A Regular Horse.

by beau101023

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Spike, Comedy
Length: 3213

A regular horse comes to Equestria. Shenanigans ensue.

For Twilight and Spike, it's just another ordinary day, until a "mysterious visitor" shows up.

Published 2014-09-04 00:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-18 01:04:48 UTC

Chapter 1

Author's Note

Welp, this is my first attempt at writing decent fanfiction, we'll see how it goes.

Chapter 1

“I wonder what we’re going to have for lunch when we get home,” said a very hungry Spike, looking pleadingly at Twilight.

“I’ll tell you when we get there,” Twilight said in a gruff, annoyed voice. This was the seventh time Spike had asked that in the past 5 minutes for Celestia’s sake!

Spike was getting hungrier by the second, the smell of the food Twilight had bought at the market was driving him crazy! “But Twilight!” Spike begged. “Can’t I have just a little bit of food?”

“Not until we get to the library,” Twilight reprimanded. “You aren't going to die of starvation, you know.” Spike just stared bleakly ahead, succumbing to his imagined fate.

“We’re home!” Twilight said, flinging the door wide open. Spike gave Twilight a strange look.

“Why’d you do that?” he asked.

“Why did I do what?” Twilight said quizzically.

“You told an empty room we were home,” Spike said, looking at Twilight blankly. Twilight turned a deep shade of red.

“It was just for dramatic effect!” she said hurriedly.

“What’s that?” Spike said, looking worried that he had missed the point. “Is that some magic ritual to make people faint?” Twilight groaned.

“Oh, forget it. I’m going to go into the kitchen to make some lunch,” Twilight said.

“Ooh! Can I come too?” Spike asked, looking giddy.

“No Spike. I don’t want you gobbling up my ingredients,” Twilight said teasingly. Spike just looked sullen, and headed to the living area.

Spike sat sadly on the couch. Twilight always said he ate too much, but he was a growing dragon. He needed that food! It wasn’t his fault he was a little overweight. As he absentmindedly twiddled his thumbs he thought he heard a sound coming from the closet, but he dismissed it as coming from his growling stomach. “Spike! lunch is almost ready!” He heard Twilight calling from the kitchen. Spike was in the kitchen before she finished the first word.

“What are we eating?!” he said enthusiastically.

“Oat burgers with hay fries,” Twilight replied with amusement. Spike groaned.

“Again?” he whined.

“Aaaaand…. A gem cake for dinner!” Twilight proclaimed with an air of showmanship.

“Really?” Spike’s eyes went wide. “AWESOME!” he yelled as he proceeded to do three laps around the kitchen before running out of breath. He grabbed Twilight’s legs in a tight hug, then slumped to the floor giggling.

“Geez, I knew you liked gems, but boy, you’re sure excited about this,” Twilight said, looking down at him as he lay on the floor. She helped him up from the ground and sent him off into the next room to set the table. As she finished preparing the food, she thought about all the time she and him had spent together, she had known him for so long they were practically family, and even though they weren't really related by blood, Twilight had always thought of him as her little brother… maybe even her son.

Twilight brought out the first course of the meal with a knowing grin on her face, as spike started devouring his first helping almost before it touched his plate. Almost since he was hatched, he had been a big eater. He always said he was a growing dragon, but his eating habit had added a few extra pounds to that. Twilight always tried to limit his food intake, but he would always find a way to sneak a little extra food, so she eventually just gave up on that idea. He always looked so happy when he was having a meal, especially on this particular day. “Leave some for me, Spike,” she said teasingly.

“I dunno…” Spike said slyly “I might eat it all if you don’t hurry and get some,”

“Well I guess I better grab it quickly.” Twilight said, well aware of the fate of her food if she didn't eat it soon. As she grabbed her food she could’ve sworn she heard a small noise coming from the living room, but she didn't think anything of it.

After they had finished their meal, Twilight decided to retire to the living room for some light reading, and Spike had gone over to a friend’s house to play. As Twilight was reading, she wondered if she had been a good enough guardian for spike over the years. Right in the middle of this most profound thought, she was suddenly interrupted by a loud crash coming from the broom closet, followed by what sounded like mad cackling. Twilight jumped from her chair, tipping it over in the process, and fled to the other side of the room in record time. “Spike? Is that you?” she asked with marked hesitance. There was no answer, not one sound emanated from the broom closet. Twilight was getting nervous now. “Whoever you are, come out!” she said, fear evident in her voice. Still, not a peep was heard from the old broom closet.

