Agent Pie: Never Reveal Your Secrets

by Fluttashifty

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Sunset Shimmer, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Mayor Mare, Trixie
Length: 5750

Pinkie Pie works as a secret agent for Mayor Mare, hunting down criminals, but she's asked to look into a shady company that will send her on a journey unlike any before.

Pinkie Pie leads an exhausting double life as a student at Canterlot High and a secret agent working for Mayor Mare. After thwarting a certain crime kingpin of chaos, Pinkie is asked to look into Argon Corp, a shady corporation thought to be a place for scientific advancement. The head of the corporation is after something ancient, something magical. Pinkie is thrown into an investigation that links Argon to the kidnapping of a CHS student, but may lead her and two surprising allies to the Casket of Messoerm and the long lost source of human magic!

Edited By: mattstheman

Rated Teen for mild language, action sequences, and crude humor(like sex jokes and stuff)

Published 2014-09-04 07:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-04 07:10:02 UTC

Chapter One: Before The Bell Rings

Agent Pie:

Never Reveal Your Secrets

Chapter One: Before The Bell Rings

Written by: Fluttashifty

Our story begins as all stories do, with your normal day filled with simple, dull things. A shining sun basking half the earth in golden light while the moon dimly lit the opposing side of the globe. Everyone went about their daily routines, working, attending school, dating, hanging out, and so on. However, for the likes of Pinkamena Diane Pie, not a single day was purely average. Thanks to her overly cheery and happy-go-lucky personality who some may mistake for schizophrenia along with being a superspy, everday was an eccentric challenge for Ms. Pie. We join our hero as she communicates via cupcake cellphone with one of her closest friends while in a firefight while pursuing the crime kingpin of chaos, Discord.

“I’ll totally be there before the bell rings Rarity. It’s not like I’m tied up in gunplay or anything,” the cheery voice of Pinkie said into the phone as she unloaded the clip of a Glock-9 and hurriedly ducked back behind the steel crate she was using for cover. Bullets collided with the box, ricocheting off.

“I honestly couldn’t tell if that was a joke, darling. It sounds like you are in some sort of firefight, dear,” the fancy voice of her purple-haired, fashion-loving friend responded, worry heavy in her voice.

“No way, no how! Those aren't even gunshots, I’m making popcorn silly,” Pinkie smiled as she changed magazines and cocked the gun back.

“Popcorn?” Rarity questioned in disbelief, but sighed and said, “Okay, just make sure you’re on time so we can meet before class.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie nodded as she hung up the oddly shaped phone and stuffed it into her black leather jacket.

You wouldn’t take the pink-skinned charismatic girl for a superspy, the sleek black leather jacket, tight-fitting pink leather pants, and brown loafers weren’t even her usual attire. On a normal day she wore her usual white and blue sleeved t-shirt with a heart designed on it, a short pink skirt with a balloon symbol on the right, and blue boots. Her dark pink hair normally worn frizzy and poofy was straightened and covered one of her blue eyes. The girl was spontaneous, fun, and easy-going, always seeing the fun in any situation. Most would consider her simply overhappy and not a female James Bond. That was the beauty of it. No one would expect it and that’s how she wanted it, for it’s wise to keep some secrets from ever becoming known.

Glancing to her right side, she saw another steel crate. Quickly, Pinkie darted toward it narrowly avoiding the erupting gunfire. She pressed her back against the cold steel crate, waiting for her opponents to run out of ammunition. Pinkie found herself in a shipping warehouse located on the Canterlot City Docks. It served as a front for Discord’s drug and arms dealing businesses. Pinkie’s ears nearly perked up when she heard the clicks of the empty weapons. Shooting up from behind the crate, she aimed at the suit and tie wearing thugs reloading their weapons. She opened fire blowing down the remaining few thugs in her way.

