The solve-it-all machine

“So..:” said Applejack to the others as they were waiting for Pinkie Pie to arrive.

“So..:” replied Rainbow Dash by mimesis.

They were trying to cope with the frustration of having to wait, the fact they weren’t sure why they wanted to be there in the first place and the idea that the expectations they were having about the whole thing would turn out to be way too high when confronted to the reality.

But mostly, they just hated to wait in silence.

“I didn’t know Pinkie Pie had a grand aunt.” Fluttershy said, immediately regretting her remark, as she felt the stares of all her friends plunging onto her.

Nopony really replied to that. There wasn’t much to say anyway. After the Canterlot wedding of Shining Armor and Cadence, they had spent a whole day speaking about each other family, without being able to remember much from it as it turned out each one of them had plenty of relatives once you searched the whole family tree.

“I can’t take it anymore!” exploded Rainbow Dash. “Where is Pinkie Pie?” she asked.

“I’m right here silly!” replied the pink pony, appearing from behind her shadow. “And look who I brought with me.” she added while showing a seemingly lazy grey cat.

“Oh she is so cute!” stated Fluttershy, who immediately began to pet the animal. “What is her name?”

“Single Rock.” replied Pinkie Pie happy to see the cat was receiving a good reception.

“Hello Single Rock. I’m Fluttershy. I’m sure we are going to be great friends.”

But to the pegasus’s surprise, the cat meowed but didn’t respond in any way she could understand.

“That’s strange.” Fluttershy noticed. “I’m usually able to communicate with cats very easily.”

“That’s because it’s not a cat.” Pinkie Pie explained. “Single Rock is a pony: she is my grand aunt.”

And suddenly, the lazy grey cat got five new very confused look onto her, which brought her to lick one of her paws.

Rarity was about to explain to Pinkie Pie why it wasn’t making any sense for a cat to be related to her, but the pink pony had already decided it was time to move on and go see the machines.

“Come on, I’ve prepared everything. You’ll see, it’s going to be a lot of fun.”

The others looked at each other and accepted that the best thing to do was to follow their excited friend. To their surprise, they went into Sugarcubecorner and soon discovered that the basement was way bigger than they thought, as Pinkie Pie showed them another stair leading even further below to a huge room full of a lot of junk.

“Here we are!” Pinkie told them. “These are all my grand aunt’s machines.”

And before any of the others could say any words, she had gone to grab some sort of a helmet and had put it on her head.

“Look at that one.” Pinkie said.

“Is this a mane dryer?” Rarity asked, trying to link what she was seeing with any knowledge she already possessed.

But to be honest, the helmet was very far away from a mane dryer. It was looking more like an amalgam of pipes and tubes with electric cables everywhere and a plethora of mini antennas.

“I call it the make-things-hover-helmet.” Pinkie explained.

She focused a bit and the helmet responded with shrieking noises and a lot of lights flashing all around. And suddenly, to the others’ surprise, a piece of junk began to float in front of them, supported by absolutely nothing, just like by magic.

“Is it…?” began Rarity who never finished that sentence.

“It looks like a levitation spell, but that’s impossible.” stated Twilight, who couldn’t believe her eyes.

Pinkie stopped to focus and the piece of junk fell back on the ground, as the pink pony was already grabbing another machine that made her disappear for a few seconds under the incredulous looks of the ponies, as the grey cat had begun to take a good nap, used to see such craziness occur.

Pinkie kept on demonstrating different machines that were able to produce different spells to the amazement of the different ponies at the exception of Twilight whose mind was already seeing past the first impression and through to the real potential of such discoveries. Searching around, she found a picture of the Pie family with a few members she didn’t know.

“That’s Auntie Rock right there.” said Pinkie Pie, pointing to a very old pony on the picture.

“You said your grand aunt was that cat there.” Twilight replied while pointing to the cat with her hoof.

“Of course she is. She just always wanted to become a cat, so she made a machine that would turn her into a cat.”

Something was telling Twilight it all was way more amazing than she was already realizing. Something very obvious. And then she saw it.

“Pinkie… the pony on the picture is an earth pony.” she noticed.

