"If you ain't got anything nice to say..."

by ManlyDerp

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Big Macintosh, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 50165

Big Mac has accidentally stepped in a patch of poison joke. The once quiet stallion now can't stop talking, no matter how much he wants to. Ponyville is about to get an earful. (WARNING: Contains character deconstruction and silly moments)

*With a heavy heart, I must declare this story cancelled. Though it lacks a true ending, I encourage each and every one of you to make your own. May your vision create something even grander than my own. -Derply*
After the events of Twilight's Kingdom, vegetation across Ponyville has been thrown into disarray thanks to Twilight's new unintentional death castle. But while some plants have been sucked dry, others have flourished, such as the infamous Poison Joke.

Enter Big Mac; a stallion of few words whose about to get a few dozen more whether he, or anypony else, likes it or not.

(WARNING: While it gets silly at times, this fic borderlines between needing and not needing the tragedy tag. Contains character deconstructions that may upset people.)

Editor: Thardoc, and help from TwelveFoot as well!

Published 2014-09-07 17:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-30 02:49:33 UTC

Chapter 1 [EDITED]

"Twwwwwwiiiii!!!"

"Oh Celestia damnit, not again," mutters Twilight, the pretty pony princess, under her breath. With the quick shake of her head, the alicorn turns towards her new home's entrance and gives her friend a big, if forced, smile. "Applejack!" she says. "What a pleasant surprise!"

Slowing her gallop to a mere trot, the tired earth pony roughly crosses the threshold separating the outside world to the inside of the Friendship Castle and approaches her equally ragged looking friend with a look of concern.

"Twi," Applejack began. "There's a situati-”

With the raising of a purple hoof, Princess Twilight quickly cuts off her true true friend in mid-explanation.

“Let me guess,” the bookish mare interrupts, her insincere smile still beaming brightly. “Your apples have become sentient and have eaten Apple Bloom whole.”

Applejack simply blinks.

“... Wha?”

Twilight, still smiling all the while, tilts her head to the side in apparent curiosity.

“No?” she continues without pause, muttering “Maybe Carrot Top’s thing was self-contained then…" under her breath. "... Are your trees demanding equal rights in ancient Griffonese?”

Applejack blinks for a second time at this second odd question. Only in the resulting silence between the two did the farmer begin to notice the odd hair or two protruding themselves from the princess's clearly unkempt mane.

“That’s not it either?” Twilight asks, her eyes blinking out of order as she does. “Haha… HAHA!! Oh silly, silly me! Of course that’s not it! Of course! Ha! The Apple family loves their trees; they wouldn't dare revolt against you… only against Cheerilee!” The alicorn then gently smacks herself in the head with her wing, purple feathers falling to the floor as a result. “Silly me! HA!”

Three. Three times did Applejack blink blankly at the scene before her.

“... Er, Twilight?” Applejack finally builds up the courage to ask. “Are... are you… okay?”

In that moment, Twilight’s body suddenly becomes deathly still.

The rising and falling of her chest as she breathed, the blinking of her eyes, the twitching of her wings and tail, even the falling of stray feathers; all remained spectacularly frozen in time, locked in the instant these words had left the earth pony’s lips. Applejack held her breath, as if even the slightest of movements would cause an explosion the likes to which her furry behind would never truly recover from.

After a time, Twilight's answer finally comes in all its horrific glory.

“... Oh, don’t worry. I’m okay, Applejack.”

Applejack pauses at this.

“... Really, sug?

Twilight closes her eyes gently as her smile began to grow slightly softer, making it finally look real. With an aura of serenity radiating off her very form, one that finds itself wrapped around Applejack like a warm blanket, forcing her to smile as well, the former librarian slowly opens her mouth and replies...

“No.”

The aura blanket of good tidings was then swiftly yanked from Applejack’s grip and promptly thrown into a fire.

“I” the positively powerfully pissed off pretty pony princess began to rant thunderously, “have been doing nothing, nothing these past few days but fix every earth ponies' problem! Every, single, one! I know I’m the resident expert of the arcane in this town, Applejack, but that doesn’t mean I instantly know what the hay is going to happen to your rose garden when a giant freaking castle of pure crystallized magic decides to plant and grow itself right smack dab in the middle of a magical earth pony layline!" A light shower of plumage falls to the ground as Twilight began to twitch. "I-I didn’t even know that was a thing until this last week when I started doing the research into how in the horse hell this damn place was even possible! You know how it is though, AJ?”

Caught in the middle of her body loading the necessary chemicals to initiate the ‘Fight or Flight’ reflex command, Applejack simply nods her head “No” and prays to the powers that be that this was the answer that her friend was looking for.

“It’s possible by eating all the magic out of the ground to nourish itself!" the flustered ponies answers with a laugh. "A-applejack... my new stupid home is a freaking, fluffing, Celestiadamn, parasite! A freaking parasite! A parasite that eats magic! Magic!

"That's... t-that's absolutely horrifying, AJ! Horrifying! Hay, if it wasn’t for the years upon years of magic fortification that's been built up here thanks to earth ponies simply trotting from place to place, everypony would have probably died by now! Sucked dry in the name of friendship! Ha! T-that’s a great tagline, isn’t it? Come see the Friendship Castle, everypony! It’ll eat your damn soul but colt is it pretty! Nice rainbow beam, am I right?!”

“It… ah… k-kill everypony?”

Twilight shakes her hoof passingly at Applejack's first real comment to the startling revelation. “Eh, well, probably... but not anymore. The soil here is full of earth pony magic, with or without that layline. It’ll be thousands of years before this place becomes some lich pony’s castle... But that’s not the problem anymore.

"The problem is that some of the Everfree’s wild magic has been pouring into the now empty pockets of ambient magic scattered around town, creating chaotic results. Discord has been helping me in that department, but he can't do much right now. The other princesses and I are still reluctant to let him have back all of his magic...”

Twilight’s wings, along with the rest of her body, finally slump lowly as the exhaustion of it all finally catches up with her.

“... Him, Spike, and the other girls have been the only people and ponies available to help me right now, but it still doesn't feel like enough...”

“... Oh… oh sugarcube," Applejack speaks up after a much needed moment of silence. "I’m... I'm so, so sorry. I-I didn’t have the slightest clue. It’s apple bucking season again and, well, you know how things get around my home when that happens…”

Expertly balancing on three legs, the farmer gently drapes a fetlock around the tired princess’s, her friend's, neck.

“That’s no excuse though. You should have sent somepony to get me; I would have helped you, rain or shine.”

"..."

Twilight eventually leans into Applejack’s embrace, sighing softly as she accepted it. “It’s... okay, Applejack, and you’re right that we should have got you. We didn't think it was necessary though; we all figured that you would have come running to town at some point once something strange happened on your farm...”

“But nothin’ happened Twi,” AJ replies in their pony embrace, doing her best to look over.

Twilight raises an eyebrow at this as she looks over to her friend as well. “Really? Nothing? No abnormal trees or fruit? No strange weather or horrific Tartarus-spawns roaming your premises? Nothing at all?”

“No, nothin’ like tha-” Applejack starts to say, but she then quickly cuts herself off, having remembered something. “No, wait… shoot. I lied. There is something screwy going on back on the farm, and it’s the whole reason I came stormin' in here for.”

“What’s that?” is Twilight's simple reply.

The farmer breaks away from the friendly embrace as she explains clearly how “Some unwelcomed new flowers have started growin' near mah barn. I need help removin' them and help curin’ mah brother of them.”

“... Curing? Why do you…” Twilight starts to ask, but then her eyes narrow. Her features grew rigid as well as she mutters “Poison joke” angrily under her breath.

“Yup” Applejack nods her head solemnly. “I don’t know how to remove those kinds of weeds. Figured it be a job for unicorn or alicorn magic, seeing as how earth pony magic doesn’t really work on things from the Everfree like them."

A frustrated sigh escapes Twilight’s muzzle, predicting an incoming increase in her workload. “Yeah, it is. Normal fire doesn’t work on the stuff. You need controlled spellfire to make sure it doesn't grow back. I'll try to make some time when I can...” the young mare's face suddenly brightens, a thought having crossed her mind. “Actually, wait… I think Spike’s breath would work just fine here! I’ll send him your way when I next see him and-”

“That’s probably not the, er, best idea right now, Twi.” Applejack interrupts uncharacteristically shyly. “W-we would need to fix mah brother first before that could work.”

Twilight blinks in response. “Oh… right. You said Big Mac got infected…”

A timid Applejack nods her head in confirmation. “Yeah. He’s the one who found the patch when he was doing his chores earlier; s-stepped right into it, the big lug.”

“Ah. I see. So you want your brother cured first… is his affliction really that bad?”

The farmer grimaces.

“The worst. It’s… well… have you ever heard of the expression, ‘If you ain’t got anything nice to say, don’t say it at all’?”

Twilight raises an eyebrow slowly.

“Yes…?” She asks cautiously, only to suddenly receive a leveled glare from Applejack. Though it quickly became apparent it was not a stare meant for her, but perhaps another.

“My brother never talks," the work horse states plainly, gritting her teeth as she does. "If we don't fix him soon, Ponyville is gonna to find out why that is.”

Chapter 2 [EDITED]

“What do you mean he’s not here?!”

The elderly mare, Granny Smith, continues to stare out over the field before her as she slowly rocks back and forth in her rocking chair, promptly ignoring her granddaughter beside her.

"I meant what I said, sweet pea,” she replies slowly, still staring forward tiredly. “Your brother walked off and into town. Said somethin' about needin' to talk to somepony about somethin' or other…” Granny Smith’s head then droops. “... amongst other things.”

With the uttering of these words, the two young mares present exchange quick, yet worried, glances with one another before returning their attention to their elder.

“... Granny,” Applejack starts her question cautiously. “Did Mac… say anything to you while he was here? Anything that didn’t quite sound like himself?”

Halting her rocking, the old earth pony slowly shakes her head from side to side in confirmation.

“Yes… and no..." she explains in a drained tone. "I... I reckon everything he said was from the heart. Every last bit of it...”

Orange fur meets faded green as Applejack hobbles closer to her granny, hugging her tenderly.

“Oh Granny,” she coos soothingly. “Don’t you fret now; Big Mac is just sick is all. He stepped in those same lousy flowers as I did all those moons ago and went all loopy," Applejack's grip tightens ever so tightly. "You know he didn’t mean anything he said...”

Granny sighs at this, leaning her head against her spry granddaughter's own. “I… I-I just can’t believe it though....”

“You don’t have to," the cowfilly replied quickly and fiercely in her embrace. "Those hurtful things he said were just straight up li-”

“... Hurtful?” suddenly interrupts the green earth pony; breaking out of her embrace and looking at the youngin before her queerly. “What in tarnation are you talking about, filly? The words that came out of your brother’s mouth were some of the nicest, kindest, sweetest things anypony could have said to an old mare like me!”

“Wha?” intelligently inquires Applejack and Twilight, both ponies clearly confuzzled.

The old pony simply smiles.

“... He said that I was like a mother to him; that no matter how hard I ever was on him growin' up, that no matter how quiet he usually is, that fact would always be true.” Granny Smith's smile becomes warm as she looks past her two guests and takes in the sight of her orchard in its entirety instead.

“He said nothing but nice things to me," she continues, her form radiating pure contentedness. "... answering every little dangling doubt I ever had in mah head and in mah heart... It was a lovely time.”

A moment of silence transpires between the three mares as one stares out over the orchard, one stares at her kin, and the third stares at both.

“... Why did you think he was only gonna to say nasty things to me, sugarcube?”

Applejack, having been caught completely on the spot, sputters as she replies “W-well, this mornin’, that’s all he said to me! Told me mah hat was ugly and that mah mane smelled bad…”

“And?”

“A-... a-and?”

“Was that all he said to you?”

“Er… well, yeah…" the apple mare admitted sheepishly, feeling more like an apple filly under her granny's stare. "B-but... b-b-but that’s only because I-I noticed the blue spots on his tongue right away! I just had to ran off after that as fast as I could to get Twilight here to fix him!”

Twilight, now being the one caught on the spot, stands as still as a statue as her friend gallops up to her side and begins to rummage through her star-branded saddlebags without the princess's consent.

“See?” Applejack calls from within the bag, her teeth clamped around a little baggy of herbs that she had claimed from its recesses. “The cure for poison joke! I knew Twilight had some with her. She told me before how she keeps some in her bag, in case of poison joke emergencies!”

“Please don’t say it like that. It makes it sound like I’m Pinkie Pie...”

Twilight’s first real contribution to the conversation was promptly ignored as Applejack continues to speak.

“I just had to cure him lickety split! He was talking a mile a minute and I knew, I knew he was gonna eventually say something that he’d regret! So I ha-”

“Like what?”

“... Beg pardon?”

With her bones creaking loudly, making one fear that she had actually broken something, Granny Smith returns to her rocking chair slowly and then gives her granddaughter a leveled stare, her forelegs crossed as she does.

“What were you afraid of him saying to me?”

"..."

Applejack’s face begins to scrunch up.

“Er, n-nothin’.” she answers, eyes darting every which way except in her grandmother’s direction. “Just, you know… stuff.”

Granny raises an eyebrow.

“... Stuff?”

Her stetson nearly flies off her head as Applejack nods vigorously. “Uh huh, stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff; it don’t really matter. He’s spewin’ his heart out to ponies! That can’t be a good thing!”

“... I reckon,” Granny admits after a time… but then her eyes narrowed. “Although… you seemed awfully sure that he was going to say something nasty to me, sugarcube.”

Sweat runs down AJ's face.

“Um…”

“But he didn’t.”

“Y-... y-yeah...”

“But you thought there was gonna to be something bad said…

"... why is that?”

“W-with…” Twilight finally speaks up, shrinking back as two sets of eyes turn to look at her in response. A little more steadily then before, she tries again. “W-with... W-well... j-judging by the symptoms Applejack described to me, it can be assumed that Big Macintosh’s poison joke affliction is causing him to speak nonstop. Judging by his soft spoken lifestyle, it can be assumed that he holds many secrets and opinions about those around him that he’d rather not share with anypony. While it’s possible that he might simply share favorable opinions about certain individuals, odds are that he will eventually say something hurtful… n-not that there’s anything hurtful to say about you though, Granny Smith! H-heh...”

“... Right…” replies the elder, her eyes still narrowed.

“W-we,” Applejack speaks up before clearing her throat and trying again. “We should probably catch up to him and get him back here on the double! Come on, Twi! And... er... um... B-byeGrannyloveyousomuchbyeagainbye!”

In a puff of dust orange workhorse was suddenly gone. The speck that was her body could be seen galloping over the hills and away into the distance. Giving Granny an apologetic smile, Twilight unfolds her wings and takes off after her wayward friend.

Granny Smith watches the two leave, frown still etched to her face… until both are clearly out of sight, that is. Leaning back into her chair, the elderly mare begins to chuckle to herself softly.

“Hehe, oh Applejack; you’re such a silly pony sometimes.”

____________

“Twilight!” Applejack calls to her right, were the princess was now currently gliding in an attempt to match her friend's speed. “We need to figure out where Big Mac went and stop him before he does something stupid!”

Twilight nods her head in mid flight; a dumb idea which she quickly rectified with the flap of her wings. “I know, AJ. I know... I don’t understand why he went into town though. Is there anypony he deals with on a regular basis that he’d maybe want to unload on?”

“... What? Are you askin’ me if there’s somepony specific mah brother would want to rant at?”

“Um… er… y-yeah," sheepishly admits Miss Sparkle. "I-it makes the most logical sense as to why he wouldn’t simply stay in his room though...” A thought suddenly crosses Twilight’s mind. “Wait... He does know that he’s sick today; right, Applejack?”

Applejack slows down thanks to this question, her head now lowered in thought. The alicorn, seeing this, makes a quick aerial u-turn and gently lands by her friend's side.

“I…” responds Applejack after a time. “I think he knows. I left in a hurry, but he did seemed shocked at what he was sayin’ when I talked to him...”

This causes Twilight to lower her head as well, trying to put together the pieces.

“So he knows he’s sick, yet he still ventured outside… into town…”

“Even though he knows that he’s gonna say somethin’ he regrets…” adds Applejack.

“Hmmm…” ponders Twilight as she scratches her chin.

“Hmmm…” ponders Applejack as she wipes sweat from her forehead.

“Hmmm…” ponders Pinkie Pie as she brushes her mane with a hoof.

...

... This, unquestionably, scares the living crap out of the previous two heroines.

“Ah!”

“Pinkiewhattheactualhay?!”

“Shhh…” Pinkie Pie shushes softly. “I’m thinking about something you two.”

Having recovered, Twilight grunts frustratingly at her friend's words.

“Pinkie, what are you doing here?" she asks plainly. "You’re supposed to be helping me find more weird agricultural events happening all over town!”

Pinkie waves her friend's words off passingly with the simple wave of her hoof. “Yeah, I know, and I was. See, I even made a list!”

With the glow of magic Twilight procures said list, quickly reading it over.

“... Pinkie, all this says is that ‘bad stuff be goin’ down’...”

The party pony nods. “I know. I’m good. I’m very humble about it now though. Toning down the pride, ya know?”

A very unprincess-like groan emanates from Twilight’s mouth.

Applejack steps in to save the day.

“Pinks, what’s got you so down today, filly?”

Forgetting her annoyance briefly, Twilight decides to take a better look at her pink friend before her. Applejack was right; Pinkie was not her usual peppy self at the moment. While she wasn’t quite flat-mane, back-the-buck-back (as Rainbow Dash calls it) mode yet, she still seemed quite down.

“Well,” said the pink pony. “I... I’m just feeling all crummy because of what Big Mac said to me...”

Applejack and Twilight exchange glances at this yet again.

“... Pinkie, did mah brother say somethin' that made you upset?”

“... Yeah, he did,” admits Pinkie with a sigh.

Twilight steps forward. “Can you go over, in detail, about what happened to you, Pinkie?”

Though she contemplates it for a solid five seconds, Pinkie eventually nods her head, sits down on the ground, and prepares to repeat her tale.

Author's Note

The following fourth-wall breaking passage of dialogue has been removed due to negative reader feedback:

Twilight steps forward. “Can you go over, in detail, what happened to you?”

Pinkie rubs a hoof behind her head awkwardly.

“Er, yeah I can… but not right now. Next time I can though.”

“... Next time?” asks Twilight. “What’s next time, Pinkie? When’s next time?”

The party pony sits on her haunches and shrugs. “Dunno. Could be now, in a few minutes, next week, next month; it all really depends on the author’s available time which, if his/her past update schedule is any indication, isn’t that flexible or reliable. You’ll be lucky to hear the story at all!”

“...”

“...”

“... Pinkie... what the hay are you talkin’ about, girl?”

Jumping up onto her hooves, Pinkie displays some of her usual character by explaining “The cliffhanger hook, silly! I’m talking about the cheap ploy authors use to get ponies to keep on reading their masterpieces/dreck!” She then smiles widely. “Duh!”

Applejack and Twilight simply stare at their fuzzy pink friend. The gears in their mind spin as they futility try to understand what was just explained to them, but it is of no use as Pinkie waves goodbye and the scene ends.

Chapter 3 [EDITED]

"... Is... is she gonna talk anytime soon?"

Looking over briefly to Applejack, considering her question, Twilight slowly shakes her head.

"I... I honestly don't know, Applejack," she replies, now considering the pink mare before them. "She's just... sitting there... staring off into space..."

The party pony suddenly whips her head around towards her two friends, eyes wide. As Pinkie Pie jumps back to her hooves so too does Twilight and Applejack jump back away from the now energetic pony.

"Oh!," Pinkie shouts. "Sorry about that, girls! I must have zoned out there for a bit, hehe."

After a moment of silence, Twilight Sparkle replies with the role of her eyes and by saying "That's... okay, Pinkie. Can you now please tell us what you saw?"

Beaming once again, the sugar fiend chimes "Gotcha dotcha!" With the sweep of her tail, Pinkie clears off the ground beneath her and then promptly takes a seat. "Okay. Here's how it all went down..."

_______________

So I was hopping down the road here, right? Just hopping and skipping and generally frolicking...

"You were supposed to be helping me, Pinkie..."

Shhhhh; your auntie Pinkie Pie is telling a story, Twi Twi. It's not nice to interrupt.

"Why were you so darn close to my home anyways, sugarcu-

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

"..."

"..."

... Good! Anyways; so there I was frolicking, having a grand old time... when all of a sudden...

"Hi there Big Mac!" I called out to the big red stallion. I was really surprised to see that particular pony this close to the place where he usually lives and works! I mean, what were the odds?!

"About seventy-five percent I'd thin-"

DO I NEED TO MAKE YOU SIT IN THE CORNER, YOUNG LADY PRINCESS?!

"... I'll be good."

... Great! Hehe! So, as I was saying...

"What are you doing here, big guy?" I asked him nicely, giving him my copyrighted, do not steel, smile. Big Mac didn't seem too happy to see me though. He was quietly talking to himself and he looked so very stressed and tired... stresired! When he finally looked at me, his eyes got real big and his face grew even longer! It was like he was really sad to see me! That was new!

"Miss Pinkie Pie," he said quickly. "M-mornin' to you... great mornin'... excellent mornin'... best mornin' I've seen in quite a good long while; perfect for apple growin', buckin', and producin' apple based products to sell to non-apple enriched ponies for the sake of mah apple themed family to whom I love all except for on-" And then he slapped a hoof over his mouth.

I was speechless...I was speechless! It usually takes me hours to get Big Mac to open up to me like that! Wowyzowy! I didn't know what had changed with him, but this was going to be amazing!

... Or so I thought.

"Mac!" I said. "Wowyzowy! You're kinda talkative today!"

He sighed when I said that.

"Eeyup... yes, correct, indeed, yeah, affirmative, damn straig-" and then his hoof met his mouth again. His face drooped as he removed it. "Pinkie, it's awful. I can't stop talkin'! I just can't! It feels like mah lips have to keep on flappin' or else I can't breathe!"

I giggled at that, relating to his woos. "I have that same problem too... well, actually more like the complete opposite! I talk soooo much that I can't breathe! The trick is to breathe when ponies aren't looking! That way you can talk extra extra extra extra long! It's the only real way to get the super important information across."

"But nothin' you ever say is ever important."

This gave me pause.

"... What do you mean, Mac?"

Big Mac looked away.

"Darn it all to Tartarus. Miss Pi-, no, cousin Pie, I didn't mean anything by that. This darn poison jokes got me talkin' up a storm. I feel compelled to tell everypony everythin' whether I want to or not..."

"But," I said, not in my usual cheerful voice but in my rarely used serious 'quite' voice. "B-but what you said is true, right?"

He looked really upset after I asked him that.

"Pinkie," he began. "You are by far the most cheerful pony I have ever had the pleasure of knowin'. You've dedicated you life to makin' other ponies happy and for that I respect you..."

I remember smiling at that...

"... but you're also the most irresponsible, borderline insane mare I've ever had the pleasure of warnin' other ponies about."

... I remember losing my smile at that.

"W-warn?"

Big Mac then nodded his head.

"I... I do. I warn all new residence to Ponyville I meet about your quirks. I warn them that you can be invasive, annoyin', and generally dangerous. I especially warn any new parents I cross paths with about you; tell them to keep an eye on their foals so they don't pick up your habits."

"O-oh..." I said gloomily.

"Everypony still loves you though," he tried to reassure me.

"Y-yeah, but..."

"Everypony, Pinkie," he said a bit more forcefully. "You know it's the truth..."

"... B-but..."

Big Mac then grunted angrily. "Darn it all," he said to himself. "This was what I didn't want to be doin' today." He started to head back the way he came, muttering to himself all the while. "Need to lay low... but I don't want to hurt mah family... maybe the park... but... b-but I need to talk to somepony... Urgh!"

With one last grunt he walked off towards town, leaving me here to... think.

___________

"And that's what happened," Pinkie Pie finishes, having returned to her usual cheery self.

"Oh Pinkie," Twilight starts sympathetically, her wing draped over the party pony's back comfortingly. "Are you okay? That was quite the rant you got..."

Pinkie bobs her head up and down happily.

"Uh huh. I'm okie dokie, really! I had some time to really think about it and, well, I think I'm okay with what Big Mac said. I am a bit too hyper at times, aren't I?"

Applejack, having momentarily been lost in thought, shakes her head in order to return to the present and give the party pony a warm smile.

"You are without a doubt, girl, but we love ya' all the same."

And thus a three way hug ensued.

"... Still though," Twilight finally says, breaking the hug up. "We really should try to find Big Macintosh. I'm starting to suspect that his affliction might be more serious then we thought."

"W-what do you mean, sugarcube?" Applejack asks fearfully, looking at her friend.

Twilight looks over at the farmer in return.

"Given the clues present in Pinkie Pie's story," she began. "I think we can assume that there's more to this affliction then we originally thought. He said he didn't want to stay at home because he was worried about hurting his family. What we can take away from this is that he has no control over what he says, not even control over when he says it."

The farmer simply tilts her head to the side.

"... Huh?"

"He said 'I need to talk to somepony'!" Pinkie explains loudly with a gasp, answering Applejack. "He said that he doesn't want to hurt anypony, but he still said that he needs to talk to somepony!" She then turns towards the sole alicorn in the group, actually looking serious. "He can't control that either, right Twilight?"

Twilight nods her head happily in return.

"That's correct, Pinkie!" she replies with a smile. "I think Big Mac has been given some sort of physiological need to talk to ponies, thus he's subconsciously seeking them out against his best wishes!"

"... Boy howdy," Applejack remarks, taking off her Stetson and resting it against her chest. "T-that's terrible! If that's true, then we need to round him up this instant!".

"I know." Twilight answers simply before continuing. "I think we'll need to split up for this, girls."

With the flap of her wings, Twilight takes to the sky. She calls down instructions as she ascends. "Applejack, you head off into town and look for him there. Look at parks and stores and wherever he may or may not go. He's your brother, so you should have the best chance in locating him."

Applejack pauses for a moment, something having crossed her mind, but then the orange earth pony shakes her head yet again and gives her friend a firm salute. "You got it," she confirms, placing her hat back atop her head.

"Pinkie Pie," Twilight continued to list. "Try to round up the other girls. Tell them the situation and try to get them to go with you. If they're busy with the chaos magic though then tell them to keep focusing on that for now. Applejack's patch might not be the only Poison Joke patch in town right now..."

"Okie dokie lokie!" salutes the pink earth pony quickly, now standing atop her hind legs.

Smiling comfortingly, Twilight finishes her instructions. "I'm going to try to search by the sky," she explains. "I'll keep you girls updated whenever I find som-"

Twilight's instructions were then suddenly cut off by a prismatic blur racing past her field of vision, momentarily shocking her out of her flight. After a quick adjustment, she rights herself out and lands roughly next to her two earthbound friends.

"Was... w-was that Rainbow Dash?" asks Applejack, staring at the colorful magical coattail now disappearing into the distance.

The princess of the group looks backwards momentarily, towards where the blur had come from, and then back towards where it was going. Frowning, she quickly spreads out her wings and lowers herself into a launching position.

"It was," she replies grimly, her smile now replaced with a neutral expression. She then smoothly transitions into giving more orders. "Change of plan, girls; Applejack, head down that way towards where Rainbow Dash came from. I think you'll find Big Macintosh there. I'm going to follow her this way. Pinkie, your goal is still the same, just exclude Rainbow Dash from the equation."

"You know I'm allergic to math, Twilight."

Ignoring Pinkie's assumed attempt at a mood lightening joke, Applejack asks the alicorn "What makes you so sure Big Mac is that way, Twi?"

Twilight's features grew hard. She refused to look at her friends and their worried expressions as she mutters "Because she was crying" before taking off into the big blue sky.

Chapter 4 [EDITED]

"M-mornin' to you... great mornin'... excellent mornin'... best mornin' I've seen in quite a good long while; perfect for apple growing, bucking, and producing apple based products to sell to non-apple enriched ponies for the sake of mah apple themed family to whom I love all except for on-"

Pinkie's deep, accented words echo through Applejack's mind as she galloped down the path. They were the words her brother had uttered in his poison joke afflicted state. They were meaningless, pointless, and none of her business.

... Yet she knew that they might hold the slightest sliver of painful truth in them.

"... whom I love all except for..."

"... I love all except for..."

"except for..."

Applejack shook her head, returning her attention to the road ahead. She knew he would say hurtful things, she knew. Already he had hurt Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash... and maybe one more... but now wasn't the time to think about such things. Now was the time to save her brother from himself. Their sibling love for one another would see them through this turmoil...

... even if that love might turn out to be one-sided.

"..."

Dust flows off of Applejack's coat as she gallops even harder along the path.

___________

"Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!! Rain...Urgh!"

Try as Twilight might, it was no use. The elusive rainbow mare had refused to appear before the crowned princess of friendship; before her friend. Nothing but semi-cloudy skies could be seen in every direction she looked. Exhausted, the alicorn gently lowers herself to a nearby cloud, resting her tired wings.

"Urgh," she again groans to herself. "Just what I needed right now... Wasn't bad enough that the entire town has been literally turned upside down again, oh no; today just had to give me a large poison joked-up stallion with a side order of broken feelings and a medium-sized confusion drink..."

Gurgle

Twilight blinks at the sudden sound.

"... And I only now realize that I've forgotten to eat today. Of course....

"...URGH!"

With a second unprincess-like angry growl, violet magic begins to seep off of Twilight's horn as her voice rises higher and higher.

"Anything else you want to throw at me today, Equestria?!" her rant began, all the fatigue of the past week having finally caught up with her. "Huh?! Any, fluffing, thing, else?!"

The clouds around her start to shake as her volume increases.

"Wanna tell me that Tirek has escaped again, or that a new swarm of parasprites are on their way to eat us all or something?!"

Magic flares around Twilight's being, amplifying her voice until it boomed greatly into the empty skies around her.

"How about Sombra? Huh?! We blew his flank up good, but I'm suuuuuurrrrre he's good for a comeback right about now!

"Or what about Chrysalis or Nightmare Moon?!

"... or Flash?! How about that creepy stalker pony FLASH?! Maybe he's found another loophole in his restraining order!! Hahaha! HAHAHAH!!

She is all but screaming at this point; her voice a maelstrom of anger and frustration rivaling that of a teenager, pony or otherwise. Though, to Twilight's little credit; her voice is nearing but never quite fully embracing the fabled Royal Canterlot level of torturous volume.

At least credit her that much, fair reader.

The angered pony gives out one final "Yeah!" as her rant reaches its zenith. "That could happen! That could totally happen! Knowing how tod-, no, this wee-, no, this life of mine's been? I WOULDN'T FREAKING DOUBT IT!!!"

"IT!!"

"It!"

"It..."

Twilight's words echo... quite the feat considering that her environment is nothing more then a collection of fluffy white clouds and an empty void of blue. Nonetheless, the mysteriously echoing words begin to slowly die in the resulting silence, returning to the void from whence they came. All that could be heard now was the sole pony's ragged breathing.

Beyond that, all was silent.

"... Wow. Drama queen much?"

Twilight's acute ears swirl at the sudden sound, and so too does her head. Her eyes are soon drawn to a suspiciously darkened rain cloud next to her, whose existence she would have noticed sooner if it wasn't for her slowly degrading mind. Glaring at it, the thoroughly through alicorn quickly applies some magical pressure to the talkative cumulus and tears it to shreds.

