Another Sappy HiE Fic

Chapters

I Found It
Arrival
Seeing Color
Nature Calls
Personal Questions
Incredibly Infinite Barrage of Incalculable Curiosity
I want to fly!
Hugs are funerrific!
Chores
Shower
I Am So Sorry
Implying Implications
Date Ruined
Regrets
Cider
Regrets
Adria
Paradise

I Found It

It couldn't wait.

I had done hours of research on the subject, constructed time tables depicting canon and theoretical times that this could possibly happen. I had mapped out all the possible locations I could find, and I had evaluated all of the information I had been presented with to the fullest extent. I knew I could have been wrong, and I knew that if I was, I wasn't going to just give up. I had already missed my chance two-and-a-half years ago due to ignorance, and I wasn't waiting any longer.

There were many setbacks. The biggest impedance was my inability to drive, but what I lacked in skill, I more than made up for in support. My friends and my family had almost no idea why I would schedule a trip to one of the most boring places in the world in the most random of times. It only seemed random to them, but I knew my deadlines. All my life I had deadlines, and my constant war with time had only increased my awareness with them. I had to pull quite a few strings (by pull I mean pay, and by strings I mean good old-fashioned American dollars) to get my old friend to take me to my new residence. I affectionately referred to my friend as "Moonbutt" on occasion, before getting so far into fanficion that using such pet names was no longer funny.

I talked about the life in which I immersed myself to almost no end. My friends were no doubt annoyed to the point where they would avoid conversation with me. It's not like I minded the lack of companionship. At least I had my hobbies to keep me company. I eventually reached the peak of my entertainment rituals and calmed down about them a bit, at least in public, which is what leads me to where I am now.

I was on my way to what I called "the quantum mirror", or "the dimensional bridge", and sometimes "the subspace highway". I never used the term I was given for the portal because no real person would hear a word of it, and they certainly wouldn't have driven me more than 500 miles on a fool's errand. I told Moonbutt that I needed a ride to my new place, and that my rides would be taken care of from there. She could stay a night if she wanted, but it wasn't going to be a long trip, and if she wanted to go home immediately she could make it back before dark. I made sure to leave early just for that reason. I didn't want to leave my friend alone in an unfamiliar place when I finally decided to disappear.

I told everyone I was getting a job out of town, and in all honesty, I already had. Little did they know that the job I was offered was not one with an actual office. I could work online designing computers, programs, software, and occasionally games... or something like that, all from home. I couldn't care less what I was supposed to be doing because what I had planned didn't even involve being on Earth at all. That "quantum mirror" that I had promised to show to my friends if I ever found it, was actually a portal to another universe. Specifically, the universe in question was one that ran parallel to our own, and on the other side of the portal was Equestria, or so I hoped.

My mindless research had lead me to a definite location of where the portal was located, and when the portal would be open. I tracked the times it could have been open before, and logged a few unusual events that were tied to the magic seeping through from the other world. As it turned out, very strange things happen near doorways to other worlds.

So we rode along the highway with mild traffic due to it only being 10:00 and we couldn't have been less calm. We were blasting our music and singing along to the girliest songs we could find with the windows down and the cars around us quickly changing lanes to avoid us. Life was great, but eventually our voices were tired and we had to calm it down a bit. We rode in moderate silence for a few hours until finally the questions came.

"So what's your new job again?"

"It's still a secret, but I guess I can tell you. I'm proofing work for some eggheads in a laboratory."

"What kind of work?"

"Physics," I lied.

She made a disgusted look and pressed, "I thought you hated complicated work like that?"

"I do, unless physics can get me off of this planet."

"So where's the lab? Do you even know where we're going?"

Silence

"You have got to be kidding me, do you really not know where you're going?" She was fuming at this point, and began speeding up subconsciously.

I knew she would react like that, but I didn't want to drop the act too early without having a little fun. We had been driving for four of our estimated eight hours of travel time and I didn't want to leave us with nothing to talk about halfway through. I let off a little and chuckled, "Don't get your panties in a twist, I really was joking this time. I looked at the maps before we left, and I made sure I knew exactly what the place looked like. I even got a virtual tour of my new room! I just love the internet," I mused with the most sultry voice I could muster. It had been no secret that I was more interested in fictional lives online than my own real life. That was soon to change.

I really did see the map of where I was supposed to be going, and I made damn sure I wouldn't get lost when so pressed for time as I was. I was obsessed with this and I couldn't contain my excitement, but I also showed plenty of fear. If this didn't work, than I would be stuck with not only a boring job, but also a life that I would continue to hate, and would be forced into my escapist behaviors in and out of the privacy of my own home. I would become one of those people who never had a social life, and would go out wearing ridiculous clothing and getting pissed when people judged me for it. I knew the path I was walking, but I also knew that if I succeeded, I would be in a world without worry.

The next few hours were filled with talk about season 5 of MLP and how I thought it should have ended. I only teased a little bit that Discord should have turned again, but in the end I knew that would never happen. When we finally got to my apartment building in Muscatine, I showed Moonbutt around and asked her opinion.

"It's a shithole, why did you bring me here? I thought you hated places like this!"

"Don't worry miss priss, we're not staying here. Now it's my turn to do the driving."

I opened the old cot I brought with me and threw my duffel bag underneath. Moonbutt promptly collapsed on it before whining, "Do we have to leave? I don't even want to move."

"Yes, I have something to show you. I didn't just beg for a ride, I could have taken a taxi or a bunch of busses, though that would have been a lot more time consuming. I wanted you here for a reason. Do you remember when I asked you to read that story I kept gushing about?"

"I'll get to it, I promise!"

"Too late, you're about to live the end of it. You know how I love spoiling these things."

"What?"

"I found it."

"You found what?"

"Well technically, TwistedSpectrum found it, but I don't know how. I had to sift through a lot of crap to come to a conclusion I'm sure he made up, unless his canon is right. In that case, we're boned."

"English."

"No, Equestrian. Seriously, I told you to read that for a reason. Let's go," I demanded as I yanked her off of my makeshift bed and pulled her towards the door.

When I finally convinced her that we were in fact, going for a walk, we made our way through town until I found a clearing in the woods I was looking for. We got turned around a few times, but we needed to move around anyway after being in a car for so long. We walked along a path until we could hear running water and we then followed the sound to the banks of a large river. Further down the shore, I spotted the boat rental place that was mentioned in my favorite work of fiction all the while trying to explain the situation to my friend. She didn't want to hear any of it as I passed my credit card through the machine to unlock my vessel. I couldn't have been bothered with details at that point and was quickly on the water after much more persuasion techniques to get Moonbutt to "just play along."

I took us down the river, hoping to all that was holy that I was going in the right direction, even though I was convinced that downstream meant downstream regardless of who said it, and eventually a beautiful port city opened up overhead.

"We couldn't have just stopped here in the first place?"

"Where's your sense of adventure? Besides, you're still on the clock. No more complaints, just, " I looked for the word, and finally resigned myself to redundancy, "adventure."

*ugh* "Fine."

The rest of our trek went smoothly as I had actually studied this particular part of my map more carefully than the rest. We arrived at an old failed community college that seemed abandoned up until we showed up. We snuck around the building looking for an entrance as Moonbutt's mood finally picked up. I almost squee'd when she finally seemed to start understanding what I had been trying to explain the whole trip. As soon as she found a weakness in the fence and crawled under it, she asked, "So you actually looked up the school where it took place?"

"You could say that. There were quite a few flaws with pretty much every depiction though. For one, I'm pretty sure this was never a high school, and I'm also fairly certain that that statue was less public than they made it seem. But one thing was right: Did you notice all of the horse gear outside?"

"Yeah, was this school's mascot really a Wondercolt?"

"Hell no, but I would have voted for it if I had the chance," I blurted as we wandered around the grounds some more.

"So then what are we looking for?"

"Probably exactly what you'd expect," I continued as we stepped foot onto the actual school grounds away from the construction lot. The front of the proper school grounds were publicly visible, so we had to sneak in through the back to avoid catching too much attention. It was rush hour by then (much later than I thought it would be) and I didn't need anyone asking questions or saying they saw me around town right before I disappeared. I especially didn't want my friend getting in trouble, or suspected of my murder.

"So, Roosevelt?"

*facepalm*

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want to call it. Actually, what we're looking for is probably over there," I pointed towards a building with tinted windows and an indoor pool.

"Why would they," she paused, "never mind."

There was no easy way to sneak into a locked building, and breaking things was tasteless. Luckily, part of my research involved lock picking, and disabling security systems. Hopefully the latter wouldn't be useful here because of the age of the structure. Getting through the door was no easy matter, but it was nothing compared to navigating the structure looking for a room big enough to house a horse statue on a pedestal. The air was stale and the dust on the floors sent me sliding and actually making me fall on my ass a few times before getting my balance, and we finally came to the gym.

"Celestia."

"That's not my name."

"No. Look Wes. It's actually Celestia."

I peered in through the cracked door she held open and literally screamed at what I saw. It wasn't a cry of agony, nor fear. Pure adrenaline pumped through my veins at what I saw. Right in center court, a statue of Princess Celestia on a gaudy pedestal stood proud with her front right hoof thrust into the air in a victorious pose. It was covered in graffiti and grey from its layer of dust, and a sign above her that read: "CLASS OF '94."

"Dear Goddess, she's here," my voice cracked as I dropped to my knees in tears of joy that my mission was successful. I hadn't felt so accomplished in my entire life as here Celestia stood before me in the middle of what would now be holy ground as what was apparently the legacy of the class of 1994.

Moonbutt lifted my shivering body and attempted to steady me, only to be glomped as I lost my sanity over her shoulder. I hadn't even confirmed the time that the door would be open, but the fact that the statue's rear had a giant sun stamped on it pretty much confirmed my dream.

"Calm down, it's just a statue. If I had known you were this hard over art, I would have sent you some. I mean, I've seen better."

"Do you even know what you're saying?" My voice betrayed my serious tone as I stepped back and instantly sprinted to the stone. As I neared the pedestal, I didn't slow at all and opted to pick up speed. When I got close enough, I leapt into the side with my arms above my head in case I was wrong. I didn't want to waste any more time getting there, and I had already said my goodbyes to Earth in my own way.

Author's Note

The story that this crazy guy Wes kept trying to get his friend to read was TwistedSpectrum's
story, Five Score, Divided by Four.
This isn't a sidefic, but that story did play a big part in getting me to start writing again. If you haven't read that story yet, I completely recommend it. I can say that in my opinion, it is the best piece of fiction (not just fanfiction, but fiction in general) that I have ever laid eyes on, and TwistedSpectrum is my biggest inspiration in writing.

Arrival

I woke up lying on my side as I usually do with the morning light hitting my closed eyes as I attempted to reach for my snuggling pillow and return to sleep. When all I heard was a solid "clop" on a hard floor, and felt that there were no blankets or pillows around me, I opened my eyes and squinted at the light while my eyes adjusted. I never wanted to wake up in the morning, but this was far too uncomfortable, and I was obviously not in my own bed. I didn't even feel a bed under me at all, really.

My eyes adjusted to the light and I attempted to observe my surroundings noticing first that I had never seen so much color in my life, and the light was far brighter than I would have expected inside of any building. I couldn't see much around me due to a very obvious round, cloudy obstruction right in front of me. I tried to focus on something else only to have the obstruction follow my vision. I was still in my clothes, which meant that I probably didn't go to sleep by my own choice. If I was lying on the floor, it was likely that I had fainted or been knocked out. My ears were ringing so I assumed I had been knocked out. That would mean that the cloudy obstruction was my contacts stuck on my eyes.

I tried getting up, and failed miserably. I could feel why, but it didn't process until I tried again and felt the lack of fingers. I gasped, or shrieked. I'm not too sure what to call the noise I made when I realized what was going on. I tried again at getting to my hooves instead of my feet and was moderately successful. I could almost stand, but I was feeling a tightness around my chest and rear. I tried to shake my shorts off, which was far more difficult than it used to be, and my underwear and shirt soon followed. "No point in wearing clothes if I have fur," I mused out loud and beamed at the thought.

"I really don't want - - - " I heard a muffled sound coming from across the room.

"I don't ---- we're go- --- I know -- heard something," I heard another voice insist from behind what I could only guess was a door. The lack of vision was really taking its toll on me, so I felt around for my clothes and kicked them away from me in an unidentifiable pile of other things near what I assumed was the mirror. I was giddy with excitement that I was right about the portal, and oblivious to the fact that I wasn't followed through. I didn't think about it and I probably wouldn't have cared at that point anyway.

I heard the door open before I could try walking, so I was bound to be a sight if they had asked me to do anything.

"Identify yourself!" The first commanded.

"How did you get in here?" The second demanded.

The first voice sounded like a stallion by the depth and the second was clearly a mare. It was the second voice who had said they heard something earlier. I could tell by what I heard of their previous conversation that the stallion was either new and nervous, or just lazy and didn't feel like investigating. I was surprised that they could speak English, or maybe perplexed by how it sounded like English. Where I was from, horses couldn't make noises like that. Maybe the magical portal didn't just transform my body. Perhaps it made everything match. I shook my mane into view to get a glimpse at its color and it was just a boring brown, then I turned my head to look at the rest of my body and saw a brilliant red, close to Big Macintosh's color.

"Are you deaf?" The mare shouted, "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

My ears swiveled in her direction before my face did, and I found it just a tad more comfortable to see her with my head to the side rather than face to face. I couldn't tell if that was customary or not, so I just settled for head on.

"Sorry, I'm lost. I didn't mean to end up here," I lied. I felt something on my back move a bit as I spoke and at the very thought of having wings, I became excited and felt them fling outward almost knocking me off of my fragile balance.

"I'm not going to ask again, don't lie to me this time."

Oh, that's right. She must have thought my wings were a tell. Oops.

