I gazed out the port-side window at the glittering blue waters of the Philippine Sea, lit by the light of the full moon as I felt the B777 bank one-hundred-thirty degrees to the right and drop to two-hundred and twenty nautical miles.

From my window I could see Neo-Equineox in the distance, lit up like a sprawling, massive yet new-age hippie military compound as whispered conversations between my fellow passengers erupted all throughout the cabin as not to wake the others. How anyone could be sleeping when they were about to travel to a different dimension was beyond me but there they were, about half the people on the plane sawing at logs.

Flying out from Ninoy Aquino Airport in Quezon City, we headed directly east out over the open ocean before banking southeast towards the island of Palau. Instead of finding more open water, which is quite abundant between here and the Marianas, we were headed towards the tiny open-air disco an industrious and highly-educated alicorn mage had created between our world and the land of the talking ponies.

I can’t make this shit up.

The center of the island is located at 14°57'24.4"N 132°36'12.0"E for those curious. Just don’t show up unannounced or U.S. Navy fleet sailors will be the least of your worries when the pegasi show up and stomp you. If you think I’m joking, try it like some pirates did.

I looked up at the hold containing my carry-on bag. I hadn’t known it at the time but it would be the sum total of all my worldly possessions in just a few short weeks. It started as a month-long vacation, having completed my second term in the United States Air Force. It was a lot of fun and I got to help some Kurdish folks out at Mt. Sinjar, Iraq who were besieged by some rather nasty people calling themselves Islamic State by air-dropping food and supplies. The Kurds come to the mountain in the belief it would offer them salvation from the war and my crew and I offered many of them that salvation. It wasn’t exactly worthy of a Hollywood movie with lots of drama and explosions, but it felt good all the same to lend those folks a hand.

If my twelve years of service got me any one thing, it was an appreciation for throwing myself out of a perfectly good aircraft strapped to a parachute, not being content to allow the crates I was dropping as the loadmaster aboard my supply plane to have all the fun. So when I heard that Equestria was going to allow a select few to visit the newly-discovered dimension I was perfectly happy to throw myself into a completely new world.

If I must be perfectly honest, the ponies themselves, the mares, in particular, had an allure about them. Was I attracted to them physically? Weirdly, yes. But more to the point, they lacked the jaded quality of humanity that yawns in the presence of the miraculous on a daily basis. I watched on TV as Celestia addressed the peoples of earth with overtures of peace with sincerity I as an American had never witnessed before. She also wasn’t wearing any pants or a dress or anything other than her royal ornamentation which didn’t leave much of anything to the imagination.

I left the room when it happened. My friend noticed my face is beet red while I’m sitting with my can of beer watching the TV, his laughter following me into the bathroom when he realizes what’s happened to me. It fucked with my head for awhile after that, seeing a creature with such a bestial appearance that way. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to live with myself until I answered the many questions I’d asked myself and met a pony face to face.

More and more people began to awake as the plane began its final approach. The airport was laid out like most, but what really jumped out at me was the greenspace, or rather, the pastel-greenspace. Within a mere ten years, the coral reef foundation of the island which rose out of the depths of the Philippine Sea was teeming with life — both Terran and Tellurian — unlike most atolls in the south Pacific. The jungle ferns and palm trees on the island glowed with a soft light that was discernible from a mile away even among the man and pony-made lights that dotted the airport below.

A burst of color flew past my window in the form of a winged pony, a pegasus, with a purple and pink-striped mane and tail wearing a utility-orange vest who proceeded to match our course and speed, her form illuminated by the light of the moon. I watched in awe at the sight of her mastery of flying, easily keeping pace with our craft now that it had its flaps deployed, and darting side to side as effortlessly as if she were the Mare of Steel, clearly showing off for the passengers. I gave a gentle “wow” as the rest of the cabin began to wake up as no one was able to contain their suspense anymore, gasping in awe and even cheering at our welcoming committee’s aerial antics. I knew then immediately which sub-species of pony I wanted to get to know first!

As our craft passed the shoreline and into the airspace of the island itself, the cabin shuddered vigorously, startling the last of the sleepyheads out of their slumber. The flight attendant had warned those of us who were awake at the time the air surrounding the island was denser than outside of it and to expect some turbulence but that didn’t stop me from checking the window to see if anything had fallen out of the jet engines after the jostle we’d taken.