A puffy eyed, snot-nosed Rainbow Dash tumbles out of her destroyed cover and unceremoniously flops onto the lower hanging cloud that Twilight is perched upon.

Twilight glares at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow stares right back.

A moment of silence passes.

"... Rain-"

ZOOM!

In an explosion of colors, the pegasus takes off into the blue skies.

"... Celestia damnit straight past Tartarus on a direct course for horse hell where the bubbling smooze flows endlessly and where all the bad ponies forever roam upon hot coals RAINBOW DASH GET YOUR SPECTRAL BUTT BACK HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SPLICE YOU WITH A BUCKING ORANGE!!!"

In an similar explosion of colors, although much more heavily reliant on purples and pinks, the young alicorn gives chase.

___________

Applejack was quickly able to pick up her brother's trail as soon as she entered the Ponyville Park...

... though it came at the cost of having to step over the fallen forms of all the wannabee suitors; all of whom who had just had their collective hearts stomped on by a one Big Macintosh Apple.

"'Don't even bother'?" Applejack overheard Lyra Heartstrings repeat to herself gloomily, her back pressed up against the grass and her face covered in fresh tears. "He... h-he was a bit out of my league, I guess... Nut how did he know that I held feelings for him and only him, Bon Bon?! How did he know?!"

The cream coated mare sitting beside the minty unicorn twitches her left eye sporadically as a result of her 'marefriend's' question.

"I-I don't know, dear heart. It's a mystery to everypony... me especially... h-heheh..."

Applejack doesn't hear the rest of this apparently one-sided couple's 'talk' as she continues forward. Her ears soon pick up more and more similar conversations as she trots along though.

"... 'Pretty smile but too obsessed'? Well excccuuuse me for taking care of my health," pouts Colgate, the town's dentist.

"... 'Bland and uninteresting'... m-maybe I should pick up a new hobby..." mumbles Twinkleshine, the town's... pony.

"... 'Incomprehensible cutie mark'. Yeah... I agree with you there, buddy," says a tired looking Seabreeze, the town's... oceanic researcher? Applejack was never too sure.

"I-I... I knew I didn't have a chance... b-but he didn't need to be so upfront about it!" wailed a heartbroken Roseluck, the town's organic emergency broadcast system, as she lays in a heap on the ground in the middle of Applejack's path. Her sisters and one brown stallion were cooing her with kind reassurances as the farming mare reluctantly approaches them.

"Howdy," she greets, though her voice held no good cheer. "I reckon you've seen mah brother pass by these parts..."

Lilly breaks off from the group and nods her head.

"Yeah," she explains somberly, though some of her anger began to seep through. "He went by in a rush, talking to just about everypony he bumped into. Mostly he was just saying hello and saying stuff about the weather or trimmed grass or whatever..."

Time Turner picks up Lilly's slack, continuing the retelling; unlike his sheepish florist friend, the brown earth pony allowed his anger to be on full display. "But when Rose here said hi back to him, he want on a bloody rant! The girls stepped in to help before I got here, but he just tore into them as well! 'Not interested in your thin flank', 'You have a poisonous personality', 'I don't like your mane'?! He was a right old monster!"

Applejack grimaces, to which Time Turner narrows his eyes in contemplation.

"Although," he goes on, rubbing his chin as he does. Some of his anger waned as well. "That is the same face he made right before galloping off. Think I heard a 'sorry' in there somewhere as well... but I can't be so sure right now."

"He stepped in poison joke recently," Applejack was quick to explain, trying vainly to protect his brother's reputation. "He literally can't stop talking! Please Turner, Rose, Lilly, Daisy; you've got to believe me! Big Mac would never say those kinda things!"

Daisy speaks up, her voice hollow; lacking Lilly's shyness or Turner's now calmer demeanor. "No... but he'd think them, right?"

Applejack takes a step back. "N-no, he wouldn't..."

The flower pony's smiles, though it held the same emptiness as her voice.

"Oh come on, Applejack; even siblings don't know everything that goes on in their brother's and sister's heads. This is probably what he really thinks of us... of all of us..."

"N-no!" Applejack stomps, refusing to accept this. "I know he can't stop himself, but Mac is a sweet soul! He wouldn't even think such things! It just ain't like him!"

"Well... not usually," Daisy replies. "But if his lips were loosened by, say, poison joke..."

"Daisy, that's enough," stops Time Turner, placing a hoof upon her whither. "Miss Applejack," he continues, facing the pony in question. "Not to defend him, Celestia knows we can't ignore what Big Macintosh has said and done already here today... but, speaking as a stallion myself, I can confirm that some, if not most of us, do in fact have such thoughts about mares from time to time. It's just in pony nature to rate and judge those around us."

The brown earth pony is soon given a level glare from his three mare friends.

He brushes this off with the simple wave of his hoof. "Yes yes; I'm aware that I'm throwing myself under the train car here, but it's for a noble cause! As a note, I'd imagine mares are the same way towards stallions, whether you'll admit to it or not..."

The four mares present suddenly find their surroundings much more interesting then the current conversation.

"Anyways, Applejack," Time Turner returns his attention to the apple pony, who in turn does the same for him. "Big Mac hides things; you need to accept that fact if you two are to move past this horrible day when it is all said and done. Do you understand me?"

Applejack remains silent.

With an eventual sigh though, so nods her head in understanding "... Yeah... reckon I do, Turner."

The stallion smiles genuinely.

"Excellent," he comments. Lifting a foreleg, he then points towards the rightmost path before them. "He headed down that way not five minutes ago, Miss Jack. He was galloping pretty fast but something, or sadly somepony, might distract him along the way and slow him down. You'll need to be quick to catch up with him. Good luck."

With the quick tilt of her stetson and a stretch of her hooves Applejack is off. "Thank ya kindly for your help!" she shouts behind her. "I'll get this fixed; just wait and see!" She stops before the bridge leaving the park. "Oh, a-and thanks for the advice too, Turner."

"Think nothing of it," the stallion replies.

With a smile, Applejack departs yet again.

"... You're waaaayyy too nice for your own good, TT" speaks up Roseluck, her tears having tried quiet a bit.

Time Turner shrugs at this.

"Not really," he retorts. "Anypony else would have done the same thing in my horseshoes."

"What makes you so sure?" asks Daisy.

The brown stallion takes his eyes off Applejack's retreating backside, the town's clock inspector turns explains to his gathered friends

"Well think about it, girls. Big Mac just vomited nothing but heart breaking truth to just about every mare, and some stallions, in this park today..."

"Yeah, and?" Lilly asks, tilting her head.

Turner cringes.

"... Think how many bad things you yourself can say about Miss Applejack right here and now, multiply that number by twenty or so years...

"... and then apply the power of family to the result."

Silence reins.

In the silence, the three mares pause and quickly look to one another.

"... Oh wow," speaks up Lilly. "She's bucked."

Turner simply nods.

"Astronomically so."

Author's Note

Thank you editor Thardoc for your help!

Chapter 6

"I'm gonna jump!"

"Ah Celestia damnit, not again," grunts a tired Applejack as she stops before town hall. A crowd had gathered there, momentarily barring her from her quest to save her brother. While normally she could easily have muscled her way through such an obstacle, the sight of the weathered old earth pony, Mayor Mare, dangling outside of the topmost floor's windowsill had caused the farmer to switch priorities. Stepping to the front of the crowd, Applejack calls up "What is it this time, Mayor?"

The politician looks down from her perch and screams "I'm a charlatan and a fraud! I don't deserve to lead you all anymore! I don't deserve to live anymore!"

Applejack groans. "Is this about Princess Twilight again?" she calls up.

Mayor Mare shakes her head.

"Is it about that chaos hoopla going around right now?"

Again the pony shakes her head.

"Are you still upset over Twilight's Death Cas-, er, I mean 'Friendship' castle? Is that it?" asks Applejack with a frustrated huff. "Dagnabbit, Mayor, we've already apologized for that! It wasn't our intention for it to grow here... or at all!"

For the third time, Mayor Mare simply shakes her head.

"N-no, my good Applejack. This has nothing to do with Princess Twilight or anything else happening in town presently. No... I'm afraid this has been building up for far too long. For too long have I been nothing more then a burden upon this fair town. For too long has it suffered my tyranny! For too lon-"

"You talked to Big Mac," replies Applejack with a flat expression.

Mayor Mare blinks.

"... Yes."

Applejack sighs. "Mayor, girl; you can't keep throwing yourself off buildings every time somepony expresses a negative opinion about you."

"B-but he said..."

"I know what he said," the farmer cuts her off. "Celestia above I know. If there's one thing mah brother won't shut up about its his gosh darn political views. It ain't your fault, Mayor. He just ain't a fan of most, if not all, politicians."

"I... I see..." Mayor the mare replies dejectedly.

"... Say, while you're up there, think you can lend me a hoof and tell me where he's at?"

Still feeling emotionally drained; the Mayor adjusts her spectacles, gazes out over Ponyville, and then points a hoof to the east. "I-I think I see him by Quills and Sofas."

With the tilt of her hat, Applejack replies "Much obliged" and gallops off through the dispersing crowd.

Mayor Mare simply sits there, on her perch, and watches the goings-on of the town before her, lost in thought.

"... Um... so... a-are you going to...?"

The Mayor waves a passive hoof at Thunderlane, and subsequently the entire flock of pegasi behind him, and says "No... no I think I'm good for today, my fair citizens..." In a lower voice, she adds "T-thank you for being here for me though."

The stallion smiles. "Heh. Anytime. Right gang?"

The winged ponies of the impromptu suicide death watch squad nod their heads in agreement, giving the Mayor words of encouragement as they do. The sight of it all gently warms the old mare's heart.

______________

Twilight bobs left.

Rainbow bobs right.

Twilight flies up.

Rainbow loops down.

Twilight teleports to Rainbow's side.

Rainbow outfoxes her by putting on a burst of speed.

'Urgh!' mentally groans the princess. 'I-I just can't catch her! Maybe if I was better rested and not so darn hungry I could outsmart her or something, but like this...'

Rainbow suddenly stops zigzagging in the airspace and tightens up her arch into a straight-line path.

After a few seconds a mach cone begins to form at the tip of her hooves.

'Ah hay no!'

With the flare of her horn, Twilight reaches out and begins scraping against Rainbow's distant hoof. The purple aura blinks in and out as the magic tries to take hold, but never quite makes it. Still though, it manages to distract Dash long enough for the cone to lose its form. Rainbow tries again, only for her hoof to be gently knocked to the side, again ruining a freshly made air cone. Twilight smiles at her success, but the joy is short lived as her magic begins to weaken and as Rainbow speeds further and further away.

The cone begins to form yet again, and this time Twilight can't reach.

'Think think think!!' Twilight panics. 'She's about to sonic boom! I-I can't match that kinda speed! Even if I used my magic to boost myself like I did at the Summer Sun Celebration I'd only be able to... to...'

Twilight's mind suddenly blanks.

An incredibly stupid idea begins to form in the brilliant alicorn's brain.

'... Take her current speed and velocity... compare it to my own... equate for approximated distance... estimate current magic reserves... come on, brain; it's just basic spacial and arcanomical mathematics. Work with me here...'

Twilight, while maintaining her current speed, dips downwards to beneath the cloud cover. Once hidden from Rainbow's sight, the princess' horn begins to glow brightly as she mentally does the 'basic' math needed to accomplish her dangerous plan.

'... Carry the two aaaannnnddddd... yup. This will work... I might accidentally impale her with my horn if I screw this up though ... h-heh, no pressure, right?'

A bead of sweat drips down Twilight's face as she aims her body towards Rainbow's path.

'Five seconds... Three... Two...'

The cone around Rainbow constricts, becoming tighter and tighter as she flies forward. Her pace slows as she pushes against the barrier, her hooves held firm and her head tilted forward. She can feel the air around her begin to break and her body begin to speed as her rainbow colors burst forth and cover the surrounding sky in a brilliant display...

BOOM

CCCCCRRRRRRAAAACCCCKKKK

... only for a more purple heavy explosion to take place at the same time, overtaking and blanketing the rainbow explosion with the image of a giant star.

For a brief moment, the sky above is graced with the appearance of both a Sonic Rainboom and a Twilight Sparkleboom.

Neither flyer were able to witness the sight though, for they had both flown too fast.

Too fast... into each other.

In a jumbled ball of limbs, feathers, and bruises, both ponies crash land on a surprisingly thick bed of clouds. They slid across the fluffy surface until their momentum is finally lost and their bodies are finally stilled. Their peace doesn't last long though as the cloud gives way and sends the ball 'O pony downwards towards another seemingly thick bed of clouds.

This one gives way too.

And so does the next.

It is not a cloud that finally breaks the two's fall, but instead the edge of a cliff. Their bodies momentarily bounce against the rocky service, pebbles getting scattered in the process. Although the landing may have been rough, the tumble is finally over. Minutes soon pass in silence as the two friends lay there, on the familiar top of a mountain, in their sudden embrace. Neither pony seems willing to separate and instead continues to hang on to one another.

Maybe it is because Rainbow desperately needs the contact in this moment.

Maybe it is because Twilight simply doesn't want for her friend to hurt anymore.

... Maybe it is actually because they both secretly love each other very much and that they know, in their hearts, that the only way to heal both their pains is with the love they hold for one another.

Or maybe...

... maybe it is simply because both ponies have been knocked the hell out thanks to the impact and are now both in a state of unconsciousness.

A state that may or may not desperately need urgent medical attention right now.

Maybe...

Maybe.

______________

"... Caramel, I honestly don't know where to even begin with you. Well... maybe I could start at the part where you're Celestia awful at farm work and winter wrap up and being loyal to your supposed friends... and life in general... but I do admire you somewhat in a 'at-least-I'm-not-this-guy' kinda way. I look at you and feel good about mahself; I feel good that I'm stronger then you and more popular with the mares without even trying. Horse hell; I'm even better with the stallions then you are, cept I'm not interested in them like you are. On that note; no, I'm not interested, Caramel. I've never been interested nor will I ever be interested. I say that not as a homophobic, pony heavens no; I say that as a freaking pony who has even the slightest hint of dignity. We all know why that one and only marefriend of yours left you and it ain't because Pinkie Pie took a day off partying. It's because of reasons that would destroy your very soul if they were to be mentioned in a public area such as this one. And another gosh darn thing-"

"BIG MAC!"

The red stallion's rant ends as his head jerks up. His eyes wander to the end of the street... where he can clearly see his sister glaring at him.

"N-nope," he whimpers. "Nope nope nope nope." He quickly turns to Caramel. "You're still my friend though. I'm a terrible pony, but I still think of you as my friend." Big Macintosh then jumps to his hooves and gallops off at full charge. "I'm sorry!"

"Get back here right now!" Applejack yells, giving chase.

"... Thank you..." whispers the crestfallen Caramel as AJ passes him by.

Applejack ignores him as she speeds up, determined to catch her mumbling brother.

"BIG-"

Big Mac knocks over an empty barrel, causing Applejack to jump over it.

"MACINTOSH-"

Big Mac jumps over a pair of passing ponies, causing Applejack to bob and weave around them under fear of hurting them in their now stupefied state.

"APPLE!!"

Big Mac tilts his head down, protecting his face as he rams through the side of somepony's home, creating an impenetrable wall of rubble that semi-succeeds in slowing Applejack down.

The mare stares at the destruction for a brief moment before lowering her own head and jumping through the window next to it.

'Look's like we're gonna need to tap Bloom's college fund after this... again,' Applejack contemplates as she continues her chase through somepony's home. Neither farmer stays inside for too long though as they both quickly cross the kitchen, the dinning room, and finally the occupied living room before lowering their heads again and exiting in a similar fashion to how they entered.

As she looks upon the destruction done to her home, Berry Punch lifts up and slowly considers the possible alcohol contents of her current drink. One normally doesn't find the stuff in sugar based fruit drinks, but a pony could never be too sure. This had happened before, after all.

Back on the crowed streets of Ponyville, Applejack momentarily loses her brother's trail but is quickly able to spot him over the much shorter pony population, due to his gigantic stature. Said stature is also proving to be a hindrance to the stallion as he slowly tries to navigate his way through the crowd. "A building is one thing, hurting a pony was another," he mumbles to himself, trying to justify not pushing ponies out of his way.

Applejack though isn't as reserved.

"Gain way, coming through! Excuse me! Pardon me! Sorry! Not so sorry. BIG MAC!"

With his sister drawing near, Big Mac shuffles awkwardly into a side ally and begins to gallop yet again.

The wall he suddenly finds in front of him though says otherwise.

"Nope nope nope nope," he rambles. "N-n-need to talk... b-b-but not w-with her... h-have to talk... h-have to escape!"

Without the momentum he previously had, the stallion can not simply bash his way through this obstacle and be on his way. No, he's going to have to rely on his old faithful standbys; the two faithful servants of any earth pony farmer.

His two hind legs; Kicks McGee the First and Ronaldo.

The stallion spins on the spot, relying on years of applebucking muscle memory to see him through as he reared back his hooves...

... and promptly fell on his flank.

At first he is surprised by the sudden fall... but as he turns his head around, and sees the lasso wrapped firmly around his back leg, Big Mac lets out a low whimper and accepts his fate.

Applejack steps forward into the alleyway, rope held tightly in her teeth. She glares down at her brother.

Big Mac's lips quiver.

"AJ... I... I-I..."

POOF

And then Big Mac exploded into a shower of confetti.

...

... Somewhat surprisingly, Applejack is just the teeniest tiniest bit confused by this turn of events.

"... Huh..."

Chapter 7

"... Well then... so mah brother exploded... don't rightfully know how I'm supposed to feel about this... I mean, Twilight exploded before... twice actually, now that I think about. Once into flames, which doesn't seem to be the case here... and the other time into ashes, but she came right back as a princess... is Mac a princess now? D-does... does that make me a princess...?" Applejack shakes her head. "I don't know what to believe in anymore..."

"Applejack!"

The emotionally confused farm pony lifts up her head from the ground and watches as two of her friends, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, file into the alleyway.

"Applejack!" repeats Fluttershy. "Thank goodness we found you!"

Applejack waves a hoof passingly.

"Oh... howdy girls..." she then waves a hoof over the spot where Big Mac once stood. "... Mah brother exploded."

Pinkie Pie slumps.

"Aw, bummer. Second time one of my cousins did that..."

Fluttershy frowns.

"Girls, he didn't explode. Discord probab-"

Applejack suddenly jumps to her hooves. "Ah hay! I forgot that Twilight told me he was in town helping her!" The earth pony stomps on ground. "Darn it all! This has Discord's name written all over it! What's he doing messing around, Fluttershy?!"

The pegasus looks away. "N-no reason."

The orange mare shakes her head and stomps for a second time. "Uh uh; no way no how, Flutters. Discord is on thin, thin ice and we both darn well know that he wouldn't be using what little power he's got left just to mess with us." The farmer looks away. "I hate him for what he did to us, yeah, and I'm still nowhere near ready to forgive him... but I was told he's been helping you girls out with the whole chaos magic hoopla going on in town right now and if he's okay in your girl's book for that then he's fine in mine..." Applejack looks hard into Fluttershy's eyes. "Regardless though, him suddenly causing trouble again in these parts doesn't add up. What happened, Fluttershy? Tell me, please."

Fluttershy begins to shrink, but a quick breath rightens herself back up again. Pinkie Pie looks back and forth between the two ponies, unsure what to be feeling right now.

"... He's upset over something Big Mac said to me, Applejack." Fluttershy admits gloomily. "I'm sorry. I was the one who told him. I-I didn't think I could hide it from him so I was just honest and, well, Discord got a bit... possessive."

There is a moment of silence.

"... Possessive?" Asks Pinkie. "What, does Discord think he owns you now?" The pink pony giggles as she wraps her friend in a hug. "Heh. Well, hate to break this to him, Fluttershy, but you're totally ours! Want us to file a cease and desist on him, filly?"

"Wait a tick," says Applejack. "Possessive, Fluttershy? He got possessive...? W-what... what in the hay did mah brother say to you?"

This time, Fluttershy does shrink into herself.

"U-um, well... h-he, um... you see..."

Applejack taps a hoof. "Clocks a' ticken, girl."

"H-he... h-h-h-he said..."

Pinkie releases her grip on the pony. "He said...?"

"... That I have a nice flank."

Another moment of silence passes.

"... Wha?"

"He said I have a large but very nice flank!" Fluttershy finally admits. "T-that's all he said! He was in a hurry and galloping towards town and I was heading back home w-when we crossed paths and I said hi to him and he said that back!" The shy pony covers her blushing face with her wings and shrinks down to the ground. "I-I flew home as fast I could after that, so very very embarrassed, a-and just had to go somewhere to organize my thoughts.

"... It was kinda nice though, I'll admit..."

"..."

"..."

"... So, yeah, ignoring that last bit," Applejack says, taking charge. "You told all of this, 'cept I'm willing to bet not that last bit, to Discord and now he's angry at my brother... what the hay are we going to do about this, girls? We can't just let him have his way with Big Mac!"

"Isn't Discord still super duper weak from losing his magic to that big old meanie a few weeks back?" asks Pinkie. "He can't do that much to him... right?"

"T-that's true," Fluttershy replies. "He hasn't been able to do the things he normally could do... he can't even teleport that far anymore!"

"Really? Whew," exhales Applejack. "Well that's a relief. If he can't go that far, then that means Big Mac must still be in town somewhere!"

"Yeah," says Pinkie. "But... where?"

___________________

Big Mac awakens groggily. His head feels like mush and his muscles are more sore then they've ever been. Running through a building will do that to a pony, true, but the red stallion is usually very resilient to such aches and pains.

Now though, he can hardly move an inch.

Well, except for his constantly flapping mouth.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Think I'm gonna hurl... nope. Still in pain though. Ow. Ow. Ow... n-need to talk to somepony. N-need. Neeeeedddd... h-help me..."

"... Big Macintosh?"

With some effort on his part, Big Mac slowly lifts himself back up onto his hooves. It is only now does he see the stars in his eyes caused by the sudden magical relocation. Blinking a few times, the stars begin to dissipate until he can fully see the pony before him.

Big Mac stares into the unicorn's blue eyes.

Rarity stares back...

... along with the rest of the patrons of the very crowded Sugarcube Corner.

A whimper escapes the stallion's lips as his ears flatten against his skull.

"N-nope..."

Chapter 8

"Now, are you absolutely sure he's this way, Pinkie?"

Pinkie jitters up and down rapidly, hammering her hooves against the hard ground as the group trots along it. She is unable to stop herself, for she is currently trapped in the machinations of a powerful spell known as a 'doozy'.

"I-I-I-I-I t-t-think soooo!" the party pony shivers, her teeth clattering against one another as she does. "Sssssuuuggggaaarrrccuuuubbbbe C-c-c-"

Fluttershy places a hoof upon her friend's back in a calming manner.

"There there," she coos. "We heard you earlier, Pinkie. Somethings happening at Sugarcube Corner. Just relax until your doozy is over."

"T-t-t-thank y-y-y-you F-f-f-flutters-s-"

Suddenly, the earth pony stops where she stands. Her shivers have all together ended, leaving her tired but no longer affected. She breathes a sigh of relief. "Phew."

Applejack raises an eyebrow.

"So... what does that mean then?"

"That the doozy is over," Pinkie replies between huffs. "We must have missed it..."

"But he might still be there."

Pinkie shakes her lowered head, not looking at her fellow earth pony.

"M-maybe? I don't know. Never had a Pinkie sense moment like that one before. It... i-it felt..."

The farmer takes a step back from the suddenly scared sounding mare.

"It felt...?" Applejack asks cautiously.

The saddened party pony lifts her head up, but refuses to meet Applejack's eyes.

"... I-It felt... dark, AJ," Pinkie reluctantly admits. "Really, really d-dark... and sad... it has to be Big Mac." In possibly the lowest, most painfully small voice Applejack had ever heard her friend use, she adds "S-something bad must have happened to him. Somepony's feelings must have been really badly h-hurt. It's the only thing I can think of..."

And that, right there, scared Applejack to her very apple core.

She knew Big Mac was hurting ponies.

She knew he was leaving mares heartbroken, politicians suicidal, and friendships tarnished, if not forever destroyed.

But this time... this time it had set off Pinkie's sense.

The pony of laughter and happiness had been blind to the happenings going on around town all day long.

Until now.

"..."

... But that doesn't matter to the farmer in this instant. In this moment in time, her friend's happiness is much more important. Applejack takes a step closer to the depressed pink pony, foreleg extended. "Oh Pinkie..."

Before she can give her a much needed hug though, Fluttershy gently flutters down to the ground and rejoins the group. This surprises both Applejack and Pinkie Pie; neither had noticed that she had left to scout ahead the very moment the doozy's effects had ended.

The pegasus folds her wings and gallops up to the two. "We need to hurry, girls," she says in a surprisingly commanding voice. "Something did happen at Sugarcube Corner. I-I only saw from the sky though... Come on!"

With an equally surprising burst of speed, Fluttershy takes to the air once more and heads towards the Cake's home. Pinkie and Applejack trade worried glances for only a second before they both gallop off after their friend.

It doesn't take long for the three of them to round the corner and behold the scene laid out before them.

Sugarcube Corner is closed; the sign plastered to the door is a clear indicator of this fact. Ponies are gathered here though; a rather large crowd of them, in fact. Many conversations can be heard from the open square, most blending into each other to form an incomprehensible mess. The chatter is loud and impossible to follow, but an overall sense of gloom and foreboding hangs heavily over the gathering.

Something has indeed happened.

"Closed?" Pinkie Pie asks over the noise. "T-that can't be right; it's not even noon yet! W-where are the little fillies and colts supposed to go to relax after school now?" she adds gloomily, eyes lowered to the ground.

"This is awful," Fluttershy comments at a volume she rarely uses. "There's so many ponies here... Whatever could have happened?"

Applejack glares ahead.

"We need to find out; we need to talk to somepony."

With a nod of their heads her two friends quickly agree. The mare then steps forward, foreleg raised, about to tap a random pony's shoulder... when Pinkie suddenly calls out "R-rarity?"

The two other ponies swirl their heads around, spotting their unicorn friend sitting on the ground just a short distance away. Her back is turned to them, her front facing towards the closed confectionery. She is still and unmoving, and ponies are making an effort to stay clear of her.

The three friends ignore this last detail as they approach their fourth.

"Rarity?" asks Fluttershy from the air, her wings beating a slow rhythm. "A-are you okay?"

There is no immediate response. Fluttershy is about to ask again, when Rarity's mouth opens slowly. She takes a deep breath.

"... I left my store to purchase a treat for Sweetie Belle today," the fashionista finally replies after a moment, though she still refused to face her friends. "She's been ever so helpful lately, you see, so I decided that I would surprise her after school today with a gift." She waves a hoof to the side, face still obscured. "I debated making something for her, like a scarf or a dress... but I decided I would appeal to her sweet tooth instead this time, to be different... I'm not very good in that department though, ha, so Sugarcube Corner was the obvious solution to my problem."

Silence.

"... And?" Applejack inquires nervously, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. 'Please don't say it. Please please please...'

"Well... then Big Macintosh appeared..."

Applejack's heart sinks.

"O-oh... a-and then, Rare?"

"..."

Rarity takes in a sharp breath of air.

"... And then, you ask...? Well..."

The unicorn finally turns around to meet her friends' eyes.

Pinkie Pie's face warps into a look of pure horror.

Fluttershy tries to hide a gasp with her hooves.

Applejack takes off her hat and hugs it close to her chest, her watery eyes now the size of saucers.

"Well," Rarity continues, her bloodied red face on full display. "Well then... 'things' happened, I'm afraid..."

The three mares are too shocked to reply.

"..." Rarity tilts her head to the side and looks at her petrified friends with a face full of just as much confusion as blood. "... Whatever is the matter, girls?"

"Y-y-y-you," Pinkie Pie sputters weakly. "Y-you've got a little something... here."

"... Pinkie Pie, you just gestured to the entirety of my face."

The party pony numbly nods her head.

"Y-yeah..."

Rarity raises an eyebrow at this, her hoof slowly rising to her face in response. She gently touches her forehead with the white appendage, unintentionally turning it a bright crimson color at its tip. Her eyes grow large as she brings the dirtied thing before her field of vision, but they just as quickly dial back into a look of calm passiveness.

"Oh... I see..." she replies in a neutral voice, staring at the blood sticking to her coat.

The three other ponies hold their breath as Rarity continues to stare. The fashionista soon notices this though and waves the hoof passingly at them in reply.

"H-heh, oh do not worry about it, ladies," she says, a weak smile now etched to her face.

"... It isn't mine."

She then, in a very ladylike fashion, vomits all over the ground and promptly passes out.

_________________

Meanwhile, atop a mountain, where a dragon once resided, two winged ponies are sitting on their rumps, licking their wounds... quite literally, in fact, in the case of the pegasus. The tip of her blue wing is firmly glued to her mouth as she tries to correct her messy plumage. While she occupies her attention with the right wing, her friend runs her horn, and its magic, over the left as soothingly as she can.

"... Anything broken?" Rainbow Dash asks, not looking up from her preening.

"No... no you appear to be just fine," Twilight replies, releasing the cyan appendage from her magical grip. "There's some bruising, but that's about it. You're flight capable."

"Awesome," the pegasus comments as she releases her other wing from her mouth and allows it to naturally fold back. "... You?"

Twilight stretches out her wings, pulls a stray feather with a burst of rough magic, and folds it back in.

"I'm about the same, though my horn feels like it's about to fall off."

"Oh... I see... that's good to hear."

"Yeah..."

"... Yeah..."

The mountaintop is silent.

"... WellthanksgottagoBYE!"

Rainbow suddenly surges forward, past the still alicorn, and prepares to take off. She stretches her wings and jumps into the air...

POP

... only to then come crashing back down right away. "W-what the...?" she asks, cranking her head backwards in an attempt to see what it is that has hampered her escape.

She stares blankly at the cause of her sudden groundbound-ness.

For those who are not in the know; one typically finds it difficult, if not impossible, to fly upon appendages made out of non-aerodynamic citrous orbs.

Oranges even more so.

Twilight blows the steam off her horn with a quick puff of air. "I warned you I would do it, Dash."

"W-well, un-do it!" the now very fruity pony demands. "This really hurts, Twi..."

"..."

The princess' eye twitches.

"... You know what hurts, Dash?" Twilight asks in a dark tone as she approaches the weather pony. "Flying on tired wings hurts, Dash. Using magic on an empty stomach hurts too."

Rainbow Dash sinks lower and lower into the ground as the alicorn bares down on her.

Twilight's voice begins to rise. "Headbutting somepony at damn near mach one hurts as well! Ha! Who knew?!"

"T-twi..."

She is ignored as Twilight continues.

"Falling on a pile of rocks from about a mile's height also really bucking hurts! Haha! Duly noted!"

It might be her eyes playing tricks on her, but Rainbow Dash swore she saw sparks flying off of Twilight's mane as her anger reached a fevered pitch. She was not able to confirm it though as the alicorn brought her face within an inch of her own, engulfing her entire vision with the sight of two bloodshot, twitchy eyes.

"But you know what really, really hurts, Rainbow?"

"W-what?"

"..."

Twilight's entire form wilts.

"... What hurts is seeing you look so hurt, yet being too tired to know what to do about it."

