The Conversion Bureau: Let There Be Bloodshed

by Frost Wolf

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1625

Celestia, and her ponies try to convert humans to ponies, but we fight back in classic American fashion.

2020

Portals open in five countries and horse/human hybrids come out and pretty much declare war on humans. This is how we fight back.
WARNING
PONIES HAVE GUNS DEAL WITH IT! THIS IS A SELF INSERT! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SELF INSERTS, DO NOT READ

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-19 00:39:08 UTC

Speeches

21 April

Barack Obama was sitting at his desk when Julie walked in. “Sir you got a letter in the mail. There is no return address.” as she handed him the letter he had a pretty good guess of what it was. As he opened it, his suspicions were proved correct. It was indeed a letter from “her majesty”. The letter read “Will you, Barack Obama, ler your country be converted peacefully? Yes or No? Please circle one.” As soon as the pen finished the circle around no and was lifted from the paper, it lit on fire and burned. In the place of the previously written message was a new one. “That was a bad move on your part.” The other leaders got the same message more or less. But he still had to do the hardest part of his job… telling the public. He decided to give a big speech, that would be on all tv and radio channels. This would make sure that the majority of the country hear the speech he was going to give. But first he had to convince Congress to let him declare war on the hybrids.

Inside of the Senate Building later that day President Obama was thinking about what to say. He was so tuned into his thinking, that he didn’t see a secretary walk up to him. “The Congress will see you now, Mr. President.” he said. A simple thank you was given to the man.  While walking in, he thought just a little bit more about his argument.  Considering how they were about to be wiped out, it shouldn't be that hard to convince them to let him go to war.

“Mr. President.  We assume you are here regarding the hybrids, and if we should go to war.  Well you don’t need to say anything as our answer is yes.” one of the Congressmen said. The President was so shocked he almost didn’t hear the next part,“We have reviewed all information from the U.S. and the other countries, and have decided that there is enough evidence for the public to believe that we are not going to war for no reason.” He was so relieved that he didn’t have to give a speech that he hadn’t prepared very well. So now that just left the rest of the country and the recruiting of soldiers for this.

“Thank you sir. This is good. Now I can focus my attention on the public eye.” He said.

“Good luck, Mr. President.”

22 April

Barack Obama was standing in the White House lawn while hundreds of news crews, bloggers, radio broadcasters, and pedestrians, all gathered to hear his big speech.“I am here to tell you today, America, that I and five other world leaders, have been contacted by alien horse/human hybrids. These hybrids have declared that humanity is too violent to live, and has decided to try and ‘convert’ us into their kind!” there were gasps and shrieks of shock at the fact that not only did aliens exist, but this species wanted to wipe them out. A few people even fainted.  “We are Americans and we will not let that happen will we?” Obama shouted into the microphone.

“NO!!” replied the giant crowd of roughly 1,200. Everyone  that was still conscious was grinning and cheering wildly.

“Are we going to fight for our freedom? Are we going to prevail as we always have? We are AMERICANS AND WE DO NOT BACK DOWN, AND WE NEVER SURRENDER!!!!” he roared. Everyone in the country was screaming and hollering. “Now I have one favor to ask of all of you who are willing and able to do this.” Immediately everyone stopped making noise and looked/listened to the president. Now came the embarrassing part of asking for troops. “I want anyone willing to joined the armed forces to go and sign up as soon as possible. We can not win this war without soldiers. And where does this country get its soldiers from? The brave men and women of this glorious nation!” Once again noise erupted around the country. President Obama knew he had done a good job with his speech as he walked back into the White House.

