"Well that escalated quickly," I thought to myself as I walked along a road leading off from the center square where most of Ponyville's shops were located, munching on one of the Chimi-Cherry-Chongas as I went. As promised, the cherry pastries, wrapped up like a tortilla and fried to golden perfection, were delicious! I wonder which brings her more repeat customers, the food or the hospitality?

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a tan-coated earth pony stallion with dark brown mane/tail walking along beside me. He wore a red bow tie around his neck. "I don't suppose you could tell me a thing or two about time?" He had a knowing smile on his face and gestured towards his flank which was emblazoned with an hourglass symbol and then towards my back.

"I suppose not, friend," I replied with a smile acknowledging the irony of the situation. "What brings you out this way?"

"Oh, just a moment of peace in a simpler time," he answered plaintively. ”Taking a break from it all is quite necessary to keep from losing your mind... wouldn't you agree?"

I'm not sure if he was talking over my head, but I nodded in agreement with the sentiment all the same. "Yeah I guess so. But to me, Equestria is a welcome change of pace. Things are certainly a lot more hectic where I'm from."

His face seemed to suggest that he disagreed with my definition of hectic. "And what brings you to the countryside, human? A chance to get away from it all... or perhaps a run in with destiny?"

"I'm just here for the scenery," I replied with an askance look, not sure what to make of the question. A run in with destiny? What did he mean by that?

"Mmmmm. Yes, of course." The stallion hung his head and sighed, as if disappointed.

For the second time that day I began to wonder how much the pony I was speaking to knew about me, so I decided to test the waters a bit. "Actually I'm heading to the Carousel Boutique to go pick up an outfit. After that I was going to go visit a friend of mine in town."

"A very good friend?" The stallion asked, his face betraying nothing.

"The best kind of friend!” I said emphatically, to which he gave a small, almost sad smile but said no more.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. In the distance across a small wood bridge stood the Carousel Boutique, a clothing shop that resembled its namesake back on Earth, done in the style of a rather ornate carousel from back home. A multi-story circular structure with a ground-floor business and the owner’s residence and workshop above, it was tastefully splashed with pastel colors of blue, purple and pink, offset by a yellow and orange striped spire topped by a purple star.

"Well stranger, I suppose this is where we part ways. Thank you for the company, and please take good care of your friend. Never let her forget how much she matters to you." The stallion was once again cheerful as he reached out with his hoof, and I returned the gesture with a polite bump from my fist. He bowed slightly and walked off in the direction of the next town.

I'll take good care of her alright.

*****

I walked inside the Carousel Boutique about fifteen minutes early from my scheduled appointment. Ponies, along with a couple of human women; were checking out the latest dress designs from Ponyville's preeminent fashionista, displayed on human and pony shaped mannequins.

A creme-colored earth pony with a striking aquamarine and white mane was behind, manned the old-fashioned cash register with ponies lined up five deep in line. Racks displayed everything from basic dresses and dress pants produced by magically powered sewing machines, to haute couture outfits hoof-made and studded with diamonds, rubies and sapphires.

The fashion designer of Carousel Boutique Fashions and Philanthropy, walked out from a side room along with a dark gray coated, white-maned stallion with an air of practiced snootiness. I checked and his cutie mark was a hand fan. Oh brother! He seemed rather happy with his purchase though and produced a bag of bits which he gave to Rarity. Catching her eye, she walked over to me.

"Ah, Mr. Eckhart, welcome to my shop! I'll see you in just a moment about your purchase; there are a couple of things I'd like to cover before we proceed." The lovely, white-coated unicorn with cascading purple mane trotted off to see to the needs of a couple more clients before returning to me. "Right this way, dear."

I followed her down a hall with two small rooms off to the side which ended with a staircase and went into the room on the left. Inside was my outfit, displayed on a mannequin, and on the floor was a crate — the contents of which were unknown to me.

