My little phony: Acting is good money

by Bugs

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1833

Ever thought Equestria was too perfect? Too wonderful, too make believe? Well, you were right.

I am a producer on the scene of MLP:FiM and what an honor it is. To be that close to the mane six is, astonishing. Initially I reacted like any Brony would, screaming like a fanboy and waving my arms in the air, but the truth sank in, and it seemed to make sense.

I shall be interviewing the cast in upcoming chapters including background ponies, Fanon ponies etc, we'll see how it goes. Almost literally, the ideas for this are endless of who I could interview. If you have any questions you would like me to ask during the interviews, feel free to drop them in the comments and I'll pick the best.

Published 2012-04-18 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-18 21:24:01 UTC

Breaking the news

Breaking the news

Alas my dear Bronys, the truth is now out. Please, take a none literal seat and let me break you the news. Oh, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. My name is… Oh what’s the point in giving my real name? Just call me Bugs.

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you all this, but as you have probably already gathered from the title, our sweet little show is more amiss than a fan could ever realise. Is this a self- insert? Well I guess it is, I’m not actually a character- well at least I hope not- I’m not fabricated at least. I live, I breathe and, occasionally, I do enjoy indulging myself in fandom. I’m a fascinating person I know, but stalkers are prowling on distant hills, so I would prefer to avoid outing myself. I am writing this in the comfort of my apartment in Equestria, I shall not say where for oblivious reasons as stated earlier.

Well, what am I babbling for? I’m sure you are on the edge of your none literal seat which I asked you to sit on, unless you are in fact upon a seat in which case:

YOU. Yes YOU. Brony! Shuffle to the edge of your seat so I feel empowered.

I can’t actually tell if you have, but if you have, then you are a terrific reader and you deserve my admiration. If you didn’t shuffle to the edge of your seat, then I am disappointed, and I dislike you as a person, or a pony. If you are a pony and you’re reading this, then you are either very talented, or you broke into my apartment and you are reading this letter, in which case- there is a hidden safe behind my telephone, press in the code 911 and ask for ‘The police’ to come, and then the safe opens! It is a brilliant system.

Okay, now back to the story.

To all of you, this will be just a story. A method of conveying a writer’s fictional ideas of a fictional world, and for the most part I would prefer it to stay this way. Some may find this story upsetting, maybe you will even sue me for taking a beautiful world and exposing its harsh reality. And yes, ‘REALITY’ is the correct term for it.

May the story commence!

“So Spike,” Twilight called enthusiastically. “What lesson of friendship did you learn today?” A pursing of the lips occurred as a stupid smile spread across her face, but the cameras had already panned over the purple dragon.

“Gee Twilight. I learned to forgive all of my friends when the abuse me.” He swung his claw in emphasis with the last word.

“AND CUT!” A voice called over from the side of the library.

I turned my head to face the director leaning out of his chair, a look of sanctioned fury shone in his eyes as he bellowed toward Twilight. He held a hoof high pointing with a pen in hoof toward them.

A long sigh came as they all relaxed. The cameras were switched off and then rolled over to the side of the studio. The lighting stands were faced downward and dimmed so the flooring was barely illuminated. I sat unmoving in my chair, the title ‘Producer’ was etched onto the back of my pull up seat. A few ponies trotted back and forth in the quick reality of tidying up the area, filming of the next scene would begin in about 12 minutes.

Twilight and Spike climbed off the stage as it was moved away as it was disassembled. The two looked so tired lately; acting was a tough job, even as a human, but for ponies lying was out of the norm, and that is all this was to them, being paid to lie for a camera.

The purple mare shot a glance across toward me; I nodded and tapped the watch upon my wrist. She gave another similar small nod then turned to head to a small door at the back of the studio, a fire escape leading onto a smaller balcony. She would be heading out to smoke as she did after every mid-day scene, she and Rarity were the only smokers in the cast.

Spike took note of the quick exchange of nods and came over and stood next to me. I gave a brief smile as I rolled a pen top between my fingers.

He coughed twice and then spoke, “Your race must be so simple.” He remarked as he so often did. His voice was much deeper than the character of ‘Spike’. Although all actors used their real names in acting, they were actors regardless. His voice was hoarse as that of a middle age human, but still was capable of higher pitched calls as he was still only a young dragon after all. Dragon ageing was a strange thing; he was at least 28 human years old, yet he wouldn’t spout and grow until a ripe age of 70-90 human years.