Taken aback by the sudden tone shift, Rainbow can only stare silently as the princess allows her wings to go slack and for her legs to finally give out. Twilight stares off into space, ignoring Rainbow as well as everything else around her.

"... It hurts," she admits. "to be this supposedly brilliant mare; to have this brain seemingly capable of solving any, if not all, problems thrown its way... yet be too fluffing tired to utilize it." Twilight looks behind her, at her saddle bags laying on the ground.

"... The cure for poison joke is in those bags," she explains. "The bags I brought with me while chasing you... the same ones that kept slowing me down during said chase... that contain the cure Big Mac needs right now... that doesn't need to be here right now, but instead with Applejack... yet I was too stupid to remember that... all I could think of was 'Friend plus Sad equals Bad'.

"Elementary math, Rainbow... that's what I've been reduced to, and I can't even do that right!" Her head now lays on the ground in a heap. "It's a miracle I didn't end up impaling you..."

Rainbow blinks.

"Wha?"

Twilight waves her off.

"N-nothing. Nothing at all."

A moment of silence passes; neither pony willing to say anything to one another.

The silence eventually gets to Rainbow Dash. As awkwardly as possible, she tries to restart the conversation she still didn't want any real part in.

"... Sooo..." she begins. "Poison joke... is that whats up with Big Mac?"

"... Eeyup," Twilight answers simply, not moving from her heap and not trusting herself enough to properly articulate the situation to Dash.

"... I-I... I thought he was a bit... 'off' today," Rainbow continues, adding an awkward laugh to the end of it.

"He made you cry," Twilight bluntly states, not even bothering to turn it into a question.

"... Yeah..." Rainbow weakly admits, the sound of it like a nail to the chalkboard that was the alicorn's heart.

Though it starts off small, a flame ignites in Twilight's being. Slowly it grants her strength, though not much more then to give her the drive to sit up again.

"Talk," she demands. "Some small corner of my sense starved mind is telling me that talking is a good thing. I'm elected to believe it."

Rainbow looks away.

"B-but I don't want to, Twi. I really don't..." A scowl appears on her face. "W-why'd you think I was flying away so fast for, huh?!" she asks frustratingly.

"Because you were being stupid," Twilight says, but then waves a hoof. "Sorry sorry; too tired to filter myself. I think I know how Big Mac feels right now... what were we saying?"

Dash's look of anger weakens for a moment as she blinks.

"... That you thought I was being stupid?"

"Oh, right. Yeah... stupid. Friends talk, Dash," she explains tiredly. "I remember that much at least."

"But I don't want to!"

"Well too fluffing bad, filly!" Twilight retaliates, her tiredness now even more prevalent. "You aren't going anywhere; not unless you'd like to blow my already fragile mind by flying on those darn things! After the things I've seen dealing with Cheerilee's now literally enchanted garden this week? I wouldn't even question it if it happened!"

"But-"

"Talk."

"But I-"

"Talk."

"I don't-"

"Talk."

"Twilight!"

"Talk."

"Stop saying that!"

"Then talk to me."

"FINE!" Rainbow screams into the air, her hooves raised and waving. "Fine... freaking fine."

Twilight sits silently as Rainbow gathers her thoughts. Her eyes dart around, trying to think of a way to avoid this... but she eventually sighs loudly and finally loosens her lips.

"... I heard what he said to Pinkie Pie..."

Rainbow expected a reaction from Twilight, but the pony remains still and unmoving, so Dash continues.

"... I was sleeping on a cloud nearby when he went off on her; telling her she was insane, warning ponies about her... it was horrible...

"When he was done and left, I was given the choice to either chase after him or to talk to Pinkie Pie. I wanted to talk to Pinkie, to see if she was okay, b-but I got so angry at Big Mac. Instead of doing the smart thing, I chased after him and stopped him right outside the park.

"I went after him the moment I landed. 'What the hay did you do that for,' is what I screamed at him. I was about to threaten him into turning around and apologizing when... w-when he started talking to me...

"... I think he was trying to explain the poison joke thing to me when he first saw me, but me talking back to him angered him so much that he started yelling back. He said... well the usual stuff about me, I guess. You know, the stuff most ponies say about me behind my back? That I'm a showoff, or that I'm a lazy loudmouth... that stuff didn't faze me. It felt bad coming from Big Mac, who I thought was my friend, but that wasn't enough to really bother me..."

Twilight roles her hoof in a circle, urging her to continue. "But...?"

Rainbow cringes, looking away.

"... B-but... then he pointed something out to me that I hadn't noticed... about the kids around town... they used to follow me everywhere, right? Hay, I even had that fan club that Scoots set up!"

"Yes I remember," Twilight replies. "It disbanded during the Mare-Do-Well incident; the first and last time I attempted to solve a friendship problem while intoxicated." The princess shakes her head. "I think the only reason the girls went along with me on that one is because they still had some lingering fears about the state of my sanity left over from the Great Smarty Pants War of two-o-eleven... but I digress."

"Y-yeah, well," Rainbow continues. "The group stopped meeting because they were all into Mare-Do-Well. After everypony admitted to it being a hoax and I apologized for the way I was acting though... why didn't that group meet up again? Scoots still loves me, no doubt, but what about everypony else?"

"I'd assume it's because your image was tarnished in their eyes, thus lowering the appeal of the group," Twilight comments, relying on cold hard logic to make up for her mental slack. "It makes sense when you think about it."

"Then what about the flag carrying tryouts?"

"... What about them?"

Rainbow huffs.

"All the fillies and colts went crazy when I flew in there, and for three straight days I received nothing but praise and admiration as I helped them all out on their routines. Twilight; the children in this town love and look up to me... but then what happened to that fan club?"

Twilight's mind draws a blank. She tries not to contemplate whether or not this is due to the answer being not that obvious or another sign of her mind not working.

"... I dunno," she replies bluntly. "Maybe Scootaloo didn't have the time to set it up again or something like that?"

Rainbow shakes her head.

"Twi, no... Scootaloo tried setting it up again, but she didn't know why ponies didn't come. I didn't know either... but Big Mac did... cause he's the reason why."

"... What?"

Rainbow lowers herself to the ground, not feeling up to standing anymore and too crestfallen to find the energy to do so.

"T-that thing he does for Pinkie?" Rainbow says. "That thing where he warns ponies about her? He... h-he used the Mare-Do-Well crud as ammo to do the same with me. Twilight, he secretly ran a smear campaign against me... a-and it worked... the children around town look up to me... but their parents tell them to stay as far away as possible..."

Twilight is too stunned to reply...

"He... he what?!"

... though not for a lack of trying.

"I... I... what?!" Twilight stomps a hoof. "That makes no sense! Why would he do something like that?!"

"H-he felt obligated, because..." Rainbow tries to answer, but the words don't come easily to her. Once they do though, they are no easier to say. "B-because while kids looking up to Pinkie Pie might end up eating one too many cupcakes or do something that annoys their parents... kids looking up to me might get themselves k... k-k-killed..."

Whatever snappy response Twilight was about to say dies on her lips as she watches her strong and brave friend lower her head to the ground and begin to shake.

"I-I-I never r-really thought about it b-but..." the mare's eyes begin to water "T-t-that's sorta how I started out, Twi; I imitated the Wonderbolts that were in service when I was a filly and got awesome b-because of that." She looks away as tears begin to fall. "B-but there's a big difference between being a pegasus filly in Cloudsdale and being a pegasus filly in P-ponyville; we're trained way, way early in flight safety. We know how to correct ourselves during spin-outs and how to tuck and roll during crashes... Scootaloo doesn't know how to do that stuff though; n-none of the kids here do!

"Y-yet they still watch me up there, doing my tricks, seeing me all 'cool' and 'awesome'... w-what the hay have I been telling them? 'Hey kids! If this doesn't crack your skull right the buck open it'll look so flipping cool!' I-is that what I've been telling them, Twi? I-if it is, then I'm a t-terrible pony..."

Rainbow Dash begins sniffing loudly, but this does not lessen the amount of tears leaving her face and splattering on the ground.

Twilight steps forward and places a foreleg around the athlete.

"Rainbow, I didn't know kids meant that much to you..."

Rainbow sniffs. "T-they didn't always, but as I keep getting closer to my dream, I'm starting to realize what kind of e-example I'm setting. I used to think being a Wonderbolt only meant flying fast, but it's also about inspiring ponies to be great themselves, r-right?"

The princess couldn't help but smile.

"That's absolutely right, Dash. You seem to understand that way better than even the Wonderbolts' current roster."

A sigh leaves Dash's lips. "Too little to late though; I've already p-poisoned all the colts and fillies in this town."

"Now that's absolute horseapples and you know it."

"But Twi-"

"What else did Big Mac say to you?"

"... What?"

"The Rainbow Dash I know is tougher to crack then this," Twilight argues. "Where's the Rainbow Dash who took completely and utterly failing a mock test before she wised up? Where's the Rainbow Dash who didn't quit the Wonderbolts until all her friends were put into serious life-threatening peril? Where's the Rainbow Dash who sold her friend into slavery for a book?"

Rainbow frowns.

"Twi, none of those sound like compliments."

"... Note to self; don't attempt enlightening speeches while being dead tired." Twilight looks Rainbow in the eyes. "Nonetheless; what else did Big Mac say to upset you? Tell me so that I can systematically point out the crap for what it is."

"Twilight..."

"Do it, Rainbow. Tell me."

"... H-he feels sorry for Scootaloo. He knows her parents aren't always around, so she's never been properly warned about me..."

"Horseapples," Twilight states. "She loves you like the sister she never had and you in turn do the same. You'd never let her get hurt because of your actions. Next."

"... He thinks my dream is 'the very definition of hypocritical'. I encourage ponies to be loyal to their friends, b-but when the day comes when I do become a Wonderbolt, I'm going to have to leave all you girls, and Ponyville, behind..."

"Horseapples the Second," Twilight says. "We would give you our blessing without a second thought, knowing full well that you will always be there for us in our darkest hours. Next."

"... I come from old money. My cloud mansion costs, like, a mill-"

Twilight slams her hoof down. "Stopping you right the buck there, Dash. Horseapples the Third; Big Mac, neigh, no-freaking-pony has the right to tell you or your family how to spend their money. Nopony. Did he try some version of the 'starving Zebras in Zebrica' line on you?"

"... He said the bits spent on my birthaversary alone could have fed Appleloosa for four winters..."

A loud groan emanates from Twilight's open mouth. She places a hoof over her face. "Celestia above... Dash, I was the one who helped you organize the finances for that thing. Do you remember what it was going to look like before Cheese Sandwich showed up?"

Rainbow pauses.

"... It was small, yet big enough for everypony to have a good time."

"Right," Twilight weakly smiles. "That's right; you wanted something that appealed to everypony in town, not just yourself, and you told me that bits weren't an issue to you. It was only because of your blessing that Cheese and Pinkie were able to expand it like they did. Expand, I might add, in a way that you had no control over.

"Yet you still paid for it all, Rainbow." Twilight adds. "It was big and expensive, yes, but you couldn't bear to reign in Pinkie's enthusiasm. She was sooo happy about that, remember? It was only because of you that she was able to express her love and happiness to the fullest in the medium she treasures so much; partying."

A hoof is firmly planted on Rainbow's slightly runny snout.

"You made that happen, Dash." Twilight goes on. "And only you could have done that; what if it were Rarity's birthaversary when Cheese Sandwich came to town? Would she be able to spend so many bits to see that the two of them were given every tool imaginable? Knowing her she would try, without a doubt, but then she'd be in debt up to her fake eyelashes for the rest of her life!

"What if it were Applejack's, or Fluttershy's, huh? Both of those girls would have had to break Pinkie's poor heart, then nopony would be happy!

"... But you paid for it all, Dash. Every last bit; whether it from whatever sort of allowance your family gives you or the ones you get for your weather duties it doesn't matter. Only somepony as loyal and caring to her friends as you could have done what you did. That's how children see you, Dash. That's how I see you; as somepony worth looking up to."

Rainbow is silent.

With a small hoof pump to herself, the sleep deprived alicorn mutters "Still got it" in a low voice then resumes watching the silent mare.

"... I still should have spent them on something more worthwhile for everypony..."

Twilight frowns.

"Sooo... from what I'm hearing here; you're disappointed in your financial decisions."

"I'm disappointed in all of my decisions, Twilight."

POP

With a burst of magic, an orange gemstone suddenly appears out of the aether. It is just as quickly thrust into Rainbow's hooves with the aid of Twilight's magic.

"Well then congratulations, Rainbow Dash," Twilight says, extinguishing her horn. "You are now the new Spike."

Rainbow is confused.

"... Wha?"

"Spike had this same exact problem at the Equestrian Games," explains the princess. "The very, same, problem... I'm going to tell you the same darn thing I told him; you keep saying you let everypony down, but I keep saying you didn't. You know who's the only pony disappointed in you is, Dash? You. And only you can make it right with you again. What would that take, Dash?"

"... I... I don't know..."

Twilight frowns once again, only to then immediately sigh. With another burst of magic, the gemstone cradled in Rainbow's forelegs disappears in a flash of purple light. A similarly colored object soon takes its place.

"Rainbow, listen." Twilight begins as she steps towards the mountain's edge. With one last burst of magic, Rainbow's orange warts disappear and her blue wings reappear. "I don't know what else I can do for you right now; my mind can't come up with a solution and I'm afraid I can't lend you an ear anymore... I need to get this cure to Big Mac as soon as possible. Every moment I linger here is another pony like you being hurt.

"But, listen," she adds, facing her friend one last time. Twilight points a hoof at the object in Rainbow's grip. "Snuggle or talk to or do whatever it is you need to do with that to start feeling like yourself again and then meet us all in town as soon as you can. I don't know what's going on now, but there's two things I will always know for sure.

"One; we'll need your help in some form or another.

"And two; you'll be there for us when we need you.

"... Goodbye, Rainbow. See you soon."

Twilight Sparkle disappears in a flash of magic...

... only to then reappear three feet directly up. She corrects herself with her wings and instead decides to fly back home. "Easier to summon than to teleport, dummy" she mutters to herself as she slowly vanishes into the distance.

The mountaintop is quiet.

In the silence, Rainbow sets the object in her arms down onto the stone's cold surface. She stares at the fluffy thing.

Scootaloo, in turn, stares back.

"..."

"..."

"... Um... aren't you supposed to be in school right now, squirt?"

Scootaloo shrugs.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"... Heh... h-heh... y-you got me there, kiddo. Heh..."

The young filly is taken aback by her idol's response. Approaching her carefully, Scootaloo places one of her much smaller hooves over Rainbow's much bigger one.

"Rainbow Dash?" the orange pegasus asks. "What's wrong?"

Rainbow looks away.

"N-nothing's wrong, Scoots. Just... j-just grown-up stuff."

Scootaloo doesn't buy it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Dash shakes her head.

"N-nah, Scoots. I... I really don't... I don't want to seem lame..."

"But, Rainbow; I've been lame before," the tiny pony is quick to point out. "And you helped me out both times it happened!"

"But-"

"Please," Scootaloo quickly adds, her purple eyes large and pleading. "C-can't I return the favor for you? Just this once?"

Rainbow Dash makes the horrible mistake of looking into Scootaloo's eyes. She quickly turns away. "B-but..."

"Please?" Scootaloo asks once more with the true feeling only a child could drum up.

"B-but... but I don't... you'll just... I-I'm..."

After a hard fought uphill battle against the forces of willpower and need, need finally comes away victorious.

"... Ah fluff it, " Rainbow curses, finally relenting under the tiny filly's not so tiny heart. "C'mere, sis."

Scootloo happily accepts the embrace.

And there was much sisterly bonding and feels to be had.

Meanwhile, in Cheerilee's classroom...

With a loud spit, the green furred substitute teacher releases her mouth's grip on the piece of chalk and allows it to drop to the blackboard's tray. The pegasus admires her mouthwork briefly before quickly moving over to the most relevant portion of the notes. She had no time to waste; Cheerilee's classroom had fallen behind in the past week due to their teacher's botany caused vacation. Though the mare was still in town, somewhere, the fact of the matter was that her students minds were anywhere but here, where it truly mattered.

"Class," the red-headed mare pipes up from the board. "Who here can present to me the answer to our current problem?"

She is met with silence.

"... Anypony? Anypony at all?" she asks over her shoulder. With a sigh she turns aroud. "For goodness sake, children! You need to pay mor-"

Words die on the pony's lips as her eyes are drawn to the center of the classroom, where everypony else's eyes are also drawn.

An empty desk lies in the middle of the once packed classroom; all that remain of its former occupant were the stray orange feather here and there and a suspiciously star-shaped scorch mark in the chair itself.

"M-m-m-misses substitute?" asks Apple Bloom, her small foreleg raised nervously. "Ah think Scootaloo exploded..."

The teacher is silent.

"... Huh... third time in my career..."

With the shake of her head, she returns to her lecture plan.

"Now, students; we can't allow Miss Loo's life choice to spontaneously combust distract us on our quest to better prepare ourselves for standardized testing! Let us resume; who here has the answer to the problem? Miss Tiara? Mister Weight? M-... Miss Belle; please refrain from crying while in my classroom."

The teacher sighs.

"Honestly now; foals these days..."

Chapter 9

Clip clop clip clop

A sound pierces the darkness of Rarity's mind.

Clip clop clip clop

It repeats and repeats and repeats, creating a rhythm that slowly becomes louder as the unicorn begins to awaken.

Clip clop clip clop

Long lashes gently flutter as the tired mare returns to the land of the living.

"Ugh..."

Clip clop clip clop

"W-where... where am I?"

Clip clop clip clop

"Rarity!" a voice suddenly calls out. With the flapping of wings, Fluttershy soon appears by Rarity's side, a drenched piece of cloth hanging off her muzzle.

Carefully, the pegasus slowly applies the cold cloth to the laying unicorn's forehead, just below the horn. "Does this help?"

Rarity groggily nods her head. Her eyes dart around the room as she tries to get her bearings. "Where am I?" she again asks. "What happened?"

Clip clop clip clop

"Y-you're in my room," Pinkie Pie explains as she enters through the door, a plate containing a single cup of tea carefully balanced on her back. "I had my key on me, and it was the closest place, s-so we took you here so you weren't all passed out-y on the ground." With practiced ease, the pink pony easily slides the plate off of her back and allows it to land on the messy nightstand next to the bed the fashionista is lying in. "Here you go, Fluttershy," she says to the pegasus. "The Cakes were all upstairs, so I was able to sneak into the kitchen without a hitch."

Fluttershy smiles as she takes the cup into her two hooves. "Thank you, Pinkie" she nods, before facing Rarity. "Here," she offers. "This will help your stomach."

Clip clop clip clop

Rarity weakly sits up and takes the cup into her own white hooves. She slowly drinks the tea; her friends watch quietly her as her condition visibly improves thanks to it. After a minute, she returns the empty cup back to Fluttershy.

"Feel any better?"

The unicorn nods her head to the normally shy pony, her somewhat messy mane bobbing as she does.

"A bit, yes. Thank you, dear. Both of you."

Her two friends smile.

Clip clop clip clop

"... But..." she continues, momentarily placing her once stained hoof to her forehead. "T-the blood..."

"Don't worry," Fluttershy instantly assures. "We cleaned it all off as thoroughly as we could."

Pinkie nods her head rapidly, some of her normal cheer returning.

"Yup yup, we sure did! All gone!"

Clip clop clip clop

"Oh thank goodness," Rarity breathes a sigh of relief. "That is one load off my mind... but now I suppose the only other manner of business left to attend to is figuring out of how my face became so unclean to begin with..."

Clip clop cl-

The clip clopping of hooves suddenly stops as Applejack quits pacing.

"Now ain't that the million bit question, sugarcube," the farmer replies in a gruff tone. Her hooves once again produce a clip and a clop as she closes the distance between the room to Rarity's bedside. "Just what in tarnation happened here?!"

Pinkie Pie shrinks backwards, away from the stressed Applejack, but Fluttershy instead steps forward.

"Applejack; there's no need to be so aggressive."

"But Shy, sh-"

"Breath in."

"But-"

"Breath out."

"..."

Applejack does what she's told.

"... Alrighty then," the farmer replies after a moment, now seemingly more in control of herself.

"... Let's try this again. Rarity?" Applejack asks, turning her head towards her bedridden friend.

She smiles widely at her.

"Did you impale my brother with your horn?"

Rarity blinks blankly.

"... What?"

Still smiling creepily, Applejack waves a hoof. "Did you or did you not brutally murder my elder kin with your unicorn birthright? It's a simple question, Rare."

"I-it is most certainly not, Applejack!" Rarity wails frantically. "W-why are you even accusing me of such a vulgar thing?!"

"Because next to Dash and I, you're the best physical fighter of our little group," Applejack answers honestly if bluntly. "You ain't got the juice to make a pony explode like Twi can, but you can sure as shoot knock their block right the buck off. So, spill it; did my brother say something that ticked you off and if so... where's his body?"

Rarity is too flabbergasted to respond.

"Applejack!"

Applejack waves off Fluttershy's comment.

"Not now, Shy. I've been waiting too darn long for Rare to wake up, and I ain't gonna to waste anymore time standing around here!"

"Applejack... look at me."

"... Now what the sam hill do you wan-"

Words, and all semblance of rational thought, evaporate as Applejack turns around and receives The Stare. Pinkie Pie moves back to Rarity's bedside as the two nervously watch the scene unfold.

"Applejack," Fluttershy repeats, using the lessons she learned during the vampire fruit bat debacle to know when to tell her friends "No... Stop.

"I know you're upset about what's happening to your brother; I know that you're increasingly becoming frustrated and stressed over not being able to help him... but we're your friends. We care too, Applejack; both for you and Big Mac... but accusing Rarity of things she has no idea about right after she's woken up isn't going to help anypony solve anything."

"B-b-but..." Applejack feebly tries to respond. "B-but she..."

"She probably doesn't even know about his condition, AJ. Pinkie Pie didn't know either."

"C-condition?" Rarity attempts to ask, fearing what the immediate response would be from either of her suddenly high-strung friends.

"He stepped in poison joke today, Rarity," answers Pinkie Pie helpfully, her ears lowered gloomily. "It made him all talkative and the bad kind of truthful."

Understanding dawns on Rarity's face.

"Oh my... I guess that would explain a few things then..."

Applejack's eyes dart from The Stare to Rarity. Unable to leave The Stare's pull completely, the farmer asks her friend with the side of her face "D-do you think you could tell us what happened here, Rare?

"... Please?" she adds in a deflated voice. "We're plum out of ideas... This 'incident' here was our best shot at figuring out where he went, but nopony else wants to talk about it..."

Rarity stares at the clearly pained Applejack for only a moment before she turns to Fluttershy and says "Darling, that's enough. You've made your point."

And thus The Stare ends. Fluttershy looks away, too ashamed to face any of her friends. Seeing this, Pinkie Pie quickly trots away from Rarity's side and instead up to the Fluttershy's. She reassures the pegasus in the calmest fashion she can think of; by rubbing her head with her own. It doesn't take long for Applejack to attempt to do the same; cautiously approaching her side and waiting for a sign that it was okay to add to the embrace. Fluttershy nods and soon the three of them are able to face Rarity together.

"Ahem," the unicorn begins be clearing her throat. "First of all, the obvious; I may have some holes in my memory, girls. After all, I hadn't realized until after the fact that I had become bloodied at some point during the ordeal... but nonetheless, I will try to tell you all that I do remember..."

____________

I was waiting in line at Sugarcube Corner around noon today, happily chatting with those in line with me, when a sudden flash of light blinded us all. It had simply come out of nowhere!

Once we were able to see again, the first thing we were easily able to spot was the inclusion of a rather large stallion in the room with us. He was lying flat on the ground in a heap, moaning loudly. As he returned to his hooves, I, along with I assume anypony else not new in town, was able to identify the stallion as none other than Big Macintosh.

... But I knew something was wrong the moment I attempted to talk to him. The poor pony was madly chattering to himself under his breath; muttering meaningless things with no rhyme or reason. Even during his time in the Pony Tones, I had never seen him do such a thing... it quite frightened me.

I was not the only pony who had noticed this odd new quirk of his; Torch Song, who I had been pleasantly talking with prior, drew Big Macintosh's attention away from mine as she made a offhoofed comment about his rambling after he had just finished with a rather long string of the word 'nope'.

Big Macintosh... then called her fat... not in those exact words, obviously, but it is what his words meant.

He instantly tried to apologize, of course; unsuccessfully muttering compliments about her singing voice and her personality... but that didn't stop Song's husband, Toe-Tapper, from asking the stallion what right he had in saying such a hurtful thing.

Big Macintosh started mentioning something about a flower, which I only now know was the dreadful poison joke, when a very stressed looking Bon Bon interrupted him by yelling something concerning her friend Lyra and the park. Carrot Top backed her up on this, adding her own two cents about his behavior and underhoofedly mentioning how it reflected poorly on the Apple Clan as a whole.

He then yelled right back at her; telling her she had no right, then mocking her own family for their lack of unity and their scattered nature... though I use the word 'mock' lightly.

One doesn't normally 'mock' a pony while crying profusely, you see.

Regardless, every single word that came out of his muzzle paralyzed me where I stood; every single line was successfully tarnishing mine, and everypony else's, mental image of the hard working stallion.

The tears and rants continued; soon the whole store was in an uproar.

While he looked distressed, obviously pained by what he was saying, Big Macintosh never seemed to be able to back down whenever confronted. He tried to make his way to the door; trying to, I now assume, leave and never come back... but more and more ponies kept rushing him, seeking answers for his behavior or attacking him outright with serpent-like tongues...

He always replied in kind.

First he insulted Miss Scratch's visiting Canterlot friend's music; calling it a poor, self-centered imitation of the classical pieces they were supposed to represent. How he knew Miss Octavia or her work is anyponies' guess.

Then he suggested terrible things about Miss Blossomforth's 'flexibility' and questioned what kind of life it was she lead. I was ever so grateful that school was still in session at the time.

Next he made Mister Biceps cry...

... Not too hard a task, I'll admit... but I shutter to bring up how Mac accomplished it this time.

It was only after making another grown stallion cry that the large farmer took one very long, tear stained look at the oblivious Miss Hooves.

... She wasn't even participating in the rant, for ponysake! She was simply sitting there, her face covered in the remnants of her meal; her lazy eye completely swirled around and unfocused, her mane sweaty and matted, a clearly undelivered letter left forgotten between her ear and her head... the poor dear had no idea what was going on around her as she simply sat back and enjoyed her, I can only assume, well earned lunch break.

At the sight of it all, Big Macintosh inhaled deeply...

... and then promptly said "Nope nope nope" in rapid succession as he started to try to push his way through the gathered crowd, towards the exit.

But more ponies blocked his way as the store devolved into pure chaos. Cloudkicker was accused as being as bad of a showoff as Rainbow Dash. Lucky Clover was called out on his self-damaging gambling habits. Pokey Pierce's business was credited as being just as harmful as it was frivolous.

...

... A-and... and then one pony, who had every right to do what she did, stepped forward and tried to stop what was going on...

... The only result was her tears spilling all over the ground.

After that... everything is foggy, I'm afraid. I don't remember if there was any actual fighting, or if he had even said anything to me...

The blood on my face though suggests that violence did occur... from whom I don't think I could discern... Everypony was told such harsh things...

... The violence very well could have been me, for all I know... The blood isn't mine... but after that last comment he had made to that poor mare...

"G-girls?"

____________

Rarity's retelling is halted by the appearance of a fifth pony in the doorway.

Mrs. Cup Cake carefully enters the room, a large tray of tea balanced on her back.

"Hello, girls," the blue earth pony greets weakly. "I thought you all could use some refreshments."

Applejack notices that Rarity has looked away.

"T-thank you ever so much," Rarity says. "But that wasn't necessary. Y-you should be lying down in bed... being comforted by your husband..."

Fluttershy and Pinkie make the connection at the same time Applejack does.

"M-misses Cake?" Pinkie Pie asks quietly. "D-did Big Mac... h-h-h..." The party pony is too hurt to finish the words.

The baker looks away though, indicating that she had heard her clear enough.

"... Yes, he did, Pinkie... he did say something that was painful to hear... A-and... well..." she looks up at Rarity. "Rarity, dear; my hubby needs to tell you something."

Clip... clop... clip... clop...

The group falls silent as the sound of slow, lopsided trotting echos throughout the room.

Mr. Carrot Cake, trotting on three hooves with foals balanced on his back, enters the pink living quarters.

His right foreleg remains still, being firmly wrapped in stained bandages.

The stallion gently sets Pound and Pumpkin next to Pinkie Pie, who numbly cradles them.

"M-miss Rarity?" Carrot Cake begins as he sits down before the bed, gripping his hat with his good leg. "I'm so very, very sorry for the mess I made after Big Mac and mine's... talk."

The four young mares are silent.

"... I-it's no problem, Mister Cake," Rarity replies in a small voice. "In a-all honesty, I don't remember it all too well. I hadn't even noticed what was on my face until my friends pointed it out to me! H-heheh..."

Carrot Cake looks away.

"I didn't realize what I had done either until after the fact. My honey bun saw your friends cleaning you though and put two and two together for me... Can you ever forgive me?"

Rarity smiles. "Well, dear; it's hard for one to maintain their anger when they can't even remember what it is they are supposed to be angry about."

"... You really don't remember?" Carrot Cake asks.

Rarity shakes her head.

"No... I remember Misses Cake's role in the awful affair, but that is the extent of it."

"Big Mac didn't mean it!"

All eyes in the room fall on Applejack as she huffs and puffs from her outburst.

"Look, Mister and Misses Cake?" the farmer rapidly explains as soon as she's able to catch her breath. "I don't know what it is that mah brother said to you but you have to understand that he can't control himself right now! He's under the effects of poison joke!" Applejack looks pleadingly at the two bakers. "Please, you can forgive him for whatever he did... can't you?"

"..."

The Cakes can't bare to look at the saddened pony. Applejack looks back and forth between the two, her face dropping with each painful turn.

"..."

"... In a way, I think I can forgive your brother, Applejack," Carrot Cake finally admits after a moment of silence. "But... that's not going to be for a very, very long time... and that's going to be the case for a lot of the ponies in this town right now."

Applejack stomps a hoof.

"Not true!" she reaffirms, trying to gather up her dwindling strength. "N-not everything he's been saying has been completely soul crushing!"

She points a hoof at Pinkie Pie

"Pinkie forgave him!"

Though her face is blank for a moment, Pinkie soon nods her head and allows a small smile to appear. Applejack points out the window.

"Those mares from the park will eventually forgive him, y-you'll see!" she goes on, though it doesn't seem even she herself fully believes in what she is saying. Regardless, Applejack then points a hoof at Fluttershy, who only looks away.

"And F-fluttershy... even Fluttershy admitted that she liked-"

Carrot Cake silences Applejack's ramblings with the gently push of his hoof against her own.

"T-that's not what I meant, Applejack," he explains, moving the farmer's hoof to the ground. "... I was talking about me forgiving other ponies."

Applejack blinks, not knowing what the baker was implying.

Hooves clip and clop against the floor as Mrs. Cup Cake steps forward.

"It... might be best if I explain."

Rarity form wilts from her seated position on the bed.

"You don't have to, dear... They can hear it from me, if you'd like."