I tried to put them away, but I wasn't sure which muscles would do that. I tried shrugging to test if they were attached to my shoulders, but that only made my wings shrug. The whole time, I was watching myself as best I could with the cloud in my vision. I thought about taking out my lenses but decided that it was probably the worst idea at the moment. I would have to ask if another pony could do it for me. Luckily, there were rings around the clouds that I could clearly see through, and again, my eyes were flooded with color. I had never seen so much color in my life, and at first I thought it was just because this universe was cartoonish, but then I had an epiphany. If I had new hardware, maybe I could see color now too! I was partially colorblind as a human, and nearsighted too. I observed the ponies across the room through the rings above my lenses and could see two near-identical crystal guards. Both of their faces were a color that I couldn't describe if I tried. I would probably have to learn all shades of purple over again.

"Are you okay?" The mare on the right asked. It was obvious from my dodgy eye-contact and body language that there was something wrong with me. I realized that it would be a good idea to ask for help sooner rather than later, as well.

"No, I can't see anything," I started as I looked for a horn on their faces without any luck, "and I can't keep my balance. I'm actually not used to being a pony, if you can believe that."

"What do you mean?" The stallion finally chimed in.

"I came through there," I lifted a hoof to point in the direction of the portal and fell forward, ears drooping in embarrassment. After seeing that, they either understood or felt sympathy and trotted to me to offer assistance. My wings had finally drooped back down and I tried to tighten my back muscles as if I were sitting up straight as a human. That seemed to do the trick to pull them back into their tucked position.

"You came through the portal? Where are you from?"

I was so relieved to hear that I wouldn't have to explain ridiculous magic to anyone else that day. It was about then that I realized the room wasn't getting brighter as it would in the morning, which meant that it must have been the same time of day from when I left.

I quickly responded before I let my thoughts run away with me again, "Earth. I used to be human."

The stallion turned and mumbled something about the princess to his partner. She, in turn, straightened up and said in as official tone as she could muster, "Very well, we shall take you to the Princess to sort this out. Follow me," she turned and began to walk away as I tried myself to walk, and did surprisingly well. My knees weren't in a comfortable position, but I got along just fine.

As we walked along, I began to get antsy while trying to look around and gather my bearings. The pony guards were crystal ponies, so that must have meant that we were in the Crystal Empire. I didn't think the princesses were there, but I was quickly reminded that there was already a ruling princess there. How could I have forgotten about Cadance? I allowed the thought to pass as my mind returned to Earth. It wasn't something I could help. After all, I had spent 20 years there as a human, and had almost no experiences in Equestria to think of.

I wondered how the events in Equestria girls took place. I didn't think everything could be accurate, and I did study the events that had happened near the portal, but there weren't any recent ones. Did Twilight Sparkle not go to Earth? No, that couldn't be right. These ponies already knew about Earth, so somepony had to have gone there recently. Maybe the times didn't match up the same. Perhaps time passed faster on Earth than it did in Equestria. So many thoughts jumbled into one enigma in my mind until that enigma evolved into a singularity and threatened to explode until I finally caved and thought of something else.

My thoughts wandered to the Mane Six, and how much I wanted to meet them. It didn't stop there, as I thought of all of the other characters from the show that I hoped more than anything else would be real there. The guards finally led me up to massive double doors, that I wish I could have seen clearly, and asked me to wait. They went inside for a few moments and then returned with orders to take me to Canterlot.

"Why Canterlot?"

"Princess Cadence suggested that this is a matter of which Princess Celestia would have more experience, and therefore jurisdiction over. We've also been asked to take the mirror portal with us to be placed under a larger guard detail. Guess who gets to help us carry it?"

I didn't even care. In fact, I smiled and jumped at the chance to do my first useful task as another species and as an alien. It would also mean that the portal would follow me and if my friend finally decided to venture through, I would be one of the first to know. "Sure, I'll help!" I volunteered.

"Don't act like you had a choice," The stallion chuckled, "By the way, we never caught your name."

"Wes, and yours?"

"Swift Spear," the stallion responded.

"Sharp Wit," the mare added, far less rigid than before, "It's good that we get to know each other better, we have to take a train to Canterlot."

"Were you followed?" Swift Spear asked.

"I might have been. My friend saw me go through the portal, but she wasn't there when I woke up. I'm not sure if she actually came through or not."

"That could be a problem, we'll need to watch out for any other visitors."

"I don't think anyone else is coming, nobody in my world but me seemed to know or care that the portal existed, and it was in a rather private place."

We continued the conversation as they asked about my life on Earth and they educated me about the history of Equestria and some other countries, most of which I already knew because of the show and fanfiction. There weren't a lot of differences, if any, so it would be pretty easy to get along in Equestria. They asked me why I came, so I had to either make up an excuse on the spot or simply tell the truth about how awful the world was. I chose to tell them about all of the wars, broken values, crappy politics, and lack of magic, and they didn't seem to take my appearance in Equestria as an invasion. They really did have the hospitality and kindness displayed in the show, and at one point in my life story, I was even reduced to tears by their understanding and acceptance.

They told me about how they were friends and met in the academy while they were learning to become members of the royal guard. It was only recently that the Crystal Empire had been revived, so the ponies were a bit out of practice and they decided to hire some new recruits to the force because of their previous downfall. It turned out that both of my assumptions about Swift Spear were true and he was both new and somewhat lazy when it came to the particular station he was assigned the moment we met.

Carrying the mirror wasn't as much of a problem as getting it on the train, as instead of balancing it on our backs like I thought we would, it was put on a cart and I pulled. Swift Spear was a pegasus, and held his sidearm (a spear) in his wing while Sharp Wit was an earth pony and carried hers in a hoof, or mouth when necessary. When not actively holding the weapons, they were tucked into their armor near their backs, sticking out in front working as jousting swords if necessary. There wasn't a unicorn around to assist in moving the mirror with magic, so they helped me back the mirror into the train car that we were to ride.

We sat carrying on our previous conversations exchanging with each other stories about Earth and Equestrian history and the topic of entertainment came up. Equestrian and Earth technology didn't differ much in the way of advancement, as magic assisted games existed to parallel the technology-backed consoles we had on earth. Joyboys really existed there as did television, though they kept to more physical forms of entertainment for the obvious reasons. Most of their work involved being active. Unicorns were really the only ones that didn't exert a lot of physical energy to do their jobs, but earth ponies were physical by nature, being farmers, bakers, and building things, while pegasi mostly controlled the weather and unicorns handled most of the technology in that world.

Other societies existed in their world in other countries, and more races existed as the dominant creature in their world. Griffons had their own way of doing things, as did dragons. It was a lot to take in at first, but most of the things they told me were things I could have already figured out on my own. In turn, I shared with them the things I did for fun on Earth. All of my hobbies seemed to go over their heads except for saying that I watched My Little Pony and read fanfiction.

They were surprised at the fact that their lives were like a show and used as the base of 'fictional' stories, but then shockingly understood when I tried to explain that it were possible through the multiverse theory. At least they pretended to understand. As I said before, they were very nice, understanding, and just pleasant to be around.

It was dark when we finally arrived in Canterlot and nothing had come through the portal the whole way there. I was only mildly disappointed, but didn't dare let anything sour my mood as I was led to the castle to meet with Princess Celestia.

Seeing Color

It was pleasantly chilly for what I assumed was a spring night in Canterlot, made only more enjoyable when a breeze passed through my new coat. Having fur covering my body rather than hair and clothing was an unearthly experience. Instead of feeling like thousands of little insects were crawling around my body when my hairs settled, my fur stayed more in place, and seemed to be shorter in length. My fetlocks were unshorn, which was comparable to wearing oversized pants and having the bottoms flap against my ankles every now and then. The level of warmth my body seemed to retain was higher, which made me fear warmer seasons, but to my relief, my new coat of fur seemed to breathe far more than what I used to wear. I could tell that my first winter in Equestria would freeze me due to not being acclimated to weather the same way ponies that had already lived there were.

My feathers, on the other hand, were another story entirely. I could feel the tips of my wings tickle my flanks as they were forced down by the cart I was pulling, and my back felt as if it were covered by a sizeable downy quilt. The warmth was soothing at first, but as I became used to them, they seemed to only heat up more. I couldn't wait to get unhinged from the cart when we got to the castle, but I couldn't see how far that would be. I cursed my hindered vision as I attempted to guess at the distance from the station to the castle from my memory of the show without seeming like I was complaining about the long trip. I was also too afraid to ask if they could do anything about the plastic in my eyes.

When we finally arrived at the castle, I noted the sheer size of the place and almost groaned in response to having to pull the mirror even further only to have it taken over by one of the castle guards waiting for our arrival. They didn't speak, so I couldn't make out who it could be, secretly hoping that I had met a pony I recognized at once, but from what I could see (along with the fact that they used magic to pull the cart off of my back) I could tell they were a unicorn. Before I got the chance to ask for their assistance with my little problem, they teleported away.

Damn, I thought, I thought only the more advanced unicorns could do that, and I was sure that it would have taken a great deal more effort than they made it seem. I couldn't get over just how magical my trip was turning out to be. I was nudged along by a closing gate behind me and Sharp Wit called out to me.

"Are you coming?" She was far ahead of me when she asked, and I couldn't even see her in the darkness. I tried galloping to catch up. It wasn't one of my best ideas.

"Yeah, I'm on my way. Sorry, I couldn't-" *thud* "Crap!" I cried as I picked myself up from the hard concrete. I was sure to have a few scratches after that fall, and my face couldn't have been pretty from all of the abuse it had taken that day. I regained my footing, er hoofing I guess rather easily and continued at a trot as I flexed my wings to air out. I was gaining better motor control through practice and patience.

We entered the castle to be greeted by a spacious room with high a high ceiling and stained glass windows filled with businessponies, guards, and even a few griffons as they went about their normal business. I was given no looks, or at least nopony actually broke their neck to stare at me, which I expected since I knew there was nothing special about me in any case. When I was a human, I was casual enough about my appearance to not attract any attention, and since I was a pony, there couldn't have been anything to catch anyone's cartoonishly enormous eyes. I didn't feel like I stood out at all, and that feeling hit me hard in my core.

I had felt like I belonged. I didn't feel like an outcast like I did in middle school, and I didn't feel like an object to be oggled as a human out-of-place in a world with quadrupedal creatures as the dominant species. I realized too late that having dinner plate-sized eyes meant larger tear ducts that could output more moisture than the surface tension of my massive orbs could hold. A tear slipped down my face, but nopony seemed to notice at first. I stopped for a moment carefully moving a hoof to my face in hopes of drying the moisture. Instead I only made a mess out of my previously unmatted facial fur.

Why am I so emotional right now? My unvoiced thought was answered by a sudden pull from my abdominal muscles. I was hungry, and when I was hungry, I got upset. I was never sure why it happened, but I tried to conceal it, trying to remember the last time I ate. It was then that my stomach launched an all-out attack reminding me not only when I ate, but what the last thing I ate was. I dropped to my haunches and lurched forward letting my mouth fall open and attempting to hold back vomit. Ponies probably shouldn't eat hamburgers and french fries from fast food places, regardless of whether or not they could process meat. I could tell it was going to be a long night of nausea.

My escorts had taken notice of my stopping and waited for me to catch up before questioning, "What was that all about?" Swift asked.

"I'm hungry, and my last meal wasn't very pleasant. I don't suppose there's a kitchen around here?" I inquired.

"It's not open at this hour. Would something from outside help?" Sharp Wit asked just as a pony passed with something delightful smelling in between her teeth drew me to follow. It could have been just a coincidence that she was headed down the hallway to the throne room for a royal audience, but then I realized that I recognized the heavenly odor. Unlike my sight, my sense of smell hadn't changed quite so drastically. The sensitivity was increased, but I was still able to recognize the smell of grass, flowers, and food. It was strange that some scents had become far more appealing, but a rose probably shouldn't be eaten if flowers held the same meaning and value between Earth and Equestria. My escort party let out an audible sigh as they followed the rose bearer and me to our original destination.

I figured my stomach could wait after seeing the unspoken gesture of the rose mare. I wasn't sure, but I thought I had seen her colors in Ponyville before, and her aroma of flowers only solidified my theory. From what I could tell, Roseluck was carrying a rose to present to the princess. I quickly suppressed all 'd'aww's' and 'squee's' as she lead the way down a corridor which opened up into a lobby slightly smaller than the first absolutely filled with chattering ponies. I was humbled by the sight and once again brought to my haunches if not for the sheer amount of ponies with problems, than for the fact that the end of the line started mere inches before me.

We waited patiently, with the guards and I making minimal conversation regarding the changing of duties from one princess to another after sundown and how blessed I was that Princess Luna had returned to handle the affairs that Princess Celestia quite simply didn't have time for. My excitement had not died down at all by that revelation, but instead just shifted from being giddy about meeting Princess Celestia to having the same feeling about meeting Princess Luna. The crowd dwindled down as the night progressed, as did my mood as I had become weaker, more fatigued, and bored.

Eventually my turn came as I was the last in the lobby along with the rose mare, who flatly offered to let me go first so that I would not have to wait another day for an audience. I could have easily just told her that I wasn't there specifically to see Princess Luna, but the thought never came to mind as I "looked" her in the eye and told her that there would be plenty of time for both of us, even though it was dangerously close to sunrise. It was impressive how long I had actually managed to wait for anything in a lobby full of noise and chaos, but I knew enough about holding onto a crush, and was still patient enough to put another's feelings in front of my own convenience. I was hoping I was off to a good start as an Equestrian citizen, even though I hadn't officially become a citizen yet, and was unaware such a process or label even existed. Perhaps subject would have been a better term to describe my status.

The rose mare met with Princess Luna in the hallway as the night alicorn seemed to be on her way to wherever her station for lowering the moon seemed to be, and I had to look away to prevent myself from being stricken with feelings.

"Can I help you?" A calming, yet authoritative voice sang out.

"It's alright, if you're busy," I began, "I only just got here, I can wait."