“I’m warning you! I’m well trained in Fu-Kung!” she said. Still no answer as Twilight crept up to the door. “Alright, you asked for it!” she yelled, then with one swift motion, she ripped the door open. “Aha!” Twilight said to the empty broom closet. “Huh? I could’ve sworn there was someone in here…” she said uneasily. She stared into the broom closet for another moment before shutting it with a puff of dust. “Well that was strange,” she said, turning around to go back to her book. “GAHH!” she screamed, looking up at the figure looming above her. After she had stopped hyperventilating, she realized it was only another pony. “You startled me sir,” she said breathlessly. The stallion in front of her just whinnied. “Wow. You’re a lot bigger than most stallions I've seen,” Twilight said. The large white stallion whinnied again. “You aren't much of a talker are you?” she asked. The stallion just looked at her curiously. “What’s your name?” she asked, wondering what he was doing wandering around the library. The stallion snorted. “Well I suppose it’s your business. I’m Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said, eyeing him curiously. “I haven’t seen you around Ponyville,” she said, “are you from out of town?” The stallion turned to the right, facing the kitchen. With one last glance in Twilight’s direction, he trotted briskly into the kitchen.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Twilight asked, wondering if the stallion had any food of his own. “If you want, I can get you something,” she said. The stallion looked blankly at Twilight, then pushed his muzzle up against the icebox. “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, irritated this rude stallion still wouldn't talk to her. As she was getting some (exceedingly rare) leftovers from the icebox, a profound thought occurred to her. “How exactly did you get here?” she asked. “I mean, I know the front door’s unlocked, but I didn't hear the entrance bell ring.” The stallion just looked at the food blankly. “Ugh. Never mind, here,” she set the food on the kitchen counter with a clunk. “You can eat this if you want,” she said, exasperated. “I don’t even know why I’m giving you this.” The stallion simply went to work on the food without a word.

“Twilight! I’m home!” Spike called into the library. That’s odd… Where is she? He thought.
“Twilight? Are you here?” He called again. Where could she be? He thought as he walked up the stairs. “Twilight!” He called, getting nervous. He walked back down the stairs, then turned to go into the kitchen. “There you are!” he said with relief as Twilight stood before him. “Why didn't you answer me when I called?” he questioned, a hurt look etched on his face.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn't hear you call, I was busy talking at our guest,” Twilight said with a hint of annoyance. Spike slowly realized there was another pony in the room, a rather big, muscular pony.

“Oh, Umm...” Spike said uneasily. “Hello there.” “So is he a friend of yours?” he asked Twilight awkwardly.

“No, I just met him 30 minutes ago,” Twilight said blandly, “and he doesn't talk at all.” she said, irked.

Weird, Spike thought. “Well that’s... interesting,” he said hesitantly, “but what’s he doing here?” he said quizzically. “No offense sir,” he added quickly.

“I... honestly have no idea,” Twilight said reluctantly, “he just came here, and wanted food for whatever reason, so I gave him some.”

“Huh,” Spike said. “but why come here for food?” Spike asked.

“No idea, I can’t get a word out of him,” Twilight said, sounding very irritated. “He just came in here, entered the kitchen, and shoved his muzzle up against the icebox, as if he can’t open it for himself,” she said angrily, “and after I so graciously feed him even though I live in a library, not a restaurant, he doesn't even speak to me once!” She ended, pointing a shaking hoof at the stallion in question. The stallion simply looked blankly at her. “And he’s been giving me this funny look ever since he got here!” She added breathlessly.

“Calm down Twilight, he can’t be that bad,” Spike said, mystified at her frustration. Just then, Spike noticed the empty plate of food sitting on the table. “Umm, Twilight?” He asked.

“What?” she replied.

“Did he eat everything in the icebox?” Spike inquired nervously.

“Pretty much. Why?” she asked.

“Where were you keeping the cake?” Spike asked, starting to sweat.

“In the iceb-oh… Oops…” Twilight said sheepishly
.
“You let him eat the cake?!” Spike said, horror evident in his voice.

“It was an accident!” Twilight said defensively.

“Oh man… That cake looked so good…” Spike said with deep sorrow.

“But wait…” Twilight said abruptly, interrupting Spike’s spiral into self-pity, “How did he eat the gems in the cake?” She asked with shock. They both turned slowly to look at the stallion. He just looked blankly back at them.