Mrs. Cake's eyes water, but she shakes her head. Pinkie hugs the twins closer to her chest as she sees the pain in the mare's face.

"N-no... better it be from me..." she replies, her voice very weak.

She then looks at her cooing and babbling children momentarily, a small smile forming... before sighing and steeling herself.

"... Big Macintosh believes that I cheated on my husband."

Outside of her children's voices and Fluttershy's beating wings, the room is deathly silent. In the silence, Applejack's head slowly lowers to the ground, her hat sliding down over her eyes.

This successfully hides her fresh tears.

"N-no... no, Mac, no..." she whispers to herself, hoping beyond hope that this wasn't happening.

It was just too cruel to be true.

"He's not the only pony in town who thinks that," Carrot Cake interjects, taking over the explanation. "His exact words were 'I'm in the group of ponies who believe this is true'..."

"... 'It's such a darn shame too, because you're always so nice to everypony'," Cup Cake finishes hollowly.

"C-carrot Cake... C-cup Cake... I'm... I-I'm..."

The two bakers shake their heads at Applejack.

"This isn't something you can apologize for, Applejack," Carrot explains neutrally. "And your brother already tried to do that anyways... behind his broken nose, after I rammed my hoof into it and accidentally splattered Miss Rarity with the blood." He looks at his broken hoof passively. "I think that was more then enough of an 'apology' for now... at least to me."

"S-still," the apple pony mumbles, her throat feeling dry. "I-it still ain't f-fair..."

Despite the circumstances, Carrot Cake smiles.

"No... it really isn't... but some good did come out of this."

"W-what's that?" Fluttershy asks, finally regaining her earlier strength so she could talk in the now heavy atmosphere.

"Well... thanks to what I said after I 'punched his clock', but sadly not before he disappeared in another flash of light, those rumors are going to have a hard time sticking.

"Girls... I told everypony in that room... how I'm sterile."

Silence fills the bedroom.

Cup Cake picks up the slack. "My hubby can't have foals, so we used a donor. W-we never told anypony because, well..."

"Because we didn't think it needed to be said," Carrot Cake continues. "Well... I didn't think it needed to be said... and in truth I was afraid of telling ponies about it, so I kept quiet...

"... I was scared, girls; scared of what ponies would say...

"I now know that this was a terrible and selfish mistake," he goes on, getting chocked up."B-because I was too much of a coward to admit to it, those rumors were allowed to circulate for far longer then they should have..."

The stallion makes his way over to Pinkie Pie, then lowers his head towards the foals. He gently nuzzles the laughing twins.

"I never wanted to hurt my family," Carrot explains, his voice gaining strength. "S-so, in a way, it was a good thing that I was finally confronted over it... It would have been h-horrible if those kind of rumors were still being secretly spread around years from now, when Pound and Pumpkin are old enough to be affected by them...

"I could never have done that to them," the yellow stallion states confidently, his whole heart thrown into his words. "B-because, while they aren't 'mine'... I will always love them all the same, no matter what anypony else ever thinks or says."

The tired stallion, using the one good foreleg he has left, scoops up the two foals and brings them close to his chest.

"No matter what happens..." Mr. Cake says, his whole body shaking as he cradles his children. "... these two will always be my little ponies to me. A-always..."

"D... d..."

The room is quiet as an unfamiliar voice tries to speak up.

An unfamiliar pair of them, to be precise.

"D...d...d-daa!" Pound Cake squeals.

"D-d... d-dy!" Pumpkin Cake finishes with a giggle.

"..."

An emotionally drained Applejack silently slips away from the group as the room she found herself in slowly breaks down into an unintelligent, but happy, mess thanks the foal's heartwarming display of family bonds and pure love...

... the very two things that have been hanging over the farmer's mind like an terrible rain cloud all day long.

'... I love them all except for...'

From Pinkie's balcony, the farmer sighs loudly as she stares out over Ponyville, wondering if her wayward brother was even still in its borders...

... And then, for only a moment, her eyes wander downwards towards her hooves.

'... all except for...'

For the first time in a long time, Applejack considers her colors...

'except for...'

Her orange, non-apple related, colors.

'for...'

Again Applejack sighs.

Her thoughts are filled with questions and worries.

... Her heart is heavy with confusion and doubts.

____________

In the middle of the Everfree Forest, an injured stallion finds himself alone amongst the foliage.

Alone...

POP

... except for the draconequus that now stands looming over him, grin plastered to his face

Chapter 11

"Er... no," Spike states flatly after taking a much needed moment to allow his brain to catch up. "Twilight taught me to never talk to strangers, and I don't think they get much stranger then you, Discord."

Discord's face droops, his fake wings and horn falling off and his real ones reappearing as he does. His depressed moment doesn't last long though as he soon bounces back to his peppy self.

"Come on, Spikey!" he says in his normal sonding voice. "My main drake! Help a fellow dragon out here, would ya?"

Spike crosses his arms and looks up at the chaotic spirit.

"I'm not the biggest fan of dragons, Discord," he explains with a passive shrug. "Even if you were one instead of... what, one fifth of one?"

"One fourth, including private body parts and organs."

The dragon waves a claw. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Even if you were one, I wouldn't help you for all the gems in Canterlot. I don't know what kind of scheme you're cooking up this time, buddy, but if you think I'm just going to stand by and let you mess with ponies again..."

Discord quickly waves his paw and claws around.

"No scheme, I assure you!" he's quick to reply. "I'm just here trying to help apple pony's apple brother with his non-apple related trouble! Honest!"

Raising an eyebrow, Spike tilts his head and looks over at the other sudden addition to the room.

Big Mac is still sitting down motionlessly in front of the enchanted mirror, watching the equally still picture of his cousin Braeburn in a very calm manner.

Though he is still and unmoving, he is anything but quiet.

"Braeburn..." the large stallion begins. "I... I know you're a hard working stallion, a proud apple pony, and you've always been such a great friend and cousin of mine...

"... but I honestly don't think I could ever properly articulate my hatred for you in mere words alone. I would need to dip into the realm of interpretive dance in order to get even a fraction of the point across to you..."

Spike watches this exchange for a moment longer, up to at least a rant concerning sports teams, before he spins around on the spot and points an accusing finger at the draconequus before him.

"What did you do to him, Discord?!"

Raising his appendages in a show of surrender, Discord responds to the tiny dragon "N-nothing! Nothing at all! It's all the Poison Joke's fault!

"... Which, okay, I did create centuries ago while drunk... but it wasn't my doing that got him affected!"

Spike blinks. "... Poison Joke?"

Discord nods his head. "Yup yup. This death castle," he explains, raising his arms in the air and pointing at, well, everything. "is helping the Everfree to expand into Ponyville! Big Macintosh is probably the first in what might become a laundry list of other afflicted ponies!"

"... So, what then?" Spike asks as he approaches Big Mac's side. "Can he only tell the truth or something?"

"Spike, wait!" Discord quickly warns, slithering through the air towards the pair in a desperate attempt to halt what is to come. "Don't...!"

But he is too late.

Big Mac turns his head to meet Spike's gaze.

"..."

"..."

Big Mac gently pats Spike on the head.

"You're a good kid," he says, equally as gently. "You need to grow a spine, and not let ponies walk all over you like how they used to walk over Fluttershy, but I can tell that you're slowly getting there. Keep up the good work; I'm always rootin' for ya."

Big Mac then returns his attention to the mirror.

"..."

A smiling Spike turns to the staring Discord. "I fail to see the problem here."

Discord is one of the few gifted individuals in Equestria who is capable of performing a true facepalm.

Thus, using his awesome power, Discord goes one step beyond by performing a double version of the legendary technique.

"Spike," Discord explains around his claw and paw mask of shame. "He can't stop talking and he can't stop telling ponies what he really thinks of them..."

Spike nods his spiky head happily.

"Yeah? That's great! He can tell ponies all the stuff he's usually too shy to say!"

"Spike, no," Discord rebuts, sliding his digits across his face. "That's not great. Not great at all! What if you couldn't stop telling Rarity what you really felt about her?"

"It would make my life a heck of a lot easier," the dragon replies solemnly.

Discord facepalms yet again.

"Okay..." the dazed mixed matched creature says after a moment. "... what if you couldn't stop telling Twilight what you really thought about her, hmm? How about her of all ponies?"

"..."

Spike's face quickly pales to a ghostly white.

"O-oh..."

A smile finally returns to Discord's lips.

"Now you're getting it, kiddo."

"Y-yeah... but..."

"... But?" Discord questions confusedly.

"But... maybe that's still a good thing?" Spike answers slash asks shyly. He rubs a claw behind his head. "I mean, yeah there's some mean things I would probably say to her, for sure. I'll admit to that... but, maybe she needs to hear some of it. It would hurt for her to hear, yeah... but then she would return the favor and tell me things I don't want to hear either; stuff she's usually too afraid to say to me, thinking that it'll hurt my feelings. That way, once it's out of the way, we can both grow past our differences and become better people because of the experience..."

"..."

"..."

"... Now that's just silly," Discord replies bluntly.

Spike shrugs once more.

"Well... yeah, maybe... but it's my opinion and I'm gonna stick to it."

Discord shrugs back.

"Eh, suit yourself. But, anyways... I need your help, Spike."

"Oh... right," Spike replies. "You said something about needing a letter?"

"That's correct," Discord answers as he begins to pace back and forth. "We need to send a letter to Celestia right away. We need her to send us the Poison Joke antidote through you, so we can save Big Macintosh from himself as quickly as possible!"

"Whoa, Princess Celestia has the cure for Poison Joke?" Spike asks.

"Indeed," Discord nods his head. "She secretly keeps it quite close to her person wherever she goes, in case of Poison Joke emergencies. That is a fact I personally know is true."

Spike raises an eyebrow.

"That... sounds strangely familiar for some reason... Why does she keep it on her person though?"

Discord grins widely.

"Who do you think was the first Poison Joke victim, Spiky Boy?"

"..."

The dragon opens his mouth to ask a question.

"Pink fur and an unusual appetite," the spirit quickly answers, not waiting for the question.

Spike closes his mouth into an "oh" shape.

"Er... how do I work this thing?"

Having been interrupted from their conversation, Discord and Spike both turn towards the still very talkative Big Mac. "I've said what I wanted to say about my favorite, no good, caffeine pill addicted, left wing crazy, cousin..."

"Oh!" Discord smiles happily as he turns back to Spike. "One second."

Slithering through the air on this mismatched wings, the spirit of chaos lands next to the farmer and the mirror and places his claw upon the latter.

"Here's how this works, Mac; just think of a pony in your mind, anypony at all, and once you're done think the words 'next' and this baby will show you anyone in Equestria! See?"

With a bang of his paw, the enchanted reflection in the mirror swirls around and morphs into the image of a large pink stallion, then a small blue pegasus, and then an aging mule.

"You can use this to see, and then talk about, anypony or creature you could ever want to talk to! Is there an aunt you don't like? Just imagine her and she will appear! Don't like a Wonderbolt? Bring em on down and give him or her the one-side-iest argument ever! Heck, talk to those sneaky Flim Flam brothers why don't ya!" Discord then shivers. "They give even someone like me the creeps. They seem like the kind of fellows who would steal a dragon's egg just so they can use the poor thing like some kind of cog in one of their machines!

"Heck... again," Discord adds, striking the mirror one last time. "You can even rant about Celestia herself with this thing!"

The image in the mirror shifts and changes one more time into the very image of the Princess of the Sun. Big Macintosh begins to sweat profusely.

"Nope nope nope nope. Change it change it change it!"

Spike and Discord blink at this odd display.

Discord, with eyebrow raised, simply says "Do it yourself. I showed you how."

"Does it look like I can do that right now, ya damn chimera!" Big Mac snaps right back at him. "Does it look like I've been using mah head at all today?!"

"..."

A look of understanding dawns on Discord's face.

"Ooooohhhh... I suppose talking all the time would make it hard for a pony to think properly, wouldn't it?"

"You don't need to look much farther then a politician to know that that's true, buddy," states Big Mac flatly.

Spike snorts as Discord pulls out a drum set out of the aether and performs a perfect roll off of it.

Discord snorts as well once the drum set has disappeared. "J-joking aside..."

"I was being serious."

"How about I set this thing to 'shuffle' for you?" Discord finishes with a smile. The chaotic sprit snaps his fingers, causing a few stray sparks of magic to leak out onto the scroll covered floor. "There!" he chirps happily. "Now it'll just go to a random pony every few minutes, or you can skip a pony entirely by stomping your hoof."

Big Mac mumbles something unintelligent to himself as he stomps his hoof against the ground.

The noise echoes in to the room

The image of Celestia remains.

Blinking blankly, Discord snaps again. Big Mac stomps again.

The image of Celestia remains.

"Er..." Discord says to himself as he looks down at his claw. "Drat... it's on the fritz again... Think you can hold off on talking for a few minutes, my good stallion?"

"N-no..." Mac whimpers.

"Then Spike and I will leave the room. How about that?"

The red earth pony looks up at Discord for a moment before returning his attention to the mirror. "Y-yes... I'd like that... Thank you for your help."

Discord smiles.

"All in a day's work. Alrighty then," he starts proudly, snapping his sparking fingers at the companion behind him. "Come along, Spike! We've got a letter to write."

"Write... letter..."

With eyes closed, Discord nods his head at the tiny drake. "Yes yes, a letter must be written right away, my good boy!"

"Write... letter... now..."

"..."

Discord opens his eyes as he looks down at the suddenly very submissive dragon.

"... Were you always grey?"

"Write... letter..." mumbles a now very unfocused, grey scaled Spike. A quill and scroll are now standing by in his two outstretched claws as he awaits further instructions.

The spirit of chaos cringes at the sight of this as he looks down at his still sparking fingertips. "O-oopsie, didn't mean to do that at all..." Discord then slaps his claw across the back with his paw, shouting "No! No! That's a bad claw! Bad! We don't break people anymore! BAD!"

The claw lets out a low whimper, not unlike a scolded puppy dog, before it stops sparking all together and remains still. Discord sighs once it does, stretching the awol digits out passively.

"Stupid failing magic... I like chaos but only when it's my chaos..." He looks down at Spike yet again, lowering himself to his level. "Heeeeyyyy, sorry about this, buddy. I'll get you sorted out here in a jiffy... That's what a friend would do, right? Not take advantage of you when you would totally be up for doing the thing I want you to do without question or consent? Right? Right. Go me."

Discord places his claw on Spike's head.

Nothing happens.

"Write... letter..."

"..."

Discord taps his head again.

Still nothing.

"Write..."

"... Errr!"

Discord taps Spike again and again and again in rapid succession, getting quite frustrated.

"Write..."

"Urgh!" Discord screams out loud, somehow not distracting Big Macintosh from his current 'conversation' "Fine! Freaking fine!"

Lifting up a scruff of the fur on his arm, the spirit digs his paw inside of himself; reminiscent of a man searching inside of his shirt sleeve for something of value.

"I'll use the stupid manual for once! Sheesh! Happy?!"

Grumbling angrily to himself, Discord finally manages to yank out a very small tome from his 'sleeve', aptly titled "Phenomenal Cosmic Powers; Itty Bitty User Manual", and cracks it open.

"Let's see," Discord talks to himself, himself listening very intently. "Making an entrance... Hammerspace and you... Time Travel and how not to become your own grandfather again... Aha! Discording for fun and profit question mark question mark question mark!"

"... Dear... Princess Celestia..."

The sound of scribbling causes Discord's ears to swirl around on the spot, bringing his head back towards Spike's direction.

The drake is standing behind the unaware Big Mac...

... writing everything down.

Discord's eyes widen.

"Nope!" he screams. "Nope nope nope! Danger danger, Will Rob-, I mean Big Mac! Stop talking! Sto-"

Shhhhhhhhh...

Words die on Discord's lips as a noise distracts him. Lifting up his arm, the draconequus watches quietly as his outstretched claw slowly begins to fade away under a mysterious magenta light.

He brings his paw up, watching the process repeat here as well. His book slides out of his now non-existent grip and lands on the floor as he continues to fade away.

"U-uh oh," the spirit whimpers lowly. "B-but... b-b-but I don't want to go!"

In an explosion of light, Discord soon disappears completely from the face of the Friendship Death Castle...

_________

... only to then reappears in town square, landing unceremoniously on the dirty ground outside of a closed Sugarcube Corner.

An angry purple alicorn is glaring down at him with murderous intent clear in her twitching eyes.

"Discord..." Twilight 'greets' her friend in a voice more at home coming out of a demon's mouth then a pretty pony princess'.

"H-hello... friend?"

Twilight continues to glare.

Discord gulps.

".... Mommy..."

Chapter 12

"Discord..."

"N-now, Princess Twilight, let's not be hasty here."

"Dis... cord..."

"Sure I may have teleported Big Mac away somewhere, b-but..."

"Discord..."

"I-It's not what it looks like! I swear!"

"Like hay it's not what it looks like!"

Discord's vision is soon filled with orange as Applejack jams her head into the spirit's face, cutting him off from the mentally breaking down alicorn. This was somewhat of a relief, but an angered earth pony wasn't much better.

"You damn snake!" Applejack starts. "What gave you the right to hurt mah brother like that?! Teleportin' him into Sugarcube corner, feedin' him to the darn wolves?!"

Sliding backwards across the ground, trying to get away from the enraged mare, Discord sputters, "I-I-I didn't mean to, Applejack! Honest! My magic is on the fritz! I was just trying to set him aside and talk to him privately about what he said to Fluttersh-"

"Fluttershy liked his comment, ya varmint!"

Discord blinks. "... Wha?"

Fluttershy, standing next to a quiet Pinkie Pie and an aghast Rarity, blushes deeply as she flutters over to the draconquus' side.

"Discor-"

"Discord..."

The group looks over at the still clearly malfunctioning and unhinged Twilight Sparkle's interruption before returning their attention to Fluttershy.

"... Discord," she resumes. "I told you how friends don't always get confrontational about things that happen to their friends... but you didn't listen, so now we're upset. Do you understand what you did wrong here?"

Discord face droops.

"Y-yes, Fluttershy. I do... I just thought that having your flank being glorified like it was would be something you'd be upset about, s-so I wanted to fix the problem.

"I didn't know that Big Macintosh stepped in Poison Joke today though... I didn't know at all... I'm sorry, Applejack."

Applejack's angered face lightens a bit at Discord's display of apparent honesty.

"... Well," the farmer begins. "I'm still mad at you like you wouldn't believe... but I think I can let this slide, dependin' on what you did to mah brother."

Discord cringes.

"W-well... I set him up with a magic mirror that let's him rant at ponies without hurting them..."

The orange earth pony's face brightens considerably at this news.

"R-really?" Applejack asks excitedly, a smile slowly forming on her lips. "Without hurtin' them? Y-you really did that for him?"

Again Discord cringes. He looks away.

"E-eh, yes... that was the plan. I-I hit a bit of a snag though, h-heh. Y-y-you see... funny story..."

"DISCORD Q. DRACONQUUES!!"

All eyes fall on Princess Twilight, whose mind has apparently finally left the angered daze it was in thanks to the rather advance summoning spell (and the rather advance onset of an aneurysm), and has decided to take over the reins of the conversation. With a flare of magic, Discord is lifted into the air and brought before the alicorn.

"This... this..." she begins to fume, steam actually leaving her snout as she does. "This has all been your fault, hasn't it?!"

"W-wha?"

"I told her about the seeds," Fluttershy explains loudly, so Discord could hear. She then approaches Twilight's side. "I also told her how it wasn't your fault! Not at all! Twilight," the flying pegasus says to her friend. "You need to calm-"

A burst of magic sends a gale of wind in Fluttershy's direction, gently pushing her off her flight path.

"Oh no, Fluttershy," Twilight explains in a half laugh half growl. "No no no no no... Maybe he wasn't the reason behind the seeds being gone. Maybe he wasn't the reason behind my Death Castle being what it is... but I know that he's the reason behind the Poison Joke! He created the stupid thing! Celestia taught me that herself last time I saw her!"

All eyes are now on Discord again.

He looks away. "Well, y-yeah, but that's just left over chaos magic from a thousand years ago! Not my current doing."

"Like the Plunderseeds?!"

"... Y-yes... like the Plunderseeds..."

Twilight twitches.

"Oooohhhh, well... erase the damn demon bane from existence then and we'll be A-okay! Heheheh now!" Twilight stomps her hooves twice against the ground, adding "Chop chop!"

"C-can't..."

Purple plumage scatters everywhere as the alicorn's wings hold themselves tall and firm above the cowering spirit of chaos.

"Oh of coooourse you can't. Of course! Why not?!"

"T-they're a natural part of the world now. I can't just make air disappear, after all... just some of it..."

"... Hehehehehe..."

Everypony takes a step back from the suddenly giggling unstable princess.

"Heheheheh fine!" Everypony jumps at the outburst, even Discord. "Well then... if you can't do that then at least tell us that Big Mac is safe. Maybe, just flipping maybe if he's okay then I'll be lenient on you."

Discord, now to his feet, takes a step back from the much smaller, but nonetheless intimidating magical creature.

"L-lenient?"

Twilight smiles brightly, her eyes closed in an effort to project a false image of serene peace.

"Yes... lenient... I have other ways of stoning you after all, Discord."

And thus did Discord's fear grew three sizes that day.

"I-I-I-I-I-I..."

Flapflap

A soft yellow hoof touches the spirit's mismatched shoulder. Fluttershy glares at Twilight from Discord's side.

"Twilight, you're getting too emotional again."

Twilight again twitches.

"Can you fluffing blame me for being upset, Fluttershy?!" she argues. "I come back to town after chasing a crying Rainbow Dash, only to then find you girls here talking about how Big Mac just committed social suicide while I was gone! Besides that, after all you've seen happening around town this week due to my Celestia forsaken new home... can you fluffing blame me?!"

"That doesn't give you the right to push the blame entirely on Discord for his mistakes though!"

"I'm a bucking princess, Fluttershy! Assigning blame is one of my core legal rights now!"

"Twilight!"

"..."

"... Twilight..." Fluttershy repeats gloomily. She waves a hoof towards their gathered group of friends and explains how "All this yelling isn't getting Applejack any closer to seeing her brother again..."

"You're hurting your friends, Twilight," surprisingly speaks up Pinkie Pie, of all the saddened ponies. "... You're hurting us..."

"..."

Twilight shakily raises a hoof to her chest, takes a deep breath of air, then exhales equally as deeply while her hoof slowly extends outwards. She repeats her foalsitter's breathing technique three more times in silence before letting out one last long puff of air. She lands gently on the ground, takes a few more breaths for good measure, then folds her wings and looks over her friends.

"... I'm sorry," she says to the best of her frazzled nerves' ability. "I'm sorry everypony. I'm sorry... Discord... That wasn't very mature of me to do..."

"Darling... it's okay," Rarity replies for the group. "I think I can relate to the stress you must be feeling, just a little bit. I think we all can, in one form or another."

"I-I-I can too, princess."

All eyes return to Discord.

"T-that sickly feeling in your gut when everything goes to Tartarus?" the chaotic spirit asks. "The one you feel when you absolutely know that excrement has hit the fan?" Discord gulps. "W-well, I'm feeling that right now... thinking about how fast these good vibes are about to disappear on us once I tell you how colossal of a mess I've unintentionally made for everypony..."

Silence befalls the group.

Twilight's eye twitches again.

With no one watching her, Fluttershy silently facehooves to herself.

"Darn it all, Discord. We had a good thing going here..."

"... Go on..." Twilight says flatly, no hint of emotion.

Discord gulps. "W-well, you sort of summoned me at a bad time. Like I-I said, I set him up with a magic mirror, so he wouldn't hurt anypony... but my magic has been all faulty lately, right? S-so, one thing led to another and... well... Spike, he..."

Twilight's eyes widen. Her horn begins to glow a pure white as flames lick her coat.

"What about Spike?" she asks hauntingly. "If you left him alone with Mac..."

"I-I-I did... but he's fine! Perfectly fine! Big Mac can't hurt him!"

The magic cuts off and the flames die along Twilight's form.

Discord shrinks down towards the ground.

"... Because I may have sorta kinda accidentally... Discorded him..."

The magic fire returns to Twilight's being.

"What?" she screams, the word 'enraged' too mild to properly describe the event.

"I-it was an accident!" Discord cowers. "I swear it by all that is unholy it was an accident!"

"What did you do to him?!" Twilight demanded.

"U-um... Unintentionally t-turned him into Mac's ghost writer?"

Twilight fumes quietly, her anger simply coasting in a straight line at this point, boiling under the surface.

"... So, Big Mac is somewhere in town right now, talking to a magic mirror..."

"U-unknowingly writing Princess Celestia a very interesting friendship report, f-from the Friendship Death Castle," Discord weakly confirms, nodding his head.

"..."

"..."

"... Discord..."

Poof

With a burst of purple magic a bucket and broom appear before the spirit of chaos. He numbly grabs them without thinking about it.

"Clean up town," The Princess of Friendship decreed. "All of it. Every, single, square, inch. Get rid off all the dust, get rid of all the mud, get rid of all the stray outside magic..."

Poof

Another flare a magic brings up a small mountain of packet seeds.

"Put the magic in these. Create new Plunderseeds. Return each and every seed to me. Don't try to hide any; I've counted how many there are here."

Twilight then points a hoof behind herself.

"Go. Now. Make yourself useful."

Discord looks over his tools and at the pile of seeds.

"But..."

"Go."

"But I want to hel-"

"Go."

"Please list-"

"Go."

"You're not bein-"

Poof

With a third and final effort of magic, Twilight summons a blindfolded creature of nightmare out of thin air.

"KKKKRRRRREEEE!!!" Wails the small monster.

Discord stumbles backwards.

"GOOD CHOATIC GOAT LORD ABOVE!! W-WHAT IN THE WORLD?!"

Her friends back away as well as Twilight passively trots over to her new 'pet's' side.

"Discord, meet Owilicious The Second."

The cockatrice lets out another shrill cry.

"... Owilicious The Second isn't as cuddly as Owilicious The First."

Poof

A purple light envelops the half chicken, half snake creature before it disappears.

"Go," commands Twilight one last time blankly, though her voice held some measure of her earlier anger.

Discord lifts himself to his feet, frightfully looks the princess in the eyes, sweeps his gaze over the rest of the gathered ponies, then reluctantly lowers his head in defeat. He grabs his 'gifted' tools, conjures a large sack to carry the flower packets, then gloomily heads further into town.

The girls are silent as they watch the draconquus leave.

As soon as he's out of sight, a heated round of questioning begins.

"Sug! What they hay was that all about?!"

"Why were you such a meanie pants to him?!"

"Dear, what you did was uncalled for! How could you?!"

"What are you doing blindfolding that poor creature?!"

Twilight lowers her own head, grumpily trotting off in the other direction towards her home. She doesn't ignore her friends though.

"Because he did more harm then good for Big Mac, Applejack. Because it's dangerous to let him have a big head, Pinkie Pie. I did what I had to, Rarity. There's no such thing as Owilicious The Second, Fluttershy. It was just an illusion I made awhile ago in the case something like this ever happened, in order to keep him inline."

The four other ponies look at each other, equally satisfied and unsatisfied by their answers at the same time. Their friend was clearly reaching the tipping point between being a stable pony and becoming something akin to nightmare incarnate.

"... Discord planned this, girls," Twilight speaks over her shoulder to her trotting friends. "I know he did... I don't care what he says or what you think... He planned this..."

The girls are silent, but Applejack eventually speaks up.

"I... I don't know about that, Twi..."

"You were the one most angry at him, AJ," the princess is quick to point out.

Applejack looks away. "Well, y-yeah... but that was before I saw him cowering before you not two minutes ago!"

Twilight stops. Her friends watch as she performs her breathing exercise one more time before turning around to face them.

"... Do you know how I know he planned this, girls?"

The girls are again silent.

Twilight smiles weakly.

"I know, because out of anywhere, anywhere at all that he could have taken Big Mac, he choose to take him to the worst place in Ponyville for him to be right now. The, absolute, worst."

"... The Friendship castle?" Asks Rarity, remembering Discord's final words to them.

With a weak nod of her head, Twilight confirms that this is true.

"W-what's wrong with your place, Twi?" Asks Applejack. "I mean, besides it being a Death fortress and whatnot."

"Oh Applejack," Twilight coos softly. "Think back to this morning. Aaallllll the way back then. Do you remember what I told you?" the alicorn asks before looking over all of her friends. "Do any of you remember why it is that I'm so stressed out?

"It's because I have not had a single ounce of sleep this past week. None at all. That's because I've been doing nothing, nothing at all but solve every earth pony's problem."

"... Y-yeah... so?" cautiously asks Applejack.

Twilight keeps on smiling.

"... Guess who I've seen the most this week, Applejack," Twilight says, sounding almost playfull. "Just guess. Out of all the farmers and planters and hobbyists in this town, guess whose had the most troubles this week. Guess who I've seen every, single, day, and who I'm probably going to receive a visit from right now.

"Go on... freaking guess."

___________

"Hello? Princess Twilight? It's me again. S-sorry to bother you for the fifth time this week, but my garden is talking to me again. The trees have stopped glowing though... but I think the sunflowers are speaking in Neighponese...Are you here?"

The earth pony places a hoof upon the castle's doors, causing them to gently open of their own whim. They were still busted from Discord's earlier entrance, but the mare doesn't know this.

"... Hello?" The pony calls out again. "Twilight? Are you in here?"

She receives no response.

"..."

With a clip and a clop, her mind having been made up, Miss Cheerilee foolishly enters the Friendship Death Castle.

Chapter 13

"H-hello? Is anypony home?"

Cheerilee's hooves clip and clop loudly against the castle's crystal flooring as she moves further and further into the palace. A long hallway greets her as she passes by the broken main doors. Strange looking wagon wheel marks, recently embedded into the floor itself thanks to a certain trickster's actions, lead the school teacher closer to a faint noise. Muffled by another broken into doors, the earth pony can only swivel around and strain her ears as she attempts to make out what is being said and, more importantly, who is saying it.

'The voice is deep,' she ponders to herself. 'Deeper than Spike's, at least... Am I about to trot into the middle of something important? Maybe I should come back later...

'... But my garden is getting to the point of becoming a health hazard... I-I guess I don't really have a choice. I hope she can forgive me for this...'

Eventually, the purple pony manages to reach the high and imposing doors that lead to the castle's inner sanctum. With a nervous gulp, Cheerilee gently pushes the busted doors inwards with the light tap of a single hoof.

Said hoof remains frozen in the air as Cheerilee's eyes behold the scene laid out before them.

Spike, his scales grey and his eyes unfocused, is standing stock still as his claw moves at a blinding speed across a piece of parchment. The young dragon is up to his chest in a pile of wrapped and ready to send scrolls, seemingly uncaring to the mess he is making. With wondering eyes does Cheerilee gaze upon the small 'puddle' of similar scrolls scattered around the room, leading her towards said room's center...

... where Big Macintosh, of all ponies, stands. A mirror is before him, displaying the image of a pony that was quite obviously not him. The mare couldn't make out who the pony was though from where she stood; only the fact that her colors were darker than the farmer's own was readily apparent.

The only other thing readily apparent to Cheerilee in this moment was the fact that Big Mac was talking.

Boy was he talking.