"Nonsense, what brought you here?" I finally stood and turned my head to find myself nose-to-nose with a midnight blue figure wearing a playful grin. I suspected her of psychic powers as she refused to give any distance and I felt my face flooded with heat as my back grew colder. Oops.

"Uhm, I uh... I came here from a mirror. Er, no, I'm a human... well not now I suppose, but I used to be -" I lost my train of thought as she finally gave me some breathing room.

"I've been expecting you, Wes," my blood ran cold and my back (or wings, I wasn't sure at that point) seemed to tighten at hearing her speak my name. I was surprised by her lack of the royal "we" and having an unfamiliar voice, but quickly dismissed it due to the fact that in reality, actors usually weren't the same person, or in this case pony, as the character they played. "We were informed that you came from a place called Earth, through the portal, yes?"

I briefly considered playing around and saying something like 'what portal?' but didn't think my usual idea of humor would go over well here. "Yes," I nodded.

"Very well. Why did you come here? Do you require our assistance with an outbreak of magical creatures? Has Sunset Shimmer turned again, perchance? I sincerely hope she hasn't abandoned herself once more. Sister would be so distressed."

"Nothing like that. I actually came to live here."

"Here? You wish to live here?" She raised a hoof to point back down at the floor.

"No, not here specifically," I chortled, "I mean that the conditions of my own home have become..." I was at a loss for words. I couldn't just lie and say that I was unable to continue living on Earth. I could have easily gotten along, though my life would have been far less enjoyable. "What I mean is that I would much rather live among you ponies who are vastly more peaceful than the humans from where I come," I stammered out. I was almost impressed with my fancy-talk, but I hadn't said much anyway.

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

"It's a long story, and I don't know if I can explain it before you have to lower the moon." I was afraid of how ridiculous I may have sounded suggesting that she actually raised the moon, but in the bottom of my heart, I knew it was true. I was going to have to move past my earthly shame and understand that the things of fantasy could become real in that magical world.

"We shall speak of this on our way then. Come, this way."

We continued in the opposite direction through the lobby and down the previous corridor. Instead of returning to the larger lobby near the entrance, she led us through an adjoining hallway and into a room with an enormous bed, and an opening to a rounded balcony with a telescope. On the way I tried explaining all of the troubles of Earth as she tried assuring me that the inhabitants of their world suffered similar problems, though admittedly less frequently. She was equally as understanding as my escort was on the train, but still reluctant to just accept that those were the only reasons I would be inclined to come. She also was suspicious of how I knew of the portal.

At that point, I spilled my guts explaining everything about the television show, the movies, the fan works and communtiy, until she was taken aback by the sheer amount of knowledge I had on their world. I told her finally that what was special about Equestria that just couldn't be found on Earth were the personalities from the show, and the values that they all seemed to share. I explained that it was quite a feat that even a princess would have gone to such lengths to fit in just for friendship.

"Back home, all anyone can ever do is try to get ahead in the world, selfishly doing things for themselves. I don't even blame them. We're all forced from birth to see not only the desire, but the need to take before what we have is taken from us. We are taught to percieve and understand greed and avarice. Most of the humans only see darkness in the world too, and when we tune into our news, we only see war and violence. Here is different. There are evil creatures here and there, but for the most part, they aren't really evil. They just live their lives and do what is necessary to survive. I've seen how you ponies react to monsters. I've seen the kindness and tolerance you show to carnivores who would otherwise try to eat you, and I know you understand how that makes me feel. I'm in love with your societies and I want to spend the rest of my life here. Please don't make me go back," I pleaded.

"So you can not change this world in which you live?"

"Many try, and great strides are made. Sadly, like many others, I have taken a coward's way out," I lowered my head and let my tears run freely, "I just thought that here I could do more. I could never be motivated by negativity, and my situation would only get worse the longer I stayed. I promise you, Princess, that this is the only future I could have seen for myself." Surprisingly throughout the entire exchange, I hadn't once lied. I spoke my true feelings and she seemed to be understanding, only questioning my actions to remove doubt and regret from my mind. By then we were in what appeared to be her bedroom, and she gestured for me to follow as she stood out on her balcony. My escort had waited at the door, now taking up their post as Luna's guard temorarily.

"So you are sure this is where you belong? Is there anything I could do to convince you otherwise?"

"You could try, but I would remind you that Equestira is my personal version of Heaven."

"I understand," she nodded, then shifted her view skyward, "I suppose now I won't have to feel guilty showing you this. Do you enjoy my sky? I hear the cosmos are not controlled by magic where you used to live as they are here. Is that correct?"

"Yes, and I would actually love to see your work, but there's sort of something in the way," I almost whispered the end as I noticed that she could help me. Horn.

"Hm?" She has a horn. She knows magic. She even has experience.

"Uhm, could you help me with something?"

"Anything. I'm happy to assist my subjects," She chirped.

"Great, can you look at my eyes? I have plastic stuck in them."

Without question she returned her gaze to my face and studied my eyes for a moment, then lit her horn and dragged my lenses gently to the corners of my eyes before removing them altogether. For the first time in my life, I could see in crystal clarity and the vivid colors of the sky exploded outward as they framed the most beautiful face I had ever seen before. I first saw Luna's unparalleled teal eyes, and then my visual field expanded to cover her dark blue face, a color I was previously unable to see in low light. Next came her horn, which appeared felt-textured, and then her ears and mane. I could see a galaxy itself in her flowing cosmic mane. It seemed that a whole universe was contained within the cascade and each star, cluster, and nebula seemed to move independently of the containment field itself. It was very unlike the show had depicted, and I was floored by just how much detail I could see. I peered further out, though my sight was obstructed by something new this time. Thankfully, the new obstruction fell from my eyelids as I blinked and stremed down my cheeks. This process continued for a few moments as I observed the heavens constructed in a similar manner of Luna's cosmic mane. I could see several nebulae, exotic constellations, and even a few galaxies in the distance. The heavens never seemed nearly as close as they were visible at that point, and I couldn't stop my tears as the first thing I had seen in full clarity as the universe was meant to be seen, had been one of my favorite scenes.

Princess Luna seemed to feel my emotion as well and took my tears as a compliment. She gave an excited grin as she was ready to show off once more, igniting her horn as she looked toward the full harvest moon above. I watched as an invisible field had carefully and slowly lowered the moon into its resting position beyond the horizon to be replaced very soon by a rising sun. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a white alicorn stepping onto a balcony and glancing in our direction before addressing the scene before her.

"Princess, this is literally the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. I've never seen the celestial bodies so close to me. Do you really control all of them?"

"Do not underestimate an alicorn's grasp on the cosmos. My sister can control the path of a star, why would I not be able to control them as well?"

"They're so much further away, and there are so many of them," I responded in disbelief.

"Their distance and position is only an illusion I create to those who would enjoy them. I suspect my sister kept the night sky the way you would recognize all those years I was away. She never shared the fondness I had for the evening lights. While it's true, I don't actually control the stars themselves, I can make them appear closer and brighter than usual."

I knew she wasn't lying to me, because I knew of the lensing effect the atmosphere had. I was still floored by the fact that she could make the night sky so beautiful.

"Unlike my sister's lack of interest for my duty, I still take in the sunrise every morning. It is one of my favorite sights to witness. I trust you feel the same?"

"Actually, I usually enjoy sleeping through it. The rare chances I get to see the sunrise have been some of my favorite experiences on Earth, though. I really do look forward to seeing one now that my vision has improved." She probably assumed I meant something about my lenses, or was too tired to notice what I had said, as I was too tired to pay mind to my spoken words either, so nothing came of my comment as we watched Celestia ignite her horn and engulf the horizon in a fiery golden field.

What followed was an explosion of colors that covered the full visible spectrum, even covering colors and shades that I had previously seen differently. My mind was thrown off a bit from not recognizing what I could see instantly, and so it mainly turned into a trippy dreamscape similar to what I assumed an LSD trip would look. It was the second most beautiful sight I had seen though, so when it was finally over and the sun peaked over the horizon, Princess Luna turned back to address me, "Shall we get started on your living arrangements?"

Author's Note

The rose mare mentioned in this chapter was a reference to "A Rose For Luna" by Ocalhun, here's a link to the story, http://www.fimfiction.net/story/196796/a-rose-for-luna
and a link to Ocalhun's user page. http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ocalhoun

You should check it out. That was actually the story that inspired me to start writing this fic so I could insert a scene featuring it. I already had a plan for it down before that, but didn't have the motivation to finish what I had.

Nature Calls

Realization had struck me like a ton of rubble coming down around me on all sides. I hadn't thought about it since I had gotten there, and was quite frankly shocked that I hadn't had to think about it all the way up until that very moment. My escort hadn't mentioned anything about the matter and neither did anypony in the lobby awaiting a royal audience. I saw no signs, not that I would have been able to read them anyway, and I was blissfully ignorant of a very important matter that I knew I should have asked about before it became as pressing as it had just become. Eyes wide, wings at attention, and fur all over standing on end, I swallowed hard and looked straight at the princess, all pretenses and manners forgotten in the heat of the moment.

In the most serious voice I could muster, with utmost urgency, I demanded, "Where's the bathroom?" I had hoped above all things that they at least had indoor plumbing. Many scents filled my new, more sensitive nostrils, but horse body odor was not among them. I internally sighed in relief, but was still skeptical on the outside.

Princess Luna had sensed my urgency, thank Celestia she did, and made a move towards the door. "Umbra, could you please show this newcomer to the restroom?" She asked with a hint of a grin appearing on the corner of her muzzle.

I stood back upright and attempted to return my wings to my sides with a bit of success, then bowed, "Excuse me please," I requested before darting past Luna and out of the room toward who I assumed was Umbra.

I was greeted in the hallway by a grey stallion wearing armor of several shades of purple and blue and a crested helmet. His ears were pointed at the top with scruffy tufts of fur sticking out at the top, and his wings were leathery and lacked feathers. At first I thought his crest was just what batponies had in place of a mane, but upon closer inspection I could see that the fin-like crest was indeed attached to the helmet itself. His tail was cropped and frayed at the end, and matched the armor having two dark shades of purple. His irises were a beautiful shade of yellowish-orange, a color I had never seen before, and his pupils were long vertical slits. The size of his eyes was relatively the same as all of the other ponies I had met, which allowed more light to reflect their intimidating glow. I would have pissed myself if I hadn't been so mesmerized by the sheer beauty I could see before me. It was almost as if these ponies were all works of art. I giggled to myself internally at the thought, but managed to keep my composure while the stallion gave me a questioning look.

"Umbra?"

"Follow me," his stern gaze never faltered as he turned and gave a quiet sigh before starting down the hallway.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I caught up.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. I'm just a little tired, that's all. It's been a long night, as I'm sure you can see."

"Sorry I have to keep you up. I would offer to come back later, but I don't really know where to go. I don't have a place to stay."

"So I gather. I heard of your arrival, and I must say that I'm a bit disappointed. I expected a human."

"Oh, that. Who told you that a human came through the portal?"

"Her Majesty, Princess Luna told me of your arrival. However she seemed more excited about meeting another species than I. I just wanted to know what a human looked like."

"Actually, I'm curious too."

"Not this again," he grumbled in an almost inaudible tone before perking up, "so you noticed?"

"You have some of the coolest features I've ever seen. Where I come from, ponies don't even have wings, horns, or such vivid colors as they do here. It's stunning to see a pony like you. Were you born like that?"

"No, I was once a unicorn. I lost my ability to perform magic when I was transformed," he reluctantly stated.

"What happened?"

"Becoming a batpony is not like vampirism, as some seem to think. It's mainly an aesthetic choice. Though I was unaware how much I would miss my magic once it was gone."

"Are you saying the entire lunar guard are batponies by choice? Don't get me wrong, it's a great look, but giving up magic seems a bit extreme if you ask me."

"You know, one would think that royalty would demand more bathrooms in a castle to make these trips just a bit more convenient. It's hard to believe we're only halfway there."

I agreed with him about the bathroom part. I like having the comfort of knowing that nobody else would occupy the room when I got to it, but I knew that's not what he meant. I felt guilty, so I attempted to recover, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I guess you did gain something though, right?"

He smiled for the first time I saw him, and he seemed to look past me while he formed his response. "There was a time when I would have done anything to fly. I wanted to stand on clouds, and feel the wind in my mane. I had friends who were pegasi and the extra limbs just seemed to draw me in. Of course, I avoided staring, but I always wanted wings of my own. Having magical wings and standing on clouds just wasn't the same as actually experiencing flight," he mused, looking somewhere far past the confines of that world before returning to meet my eyes. "There are other advantages too. In exchange for giving up my previous abilities, I have gained a longer lifespan, and I grew stronger and more dexterous. My eyesight became much sharper, and I can also see in the dark. And as I mentioned before, there's the aesthetic part as well."

"So wait, you get all those benefits just from being a different race? That sounds unfair."

"Believe me, it's not. Think of it this way, if a unicorn like me were to transform, he or she would gain flight, improved vision, and a longer life, while simultaneously giving up a more tangible form of magic. If a pegasus were to turn, they would gain night vision, though some pegasi I know already have that ability, longer life, and increased intellect, while giving up the warmth that feathers previously brought. Not much changes for a pegasus in that case. Earth ponies seem to gain the most, but in reality, the tradeoff is about equal. They gain increased intellect, sharper senses, and flight, and keep their initial long life while giving up their strength. Never underestimate an Earth pony's kick."

"So each race really does have a special ability that makes them more or less equal to the others?"

"Yes, but that type of conversation is usually frowned upon. Personally, I believe that way, but others have their own beliefs which I choose to politely ignore."

