Twilight Sparkle Gets High and Eats All of Her Books

by TheExhaustedBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1597

Twilight experiences the effects of inhaling cannabis smoke, for science of course.

What happens when Twilight confiscates all of Spike's marijuana and lets her curiosity get the better of her? What happens when she encounters the effects of the aforementioned drug?

Published 2014-09-29 22:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 22:10:03 UTC

Just one wont hurt, right?

Tick... tock... tick... tock...

Twilight lowered her book to look up at the clock. 12:59. If Spike wasn't back in two minutes, Twilight would unlock the gates of Tartarus upon the tardy dragon.

Time seems to slow down to a pathetic crawl when one waits for something to happen and this was no exception. A few months ago, Spike had been staying out late and seemed to be avoiding any interaction with her. Now she's at her wits end. A serious talk with Spike about his strange behaviors needed to happen.

While Spike was out, yet again, Twilight decided to think of a way to best approach the subject at hoof (or claw). She had just short of a million questions to ask, but using her better judgement, realized that there is no use in trying to force the information out of him, he'd become resentful and make an already challenging process, much more painful.

Before she could come up with any good ideas, Spike burst through the door laughing. His eyes met with Twilights' and his smile quickly turned into a frown.

"Spike, you mind filling me in on where you've been and why you're home far past when I told you to be home?" Twilight crossed her forelegs and raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno," Spike shrugged, "having fun with friends, I guess."

"Spike, we both know that was a rhetorical question. You were with those Flim Flam brothers."

Spike tensed up and felt like a cold bucket of water was poured over his face.

Twilight shook her head and sighed, "I know you're growing up and you want to express your independence to the world. However, as long as you're living in this house, I cannot allow you to express yourself in that way." Twilight extended her hoof, "Hoof it over."

Spike shrugged and put his claws in his jacket pockets, "Hoof what over?"

"Spike, we can play this game all night. Give me what you got from the Flim Flam brothers and I'll let this little encounter slide. I know you have it. Now give it to me."

Spike knew he wouldn't be able to push his luck any farther. Reluctantly, Spike pulled his left claw out of his pocket and with it, a small plastic bag. He tossed it on the floor and started walking up the stairs to his room.

The two said nothing and Twilight watched as the teenage dragon disappeared over the last step.

Twilight rubbed her temple with both of her hooves and stared down at the plastic bag with disbelief and disappointment. She knew that Spike was growing up and would eventually start trying new things. She just had trouble accepting it.

Twilight had never used any substances of any kind. She had a taste of alcohol once before but found the taste to be too bitter for her and she swore she would never have a drink. However, this wasn't alcohol. This was something completely different. This was cannabis. The small bag was filled with dry, pale green, plant matter and Twilight knew what it was capable of, having read about it in medical and biology books, she knew that it was a psychoactive drug that induced the user into a relaxed state, she just had never experienced it for herself.

She poked at the bag with her hoof and held it up with her magic, rotating it so that she could examine every bit of it.

After having thoroughly scanning the bags' exterior, Twilight decided to go to the next step and explore the interior.

Twilight opened the bag and immediately could make out a surprisingly pleasant, yet slightly musty, aroma. She stuck her nose in the bag and smelled its contents and confirmed that it was the source of the scent.

"So this is what dried cannabis smells like. Interesting. I wonder..." Twilight trailed off.

Naturally, she began feeling an urge to indulge herself on the bag of forbidden fruit. For science, of course.

Twilight clasped the bag in her teeth and quietly sneaked down to her lab and softly shut the door behind her. The sound of the lock clicking startled her as it broke the silence.

She opened the bag to find a small piece of white paper, most likely used to hold the cannabis while it burns. She carefully removed it with her magic and put a small amount of plant matter on it.

"Would this be enough?" Twilight cocked her head quizzically. She had never done anything like this before, so she was naturally clueless.

"Maybe a little more." Twilight sprinkled a sizable amount onto the paper. When she tried to roll it, it fell open and spilled partially onto the floor. Instantly, Twilight knew what she needed.

"I need an adhesive of some kind." Twilight put her hoof on her chin, "The surface tension from my saliva should hold the paper together."

With surgical-like precision, Twilight ran her tongue across the edge of the paper. She put more cannabis in to replace what was dropped and successfully rolled up the paper.

"Okay... now I just place it in my mouth and ignite the other end." Twilight lightly clenched the paper between her teeth and created a little flame with her magic and held it up to the opposite end. Based on what she's observed from other ponies that smoke, she began to take a deep breath and the fumes from the burning psychoactive drug entered her lungs. Immediately, she began to notice the effects. She felt light-headed and quickly noticed that she was having trouble staying focused on one thing. Everything seemed to come and go at a million miles an hour. Twilight also experienced another effect and since her body was not used to having anything but air enter her lungs, she began coughing uncontrollably.

"Oh my- *cough* -good- *hack* -ness!"

The coughing continued for a solid three minutes. However, to Twilight, three minutes felt much longer. She felt like she was dying and it was downright terrifying, but once the coughing subsided, she realized that it wasn't all that bad. Relieved, she took another draw, and another, and another, and another...

"Maybe I was too hard on Spike." Twilight thought aloud, "He is growing up and soon I'll have to let him go and he'll be able to make his own choices." Twilight waved her hoof through the smoke that filled the room as a result of completely emptying the bag. "I'll give him the Twilight seal of approval tomorrow and let him know that I'm okay with him smoking this stuff."

Before Twilight could think of anything else, she realized that she hadn't eaten in a while. She felt a hunger so fierce, that not even the gods would be able to satiate it! She needed something to eat. She tried to stand, but it felt like the weight of her body jumped between the left side and the right side constantly. Unable to stay balanced, she fell to the floor. However, even with this new obstacle, Twilight was prepared to overcome it if it meant getting something to eat.

After twenty minutes of what would have been considered the most pathetic attempt to climb stairs, if anyone saw it, Twilight reached the library floor.

"Am I ever so hungry," Twilight groaned, her gaze clumsily moving towards the kitchen.

She knew that there was food there, but in her current state, the floor appeared to go on for miles. This was enough to send a wave of fear down Twilight's spine. Not because the effects of the drugs were having on her were terrifying, but because she didn't want to walk that far to get food.

"Come on, Twilight, you can do this," Twilight took a deep breath and rubbed her irritated, red eyes, "all you have to do is step one hoof after the -WOAH!" Twilight took one step and immediately fell over, but not before reaching her hoof out, almost instinctively, to grab something to catch herself.

She hit the ground with a sickening thud and felt several flat objects fall on top of her as well.

"I don't even care!" Twilight sobbed, "I'll just lay here." Without even thinking, the defeated mare reached for one of the objects that rested on her backside. It took a few moments for her brain to establish that the rectangular object she held in her hooves was a book. Blankly, she stared at the book, not processing much information about her situation. It is said that it's hard to think on an empty stomach. This was no exception. Twilight's hunger was so extreme, she flipped the book open and began chewing on the table of contents.

Spike felt ashamed about the entire ordeal. He rolled out of his bed and headed for the stairs with the intention of apologizing. However, as he got closer, the sound of tearing paper and loud eating could be heard.

"Twilight? What's all the-" Spike stopped mid-sentence as his jaw dropped to the floor. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. There were papers scattered all over the floor and carelessly discarded books strewn about as well. In the middle of the chaos, was Twilight, who was happily eating, what appeared to be, her entire library.

"Oh, Spike, you hungry too?" Twilight asked as she tore out another page and promptly bit into it.

"What in the wide world of Equestria are you doing?!"

Twilight swallowed, "Well, lets just say that I'm reaally hungry for knowledge."