Not since they had first truly met over a glass of love poison had the stallion talked so much. It was shocking, it was surprising; it left the mare equal parts flabbergasted, dazed, and oh so confused.

Thus, in what seemed like the most logical thing to do, Miss Cheerilee nervously took a step forward and asked "B-big... Macintosh?"

This was a mistake on Cheerilee's part.

A horrible mistake.

For the first time since Mac's arrival with Discord, the Friendship Death Castle falls silent. Slowly, his entire body shaking heavily, Big Macintosh turns himself around.

Cheerilee stares at him curiously.

Big Mac stares right back at her, a look of pure horror etched to his face.

"E-eeyup," the farmer mutters weakly to himself. "If I wasn't sure before, I-I sure as shoot know now... There really is no Pony God..."

___________

"Ladies... I'm afraid to inform you that we may now be facing a code 'Fashion Week' scenario here."

Pinkie and Fluttershy, momentarily distracted from their galloping, turn to look at one another before looking over to Rarity.

"Code 'Fashion Week'?" asks Pinkie Pie, never slowing her pace. "W-which one is that, Rarity? Is that the code where nopony is wearing pants? Or the code where everypony is wearing last week's fashion?"

Rarity shakes her head, her mane flowing in the wind as she gallops down the Ponyville road.

"It is neither of those things, Pinkie," the fashion pony explains with a huff. "Nor does it involve actual fashion. Code 'Fashion Week' refers to my... behavior during our trip to Manehatten earlier in the year... You do remember how dreadful of a turn that trip took for everypony towards the middle of it, do you not?"

"... I remember," mumbles Fluttershy, her unused wings twitching in response to her embarrassment. "Why are you bringing it up now, Rarity?"

Rarity smiles weakly.

"... One of our friends is becoming an unreasonable mess due to circumstances out of her control, so she is lashing out at those close to her... It's almost a one to one comparison to how I acted, isn't it?"

Fluttershy and Pinkie again look at each other before looking forward, past the distant Applejack, and directly at the gliding Twilight Sparkle. Feathers are rapidly falling out of her mistreated wings, and her mane is nothing more than loose hairs and split ends at this point. If one looked closely enough, they could easily also spot the slight trail of black smoke leaving the tip of the princess' already darkened horn.

"It's not just her either," Rarity continues, making a show of nodding her head towards the franticly galloping and equally unaware Applejack. "A certain little sister we know is also getting quite bent out of shape over all this drama involving her big brother."

"C-can we really blame her though?" Pinkie Pie asks suddenly, drawing the unicorn's and pegasus' attention. "I mean, it's her family, guys. You both know how much that silly apple brain of hers likes to stop working when something involves her family..."

Though she blinks at first, her face remaining neutral, Rarity eventually relaxes and again smiles weekly.

"... 'Can you really fluffing blame me?'" the unicorn suddenly paraphrases and swears, surprising her two friends greatly. "That is what Twilight said earlier to dear Fluttershy, is it not? When she was trying to explain away her very emotional actions towards Discord? We felt sympathetic to her in that moment... and then we instantly turned around when she attacked Discord, feeling it was uncalled for."

"Well..." Pinkie mumbles nervously, very unlike the party pony. "T-that's because she was being a meanie pants to him..."

"But earlier we felt bad for her, because she is so obviously very tired and stressed," Rarity is quick to point out. "Tell me; did that fact really change at all between when she apologized to Discord and when she yelled at him for his mistakes?

"Or... when we yelled at her for her own?"

Again a silence falls between to two trotting ponies as they stare at their third.

"... My head hurts," Pinkie Pie whimpers quietly, barely loud enough to be heard. "Is Discord the meanie pants here or Twilight, Rarity? Or is Applejack for standing up for Discord, even though he may have done something mean himself... or is Big Mac... urgh!"

Slowing down, but only slightly, Rarity slides in next to the pink pony and places a reassuring hoof upon her back. This results in her awkwardly galloping upon three legs, but it was a tradeoff she was more than willing to make.

"This isn't as simple as one pony being right and the other wrong, Pinkie Pie," Rarity speaks softly to the saddened mare. "It really isn't. It's not even as simple as saying that everypony is in the wrong here, even if it is increasingly becoming apparent that this might very well be the case.

"Every single pony here right now is being influenced by their emotions, girls," the fashionista explains sagely. "Twilight's high emotions are coming from her stress, and it is something we, as her friends, are going to need to address soon here before she does something we know she'll regret. If times weren't so dire at the moment I'd suggest we try to take her aside and do what we can to calm her down...

"Applejack's wild emotions are coming from her love for her brother... and perhaps something else; something deep and personal that she is reluctant to confide in us about. This might just be my mare's intuition speaking, but I don't believe that I am wrong in my belief.

"We three are also being influenced, I'm afraid, whether we'd like to admit to it or not. How quickly did we go from supporting Twilight to yelling at her... I don't believe we were wrong in our defending of Discord, but now I believe we were not entirely in the right either. He may have been trying to help, even admitting that what he was about to share with us was only going to paint a target on his back... but Twilight does make a valid point towards the possibility of this all being part of some plan of his."

"I don't think he planned any of this," quickly defends Fluttershy, speaking up. "I really don't. H-he may have broke my trust before, but I don't think the time we spent together was all just him pretending to care. I honestly think that the pain we saw in his eyes was real, both with Tirek and now..."

Rarity now aims her soft smile at the contemplative Fluttershy.

"... And that is what is influencing your high emotions, Fluttershy," she explains tiredly around her expression. "How you've been easily able to find strength to speak up in these stressful times... Meanwhile, Pinkie's shockingly subdued emotions are simply the result of all our petty squabbling..." Tilting her head, Rarity glances at the earth pony next to her. "... and possibly something else..."

Although their eyes meet for a brief second, Pinkie quickly tries to look away.

"... Again this may just be mare's intuition speaking. I won't pry if that is what you wish, Pinkie."

Pinkie weakly smiles back at Rarity, lifting her head up once again.

"As for me," Rarity finishes with a shake of her own head. "Concerning my emotions... mine are being influenced by all the sad people and ponies I've been forced to see today." A sigh escapes the unicorn's lips. "The patrons of Sugarcube Corner, the Cakes, Discord and Twilight and poor Applejack, you girls as well... and especially Big Macintosh... Everypony is making everypony else unhappy today; it's a vicious cycle. The Cake's case gives me hope that things will turn out for the better, that the chain can be broken... but I'm afraid my heart won't be able to hold out for much longer, what with all this drama happening all around it.

"And... a-and besides that, there is a very real fear gripping me right now," Rarity admits, ears flat against her head. "A fear lingering over my mind at this time; a selfish fear, I know, but one nonetheless. It is not an unfounded fear, that much is sure, for I am most certain it is a fear I share with dear Applejack equally in this moment.

"That fear... is the fear of being critiqued by Big Macintosh; the fear of soon learning his innermost thoughts about me.

"... It would be an ordeal neither of us would t-truly survive unscathed, girls," the unicorn mutters lowly, choking up a little. "E-everypony is expecting me to become very, very violent when my sins are finally laid bare for all to see... As much as I wish that I could deny these claims with my head held high, I-I'm afraid I can't do such a thing with the utmost confidence. I can not predict how it is that I'll truly react...

"It will, more likely than not though, be a reaction unfavorable for the group as a whole. Of this I am most certain. No matter what is said to me, ladies, I am a hundred percent sure that I will act just as emotionally driven as either Twilight or Applejack, and thus doing something rash. If I do end up doing something when I am not in my right mind, know that you girls have e-every right to blame me for my actions... Just know that I will be truly sorry..."

"... O... o-okay, Rarity," Fluttershy replies quietly after a minute has passed in relative silence. "A-and... and I'm sorry too, for whatever I do when he starts t-talking to m-m-me."

"Oh, Fluttershy," Rarity quickly coos in a low voice. "I do not believe you have much to worry about. From what you have told me about your brief encounter with him; out of all the possible things he could have said to you in that short span of time when your paths crossed, he chose a compliment above any sort of nitpicks or negativity...

"... It was a rather vulgar compliment, I'll admit... but a compliment nonetheless. Whatever the secret thoughts he harbors in his heart towards you may be, darling, I truly believe that they can not be all that bad."

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie chimes in happily, sounding a bit more like her normal self. "Be proud of your booty, Shy!"

Fluttershy's cheeks turn bright red at this. She covers her now tomato colored face with her outstretched wings.

"Howdy there," roughly comments a suddenly appearing Applejack, having slowed down just enough to still be in front of the three, yet still be close to the flying Twilight. "Just gonna spell it out for ya'; I've been passively listenin' in on your conversation... I don't rightfully know what for a hill of beans y'all are actually talking about, but I'm now reasonably sure it was a discussion about Fluttershy's badonkadonk..."

Turning her head over her shoulder, the farmer shoots an unamused glare at her three friends.

"That's not helpin' mah brother right now in the slightest. Come on now; pick up the pace, ladies! Yeehaw!"

Kicking up a decent sized cloud of dust, Applejack speeds up and leaves the separated group in the, well, dust. Coughing on said dirty cumulous, Rarity shouts to her friends "Cough!! S-see what I mean, you two? From the concerned friend we know and love, to an emotional driven brute, and then back to our friend again... This just proves my point!

"We have a very serious problem on our hooves right now, girls...

"... and it doesn't involve Poison Joke."

With a rare burst of speed very few knew the fashion pony could even maintain, let alone produce, Rarity does as she's told and picks up her pace. Nodding their heads solemnly in agreement to what has just been said, Pinkie Pie and Flutteryshy soon do the very same, the former kicking up her own dust cloud while the latter taking to the skies above upon yellow wings.

Their quickened pace doesn't last long though as, rounding a corner, the three ponies quickly find themselves having to kill their speed, less they run over the suddenly halted Applejack. They slide to a standstill in front of the equally motionless pony, whose head is pointed straight ahead as her eyes stare at something the rest of the girls can't see. Confused, the three of them look around (or above, in Fluttershy's case) the orange pony only to find Twilight standing at attention in front of her, staring forward as well... at her home.

"... I hate being right," the princess grumbles loudly to nopony in particular. "I used to love being right... but nowadays it seems like me being right is literally the worst thing that can happen to a pony..."

The three ponies look at one another, silently trying to decipher their friend's cryptic words amongst themselves. Stepping around Applejack, so they could see beyond her and Twilight at the same time, Pinkie Fluttershy and Rarity try to discover what it is that has caused their friends to stop moving.

The sight of a familiar looking school teacher answers all of their questions. Cheerilee's head is bowed low, her mane falling over her eyes, as she causally trots on out of the Friendship Death Castle all by her lonesome...

... with a huge smile clearly plastered to her face.

Pegasus, unicorn, and earth pony glance back at the frustrated looking Twilight, trying to figure out why it is she seems so gloomy at this current deployment, while Applejack simply gallops away from the group and towards Cheerilee's side.

"M-miss Cheerilee," Applejack calls to the pony weakly, unsure how to properly proceed. The smile upon her lips surely must mean that something good has happened for once today... right? Big Mac, sweet old Big Mac, wouldn't dare hurt the pony she knew he was smitten with... r-right?

As Cheerilee lifts up her head towards the farmer, Applejack is soon given her heart wrenching answer.

The smile upon her lips is as large as it is warm...

... the tears upon her cheeks are as hot as they are numerous.

With a quiet sniff to herself, Cheerilee's smile grows slightly wider as she looks at Applejack, and then the rest of the gathered girls. Raising her tear stained, smiling head upwards to the path ahead, the purple pony slowly trots away with the gentle clip and a clop of her hooves against the dirt and rock garnished Ponyville road. Four of the five gathered ponies watch this with mouths agape as the school teacher's form slowly disappears into the distance.

One silent look of concern is quickly shared among the more stable ponies of the group before they all together decide to charge forward into the imposing palace before them.

___________

"Oh Spikey Wikey..." Rarity cries softly as she approaches the hypnotized drake. With a face full of concern, the unicorn gently rubs her cheek against his own only to produce no response. The little dragon continues to write on. "C-can you cure him, Twilight?" she pleads.

Twilight shrugs passively as she trots through the pool of scrolls all around her. Her eyes twitch at the mess as she replies "Eh, probably... but not right now. I don't think I could manage something as advanced as a memory spell with my mind being the way it is currently. I might end up botching up the darn thing and make it permanent for him."

"P-permanent?!" the fashion pony gives a shocked shriek.

"Yeah, permanent," Twilight replies with another shrug, her brain unable to truly process the pony's concern. "Same thing would have happened if I screwed up casting it on any of you way back when. It was a risk I was willing to take though."

Rarity suddenly feels very sick to her stomach. She tightens her hold slightly on the dragon next to her in response, unintentionally cuddling him closely to her chest. Still Spike doesn't respond as he continues to write scroll after scroll.

Meanwhile, in the air above, Fluttershy watches as Applejack slowly tries to approach her brother, and as Pinkie Pie begins 'swimming' in the pool of scrolls below, seemingly at random.

"Mac..." Applejack once again calls out weakly. Just like with Cheerilee, the farmer doesn't know how to proceed. Big Macintosh's body language isn't helping her in the slightest either, for his forehead is firmly planted on the magical mirror's surface and nothing more. Said mirror's inner image is currently that of the local apple family relative Apple Cobbler; a remarkably unremarkable brown earth pony. Big Mac is quietly mumbling words about her, both good and bad... but Applejack can easily see that his tired mind is elsewhere.

The small puddle of tears on the ground in front of him is also hard for his sister to ignore.

The younger farmer finds herself tongue-tied for words and unable to bring herself to take another step forward. Her hoof remains outstretched as she tries to make up her flustered mind.

"... Dear Miss Cheerilee..."

All heads in the room, except for the distracted Big Mac and the discorded Spike, suddenly whip towards Pinkie Pie, who now has an open scroll firmly grasped in her hooves. No one questions how she was able to find this particular message out of the Spike created pile of them, for they all knew this would be like asking why water is wet, thus pointless. Instead they simply accept it for what it is as they quickly look towards the crestfallen Big Mac. When the stallion doesn't speak up, except for the occasional comment towards the pony in the mirror, the girls decide to trot over to Pinkie Pie's side and sit next to her and the 'letter'.

Once everypony is gathered, the party pony looks over at Big Mac one last time, waits to see if he objects at all to her reading this potentially private message, and when she receives no response from him she begins to read aloud.

______________

Dear Miss Cheerilee,

Please, oh please don't come any closer to me. I'm not in my right mind today. I've been cursed by Poison Joke. My lips can't stop flapping, my voice can't stop vomiting hateful things on ponies... Please leave. Please please please leave now. I don't want to hurt you. I don't I don't I don't... Please leave before... before...

Before I tell you how much I honestly love you.

I do, Miss Cheerilee. Truly I do. Your smile, your voice, your warmth... I love it all. A day has not gone by when my mind doesn't find itself dwelling on the time we've spent together since we met. It's those happy memories that keep me company out there in those lonely fields, as I work day and night for my family. I don't think I'll ever be able to do my work the same way again if I were to ever fail to remember your beaming face or your kind heart. We even share a love of children. I do believe we're perfect for each other in every way, and I would love nothing more than to one day start a family with you. The home we would create together would be filled with the sound of tiny hooves galloping to and fro and I would be eternally happy.

But that day will never come to pass.

For I do not love you with all of my heart.

Before we met, my heart belonged to my family and my family alone. To my granny and my sisters; to my cousins and aunts and uncles and to those who I don't truly love and to those who have passed on into whatever lies beyond this mortal coil. My heart was and is forever their's, and it especially belongs to sweet little Apple Bloom.

The same Apple Bloom who often comes home crying due to bullying.

Bullying that you allowed to happen time and time again.

Before I got to know you, before we ever truly met, I thought nothing but horrible things about you. I thought of you as a hack; a halfhearted charlatan who was only truly doing her job for a paycheck and nothing more. I didn't think you really cared about those foals, and that fact sickened me. If the fear of mares wasn't beaten into me at an early age thanks to my deceased mother, I would have marched down to your school years ago and given you a piece of my mind. I wouldn't have cared that you would be crying, I wouldn't have cared if you were outright fired; my sister's life would have been made easier and that would have been all that I cared about.

But I never did. I never did and now I regret it, for the first time we met wasn't over a heated discussion... but instead a glass of punch.

A glass of love poison.

And it is this very poison that prevents us from ever joining together; prevents me from saying that I love you with all of my heart. How can I ever say such a thing, after all, if I don't rightfully know if I'm speaking from the heart or from a poison flowing through my veins? The girls said we were cured, but how will I ever really know if this is true? I never met you before the drink, all I remember is a hatred for you and nothing more. How do I know my new feelings for you are actually real? How do you know the ones you have for me are real? I will never blame those girls for what they did, I care too much for them to ever truly stay mad at them, but I will admit that they are the reason for why I am saying what I am saying now. They are the cause, but these words I speak are mine and mine alone. I at least know that this fact is true.

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... but I will never be able to love you completely. I tried to convince myself otherwise all this time; hoped beyond hope that I was just reading things wrong, that our relationship could actually work... but all I did was lead you on. I gave you false hope when I should have just been honest with you upfront. I shouldn't have tried to fool you along with myself, and now all I've done is hurt you something fierce. I'm sorry... I'm sorry... but somewhere, in the dark recesses of my mind, you will always be known as the teacher who allowed my little sister, the filly who I love with all of my heart, to be bullied... to cry...

And nothing more.

... Good bye, Miss Cheerilee. May you one day find a special somepony who loves you for the wonderful mare you really are, deep inside.

______________

Crack!

A sound interrupts Pinkie's reading, causing the girls to turn their heads. All eyes fall on Big Mac as he again gently bashes his head against the mirror, creating cracks and drawing blood.

"Eeyup."

Crack!

"N-nope..."

Crack!

"E-e-eyup..."

Crack!

"N-n-n-n-"

The appearance of orange hooves around his barrel halts the stallion from inflicting another self injury upon himself. Applejack, embracing her brother with all her might, gently whispers, "That's enough, partner. That's enough..."

"N-n-nope..." Mac whimpers in response, his eyes shut tightly to hold back the tears and to prevent the blood from his forehead to seep in.

Staining her coat, Applejack runs a hoof over this cut, trying to clean it just a bit. "You ain't got nothin' else to worry about, Big Mac," the earth pony says to her brother. "It's all over now. We've got the cure right here for ya'! Come on; let's get you to Twilight's bathtub and we can-"

"Not happening."

The room falls silent.

Applejack turns to look at her alicorn friend.

"... What," the farmer demands flatly.

For the third time, Twilight uses her wings to shrug. "Not happening," she repeats, as if it was all that she needed to say. "I don't have a bathtub here."

The girls blink.

"... Okay," Applejack mumbles. "Then we'll just take him to your showe-"

"I don't have one of those either," Twilight quickly replies.

"... What?"

"Also no bathrooms," the princess goes on, ignoring the stares she is receiving. More and more loose ends begin to pop on out of her weathered mane. "No running water in general, actually! Fancy that! Hahahah!"

"N-no running water?!" Rarity gasps loudly at the laughing alicorn. She stops laughing at this and gives the unicorn a leveled stare.

"... It's a magical self growing crystal tree, Rarity," the alicorn deadpans. "It's not that surprising that it doesn't have one or two... or twenty of life's modern day conveniences. Bathrooms are just one item on that ever growing list."

"... Um... s-so, how do you and Spike...?"

"We've been stealing our neighbor's hose water at night to stay clean," Twilight quickly answers Fluttershy, no hint of embarrassment in her words. "It's a miracle that the tabloids haven't discovered that little juicy headline yet... As for going to the bathroom? Hahahah... hahahahah!! Y-you girls really don't want to know! Hah!

"... I hate this place..." Twilight suddenly says, switching from laughing manically to being completely serious. "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it..." She lets out a long sigh. "... No water, no heating, it sucks magic out of the environment and causes trouble for everypony in town..." Anger begins to seep into her once calm voice. "...and it's a Celestia damn eyesore!

"This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me, girls. I hate it... grrr... grrr!!"

With a loud growl of frustration, Twilight rises up into the air and screams at the top of her flustered lungs that "I!

"Fluffing!

"Hate!

"This!

"Bucking!

"Stress causing!

"Castle!! I hate it with all of my heart and soul! Hate hate hate, grrrrr!!!"

"Oh boo, freaking, hoo. So the spoiled little princess doesn't like her new toy... Forgive me for not being that sympathetic."

...

...

Silence.

Nothing but silence.

A deep, dark silence had fallen over the room, nearly bringing it down to a sub-zero temperature.

Once again, all eyes fell on Big Macintosh. Looks of horror were etched on four of the five mare's faces.

An equal look of horror soon appears on the stallion's face as his brain slowly catches up with his rogue mouth, detailing what exactly he had just said and to who. He slowly turns away from the mirror as he nervously looks up to the flying alicorn overhead. "O-oh... o-o-oh no..."

"..."

Twilight stops flapping her wings. With an unceremonious crash, she lands on her hooves roughly and begins to slowly trot up to Big Mac. Her face is devoid of emotion and the smoke coming off of her horn has only increased in volume.

"T-twi," Applejack begins to say, stepping into the unstable princess' path. "S-sugarcube? Y-y-you need to calm down here now. It was just a slip up! Y-you can't blame... there's no reason... j-just listen to me!"

Applejack's words fall on deaf ears as, with the simple application of magic, a pure wall of dark purple energy separates the two ponies. Twilight tilts her head to the side, using the half completed forcefield to push her friend off of the path and towards the rest of the gathered mares. The four ponies watch with scared eyes as Twilight completes the field, encasing herself and Big Macintosh within its magenta dome. The stallion backs away from the approaching princess, accidentally knocking over the mirror behind him and shattering it. The sound this action makes is ignored as Big Mac falls backwards onto his flank, somehow avoiding the glass. "P-princess Twilight," he rambles. "I... I-I..."

"..."

Twilight leans forward, looking the red pony directly in his scared green eyes...

... and then she leans backwards, falling onto her own flank and simply sitting there. Her forelegs are held firm and her form stands at attention as she stares at the now talkative stallion.

"... Well, Big Macintosh?" Twilight asks simply, her voice the very definition of cold and frigid. "... Go on.

"I'm listening."

Chapter 14 *FIXED*

Author's Note

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for having to talk down to people like this, but after all the I hate I've received for this chapter...

DISCLAIMER:

As was the case with the entire story so far, please understand that these are not my opinions; these are my biases. I am writing what I think these characters would say, not using them as a mouthpiece to spread hatful things. I don't honestly think these two feel this way towards themselves and each other; they are both being written as people who are stressed, not thinking straight, and in Twilight's case have low self-esteem, even though she has done so much good in her life. I am writing them in as human of a way as I can, using the biases I have that I can never truly extinguish myself of.

I'm sorry if this chapter irks you in anyway. The story ends on Chapter 18 plus Epilogue; take heart that you're almost at the finish line.

Love,
-Derply

EDIT: Concerning the *FIXED* part of the title; originally, the cause of Smarty Pant's ripping was a very crude and out of place joke. I have since changed it to something in better taste. THERE IS NO REASON TO REREAD THE CHAPTER, THOSE OF YOU WHO ALREADY HAVE!! The result is still the same.

Chapter 14 *FIXED*

Twilight Sparkle had unknowingly granted Big Macintosh a small mercy with her heated reaction.

So scared was he, so full of absolute terror, every ounce of air had left the stallion’s lungs the moment the mare had uttered her command of “Go on.” Unable to breathe and, more importantly, unable to speak, the stallion was finally able to use his mind for the first time all day long. Though it was only for a split second, it was all the time he needed to reorganize his shattered thoughts and thus produce a response that, in his mind, would not result in him being instantly vaporized on the spot.

Not on the initial response, of course... but this didn’t include what he would possibly say afterwards. This didn’t protect him from uttering his true thoughts and feelings completely to the clearly stressed alicorn. There was nothing he could do about this though; nothing he could do to prevent himself from incurring the wrath of a princess. He very well knew this, deep in his heart.

… Somewhere, in the back of his frightened mind, Big Mac wondered if maybe this was for the best.

With a sharp intake of air, his lungs refilled and now ready to go, the big red farmer was forced to speak once again.

"... Twilight," he began his speech. "Spoiled... 'spoiled' ain't the right word to describe what you are..."

Twilight remained frozen before him, giving the stallion no indication on whether or not she even heard his words. This didn't stop him from continuing; both the poison joke upon his tongue and the barrier separating the two of them from the outside world assured this fact.

"I... I sorta use the words 'spoiled' and 'privileged' interchangeably in mah vocabulary,” Big Macintosh tries to explain weakly. “W-when I think of the word 'spoiled'... I think of Canterlot nobles. I think of ponies with too much time and money on their hooves, relaxing in the lap of luxury, while others break their backs and spill their blood doing what they can to keep Equestria moving forward.

“When I think of Canterlot nobles, yours used to be the first face I thought of... before I got to know you, that is. You were one before becoming a princess, after all, and you still are now to an extent...

"... You're not spoiled like them though, Twilight,” Big Macintosh states, looking away from the princess’ emotionless stare. “You're privileged. You’re the very definition of privileged, not spoiled. There is a difference between the two; a slight one that I never bothered to recognize, due to seeing too much of the former and not enough of the latter...

"To be spoiled is to flaunt your wealth before everypony and to brag about all that you've gained.

"To be privileged is to accept that you are gifted above others, but be humbled by the fact. Not many privileged ponies aren't also a little bit spoiled in mah eyes, so I never felt the need to separate the two.

“I’m just as privileged as you, I’ll admit, and even a little bit spoiled. I was born into a wonderful family full of ponies who I love, after all; for better or worse I ain’t ever gonna find mahself alone in this big scary world of ours. Compared to others, who don’t even know they have a third cousin twice removed, well... I reckon I’m a bit privileged, and a bit spoiled.

"Let it never be said, Princess Twilight Sparkle, that you are truly spoiled,” Big Macintosh proclaimed, looking the princess in eyes once again. “The words crossed my mind, but they were not the words etched in my heart. You're a hard working member of this community; you’re as far from spoiled as they get.

“Organizin’ Winter Wrap Up,

“solvin’ magical problems,

“introducin’ the town to Zecora, the Saddle Arabians, the Breezies, and Celestia knows how many new creatures now that we have this here castle,

“and you've even been helpin’ mah sister and her little friends learn new skills! These are just some of the many things you've done for this town. Some of the many things you’ve done to improve it for the better.

“As somepony who's lived here all his live; as somepony who was privileged to be born here, I thank you for making Ponyville your home... I-it just wouldn't be the same without you, p-princess!"

The red stallion tries to chuckle, and he tries to smile... but Twilight's unamused and stony face is all he receives. Slowly the laughter trails off into nothingness as Big Mac begins to sweat.

With a gulp, unable to stop himself, he eventually adds the all damning "B-but..." to his glowing praise.

Twilight remains still, not even raising an eyebrow. She simply waits for the pony to continue.

"B-but... but, despite all this, you're still just so… s-so…”

With a heavy sigh, Big Macintosh breaks eye contact yet again and mutters...

“... Unstable."

Gasps can be heard coming from outside of the magical dome; from the audience of mares watching and listening to all of the one-sided exchange. The banging of hooves off the magical barrier can be heard as well as Applejack bucks harder and harder against the impenetrable wall, her teeth gritted and her expression fierce.

Her efforts go unacknowledged as Big Macintosh hangs his head low and goes on.

"Just... so… incredibly unstable…” he utters slowly, his voice as small as he can make it. This is sadly not very low at all, so his words continue to be heard by all quite clearly. “You… y-you try to use logic and reasoning to solve your problems, I know you do... But that's only after you've tried to solve it through magic and it fails completely in the most spectacular way possible... Making an even bigger mess!”

With these last words, a hint of anger enters the stallion’s words. “If I’m cursed to speak the truth, then by Celestia above I’m gonna speak it truthfully,” he mumbles to himself, unable to think the words in his frazzled brain. “I’m already doomed... What’s a little more fuel to the fire?”

It is with steeled, tear stained eyes that Big Macintosh again looks the princess in the face.

“As much as you’ve helped this town in the years you’ve been here, Princess, you’re spells and your poor judgment have caused just as much trouble and devastation! That really shouldn't be a surprise to anypony though. After all; I’ve never met a pony who relies on spells as heavily in their everyday life like you do. Spells for basic problems, spells for common inconveniences, spells for avoiding trouble… When you spellweave in a day more than any single unicorn does in their entire life, it’s understandable that one or two mishaps are bound to happen.

"I understand how unicorns see their magic as a part of themselves,” the stallion explains sagely, surprising the watching girls with his knowledge. “Never did I think of a unicorn as being 'lazy' for levitatin’ things around when they have two perfectly good hooves they could use. How much of a hypocrite would that make me look? My sis and I take the soil's strength into us and use it as our own all the time when we work; to say that a unicorn or even a pegasus doesn't have the same basic right with their own gifts would be as selfish as it is idiotic.

"But, that having been said... I also understand what spells mean to a unicorn as well.

“Magical spells are an expression of who a pony is, deep inside; an extension of their special talents given life through their gifts. Many ponies discover that one spell that defines who they are when they receive their cutie marks, or they find it themselves later on if they are bright enough to relearn what was once lost. I understand the significance of you creating a spell from Starswirl’s notes, Twilight; what it could mean for the future of not only ponykind, but Equus itself.

“But… spells are still to be held as something special. They aren't supposed to be cure-alls for every little problem a unicorn could ever have. They’re supposed to enhance their lives, and maybe the lives of others; not make them easier.

“Spells are to unicorns what the soil is to earth ponies and what the sky is to pegasi; the thing that connects them together and allows them to spread harmony to one another. If they could solve everything, like completely control the weather or conjure food, then what point is there in having three tribes at all? It’s this reason why I think most unicorns don't even have the strength in them to learn more than a bushel of spells in their lifetime, let alone perform them; because if every unicorn had that kind of power inside themselves, then the mere idea of ‘harmony’ would have died off long ago. Ponies would have died off long ago as well; forever frozen in an eternal winter thanks to the Windigos.

"If we were all as powerful as you, Twilight, Equestria would have never been formed.

“That’s because spells are something completely different to you, Princess. I learned that fact long ago. Your special talent is magic, after all, which means you want to learn as much about it as you can. It's a noble goal, one that has obviously served you well so far... but, somewhere along the way in your training, something went wrong. You began to see spells as the solution to all of life's troubles; the exact opposite of what they truly are.

"I know about your exploits, oh yes I know. I know what kinds of spells you’ve slung in the past. I've kept my ears open and listened in on all the gossip; I know which is fact and which is fiction.

“I know how you tried to mind control the parasprites, trying to starve them out. How quickly did you light up your horn to do that, huh? How long did it take for you to cast that spell without thinking, turning those things into dangerous monsters of destruction?

"How much actual thought did you put into your actions that day?

"You tried again at Winter Wrap Up, attempting to do the job of an earth pony with your magic. Ignoring the fact of how ignorant and insulting such a thing was; you could have gosh darn hurt yourself or others with that come to life spell of yours!

“But you weren't thinking that at the time, were you?

"... Do I even need to mention the doll incident?

"These examples are from over a year ago. So much has changed since then... yet I know for a fact that you haven't changed at all.

“What was it y'all called it?” Mac asks Twilight with a grunt, not expecting an answer from her still form. "Flutterbat, was it? The result of you yet again trying to bend others to your whim through the use of your magic?