Umbra seemed like a gentleman. I could hear that his accent was slightly different from what I had been hearing since I came through the portal. Crystal ponies and Canterlot ponies seemed to prefer using a tone of sophistication, and Princess Luna had demonstrated her unusual accent while maintaining a casual tone and using modern language effortlessly. For a being older than one thousand years, I expected her to be able to keep up with language trends fairly easily, along with my assumption that Celestia hadn't changed the rules much. Luna had a very pleasant voice, soft enough to be welcoming, but assertive enough to fit her royal position. Umbra, on the other hand seemed to have no distinction to his voice, and spoke very much the same way I did. It almost caught me off guard to hear him speak, but it was also welcoming to hear a familiar voice.

"How did you become a batpony?"

"Unfortunately, that will have to be a discussion for another day. Again, things of the sort are not the kind of conversations ponies have in public," he gracefully dismissed as we arrived at a room without a door. I looked around for another like it, hoping not to accidentally stumble into the mare's room, but to no avail. There weren't any signs nearby indicating that this was a restroom. I was confused at first, but slowly entered to find out why there weren't any signs. The entrance was a small corridor like most public restrooms, but on the inside were seven large stalls lining the far corner. On the nearby wall hung a long mirror just above chest height for the average pony and several faucets with much larger basins than those found on earth, and they rested on the floor. They looked like the long basins you can find in some restrooms, and just like those, every faucet had lever-shaped knobs rather than the Earth-standard round. The room was empty, save for myself (probably because the sun had literally just risen and there were likely no visitors because everypony would be waking up at that time) and so when I stepped further into the room, the clip-clopping of my hooves on the marble floor echoed and rang loudly in my ears, breaking the silence. I could hear a muffled snicker from outside, and instead of going off, I simply smiled knowingly at how funny I was probably acting. I knew that if the situation were reversed, I would probably react the same way he was.

Inside the stalls, which were large enough to accommodate a whole pony comfortably, which is more than one can say about Earth's public restrooms, the toilets were the familiar oval shape, but once again, embedded in the floor. There was no bath tissue, a matter which I dismissed a bit too quickly for my subconscious mind to be comfortable with. I turned around and noticed that the door and walls were all resting on the floor rather than being elevated, and the latch to hold the door shut was much larger and curved in on two sides to allow a hoof to push it back and forth. I tested the latch by doing just that a few times before realizing that I probably looked incredibly silly, and finally just did my business. I washed my hooves using one of the floor sinks, and noticed that I could have easily washed all four simultaneously, so I proceeded to step into the basin completely and plod around with my hooves before dispensing soap into the water (I used only one hoof on account of not wanting to sit down in the warm puddle of water that had filled the sink) and continued swishing my hooves around, careful to keep my balance, before letting the water drain, rinsing, and finally exiting the sink and looking around for a towel dispenser.

"Shit!"

"Are you okay in there?" Umbra poked his head in to check on me, seeing that I had soaked the floor with all of my splashing and almost slipping upon exit.

"No, where are the towels? I'm a mess!"

"Uhm...," he gave me the same questioning look before, without raising his eyebrow, which I realized was not actually animated, but instead painted on his helmet, and tilted his head toward the sink. I looked back to where I had just exited and noticed the space between the basins were a different texture than the marble floor I had just soaked.

"Oh," I deadpanned as I stepped onto the mat, pressing my hooves down one at a time and lifting them to dab them dry. When I realized I wasn't getting very far, I instinctually lowered my front and dragged my fetlocks against the padding, effectively drying myself off. "Thanks," I said as I grinned sheepishly and attempted to flutter over, trying out my wings. I didn't even leave the ground, but the breeze seemed to dry the water I had let out moments ago. I shrugged off my display of idiocy and exited the restroom, hoping that my next time wouldn't be so ridiculous. We took an alternate route back to Luna's quarters, still continuing our casual chat.

"How did you know about the portal?"

"I saw it in a movie once."

"What kind of a movie was that?"

"The best kind, I'll have to show you sometime if we see each other again," I snickered, grinning devilishly.

We continued to walk in silence for a moment before Umbra's unsatisfied curiosity resurfaced.

"So how did you find it?"

"I had to study a little, but basically Twilight's arrival in our world stirred up a bit of drama. It took a little bit of work to find, but the portal also seems to give off a magical aura that affects people who live near it."

"How did you know what would be on the other side?"

"I didn't. There were a lot of hints as to what I would find, but truthfully, I was still in the dark until the very moment I arrived."

"So you just went through it anyway?"

I thought for a moment about what exactly was running through my mind as I was sprinting towards the statue back on Earth. It never occurred to me that I would end up somewhere other than Equestria. The Celestia statue should have been a dead giveaway, but what if the portal had been sealed like in the story? And what if I had been sent somewhere else instead? My train of thought continued as I wondered how I actually passed through the portal. I didn't even remember my experience on Earth as well as I would have my other memories. They seemed to be fading, to be replaced by my new life. I couldn't tell if it was because I didn't want to think about them or if it was a result of the portals magic, but I also couldn't help but notice that my senses were so much sharper that my memories played back like grainy videocassettes. I may as well have been someone else experiencing a human life vicariously through old home videos. I thought of my friends, and thankfully those memories were clear. My memories of feelings were dubious enough to not be expressible through my other senses, so they were spot on.

"Yes, I suppose I probably should have at least made sure the portal wasn't closed first. I could have poked my head through first, though I doubt that's how it would have worked. Wormholes have a tendency to deconstruct matter before sending it, and reconstructing it only in whole pieces. Don't ask why I think that, it just seems natural."

"Okay, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that bit."

"You know, I was unconscious when I got here. Maybe the mirror wasn't a wormhole at all. Maybe it was actually a quantum mirror. Like, imagine a mirror reflecting an image, only in this case, it reflected whole objects, or alternatively just transferred them. So a simple touch would have sent me through," I thought out loud, "I guess I know what knocked me out then."

More awkward silence followed.

"Sorry," I said, hoping to get my new friend to speak to me again.

"It's okay, I just don't really know much about that kind of magic," he started. "So, why did you want to come here in the first place?"

"I had a lot of reasons, but I don't really have to hold on to them anymore. I mean, you can send me back if you want, but I wouldn't give these up for anything," I flapped my wings to demonstrate my point.

"So you couldn't fly before?"

"Hell no, my species couldn't to crap. We didn't wield magic, or have super strength or wings. We couldn't turn invisible or walk through walls, but then again that kind of thing is normal for us. We wouldn't expect that kind of behavior from any Earthly creature, except birds of course. They can fly."

"I see. But really, why did you want to come here so much? Is it really so bad where you were?"

"Not exactly. It was bad for me, and many others, but it wasn't all bad. There were a lot of good things in my world, but they just weren't good enough to keep me hanging around. I'm normally only mildly adventurous, but passing up an opportunity to meet my heroes from another universe would be downright insanity."

"Heroes?"

"The mares from ponyville taught me how nice the world here is. Since I've arrived, I've been treated like a king would be treated in my own home. Even you, who I'm assuming should be strict and uptight, are talking to me like I'm just one of you. You're making me feel more welcome by the second. I bet I could hug you without warning and you wouldn't react anywhere close to how a human would."

"What?" he blushed. I glomped.

"Stop! What are you doing?" He asked politely rather than demanding, but still brought up a foreleg to my own and just rested it there for a moment. I let off and began walking again.

"You won't understand, but the fact that you didn't hit me or push me off means a great deal to me. Sorry for my sudden display of affection. I haven't had a lot of it recently," I mumbled out while waiting for him to catch up. He was still blushing, but quickly shook it off.

"So I take it that you don't normally show affection where you're from?"

"Not in public. It's only okay if you're romantically connected with the person, and I can't say that I've had a lot of romance in my life."

"Really?"

"The way I show affection is slightly different from others. So are my romantic interests."

"Do you mean that you're into..." he didn't seem to want to continue.

"No, I was actually attracted to human girls, but only physically. Most personalities were just better friends than they would be as a significant other. I also liked being single myself. I actually have a perfect example if you know a certain mare."

"Who?"

"Have you heard of Pinkie Pie?"

"Is she the baker from Sugarcube Corner? She's pink, and she has three balloons as a cutiemark."

"Exactly."

"I don't think I know her well enough to understand, but go on."

"Well, you kind of just proved it. You don't seem to be from Ponyville, and yet you already know everypony's best friend. She knows everypony too, and I'm willing to bet that she remembers you perfectly. She was friendly, wasn't she?"

"I guess so, but -"

"You don't know her well enough, but that's the point. Most people from Earth only need to know someone for a few minutes to determine whether or not they want to be romantically involved with them. The thought puts me down, but I've been guilty of it before. The point is that you would really only think of her as a friend. You probably don't have any dirty thoughts about her at least, and even if you did, I could probably also bet that you wouldn't dream of acting on them, right?"

"Well, the same can't be said for everypony, but you're right about me. I didn't really think much of her."

"That's what it's like for me with all girls. Most of them are just my friends, and even if I think about them otherwise from time to time, I just don't want it. I could easily imagine having feelings for some other mares, and even some fictional characters, though with the fact that the mirror actually brought me here, my perspective has changed drastically on that matter, but I still haven't met anyone in real life recently that I could have feelings for."

"So you avoid romance in your life knowing that you couldn't get physical comfort any other way?"

"No, I avoided the world altogether. I'm here now, and the first chance I get, I'm going to hug Pinkie Pie."

"I guess I can see where you're coming from, but it still sounds really strange to me."

Our conversation was cut short as we passed a courtyard full of beautiful flowers and the sweetest scent wafted through the hall. I drifted off course into the small garden and inhaled sharply toward the ground. I was instantly intoxicated and my breath was shaky as I let out the air. My breathing had become very audible as I walked further toward a patch of blue flowers. My eyes and mouth watered as I approached, and I let my tongue fall out of my mouth.

"Are you hungry?"

"Oh goddess, yes. I haven't eaten since noon yesterday!"

"You're welcome to try some of these if you like. This isn't exactly the cafeteria, but the Princesses don't seem to mind if we graze a bit here while we take our breaks."

"You're break room is a buffet?" I looked back at Umbra, eyes still moist from the beauty that was before me. So many vivid colors and scents filled my mind that I felt short of breath.

"More like a salad bar, but I never thought of it like that. I suppose we really are spoiled by working here."

I didn't wait for another word as I galloped to some red flowers and bit in immediately. It probably would have been a good idea to think about what I was eating before I put it in my mouth, but I didn't care. I felt something stabbing my tongue, but ignored it for the flavor the rose brought. It still tasted like it would have if I were human (it's better not to ask how I knew), but instead of the taste being unappealing, it was ambrosia. I didn't know why my tongue felt that way, but I hoped more things would be that way. I started to taste iron and stopped. I let what was left of the stem fall out of my mouth as I tried to lick the blood off of my scratched tongue. Umbra saw me and lost any cool he had before and burst into a fit of laughter. I can tell you, I've probably looked better.

I tried to shrug off the blood, which was equally appealing as it was before, and returned to the blue flowers, which didn't have thorns. I feasted for a few minutes before feeling guilty about keeping my new friend and the Princess waiting. "We should probably head back, before I get distracted again," I said, embarrassed.

The rest of the walk back was uneventful until we got to Princess Luna's chamber. The door was shut and when Umbra knocked on the door, Princess Luna simply opened the door an yawned, eyes darker than when we left, and only just sitting up from her bed. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, Princess, but I got distracted in the courtyard," I apologized as I bowed out of respect, remembering that I had neglected to do so when I first met Luna. "I would also like to apologize for my manners before, I'm not used to greeting royalty," I winced, hoping she was as nice and forgiving as others made her out to be.

"While personally, I do not care for such actions, it is commonplace to bow to royalty. You will do well to correct this when meeting my sister, but do not trouble yourself with such manners here. You may treat me as an equal if it would make you more comfortable," she spoke quietly as if the noise would wake another sleeping pony in the room, though I didn't see one. "Have you enough knowledge of Equestria to know where you would wish to stay? I have no reference as to what you are good at, and as you have probably noticed, it doesn't seem to have made itself clear to you either."

I decided to forego attempting to 'treat her as an equal' by trying to hug her (I knew my limits, after all) but then I realized that I really didn't know what my special talent would be. I turned my head to observe my deep red backside only to see a blank flank and an unkempt tail. Well crap, I guess I'm not so normal after all, I thought.

"Huh," was all that left my mouth.

"Have you decided?"

"On what? ... oh right! Uhm.. Ponyville. Can I stay in Ponyville?"

"Very well, I'm sure you will fit in just fine there. You will have to find a job upon arriving, but I'm sure there's someplace open. We can fill out the paperwork later, your new princess is tired."

"Yes, your Majesty. Thank you, very much. You don't know what this means to me," I gushed as I considered nuzzling her in thanks. Once again, I decided to not test my limits.

"For now, you will find guest quarters in the castle. If you wish to begin filing the paperwork, you may speak with Princess Celestia right now, or wait until sundown, and you will have the first appointment scheduled with myself. Understood?" She asked, her voice very clear after having been more awake and alert.

"Yes, your Majesty. Thank you, Princess Luna."

Umbra greeted me in the hallway again, and asked me whether I was ready to meet with Princess Celestia or if I would rather sleep. I was in no condition to make a hasty decision, but I decided sleep was probably the best option, even if I did just reverse my internal clock.

"Sleep, please," I responded, to which Umbra promptly escorted me to guest quarters. I plopped on the bed and instantly drifted off to sleep.

Author's Note

Corrections, suggestions, and constructive criticisms are welcome. I'm still a newbie writer so I expect to have mistakes that I didn't catch myself.
Writing the bathroom scene was both a challenge and boatloads of fun. I had to think of logical and convenient ways that this would be accomplished, and here is the result.

Personal Questions

I could feel heat on my back as I rolled to my side, not wanting to wake up just yet. I waited a few minutes for sleep to come as I reached for my pillow to cuddle once again, like I had done countless times before. As my grip found nothing, I reached for another pillow next to my head to pull between my arms, and as I tried to grasp it, I lost motor control in my fingers. Wait. I don't have fingers anymore. My entire body, including my wings shot straight up causing the sheet above me to flutter to the bureau on the opposite wall. I watched as it slowly drifted to the floor, then looked back up to the mirror. It was the first time I really saw myself, as every other time had been only glimpses of different parts of my body. I studied my figure carefully, wanting to get to know the new me somewhat better.