Chapter 2

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3

“So who do you think would be powerful enough to cast this spell, Spike?” Applejack said as the six of them stood in front of the Ponyville Library.

“I dunno… It would have to be a unicorn,” Spike said as he sat down on the grass

“I know that, Spike,” she said, giving him a bland look, “I meant specifically.”

“Oh, heh,” Spike said, “well… I suppose Rarity could do it...,”

“I don’t think so Spike, I’m just not that skilled,” Rarity said apologetically as she sat down next to him.

“Alright, who else?” Pinkie Pie said impatiently, leaning against the wall.

“Well there’s Vinyl, but I think she’s in Canterlot for a concert,” Spike said thoughtfully. “We could also ask Joe, but I think he’s even less powerful than Rarity.”

“Okay… So do we know anypony else who might be able to do it?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Well… The only one I can think of that’s powerful enough besides Vinyl would be… Trixie,” Spike said hesitantly.

“Ugh...” Rainbow Dash groaned, faceplanting into the grass. “Do we really have to ask Trixie for help? She’s such a jerk.”

“I know… but what other choice do we have?” Spike said flatly. “Besides, she really doesn’t like Twilight, so she’ll probably just say no.”

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Rainbow Dash said, getting up from the ground. “Does anypony actually know where Trixie is?”

“Uh… Oops, I forgot we actually need to find her first,” Spike said sheepishly.

“So let’s start looking already!” Pinkie said, pushing off from the wall energetically.

“Umm… Guys?” Fluttershy said quietly.

“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash said.

“I-If it’s alright with everypony,” Fluttershy said hesitantly, “I’m just going to stay here and take care of Twilight,”

“Alright, sugarcube,” Applejack said reassuringly, “we’ll be back soon.”

“Try not to have too much fun with Twilight while we’re gone!” Pinkie said slyly as a blush covered Fluttershy from head to hoof.

The five of them left Fluttershy stammering incoherently on the doorstep as Pinkie snickered and snorted uncontrollably, almost losing her balance.

“That really wasn’t very nice, Pinkie,” Applejack chided.

“Aww, I was just messing with her,” Pinkie said, sticking her tongue out at Applejack.

“Ah know you meant well, but you should apologise just the same for putting her on the spot like that,” Applejack said, giving Pinkie a meaningful look.

“I guess…” Pinkie said, her mane deflating slightly.

“Good. Now where should we look for Trixie first,” Applejack said, stopping to look around.

“Doesn’t she have her wagon thingymajig parked near the Whitetail woods?” Spike asked.

“I reckon so,” Applejack said. “Does anypony know where it is?”

“I remember seeing it on the side of the southern path leading out of the woods,” Rainbow Dash said, starting to walk down the path.

“Hold your horses,” Applejack said. “she moves around a lot, r-” Applejack was abruptly cut off by an outburst of laughter.

“Hehehe… Hold your horses,” Pinkie forced out between intermittent of laughter.

“Pinkie it’s not that fu-” Applejack was again cut off by Pinkie, as she dropped to the floor laughing.

“Ugh… Lets just go,” she said flatly.

Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity started for the woods, with Pinkie following soon after.

As they walked, Spike had a thought. “Hey guys? Do any of you remember where that one stallion went?” he asked with concern.

“What stallion?” Applejack replied curiously.

“You know,” Spike said, “The white one.”

Applejack looked at him strangely.

“The one with all those gray spots?” Spike said dryly.

She raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“And the red eyes?” Spike said, getting frustrated.

Spike could hear irritating cricket noises coming from somewhere in the distance.

“So no one’s ever even seen him?” he said with confusion.

“I haven’t,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Are you sure you aren’t just imagining this stallion?” Rarity said delicately. “You didn’t see him in a dream?”

“No!” Spike insisted. “Twilight and Pinkie saw him too, right Pinkie?”

“What?” Pinkie said distractedly, looking at a distant bird.

“Haven’t you seen a strange white stallion before?” Spike said desperately.

“I dunno,” Pinkie mumbled, continuing to stare at the bird.

“Aww man,” Spike grumbled. Just then, they rounded a bend in the path, and found themselves in front of an old shack that looked like it hadn’t been used in months.

“Hey guys, there’s Trixie’s cart,” Rainbow Dash called out. “It’s parked right next to that house.”