"Magic magic magic... It's what makes our world function and survive, and it’s the end result of the bonds we share with one another. As the Element of Magic, and as the Princess of Friendship, a pony would think that you, of all ponies, would be the one who understands and respects this natural order of life above all others. One would think that you would be the one to shed light on the darkness.

"This couldn't be further from the truth though. Right, Twilight?

"You're the one who abuses this gift most of all.

"... Why you became a princess at all I don't rightfully know. I don’t think you’re mentally mature enough to handle such a thing; I don’t think you can rightfully handle all that responsibility on your own yet, or the extra power that comes with it.

“But… I suppose there was nothing that could have been done to prevent this. It wasinevitable; it’s what you’ve been groomed all these years into becoming, after all.

"Maybe that's why you are the way you are, Princess. Why you instantly resort to your powers first when times get tough...

“Your upbringing.

“A unicorn filly, growing up in the heart of Equestria; two rich nobles for parents, with a captain of the royal guard for a brother, a princess for a foalsitter, and the genetics to become the strongest unicorn in existence?

“Sounds like a made fillyhood to me.

“Sounds like a made life to me.

"... I can't blame you for such a thing though; it be like complaining that you're purple. Nopony can choose such a thing, only what they make of it.

“In that respect I can blame you.

“I can certainly blame you for how you've abused the gifts you were given. Look at Spike for one thing,” Mac comments, waving a hoof at the dazed dragon wrapped in Rarity’s forelegs, beyond the barrier. Twilight doesn’t turn to look. “Your assistant... you hatched him from an egg? Practically raised him yourself? You're his guardian, his caretaker…

“... Yet you allowed him to become a greed fueled monster on his birthday?! You allowed him to become some kind of horrible beast against his will, putting the lives of everypony he cares about in danger?!

“What,

“the,

“actual,

“horse,

“hell, Twilight?! What the actual horse hell?! Why, I bet the little guy still has nightmares about the whole thing!

“Is not knowing how dragons react to greed really a valid excuse for you, Princess?” Big Mac accuses. So wrapped up in his rant, so engrossed was he, the stallion didn’t even notice when he had returned to his hooves, nor did he notice when he stepped forward. The earth pony now stood inches away from the alicorn’s face. Despite the mare’s increased height upon ascension, Big Mac still towered over her. He glared down while Twilight stared up with cold, unmoving eyes.

“Did Celestia, of all ponies, really not warn you about such a thing,” Mac asks, tapping Twilight on the chest with a hoof. “... Or did you simply not care enough to ask?

“When I look back and see how you've 'solved' your problems in the past, Princess? I… I honestly believe it’s the latter. You care about the little guy, I know you do... just not enough to deviate from your studies, it seems.” A weak smile appears on the stallion’s face as he continues to stand over the mare. "But I suppose everything is alright in the end, isn't it? After all, it's 'destiny', ain’t it?

“You were destined to be magically gifted at birth.

“You were destined to see that rainbow and become Celestia's pupil on the spot.

“Destined to be forced to move to Ponyville.

“Destined to meet mah sister and have her and her friends become your very first companions.

“Destined to find the Elements of harmony on the day Princess Luna was set to return.

“Destined to aim said elements at the bad guys and fire, solvin’ every problem imaginable.

“Destined to become the Princess of Friendship for the joined efforts of your friends.

“Destined to have this castle hoofed to you on a silver platter, warts and all.

"Destiny… Everypony has a destiny. It’s planted on our flanks, for Celestia’s sake. To deny that it exists is to deny a central portion of our culture; to deny a central portion of ourselves.

“Can you really deny that you’ve been given a charmed and privileged life then, Princess? I know you can’t… but then why do you resort to shortcuts so darn often? You should be the most confident mare in existence; the mare who was given every tool imaginable to become the best that a pony could ever be.

“But you slack off so often; with taking care of Spike or taking care of others respectfully or, heck, even just taking care of yourself. Just look at yourself right now! You’re a pony whose obviously hit her limit long ago! Did you honestly not know when you needed to stop? Did you honestly think that your friends wouldn’t have been happy to lend you more than the little bit of help they’ve already given to you? Even I would have happily lent you a hoof, just as I have in the past! If it would have assured that you wouldn’t have ended up becoming this absolute emotional wreck of an alicorn before me now, I would have done all that I could to prevent another Smarty Pants incident from happenin’!

“Maybe… maybe this is just the stigma left over from your Canterlot days; from the days when you were a noble competing among nobles. Don’t you dare claim that you weren’t playing the game; nopony willingly plays the game of high nobility, but we all do in one way or another.

“Maybe you are the way you are because seeking shortcuts and cuttin’ corners is just the way things are done at the top; the proper way for a pony to act. Your use of spells, your neglect to study anything unrelated to your current field of magic, your constant need to have all the answers... I don't think you'll ever be able to shake such deep Canterlot roots... and maybe that's a good thing.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that ponies will always have these stereotypes to fall back on when it comes to understanding who you are. After all, while the rest of Equestria celebrated your assentation into an alicorn, I felt as if I was the only one who was scared to death. You, of all ponies, being given even more magic and more power over others? That was just a recipe for disaster, I reckoned. I prayed that others would one day see the same thing that I saw out of that turn of events; see the train wreck in the making. I don’t think it’s happened yet, I don’t think ponies see, but I know they will eventually. Knowing you? I’m certain it’ll happen someday.

“I’m certain that, one day, Equestria will see the wonderful, privileged, hard working, shortcut seeking, kind hearted, mentally unstable, magical, horribly powerful, knowledgeable, scary as all get out mare whose doll I once stole out of spite for who she really i-”

Pop

Big Macintosh blinks blankly as he suddenly realizes that he has somehow lost the ability to move his mouth. Looking down, the stallion tries to mumble something around his new zipper shaped lips, but this proves ultimately futile. He tries to use his hooves to unzip this purple zipper, but Twilight slaps his forelegs away with the tip of her wings; this action being the first thing she has done since the stallion began his rant.

"... I know that probably hurts," Twilight says emotionlessly, ignoring the complaints of her friends from beyond the magical barrier for her actions. "I know you want to keep on talking, that you have more to say…”

The alicorn’s eyes harden as she hovers in the air and stares down at the stallion.

“... But it’s my turn now, Big Macintosh.”

The princess jabs her hoof at the earth pony’s chest.

“You’re not the only pony who lost their filter today, buddy,” she explains with a growl; the first sign of emotion she has displayed since the barrier was formed. “You’re not the only one who can’t censor themselves anymore.

“So... I believe it’s only fair for me to get a few words in now, don’t you think?

“Words like how I think you’re a Celestiadamn workaholic like your sister. Or words like how I calculated your life expectancy based on this kind of lifestyle! Spoiler alert; it’s not as hot as what you probably think it would be. Hate to break it to you, Mac, but you’re no Granny how-the-hay-are-her-bones-not-dust-by-now Smith and I don’t think you’ll ever be at the rate you’re going. I don’t even want to think how the stress you’ve dealt with today has affected those already dwindling numbers...

“Or, let’s talk about your whole ‘never talking and instead bottling everything up’ thing, hmm? Lets talk about that little chestnutand how it’s doing absolutely nothing but hurt everypony around you!

“I know how much family and friends mean to you, Macintosh... but let’s talk about how, due to your silent actions, it’s now statistically unlikely that you’re ever going to find true happiness for yourself… ever. I’m not talking about now, with the poison joke on your tongue; I’m talking about how you’ve lived your life up to this point.

“You’re never going to form true bonds with others by keeping everything to yourself, not even ones with your own family. You don’t need to look much further than at your frantic sister, or poor Cheerilee to see how what I’m saying is right.

“... And, on the subject of making ponies miserable... everything you just said to me? Every little, tiny, painful, personal secret that you just vomited all over me? That you kept all this time in your sick, twisted, opinionated mind?”

Falling backwards, Big Mac weakly tries to crawl away from the slowly approaching alicorn, only to then cut his hoof on the broken glass around him. He pauses after this, remembering that there is nowhere to run inside of the purple forcefield anyways. With a muffled scream, Big Mac turns around and discovers that he is inches away from Twilight's face yet again. He shrinks lower to the ground as the princess rises and rises until she is absolutely towering over the normally large pony. Curling up into a ball, Mac looks away as Twilight raises a hoof into the air. She swings it downwards, as if she is about to smack the farmer as hard as she can.

“...”

“...”

… Big Mac eventually looks up again when the blow never comes. What he sees instead is the purple hoof simply hovering in the air before him, pointing at him not accusingly, but numbly.

"... You're right," Twilight admits, her voice neither devoid of emotion or holding a great fury within it.

Instead it was small.

Small, weak… and sad.

"Y-you're absolutely right, Big Mac."

Though his mind burned from the pain of being unable to talk, Mac simply lays there and watches Twilight silently.

"It was destiny and luck, not hard work and determination, that got me where I am today," the princess admits in a small voice. She looks away and continues. "That's... something I've been thinking about a lot lately; where I would be if fate wasn't always on my side like it seems to be...

"Where would I be if Rainbow Dash never performed her sonic rainboom? I would probably have gone to a public school, never properly developing my skills and never becoming the spell slinger I am today... I'm sure Spike would have been born eventually; maybe the pony who accomplished it would have actually done her research on dragons... unlike me.

"... Where would I be if I wasn't born with the magical talent I was gifted with? What if I was born a pegasus or an earth pony? Would I still have one day met and became friends with all these wonderful ponies? Would I even still be the same pony myself?

“Would I still have been able to claim my Element of Harmony and become an alicorn... or would that destiny have fallen to another, more worthy, pony...?

"Where would I be if I wasn't a princess today? How different would things have been if I could not have acted as a conduit for the princesses' magic? Celestia's gambit... giving all of the alicorn magic in Equestria to me for safe keeping... Would she still have done it, I wonder, if I wasn't deemed… useful, in her eyes?

“... I don’t think she would have.

“At first I had thought the reason she trusted me with her magic was because I was somepony worth trusting, because I had earned said trust from her through my actions…

“... but it was only later, when I faced Tirek, did I understand along with him what my fellow princesses had done.

"Celestia, Luna, even Cadence... they didn't give me their magic because they felt I would be able to protect it, oh no... they were simply giving the baseball bat to the biggest bully on the playground."

A saddened smile crosses Twilight's lips as she returns her attention to the silenced Big Mac.

"My talent is magic. Giving me their magic meant that I would become the most powerful creature on the planet," the princess explains factually. "That was Celestia’s true goal, her gambit.

“My mentor, the pony I trusted above all others, even my family and friends… s-she made me into a blissfully unaware weapon and set me loose on the bad guy...

“No instructions.

“No outside aid.

“Forbidden from seeking help from even my friends... for what I only now realize was for their ownprotection.

“With not even the slightest hint as to what was going on in her mind…

“... Celestia didn't trust me... s-she… didn’t trust me…”

No pony in the room missed the tear that fell from Twilight’s cheek, nore the loud echo it made within the crystal walls when it hit the ground.

“... A-and… and I can't blame her for not.

"Mac,” the alicorn goes on, looking the stallion in the eyes once more. “You, are, not unfounded in your beliefs. Nothing you said to me, nothing you’ve said to anypony today has been outright wrong, because they are your opinions. These are your innermost thoughts; what you’ve held so closely to your heart all this time, fearing what uttering them would do to a pony. Having kept all these thoughts and feelings to yourself for so long; having kept silent for the sake of everypony around you, to those who you truly care about…”

Big Mac’s eyes widen as Twilight wraps him in a warm embrace, resting her head softly against his tired shoulder.

“You’re a noble pony, Big Macintosh,” she whispers softly to the big red farmer. “Of the truest sense of the word, you are noble.

“And I am rash.

“I am impulsive.

“I have more magic than anypony has any right to have, and an even shorter fuse to boot.

“On top of that, I famously can't handle stress well... I mean... just look at me!"

With the wave of her hoof, disengaging the hug, Twilight gestures to the entirety of her disheveled, and slightly smoking, self.

"This is the result of my very first act of being a proper princess! My first real task, without resorting to asking Luna or Cadence for help... and I'm having a hard time simply staying sane! Even with my friends helping me I still find myself slipping further and further into the icky black hole that is my fluffing mind! I can’t blame Celestia for not trusting me when even I can’t trust myself!

"I... I just don't know what to really do anymore," Twilight admits, lowering herself down to the ground again and curling up into a small ball. "I'm trying to stay true to myself and focus on my friends, but then I'm letting the ponies of Ponyville down. I try to focus on them and I end up abandoning my friends and silly vital things like eating and sleeping.

"And you know what the darndest thing is, Big Mac? You're right about another thing; I do rely on magic too much. I learned a valuable lesson from Trixie's last visit here about when not to use magic, but I still rely on it heavily. Even now, as a princess, I'm still making the same rookie mistakes! Flutterbat was entirely my fault, assassinating Spike's confidence at the Equestrian Games was also my fault. I have a responsibility, as an alicorn with great power, to use said power for others... but instead I simply use it as a quick-fix solution for when times get too hard. If my mind slips any further today, I know for a fact that I’ll again resort to it to solve everything currently wrong in town. The end result of such a dangerous thing? Probably Ponyville exploding... again.

"So, no, Big Macintosh," the princess finishes, standing up before the stallion. "You're not unfounded in your beliefs; you're not in the wrong. When I gained these wings, I was scared of the new power and responsibilities I gained with them. I didn't, and still don't think I'm worthy of them. Sometimes I don't think I'm worthy of the life I was gifted with either, and I feel as though I may never be worthy enough for it...

"But I promise you, and everypony here, that I, will, try. I will never stop trying. The crown upon my head is heavy now, but I will grow into it with the help of everypony, not just the ones who sit upon a throne of Friendship here in this death castle.

“I will continue to make mistakes, Big Mac. Oooohhhh I will more than likely make mistakes until the day I die...

“But I will always try to do better the next time. Always.

“... Whether you think I'm worthy of that next time though is entirely up to you…”

Fizzzz...

The sound of leaking magic soon fills the room as the barrier trapping the alicorn and the farmer together begins to shrink away. The zipper lips Big Mac was ‘gifted’ with also begin to fade in and out of existence as the glow of Twilight’s magic weakens.

“I… I think I’m… completely done now, girls,” the alicorn speaks up to the gathered mares behind her, still separated by the slowly deconstructing field of magic. “T-that… that right there was the absolute last of my sanity points… I… h-heh… don’t think I’m gonna last much longer here as a sane individual…”

Looking over her shoulder at her gathered friends, Twilight gives them all a warm smile as her eyes begin to water over.

“I-I-I don’t think I-I’m, heheh, I’m going to be able to make any more ‘smart’ decisions today. T-t-think I’m gonna do… somethin’. I don’t know… But it’ll be… somethin’... heh…”

Nopony has the heart or the courage to tell their now seriously spent friend that she is currently rambling nonsense at this point.

Moving as cautiously as she is slowly, Applejack walks forward, around Twilight, and grabs her brother’s foreleg with her mouth. She tries to drag him away from the still very, very unstable alicorn next to him, but his stupefied form doesn’t make things any easier for the earth pony.

“Heh... heh…” Twilight continues to laugh to herself sporadically, her wings and tail dragging themselves on the floor as she begins to trot in a random direction into the distance. “Heh… h-heh… A-a-almost done. Aaaalllllmost done with… everythin’... hehe…

“... Oh!” she suddenly shouts, turning her head back towards Big Mac. “Almost forgot!” she says with a large, actually honest looking, smile. “Don’t fret about Miss Smarty Pants, Mac; I already knew that you had her for a long, loooooonnnngggg time now! Even from before Gabby Gum’s column on it!”

With her face still beaming, she adds “I didn’t know why you held on to her though; my theories included the possibility of lingering magic, but the fact that she’s not on your person right now proves this theory false. Another thought I had was that she was secretly a collector's item! The state of her in the Gabby Gum’s photo proved this theory false as well though. Other ideas formed in my head... but hearing that it was out of spite now kinda bums me out a little bit.

“Like, seriously… but I don’t blame you! If you saw me as a Canterlot noble like you said you used to at the time, then I would one hundred percent understand why you did what you did! Celestia knows there’s a few old classmates of mine who I’d love to get back at someday…” Twilight suddenly slaps herself playful in the forehead with a hoof, her smile still bright and colorful. “Opps! I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud! Hahah! Silly me!”

Closing her eyes, simply soaking in the imagined ‘good times’ all around her, Twilight cheerily says, “You can return her to me whenever you’d like, Big Mac. Whenever you feel that your thoughts about me have changed! It’ll be a nice indicator that I’m really improving myself and that I’m slowly becoming a true princess of Equestri-”

It was at this moment that Twilight’s magic finally gave out completely, and so too did the zipper lips spell upon Big Macintosh’s muzzle. With his ability to speak unfortunately returned to him, the pony quickly extinguished his burning mind by interrupting the princess, telling her that “I’m never returning that doll to you… ever.”

The room falls silent once again as Applejack helps her brother out by inserting her entire hoof into his flapping mouth, somewhat silencing him. Sweating profusely, the two farmers, along with every other pony in the room, slowly turn their heads to look at Twilight.

Twilight remains frozen where she stands, her eyes still closed and her smile still beaming. After a few moments, with her face staying in the same position that it was in, she takes a surprisingly large breath of air.

“... Don’t ask… don’t ask… don’t ask...” Twilight mutters to herself quietly, though each repetition of the words grows louder and louder until she is all but screaming them to herself.

“Don’t ask.

“Don’t ask.

“Don’t ask.

“Don’t ask.

“For the love of Celestia, pony, don’t ask.

“Don’t ask.

“It won’t end well for anypony, don’t ask.

“Don’t ask.

“Don’t ask

“Don’t…”

Twilight inhales deeply. After a moment, she slowly opens her eyes and looks at the stallion before her.

“... I’m going to regret this,” she admits right away. “But… why?”

All eyes fall on Big Mac.

Applejack tries to ram her hoof further down her brother’s throat, but Twilight’s magic gently pulls her away. Helplessly floating in the air, no longer able to mute Big Mac, the orange pony can only watch scaredly as the stallion gulps loudly and says…

“B-because you won’t want her back... because… she's been… well...”

With his already red colored cheeks turning a shade darker, Big Mac looks away.

“... slobbered on a bit...”

Silence reigns for a few moments after this was admitted.

In this silence; Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie’s faces all slowly turn a sickly shade of green as the words begin to process completely in their minds.

Applejack’s though only turns angry red.

“Y-you,” she fumes, having found her voice. “Y-you… I found that damn doll in Apple Bloom’s room you sick Fu-”

“W-what?” Mac quickly cuts his sister off…

… only to then realize what it was that his words might have suggested to her.

“Oh!” he quickly shouts. “Oh, Celestia above, no! Nope nope nope nope hay nope!! Winona! I meant that I let Winona slobber on it! I let her play and rip it once! I didn't do that. Horse hell below; I didn't do that.”

Almost instantly all the mare’s faces in the room lose their green and red colorings as Mac explained himself better.

Twilight though remained as still as a statue.

“... I... see...” she says after a time, looking down at the ground. “I see… You... indirectly... ripped and ruined my fillyhood friend… K...”

Big Macintosh begins to mutter a few things quietly about Twilight, this time mostly compliments and nice things he was unable to say earlier during the heated moment. Things about saving the world and the like.

These words were ignored as Twilight continues to stare at the ground.

And then… she began to laugh.

“... Heheheh…”

And laugh.

“Heheheh…”

And… laugh.

“Heheheh… heheheh… hahahaha!”

Everypony watches in morbid curiosity as Twilight lays flatly on the ground and begins to smack her hoof repeatedly against the crystal surface, laughing all the while. At some points it gets loud, at others soft. Sometimes they sounded like the simple set of giggles one gets when they hear a particularly juicy knock knock joke. Other times...

Other times it sounded like the maniacal laughter of a demon... though nopony dared say this fact out loud.

“W-w-w,” Pinkie Pie rambles for a bit, trying to find her own voice again. “W-w-what’s s-so funny, Twi?”

Twilight stops laughing as she disappears in a flash and reappears instantly standing up over where she just was. She smiles at the party pony widely before looking at each of her gathered friends with the same ‘cheery’ expression.

Everypony takes a nervous step away from her.

Returning her attention to a very frightened Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle happily answers, “Heh… oh… nothing… just… well…”

Everypony is instinctively drawn closer together into a shaking huddle as they slowly watch as one of Twilight’s once twitchy eyes decides that it has grown bored of the current conversation and has instead found the ceiling to be quite the entertaining thing to look at. The other stares straight ahead at its master’s friends, not having gone rogue like its twin had.

With a derped expression upon her face, Twilight continues to chuckle as she explains how “I… I just thought… that… my… inevitable descent into pure madness today... would be… just a teeny tiny bit… more…

“... Justified…

“... Oh well!”

And then Twilight exploded, transforming into a wicked mare of flame and darkness.

A pure orb of white hot fire now greeted the remaining four mares and one talkative stallion as Twilight disappears into its heated embrace. Five sets of eyes watched in horror as their friend transforms before their very eyes. In an explosion of harsh light, a changed alicorn emerges from this magical ‘cocoon’ of heat and magic, floating high above the gathered ponies upon wings of pure white plumage. Her mane was a radiating thing of the hottest embers imaginable, and her eyes were glowing pinpricks of ominous red light.

“... My power flurries through the air into the ground…” ‘Nightmare’ Twilight Sparkle's deepened voice rumbles nonsensically as she gazes inwards at her great and terrible blaze. After only a moment has passed, her laughter picks up tenfold as great balls of fire begin to satellite around her white warped form.

“Twilight!” scream Rarity Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, Applejack suddenly having vanished and Big Mac being too afraid once again to speak as he stared up at his personal grim reaper.

The alicorn of death brings her gaze downwards, staring right back at the only stallion in the room. She smiles largely, her teeth sharp and shark like. The balls of heat spin faster and faster around her being. “I’ve got a lovely bunch of fireballs…” she softly sings to herself as dark thoughts cross her mind.

“Twilight!” yells the one mare who had not called her name out already, having silently moved to a different corner of the room.

Pretty Pony Death Princess Nightmare Twilight Sparkle doesn’t even turn her head towards her friend as she passively waves a hoof behind herself. “Not now, Applejack. I'm busy killing your brother…”

The room shakes violently as the crazed magic within the equally crazed mare reaches a boil. Her long white horn becomes engulfed in red hot flames…

… And then the room shakes again as Twilight comes crashing down to the ground, her wings having been suddenly tied up due to a well aimed lasso throw.

“Who dare-” the psychotic pony once known as the town librarian begins to screech, but the words die on her lips as she suddenly finds orange hooves wrapped around herself. The alicorn sputters weakly as Applejack hugs her even harder.

The three remaining mares watch in awe as Twilight’s mane slowly begins to cool off, and as her purple colors return to her. With a nod of heads to one another, the three friends silently agree on what needs to be done.

Together, Rarity Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie join Applejack in embracing Twilight.

“Oh Twilight,” Fluttershy whimpers lowly. “W-we’re so sorry we didn’t stop you sooner…”

“Twilight,” Rarity sniffles to herself. “T-this should have never happened. W-we should have been there for you. Can you ever forgive us?”

“I-I’m sorry for calling you a meanie pants,” Pinkie Pie cries gently into Twilight’s once again purple coat. “P-p-please don’t leave us for cuckoo land. I-it’s not a nice place to go! Trust me…”

“Twilight,” coos Fluttershy.

“Twilight,” softly speaks Rarity.

“Twilight,” weakly says Pinkie.

“... Er,” awkwardly mummbles Applejack to her friends as she continues to hold on to the alicorn. “Girls? That’s… nice and all, reassuring her like that… But Twilight needs somethin’ waaayyy more important than words right now.”

Raising an eyebrow, Rarity turns her head towards where the farmer is hugging their friend on her body. “Whatever do you mea-”

The unicorn quickly halts her question though as she finishes turning her head around and sees for herself what she means.

While Fluttershy, Pinkie, and herself were all hugging their friend in the appropriate places for a pony to hug one another; the back, the barrel, the flank, etc, Applejack was instead hugging her just a tiny bit… higher than the rest of them.

To put it plainly, Applejack’s orange hooves were currently wrapped around Twilights throat.

Pushing against her windtunnel.

The restored pony princess neighs softly in her forced sleep as Applejack gently places her on the ground to rest. The remaining ponies in the room watch her do this with absolutely terrified expressions on their faces.

“... Yeah,” the younger of the two farmers admits with a shrug. “Y’all vastly misinterpreted the point of that embrace…”

“A-a-a-applejack,” Rarity shakily tries to ask. “D-d-did you just… just…”

“Choked out an alicorn princess with mah bare hooves?” Applejack quickly finishes for her neutrally. “Eeyup. Was that probably the most blasphemous thing a pony could have ever done in their life? You betcha. Am I now goin’ to horse hell? Well I’ll save y’all seats if I do, so don’t you worry your pretty little heads over it...

“Now, the big question; do I rightfully care?

“... Shoot, you girls know me. The moment Twi wakes up will be the moment I begin my new lifelong goal of apologizing to her every single day for it. I’m sure that I’m gonna feel just terrible about this tomorrow…

“Right now though?

“... Right now I can’t deny the fact that I feel strangely… empowered by it all…”

Her friends are silent.

“... I have never been more ungodly scared of mah mama’s filly of a little sister then I am right now,” states Big Macintosh plainly and honestly.

Applejack begins to chuckle.

This freezes everypony in the room.

Moving smoothly over the sleeping form of her purple friend, and weaving just as smoothly through her yellow, white, and pink friends, Applejack smiles brightly as she approaches Big Mac. With that same smile etched to her face, the younger pony simply says…

“Good. Now I don't need to fret none over havin' to do this to ya'..."

Wham!

Darkness fills Big Mac’s vision as his sister spins around on the spot and bucks him in the head, causing his consciousness to slowly and mercifully slip away from him.

Chapter 15

“... So… are you sure she ain’t a princess now?”

“Yes, kid; she’s not a princess now…”

“... You really, really sure though? Cuz I got to see that mark Twilight left behind when she exploded into one and it looked awfully similar…”

“... Okay, I’ll admit it kinda looksthe same, but it’s totally not.”

“... But… are you for sure sure?”

“Yes!”

“...”

“...”

“... But…”

Letting out a frustrated grunt, Rainbow Dash turns away from Apple Bloom and looks over to her sister for assistance on explaining the situation. The cyan pegasus soon discovers that said assistance was never to come as her eyes quickly fall upon the currently breathless orange filly; breathless due to the bonecrushing hug she was receiving from a bawling Sweetie Belle.

“D-d-don’t explode again!” the distraught unicorn wailed, her eyes red with tears. “N-never again! Not even a little bit…”

“Going… to… die…” the glomped Scootaloo tried to gasp out. “Seeing… the light… Heading into… it… happily...”

Rainbow Dash sighs again. Between returning the filly to school, explaining to a near catatonic classroom of foals that she had, in fact, not spontaneously combusted, and then explaining to Apple Bloom how this didn’t mean she was now friends with a secret alicorn princess, the speedster was starting to get anxious. She had been gone for hours; hours in which her friends were probably still dealing with a mouthy stallion. Said stallion… well Rainbow Dash was finding it hard not to think about him. At first she hated him for what he did, for going behind her back and telling ponies mean things about her. She still kinda hated him for his actions…

… But she couldn’t deny the results. She hated that fact even more. By going behind her back, foals didn’t imitate her. Nopony got hurt because of her. Because of his actions, because he risked his friendship with her, the foals of Ponyville were more risk averse today then they probably would have been otherwise.

It still hurt though, knowing that he had thought so poorly of her ability to be self conscious of others. It really hurt… but she couldn’t find herself blaming him now.

The talk with Scootaloo had actually helped, Dash found surprisingly. At first she thought that it’d be very one sided, with her saying things and the filly only listening, but the tiny pony had proven in the end to be a great help. She asked questions that made Rainbow rethink things; she provided encouragement when it was needed. Scootaloo gave her a more complete picture of things, and had even helped form an idea in Rainbow Dash’s mind; an idea she was more than willing to follow through on.

But, for it to work, a certain pony would need to be talked to.

A certain pony who was currently not here in the schoolhouse, in her own classroom.

Cheerilee was not here, and Rainbow eventually saw this as a good thing; she still needed time to organize her thoughts on the matter and to run some things by Princess Egghead first before she could really do anything with it. It was something that could wait for now, she figured. Besides, Dash was unsure if her friends still had their hooves full with Big Mac or not. It had been several hours since she talked to Twilight, sure, but any number of things could have happened in that time. Knowing how things usually went down during one of their ‘adventures’; Dash was certain that something must have happened by now. Anything from him talking to the wrong pony to a magical mishap or one of her friends snapping and turning into a creature of unimaginable darkness (Probably Rarity, Rainbow figured); Dash was certain that her friends probably needed her right now.

First though, she needed to make sure that Cheerilee’s classroom didn’t start singing about the coming of Princess Scootaloo, The Princess of Scooting, the moment she left. Rainbow felt she owed the filly that much at the very least for her help. Apple Bloom’s adamancy on the subject though was starting to get on the sky blue pegasus’ nerves. She was at the point where she was simply tuning the apple pony out; it was nothing more than white noise to her now.

White noise she only now realized had stopped playing.

Blinking, Rainbow Dash returned to the present to discover the yellow filly staring at something in the distance. Turning, the rainbow pony found the once again breathing Scootaloo and the more emotionally stable Sweetie Belle staring at the same thing. Looking forward, Dash soon discovered what it was that could render foals silent.

A solemn looking Discord is usually enough to give anypony pause…

… A determined looking Cheerilee talking to him though is enough to leave said ponies speechless.

Dash looks back at the crusaders, who in turn look to her expectantly. With a nod of her head, the elder agrees to go in the recessed children’s place, to get them their answers as the bell to return to class begins to ring out.

________________

Meanwhile, in a crystal palace far away, frightened gasps escape three mares’s lips as their fourth casually knocked out her brother with a well practised buck. This makes her track record for pacifying ponies for the day now two for two.

“Gentlecolty spawn of a lady Diamond Dog,” Applejack cursed to herself, shaking out one of her hind legs. “Forgot that the damn lug has a boulder for a skull… No clue how long that’ll hold ‘em...”

“A-a-applejack?”

The orange pony turns to Rarity, who takes a cautious step back from her recieved glare.

“E-er…” the unicorn mummbles for a bit, trying to find ground. “I-I won’t argue that Twilight didn’t need to have a little… ‘time out’... but did you really need to incapacitate your brother as well? W-we still need to cure him in order to end this horrid day once and for all…”

Narrowing her eyes harder, Applejack grunts.

“I know that, Rare... but I also know that he doesn’t need to be awake for that bath neither.” With an angry scowl, the earth pony adds “Excuse me for tryin’ to make his now ruined life just a tad easier for him to handle!”

Rarity frowns at this, regaining some of her earlier strength and composure.

“I don’t think that his life is completely ruined now, Applejack,” the fashion pony tries to explain to her clearly frazzled friend. “You heard what Twilight said; nothing he’s spoken today has been completely true or completely wrong! It was all cruel and opinionated, yes... but not truly evil. The Cakes and Twilight understood this; others will in time too, I believe.”