My features seemed to match those I had as a human, only more exaggerated and fitting for a pony's face. I had a boxy muzzle just like the other stallions of that world, and as I had seen before, my coat and wings were a deep red. However, my wings were a slightly off color compared to my coat, a feature I never would have noticed if I weren't looking closely enough. The stems of my feathers were dark and closer to a brown shade, but blended well with the surrounding down that matched my coat more. My mane was long and unkempt, but didn't stick out in many directions like it would have before. I was thankful for my new heavier hair as bedhead became a thing of the past. As I had already caught sight of, my mane and tail were the same dark brown that my previous head of hair had been, and sure enough, my flank was blank. I would have to work on finding my talent. Something completely new to were my eyes. They were a beautiful amber in color. I stared into them for a moment, only barely noticing my wings level with my back and tilting forward. I made a note to learn pegasus body language as soon as possible, but put it off in favor of the fatigue from lack of sleep.

I glanced around the room for a clock, not finding one, and opted to look out the window. It was apparently mid-day, a time for which I was used to waking up. I was thankful to not be on a college schedule anymore, but I still felt as groggy as if I had. I wanted a coke, but knew that this world couldn't possibly have something as unhealthy as canned carbonated soda. My wings perked up as I thought about what that would mean. COFFEE. Coffee was no secret indulgence of mine. I made it clear many times before in life that I loved coffee. I just never got it for several reasons. The first was that it was really inconvenient to make a whole pot if one were only to have a few cups. The second reason I never had it was that it was simply never made for me. It's not like I'm too lazy to make my own coffee in the morning, it was that the pot was already in use. My family had drank all of it before I could get any, and I never put forth the effort to snag a cup before it was gone. Unfortunately the biggest reason I never drank coffee was for my health. It was never made clear enough to me whether a can of coke would be healthier than a cup of coffee and sugar, but I guessed that the coke would be healthier because of the lower caffiene content. I wasn't very worried about my health enough to pass up indulgences, but I also wasn't very interested in going out of my way to consume three times the drug I needed than normal just to get through the day.

I could already feel withdrawl setting in, and with that feeling came my bodily response. My wings drooped to match my mood. I quickly drew them back to my sides and looked back out the window.

I could see pegasi flying around the castle going about their business. A few solar guards were switching posts by flying from one balcony to the next, rather than taking the long way, and in the distance I could see a few arranging the clouds. A warm breeze wafted through the open window and I felt it run through my fur and feathers. Again, I was graced with the feeling of air against my exposed body. It was a great feeling. I didn't feel self-conscious thanks to my new appendages. I was ecstatic to have gained the ability to fly, even if I hadn't made use of it yet. Turning back to the mirror with that thought in mind, I flapped my wings a few times to get a feel for the lift. I watched in the mirror as my wings flapped in unison, but gained no air. Obviously, I hadn't tried hard enough, but I knew to hold back while indoors. It was also unwise to jump on a bed regardless of how close the ceiling was. It felt strange to move my neck further back to see the ceiling, which was about ten feet above, but my neck was surprisingly flexible. There were no chandeleirs or ceiling fans, and I wasn't standing on a royal bed, so there wasn't a canopy either. It was, however a queen-sized down mattress, which was more comfortable than I expected.

Before thinking about taking off... stuff it, why lie? I flapped. Hard. My wings brought me as far as my hooves probably would have if I had opted to jump instead. Impressed with my performance, I let myself fall back to the mattress and collected my thoughts. It was almost instinctual to want to immediately fly, but I knew I wasn't going to be free enough to do so anytime soon. The draw to flight was nearly as strong as my previous draw to read fanfiction and sleep. There weren't any books in the room, at least not any that I expected to have the ability to read, and I was far too excited to want to go back to sleep. I wanted to meet more ponies! I ungracefully fell off of the bed, collected myself, and began to gallop out of the room. Luckily, there wasn't a closed door to block my way, and I dashed into the hallway using my wings to propel myself.

There to greet me at the door stood yet another guard, this time a solar unicorn guard. "Wes," he started. I was beginning to dislike that name, wanting to think of a new one, but lacking the creativity to do so. "Good, you're awake. The princess has been expecting you. She has requested that you be brought to the royal dining hall for lunch."

"Sweet! I'm starving, and tired. Will there be coffee?"

"I believe there will be tea. Will that suffice?"

"Close enough, I just don't want to go through withdrawl. I haven't had anything decent in a whole day. Please, lead the way."

Without a word my escort, who was much more serious than the three previous, proceeded down the hallway. We descended a few staircases, and I noticed that the steps were much broader with a gentler decline more fit for ponies. Taking the opportunity, I tried gliding down the second flight my escort and I descended. Surprisingly, I stuck the landing, although my impact was less than graceful. The clacks of all four of my hooves hitting the ground rang out through the room. Before retracting, I noticed my wings tilting slightly down, wanting to cover my shoulders as I smiled sheepishly. Response noted. The stallion caught up with me and led us deeper into the castle until we finally arrived in the dining area. It wasn't a cafeteria, but it wasn't a grand multipurpose dining room either. The room was about fifty feet wide and square in shape. We entered from a door in the corner of the room, which was reflected on the other side of the room upon both the opposite and same wall. In the center sat a magnificent white alicorn with a sun cutie mark, sitting at a short table and sipping a small cup of tea. Across from her sat another alicorn, this one purple with a star cutie mark, ignoring the glass in front of her in favor of conversation.

"...new creatures, and this will give me a chance to get a few answers to questions I didn't think of before. Thank you, Celestia. When do I get to meet him?"

"I think he just walked in. Say hello to Wes, Twilight," Celestia nodded in my direction before welcoming me, "It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard you wish to live in Ponyville?"

I bowed before responding, "Uhm, yes, but how did you know? I thought Princess Luna fell asleep."

"True, but not before I stopped by asking her about the situation. You should have come to see me this morning," she advised in a tone usually reserved for teachers asking their students not to procrastinate.

"I'm sorry, your majesty. It was a long day. I didn't mean to blow off my responsibilities," I made no excuses, noticing her much taller figure. If I had still been human, I would have been eye-to-eye with her standing up. Since I was a pony instead, she towered above me, emitting an aura of unforseen power and wisdom.

"Look at you, already acting like one of my loyal subjects," she dismissed, lightening her tone, "I appreciate the gestures, but this is a casual meeting. Twilight Sparkle has already agreed to take on the responsibility of assimilating you into our society. Luna also told me that you have a high regard for friendship. I feel my student here will be more than capable of sharing a few lessons with you."

Twilight Sparkle finally stood up and walked towards me. I was unsure of how to formally greet ponies. On Earth it would have been difficult enough to remember to shake someone's hand, but being friendly was becoming a challenge. I bowed in respect of her royalty, "It's nice to meet you, Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"It's nice to meet you too, Wes," she giggled, "You don't always have to call me Princess. Just Twilight is fine. You'll be living with me in the library until you find a more suitable home. Is that okay?" She prompted, though she probably already knew the answer would be an emphatic yes.

I held back in an attempt of respect, "Yes, that would be great! Thank you!" I responded gratefully. I managed to not react any more enthusiastically than that, and was proud of my attempt.

Princess Celestia then cut in, "Twilight Sparkle has also volunteered to file your paperwork to become a citizen. All you have to do is sign. Do you think you can manage with your new body?"

I thought for a moment of how I would hold a pen. I could use my mouth like I saw ponies do on the show, or even use my hoof or wing to hold it, but I had a more clever idea brewing. "I think I can do that," came my response after a moment of consideration.

"Great! Now that we have all formalities out of the way, we can finally have our lunch," Princess Celestia started, then faced Twilight, "You won't believe how many requests for audiences I've had today. One young colt even brought me a picture he drew. He was very talented, he even drew it using his own feathers for inking the lines. I so love seeing talented young fillies and colts being so creative. How are things in Ponyville?"

I awkwardly ambulated to the table hoping that I wasn't interrupting something that was meant to be private. I was sure that I was supposed to be at this meeting, and that the princesses would eventually talk to me as well.

"Things are great! I've been reading a bit more fantasy novels by Pinkie's request, and I didn't know they could be so enjoyable. I'm still more of a Daring Do fan, but the other books aren't so bad," Twilight chirped, "Do you read?"

I waited for a response before realizing that she was facing me, and not her mentor. I quickly compensated, "I love to read, but I'm not very interested in realistic fiction -" my mind short circuited for a moment, then upon reboot I corrected myself, "actually, I think now it would be considered realistic."

"Oh? What do you mean?"

I wasn't sure if I was ready to admit that I was obsessed with these ponies before they even knew I existed, but I thought of a way around it as I spoke, "You know where I came from, right?"

"Yes, I've actually been there before. It was very different from the way things are here."

"Well, a few people there heard about it and they told stories about your life. Stories about all ponies' lives in general, actually."

"Oh, I thought it had been a better secret," she blushed, "What have you heard?"

I hesitated for a moment before responding, "A lot."

"And that's what you read about?" Asked the white mare.

"Yes, y-your lives are v-very interesting," I stumbled around the words. It was then my turn to blush.

Instead of scolding me, or being overly creeped out, Celestia seemed elated by the discovery of their privacy invasion. Trollestia seemed elated by this discovery, I thought. I quickly shook the thought away before the door opposite me opened and a unicorn holding three trays in his magical field trotted in to present us with our meals. Upon the trays were a fresh pot of tea and an extra cup, a few clean plates, and a stack of sandwiches. Princess Celestia thanked her staff before dismissing him and continuing our conversation.

"Could you tell me one of these stories?"

I froze, wings now fully erect as I formed a response.

"I could, but you probably read them all the time. The main stories revolve around Twilight's life in ponyville."

"Is that so?" She pressed, "what was your favorite?" Both Twilight and I became pale when we heard, and Twilight dropped the sandwich she had started. I finished chewing the bite of peanut butter and bannana sandwich I had in my mouth before swallowing and considering.

I wouldn't dare refuse a request from a princess, especially one that I had practically worshipped for a year before meeting. I almost said Lesson Zero before realizing that she probably wouldn't have known what I meant. I reconsidered my choice after remembering that Twilight probably wouldn't appreciate the reminder, regardless of whether it actually happened or not. I began by describing the events that took place right before Twilight became a princess, with Celestia and Twilight nodding along, Twilight looking horrified. When I finished, I readied my canon cannon and patiently waited for them to confirm or deny what had actually happened.

I think Twilight lost her appetite.

Celestia simply remarked on the accuracy of my descriptions and complimented my taste. She must have really loved reading Twilight's letters as much as the writers made it seem. "Enough about our world for now, what about yours?" Twilight interjected after composing herself.

"It's not as interesting. We have wars and politics, and endless forms of media distribution, but our world isn't nearly as active as yours."

"I take it there isn't magic at all in your world?" Twilight asked.

"Not at all. Most of my kind don't believe in magic. We have great technology to make up for our lack of magic. I would show you, but I don't have my stuff with me."

"Do you mean those garmets that were found by the mirror?" The white mare asked.

"Actually, yes, I think my phone was in my pants. You saw them?"

"We did, and we will have them sent to the library with you if you wish to keep them."

I didn't respond, not caring either way what happened to my belongings. I didn't actually need any of them after gaining so much more. Internet wasn't necessary after being able to live stories rather than reading them, and I seriously doubted I could play games anymore even if I wanted to. I sure as hell didn't feel like talking to any humans, and for all of that, I was apathetic about my old life. It was over and I was where I belonged.

We finished our sandwiches making small talk about the differences between Earth and Equestria, and afterward the guard that had escorted me there returned with a stack of paper.

Twilight let out a devilish grin as she eyed the paperwork that she was about to start working on. "So, Wes is your name. Do you have a last name?" Her devious grin faded as her eyes locked on to mine.

"Not one that I'm willing to use anymore. I actually planned on renouncing my old name in favor of one more fitting of my talents," I started, turning to Celestia, "Would that be alright?"

She looked somwhere in the distance in consideration before replying, "I'm sure that would be fine. You will have to find your talent soon, though."

Twilight visibly subdued an annoyed groan before continuing, devilish grin returning, "and you are male, correct?"

"Yes, at least as far as I know."

"How old are you, and is your age considered being legal adult age where you are from?"

"20, and yes."

"Obviously you can speak our language, but can you read Equestrian as well?" She hoofed over the papers she was filling out in my stead, and I began to examine the first piece of Equestrian text I had seen. Surprisingly, it looked exactly like English. I should have realized that the mirror, along with translating all of what I had heard so far, would also translate everything I read to an extend as well. There were a few words, translated into characters I could recognize of course, that I still didn't understand, but I was still able to read most of the document. Out of curiosity from why Twilight was smirking, I read a bit further, hoping to not catch her attention.

Upon the document were several questions regarding nationality, physical attributes, and a few job experience questions, along with an attached aptitude test. Oh. I realized that Twilight was probably about to watch me experience the struggle she suffered when she first appeared on Earth. Not only had I not had previous work experience as a pony, I hadn't had work experience back home either. I was a jobless college student with only borrowed items to my name. Luckily, that wouldn't be for long, but I still felt the embarassment I was about to experience with an aptitude test. Especially one that I wasn't taking myself.

"Yes, this is all clear to me."

"Oh. That was unexpected," Twilight let her sly grin fall as she heard my response.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that when I was on Earth, I didn't understand most of what was being taught in those classes. I could read everything well, but more than half of it was gibberish."

"That might have been because it was high school. They're like that. Most of that is gibberish to me, too," I responded, cheering her up a bit, "Did you think you were going to catch me off guard?"

