The One With The Fabulousness
Once upon a time there was a highly uncouth earth pony that went by the unappealing name of “Applejack.” Now, Applejack was a sloppy, stubborn, unfashionable farm pony with absolutely no manners to speak of. Applejack would scoff at you if you even mentioned high-fashion … imagine not being able to wear anything fabulous! The orange earth pony made all of Ponyville—no, all of Equestria—a living nightmare with her sour attitude. Equestria was doomed to be irrevocably passé for the rest of eternity!
One fine morning, the stunning white unicorn named Rarity was in her … less … stunning friend’s library, gracefully making her a dress.
“Rarity, you’re such a great friend! Thank you for making me this dress for my evening with Princess Celestia!” Princess Twilight Sparkle said.
“Oh, it’s my pleasure, darling!” Rarity hummed. “Afterall, you’re one of my best friends!”
That was the beautiful Rarity for you, always giving.
Rarity was the Element of Generosity….
Hence all the giving.
“We get it! You’re buckin’ generous! On with the story, Rare!”
Well then.
“There!” Rarity chimed and used her magic to get the last pin out of the dress. “All finished!” Rarity slid to the side to reveal the gorgeous dress to her kind friend, Twilight.
Twilight took an unsure step forward, staring at the dress with wide eyes.
“Well … what do you think?” Rarity asked, smiling pompously.
“I-I … I love it!” Twilight shouted.
She does that, you know. Twilight is a shouter….
“Oh, do you mean it?” Rarity asked.
Of course she meant it.
“Of course I mean it!”
Told you.
Rarity squealed in joy.
“It’s absolutely brilliant!” Twilight added after a moment.
“Why—thank you, darling. Let’s just hope that—”
Suddenly, the lights went out. The front door of the library was kicked down and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Thunder boomed throughout the sky.
“Do ah sense … fabulousness?” the pony that kicked down the door asked in a deep, threatening voice.
Rarity and Twilight slowly moved backwards, afraid of the shadowy pony who mysteriously appeared. “N-no?” they answered in unison.
The pony turned around slowly and walked inside. As the pony entered the center of the room, the dim light that shone from outside revealed who it really was.
Applejack.
Rarity and Twilight gasped in unison.
“Applejack!” Twilight cried. “What are you doing—”
“Ya know exactly wha’ ah’m doin’ hur, ya hur?”
Rarity gasped. “You don’t mean…?”
“Ah do.”
“You wouldn’t,” Rarity mumbled softly.
“Oh, ah woul’.”
In a mere second, Applejack dove for the beautiful, sparkly, perfectly perfect dress that Rarity poured her heart and soul into for Twilight’s special occasion and grabbed it with her gross, uneven teeth. As Twilight yelped in agony, Rarity ran towards Applejack at full speed … ever so gracefully. Applejack snarled and ran towards the door, but instead of using the door like a normal and intelligent pony would, she ran straight through the wall, leaving an Applejack-sized hole there.
Rarity gasped in surprise at witnessing just how barbaric the orange earth pony could be.
“Get my dress back,” Twilight whispered fiercely to Rarity, “and make her pay.”
Rarity nodded once and flipped her mane before charging out of the door.
Twilight followed and stood at the hole in the wall that Applejack made. “No, I mean really make her pay! She’s gonna owe me like, 1000 bits to fix this hole!”
Rarity finally caught up to Applejack, huffing and puffing. “Drop that dress now!”
Applejack chuckled and squinted at her. “Nah.”
“Wh— bu— ah!” Rarity groaned.
Applejack raised an eyebrow at Rarity’s loss of words. And, just as quickly as she had grabbed the dress, Applejack tore the masterpiece from collar to torso. Before she could finish with her complete ruining-of-the-dress, Rarity screamed and tackled Applejack to the ground.
“This is the most disgusting throw-down ever, but it’s worth it,” Rarity squealed.
“Ged off ov meh!” Applejack fidgeted under Rarity.
“For the dress!” Rarity growled and spat in Applejack’s face.
Applejack gasped and threw the innocent Rarity off of her and quickly stood up. She towered over poor Rarity and pressed one … single … hoof onto her chest, pressing harder and harder after each second.
“Yer gon’ regret dat, sugarcube,” Applejack hissed.
And, just how it goes in action movies, lightning crackled just above the battlefield, striking a tree. The tree erupted in flames, and the fierce wind that suddenly blew around the scene made the flames climb onto other trees, lighting them on fire as well.
After a few moments, the two ponies were surrounded in a fiery circle of death.
“Nopony makes beautifu’ pieces ov clothes in thi’ hur land.”
Rarity blinked a few times.
“An’ I ain’t gon’ tolerate it a-one bit!”
Rarity growled and rolled to the left, causing Applejack to fall forward since all of her weight was on that one single hoof that was pressed onto Rarity.
Rarity stood up on her hind legs and smirked. “It’s over, hillbilly.”
“Huh?” Applejack said, dumbfounded.
In Rarity’s perfectly manicured hooves was a rather impressive looking flamethrower. Rarity laughed, which sounded like chimes, and sprayed her fiery fury all over the orange pony. Applejack screamed in agonizing pain whilst getting burned alive. Rarity, of course, outsmarted the dim-witted farm pony.
Rarity dropped the flamethrower and exhaled a short breath of air. The sun slowly peeped out from behind the clouds, and the ponies mimicked its action. All of the scared civilians of Ponyville slowly came out from their hiding spots, amazed at what just happened.
“Citizens of Ponyville, the monster has finally been vanquished!” Twilight yelped over the mumbling ponies.
Everypony erupted into a loud cheer.
“Rarity! Rarity! Rarity!” they all cried in happiness.
Rarity winked at the crowd and walked over to the once-perfect dress. She inhaled a deep breath and picked it up slowly, not daring to let a tear slip. She smiled slightly.
“Do you think you can save it?” Twilight whispered while walking up behind Rarity.
“Oh, I have a few tricks up my sleeve….”
Author's Note
Told by Rarity's fabulous point of view!
“The en—ow!” Rarity whined.
Applejack had thrown a rock at the side Rarity’s head. She chuckled once at her impeccable aim.
“Oooh. Nice one, AJ!” Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack, and she then proceeded to give Applejack a hoof-bump.
“That wasn’t a ‘nice one,’ you filthy horses!” Rarity cried.
Everyone gasped at Rarity’s harsh words.
Rarity rolled her eyes.
“Sorry Rares, but Applejack’s story was like, ten times better than yours,” Rainbow said after a while.
“Hmph!” Rarity snapped.
“So, uh, did I die in tha’ there story o’ yours?”
Everyone remained silent. The only sound to be heard were the quiet chirps of the crickets in the distance; the soft hum of Fluttershy, trying to ignore all of the drama going on around her; Rainbow Dash’s deep inhalations, trying oh-so-very-hard not to laugh; and the light crackle and snap of the fire.
Rarity smirked at Applejack.
“Uh….” Applejack gulped.
“You want an ending, huh?” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I’ll give you an ending!” Rarity spat.
Applejack stood up. “You wanna go, Rarity?”
“Do you?!” Rarity stood up as well.
“Woah woah woah, calm down,” Twilight interjected. “As … wonderful … as that sounds, it’s my turn now! Come on, girls.”
“Grouch!”
“Uncultured ruffian!”
“Girls!” Twilight groaned.
Rarity crossed her arms and mumbled, “Applejack would’ve died either way.”