“We aren’t a simple folk, not as complex as a dragon or pony perhaps, we don’t possess magic, but we are still intelligent-“

“I find that hard to believe,” he interrupted. A fleeting smile broke across my face. He was pessimistic by nature, a reason he and I got along initially, his ability to find stray elements of humour and ridicule even the most untenable subjects or ponies, and he would find something to poke fun at.

“And dragons are vastly intelligent are they?” I asked sarcastically, “A, what? A two and a half foot naked baby lizard is going to lecture me on simplicity and how to live. We must be in need.”

A sly grin spread on his face. “Better that than a lanky ape with odour problems.”

I stared at him with a cold, hard look, a look that screamed ‘I am offended’. The air seemed to be sucked out the room as I stared in disgust at his comments. He swallowed hard as a lump grew in his throat. “Look man, I’m sorr-“

“Gotcha.”

“You egg cracking little filly!” He swore and broke in a wide smile. We laughed as he pushed me playfully. An incident had occurred similar to this when I first met him, returning the favour was long since due.

We both stood and sat still for another few minutes. We remarked short comments about the world as it passed, laughing at the others puns even if there weren’t too amusing. He raised his head for a moment and gestured over to the lounge. The rest of the cast were coming in for the final scene.

Fluttershy flew in first. “Hey what’s happening?” She flew powerfully around the roof, weaving in and out of the metal strips across the ceiling, through the wiring dangling down across the room. She wore a navy and white hoodie with wing-holes slotted in the side. She hoof bumped another one of the lighting crew on the above railing.

Spike muttered a comment incoherently beside me, although I couldn’t hear it, I laughed anyway.

When I first met Fluttershy I was, needless to say, shocked. From what we Bronys knew as Canon to this high tempo, spirited mare who was apparently the opposite of our best Fluttershy. She landed back on the new scene of Sugarcube corner and began talking to Twilight and one of the other producers on set.

Applejack came in slowly afterward. She was very much a socially inept pony. I had few conversations with her, and all ended up in a painful silence which clung fondly to every slowly passing second. She was harmless, but never would I want to be left alone with her, there was something off about her that others had merely hinted at, and even Spike seemed to know little about her.

A melodramatic gasp came from Rainbow who had entered without my notice. She batted the coffee out of a pony’s hoof and began to scream at them inaudibly. Typical Rainbow. She demanded attention, not unlike her character in Canon, but in a pettier, annoying way. Her egotistical side would always dominate a conversation, she would ask whether I knew of her acting award, which I did, but out of pleasantries I would act bedazzled then shower her with admiration. She wasn’t easy to get along with, but staying under her radar was the best way to be.

Pinkie walked subtly into the room. Her eyes were averted as she looked around slowly. I smiled shortly. She was possibly the most featureless person to meet. A similar personality to Twilight in Canon if she never talked to anypony, indulging in a book was her only pastime, besides the occasional walk around the studio or hesitant glimpse of paranoia across the room, she would act-read-act-read-sleep, rinse and repeat. Many Bronys would have loved to meet Pinkie in Canon, admittedly I would have loved it before I got this job, but seeing her now was a painful sigh.

Rarity was the closest to Canon. She was indulged in her own beauty and egotistical and blind to the world around her. She was the centre of the omniverse, the brightest light in the room, although mentally she would struggle to match that of an eight year old. The typical glamour girls you see on Earth, lots of make-up TICk, attitude TICK, supposedly loose in the belt (if you know what I mean) TICK. I would say I talked to her, but a passing of hello isn’t much of a conversation, she would ignore me, and I would watch from afar, we held that relationship, it was a good one.

I studied the group as they socialized on the set, tables and background actors stepped in ready to take places. Spike tapped me on the shoulder and I gave him a quick nod. He ran over to the set as they were soon to begin filming. He was as much as an outcast in that group as I was in this world.

My job was to be the messenger between the two realities. I would none-romantically ship the recordings between worlds and we would edit, and then broadcast them to our people. I was one of few who knew the truth, and that is the way it shall stay.

“ACTION!” shouted that familiar voice again. I leant back in my chair to watch the magic- the magic of acting, and the magic of friendship.

I'm sorry I had to tell you all this harsh truth so quickly, but the recovery from now is easy. They may seem like bizarre, curious and unfamiliar ponies now, but over the course of many interviews, we shall get to know them.

You will all think it is just a story, just another story. Even as I write now, it is just a story.