the night, not have herself one hundred percent informed about what her subjects were up to during her time of work?

Confidently, she had been walking up to one of them, curiously asking. “What art those 'video games' thou speakest of? We pray thee, tell us!”

They obviously had been a little unassured about what to answer. Her ancient way of talking hadn't made Luna's re-entrance into society any easier, even though she had made some noticeable progress since then. Still though, she had been patient with them, and would get her answers eventually, after which she concluded the conversation by saying: “Fetch us one o'these devices, go! 'tis of utmost importance for us to be aware of our subjects current affairs!”

They had obeyed her orders, even if she couldn't tell for sure, whether they took her serious, or not. Situations like these taught her, how to get herself to fit into society. She had since desperately tried to sound less demanding. And to drop the royal 'we', whenever mentioning herself.

Anyhow, the guards did as they were told, and soon afterwards, she had a small, black console and a dark-gray controller placed in her royal chambers. While initially her plan had merely contained looking through its features in order to better understand her citizens, gaming soon turned out as a delightful way of wasting precious time. Not extremely precious, if you're immortal, maybe. But still. The only thing she had to take care of was not to let her older sister know of her flaw. Tia didn't need to be aware of everything going on in Canterlot, and the chances of her approving were relatively low. Low enough for Luna at least, to keep this her little secret.

And why would she want to stop now? She had gotten pretty good at her new hobby ever since. Pressing a pattern of buttons was nothing her alicorn magic wouldn't prove capable of. When quick speed and reactions were required, magic was the only way to successfully get through most of the games she had tried so far.

Like the one she played right now. It was a role-playing one, which had been published shortly prior to her return from the moon. Not one of her favorites, but good enough to keep her distracted from work for some time. The main reason for her playing it was a recommendation she had gotten lately. She had been told the ending involved a short trip to the moon. Luckily for her, it hadn't been spoiled any further.

Luna really could imagine more interesting things than what she did right now. Yet, it did give her a welcoming stress relief. One she definitely needed after an entire morning of dry office work. She did take it for a serious task, of course. In harsh political times like these, everypony had to do their part.

But even an immortal alicorn princess couldn't keep up with that 24/7. And she had already promised herself, she'd get back to work eventually. Just another hour or so...

“Luna? Are you in here?” A shock ran through the dark alicorn's body. She had heard tens of thousands of different voices in her time, from ponies, as well as any other creatures. But her sister's she could filter out easily from all of them.

Celestia approaching her chamber wouldn't have been much of a problem, if some character in the game wouldn't have started talking this very instant. Nervously, Luna jumped up and headed for the door. “I'll be with you in a minute, sister. Just wait out there for now!” she shouted, trying to outdo the game voice in volume. She then turned back to the screen, hoping that whoever this guy was would be done talking by now. But considering her bad luck, she should have been able to tell what happened next: He started shouting himself.

“...LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD!!! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN...” that was about as far as he got, before Luna leaped over the sofa, panicking, almost crushing the muting button into oblivion with her forehoof. Lying on the floor like that, all her limbs randomly twisted around herself, she looked upwards. Oh, right, she thought, the horn...

It was to late either way. After a low “What the...” from the outside, the door swung wide open and Luna prepared herself for the worst. After a short but awkward silence, she heard the question she needed the least: “Seriously?”

She felt herself blush. Even though it was hardly visible under her dark fur, she figured this whole situation might just get a lot worse than she had thought. “We're in the midst of a political crisis and all you're putting up with is...that? Seriously?” Right, she repeated in her thoughts, …that...

Carefully, she stood back up. The smile on her face was faked all the way, but it did make her somewhat more comfortable looking into Tia's annoyed face. “Oh...hey there,” she stuttered. “What is it?” Unexpectedly for her, the older alicorn mare grew a lot more serious again.

“Our small issue from yesterday might turn out a lot worse than we imagined. It seems Discord has failed his task again, and joined forces with the enemy.” Luna gulped. That was not good news at all. “I have called for a special meeting of all alicorn princesses. Twilight and Cadance are on their way.”

“That's alright, I guess...”

“Meet me in the throne room in one hour. Oh, and...” Celestia hesitated for a moment, pointing at the video game's screen. “...we'll talk about that later.”

“Yes, sister,” Luna replied, resigning. She turned off the console, while Tia already went out through the door.

Well, maybe some other time...