Pinkie stood up and gazed around the shipping complex. Wooden and steel boxes were stacked up in piles around the warehouse. Green dollies used to move the boxes laid up against the right poplar hardwood wall. The entire place was built with this kind of wood or at least that’s what Pinkie gathered from the mission report. The girl was standing on the steel grated catwalk above the first floor. It formed a large square and on the opposing side was a door. The iron door that led to the office of the crime kingpin of chaos. One would consider it strange for the office to be placed so high up when there wasn’t even a second floor, but they wouldn’t now odd Discord truly was.

Pinkie’s loafers clacked as she ran towards the door. Quickly, she checked the blue balloon shaped watch on her right wrist. Just enough time to take this guy down and make it to school before the bell rings. Maybe I could stop for some cupcakes too, that phone always makes me hungry. She clutched the gun with both hands and swiftly kicked open the door.

The room was covered in gold paint and a silver chandelier hung in the center, basking the room in candlelight. Exquisite foreign rugs covered the hardwood floor. Two grey filing cabinets sat on opposite sides of the oakwood desk Discord sat behind. Papers were piled upon said desk as well as a golden nameplate that read DISCORD. A garbage pail sat on the right of the desk while a fake plant on the left. Behind the desk, hanging on the wall, was a large glimmering gold framed portrait of the Starship Enterprise.

“I always did enjoy good science fiction,” came the voice of Discord who lazily swirled around in his chair to face Pinkie. The man was oddly deformed with a wicked smile spreading from ear to ear. He had two horns on his head, rumored to have been surgically attached. One horn was reminiscent of a dragon’s while the other was a simple deer antler. His eyes were ruby red, his skin a light grey, and he had thick, white, bushy eyebrows. Discord wore a brown suit and tie, formal pants colored half yellow and half green and dress shoes. “So, Agent Pie, I presume?”

Narrowing her brow, Pinkie stomped her foot to reiterate her entrance, “Yes, I am indeedy,” Her head bobbed up and down as if she was agreeing with her own statement.

“Indeedy?” Discord mocked, chuckling to himself, “So, Mayor Mare sends high schoolers to do her dirty work, huh?” He sighed, “And here I thought I was much more of a threat.” He frowned and then broke into a fit of laughter at that.

“You better just give up now before I have to go James Bond on your butt, mister!” Pinkie proclaimed, a confident smile spread across her face.

“This is priceless!” Discord’s laughter grew louder and throatier. “You really think you can stop a crime kingpin?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Pinkie checked her watch, “You’re gonna make me late. You wouldn’t like me when I’m late.” Pinkie gritted her teeth acting as though she’s about to hulk-out just from making the reference.

As Pinkie had checked her watch, the keen kingpin saw his chance. Discord swiftly grabbed the gun out of the strap attached to the underbelly of the desk and pointed it at Pinkie. “As an agent, you should know not to let your guard down, Ms. Pie.” He smirked, ushering her to drop her weapon.

Pinkie raised her hands, letting the gun drop to the floor. “Dang it, always distracted.” She spotted a balloon floating outside, passing by the window. “Look,” Pinkie pointed, “A balloon!”

Discord laughed sarcastically, “I most certainly am not going to fall for something so stupid and childish.” He shook his head, keeping the smirk on his mug.

“You’re stupid and childish!” Pinkie shouted back.

“No, you’re stupid and childish!” Discord slammed his fist on the desk.

“Na-uh!” Pinkie shook her head.

“Yes, you are!” Discord felt just about done with Pinkie’s antics at the moment and sighed while turning to his favourite portrait on the wall in a plea to get away from this crazed menace. It was a beautifully painted Star Trek Enterprise. But something glared red out of the corner of his eye and he quickly reared his head back to see what kind of threat the sudden red imposed on him, but nothing, nothing but Pinkie’s tongue stuck out at him. His nerves put to ease, he quickly returned to reality with a piercing shout from Pinkie.

“No way! You’re loco!”

