Those Awful Rumors 'Round Town

by PresentPerfect

Rating: everyone
Tags: Silver Spoon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Twist, Random, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life
Length: 1565

Everypony knows the truth about where Scootaloo lives and who her parents are... Don't they?

Everypony in Ponyville knows what's up with Scootaloo: why she can't fly, where she lives, why her parents are never seen. Sure, the theories may contradict one another, and some of them are way out there, but everypony knows the truth.

Don't they?

Written for the August 2014 writeoff, "Famous Last Words". Finished 36th out of 51 entries.

Reading by AShadowOfCygnus!

Published 2014-09-05 22:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-05 22:50:02 UTC

Those Awful Rumors 'Round Town

Those Awful Rumors 'Round Town
by Present Perfect

"I heard she sleeps in a cardboard box in the gutter." The corners of Silver Spoon's mouth turned up in the daintiest of smirks, and she lifted her chin ever so slightly.

"Well," said Sweetie Belle, "I've been over to her house before, so that doesn't make any sense."

"Me too!" Apple Bloom added. "And I don't much appreciate nosy fillies commentin' on my friends when they ain't here, so leave off!"

Diamond Tiara clucked her tongue. "Ugh, whatever. Nothing says it's her house, dummies. It could always be the orphanage." She laughed primly.

"Diamond Tiara actually has a salient point," Truffle Shuffle said. He shied back as all eyes turned to him. "I-I'm only saying that I, too, have never met her parents."

"Well, uh..." Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck, glancing at Sweetie. She only shrugged.

"Maybe it ith her houthe and thee liveth there all by herthelf!"

"Aw, Twist, not you too!" Apple Bloom frowned at her.

Twist cheeks reddened. "Well, I'm jutht thayin'..."

Apple Bloom smacked her hoof against her forehead, grumbling, "If she lives alone, then who does all the chores?"

"No, but I did hear her parents were dead," said Archer, grinning as she marched into their circle.

"Who invited her?" Diamond Tiara whispered to Silver Spoon, who snickered.

Truffle cleared his throat. "I feel it stands to reason that only one of her parents might be dead, in which case the other might work too many jobs to have time for a social life."

"Like, that's stupid." Diamond Tiara flipped her mane. "Who works more than one job, I mean really?"

"Yeah," Silver Spoon added with a snicker. "I bet her parents just can't stand having a flightless filly and refuse to be seen with her in public." She and Diamond burst into hearty cackling.

"That ain't nice!" Apple Bloom stamped her hoof. "Why y'all gotta go talkin' about Scoots behind her back?"

"It'th jutht thepculathion," Twist said, grinning sheepishly. "I really haven't theen her parentth before!"

"What if Princess Celestia was her mother?" Truffle said, hoof to his mouth. "Her inability to fly could be due to inbreeding among the nobility."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gaped at him.

"Eww!" Silver Spoon said. "Why would you even think about something like that?"

There was a pause before Archer asked, "Well, what if they live in Cloudsdale and sent her here to go to school since she can't fly?"

"What if they're tho thick that Thcoot hathta take care of 'em?"

"What if she's really a changeling and never had parents to begin with?" Sweetie Belle cheered, leaping up and down.

"Ooh, or a space alien?" Archer said, grinning wide.

"E-nough!"

Had Princess Luna been present, she would have rated the volume of Apple Bloom's outburst as worthy of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Apple Bloom held her head low, snorting and panting as she glared at the other foals. They regarded her with wide eyes, raised hooves, and not a few wind-blown manes.

"Sweetie, how can you even let yerself get caught up in this?"

Sweetie Belle's face turned toward the ground. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"As for the rest o' y'all, didn't your parents teach ya not to go guessin' on somepony's personal business when they ain't around?" Apple Bloom ground her teeth together. "That just ain't right!"

"Ugh," Diamond said with another flip of her mane, "like, what's the big deal? We're just wondering out loud about your dumb friend is all."

"Perhaps we should consider asking her ourselves," Truffle said, pointing behind them. "There she is now!"

In a flash, all seven of them surrounded Scootaloo and began pelting her with questions.

"Cardboard box?"

"Celestia?"

"Orphanage?"

"Thpathe alien?"

"What in the flying hay?" Scootaloo backed up against the swingset, eyes wide. "What are you all yelling about?"

As they talked, Apple Bloom grew jitterier by the second. Finally, she burst forward in a rush, shouting, "It's true!" She pinned Scootaloo against the swings, shaking her and babbling. "We ain't never met your parents! What happened to 'em, Scoot? You can tell me, honest! I-I know just what it's like to lose kin!"