With a final wave goodbye to the passengers, the pegasus mare outside my window broke off her escort, taking a hard left turn and off into the night as I felt the landing gear deploy below me. We were very close now. I could make out the hangars, terminals, and other airport buildings, interspersed with the oddly pastel-colored and well-manicured lime-green turf adjacent the runway which itself had taken on the glossy pastel tone of the rest of the environment. I hadn’t yet crossed the portal to visit my new home and yet I was struck by the uncomfortable yet exciting sensation of being in a whole new world.

Which, in fact, I was. The portal’s effects extended out well past the boundaries of the singularity itself as I’d later learn, meaning the very land on which I’d stood was created by the magic of the pony’s dimension lifting an ancient reef from the depths of the ocean, transforming everything from the sky above to the water below.

And as it turned out we were also subject to Equestrian law once we set foot on dry land, in more ways than one. What I mean to say is a team of pegasi was dispatched from the ground to attack a cloud which had strayed beyond the invisible barrier between dimensions and transformed into a Tellurian cloud which was swiftly punched down into nothing by the dispatch team as they launched themselves into it.

I blinked unbelieving at the sight, caught up in the sheer weirdness of seeing a cloud’s physical destruction. It wouldn’t even be the strangest thing I’d see that night as a five-foot-long red and green lizard snoozing on a patch of tarmac was removed by a unicorn stallion’s aura and hoisted back over the eight-feet high chain-link fence separating the airfield from the rest of the island, which lacked the usual razor-wire topping common to other military airfields. The unicorn himself, far from impressed by the sight, grumbled something about those darned fire lizards and, to put it in his words, ‘useless UN security fencing’.

Even out in the middle of the ocean on an island that shouldn’t even exist, we couldn’t even provide a secure perimeter. I couldn’t blame the guy for being a bit pissed about it. If he’d been a marine sentry, the poor lizard wouldn’t have fared so well and I couldn’t help but wonder what a pony holding a firearm would look like. Probably pretty ridiculous. But then again, given their strength, magic, and weather control, they didn’t need them.

Travel bag in hand, I passed into the most normal-looking place on the island yet, a terminal building, one of only three on the island. There were lit-up signs in several different languages indicating who goes where with most of them blacked out as we were going through at night. Only English, Spanish, and Tagalog were available and so I took my place in the appropriate line where we presented our passports to a well-dressed lady in formal attire who directed us towards a tunnel at one end of the building where a rather stern-looking mare with a similar taste in fashion, except she was wearing a snazzy pair of aviator sunglasses. Our group began to mutter restlessly among ourselves as we walked past the darkened booths where other attendants and security personnel would normally be during the day.

Coughing slightly into her hoof to silence our uneasy group, the mare spoke. “Beyond this tunnel lies Equestria. Anything you do inside against our stated laws will affect not only your stay, but your very standing in the eyes of our government. As of right now, you can consider yourself warned that any trouble you might bring with you or cause will result in your expulsion from our realm and possible diplomatic consequences for your nation of origin. To that end we expect the lot of you to be on your best behavior; to represent your nation with honor or face the consequences of your actions up to and including arrest, incarceration, and expulsion from Equestria.” The mare spoke clearly but with a slight Nottingham accent, quite different from the unicorn outside. “Do you understand me?”

She got a chorus of ‘yes ma’ams’ in response along with a few ‘sirs’ who quickly changed their answer having realized they’d fucked up the gender recognition test.

The mare whinnied softly and gave her tail an irritable jerk. “Well… that was a better job than the last group that came through. Just remember to look at our muzzles if you’re not sure. Stallions have larger, more squared-off muzzles. Our mares have smaller, rounder muzzles.” The mare removed her aviators with a quick flip of her forearm that made me swear she’d had a hand tucked away inside that hoof of hers and pointed near the back of the line with a tut-tutting smirk. “Though some of you shouldn’t be learning about this at the gate!”

“Beggin’ yehr pahden, miss. It won’t happen again,” a voice came back as I turned to face the familiarly-accented English of a true blue, dinky-dyed, fair-dinkum Ozzie. The sandy-haired fellow in the bush hat turned to his mates, having apologized to the mare, smiling playfully.