“Enough!” Discord voice became penetratingly loud, “You’re an immature, horrible agent who is about to get shot by the crime kingpin of chaos!” Suddenly, he gasped as cold steel met his temple. In Discord’s angered rant, he had closed his eyes. That’s when Agent Pie saw her chance.

With the gun to his temple she said, “Really? It doesn’t look like I'm going to get shot. Do you have a secret gun attached to your leather jacket too?”

“I’m not even wearing a leather jacket… Nevermind, you’ve got me Ms. Pie.” Discord actually sounded defeated for a split-second until he slowly turned the gun now pressed against his forehead. “Except, I’m going to blow this place sky high!” He went into a laughing fit. He placed his left hand on the barrel, pressing the gun harder against his head. “Go on, do it! Blow us all up! How I love the chaos, the tension, the drama! Oh, it’s almost too much to bear!”

Pinkie gasped as she saw the trigger in his hand. “Like right now? That’s kind of stupid, you’re here too silly.”

“No, not right now! It’s a trigger to a timer that will detonate the bomb!” Discord growled sounding slightly annoyed. “How on Earth did you become a secret agent?”

“Well, first, I got asked by Mayor Mare to join because of my people skills, and then I took a test, and then I went through training…” She began but Discord cut her off with a shout.

“It was rhetorical!”

The whirring of a chopper could be heard just outside. A rope dropped from said chopper waiting for Discord just outside the window. He glanced toward the window and let out a hearty laugh. “Here’s my ride,” He pressed the red trigger button and swiftly took Pinkie’s gun. Discord tossed the gun across the room and smacked Pinkie across the face. She fell with a meaty thud to the floor. Darting toward the window, Discord opened it, seizing his chance for escape..

“Ow!” Pinkie rubbed the red mark on her left cheek, “Didn’t your mommy ever teach you not to hit girls?”

“Goodbye Agent Pie!” Discord called, waving from the rope as he disappeared out of view.

The middle of the desk opened up, papers falling to the floor. A bomb rose out of the desk. The digital time read 1:00 and began counting down.

0:59

0:58

Pinkie quickly got up and grabbed her weapon. Running as if her life depending at it, her feet seemed to match the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog as she raced out the door. Pinkie Pie had strange, unexplainable abilities. She wasn’t a super hero nor a mutant, but the sugar-high personality of Pinkie just made such unimaginable things possible. It was as if she was a cartoon, or something. Bursting through the door, Pinkie hurriedly glanced around the room wearing a goofy smile as she often did. Upon inspection, she saw basically what she previously had, but she noticed the lamps hanging down and shining light upon the cemented floor below.

Spontaneously she began leaping up and down in a joyful way. Bouncing like a bubble for no apparent reason, the girl was keenly preparing for an act of action heroineism. Pinkie just had a very drug-addicted happy attitude to everything she did, some even thought she was stupid or mentally challenged. That didn’t bother Pinkie Pie though, nothing did! As she jumped up and down the bomb continued it’s doom impending countdown.

0:38

0:37

Pinkie leapt to the first wire of the lamp and began swinging. Back and forth she went, until she leapt to the next lamp wire. Two more, come on Pinkie. I’m in the zone, totally undistracted, Indiana Jonesing. Nothing could possibly distract me from this moment. Nothing at all. Except the ringing of her self phone signaling a call. With her left hand she continued swinging, while with her right the girl miraculously answered her phone. “Hello, Agen… I mean, Non-Agent Pinkie Pie, here,” she sing-song-ingly answered her phone, her sights still aimed at the next lamp wire.

“Pinkie, gosh darnit, where are ya?” A female voice carrying a strong southern accent questioned her whereabouts. It was none other than Applejack, another one of her most trusted friends. “We all been waitin for ya.”

“I know, and I’ll be there before the bell rings. I Pinkie promise. Would I Pinkie Promise and lie, if I was Pinkie Pie? Hey that rhymed, like Zecora!” Pinkie spoke at a lightning fast speed as she leapt to the next wire.