"What? No!" She exclaimed, though her eyes and ears told a different story. Her wings strangely remained where they were. I guess it's only certain things that cause them to be used for expression. Either that, or she was focused on keeping them under control all the time. "Let's continue. Do you have any previous work experience?"

"Not at all, and I suppose my schooling won't really apply much here either."

"That's quite alright," Celestia cooed, "we can find a use for your knowledge. I'm sure of it."

"Moving on... do you have any secondary or subsidiary special talents?"

"Not that I know of yet. I'm hoping to try my hoof at writing soon, and I would love to try flying, but I haven't experienced either here yet."

"I'm sure we'll find somewhere for you to spread your wings. Sexual orientation."

I thought I misheard her at first, so begged the obvious, "what?"

"Which gender do you prefer in a mate?"

"There's no way that's a real question on there, let me see it," I demanded, reaching for the document.

She put a hoof on it to stay my efforts and quickly responded, "It's not. Well, not exactly," she started, lifting her hoof from the page and taking it in her magic, "This is the part about your current and future residence. Since you'll be living in a public building with an adult of the opposite sex, i.e. me, there is a conflict of interest that must be addressed."

"You've got to be joking. I was a human not even 48 hours ago."

She shot me a stern, knowing look, putting the paper and quil down and leaning closer as if to deter her mentor from hearing her. "Look, I've been in your situation before and don't think for one second that you can get anything past me. I want to know."

"You really did have the hots for Sentry, didn't you!" I accused, rather loudly.

"That's none of your business," she stated calmly, "now answer my question."

"I'm straight," I surrendered, stifling a knowing laugh. "How about you tell me about yourself now?"

"That won't be necessary, I just needed to know about you."

I looked between her and Princess Celestia. Celestia simply shrugged while Twilight began finalizing the paperwork. A few scribbles and dabs later, Twilight passed the quil to me in her magic, sliding over the ink and papers. "Sign next to the 'x' please," she politely requested, beaming at the completion of her work. I was faced with a new challenge. All I had to do was sign, and this was the part I was thinking about for the short few minutes we had been enjoying our lunch and bickering. I already knew things were probably not off to the best start with Twilight, but it would have to do for the time being as I was anxious to get outside.

Refusing the quil, I extended my right wing and tried to isolate a single feather near the tip. Pleased as punch that I was able to get that far, I carefully drew the wing over the table and dipped the tip of my feather into the ink. It wasn't the same as using a quil, but at least I wouldn't have to awkwardly hold somepony or somechicken else's feather in my mouth or hoof. My method seemed much more reasonable. Twilight gawked and Celestia grinned, both watching me intently as I brought my left hoof to the table, securing the paper, and put my inked wing to the page, slowly signing my name in cursive.

It wasn't pretty.

When I was finished, I picked up a napkin in my mouth and slid the feather through an opening, still keeping the ink away from my muzzle and almost completely cleaned my feather. It was just a bit stained from the ink, but nothing a quick wash couldn't get out. Regardless of the result, I was proud of the method. Princess Celestia's reaction made it clear to me just how unconventional the idea was, and for that I beamed ear to ear.

"Okay, that should work just fine. I'll keep these on file, and you'll be a model citizen in no time! I won't make you read all of Equestrian law right this moment, but it is expected of you as a newcomer of this nation to not commit any acts that would be considered crimes in any civil setting. No killing any civilized creatures, forced sexual acts, or plans to overthrow the government," Twilight listed, "Understood?"

I mechanically responded with the respectful, "I understand," and added, "I also pledge my new allegiance to the Princesses of Equestria and your peaceful way of life," I bowed before continuing, "Thank you for all you have done for me. I hope to someday appropriately show my grattitude for your generosity," I pledged to them both.

"Thank you," Princess Celestia replied simply.

"Now, should we be on our way?" Twilight asked.

"We're leaving already? I'm in no hurry," I stated flatly looking at my unfinished tea.

The next half hour consisted of sharing customs of Equestria and Earth, both of which were similar enough for one to easily adjust to any small changes that existed. Something I looked forward to quite a bit was their acceptance of affectionate displays. Shortly after I finished my tea, we were on our way to the train station when I saw somepony familiar.

"Umbra!" I shouted before nearly wrecking into him from the air. I had been able to practice flying a few feet at a time in the streets of Canterlot while Twilight showed me around her old hometown. There was vastly more to the city of Canterlot than the show ever used, and so when we ambled near a cafe and I heard music, I jumped around in excitement. Flight wasn't something that I had to think about much, and so the little bit of practice I got out of wandering around Canterlot in the early afternoon became even more instinct-based. Umbra was exiting said cafe when I nearly flew into him. I managed to reach the ground and wrapped my forehooves around the off-duty guard, who finally returned the gesture. "It's nice to see you again," I turned to Twilight, "Sorry, I know this pony. He watched me last night when I was still getting used to things here."

"It's good to see you too, but I hope we don't make a habit out of actually running into each other. How did you sleep?"

"About the same as any other night. I still wake up at the same time."

"Ouch, that's gotta suck. I didn't get much sleep either, as you can see," he gestured to his face, which seemed dark and droopy.

"Aww, I'm sorry. Maybe we can get a drink sometime and talk about it later? I kinda have to go somewhere right now," I said regretfully.

"I'd like that. This is my usual hangout spot if you ever feel like stopping by to meet me."

I made note of the cafe before responding, "Awesome, I can't wait! I hope you have better days soon!" I remarked internally how weird it sounded, and tried replacing day with night. I realized it didn't sound better and felt a bit embarassed.

"Well hey, don't stay up so late every night. Most ponies work during the day, and I'll still be around here in the afternoons. My hours are demanding, but I still make time for myself," he winked before taking to the air, "See you around, Wes!"

"See you!" I called back.

Twilight and I continued down our path until Twilight broke the blissful silence. "So, you made friends already?"

"You could say that. I really feel like he and I connected last night. He's a really nice pony, and he's not as stiff as the solar guards."

"...but you said you were straight?" she half-asked.

"I am, what's your point?"

"I don't know, you just seemed kind of... well you know!"

"No, I don't," I pressed, feeling mildy entertained by her confusion rather than offended, "please explain it to me."

"You two seemed a bit more than friendly," she stammered, trying to gain composure.

"Oh, that? I'm like that with everypony. I can't wait to see Pinkie Pie, she loves hugs!"

"No, not the hug, Wes. You kind of asked him out."

"What?" I stated more than asked.

"Well, I may have misinterpreted the situation, but you were obviously excited, and you asked him to drink with you."

Realization was setting in and my dreams were beginning to drip into a pool of remnants of headcanon. Twilight had obviously not seen stallion interactions before. Either that, or she was clueless about dating. Then again, I was also a foreigner and the customs could have been different. Umbra didn't seem too interested in stallions, so I assumed that Twilight was just clueless. I still wanted to mess with her.

"You caught me, I don't care what gender or species someone is, I'll consider them for being a romantic partner."

"Really?"

"No."

"So what was that?"

"Two guys planning to enjoy a drink. Don't tell me mares don't do that?"

"Well we do, but you just seemed so enthused, and it looked like he felt good about it too."

"That's the magic of friendship, Twilight. You should know about that," I mocked.

"I get it, I guess," she rolled her eyes at me.

We continued to the train station in silence, and boarded our 14:00 train to Ponyville, opting out of flying due to my inexperience and her possible laziness.

Author's Note

Well crap. Now I have to add the sex tag.
Also, I feel compelled to throw in this little tidbit of information: the method I used to form a cut sentence wasn't something like conveniently walking in while they said something that could stand alone out of context. Instead, I formed the complete sentence and cut it before inserting it where it was needed.
What Twilight was saying before Wes walked in on the meeting was,
"I would be happy to take on this assignment. I love learning about new creatures, and this will give me a chance to get a few answers to questions I didn't think of before. Thank you, Celestia."
It's small, but I was attached enough to save the note. Basically, had the beginning been heard, it would have implied Celestia volunteered Twilight for the job of taking care of Wes rather than Twilight doing it of her own free will. It's not important to the plot, just slightly funnier imo.

Incredibly Infinite Barrage of Incalculable Curiosity

Train tickets were surprisingly cheap. It took only ten bits (that I didn't have thanks to my perpetual jobless status) to board from Canterlot to Ponyville. Twilight had a round trip ticket already and paid my way without a second thought. I thought it incredibly nice of her to take care of me like that, but I still wanted to pay her back as soon as possible. I began to think of doing chores for her, but remembered that she had Spike and Owlowiscious to help already. I quickly began fantasizing about other opportunities to do favors for her, coming up short due to my lack of knowledge about the world and lack of creativity. We boarded the train without a word to each other and took our seats. I sat facing the front and she took the seat across from me. As I sat down, I immediately ran into difficulty getting comfortable. The chair was wide enough for a pony to lie down comfortably, but it took me several tries to actually situate myself in that position. I noticed as I was lying down that I wasn't much more comfortable than standing up, though I did feel slightly more secure. Twilight suppressed a laugh at my expense, perking up enough to begin what I would later call the incredibly infinite barrage of incalculable curiosity.

"What's it like transforming into a pony?" She began.

"I don't really know. I didn't feel anything when I came through the portal. I suppose waking up in a new body felt a bit strange, but it's nothing I can't get used to. Humans have to crawl before they can walk, and even if I'm using my back hooves instead of my knees, it's about the same."

"Well that's odd," she raised an eyebrow, "I remember a powerful vortex that made me sick afterward. I felt everything."

"That makes sense. I actually ran head first into the portal, so I probably fainted before the transformation started. How did it feel?"

"It felt like my whole body was being torn apart and rearranged. You should be glad you missed that part," she continued the assault, "How do you stand on only two legs?"

"I don't anymore," I quipped, "but personally, I have great balance. Walking on two legs seems to be a no-brainer for most humans. We never think of it, our bodies are just built that way. It's very efficient if you think about it. It frees our upper limbs for other equally important tasks." The train lurched forward and began its trip to my new home. I almost jumped in response.

"Why do you wear clothes all the time? I get that you don't have as much fur as us, but isn't it really warm there?"

My cartoonish eyes got even wider as I backed my face away from her prying question. I had to debate whether I should have been offended or not because she didn't seem to know a lot from her short time there. It wasn't personal, so I replied, "Usually, it's not that warm. Where I'm from it gets rather cold and we experience all of the seasons. Our winter is especially harsh, but we don't wear clothes just to protect us from the elements. Earth is a dirty place and humans are fragile. We can get sick from almost anything, and so we protect our bodies with the extra layer." I thought for a second before adding, "We're also self conscious about our bodies."

"How do you control the weather without magic?"

"We don't."

She gasped, "You really don't have any control over your weather? How do you live like that?"

"In constant fear that the sky will kill us."

"..."

"Humans can predict the weather. It has certain patterns it follows and we have devices and instruments to measure it. I would love to share the process with you if I actually knew how it worked. I only know the basics like air pressure, cold fronts, and due to a childhood fear, conditions for tornadoes."

"Wait, you don't schedule tornadoes either?"

"No. I haven't heard of a single creature on earth that can manipulate the clouds or the wind. We have machines that can harness it in small amounts, and others that can borrow its power, but nothing big enough to actually start a tornado. We don't even need them like you do. Clouds are formed by natural evaporation in my universe."

Twilight bounced on the edge of her seat, visibly teeming with more questions. "How do televisions work?"

"What?"

"You have TV's there. I saw them. Do you make them with magic like we do here?"

"Oh, I was wondering about that. I knew ponies had advanced technology, and I didn't think it was the same as ours. Spear and Wit told me about Equestrian technology, so I think I can explain it. You probably don't want to know."

"I want to know everything!"

If you think Lyra was the pony who was obsessed with humans, let me tell you just how wrong you are. Never underestimate the curiosity of a dedicated student. I tried my best to explain how a television worked and failed miserably. Once again, I'm saving myself some of the embarrassment by leaving that little tidbit out. Her myriad of questions continued as the train carried us to Ponyville. It was going to be a short ride considering the distance between the two cities, and as Twilight continued prodding me with questions about being human I peered out the window to see the sky getting darker and pegasi pushing dark clouds in the direction of Ponyville. It seemed like they were only preparing a light drizzle, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the actual process. The pegasi I could see were beautiful, their colors reflecting the entire spectrum of light that I had come to only recently be able to see. They were mostly the color of the clouds and the sky, with a few sunrise and sunset colors mixed in. I could see brilliant blues and pale greys fill my vision. It looked like it took a lot of ponies to get the work done, and my confidence in getting a job doubled as a result.

I was cut off from my fantasizing about my new job by a hoof to my withers. It was strange to feel both of my shoulders being touched at once, but it caught my attention all the same. "Huh, what?" I asked, breaking free of my reverie.

"I asked how you knew so much about my life."

"I thought I already talked about that."

"You weren't specific. Who told you?"

"It was a television show. I mean, a lot of people told me I guess, but it was all on TV too."

"How many people watch television?" She asked nervously.

"Millions of people watch TV, but really only thousands have seen the show. At least I think that's an accurate number." Twilight's jaw dropped and she made a very unladylike face that looked similar to one a horse from Earth would make, only she made it look cute. She also said something I couldn't understand, but I figured there was no need to translate a noise like that. She remained frozen until I returned her previous gesture, which was made difficult by her back being away from me. I settled for a bump on the upper foreleg instead. "Calm down, it's not that bad. Nobody believes you're real," I instantly regretted those words. I hoped she wouldn't catch the last part as I quickly changed the subject, "Do you have a shower?"

She tried to compose herself and nearly succeeded with only her twitching eye remaining, "I uh... yes."

"Good, I don't want to stink up your house and I should probably learn how to operate one before I actually need it," I thought out loud as I tried sniffing myself. I wasn't accustomed to my new scent yet, so to my freshly tuned nostrils, I smelled like a horse. I came dangerously close to saying that part out loud too, but managed to bite my tongue before saying something that I was sure would be offensive. My train of thought continued as the not-so-metaphorical train did the same, "How do I preen my wings?"