The mare secured her sunglasses in a small bag attached to her flank and looked pulled out a large steel marble which she squeezed between her hoof with her paw-like frogs eliciting surprised gasps and the odd ‘whoa!’ from the assembled throng. “And why, might I ask, have you three gone through the considerable effort of procuring permission from our government to visit when you know so little about us?”

Still smiling, the man who spoke earlier responded. “I’ve come seeking asylum from war-torn Sydney to escape the ravages of the Emu invasion.” His two friends chuckled softly as they turned to avoid the mare’s gaze. Myself, and a few of the others who’ve dealt with the Australians before laughed politely, noting the pony’s dismissive hoof wave.

The mare kept her expression neutral. “A real tragedy, I’m sure. And you other two?”

“I heard the pegasi enjoy prawns and frothies so I figure they’re natural allies in the Pacific,” the tall, thin, dark-haired friend spoke up. “As for Billy here, well he’s looking for a sheila!”

“Ah am naht! Yeh’re full of piss, mate!” The shorter, slightly overweight lad gave the dark-haired fellow a friendly push as the men around his age laughed good-naturedly at his expense. Some of the women laughed politely but looked somewhat uneasy. Some appeared outright upset but said nothing as the pony mare laughed along with the men.

Still smiling, the pony at that tunnel lifted her hoof for silence. “If that truly is why you’re here, young man, just remember to treat my sisters with the respect you would treat your own. And if you don’t…” she flexed her forehoof in a movement physically impossible for any Terran horse, “... remember that any one of us can lay you out flat with a single punch or worse than that if you force our hooves. So treat her right!”

“Bloody oath!” a guardstallion unicorn chimed in as he appeared in the doorway, causing the entire group to turn and look at him. He was adorned with red plate armor with gold trim and carried a long steel pike on his back. “Equestria is ready to receive you now, humans. You would do well to heed her advice. You should also be aware by now that travel through the portal is not a pleasant experience and anything you’re keeping in your bags that’s fragile stands a good chance of breaking. This is your last chance to back out. If you choose not to go, a flight will come to return you back to Ninoy Aquino within a few hours.”

No one backed out. I couldn’t help but be immensely proud of humanity at that moment.

We fortunate few were led into a triangular room at the center of the airfield, our eyes drawn to the portal singularity glowed a murky, purple color at the center of the room. The portal itself rested on a shallow, crystal platform which shined a prismatic light of its opaque surface. The archway itself was similarly fashioned out of a large, crystal ring bore a runic inscription that went all the way around its face.

I noted the actions of each person passing through the portal, each telling a story about the people themselves. Some walked through stiffly, their luggage fixed to their arms by a short leash which made me scratch my head when I first saw it. I dubbed them the Professionals. These folks clearly worked with the international and interdimensional bodies responsible for travel between worlds. They looked straight on with a single-minded purpose as if moving across dimensions was little more than taking the elevator up to the 14th floor and consisted of humans and ponies alike.

Then there were the reluctant travelers which made up the bulk of the eighty or so people present, family of people already there. They carried the most luggage, bringing the comforts of the Old World to their kinsmen in Equestria. None of them were older than fifty or younger than thirteen as per the rules of who could and could not travel, restricting the elderly and those in poor health who might not survive the passage between realms, as well as other inescapable cultural differences between humans and ponies like the ponies’ habit of not wearing pants. For this reason and the occasional monster attacks, it was agreed on both sides to impose a PG-13 restriction of the entirety of Equestria despite their denizens’ peaceful nature.

Then you had the good-ol’-boys like the trio of Australians from earlier who had the money and connections to have a lark traveling to the New World to simply enjoy themselves for a bit of fun and perhaps a war story or two for the folks back home. In the case of the U.S. Marines, such a war story was literal, having stumbled across an actual war. But these guys only wanted fun and perhaps a bit of sex. We ponies and humans didn’t know much about each other in those early days, but the imbalance between males and females in Equestria was well-known even back then and it made the prospect of finding a mate a favorable one for many guys here on Earth, though few ever admitted it openly. The good-ol’-boys made it a show of passing through the rift as colorfully as possible and had to be gently persuaded to kindly move their ass so the next group wouldn’t be held up. I felt bad for the guards but surely they knew this sort of thing was coming.