“Ah, right. If you say so.” Applejack confusingly agreed.

“Anything else?” She asked dangling on the final lamp wire.

“Nope. See ya soon then.” Applejack hung up as Pinkie landed on a stack of boxes and happily leapt down as if the boxes made a staircase, humming happily to herself. And as she made it out of the building, the bomb continued it’s cataclysmic countdown. And as the action film cliche usually goes, it was only a second away. (I guess that’s Pinkie, never one to disappoint)

0:01

0:00

The warehouse behind her erupted into a ball of flame. Wooden debris flew past her as she casually walked away from the building. A large sign reading Lobster King Shipping Industries crashed into the water. Splintering wood erupted behind Pinkie. At the speed of light, she began dashing forward, leaving a streak of pink in her wake. The explosion had rocked the foundation and now it was collapsing behind her. On her right was a mini-submarine, Pinkie aptly named Gummy as it was painted like an alligator. Leaping into it, a sleek black, tinted top closed over her. It was a human sized submarine, comfy pink cushions surrounded every inch of the interior except the small tablet sized computer in front of her.

The computer lit up and in black boxes the options were listed in green lettering Comms. Nope. Party Cannon. Nope. Tracking. Yuppers! Pinkie tapped the screen and up popped the active trackers she had. During Pinkie’s random mumblings, she placed a tracker in Discord’s pocket when she stuck her tongue out at him. It showed a small red dot and a gps of her location. In the right hand corner was her miles away from it. Pinkie flipped a red switch to the right of the computer and the engine fired up. It roared as the small rotator began twirling around. The Gummy descended into the darkness of the ocean. The ‘eyes’ painted on the front of the sub were in fact the lights. Shining brightness revealed the secrets of the ocean.

Fish swam by and Pinkie waved. She tapped weapons on the computer and armed the subs missile launcher. A camera of the clear blue sky above her popped up as the back of the sub opened up and revealed a small missile silo. Pinkie watched the miles away. The closer she got, the closer her finger was to the trigger. When it finally read zero, she saw the underbelly of the helicopter Discord had escaped on. Pinkie slammed her itchy trigger finger down upon the button.

A small flame erupted out of the backside of the missile. The clamps around it released and off it blasted. It instantly traveled upwards and bursted out of the water like a hungry shark seeking human prey. On impact, the helicopter exploded into smithereens. All aboard were incinerated alive. “Like Lake Placid with a missile. Come on Gummy, let’s get to school via sewer system. it’s funny to be part of an urban legend.” Pinkie giggled.

“Yes, Ms. Pie,” A male robotic voice spoke via intercom built into the computer.

__________________________

“Well, that figures,” A hoarse voice of an elder man spoke. He switched off the flat screen television he was watching. He was old and wrinkly with a large nose. His skin was a lime green and he wore a purple suit and red tie and khakis with a gold belt. The old man was grossly overweight and coughed into a handkerchief quite often. “This guy, Discord, had a few loose screw, eh?”

A slim doctor with thick-rimmed glasses, wearing a white lab coat and white pants stood before him. “Uh…,” He nervously adjusted his glasses. “Yes sir, he was a rather expected disappointment, however,” He placed the file he was clutching with both hands on the see-through glass table of his boss.

The elderly boss finished his coughing fit and placed the handkerchief in his breast pocket. “What’s this, another psychopath?” He raised his brow.

“No, on the contrary, more of something along the lines of Ms. Pie. Rather, a mercenary, bounty hunter if you will. Her name is Trixie Lulamoon.” The doctor answered in his low voice.

“Lulamoon, eh? She some kind of agent of something? What's her, erm, how you say, qualifications?” The man leaned back in his black cushioned chair, folding his liver-spotted hands.