The Beginning/ First Contact

8 April, 2020

Moscow, Russia

Inside the Kremlin Armory, a portal appeared. A purple pastel colored unicorn horse/woman hybrid walked through with five different flying horse/men hybrids. Security cameras caught this, and Russian Spetsnaz were sent to capture the hybrids. The hybrids did not move after coming out of the portals, they just stood in place like they were waiting. As they circled around the hybrids the purple one spoke, which almost made the trained soldiers drop their weapons. It said in perfect Russian, “I have come from Equestria and our princess wishes to speak with the leaders of the major countries of this world, specifically President Vladimir Putin of Russia, President Barack Obama of the United States of America, Kim Jong-un of North Korea, Prime Minister David Cameron of Britain, and President Xi Jinping of China. We have been watching your countries closely over the last few hundred years, and would like to talk about foreign relations. The meeting date and location have yet to be decided.” After that it, and its guards, re-entered the portal. In the countries of the leaders it spoke of, the leaders all got the same speech more or less, just with a different hybrid. In America it was an orange horse hybrid with a cowboy hat and a southern accent, in N. Korea it was an extremely hyper pink horse hybrid, who had to repeat the speech three times before it was heard correctly, Britain got a shy tan flying hybrid with pink hair, and in China it was a rainbow haired blue flying hybrid that was overly aggressive and was shot in the wing as it fled into its portal. All of these hybrids spoke the language of said countries very fluently, as if they had translators, or had been practicing the language for a long time. Korean, and Chinese were extremely hard to learn, as many people have found out. The leaders of said countries contacted each other immediately, and discussed the situation. The leaders agreed that on whatever date and location the meeting was to take place, that they would not only bring translators, but armed bodyguards with military clearance weapons. They also agreed to not let the public know of this, but they needed a cover up story in case the media did find out. Ideas ranged from nuclear peace, to the war between Russia and Ukraine. They ultimately decided on the nuclear peace cover that Xi Jinping wouldn't stop suggesting. Now all they had to do was wait for a date, time and location from the hybrids.

Two Days Later

10 April

The portals re-opened in the same spots two days after first contact, and the same hybrids walked out of the portals(with the exception of the rainbow colored one. In its place was a white and purple unicorn horse/woman hybrid), but they didn't expect to be met by ten or more armed bodyguards with guns off safety and ready to fire. The new white one exclaimed “Well, that is NOT how you greet a lady!” After getting bored looks in response, she did what she came to do. The hybrids told each of the leaders that the date was 19 April, nine days from then, and that the location was the Presidential Retreat in Maryland. The date and location was set and after confirmation from each leader the hybrids left. No one knew what to expect, so they expected the worst.

Sunday 19 April, Camp David Presidential Retreat, Thurmont, Maryland, USA

The Day Of The Meeting

Barack Obama knew nothing good could come from this meeting. In just under two weeks, he had found out that aliens did indeed exist, that he and other world leaders would most likely be meeting a hybrid, and that these hybrids might want war. As he and his bodyguards entered the war room in the camp, he was greeted by his secretary Julie. “Xi Jinping, Kim Jong-un, and Vladimir Putin are already here, Mr. President.” she said. He replied with a simple thank you and proceeded to his seat at the front of the room.

“Well, I wish that those hybrids would have given us a time, not just a date and location.” Putin complained. Being Russian and all, he didn’t like waiting, and was very impatient. But the others couldn’t agree more, some of them had been there for almost an hour. At 12:00 o’clock pm Julie came into the room.

“Prime Minister Cameron is here.” she said. As she finished the Prime Minister walked into the room.

“Sorry i’m late, got caught in a really bad storm and had to land and wait it out in Greenland.” He said. Once he sat down a noise like lightning was heard, and the room became very bright. Once the noise and light died down there stood a white hybrid that had a horn, and wings with hair that flowed in an invisibly breeze. All the leaders stared at it, some drinking various drinks. Most had coffee since they weren’t used to the time zones of the U.S. Then it spoke…

“I am Princess Celestia, one of the two leaders of Equestria, a land full of peaceful ponies, and the ponies that each of you have seen, are my good friends. I have been watching your world for 200 years and have decided that you humans are not fit for survival, as you are too destructive, and violent. I will convert you and all of the humans to humans to ponies.”