Then there were the Mandarin Outcasts; the international bourgeoisie. All of them were men in their twenties, mostly White, East Asian and Indian with some mixed ethnicities represented as well. They were dressed finely, possessing the money to make the one-way trip in pursuit of jobs and seeking to start a new life — or flee an old life — on the other side of the portal building the new techno-magical future of modern Equestria. They stood out the entire way with their eyes tilted down towards the ground, not seeking attention or accolades despite their economic status. A fair number of them would go on to great success as white-collar workers, while others would fall by the wayside as jobs filled up before they could be accommodated.

Many returned home later on, dejected. But others became legends among men, gaining fame and infamy alike as the escorts to lonely mares: Gentleman. Nearly all of the original Gentleman were drawn from this class of people.

I guess you could call me a good-ol-boy outcast who never knew anything other than travel growing up in a military family.

As the crowd in front of me thinned out completely, the last guy having credibly moonwalked his way through the portal, the guard to my right muttered something to me. “Watch that first step!” he’d said just as I’d passed the shimmering blackness. I hadn’t had much time to think about his words until I ended up sprawled out on the grass on the other side in Equestria.

I also learned why the Professionals leashed their suitcases.

*****The Current Year™*****

The air inside my Manehatten apartment filled with the aroma of falling rain and the sound of passing trolley cars as I delicately nibbled the rims of my Handler’s ear who moaned her approval.

“Come on, Richie! You know you don’t have to go all out for your boss.” The lovely, brown-furred pegasus looked up at me from her back as I ran my fingers through her two-toned green on green mane. “You really should save it for the customers.” She cooed again as I gave the tip of her ear a gentle bite.

“You don’t believe that any more than I do, Petri.” I smiled as I looked into her watery-blue eyes, my own eyes playing over the two white streaks of fur that circled her muzzle. Two more circles went around her large pony eyes which sparkled with emotion from the streetlights filtering in through the open window to my bedroom. Petri, or Petrichor, named after her love of the smell of falling rain, had been my handler from the start of my career with Gentleman For Mares after Five Stars introduced the two of us upon my completion of Gentleman training.

Petrichor breathed in the warm, wet air, shuddering slightly before letting out a gentle whinnying sigh as I massaged her flight muscles, her wings rapidly stiffening as I worked my digits between the secondary feathers of her wings which slowly unfolded from her sides until they were completely rigid. She looked up at me with unfocused eyes and a big, goofy grin. “You know what I love about you, Richard? You genuinely appear to love every single mare you’ve ever slept with and that’s not an easy thing to do.”

“Loving mares is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do.” I pressed my belly up against her, thrusting my manhood between the narrow valley between her teats as she gave an excited giggle, anticipating the main event.

“Easier than falling off the back of a pegasus and breaking your hip?” Petri poked her tongue at me, as she rocked back and forth on her back, tickling my turgid member with the short hairs of her soft fur coat.

I knew she was going to say something about it; the reason we were both here. I’d taken some time off work and nearly killed myself falling off the back of one of the Wonderbolts aerial performers, a pegasus by the name of Fleetfoot during a Mile-High Clubbing event where pegasi have sex while flying as a display of prowess. Pegasus wings stiffen from arousal and so the ability to be able to fly during sex is a rare ability that earns one bragging rights and accolades from your peers. I've done it before as a human by utilizing good old-fashioned ropes and harnesses to stay in the air and never had a problem. That is until the incident. For weeks, I’d wondered if I was going to be able to continue doing my job. I’d been lucky and we both knew it. And now I was going to have sex for the first time since the accident to prove I was fully healed.

In response to her teasing, I tilted my head and pressed my lips up against the side of her muzzle, kissing her deeply. Our kiss lingered as I felt all the anxiety and shame built up over the last three weeks drain away. I’d fucked up, but I was still in the game, doing what God put me on Equestria to do. I stroked her neck as our tongues dueled fiercely. The night-cooled air began to cling to my body as I felt myself begin to sweat from the heat of my horny companion and the rain in the air.

I withdrew slowly from the kiss, letting myself take in her glorious equine form and reminding myself, if it were even necessary, of why I do what I do. She looked back at me hungrily with expectation as I pressed myself up against her entrance, popping the tip inside. Her heat was intense, having a much higher body temperature than humans. I smiled at her, showing teeth since I knew her preferences well and that she wouldn’t be afraid of the predatory gesture. Though we made it a point to avoid sleeping with each other very often given our professional relationship, we’d both had a pretty casual attitude about sex at the time and agreed to remain as friends and partners. It was something the ponies as a general rule were remarkably adept at doing.