The doctor smirked, “Well, Mr. Argon, Trixie’s otherworldly counterpart is a unicorn which makes her Mage compatible. We can use the machine I’ve built to transfer that magic to the human Trixie. Then, we have the power of Equestrian magic.” He responded, adjusting his glasses.

“Equestrian magic, ha! We once had something much more powerful. It was taken from us, laid away ages ago. never to have been discovered. How will she help? At least this Discord fruitloop had military connections.”

“Yes, true,” The doctor nodded, “but, we can use Equestrian Magic to study and while we keep Agent Pie off our backs, we can trace the source of human magic and… her.” He explained.

“Ah, I see,” The ran rubbed his gray stubbled chin, “Get this Trixie and transfer the magic. We need to find that coffin, Dr. Rubius” Argon said.

“As you wish,” Rubuis bowed and collected the file, “All Hail Messorem.” With that he left the office.

______________________

Canterlot High was more like a college university than a high school. It was quite an exquisite building. The school had two floors and two wings stretching the size of seemingly two schools rather than one. A large circular road led to the front staircase. Golden horse heads were built around the roof, one on each edge of the roof and one on the arch high above the entrance. Windows were plentiful around the entire school. The purple covered bricks were complemented by a large glass dome upon the roof along with a built in clock tower.

Sitting on the circular patch of grass against the porcelain statue of a horse close to the school’s entrance, were Pinkie’s friends. The first was a mustard and ketchup haired girl wearing a leather jacket and pink t-shirt with a sun symbol design and wearing an orange and purple skirt. The next was a blonde haired girl which was tied at the end who wore a stetson, cowboy boots with three red apples designed on them along with jean skirt, white t-shirt, green ascot, and a belt with an apple buckle. The third had rainbow colored hair, wearing a blue unzipped jacket, a white tee with a rainbow colored lightning bolt design, a pink and white skirt covering gym shorts, along with blue boots. The fourth had pink hair, covering one of her sea-green eyes as she pet a small white rabbit sitting in her lap. She wore a green skirt with a three butterfly design, green boots and a plain white shirt. Finally the last girl stared back at herself through a small mirror. The girl had styled purple hair, wore a white dress shirt, a purple skirt with a three diamond design, a black belt with a diamond buckle, and purple boots.

Pinkie had changed now wearing her usual attire and her hair style in the normal poofy way. A large ear to ear smile was plastered on her face as she waved at them. Noticing her, they all waved back. Then, as her Pinkie Promise predicted, the bell rang. All five of her friends jaws dropped to the floor as they stared at her in disbelief.

“What?” She shrugged, “I said before the bell rings.”

“Yeah, you did, we just didn’t believe you’d make it,” Sunset, the first girl, said.

“Never doubt the power of Pie!” Pinkie raised her finger in the air triumphantly.

“Riiight,” Dash looked at Pinkie as if she was crazy, “Anyway, we should probably get to class. We have gym and I know I’m totally gonna rock at dodgeball.”

“D-d-dodgeball?” Fluttershy spoke in almost a whisper. Her eyes filled with fear at the thought of the wretched game of pain. “That’s today. As in today, today.”

“Yes, darling, I despise the game as much as you, Fluttershy. So barbaric,” Rarity said.

“It ain’t so bad,” Applejack replied in her southern accent, shrugging, “Heck, better dodgeball than running laps all the live long day.”

“Better get going class is about to start,” Sunset pointed out. All the girls nodded in agreement. Like all the other students, they headed toward the front entrance to begin their monotonous day of high school.

__________________

In the girls locker room, Trixie had finished dressing. She was wearing a wizard-esque pointy hat and a blue magicians cape. As always, a confident, yet egotistical smile was plastered on her face. Three young girls stood in front of her. Applebloom, sister of Applejack, Scootaloo, as good as an adopted sister to Rainbow Dash, and Sweetie Belle, sister of Rarity. All three simply stared at her unimpressed.