Twilight was still trying to recover while coming up with a response, "J-just smooth them out. They should be fine. It's like brushing your mane, but you have to be more careful and use your mouth."

I decided to keep the rest of my stupid questions to myself for a while until the train came to a stop at the station. Oddly I didn't notice any of the other ponies on the train until they all rose simultaneously to leave. My wings twitched with excitement as I stood, and for the first time didn't fall from a raised seat, and followed their lead with Twilight mechanically following.

Ponyville's train station ran near the outside of town, so most of Ponyville was visible after stepping off. Ponyville was miniscule compared to Canterlot, as I expected, and had a very simple feel to it. The houses and buildings were small and had thatched roofs, and there was a stream running through town with a small cobblestone bridge over said river. I took a moment to appreciate not having to use it thanks to my wings, but was quickly denied that by the rain. Like I suspected, it was only a drizzle, and the train station gave us shelter until we needed to leave. I searched for a clock, finding that it was still early in the afternoon, and fluttered from the excitement. Twilight carried a duffel bag in her magical aura that I didn't see when we boarded. I discarded the thought wondering we would do next. I tried taking off only to be caught by the tail by Twilight's magic.

"Oh no you don't. You don't have any practice, and I'm not going to let you fly in this weather. You could get hurt."

I followed orders reluctantly, looking up to the clouds as the rain fell into my face. The water on my eyes didn't bother me at all, and I got a good look at the gorgeous cloud layer above us. I couldn't help but wonder what it was like above the weather and envied every pegasus who had the ability. In the distance I could see a crystal structure that came close to piercing the sky as we trotted in that direction and followed the spire downward where it expanded outward into a castle that dwarfed the many smaller buildings of Ponyville. At the door stood a tiny purple figure that I could make out as Spike with my sharper vision. Standing next to him was a familiar blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. My wings extended to their full length faster than they had ever done before at the sight before me.

Author's Note

Sorry for the short chapter. I blame my roommate for not giving me a single moment of peace all week. -_-
I promise the next one will be better.

I want to fly!

Author's Note

I know it's another short chapter, but I was really challenged with the events that I wanted to take place here, so I'm pacing myself. I'll pick up the pace soon. To make up for the length of this chapter, I'll be submitting my first one-shot alongside it. Enjoy!

I want to fly!

"Please can I fly?" I begged, shaking some of the moisture from my feathers.

"No, you're still new at it, and I don't want to be responsible for any injuries you could sustain."

"I promise I'll be careful, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

"No! Stop asking."

I had plenty of reasons for wanting to meet the sky. I wanted to try standing on clouds, the weather was more pleasant above them, and Rainbow Dash had taken off and drifted through them. My wings were more cooperative after she left my sight, and I tried keeping them closed, but my radiating excitement kept my feathers and fur on end. I was psyched to be so close to meeting Rainbow Dash and determined to get my way. I groveled some more, "I'll be fine, I'm a grown stallion. Can't you let me go for like five minutes?"

"..."

"I'm going."

"Wait!" She tried to stop me as I galloped at full speed, extending my wings and pumping them in preparation for takeoff. I managed to gallop for a whopping two meters before tripping over my own four hooves and skidding in the mud.

"Tartarus," I swore under my breath.

"How did you expect to fly when you can't even trot in a straight line?"

To tell the truth I blissfully ignored that fact hoping (obviously in vain) that my wings could bring me more balance, I thought. "Ugh this sucks," were the only words to escape my mouth. I wanted to see the clouds so much that I couldn't pull my head out of them long enough to see that I had no experience with flying.

"If you want to fly so badly, you'll get your chance when this weather passes. The rain was only scheduled for an hour today," Twilight lectured. "Come on, let's get inside first. I'll show you around town later, but it's unlikely you'll get lost here. Ponyville is quite small," she sighed, "On the other hoof, I'm still getting used to the castle, and I've lived there for long enough to know it like the back of my hoof."

We continued to said castle and she beckoned me inside. Despite having so many new places thrown at me since arriving, I was still averted to entering new houses. At least I didn't have shoes to take off at the door. I briefly wondered where Spike had wandered off to, but kept my thoughts to myself since it was none of my business in the first place. I gazed in awe upon the grand entrance as I stepped through the threshold. The castle was ornately decorated and shimmered brightly on the inside, but not enough to cast a glare on a pony's comically large eyes. The crystals shone whole spectrums of light that danced as we moved further into the room. The ceiling was about ten meters high and a beautiful eight tier open-flame crystal chandelier hung midway between the floor and the ceiling. "Wow," I gaped in a hushed tone.

Twilight didn't seem to notice and directed me to the east corridor leading from the lobby. Turning a corner and climbing a wide spiral staircase Twilight spoke, "I recommend picking a room with an east-facing window and light curtains. It will help you wake up in the morning. I don't have any alarm clocks for the extra rooms yet, even though whatever power brought this castle into existance was nice enough to fully furnish them."

My eyes wandered in all directions as we reached the top of the staircase which opened up to a curved pathway that opened up onto a massive balcony overlooking the hallway below. The crystals never ceased reflecting their spectrums, and they each gave off a suble glow. The railing for the balcony was crescent-shaped, and allowed plenty of wing room should any pegasus or alicorn wish to glide down instead of taking the steps. To the right, a hallway of stained windows lead to a larger version of the same type of balcony to overlook the entrance, level with the chandelier. Instead of having pictures telling stories, the stained windows remained blank, each one only having a different color scheme to set them apart from the next. I peered past the chandelier to see another hallway of stained glass reflected on the other side. I assumed that the castle was mostly symmetrical, which could either make it easier or more difficult to get lost, depending on how one handled directions.

I returned my sight to the hallway ahead of us where Twilight had been waiting, politely watching my inspection. Seeing that I was finished observing the immediate area, she continued her canter through the forward hall, which had been lined with doors on both sides. "This wing is for bedrooms. I think they're supposed to be quarters for my guards, but as you can see, I haven't found a use for them yet until you arrived. It actually gets quite lonely here with just Spike and myself, so if you want to choose a room close to mine or his, you're welcome to do so. These are our rooms," she extended a hoof to an open door on her right. I noticed that she had neglected the advice she gave me earlier about choosing a room with an east-facing window, as hers seemed to only point to a courtyard resting in what looked like the center of the castle with some openings for air and light above the rooms on the west wing, and I assumed had matching openings that I couldn't see above the rooms nearest us. The openings were slanted upward allowing the rain to fall through and feed the sapling. The window in her room rested on the floor, allowing me to peer through to the outside without intruding her personal space. A sapling lay smack-dab in the middle of the courtyard, with a brick ring surrounding it. My gut told me there was great significance in that tree being there.

I was quiet throughout the whole tour, taking everything in completely before reacting, and patiently waiting for the princess to tell me what to do. She only stood there looking at me, boring holes in my side until I made my decision. I turned completely around, crossing the hallway and bringing a hoof up to the door handle. Pushing down the lever and leaning into the door, it gave way willingly opening to a reflection of the room across the hall, save for the darkened drapes covering the window. The crystals on the edges of the room between the wall and the ceiling emanated a faint light making the room visible. I silently hoped that there were a way to control their brightness so I could sleep in peace. Twilight seemed to read my thoughts, "The crystals dim when it gets later. They funnel light from outside the castle into the hallways and rooms, so when it gets dark, you'll have to rely on your own light source. I have some candles around in case you don't want to sleep right away, and I almost never do. The lights in the hallways don't ever seem to dim, but they don't get brighter throughout the day either. They must hold a charge, or have some magical quality keeping a steady stream of light shine from them. So you won't have to worry about stumbling around in the dark. I haven't really had a chance to study them yet. Do you want this room?" She asked.

"Sure. Do you mind that it's across from yours?"

"Not at all. Spike's is right next to mine too," she beamed.

"Thank you for letting me stay here until I get on my hooves. I really appreciate the gesture, Princess Twilight," I expressed my gratitude, adding in a bow out of respect.

"Wes, I already told you you can call me Twilight, and you don't have to bow to me. It's nothing, really. I don't mind taking you in, at least as long as you don't wreck anything," she jested.

"I'll try my best not to destroy your home, Twilight. Really though, thank you." I cautiously put a hoof forward to close some distance between us, gaging her reaction so as not to offend her. When she didn't back down, I stepped closer and swiftly nuzzled her cheek with mine as thanks. When I drew my head back, she was blushing. I suspected I was, too, but hoped that I hadn't just made things awkward between us too soon.

"Oh hey Twilight!" A chipper voice called out from the landing down the hall. I jumped in surprise, my wings flaring yet again and my heart raced. I instinctively turned to see a baby purple and green dragon walking towards us.

Hugs are funerrific!

"Oh there you are, Spike. I thought I saw you come in, but I didn't see you anywhere," Twilight addressed her faithful assistant.

The baby dragon replied cheerfully, "I was in the library looking for you actually. Rainbow Dash came by to return the Daring Do book she borrowed. She said to tell you that her copy finally came in the mail." I was surprised to hear that Twilight still had some piece of her book collection after it was destroyed by Tirek. I was tempted to go get a few adventure books and see just what was so special about them. Spike continued, "How was your trip to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia?"

"It went well," she replied, her blush quickly fading, "I made a new friend. This is Wes. Wes, this is Spike, my number one assistant," she introduced us. I extended a hoof for him to shake, exchanging greetings and pleasantries. Having a scaly claw wrap around my hoof was a notable experience. I had previously pet a snake and an iguana before, and the their texture was equally as pleasant as a cat's or a dog's. Spike's claw was no exception. Through my fur I could feel the tough scales and he even had a firm grip to match. Either Twilight studied handshake manners and taught them to her assistant, or Spike had just been naturally strong. I wasn't motivated to find out, so I simply returned the gesture as best I could with a warm smile. After introductions were out of the way, Twilight informed, "Wes is new to Equestria, and he'll be staying with us until he learns about our ways and can get his own place. His room is right across the hall from ours."

Spike nodded, "Would you like me to show him around town while you put away the books? A lot of them were checked back in today."

"How many is a lot?" She probed.

"Miss Cheerilee's class came for a visit, so about 30 books were checked out and promptly returned before they left."

"No." Twilight's eye twitched. I knew the look she had on her face. I wore it too many times before to not recognize a hoarder's nightmare. Maybe 'hoarder' was exaggerating a bit, but I knew well enough how frustrating it must have been for Twilight to have her perfectly organized library torn apart by curious foals. I let out a chuckle at her expense as she excused herself, "Yes Spike, could you please show Wes around? I think the rain is clearing up, and he said he wanted to fly. I have to take care of the disas- I mean library."

"No problem," he joined me in a fit of silent laughter as we watched her jump from the balcony and glide to the main floor. "Twilight and her books. You can't get between them."

Despite knowing how Twilight felt about the mess, and feeling guilty about not offering to clean up for her (It wasn't like I had a choice anyway), I agreed with Spike and we took the stairs down and left the castle. Even though I knew what most of the big attractions in Ponyville were, I still only knew enough about them to ask where they were. I knew I would probably get lost looking for places like Sweet Apple Acres or Fluttershy's cottage. Carousel Boutique and the Castle of Friendship were easily spotted even from out of town because they violated the standard color layout of the rest of the town. In fact, I could easily spot the boutique a slight distance from the castle. Twilight didn't really have any close neighbors, but Rarity could have been considered one by definition. I figured Spike would try to take me to meet her first, and I wouldn't have protested, but instead I was pleasantly surprised as he asked, "Are you hungry? I could go for a few cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner if you don't mind going there first."

Something in my mind clicked and I remembered my most basic reason for coming to Equestria. If I had been focused on flying before to the point I would have taken off without permission, the feeling completely disappeared when I heard the mention of Sugarcube Corner. I wanted nothing more in the world than to go to Sugarcube Corner because Sugarcube Corner had something that no other universe could offer in the same form. And it wasn't their cupcakes. "That sounds great," I replied, elated to finally have my wildest and most wonderful dreams come true. Spike gave me a general tour along the way, pointing out other points of interest, first being the boutique to our far right, and moving on to the odd shops that only Ponyvillians could come up with like Quills and Sofas. I spent most of the trip attempting to hover, only managing to look like a pony ballerina performing clumsy grand jetés and skips. Eventually I got the hang of flight, figuring out that trying to go slow without hovering resulted in both exhaustion and an early landing. Spike was nice enough to try keeping up with my speed when I finally grasped the concept enough to get somewhere with it, but I resigned to trot the rest of the way, satisfied with my accomplishment. I was still nowhere near real flight, but I at least had the basics down. Hovering was going to be more of a challenge.

Spike pointed out an oversized gingerbread house that I recognized as the town's bakery, and we were greeted instantly upon walking through the doors. "Hello! Welcome to Sugarcube Cor- *gasp* Oh my gosh! Spike, you have a new friend that I've never met before, how come we never met before? Spike, who's your new pegasus friend? Where's he from? How did he get here? What's his name? Why doesn't he have a cutie mark? Does he like parties? Do you like parties? Do you want to be my friend? Huh? Huh? Huhuhuhuhuhuhu-"

I tackled her to the ground, giving her a full-body hug and booped her nose to cut her off. I grinned from ear to ear, feeling my equine face contort in ways I didn't think possible, almost feeling myself burst at nonexistent seams from the joy that overcame me from meeting the bubbliest mare in Equestria. I finally got my hug from Pinkie Pie, and I didn't want to let go from the mare that had never once failed to make me smile. The element of laughter's eyes widened in delight and she emitted a squeak that I was sure only she and dog toys could produce.

"I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name, new friend?"

"I'm Wes." I booped her nose with my own once more, "I've heard of you before and you're exactly how I thought you would be! I'm so glad I could meet you!" I stated, blushing from my outburst of affection. I was elated by Pinkie's positive reaction to my display, but I quickly freed her from my death grip.