“If you could call it that,” criticized Rarity.

“So how are we going to do this?” Applejack said. “We really need her help.”

“We could always knock her out and drag her back to the library,” Rainbow Dash said mischievously.

“Now Rainbow, that’s no way to act, you are a lady after all,” Rarity said, much to Rainbow Dash’s annoyance.

“Pfft, lady, shmady,” Rainbow dash said flippantly, “I just want to get this done so I can go take a nap.”

“C’mon you guys!” Pinkie said suddenly. “You’re taking too long!”

“Alright,” Applejack said with an air of finality as she walked up to the front door. “let’s do this.”

The tension built as Applejack raised her hoof to knock on the door.

Everypony held their breath as it drew nearer.

It was a mere inches away.

But suddenly, KABOOM! There was a giant bang and a loud crash as the ponies were sent flying in a burst of confetti and smoke. From deep within the dingy shack they could hear somepony giggling like a little schoolfilly.

“Ugh…” Spike groaned.

“TRIXIE!” Rainbow Dash yelled in frustration as she jumped to her hooves. “Get out here right now!”

A snickering Trixie appeared from the darkness of the shack’s doorway. “Hah! Yet another prank pulled masterfully by the Great and Annoying Trixie!” she said as thunder clapped from somewhere in the distance.

Everypony looked at her dumbfoundedly. “Uhh… Did you just say ‘the Great and Annoying Trixie?’” Spike asked, looking like his brain was about to dribble out from his ear.

“That’s right,” Trixie said proudly. “Ever since that fateful day I fought Twilight Sparkle in glorious battle, I’ve learned there’s more to life than being great, you need to have a little fun too.”

At those words, Pinkie smiled so wide, everypony was sure the top of her head would come off her body

“I see you’ve been practicing your pranks, Trix,” she said, beaming as she trotted over and gave Trixie a hoofbump.

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on,” Spike said, looking like his head was about to explode, “you two are friends?”

“Well yeah,” Pinkie said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “we’ve been friends ever since Twilight beat her in that duel. I helped her set up some of those fireworks.”

“Huh…” Spike said lamely. “I guess stranger things have happened…”

“So why are you all here anyways?” Trixie questioned.

“Well, you see,” Spike started, “there was an… Accident, and Twilight lost her memory, so we need a unicorn who can cast a memory spell, and you seemed like a good choice.”

“Hehe. And what if I refuse?” Trixie said mischieviously.

“Then I’ll pound your face in,” Rainbow Dash said in a deadly calm voice.

“Alright, alright, geez, I’ll cast your stupid spell,” Trixie said uneasily as Rainbow Dash stared her down.

“Huh, that was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be,” Applejack said suspiciously. “You’re sure you aren’t going to play a nasty trick on us or somethin’?”

“Now why would I do something like that…” Trixie said slyly as Rainbow Dash gave her a dirty look.

“What’s with you two anyways?” Spike said. “You have some sort of grudge?”

“You could say that…” Rainbow Dash said through clenched teeth.

“She’s just jealous of my mad pranking skills,” Trixie said tauntingly.

“She poured a bucket of maple syrup on me!” Rainbow Dash said accusingly. “Do you know how many showers I had to take to get that out of my coat?”

“It was just for fun…” Trixie said, smirking.

“Why you little…” Rainbow Dash said as she advanced menacingly towards Trixie, pulling a bottle of maple syrup out of Pinkie’s mane.. “Let’s see how you like maple syrup all over you!”

“Hey!” Pinkie said, getting between the two. “That’s my maple syrup!” she said as she snatched it out of Rainbow Dash’s hooves. She narrowed her eyes as she tipped the bottle into her mouth. “This is only for drinking.” she gurgled through the syrup.

“Hey!” Applejack yelled, causing everypony to turn to her. “How’s about, we forget all this syrup business for now, and go back to the library to cast that spell.”

A small murmur of agreement went throughout the group.

“Okay, let’s get going,” Applejack said.

“Just a second,” Trixie said, trotting into her cart.

She came out a second later. “Okay, I’m ready to go!”

“What did you do?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“I just tucked Mister Stinky into bed,” Trixie said with a shrug.

“Who’s… Mister Stinky?” Applejack said cautiously.

“He’s my pet rock,” Trixie said casually.

The horse was in pain.

Horrible, horrible pain.

It longed for relief.

…

…

...

It found relief on the living room rug.