“So, what’s the trick?” Sweetie asked in a high-pitched cheery but squeaky voice.

Trixie held her hand out, “Please, do not interrupt Trixie while she is preparing for her big moment.”

“Jeez,” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, sarcasm evident in her voice.

Trixie pulled out a magicians top hat. “Watch as the Great and Powerful Trixie pulls a rabbit out of thin in from within this hat!” Cockiness and ego were heavy in her over dramatic performance.

“Ah reckon ah’ve seen that one,” Applebloom said.

Scootaloo nodded in agreement, “A little old school, Trixie.”

“Do not interrupt the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie snapped, gritting her teeth.

“Okay, okay, whatever” Scootaloo reluctantly agreed.

Trixie reached her blue skinned hand into the hat. She reached around and acted as if she had found something. With a gasp, she asked, “And what's this?”

“Oh, Oh, I know,” Sweetie leapt up and down, waving her hand.

Groaning, Trixie sarcastically asked, “Yes, Sweetie Belle?”

“A rabbit?”

“Correct!” Trixie pulled out a batter stuffed rabbit out of the hat.

“Uh, Trixie, ya do know that’s a stuffed rabbit right?” Applebloom pointed to it, her and Scootaloo exchanging confused glances.

“I-It’s not!” Trixie defended, rubbing her neck, “It’s just,” she cleared her throat as she thought of an excuse, “I have transformed the rabbit from inside the hat into a stuffed one!”

“Can we see you do it outside the hat?” Scootaloo asked, smirking, and raising a brow.

“Uhm, no it drains most of the great and powerful Trixie’s magical energy.”

The three rolled their eyes and left the locker room. As they left, Trixie heard the smart remark from Scootaloo. It rang in her head, as all the mean comments did though she tried not to show it, hiding behind her ego-centric mask.

“She’s not even talented.”

“Ha! A magician, the girl can’t even perform fake tricks!”

“More like the Not-so-great and non powerful Trixie. Ha! What a loser! No wonder she has no friends.”

Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, but she quickly wiped them with her sleeve. Screw them! Trixie is the best, none are better! They’re peasants compared to my greatness! Suddenly, she heard the opening of a locker.

She turned to see two benches and a row of lockers, leading to the shower. There wasn’t a single living thing in the room. Slowly and cautiously she walked toward the open locker a few feet from her.

“If this is a joke, Trixie is not amused!” She shouted.

“It’s not Ms. Lulamoon,” a hoarse voice replied.

Trixie jumped in terror, but before she could turn around to see who the culprit was, something dark covered her eyes. Dr. Rubius was the culprit, slamming a bag over her head and dragging her to the shower. He pulled a small explosive trigger out of his coat pocket. His scrawny finger pressed the trigger and a small explosion sent the shower room outwards. Brick and tile debris flew onto the dew-ridden grass outside.

Bright rays of sun shone in upon the room, revealing a white van with it’s doors open parked on the field, deserted during lunch periods. Trixie struggled, her cries muffled by the bag placed over her face. Rubius knocked her unconscious and threw the limp girl over his shoulder.

“Let’s show this world what real magic looks like,” He said, a wicked smile spread from one ear to the other. Quickly, he darted for the van, before the authorities showed up. He had a short window and had to keep with the schedule as his contact in Equestria should have picked up the pony version.

The doctor tossed Trixie into the van. He climbed in and closed the doors. Signaling the driver he said, “Let's hurry, we have a schedule to keep.” The driver nodded and the vehicle jerked into motion.

______________

The turquoise colored rug complimented the room Pinkie found herself in well. She sat in a single hardwood chair, in front of a massive desk. To her left and right were purple-tiled cabinets with a small glass bookshelf built into the top. Large green plants sat on both sides. Hanging behind the mayor was a portrait of the entire city. Below the portrait was another desk stacked with important files, folders, and documents. An ivory lamp with a clear lampshade sat to the right of the desk. Above Pinkie was a whirring ceiling fan, the feeling of cooling wind basking her and the mayor.