“Not Caramel,” Applejack retorts snappily, sneering at Rarity. “I was there! That poor stallion got absolutely wrecked, girl. I doubt he’s ever gonna recover from the lashin’ he got, let alone actually forgive Mac for it.

“That’s just one friendship ruined so far today; I’d hate to think about the ponies we didn’t get to see him talk to! If you think for even a second that this isn’t the, worst, possible, thing that could haveever happened to him….”

“Applejack, I wasn’t trying to argue this point…” Rarity attempts to reply, trying to drop the subject altogether.

“Well it sounded like you were!” the farmer quickly fires back with a growl.

Rarity swats this barb aside with a wave of her hoof. “Applejack, dear, you need to take a breather…”

“I will when you admit that I’m doin’ Mac a favor here!” the pony huffs angrily.

Her alabaster friend huffs back. “I wasn’t trying to argue this point either!”

“Ummm…” suddenly whispers Fluttershy from the other side of the room, Twilight’s passed out form draped over hers and Pinkie Pie’s backs. “W-we’re going to put Twilight in her bed now, you two… okay?”

“Then what were you tryin’ to argue, sugarcube?!” Applejack demands, ignoring Fluttershy’s once again timid voice. With some of the stress having finally been relieved, both the major instigators Twilight and Big Mac having been neutralized, the pegasus was finding it growing increasingly harder for her to raise her voice against the third instigator, Applejack, as she had in the past. How Rarity was able to, despite having just witnessed her choke out one of her friends not five minutes ago, the animal lover could only speculate.

Thus does the pegasus and the earth pony silently carry their alicorn friend deeper into the Friendship Death Castle, leaving the two remaining mares to their talk.

“Okay, Applejack?” Rarity asks firmly as she sits down, holding her front hooves out in the ‘please stop’ position. “Breathe and then listen. I wasn’t saying that what you did was wrong; Celestia knows Big Macintosh probably deserves the rest just as much as Twilight does right now. What I’m saying is that now that the end goal is within our sight, you’re allowing yourself to get just as twitchy as poor Twilight was; allowing the stress to make the decisions for you. Breathe, and then permit me to say what it was that I was trying to say to you.”

“...”

Though it takes a bit of angry grumbling Applejack eventually does what she’s told, even going as far as to give the princess breathing technique, the one she witnessed Twilight use earlier with Discord, a shot. Her hoof raises inwards, she sucks in air, then she brings the hoof outwards and exhales greatly. Relaxed and thinking straighter, no longer fueled by the adrenalin brought about from taking down a super powered, temporarily insane, demi-goddess by her lonesome, the earth pony is now able to listen properly.

“... Okay, Rare; what were you tryin’ to say to me?”

Rarity smiles softly as she places a hoof on her friend’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Applejack,” she speaks slowly. “Applejack, darling; putting Big Macintosh to sleep may have seemed like the right thing to do at the time… but how are we going to move him to a bath now? Especially considering that there is none here?”

“...”

Applejack looks back at her large, heavy brother and then at the distance between where they currently were and the entrance to the death castle.

She didn’t need fancy mathematics to calculate how much she had just done goofed.

“... Horseapples,” the blonde pony whispers under her breath, realizing her heated mistake.

The unicorn in the room simply continues to smile knowingly at her rather silly friend. “Forgot that little detail, didn’t we?”

Taking off her hat, burying her frustrated face in it, Applejack reluctantly admits with a sigh “Eeyup…”

With the power of magic, and with white hoof firmly planted under the farmer’s chin, Rarity places Applejack’s hat back atop her head and lifts her face forward, looking meaningfully into the mare’s green eyes.

“Please listen to me, dear; listen to my words. You’re about to hit your limit, Applejack” she states plainly. “You taught me how you understood me more than even I do, back during the incident that shan’t be named? Remember that? Well, I believe that the opposite is just as true; I understand your limits better than you do. All of your friends do, to an extent; we’ve been watching you slowly slipping away from us all day long. You’re not quite there yet, if your… ‘unique’ handling of the situation is any indication, but you are becoming dangerously close to going overboard into a realm of irrationalness I dread to imagine.”

Though she tries at first to return to giving her friend an angered glare for her accusations, Applejack’s ears fold against her head as she exhales regretfully

“I… I just want it to be over already…”

“Well then try not to get angry; don’t allow it to cloud your judgment like it did to our dear friend.”

“But… its gotten so hard… So much bad has happened already today; so much hurtin’...”

“Then we cure him; simple, no?”

“But… b-but I just screwed everythin’ up…”

“No, not at all! I wasn’t saying that you had! I was simply trying to set you back on the right path; to prevent it from happening again! Look; a four pony wagon should be enough to pull him, shouldn’t it?” Rarity asks the mare gently, calmly patting her hoof with her own. “All of us working together… that should be just enough to get him to my boutique at least, correct? I can assure you that one of my bathtubs should be large enough to accommodate him!”

Applejack blinks at the suggestion. “Y-you’d do that?” she asks the unicorn hopefully.

The Element of Generosity simply laughs. “Do you even need to ask?”

Applejack pauses before chuckling halfheartedly herself. “H-heh, yeah... I guess that was a stupid question, wasn’t it ...?”

Rarity’s smile becomes even more genuine for her once again level headed friend.

“I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been quite… stupid today,” Rarity admits in good cheer. “A comedy of errors, I’d say... though it would appear that somepony has neglected to bring the comedy to this little soiree of ours.”

Applejack exhales slowly and tiredly. “You can say that again, filly.”

“Well, rest assured that it is almost over.”

With a small smile finally appearing on her own lips, Applejack replies “Yeah, it is, and thank Celestia for that. Gonna take awhile for all this to heal though… if Mac’s even willin’ to let it heal, that is. The town itself… I’m not sure. It forgave me time and time again for my screw ups… but this one... I can only pray that it’ll be willin’ to give him the same chance.”

“At least he didn’t speak to us,” Rarity points out politely, hoping to alleviate things. “He at least doesn’t have that on his already heavy conscious. You were worried about that just as much as me; I could tell.”

The tired farmer suddenly grows quiet.

“... Yeah…” she admits in a tiny voice. “Y-yeah… Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t…

“Maybe…”

“...”

White forelegs are soon wrapped around Applejack’s suddenly dejected form.

“Applejack,” soothes Rarity quietly. “... There was something you wanted Mac to say to you, wasn’t there…? Something you wanted answered…”

Applejack blinks blankly. “H-how did you…?”

A light grin is all she receives from the pony next to her.

“Mare’s intuition, dear,” chimes the unicorn with the purple mane.

“... Isn’t ‘mare’s intuition’ just the hogwash fillies tell stallions to make them fear us?”

Rarity shrugs.

“A little bit of column A, bit of B… but regardless; are you going to be okay with not knowing your answer? Once we cure him, I highly doubt Big Mac is going to be a very active pony anymore. He’ll probably seclude himself somewhere and become even more of a mute unless we do something to prevent it from happening… force him to see that this isn’t the end of the world for him…

“Even if we do manage to make him see the light in the dark, I doubt he’ll ever be able to speak his heart again like he’s done today, Applejack… This may very well be your last chance to get the answers you seek…”

“...”

Applejack’s sigh was one of equal parts sadness and reluctant defeat.

“I… I-I don’t know what I want, Rare,” the farmer confides in her friend shakily, her voice wobbling in her throat as her strength slowly begins to ebb away. “I-I think I’m too gosh darn afraid to hear what he has to s-say about m-m-me. I-I’ve known him a-all mah life a-a-and always saw h-him as mah kind a-and loving b-big brother, s-s-so I...

“I…

“I-I…”

Sniff

With a weak sniffle, the dam finally breaks inside of Applejack’s heart; her earlier fear and anger replacing themselves with the deep pain she tried so very, very hard to ignore all day long. Tears begin to flow freely from the stressed mare’s green eyes, dotting the floor and Rarity’s coat in the process.

“I-I just d-don’t want things to change between us! Is that s-so much to ask?!” the strong pony weeps loudly, leaning her head closer to her friend’s in their sudden embrace. Her stetson, one of her much loved reminders of her mother, slowly slips off of the pony’s lowered cranium and unceremoniously falls to the ground as she buries her face deeply into Rarity’s white fur. “I-I don’t want to hurt him by makin’ him talk anymore, b-but if I don’t... I-I’ll never get rid of these doubts in mah head!

“I-I-I don’t want to second guess mahself whenever I see him everyday; don’t want to… t-to… t-think t-t-that… t-that…”

The only sound left in the room at this point is Applejack’s incoherent sobs and the constant swiveling of Spike’s quill against a piece of parchment. Rarity, with the earth pony firmly wrapped in her forelegs, can only sigh mourningly as she gazes at her still hypnotized little friend from across the room.

“I-I…” Applejack speaks up after a time, sniffing back her tears. “I-I-I need to cure him... I-I’ve made up mah mind…”

“Oh Applejack…” Rarity coos softly, watching from her seated position on the ground as her honest friend rises to her hooves. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“... Nope,” she admits . “But… it’s the right thing to do. I-I know it is…

“...!”

Suddenly, Applejack’s now reddened eyes grow large as something crosses her mind.

“S-shoot,” she spits with another sniff of her runny nose. “The Poison Joke cure is still in Twi’s bags!” She turns her head around, discovers that Twilight is gone, reviews her memories, and then remembers that Fluttershy and Pinkie had taken her away to her bedroom to rest. Applejack yells “Be right back, Rarity!” over her shoulder as she quickly begins to gallop off in search of the two, even leaving her hat behind in her sudden haste.

“Applejack, wait!” the fashion pony tries to cry out, returning to her hooves. “Let the girls or me get it!” she yells at her still very emotionally unstable friend. “This is what I was talking about with making rash decisions while being emotional! Y-you should stay here and watch over your brother instead! In case he wak-”

Rarity’s warning words are smothered to death over the sound of Applejack’s echoing hooves striking the crystal flooring. The white mare watches as her friend’s tail disappears around a corner at the top of the staircase and scurries away.

The room is now completely silent.

“... Drat,” Rarity says to herself, or perhaps to the discorded Spike. “In one ear and out the other... O-oh well. This castle isn’t that large. S-she’ll probably be right back in two shakes of a lamb’s tai-”

The lone mare’s ears suddenly shoot upwards as she hears a surprising noise.

A noise that sounds quite a lot like a large stallion waking up.

… Rarity doesn’t even need to turn around to know what is happening, for she already has a pretty good idea in her mind.

“O-oh come on!” she cries out loud, dancing on the tips of her hooves as she darts away from Big Mac’s now moaning form. “No no no no no! Applejack!! Applejack come back here right now!!”

Though her words echo, Rarity receives no answer.

“C-calm down, Rarity,” the fabulous pony tries to comfort herself. “Just… j-just use the mirror! The one Discord made for him! Right! J-just have him talk to that inste-”

Turning around, Rarity’s gaze falls on the small pile of broken glass that once formed a complete mirror. The sight of it quickly reminds her of how the enchanted object was destroyed earlier when Big Mac bumped into it, trying to escape Twilight’s perceived fury. In desperation, the unicorn grabs one of the shards with her blue magic and brings it forward, but sadly the reflective surface now only shows the image of the pony holding it and nothing more.

“Oh of course,” Rarity growls angrily at the offending shard. “Of course.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Rarity spies the stallion in the room slowly returning to his hooves. Panic sinks in as the unicorn begins to hyperventilate.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha,” she wheezes scaredly. “J-j-just need to knock him out again! Yes! That will solve this!” Once again darting her eyes around, Rarity tries to take stock of what is in the room with her. “Scrolls? No. Worn out stetson? Same. Hypnotized baby dragon? Too cruel for the both of them. Broken glass? Last resort only. Hooves? Can’t buck hard enough... Magic?”

Igniting her horn, the white mare rummages through her mental list of spells and tries to locate one that can be of use. After a moment of spellweaving, Rarity’s large, red fabric lined fainting couch magically appears out of the aether and lands with a loud thud against the ground. The fashionable unicorn hums to herself frantically as she looks from the couch to Big Mac and then right back again.

“Hmmm... No… no I rather like this couch too much to do something so vulgar as turn it into a blunt weapon… But desperate times… Oooooo, no! No I just can’t!

“... Ha! Idea!” She suddenly squees happily, using her magic to make the couch disappear. “Nothing is keeping me here; I’ll just head home and get his bath started for him so we can add the cure quickly! Hmph, there; problem solved!”

Quite pleased with herself, having found her solution, the happy pony begins to trot on past the still awakening stallion and head towards the exit. She is halfway there when she pauses, a thought having entered her mind.

“... W-wait…” she speaks to herself. “If… if I leave… w-who will Big Macintosh talk to?”

Shakily turning her head, the unicorn’s blue eyes fall on the only other pony now in the room… The pony who was not a pony at all, but instead a dazed and grey scaled dragon. Rarity begins to sweat as her eyes bounce back and forth between the two boys.

“D-discord said that he can’t hurt him, Rarity,” she reassures herself. “H-he can’t hurt him…

“... But… b-but how do you know he wasn’t lying?” She asks herself.

“W-well… I don’t…” She answers herself.

“So he very well c-could just start talking to him the moment you leave…” She points out to herself.

“P-possibly, self. Possibly… I-if not him, then… t-then I suppose, logically, he will just seek somepony else out… either somepony in this castle right now, or he’ll simply wander out into the streets of Ponyville…

“... And then this wild goose chase will start all over again…

“...”

With a small whimper escaping her trembling lips…

… a resigned Rarity approaches Big Macintosh all by her lonesome, head bowed low.

______________

“There we go,” quietly sings Fluttershy, setting Twilight’s sleeping body down gently in her bed and placing her star branded saddlebags off to the side. The pegasus uses her mouth to grab the end of the bed’s sheet and drape it over the alicorn’s neighing/snoring form. “Sleep tight now…”

Fluttering slowly out of the room, the pegasus doesn’t make even the slightest of sounds as she enters the hallway and closes to door behind her. Pinkie Pie waits for her here, being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Is she good?” the party pony asks as Fluttershy lands beside her. “W-will she be okay now?”

Looking at the door, the yellow mare sighs as she answers “Well, sleeperholds don’t usually last very long; ten minutes bare minimum, at least...”

Pinkie blinks. “... Fluttershy, w-why do you know tha-”

“But she was already so tired,” Fluttershy continues quickly, promptly tossing the question aside before it could fully form. Pinkie reluctantly allows it to go unanswered. “We can only hope that she’ll do the right thing and just go back to sleep if she does wake up… Maybe we should leave her a message, telling her that the situation is under control… Pinkie Pie? Um, do you happen to have…?”

Moving solely on autopilot, her good cheer tanks sadly depleted today, Pinkie Pie shoves a hoof into her mane and pulls out a piece of paper with sticky tape on it, said tape being the only reason she was able to pull it out at all. She then sticks her head into her equally poofy tail and retrieves an already ink soaked quill with her teeth, presenting it to Fluttershy along with the earlier parchment. The shy filly simply nods her head in thanks, she being too concerned about Twilight to consider Pinkie Pie’s pinkieness. She had grown quite used to it by now, after all.

Two minutes pass before Fluttershy spits out the quill and admires her mouthwork. Frowning, the pony picks up the quill again and adds the image of a smiling bunny next to her signature. There; if this didn’t convince the princess that the situation was fully under control and that she had no reason to rise and shine, Fluttershy’s complete understanding of the universe at large would need to seriously be reavaluated.

“There; I think she’ll be fine now,” the pegasus proclaims somewhat confidently. “Still though, we’re going to need to do something for her when she wakes up; suggest for her to take some time off or go visit her family… anything to take her mind off all this scary stuff...”

“... Y-yeah,” Pinkie timidly agrees after a time. “That… that sounds like a good idea, Shy…”

“...”

Fluttershy turns towards her friend, a look of concern clear on her face.

“You’re not going to suggest a party?” She asks plainly to the pink pony. “A get well soon party was something I was about to suggest myself…”

Pinkie looks away.

“I-I’m… I-I-I’m just not in the partying mood right now,” the mare admits in a mumble, refusing to meet her friend’s eyes. “It’s just been such an icky day a-and… and I’m not sure suggesting a party would be the smart thing to do right now.”

“... Maybe,” Fluttershy says in response. “... But it would certainly be the Pinkie thing to do, and that’s all that really matters in the end.”

This doesn’t have the desired effect the pegasus wanted it to have, as Pinkie’s face only cringes as a result. She still refuses to meet her friend’s warm gaze.

“A-are those two things really that interchangable?” the earth pony asks aloud, not really expecting an answer.

“What do you mean?” her friend is quick to ask, sensing the pain in the pony’s words.

“I… I’ve just been… thinking a lot today,” Pinkie admits. “Even after Mac talked to me, I’ve been thinking... about… stuff…”

“...”

Fluttershy steps closer, placing a wing on the downed pony’s back. “Do you want to talk about it, Pinkie?” she asks as she directs her down the hall, back towards the foyer.

A moment passes in silence with the two of them simply walking before Pinkie sighs, stops, and says…

“I-its’... it’s just that this whole Big Mac thing is making me think of another pony. S-seeing him making everypony sad by just talking is reminding me of somepony else… Somepony who usually never stops talking…

“Somepony… close to me…”

“...”

It doesn’t take Fluttershy long to realize what was just admitted to her. She looks away herself, biting her lip as she tries to think of what the proper words to say right now would even be.

It takes her a bit, but they eventually come to her.

“... Big Mac’s situation is reminding me of a certain pony too, Pinkie Pie… P-probably not the same pony you’re thinking of right now though...”

The normally cheery pony finally looks at her friend, meeting her gaze. He mouth hangs open slightly, not sure what to actually say in response.

“I-it…” she mumbled weakly to her friend. “I-it does?”

“... Yes,” Fluttershy confirms with an exhale. “I’ve… been thinking about… how… similar all this is to s-something that happened in the past. Something… nasty...”

Pinkie leans in closer, waiting expectantly for the pegasus’ reply…

… only for her ears to perk up when they hear the sudden sound of galloping. The pink mare turns her head towards the noise, and so too does the yellow. They both watch quietly as a frantic and hatless Applejack turns the corner, spies the two, then gallops closer. She stops before them, huffing loudly. Without saying a word to the gathered ponies, she open’s Twilight’s bedroom door and quietly enters inside. Closing the door behind her as she leaves, Applejack emerges from the chamber with the princess’ saddlebags firmly strapped to her back. She check’s their contents, finds the Poison Joke cure, breathes a sigh of relief, then places the baggie back in.

Fluttershy and Pinkie watch all this without saying a word, simply being nothing more then observing bystanders. Raising her head, Applejack looks at her friends and frowns sadly as they both cringe away. The farmer lowers her head, looking ashamed.

“... I-I’m sorry for scaring you two…” the orange earth pony says shakily, her voice strengthless, borderline pathetic. It was how she felt right now, deep in her heart, so the mare did not care how she looked or sounded. “I-I… I-I-I didn’t mean to make y’all so jumpy a-and frightened of me. But… b-b-but, just, Big Mac… I-I…”

Glomp

“J-just don’t turn into ‘Nightmare’ AJ on us… please?” Pinkie begs in a small voice as her hooves tighten around Applejack’s saddened being in a heartfelt hug. “That’s a-all I’m asking for…”

“... Heh…” the hugged pony chuckled unenthusiastically to herself. “N-no promises there, Pinkie. Don’t rightfully trust mahself right now, after what I did… It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, b-but now I’m not so sure...”

“Sometimes that’s a good thing,” Fluttershy adds, forcing herself not to shrink away as her friends’ eyes fell on her. “N-not trusting yourself, and rethinking your decisions. You think you know yourself sometimes… But … b-but then you…”

Pinkie Pie notices the shy pony’s eyes dart her way momentarily before returning to Applejack.

“... do or say something that hurts somepony close to you, and you suddenly don’t know. Maybe it’s safer to be quiet sometimes...”

“...”

Applejack sighs, wiggling out of Pinkie’s embrace.

“Shy,” the orange mare replies. “I can’t agree with that logic. If Mac had been more talkative, more able to trust me or at least his friends, then this whole mess wouldn’t have hurt him so badly. I-I understand why he never said any of this, considerin’ how poorly he thought of Twi...”

“Do you really think he saw Twilight like he did though, Applejack?” Fluttershy responds quickly to the work horse's assumption. “Do you really think he stole her doll out of spite, or do you think that was just how he saw it himself?”

The farmer opens her mouth, to say “Sure”... but the words never come. She ends up standing there, in a daze, trying to organize her thoughts on the manner.

“... No,” she finally replies after a time. “He… he’s very opinionated, I knew that way before all this, and maybe he saw her as trouble somedays, but… b-but…”

“H-he was crying a lot when he was yelling at her,” Pinkie adds helpfully.

Fluttershy smiles meekly at the two of them.

“... Twilight was right,” the shy pegasus says gently. “He’s very noble. I don’t think he trusted himself enough to share his opinions, fearing what he would actually end up saying. Some of the things he said to her probably surprised him just as much as it surprised us.

“... I’m speaking from experience, girls. We’re a lot alike… him and I.”

The other two mares simply stare at Fluttershy, watching as her smile transforms from being sad to being something close to content. Neither pony understood why.

“I believe that ponies… that everypony... has a ‘shadow’,” Fluttershy explains, speaking lightly. Forcing herself to be strong and to do what Mac had been doing all day long to others; laying her soul bare, speaking her mind unrestrained. “The shadow is the side of ourselves that we don’t want to share with others; that w-we deny even exists. It’s made up of all of our icky thoughts and feelings about ourselves and others that we all secretly hold deep inside.”

The timid mare then shivers. “... I-it’s a scary thing, girls; our shadows… They think and do nasty things whenever they’re let out, so we hide them away in the furthest corners of our minds… of our souls…”

The mare then stands firm, her shakes having subsided.

“... It’s still a part of ourselves though. A-as much as we wish it wasn’t, it’s still apart of us all. We wouldn’t be who we are i-if we weren’t constantly fighting it each and everyday. As we fight it, w-we grow...

“... T-that’s what I think, at least… What I’ve always b-believed in… Why I thought Big Mac never talked, b-because it’s why I rarely do...”

The two remaining ponies can only continue to stare at their once upon a time perceived weak friend; a view that they were just reminded, yet again, was never a truthful one to begin with.

Stepping forward, Applejack rubs her head gently against the side of Fluttershy’s own. With tears in her eyes, the yellow mare does the same.

“I’m sorry for what happened at Sugarcube Corner…” both ponies spoke at the same time. Blinking, they look at each other, chuckle lightly over the silly occurrence, then return to their pony nuzzling. “I know you are…”

Pinkie smiles warmly at the scene...

… but, suddenly, she begins to shake violently where she stands. Just as quickly as the spell of jitters started it stops. As all eyes turn to her, Pinkie’s own grow large. A shocked expression crosses her face.

“P-pinkie sense?” Applejack asks the pony scaredly, breaking off from Fluttershy.

Pinkie looks at Applejack, then quickly turns away.

“... T-t-the dark one…” the party pony whimpers quietly to her friend, her face full of concern and fear.

“... The dark one?” the orange mare parrots. “But… b-but ain’t that the one where Big Mac is hur-!!”

Green eyes shrink to pinpricks as dots are connected inside of the owner’s blond head, and as a detail the mare had foolishly overlooked in her rush quickly flouts to the surface in all it’s pristine white glory.

“Rarity!!”

Realizing her colossal mistake, too emotionally spiked to even berate herself for it, Applejack gallops away back towards the foyer at a breakneck speed. Though momentarily stunned, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy didn’t need to think twice as they soon gallop and fly after her with equal speed.

______________

“Rarity!!” Applejack calls out again as she rushes down the staircase, returning to the grand entrance hall. She spies her brother now back on his hooves, looking crestfallen, but her eyes are focused elsewhere.

Specifically on the spirled purple ponytail in the distance; the one that had just passed through the castle doors and left the Friendship Death Castle altogether.

With hoof frozen forward, having failed to resummon her friend, a wave of fresh anger blankets AJ’s mind yet again. Rounding on the spot, she death-stares her brother directly in the eyes.

“What,” she shortly demands, her fuse having been lit. “Did you do to her you blasted dunderhead?!”

“I… I actually have no idea.”

The response didn’t come from the now air deprived Big Mac, but instead from a reading Pinkie Pie. She was sitting on her hind quarters next to the still discorded Spike, his latest written scroll firmly cradled in her two forelegs. Fluttershy slowly appears in the room as well after a moment, prompting the pink mare to continue.

“It’s… mostly compliments, guys” she explains as her eyes jump across the parchment. “You’re so very kind and generous,” Pinkie reads off passively. “A beautiful heart… Started the Ponytones with noble intentions and honorably stuck to your principles, never heading down darker roads for your own goals… Excellent fashion sense in most regards… A truly inspiring individual…”

Applejack and Fluttershy simply blink at this glowing praise. Raising an eyebrow, the younger sister looks at her elder queerly. “If that’s true… why did she leave in such a gosh darn hurry?”

“... Weeellll…” Pinkie goes on, her eyes still glued to the ‘letter’. “There is a sentence here that has Spike and Tenderhoof’s names together in it, and the words ‘Should stop leading the little guy on like you do… Should sort out your own feelings on the matter before you hurt somepony,’ were mentioned… Overall it isn’t icky though,” the party pony explains plainly. “Not really go-home-crying, trigger-Pinkie-sense kind of critique, really… a-at least not in my opinio-”

Still reading the scroll intently, Pinkie Pie’s eyes suddenly widen.

“Oh!” she expels with a gasp. “Oh, wait, nope; I was wrong, guys! I was super duper wrong! Waaaayy wrong!”

Looking up, holding the parchment out, Pinkie points her other hoof at a specific line on it.

“I found the word ‘gaudy’ in here,” she explains frantically. “It was used to describe her hats! Her hats, fillies! She definitely went home to get sharp objects…”

Her eyes momentarily wander to the pile of broken glass on the floor. This causes the party pony to cringe slightly.

“... Well, more sharp objects, that is. M-maybe a sword or two? I’m pretty sure she has one in her closet for ‘medieval inspiration’... sharp ones too. Y-you know how much she likes to aim for accuracy with that stuff...”

The other two mares are silent, letting it all sink in.

“... Dagnabit!” shouts Applejack as it does, turning towards her too frightened to breathe, starting to turn blue, brother angrily. “Now we can’t go to Rarity’s to cure you! Dang it all; we’re just gonna have to go to the spa! I should have just corralled you there in the first place! I was tryin’ to avoid havin’ you talk to ponies, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore now does it?!”

Gasp

Being forced to inhale deeply, the once again breathing stallion mutters “Lifetime ban,” pathetically.

Applejack simply blinks at this.

“... Now when in the hay did you even get the chance to talk to the spa ponies today?!”

Mac blushes deeply.

“Park… s-sent them runnin’...”

“...”

Applejack sighs frustratingly.

“Do I even want to know?”

“N-nope.”

Another frustrated groan. “I see… Well horseradish! Guess we’ll just go talk to the neighbors…”

“He already insulted Vinyl’s friend,” Fluttershy points out quietly. “At Sugarcube Corner… She’s Twilight’s neighbor.”

AJ growls. “Well then we’ll talk to the other neighb-”

“That’s Pokey Pierce’s place,” Pinkie interrupts the slowly growing frantic cowfilly. “H-he was at Sugarcube Corner too, from what Rarity told us…”

“Well then the nex-”

“C-carrot Top’s,” the friend of everypony, Pinkie Pie, interrupts Applejack again. “Followed by Cloudchaser’s, followed by Bon Bon and Lyra’s, followed by Roseluck’s, f-followed by…”

The names kept coming, bringing with them then the mental images of angry ponies to Big Mac’s mind. With each one mentioned, the stallion would reply with a quick “Nope.” Applejack’s irritation kept growing with each uttered name, with each ‘Nope’. Her angry scowl grew and grew and grew until it nearly engulfed her entire face. Her ears began to twitch and so too did one of her eyes. When the names finally reached residents from near the town’s borders, the stressed filly let out a primal roar of pure frustration and anger right before…

WHAM

… bucking Big Mac right in the head, sending him into sleep’s loving embrace.

Again.

The room is once more silent as Applejack huffs heatedly to herself.

“Huff!” she wheezes forcefully. “F-FINE!” she then screams. “FREAKIN’ FINE! Can’t go to Pinkie’s, Fluttershy’s is too far away, the spa is out of the question and so is literally everypony else in town?! If that’s the darn case I guess I’ll just have to drag your sorry flank right back home and cure you there mahself!!”

Taking the stallion’s stubby tail in her mouth, Applejack begins to slowly drag the downed pony across the room. Despite her best efforts, he doesn’t budge even an inch.

“Damn it damn it damn it,” curses the angry pony. Spitting out Mac’s tail, Applejack shouts over her shoulder to her friends “Well?! Are y’all gonna help me here or not?! Somepony get a cart or somethin’! Hop to it, fillies!”

“... Applejack,” Fluttershy speaks her friend’s name sadly, her voice gaining unnoticed strength. “... What are you going to do when he wakes up again while we’re pulling him, like he’s done already?”

“BUCK HIM IN THE HEAD AGAIN!!” the mare answers fiercely, not turning to look at the pegasus.

“You’re… going to keep bucking him in the head everytime he wakes up…” the yellow mare translates plainly. Just as plainly, she inquires from her friend “Don’t you think that will hurt him though?”

“No more than he’s already hurt himself!!” the blond filly wails fanatically, still trying to drag her brother. “No more than he’s already hurt Rarity and Twilight and Pinkie and the Cakes and everypony else! Who the buck cares if he gets brain damage from it?! Maybe I’ll be doin’ him a fluffin’ favor!!!”

“...”

Though it is faint, Applejack somehow still hears the tired sigh that leaves Fluttershy’s lips over the sound of her own grunting. A sense of unease settles over her from this; a justified feeling, as suddenly...

“... Applejack…” Fluttershy says softly from behind her friend. “... look at me…”

Applejack’s joints suddenly lock up.

Silence reigns.

Pinkie Pie watches scaredly as Applejack’s knees begin to buckle and as she slowly turns around. Her eye’s watch as Applejack’s and Fluttershy’s own meet in the center of the room.

“...!!”

Applejack is taken aback. She expected to be pulled into those blue orbs, to be paralyzed under the force of The Stare once again for her actions.This doesn’t happen. Fluttershy’s eyes conveyed an emotion, but it wasn’t pure disappointment as it had been earlier that day.

Instead, they were warm and understanding.

With a flap of her wings, Fluttershy gently sends a breeze flowing forward, towards Applejack. The earth pony winces slightly at the sudden gale, but nothing comes from it... Her ears do pick up a peculiar sound though. Looking down, Applejack watches as shards of the broken mirror are pushed towards her, scraping across the ground under the pegasus’ power. Once enough of these scattered shards are brought before her, she cannot help but stare at her reflection. In the mirror’s gaze, the pony sees not herself, but a completely different mare entirely.

Her mane was dirtied and full of split ends; now more noticeable with her hat’s removal. Her face was worn out and stressed; stained with both sweat and obvious tears. Her eyes were bloodshot and twitchy; reddened and clearly bugging out. The pony was certainly a broken mess.

But, worst of all; in the mirror’s reflection, Applejack didn’t see herself at all. With weathered look on her face, mane in disarray, and uncontrollable twitchs happening all over the place; Applejack didn’t see herself...