“What about it?” Pinkie asked.

“Earth ponies cannot do any magic.” Twilight affirmed.

“My grand aunt can.”

It hit Twilight so hard she almost fainted. In an instant, everything Twilight thought she knew about magic crumbled, making the walls of her ancient world disappear, revealing a whole new field of until know completely ignored possibilities.

The grey cat woke up from her nap, looked around, yawned and went back to sleep.

“Pinkie Pie…” began Twilight, whose excitement was making it very difficult to stay in control. “Do you even realize how revolutionary those machines are?”

“Hum… no?” Pinkie responded, as she couldn’t see what was so special about those machines, having been accustomed to their existence in all those years.

“I need to study them!” shouted Twilight, unable to restrain herself anymore. “I must understand how they work, what they can do! This is pure genius. I can’t believe somepony achieved something that incredible!”

She suddenly stopped. Her eyes had noticed a silhouette in the back of the room. A very big and kind of frightening silhouette. But her fear was nothing compared to the amazement she was feeling at that moment. Even from where she was standing, Twilight could feel the overwhelming power running through the metal of that machine, waiting to be activated and released upon the world. It was electrifying to say the least.

And Twilight was certain of it: it had to be the famous solve-it-all machine.

Her heart sank and she knew that the other machines were nothing compared to that masterpiece.

“How does it work?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, it’s easy.” Pinkie Pie replied. “You just have to have a problem to solve, then you go there, pull that lever and the machine produces some dust that you can then throw on your problem to make it disappear.”

It actually seemed very easy, which was weird given who had been explaining it. Rainbow Dash, who had heard the whole thing came and asked:

“So if I had a problem, say, very hypothetically, a dispute with my chief on the work schedule, all I have to do is to pull that lever, take the dust and it will solve my problem?”

“Exactly!” Pinkie Pie replied. “But I’m sure you wouldn’t need to use some magical dust to solve your problem.”

As was to be expected, Rainbow Dash had already pulled the lever and Twilight felt the machine gathering a huge amount of energy all around from every magical stream available. The machine seemed to purr, but soon the sound got louder and it became like nothing the ponies had ever heard before. Suddenly, the sound stopped and the machine filled a small bag with a little amount of dust.

The ponies waited to see what else was going to happen, but nothing ever came. The huge solve-it-all machine had gone back to her waiting sleep, having already fulfilled her duty and seemingly very satisfied with it.

“So… what do I do with that dust?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, you would just have to pour it onto the problem. But as my grand aunt used to say…” Pinkie Pie tried to explain.

It was way too late. Rainbow Dash decided to test it right away and left Sugarcubecorner immediately to go see her boss. As an awkward silence ensued, the ponies tried to fill the void by searching through the different machines and pieces of junk lying everywhere. Soon, Twilight found a book that she had hoped would exist. It was the solve-it-all machine manual, containing most of the details explaining how it had been conceived and built, as well as how it should be operated.

It would have been absolutely perfect if it had been written in a way that was supposed to be readable by other ponies. The notes were very cryptic and structured in the most illogical way ever.

“I can’t believe it!” Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted, bursting through the stairs as she was coming back from her boss’s office. “He didn’t even discuss. As soon as the dust had touched him, he just agreed with everything I asked for.”

“Great!” Rarity rejoiced herself. “So you will be able to spend more time with Scootaloo now.”

“Oh yeah. That. Sure.” Rainbow Dash realized, as she had mostly done it to keep on napping like she used to. But spending more time with Scootaloo was also a very good idea.

Nonetheless, the machine was clearly working. The six ponies, even Pinkie Pie, looked at it with amazement and respect.

A machine that could solve all their problems.

“Nopony uses the machine anymore!” decreed Twilight, understanding what was going through her friends’ minds. “I’ll first make sure it is safe to use, and only then we will see what shall be done with it.”

She received a few complaints here and there, but they all agreed it was the wisest thing to do.

Only Fluttershy, who had felt very frightened by the imposing machine, thought of asking the most obvious question any other should have asked already:

“Excuse me, but… if the lever makes the dust appear… could somepony tell me what the big red button does?”