An elderly woman with glasses sat behind the desk, reviewing Pinkie’s mission report. She wore a light yellow dress shirt and work pants. Her purple eyes were trained on every written word, darting back and forth. Finally, the mayor put down the paper and cleared her throat.

“So, Agent Pie, you once again, didn’t apprehend the villain, but killed him.” The mayor stated bluntly.

“Yuppers,” Pinkie nodded, holding the patented Pinkie smile.

The Mayor picked up the file and read, “And it says in your report and I’m taking this from what you said, I couldn’t have caught him because he was flying his U.F.O into space, so I fired a missile out of an alligator and blew him into chunks.” The mayor rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Pinkie, “Is that correct?”

Pinkie nodded, bouncing in glee in her chair. “Yeah, who knew deformed people were actually aliens, right?” She giggled.

“Was this ‘U.F.O’ as you call it a helicopter Pinkie?” The mayor asked as if she already knew the answer, narrowing a brow.

“Umm… maybe, it’s so hard to tell the difference. Sometimes I mix-up Ice Cream Trucks with the cafeteria.”

“Ms. Pie!” The mayor slammed her fist on the desk, “This work is serious. I only recruited you because of your father’s contributions to this community and no matter how many times we train you, you always kill the bad guys!” Her face reddened in anger.

“But, they are bad guys.” Pinkie pointed out, her smiling turning into a frown. What’d I do wrong? I got the mission all completed.

“Yes, they are,” She rubbed the bridge her nose, “But, there are bigger and nastier bad guys, that a small time crime lord like Discord could have connections too. There’s also something called the law. He needed to stand trial, Pinkie.”

“Oh, okay, so next time shoot him in the leg so he can’t stand in trial, A ha!” Pinkie slammed her fist into her palm, her face with an expression like she had just cracked a huge case wide open.

“No! Don’t shoot the leader. Apprehend him. The others, unless the mission says otherwise, you can shoot wherever you’d like.” The mayor tried to explain it as simply as she could, feeling as if she had dropped a few digits in her IQ.

Pinkie simply nodded, “Don’t shoot the leader, okay.” She groaned as if a party had been ruined.

“Now,” The mayor stood up and turned, seeking a file on the desk behind her, “we do have another mission for you, however.”

“Ooh, Ooh, what is it? One with more shooting?” Pinkie asked, her bounciness returning and her wide grin forming.

Mayor Mare sighed, “No, not exactly. This one requires more stealth.”

“Awww, that sounds way boring. Can’t I just go in guns blazing like Rambo?”

“If this was the 80s, maybe. But,” she turned around shaking her head, her grey hair swaying back and forth. “no. Argon, that corporation with the huge skyscraper in the center of the city, is becoming questionable in their motives.” She finished as she sat back down behind her desk.

“What kind of questions do I ask. Want to play Russian Roulette?” Pinkie inquired more about her job tasks in that Pinkie Pie kind of way.

“No shooting!” The mayor snapped, “I have half a mind to take your guns away right now, but you may need it. Now,” she cleared her throat, “here’s the file on everything we have on them. We think they’re doing illegal research involving human testing, possibly selling weapons as well.”

“I’ll buy some, how much?”

“Focus!”

“Right,” Pinkie shook her head and giggled, “continue, m’lady.”

Shaking her head, Mayor Mare did as Pinkie said, “Security is airtight and as I stated they have weapons, possibly WMDs. We need you to pose as an employee and expose them, so Canterlot PD can take them down.”

Pinkie nodded, “Okie dokie lokie.” She checked her watch, “Lunch is almost over, better hurry.” In a flash, Pinkie arrived at the front entrance of Canterlot High.

“How?” The Mayor whispered to herself.