… she saw Twilight from days long since passed. A younger and less experienced Twilight from right before she had foolishly enchanted a doll and nearly destroyed the town.

“W… w-what?” the young farmer asks weakly, looking up at her friend yet again.

“You’re not thinking straight,” Fluttershy says bluntly, her smile still warm and inviting. “You can’t keep bashing your brother in the head; you can’t do something so cruel to him.”

“B-but it’s the only option we have left!” the stressed pony argues, pleading for her friend to see.

“No… it isn’t. It’s the only option you’re letting yourself see.”

“I-I-I…” Applejack mumbles before slamming her hoof down. “W-what else is there, Shy?!” she demands. “What else?!”

Fluttershy’s smile never wavers.

“... We let him walk there by himself. It’s a valid option.”

Applejack takes a step back, horrified by the mere prospect.

“W-we can’t!” she screams, slamming her hoof down again and again. “H-h-he needs to talk! H-he would n-need to… t-t-to…”

“To talk to me.”

All jaws in the room drop at Fluttershy’s answer…

... even Spike’s.

Color suddenly returns the the dragon’s scales as he slumps to the ground into a passed out pile of scales and sweat. Whether this was from the pure shock of it all or Discord’s malfunctioning magic simply wearing off, everypony was too distracted to decide.

“W-what?!” sputters Applejack, Pinkie Pie being too stunned to even speak. “B-b-but, Shy! Y-you can’t! Y-y-you just can’t!”

Shaking her head slightly, allowing her pink mane to flow freely, Fluttershy holds her content expression together as she explains “I’m the only one who can, AJ. Please; I’m more than just a pretty… flank. Mac never spoke to me fully; he only told me what was on his mind when he trotted on past me and I ran away. He’ll have something to say to me; I’m sure he will.

“... I know he will.”

At a loss for words, Applejack shakes her own head rapidly as she tries to think of a counterargument.

“Y-y-you’re… t-t-too sensitive, Fluttershy!” the orange mare shouts, praying her friend would see reason. “He might e-eat you up and spit you right on out!”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take…

“... alone.” she adds, her eyes still full of determination. “You shouldn’t follow, Applejack; you’ll just get frustrated and make a mistake again. You should head home and start the bath for Mac instead. It takes awhile for the herbs to dissolve… And maybe you should rest yourself while you’re there. You really need it too.”

Applejack wasn’t having any of that. “B-but there’s no way h-h-he’ll have enough things to say about y-you to get you both all the way to Sweet Apple Acres!!”

Fluttershy concedes this point, but only slightly. “Well… we won’t know until I try,” she answers.

“N-n-no!!” Applejack proclaims, slamming both her front hooves against the crystal floor, cracking it. “I’ll do it i-instead! By mahself! I can’t let you s-sacrifice yourself like this!! I-it’s… mah responsibility as his si-... as his family…”

Clip clop clip clop

Closing the distance between them, Fluttershy channels Rarity’s kind heart by lifting up Applejack’s chin with her hoof. The canary pegasus' warm smile continues to burn softly.

“... Do you honestly think you can handle it any better than even me right now, Applejack?”

“... I... I-I…”

Applejack eyes look downwards, towards the shards of glass below them. Her reflection comes to mind instantly. She knows the answer to Fluttershy’s question, but her lips can’t produce the words.

Tears brim the cowfilly’s eyes as she stares at her friend’s own. “Y-you… you won’t last neither…”

“... T-that’s why I’ll be with her…”

Pinkie’s sudden words frightened both other ponies in the room. Turning their heads left and right respectively, they stare at the once quiet party pony before them.

“P-pinkie?” Fluttershy asks timidly, the first sign that her strength and resolve weren’t as sturdy as they first appeared to be. “B-but… you’ve already been talked to…”

Pinkie shakes her head, her poofy mane bouncing back and forth as she does.

“Y-yeah,” she confesses. “B-but… not as long as everypony else. I-I was one of Mac’s first… ‘victims’, you guys. M-maybe he forgot a few things?”

The pink mare’s friends are not convinced, and she clearly sees this.

“... W-well I can at least make sure Fluttershy doesn’t run off!” she adds helpfully and hopefully. “I-I’ll make sure she stays strong for the eennntttiiireee trip there! I can do that! You guys know I can do that at least!

“... Please? I-I want to help everypony somehow…”

With this last line, Fluttershy’s resolve towards not allowing Pinkie Pie to follow her on the daunting task shatters completely. She just couldn’t say no.

“... Alright, Pinkie. I’d love for you to join me.”

The smile that appeared on Pinkie Pie’s lips was not as large as the ones the Element of Laughter was used to sharing, but simply having it was more then enough for her for now.

Applejack was still not convinced.

“P-please don’t do this…” she whimpers lowly. “P-p-please don’t let Mac hurt you two… P-please don’t give him the chance...”

A hoof touches the scared mare’s shoulder.

“He won’t,” Fluttershy reassures.

“Bu-”

“He won’t,” Pinkie Pie states as well, placing her own hoof on Applejack’s other shoulder.

“But…”

“It’ll be okay.”

“B-but…”

“H-heh, head on out, cowgirl! G-get that bath all nice and steamy for that silly brother of yours already!”

“B-b-but…”

“We’ll be ready to forgive him for whatever he says, Applejack. He’s our friend too, after all, and we know he’s really a good pony. Please trust us.”

“B-b-b-but!”

“... C-cross my heart and hope to fly…”

Applejack’s watery eyes turn to Pinkie, her mouth agape.

“Stick a c-cupcake in my eye,” the pink pony finishes her most sacred of vows, placing her hoof back on the farmer’s shoulder. “I Pinkie Promise that everything will be a-okay, AJ… everything. You have my Pinkie word…

“... Please trust me… Please trust us... P-pretty please?”

For the third time, a silence fell upon the castle.

“...”

Sniff

With one final sniff of her runny nose, Applejack wraps her forelegs tightly around her friend’s neck, hugging them.

“B-be safe…” she whispers to them. “P-p-please be safe.”

Tightening her hold for a brief second longer, the farmer lets go of the two ponies, reluctantly picks up her discarded stetson from off the floor, and gallops away onto the streets of Ponyville.

The two remaining mares watch this quietly until their friend is nowhere to be seen.

“... I-is… is it mean that I thought she was about to…?” Pinkie Pie asks Fluttershy passively, letting the words hang in the air.

“Give us her… ‘special’ hug like she did with Twilight?” Fluttershy finishes for her, her cheeks bright red. “I-it kinda is… but for a second there… yeah… It’s just been that kind of icky day though...”

“... Yeah…”

A comfortable silence forms between the two ponies as they turn around and watch the resting stallion sleep. Fluttershy didn’t feel like talking, having exhausted herself confronting Applejack as she had. The mare would have loved nothing more then to rest up for the inevitable, and surely scary, ‘battle’ she was about to endure. But Pinkie’s presence prevented this. Not because she talked first and broke the silence, oh no; quite the opposite, actually.

“... You’re not like this, Pinkie,” Fluttershy says, seemingly at random.

But the pink pony knew better; she knew what Fluttershy was referring to.

“... Y-yes I am…” Pinkie chokes up, reaffirming for Fluttershy what was admitted earlier in front of Twilight’s bedroom door. “I-I do talk all the time… Just like Mac... ”

“No… you’re not like this at all,” Fluttershy states again, turning to look at the weeping pony next to her. “Mac is saying everything he held inside his heart, that he didn’t want to ever say. You don’t do that at all, Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie buries her head in her bent forelegs, wiping her sudden tears with her knees. “B-but I’m a-a-always saying the first thing on my mind… Isn’t that just the same thing…? Big Mac thinks it is… and I agreed with him when he said it… I-I thought I was okay with it, but as I kept watching him make ponies sadder and sadder...”

The pegasus next to her shakes her head fiercely, standing by her words.

She then turns to her friend with purpose, looking brave as she says “No, you’re not like this at all, Pinkie!”

With the slamming of her hoof against the ground (really more of a simply tap, but to Fluttershy it felt like slamming), the pegasus continues. “Yes Big Mac is doing that too right now, talking nonstop, but that isn’t what’s making ponies upset. They're upset because they don’t understand that we all have those same kinds of icky thoughts in our hearts. You’re not doing that at all when you talk! Not at all!”

“But I do make ponies upset!” Pinkie answers tearfully. “I-I...I made you cry before!”

A stunned expression appears on Fluttershy’s face as Pinkie points a hoof at her. Said hoof wavers after a bit before returning to the ground. Pinkie’s face soon joins it, looking downwards.

“... I’m not really good at long jokes,” the sniffling party pony confesses. “But… b-but sometimes I think funny thoughts, s-so I share them right away hoping to make ponies laugh… Sometimes they do, sometimes I get lots and l-lots of smiles…

“... Sometimes though I accidentally make fun of something that ponies don’t w-want made fun of; like their silly bald heads, or their goofy plump bellies, o-or…”

Once again, Pinkie must look away, unable to face her friend.

“... O-o-or like somepony’s fear of being on stage. S-sometimes I end up telling scared ponies that the crowd will become a s-seething angry mob and that they’ll never be a-able to return to Ponyville again, n-not thinking that it’ll be upsetting until way, way later…

“I…

“I-I…”

Sniff

“J-just… W-w-what kind of friend does that without realizing it?! W-what… what kind of friend am I even…?!”

Unable to hold it back any longer, tears begin to gush out of the pink mare’s eyes as she curls up into a ball on the floor and lays there. Fluttershy can only watch as her friend tears herself apart over something she had already forgiven her for; something that should have been water under the bridge by now, but had suddenly turned out to have been weighing heavily on the pony’s mind for far longer than she could have imagined. It was a complicated situation, but Fluttershy was in the rare position where she knew just what to do.

Pinkie Pie wasn’t the only one who admitted something back in that hallway, after all.

With a deep intake of air, steeling her nerves to the best of her abilities, the pegasus mentally prepares herself for what is about to happen; preparing herself to relive a horrible part of her past. Preparing herself to repeat; to say with all the false strength and misplaced conviction she held that day…

“I… I-I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!!”

These words echo loudly in the resulting silence. Panting heavily, droplets of tears leaving her eyes as she does, Fluttershy watches quietly as Pinkie stops her own crying and simply stares at her, eyes wide.

Smiling meekly at the party pony, Fluttershy stands up straight and tries to stop shaking.

“I…” she flounders for a moment, trying to regain her nerves. “Mac and I… a-are a lot alike, Pinkie… But while he needs Poison Joke to share the darkness in his soul… I-I just need one confidence seminar t-to turn into… a monster…

“D-do you really think I’d stay upset at you, that anypony would stay upset with somepony who dedicates her life to making others happy... when we all have a much darker side to ourselves…?”

“...”

As was the default solution to most emotional related problems today, Pinkie Pie quickly trots forward and hugs her friend.

“S-shy,” she whimpers. “R-rarity and I forgave you for that…”

Fluttershy returns the hug and the whimper with her own.”Well I-I haven’t really forgiven myself over it yet…”

“B-but you should!” Pinkie argues. “W-we don’t care if that’s how you felt about the stuff that makes us happy, that you don’t care for; we know you for the good stuff, n-not the icky. We know that the old Fluttershy is the one we love, even with all her s-silly faults...”

“...”

Pinkie receives one of the rarest sights imaginable for her words; a cocky smirk from Fluttershy.

“I think that’s just what I was trying to say to you, Pinkie Pie.”

Eyelashes flutter as Pinkie blinks, letting the words sink in.

“... Oooooooh,” is how she responds.

Fluttershy can only chuckle with her now uplifted friend.

“Urgh…”

Both mares jump out of their embrace as a stallion’s voice suddenly moans deeply. Turning, they both watch fearfully as Big Mac begins to stir once again.

“F-friends?” Pinkie asks the filly next to her weakly as she takes a step back.

“A-are you going to keep blaming yourself for something we’ll always forgive you for?” Fluttershy asks in return, taking a step back as well. “Something you can’t help?”

“W-well… depends… will you?”

“... No. I’ll try to change...”

“... Same...”

“... Friends?” Fluttershy asks Pinkie with outstretched hoof, repeating her own important question for her.

Tapping the hoof, then taking Shy’s entire foreleg into her own, Pinkie replies...

“N-now and forever, silly filly; no doubts about it… heh… hehe, well, no more doubts about it, that is!”

“... Hehehe.”

“... Hahah!”

“Hahah!”

Thus, upon three legs each, arm and arm, smiles large and beaming, the two ponies stood firm in the face of the rising Big Macintosh. So brightly did their friendship burn, so great was their determined drive…

… neither pony noticed the blue pegasus that had silently landed by their side.

Chapter 16

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5 [EDITED]

"Oh my oh my oh my oh my o-"

"Fluttershy, my dear; whatever is the matter?"

"Eep!"

Yellow feathers gently fall to the ground as Fluttershy flaps her wings in a frightened manner. The sudden appearance of her tricky friend, Discord, had caused her to launch herself into the air sloppily in an attempt to escape the potential danger. Although Discord could possibly be considered a 'potential danger' in the eyes of most, of not all, ponies, his appearance has the opposite affect on the canary colored pegasus. She instead relaxes and lowers herself back down to the ground upon realizing who it was.

"Oh... hello, Discord," she greeted, exchanging her earlier frown for a kind smile. "Did you find anything about the Everfree?"

The mixed up chimera-like creature hums in confirmation. "Indeed I have," he at first chimes, though his body soon slumps instead. "I'm afraid I didn't quite remove all those dormant plunder seeds like I thought I did, dear. One or two... of thirty of them must have been eaten at one point or another by the random murder of birds in the past and thus unintentionally spread to the far corners of Equestria...

"... if not the whole world."

This was, by no stretch of the imagination, something Fluttershy wanted to hear right now. Thus she gasps.

"O-oh my..."

Discord however waves a paw passingly at the reaction now, standing up straighter once again.

"Nothing to worry about," he tries to reassure. "Honestly! The seeds are gone, but the magic remained here in the Everfree, of this I'm certain... Well, at least it did before this last week.

"It would now appear that the magic they once contained is what's spreading throughout the town, flowing into empty pockets that the Friendship Death Castle is unintentionally creating!"

The pegasus frowns.

"Please stop calling Twilight's home a 'death castle', Discord. I don't think she likes it."

"I just call them as I see um," Discord replies with a shrug. He then smoothly teleports to Fluttershy's side, relaxing on the grass next to her with claw and paw firmly planted behind his head. He stares up at the passing clouds momentarily before drawing his attention back to his first real friend. "But enough about the eventual death of all living things in Ponyville," he began, giving the shy pony a serious expression. "What has got you all hot and bothered today, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy simply blushes.

"N-nothing," she stammers, failing to hide her now pink cheeks.

Discord's face becomes flat... Not as in dimensionally, which is a thing he can in fact do, but instead expressionless.

"Please, Fluttershy," the spirit began. "I want to try to be a good friend now, honestly! I broke your trust before and I wish, truly I do, to redeem myself." With the snap of his clawed hand, Discord disappears with a flash and reappears in a green garb. "Scout's honor," he says at first, but then he blinks and looks down at his outfit. He snaps his fingers again with no result. He does so again, only to produce yellow sparkles. On the third attempt, a sash appears and completes the costume.

"Ho hum," he muses aloud. "I keep forgetting that my magic isn't what it used to be since the princesses only returned to me half of it. Woe is me... But enough about that," he declares, allowing the cloths to disappear into a flock of bubbles. "Well, Fluttershy? Will you please share with me your problem? Please?"

Though she pauses at first, Fluttershy internally considers Discord's words.

On the one hoof, Discord was, and has been for the past week, legitimately making an afford to redeem himself in the eyes of herself and her friends. He had been nothing but helpful and, if she knew him like she thought she used to and still knew him, if she told him her problem, he would do what any good friend would do and take steps to rectify the situation.

On the other hoof, that's what Fluttershy feared the most.

"..."

Sadly thought, in the end, the yellow mare eventually comes to realize that she has no real choice in the matter. One way or another, Discord would find out.

'Better it be from me,' she attempts to reassure herself.

"... O... okay, Discord. I'll tell you."

The draconequus smiles widely.

"But," Fluttershy sharply cuts him off with a hoof, before he could get too excited. "You must understand something about friendship first. Friends stick up for each other no matter what, that's true, but that doesn't always mean fighting and sometimes it means simply listening to something and accepting it... Do you understand?"

Discord pauses for a second, but only a second. He eventually shakes his head up and down in understanding, egger to be of use.

Fluttershy smiles his enthusiasm. 'Maybe this won't be so bad?' she muses internally, tempting fate. "Good," she chimes externally. The pegasus then steels herself for these next few words.

"Okay, so; Applejack's brother, Big Macintosh, passed me by a little while ago, Discord. And, well, h-he... he said to me t-that... that..."

Five minutes later, as Fluttershy stares at the crater that used to house a mild mannered draconequues, the shy pony contemplates how colossal of a bad idea this had turned out to be.

"Oh dear..."

Chapter 10

"Mahaha!" Discord laughs aloud as he hangs upside down above the large red stallion. "There you are! Finally! I've been looking literally everywhere for you!"

The being of chaos slithers down through the air to Big Mac's side.

"So very sorry for the bumpy ride, my good pony. My magic has been on the fritz lately, you see; it sends ponies one way and me the other... Quite counterproductive! Usually I'd be enjoying such a chaotic thing but, well..."

"NISCORD!" Big Mac nazely shouts as he takes a step back, interrupting the embodiment of disharmony.

"That's my name, don't wear..." Discord begins to taunt, raising a claw to his chest proudly, but then he blinks and looks back at the farmer.

It is only now that he notices that the red tuft of fur around Big Mac's nose is, in fact, not fur, but instead blood.

Lots and lots of blood.

... Discord is quite amazed that any blood still remains inside of the pony's body.

"Nou gosh narn NAKE!" Big Macintosh continues to shout at Discord. Though his body and mind wishes for him to stop talking and simply rest, the curse placed upon his tongue compels him to keep yammering. "Nou no nood non nof na NISH! Nss nole!"

The draconequus stares at the talkative stallion for only a moment longer before a snort escapes his snout. Tears leave his eyes as the giant creature keels over backwards into a fit of the giggles.

"H-hahaha!" Discord laughs loudly, scaring away all the nearby creatures of the forest with its intensity. "G-good graces! Where on earth did I send you?!" Discord asks in good cheer, wiping a tear away from his eye. "The middle of a boxing match? Inside of a building being demolished? Rarity's bathroom?" Another set of the giggles begins to burn inside of Discord's chest, but with a quick clearing of his throat he soon extinguishes said flame. He then straightens himself out and becomes just a tad bit more serious.

"Here," the chaotic creature states raising his claw, readying to snap it. "Let me get that for you..."

Snap

In a burst of yellow magic, Big Macintosh's face and body are both soon rid of injury. The blood vanishes, and so too does his pair of black eyes...

... That's not all that vanishes though.

Discord blushes a deep shade of red, almost rivaling the farmer's coat. All the while, the red pony keeps on talking away, though he has taken notice that his voice is now a few decimals higher.

"Oops..." Discord mutters with a weak chuckle. The master of chaos lifts up his claw and prepares to snap yet again. "Er... l-let me get that for you, madam."

Snap

In another flash of light, Big Macintosh's stallionhood is quickly returned to him.

"There we go!" Discord cheers. "Good as new!"

"... two faced lying, deceiving, conniving, self-indulgent, damn snake! You..."

"... Aaaaannnddd he's still ranting," Discord says aloud, more for his own sake then Big Mac's. He floats through the air to the restored stallion's side. "Aren't you supposed to be the 'quiet' one? Well... the red quiet one, not the yellow quiet one?"

"... turned me into a blasted dog, which I won't admit I kinda enjoyed, but you're a horrible, manipulative, egota-"

Snap

"..."

Discord smiles.

"There. Much better!" He says as he throws away a TV remote, the words 'Mute' now clearly visible above Macintosh's head. "Now then... we need to talk.

"I heard what you said to my dear Fluttershy today, my good sir," Discord begins as he sits upon a tree trunk... the tree was still in one piece; he was just sitting on the tree at a ninety degree angle. "Now, I'm still a novice when it comes to this whole 'friendship' business, but I'm going to assume that what you said was bad, thus I shall respond appropriately...

"... But it seems I already have, even if it wasn't my intention..." Discord's body droops ever so slightly. "... I think you've suffered enough today, haven't you?"

Big Macintosh, though his lips still flapped soundlessly, nods his head slowly as he brings his still tear stained eyes to the ground.

Discord raises an eyebrow at this, but says nothing.

"... It was not my plan to get you injured as so. The most I would have done would have been to play a not so mean spirited prank on you and call it a day..." The spirit slithers down from the tree to stand in front of Big Mac. He looks down at him with a crestfallen face. "... I'm sorry that you got injured because of me..."

A moment of silence passes, which Discord ends with a nervous cough.

"... Well then, I guess I have no other business here," Discord awkwardly replies, rubbing a paw behind his head. "Um... do try to not insult my friend's rather generous behind again and we'll be squared. Deal?"

The stallion says nothing... which doesn't surprise the master of chaos. He snaps his claw a few times until the remote reappears, which he then presses the 'Mute' button on once again.

"... darn varmin. I'd oughta..."

"..."

Discord groans rather loudly, his sympathetic nature all together evaporating.

"Good grief," he grumbles angrily. "What does it take for a pony to accept an apology?! Look!"

With the snap of his fingers, a handheld mirror appears in Discord's paw. He thrusts it into Mac's hooves.

"I fixed your face! What more do you want from me?!"

Big Mac, still talking up a storm, angrily glares at Discord before he brings his attention to the mirror.

For the first time that day, Big Macintosh finally stops talking.

... It only lasts for a solid ten seconds, though.

When he speaks again, his words gain a sudden cutting edge.

"... You damn monster..."

Again Discord wilts as he looks towards the ground.

"I said I was sorry for whatever the hay happened to you," he replies, a little bit of his earlier anger resurfacing. "What more do you wan-"

The spirit stops his response, however, as he returns his attention to Big Macintosh... and discovers that he isn't speaking to him.

Instead he is talking to the mirror.

At his own reflection.

"You damn monster," Big Macintosh repeats to himself, glaring angrily at the red stallion in the mirror. "How many ponies did you hurt today? Huh? How many ponies did you make cry? How many friendships did you just buck up?"

"Um..." is all Discord can say as he watches the scene unfold.

The mirror begins to shake as Big Mac's foreleg wraps upon the item even harder.

"What right did you have to even think such terrible things?!" He begins to yell, his eyes watering yet again. "Huh?! What kind of self-respecting pony thinks such things about the ponies who are supposed to be his friends?! What kind of self-respecting pony does what you did to Miss Cup Cake?! Or even Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash, for that matter?!

"What right did you have to go behind your supposedly friend's back and say such nasty things about her?! Because you felt obligated?! Because you didn't want anypony to get hurt?! Nope... you did it because you were too much of a bucking coward to say it to her face! So what if Miss Dash would have never listened to you? You could have at least tried!! But you thought you could get away with it, because you're always so quiet... bah! Coward...

"You could have avoided hurting those mares too if you'd just talked to them prior about not being interested... but nope, you thought it was better to lead them on! 'Oh, I'm too shy to express mah feelings'... horseapples! That's no excuse and you bucking know it!

"A-and then you hurt the Mayor and lost Caramel as your friend a-and... and..."

The mirror begins to crack in Big Mac's 'grip'.

"... And you're too much of a coward to face the one pony who can help you... Applejack's bound to be worried sick about ya, yet you think running will solve your problem. You're an idiot, Big Macintosh. Eeyup... the most you're doing is filling that pony's head with doubts...

"Only a monster does that to his own kin; only a monster hurts family...

"... But you were always a monster, weren't you?

"You hide things from your friends and family.

"You played with mares' hearts.

"You can't say anything nice, so you choose to never say anything at all!"

The cracks along the mirror's surface are too numerous to count now. Only a single one of the stallion's light green eyes can be clearly seen in the shattered reflection.

"... You watched your Ma and Pa die, and the hurt that brought to your family...

"... yet, of the two of them... you chose to only mourn one."

The mirror gently drops out of its now slack grip, smashing to pieces on the ground.

"You're a monster, Big Macintosh. Shouldn't be a surprise to anypony but yourself."

A heavy silence fills the forest. Big Macintosh continues to mindless chatter to himself as Discord simply watches.

"... Wow," the spirit of chaos finally says after awhile. "Somepony is crawling in their skin today. Don't think I've ever met a farmer so into the emotional hoopla before but... wait."

Discord stomps over and lowers himself down to the stallions eye level. He looks intently into the pony's eyes for a moment before looking downward towards his mouth. The spirit's eyes dart back and forth between the two before he grips Mac's red furred mouth with his griffon claw and holds it in place.

Discord then inserts his tongue into Big Mac's mouth.

The stallion reacts in the very gentlemanly manner of screaming at the top of his lungs, but Discord's lips clamp tightly around Big Mac's own and muffles the noise.

After an intense few seconds, Discord removes himself from Big Mac's personal space and wipes his lips with his paw.

"Ah. I understand now."

"I-I... I-I didn't... think..." The thoroughly violated feeling stallion begins to whimpers lowly to himself.

"Oh don't flatter yourself," Discord is quick to respond with a grin. "... my poison joke afflicted stallion. I'm already taken... I just needed a taste to see what kind of 'joke' that normally delightful flower of mine was playing on you this day. Seems the answer is 'a rather nasty one', I'm afraid."

Big Mac's eyes widen.

"Y-your flower?" he asks, something vaguely sounding like hope appearing in his words. "Can... c-can you cure me?"

Discord shakes his head.

"Sorry; one of the plants used in the known cure is called Discord's bane... it doesn't do anything, but I feel morally obligated not to associate myself with the stuff."

"O-oh..."

With his paw, Discord raises up the stallion's chin. At first Big Mac winces, but after opening up one of his eyes he clearly sees that the draconequus is only smiling at him.

"I do know who can cure you though. Let's head that way now, shall we?"

Big Mac blinks.

"Y-you'll help me?"

Discord simply smiles a little bigger as he flutters backwards, landing firmly on an electric scooter that had materialized behind him. He slips on his helmet and riding goggles as he jesters for the stallion to sit behind him on the rumbling pink thing.

"But of course," the spirit says with a chuckle. "I do still owe your sister and all of her friends an act of kindness after they showed me one after I betrayed them for, bleh, Tirek... Now, come along. I don't trust my magic to take us all the way there, so I'm afraid we're going to have to go the old fashion way.

"... Or maybe the new fashion way. I forget which era I pulled this thing out of..."

"B-but," the stallion stuttered. "I... I need to talk to somepony! I-it burns my mind when I don't..."

"Oh I'm quite aware," Discord replies passingly, waving a claw. "I may have been a tiny bit tipsy off of the chocolate milk when I designed the plant, but I'm still quite versed in its many curses. Have no fear..."

With the wave of his claw, two giant ear plugs appear in Discord's ears.

"I'm always well prepared!" he finishes by shouting loudly.

"But I'm gonna run out of things to say."

"WHAT?"

"I said that I'm going to run out of things to say!"

"WHA-, one sec." Discord removes the ear plugs. "Now then... WHAT?"

"I-I don't think I have much else to say to you," Big Mac replies weakly. "There's only so many times I can tell a guy with little to no redeeming values that I think that he's a snake before I run out of ideas."

Discord pauses... then chuckles.

"Oh don't worry. I've got that covered too. It's partially why we're not going to Zecora's!

"... That and I don't want you talking to her.

"Like... at all."

____________

"Stupid freaking death castle with your stupid freaking leaching properties with your stupid freaking lack of a kitchen and your stupid... colors.

"... And stupid freaking Tirek for blowing up our stupid freaking house with all our stupid freaking stuff like my stupid freaking comic collection which I stupid freakingly saved up for for stupid freaking years... UGH!!"

Spike was not a happy dragon.

By no stretch of the imagination was he a happy dragon.

Like Twilight, he had been hard at work all week long. Spike had expected such a thing would happen once the dust had settled on their last big adventure, and especially after they found their new home...

Spike just didn't expect that their new home would be such a freaking pain in the spiked butt.

"Stupid stupid stupid," the young drake complained as he pulled his wagon full of scrolls through the entrance hallway. The scrolls were all various notes and testimonials Spike had gathered throughout the day as he made his way around town, trying to discover any other odd things happening thanks to the Friendship Castle's weird death causing properties.

Having completed his long task, Spike would have loved nothing more then to simply relax as he patiently waited for Twilight's return. He had expected her to be here when he came back, of course, but the princess's disappearance didn't hamper Spike in the slightest.

No... he was already well hampered enough for other very good reasons.

"Can't stupid freaking sleep because outside noises keep stupid freakingly echoing in here... Can't stupid freaking concentrate on anything because all the stupid freaking walls look stupid freaking delicious... Twilight won't let me have a stupid freaking taste... UGH!!

"... Any freaking thing else you want to throw at me today, Equestria?! Huh?! Any, freaking, thing, else?!"

Honk honk!!

Spike blinks as he turns towards the closed castle doors.

"... Wha-"

And then Discord smashed the outwards opening doors inwards with his scooter, sending splinters everywhere.

One of said splinters lightly touches Spike's scroll stack, causing the entire pile to explode outwards and scatter itself across the hall.

Spike only twitches an eye.

"Yeah... s-should have figured... heh."

Discord tilts his vehicle sideways, sliding to a stop on two wheels right before the stairs. While he remains on, Big Mac groggily slides off and collapses on the floor. He huffs loudly in between calling Discord names which the dragonequus promptly ignores.

"Hello there my good Spike," Discord greets in good cheer as he flutters off the scooter towards him. He pulls out his ear plugs. "Is sparkle butt here today?"

Spike, after settling on what level of angry he wished for his voice to convey, opens his lips to speak but is quickly cut off by a talon.

"No need to answer that," the spirit interrupts. "I saw her Sparkle Boom a few hours ago; I already know that she's not here."

The dragon huffs.

"Then why did you ask?" Spike asks grumpily.

Discord grins.

"No particular reason. Now, Spike... hold on a moment. Big Macintosh!"

Big Macintosh rises to his hooves. He shakes his head before craning his neck over and looking at Spike. The two of them stare at each other for a moment before a loud popping noise distracts them. They look over to Discord's discarded scooter, which has now transformed into a giant mirror.

Mac, being the closest to it, is the first to notice that the mirror isn't normal.

A normal mirror would show a red, tired, depressed looking stallion.

This one showed a yellow, happy, carefree stallion instead.

"B-breburn?" Big Mac asks confusedly.

Spike can only stare blankly. He looks over to Discord...

... who now has his 'alicorn princess' costume on.

"Spike?" Discord asks in a disturbingly accurate rendition of Twilight's voice. "Take a letter."

Author's Note

In a dark apartment room, the author can be seen at her computer. Sitting back, the young woman can only stare blankly at what is currently present on the screen.

"Did... did I just write Discord french kissing Big Mac?" she asks herself aloud, rather stunned. "I-I totally just wrote Discord french kissing Big Mac... Why did I write Discord french kissing Big Mac?!"

ManlyDerp sinks lower into her chair. Her cheeks turn a crimson color.

"... A-and why did I like it...?"

A very embarrassed author decides to sit in the corner, in order to think about what's she's done.