“I expect your best, Richard. Don’t let the company down!” Petrichor nickered as she felt a trickle of her arousal roll down her inner thigh.

“I’ll do my best, ma’am!” I replied as businesslike as I could manage with my husky voice as I plunged the rest of the way inside, her inner walls gripping me like a molten vice as I tempered my shaft within her erotic crucible. Belly to belly, she hung her hind limbs off of my shoulders as I continued to thrust myself inside of her as she whimpered as quietly as she could manage. Outside the scheduled storm picked up as rumbles of thunder boomed overhead, shaking the glass on the windows and rattling the cleaned dishes I’d left out to try near the sink. I smiled at her wickedly, expressing my innermost thoughts that she was welcome to moan as loudly as she’d like.

Smiling and giving me a wink in return it was clear she’d taken the hint.

The bedroom was filled with the sounds of rain, thunder and the ecstatic love cries of my partner and friend, all combining to remind myself that life was good. I could have finished within her, but elected to withdraw and make out with her instead to preserve my seed. Partially because I was putting myself to the test to make sure I still had enough self-control to give my clients the satisfaction so many mares craved that stallions could not give them, but also because she just meant a lot to me and does still to this day. I wanted to make her time with me special and she was one of the more difficult challenges I’d ever encountered, requiring a huge amount of attention and effort to bring to climax.

I felt her finally begin to brew up after over an hour of hard but satisfying work, and I hastened to catch up with her. With one final push over the edge, I hilted myself inside of her, our climax matching the ferocity of the storm outside as we came together, in equal parts pleasure and relief in my particular case! Laying on my side and holding her close, I kissed her on the muzzle and enjoyed a moment of silence in her company as we looked into each other’s eyes. Outside the storm slowly fizzled out over the course of an hour before only the whooshing of the wind through the open windows could be heard.

Petri nuzzled my chest, breathing in my human musk, which many mares have confessed is a very pleasant smell to them. “Richard, that was absolutely wonderful! I declare you fit for duty, sir!”

“Awesome!” I punched at the air above me before rolling Petri on top of me like a big, furry blanket to warm my chilly body as the temperature outside had dropped like a stone after the storm had passed. “I guess this means no more bumming around for me. Good to hear. I must have the most boring place ever to try and entertain guests with.”

“Oh, don’t you go beating yourself down over that! You’re responsible with your money. You should give yourself more credit.” Petri folded her wings back across her sides as she tossed her mane from her eyes, stepping out of bed and reaching for something inside her saddlebag sitting on my dresser. ‘Mares love a stallion that’s good with the home finances, you know.”

I chuckled as I imagined myself wearing an apron and baking cookies, which wasn’t too far off from the mare’s ideal stallion. “That’s one way of bragging about being poor!” I stood up and latched the window inside my room shut and grabbing my ‘wife beater’ shirt off the dresser. “Speaking of money, are there any jobs waiting for me in the pipeline?”

The pegasus withdrew a bottle of mane and tail shampoo out of her saddlebag with her teeth and set it on the floor. “As a matter of fact, Richard, there are. And I think you’ll find this one particularly… eh… interesting!” Diving back into her bag she withdrew a folder with a stack of papers inside of it. Placing it on the bed, she removed them and hooved them over to me.

“Oh, wow. Ponyville! Never had a request out of there before…” My eyes swept across the typewritten pages as I sat on the side of my bed. There was a photo of the client attached as well, and man was she a looker! Bright red and pink hues adorned her spiky mane and her coat was a soft, cozy-looking beige. Her cutie-mark of a rose — visible on her state ID which she presented to the receptionist back at headquarters — suited her to a T. I frowned slightly when I noticed she didn’t have wings. “Not a pegasus?”

“Nope!” She replied cheerfully. “While we’re eager to see you head back to work, corporate is a bit nervous about giving you another pegasus so soon after your accident. We would hate for you to suffer a relapse and have something even worse happen to you.”