Sweetie Belle gaped at Apple Bloom. Crumpling her nose indignantly, she turned to Scootaloo. "We're just wondering because we're concerned. We want to make sure you're being taken care of and stuff."

Scootaloo's face darkened. "Oh, I see what this is. I'm no dodo! I know all about those things everypony says about me!" She hopped out of Apple Bloom's embrace, waggling her head as she adopted a mocking tone. "'Oh, Scoot can't fly 'cuz she's a chicken! She's got no parents, she's homeless, blah-de-blah-de-blah!' You all should be ashamed of yourselves for listening to that garbage."

Apple Bloom winced at her own words being thrown back at her. Everyone except Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon bowed their heads.

"So which is it then, chicken?" Diamond Tiara said, an edge to her voice.

"Yeah," Silver Spoon added. "Orphanage or lonely house?"

Scootaloo glowered at her. "I live in a big house on the other end of town, okay? Not that it's any of your business. And it's not an orphanage either." She kicked her scooter under herself, buzzing her wings. "I've got all the parents I could ever want!"

As Scootaloo zipped out of the playground and down the road, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle turned to one another, frowning in consternation. Their faces soured as Diamond and Silver snickered behind them.

"Hey, who wants to guess about Apple Bloom's parents now?"

Somepony was going home with a black eye that afternoon.

The tears dried as Scootaloo came within sight of her house.

Stay strong. Don't let them get to you. Just like you practiced.

It wasn't like she hadn't been hearing that crap her entire life. It was just that it was a bit harder to take when coming from the best friends she'd ever had. Despite the brash airs she tried to project, she wasn't the most confident pony when alone. Rainbow Dash inspired her to be better than she was, but couldn't be around all the time. She wanted somepony who would be there for her always, to give her the self-assurance she needed, not to mention love and affection, and that was why she had...

No dwelling on the past. You know what that leads to.

She almost wished Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had come by her house again after it happened, just so somepony could back her up when the rumors returned full-force.

"Welcome home, honey!" cried a pale yellow, blue-maned unicorn mare from the front door of her house. Scootaloo skidded to a halt and waved to her.

"Hi, Mom!"

Smiling, her grief momentarily forgotten, Scootaloo placed her scooter in its spot in the front yard. She wiped her hooves on the welcome mat and trotted into the house.

"How was school, champ?" asked a bulky pegasus stallion with the same colors as Scootaloo.

"It was great, Dad!" she said, unbuckling her helmet and placing it on the hat rack.

From the kitchen, a pale yellow, blue-maned unicorn mare poked her head around the door and smiled. "Welcome home, sweetie! Dinner's in the oven."

"Thanks, Mom!" Scootaloo called back.

Another pale yellow, blue-maned unicorn took her backpack and hung it below her helmet. Another orange and purple pegasus stallion gave her a hug. A yellow-and-blue unicorn mare dusted the bookshelves, and another fed the fish. An orange-and-purple pegasus stallion came zipping down the stairs as a pale yellow unicorn with blue mane called after him.

"No flying in the house! You're setting a bad example!"

"Never mind that, sport," the stallion said to Scootaloo, laughing. "How about some hoofball before dinner?"

"Maybe tomorrow, Dad," she said. He laughed again and tousled her mane before taking off out the front door.

Scootaloo sat down in the middle of the living room, watching the bustle of her household. Everywhere she looked, a blue-and-yellow unicorn mare and an orange-and-purple pegasus stallion moved in pairs, cleaning, organizing, laughing and chatting. They read the newspaper; they listened to the radio; they set the table and did the dishes. Four, eight, a dozen... Another pair came in the door, grinning at each other before sharing a kiss. Scootaloo pulled a marker from her backpack and made another tally mark on it.

As she replaced the marker, something welled up in her throat. She tried to hold it back, forcing herself to smile, but tears slid from each eye. She tried sniffing them up, to no avail. Her right eye began to twitch as the tears tracked down her cheeks and into the corners of her smile.

"I... I've got... a-all the p-parents I could... ever w-want..."

Author's Note

Hopefully you won't need me to say: the ending is meant to be taken literally. Scootaloo has too many parents, and more are coming every day. What's going on, how did things get this way? I don't know. That's not what's important. What's important is that this is just me poking fun at all the Scootaorphan fics -- only one or two of those theories the foals sling around are original -- in about the strangest way possible.

Thanks to Silent Strider and Pascoite for feedback.