________________

Blue and red lights reflected off the glass doors of Pinkie’s high school. Sirens sounded from down the street. Pinkie turned around to see a cop car parked in front of the school. An officer got out. He was short and chubby with a mustache. His hair was short and blood red. Slowly, he waddled up the front steps.

“Afternoon,” the nasally voiced cop said, “Excuse me miss.”

“Umm, officer, what’s going on exactly?” Pinkie asked confused, “Is there some kind of special suprise police party i don’t know about?”

The cop gave a hearty chuckle, “No, ma’am, we got a call from your principal about the possibility of an abducted student.”

Pinkie’s jaw nearly collided with the ground. “What!” She shockingly shouted, “How? When? Why?”

“Lotta questions there, Miss. I just arrived. We’ll know more when we investigate and talk to Principle Celestia. Now,” He pointed a chubby finger to the door, “if you’ll excuse me.”

“Right, sorry, Mister cop,” Pinkie stepped away from the door and watched as the officer disappeared into the school and down the hallway. More cars pulled up causing Pinkie to spin around.

Just what is going on? Who would abduct someone from Canterlot High? More importantly, who would abduct someone from Canterlot High while I was at the Mayor’s office? Something’s smells fishy and unless it was that cops aftershave, I’m willing to bet it’s business for Agent Pie! Pinkie always jumped to this conclusion even if she was wrong. Something she called a ‘Pinkie Sense’.

_________________________

Blinding light, smoke, a wheelchair. Blurred vision hit Trixie like a hangover. She squinted and slowly her vision became clearer. Her heart began to pound her chest, fear filling her body, gripping it. Shock hit her like a brick house and she was almost an ice sculpture in pose. Trixie was trapped within the glass confines of a large capsule. The green ball above attached to it’s top, glew dimly.

Outside, the capsule was Mr. Argon sitting in his metallic hovering wheelchair. He breathed in the smoke from the lit cigarette in his right hand. Next to him was Rubius cleaning his glasses with a silk white cloth. The old man in the wheelchair went into another coughing fit. Instinctively, he grabbed the handkerchief in his breast pocket. It almost sounded as if he was hacking up a lung.

“When can we start?” Argon asked, placing his coughing aid back in his pocket.

Placing his glasses back on his pimple-ridden face, the doctor said, “Now, actually.”

Argon chuckled, coughing in between laughs. “Good. Very good.”

The capsule Trixie was being held in was connected with long snaking wires down to a gigantic machine. Three red levers at the top, blinking buttons in the middle, and a large keyboard all built into the floor with Cloudsdale Steel, toughest in the entire world, almost unbreakable. Another capsule was connected to the machine on the left hand side. A blue-furred, white maned, purple eyed unicorn stood in the same deer-in-headlights pose, the human version of her did.

“We can begin the magic transfer while Agent Pie snoops around like the moron she is,” Rubius said, flipping the first switch and then clacking away on the keyboard.

A woman stepped out of the shadows. “Agent Pie isn’t a problem. Her sister, Maud, however, may prove a challenge.” The elderly voice said.

The old man grinned wickedly, “Oh, she will be taken care of, Mayor Mare, both of them will. It’s only a matter of time.” He twisted his head around to face her. “They don’t know their both agents, eh?”

“No,” She smiled the same villainous smile, “And let’s keep it that way.”

The human Trixie began banging on the glass and yelling. The sound-proof glass made her cries oblivious as if she had no voice. The unicorn Trixie’s horn lit aglow with an aura of pinkish energy. She blasted a ray of magical energy at the glass. It did not shatter, nor crack, in fact, there wasn’t even a scratch on it. No help was coming. Evil had plagued the world as it often does and who’s to stop it?

Agent Pie File #1

Never Reveal Your Secrets

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy! Also, if you want the whole James Bond style, the theme I picked for this is You Already by Vado. Yes, I like rap music, anyway, there's explicit lyrics for those who are sensitive to that kind of stuff.