I threw my hands in the air. “You can’t be serious…”

“I am serious, Richard!” Petri tapped the pages with her hoof I’d set down next to her. “You get a lot of pegasus clients asking you to do some rather dangerous stunts. Don’t forget I’m the girl that’s setting these jobs up for you!” She waggled her hoof sternly at me.

I had to admit to myself that she had a point. I couldn’t really escape my reputation. Even my Gentleman call sign was “Stuntman”.

“So, because of your injury, we’ve decided to keep you grounded for awhile. Celestia knows you’re too valuable to me to let go after what’s happened but I’m worried about you, Richie.” Petri bowed her head and ears, sensing my disappointment. “I know this is a pain, but just prove to me this incident has taught you a thing or two about putting yourself at risk and stay on the ground for a few months.”

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. “What the hell am I supposed to do about my regulars?”

“They’ll be reassigned,” my boss replied with finality. “And we’re placing restrictions on what risks a Gentleman may assume while they remain employed with Gentleman For Mares both on and off the clock. This madness is going to kill one of you guys if it’s allowed to continue!” She placed a placating hoof on my shoulder when she saw my expression drop. “Please don’t be upset, Richie. You’ll be allowed to take pegasi clients again eventually and you know I’m not going to let you do without while you work for me. I’m going to get you those clients no matter what it takes!”

I looked up at Petrichor and nodded, smiling. “I understand, Petri. Thank you for looking out for me.”

“Is that not what friends do?” She threw a leg across my back and gave me a tight hug.

I returned the hug, tossed her mane and returned to the folder, holding my good friend and boss tightly with my free arm. “Wait… what? She wants me to wear a costume?”

“Got to the good part, I see,” Petri replied, her voice was tinged with laughter.

“Holy friggin’ crap!” I exclaimed, setting the papers onto my lap in a daze as my pegasus friend burst into peals of laughter. “She wants me to ‘hunt her down like a predator and put a bridle on her’!” I said, quoting the details I had read, a trace of disbelief in my tone. My face began to burn as I picked the papers back up and read on. “Whoa, I’ve never really done this kinda kinky stuff before! There’s seriously a mare asking for this? And she’s in the backwater heartland of Equestria? Are you sure this isn’t a joke?”

“Ehhhnope!” Petrichor was smiling so broadly her flat, equine teeth were visible. “But don’t ignore that payout! That’s one hay of a tidy sum for a job. And of course we’re going to pay for all your travel expenses, so you have that to look forward to when you’re done. When I say I’m going to take care of you, Richard, I mean it.”

I ran my fingers across my scalp, exhaling deeply. “I appreciate everything you do, Petri. It’s just that… this looks… well, kinda rapey.”

“Oh, Richard!” the boss gave me a look of absolute condescending pity. “Richard, if she’s asking for it, it’s not like that! By definition, she’s consenting if she’s paying for it! Now I can’t make you take this job, but I wanted to remind you of just what this mare is likely going through…”

“Oh, go on…” I grumbled, knowing full well I wasn’t rightly going to decline after three weeks out of work and a nearly empty icebox in the kitchen.

“This poor gal has been torturing herself for weeks, maybe even years thinking about how big of a freak she is and feeling down on herself!” Petri’s large, pony eyes shimmered with emotion, taking a sledgehammer to any possible defense I might muster. “She’s telling herself she’ll never be normal because of these feelings she has. You are the best option she’s got for exploring this aspect of herself without losing face in her small town and being ridiculed for her feelings. She needs you, Richard. I need you to need her too.”

I groaned, falling back against the sheets and cursing my luck. “Fine. I’ll… do it. For my favorite boss ever.” I pointed up at her from the bed as she broke into a wide smile. “But this is a favor. I mean that!”

“You are such a good man, Richard!” Petrichor returned to her bags and withdrew the rest of the items she’d need for a shower. “I can make part of it up to you right now. Care to give me a hand in there? I could stand to freshen up after what you did to me tonight.”

I felt the little general between my legs stirring, calling me into action once more. “You got it, Boss Mare!” Helping to collect her soap, I followed her into the bathroom, deciding another test run for my hip wouldn’t be a bad idea. Can’t be too safe when it comes to my health, after all...

Author's Note

This is the chapter I wrote for the aborted 2018 TSoP reboot. I republished it for the sake of history. I won't be doing any new chapters.