I had been pretty embarrassed at the idea of parading about in a uniform worn by hunters, but looking at Rarity's creation I was rather impressed. I had envisioned a red coat like some Revolutionary War British soldier, but this one was all black with four buttons. The hunt cap and English riding field boots were also black, the breeches solid white. None of it was made of real leather, obviously, as one would not expect wearing the hide of another living being to go over well in a nation of herbivores.

"What do you think Stuntman?" she asked, addressing me by my call name since she knew we were now alone.

"It looks very nice! I'm really impressed you would be able to design something so specific to human culture, especially something so foreign as hunting!" I replied, genuinely impressed as I ran my hand over the perfectly-made costume.

Wonder what other kinds of oddly-specific research she’s done on humans?

The fashionista smiled proudly and bowed low. "Well, it is my job to keep up with the fashion of both worlds, and Gentleman for Mares is assigning me directly with orders for newer and more risque clothing options. Which brings us to the job at hoof." Rarity telekinetically picked up her measuring tape and began checking my measurements. Every once in a while she would scribble notes onto a pad all while keeping up the measuring tape moving; it was an impressive display of magical multitasking.

Satisfied with her handiwork, she set her instruments aside. "I'll only need a moment to alter your outfit to match your measurements. You seem to have kept your same shape pretty close since the last time you were measured. So, the bridle..."

Rarity turned to mystery crate and levitated its contents onto a small table nearby. Oh my!

"I assume you know how to use one of these?" She gestured towards the modified bridle without a hint of shame.

Do I ever! It's not often I get the chance I must admit; my client must be commendably freaky. The "bridle" is a special harness that resembles the one worn by horses to pull carriages back on Earth, but this one has two special latches; one attached to the headpiece, and one to the barrel used to secure a pony's tail into place to allow for... ease of entry, shall we say. The bit is also designed for safely biting down on hard. Really, really hard.

My face must have betrayed my surprise because Rarity broke into a fit of giggles. "Don't look so shocked dear; some mares enjoy a more forceful handling."

I gave her a knowing smile. I'm such an ass sometimes.

She gave me a mock admonishing look back. "Oh not me, of course. I expect nothing less than to be treated as a proper lady by my Gentleman. But you on the other hand... look like the kind of ruffian that prefers to take a mare by the reins," she said, floating me the whip that would complete my ensemble.

Credit Miss Rarity for not only managing to retaliate with a decent comeback, but wind me up something fierce while doing it. My boy Harry must have had his hands full with this one!

"Touché, Miss Rarity," I gave an exaggerated bow. "However, this barbarian could use a break before another night of pillaging and burning. Is that offer of a room and a shower still open to me?"

"Well, I shudder to think of the dreadful consequences of your expeditions” — she drew one hoof up to her face in grand dramatic fashion — “but yes. I'll have your alteration completed within an hour, in plenty of time for your… appointment. Let me show you to your room darling. One thing, though…” her eyes acquired an odd gleam.

“Uh... yes?” I caught her change of tone and wasn’t sure what it meant.

“Mind you return that whip as well. It’s one of mine!" She picked it up and cracked it an inch in front of my nose for emphasis, making me flinch back, a devilish gleam in her eyes.

“Y-yes ma’am!” I immediately agreed, trying not to look too hasty in my departure.

*****

Damn it feels good to sit down for a change.

I consider myself a man in great physical condition, but the constant walking does get old to me. The Manehatten streetcars take care of that problem when I'm at home, but the sprawling dirt roads of Ponyville can only be tackled the Earth Pony Way, one hoof in front on the other. I’d been on my feet half the day, and after changing into my new fox hunter outfit to see how everything fit, I was ready to take a load off for a bit.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. Seventeen-hundred hours which means four more hours to go. I suppose a quick nap and some dinner couldn't hurt…

That thought only lasted until I heard the flutter of wings outside the window and an all-too familiar voice speak. "Well, well. Look at who's crashed into Ponyville! At least you decided to wear a helmet this time, not that there's any brain left to save."

Uh oh.

Author's Note

The pegasi have arrived. Can Richard survive the remaining 4 hours until zero hour without doing anything crazy? Spoilers, no.