"Do you like parties Wes?" she tittered, asking almost too fast for me to process. Truthfully, I had missed half of her previous array of questions and forgotten the rest in excitement.

"Of course! Who doesn't?" I exclaimed, half-heartedly trying to calm down. Spike gawked at us, and the rest of the bakery patrons came into my peripheral view for me to see that none of them seemed to care at all about what just happened. If Twilight had known Spike would take me to Sugarcube Corner, she might have remembered my earlier vow and possibly warned him that my outbursts of affection mixing with Pinkie Pie's would be like tossing a live grenade at a stockpile of C4. What followed for me was a blur of ecstacy as Pinkie effortlessly hopped over the counter and disappeared into the kitchen and within seconds returned with a whole tray of cupcakes that she offered to Spike and me for no charge. The bakery was relatively busy, so she quickly excused herself back to work while Spike and I enjoyed our treats.

"What was that?" he inquired.

"What was what?" I dismissed.

"That! What was all the hugging and kissing and junk as soon as we walked in? You haven't even met Pinkie before."

"That was not kissing, Spike," I corrected, "and do you even know that mare? Frankly I'm surprised everypony around here isn't filled with the light of a thousand suns every time they see her. She's incredible!"

"Ugh, you have a crush on her, don't you?"

"Huh, now that you say it, I just might." I paused, letting him believe it for a few seconds, but then deadpanned, "No Spike, I just really like being happy. Pinkie just has a charm that makes her such a delight to be around, for me at least, and I wanted to show her how I felt about that." It was a difficult concept to explain my feelings about Pinkie Pie. On one hoof, she was the embodiment of some of my favorite things about life. She was the element of laughter for crying out loud! On the other hoof, the feeling was completely platonic. I usually don't catch non-romantic feelings from girls, but something about Pinkie Pie kept me where I needed to be with her. I didn't want to take away everypony's best friend for myself. I wanted everypony to feel as happy as she could make me feel. I tried explaining the concept to Spike, and he was surprisingly receptive. "It would be like picking the most beautiful rose from its bush. As soon as you do, the rest of the bush is left without its best flower, and anyone else who sees it won't get to enjoy the flower the way you did. Not only that, as soon as you pick the flower, it ceases being what you originally loved as it can no longer get its nutrients anymore."

I should have expected Spike to be a total bro by understanding my analogy, especially since he didn't see flowers as food the way other ponies would. Still, I was surprised when he uttered a "wow" and his eyes widened in understanding. Apparently I had gotten through to him on some level, and I wondered whether his thoughts had turned to Rarity at some point as I watched his expression change while he processed the information.

"Before you start making assumptions, don't think that any of that means I wouldn't date anypony at all. It's just that Pinkie Pie has a very special place in my heart."

"I think I understand," he nodded his approval before biting into his third cupcake. I glanced at the plate in front of me which had been generously covered with cupcakes courtesy of Spike, and contemplated eating them. They were purple with blue frosting, and unlike the pastries on Earth, not covered in paper. I figured that on Earth they were wrapped for sanitation reasons, and thought about how little Equestria seemed to care about those things. Most ponies simply had to handle things with their mouths and there was no getting around that fact. There wasn't much of a point to wrapping baked goods in order to handle the wrapper with one's mouth, only to have the consumer do the same. I was thankful for that fact, knowing that I wouldn't have to test my dexterity with my mid-afternoon snack.

I was hesitant to dive face first into my plate, thinking that the gesture would be rude, and looked around the rest of the bakery to see many ponies opting to do just that. I lowered my muzzle and bit into the first cupcake. The peculiar taste was a new flavor to me, but it wasn't bad either. I hastily devoured the first and started the second before Spike spoke up again, "So where are you from?"

"Earth."

"I think I've heard of that place before," he scratched his chin.

"You've been there before. It's where Sunset Shimmer lives," I reminded him between bites.

He was pensive for a minute while the gears turned in his head. I finished my cupcake while I waited patiently for him to remember. When he did, his eyes widened. "Oh I remember that place! It had all the talking monkeys with hands! There are ponies there too?"

"No, I used to be human."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to call you a monkey."

I chortled, "It's okay, I'm obviously not human or monkey anymore." I proudly displayed my wings. "I still don't have my cutiemark though," I sighed.

"Well that's okay, I know three fillies that don't have their cutie marks either. They could probably help you get yours if you want," Spike offered, trying to cheer me up.

"That sounds fun, but I really just want to meet Rainbow Dash now. I hear she's the best flyer in Equestria and she could probably teach me how to fly. Plus, I want to try getting a job as a weather pony. Do you think she could help me get in?"

"I don't know about getting a job as a weather pony, but you already sound like one of the crusaders to me. I could introduce you to Rainbow, but I have no idea where she is right now. She's not an easy mare to find."

"That's okay, I'm a patient pony."

He just raised an eyebrow.

We finished our snack in silence and I allowed my mind to wander again. I looked over to the pink mare behind the counter and focused on her appearance while my thoughts flowed. Pink and purple were colors I struggled with as a human. Having them more defined changed my perspective on them drastically as I watched the baker take orders from the kitchen and present customers with their pastries. I noticed that her cutie mark stood out in contrast to her light pink fur. She disappeared into the kitchen once more and my gaze dropped to the cupcakes. I nibbled on the last one, not wanting to move right away while I recounted what had just happened.

I walked into Sugarcube Corner, saw Pinkie Pie, and just tackled her to the ground. She didn't seem to mind at all, and none of the other customers even noticed. It's like that kind of thing really is common for Pinkie Pie. I could see her vivid blue eyes just staring back at me. She didn't seem surprised at all. And then I....

*boop* My snout came in contact with the cupcake I had been eyeing. The blue frosting matched Pinkie's eyes.

"Do you always look at your food when you eat?" Spike asked.

That was a weird question. "I never really paid attention, but I guess I do. Why?"

"You go cross-eyed all the time. It looks kinda funny."

"Do I?" It made sense. I really didn't notice before, but it reminded me of a conversation I had with my old friend Aaron a while back. I was trying cigarettes for the first time, and he had been a smoker for years. It didn't take me long to quit, but he continued, and I never thought much about it afterward. He once pointed out that I went cross-eyed ever time I hit the stick, but I kept doing it if only just to look funny. We had been friends for a really long time until I moved away and then we had no way of communicating as easily. He was still my best friend through all of the time that I was away, and even to that day in Sugarcube Corner I considered us friends. I silently wished I had told him about my trip, but he was always serious about life. He never would have believed me, and even if he did, he probably would have no interest in the kind of life I wanted. I tried to shake my mind off of those thoughts and return to my new best friends.

Being so close to Pinkie Pie, I noticed something. I ignored the fur on ponies before, as I could only see it as a smooth coating on top of their skin, but when I was so close I could count the hairs if I wished to, it reminded me of my pets back home. I used to have cats and when I let them lick my face, I could see the fur on their faces smoothed down in several different directions. I was always tempted to nuzzle them back whenever they would brush up against my face, and their fur was so soft. My encounters with Umbra, Twilight, and Pinkie Pie had all been like that, and I could even feel my own fur as somewhat of a comforter.

Spike waited for me to finish chewing the last bite of my cupcake before asking, "Are you ready to go somewhere else?"

"Sure, where to?" I almost wanted to suggest Sweet Apple Acres to wash down our cupcakes with some cider or something. Too bad it wasn't in season.

"Sweet Apple Acres. You mentioned you needed a job while you were here, and Applejack is always talking about having so many responsibilities on the farm. You should ask her and Big Macintosh if they could use an extra farm hand," he suggested as we walked out of the bakery thanking Pinkie Pie for the baked goodies. I gave her a nuzzle for good measure, which she happily accepted, making a noise that resembled purring.

I had to hand it to Spike for looking out for me. He seemed to be really on top of things while I was with him. I couldn't tell if that was because of his work ethic and he was just treating me as another assignment, or if he genuinely cared about a pony he had just met. I also made note of his thoughtfulness in choosing venues. He seemed to really have everything together socially. I also couldn't help but notice that I had just watched him eat six purple cupcakes. They didn't taste like they were overly rich in sugar, but I wondered if it would make him sick anyway.

Chores

"Hey there, Spike!" A jubilant yellow filly greeted us on the path leading to Sweet Apple Acres, "Did you get done with your chores early too? Scootaloo, Sweetie and I were going to try our hooves at extreme bird watching. Wanna come?"

I almost wanted to ask what made the bird watching extreme, but I had other things I should have been focused on, like getting a job. Spike was more than willing to ask our shared quandary, "What's extreme bird watching?"

"It's a long story, but basically Scotaloo got the idea to combine activities to make finding our cutie marks go faster. She said she has a feeling about this one, and I feel it too. Hey!" She turned to me, eyes wide and tail wagging, "You don't have your cutie mark either?"

"Uhh," I turned to look at my rump for a mark I knew wasn't there. I don't know what I expected, but it was still blank. Obviously my special talent hadn't been hugging or scarfing down cupcakes. I tried to think of an excuse, not wanting to explain my story to somepony who probably wouldn't understand yet.

"Do you wanna try to find your special talent with us? You've probably tried everything, haven't you? I bet you know all sorts of tricks and stuff," she chirped.

I looked to Spike, hoping he would get me out of the situation, only getting a shrug in response. "No thanks," I replied, trying to keep it short, "I'm actually quite satisfied with the color of my flanks." I gave a weak grin, hoping to avoid any extreme shenanigans the crusaders would get into. I couldn't fathom exactly what they could be doing, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it involved tree sap. The dejected filly only gave a sigh in response. I began to apologize, only to be cut off by Spike.

"Is Applejack around? Wes here was looking for some work while he was in Ponyville, and we were hoping he might be able to work here."

The yellow filly perked up again while answering, "Yeah, she's still out checking the west orchard. She shouldn't be too hard to find. Do you still want to come with us Spike?"

"Sure, after I'm done showing Wes around," he paused to think, "Oh! Sorry for not saying anything before. Applebloom, this is Wes. He's new to Ponyville and I'm showing him the town and introducing him to our friends. Wes, this is Applebloom. She's one of the founding members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. You'll probably meet the others soon, too."

"It's nice to meet you, Applebloom," I said, for once not knowing how to greet another pony. Twilight, Celestia, and Luna were all royalty, so I just bowed to them. Spike actually offered a claw to shake and Pinkie seemed okay with the hugging thing, but for once I didn't know a casual greeting.

What I lacked in cultural knowledge, Applebloom made up for in neighborliness as she offered a hoof, "It's nice to meet you too, Wes. I'm always glad to meet another blank flank, and I hope you reconsider about crusadin' with us sometime." I made an honest attempt at shaking her hoof without looking awkward, and was surprisingly successful. I smiled more at my attempts at ponyisms than a potential new friend.

When we broke the hoofshake Spike turned back to me and asked, "Are you going to be okay on your own here while I go hang out with the girls?"

"I think I can find my way. West orchard, right?" I asked Applebloom.

"That's right! See ya 'round, Wes," she nodded, then trotted off with Spike in tow. I turned back onto the path into Sweet Apple Acres, noticing the sun directly in front of me. There were apple trees all around on both sides of me, and a fence isolating the orchards from the path. I assumed the halfway point would be the Apples' farm house, and it was a fair trot just to get that far. I didn't notice anypony near the farm house, so I nervously trotted around the area heading further into the farm. Luckily for me, there were apple trees just beyond the house, and I could see an orange mare wearing a stetson talking to somepony I couldn't see yet. From a distance, I couldn't make out anything she was trying to say and as I approached, I didn't see anypony else in the area. I noticed she was facing a tree and she fell silent upon my approach.

"Howdy there! I haven't seen you around these parts, I reckon you're new here." She turned to meet my eyes and trotted closer, "Name's Applejack. What brings you out here?"

"Wes, it's nice to meet you," I introduced myself. I kept the conversation all business, knowing too soon I already had nothing in common with the mare, and wanting to get away from a constant escort as soon as possible. "As a matter of fact, I am new here, and I was just looking for a job. I heard you need a few extra hooves around the farm. Is there anything I can do?"

She gave a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of her neck with a foreleg. "Well gee, that's mighty nice of you to offer, and I would be happy to accept, but..."

"What is it?"

"You're kind of... not the kind of help we need around here."

"What do you mean?" I was honestly confused, not knowing if I had broken some cultural norm or missed something in her body language. If an assumingly capable stallion wasn't the kind of help that was wanted around the farm, then what was?

"Well for one, you're not in the best of shape." She was clearly trying not to be offensive. It was true, I may not have been as athletic as Rainbow Dash, but I wasn't out of shape or unfit, either. I felt confident I could still beat Applejack at hoof wrestling, and even though I wasn't much taller than her, I was still rather strong. "You're also a pegasus." I was almost shocked by what she had put so bluntly, even though she was avoiding eye contact. I didn't think she discriminated based on race like that, and figured she would have taken any help she could get and would just pay a fair wage based on what a pony could produce.

"What?"

"I mean no offense! Really, I don't mean to turn you down based on how you're put together or nothin'. It's just that... don't pegasi usually do better with jobs involving the sky?"

I could tell she was dancing around a subject that I probably should have known. She could have been referring to each race possessing their own unique kind of magic, but until then I was unsure of the truth behind that theory. I decided to test my knowledge of Equestrian magic by directing the conversation in that direction, "Do you mean because I don't have terrestrial magic?"

"Well," she paused, "sorta." I didn't move. I wasn't ready to give up just yet, and she seemed like she would have given me a chance anyway. It wasn't like I had something to lose by asking complete strangers for favorites. She seemed friendly enough to not hold it against me. I waited for her to reconsider, donning a poker face in preparation for a stare-down. She continued, "I suppose I could give you a try, but don't be too upset if you can't handle the work. Remember, I warned ya." Having no apples for bucking since the trees were only in bloom, she led me to another barn further away from the farm house.

"Thanks for giving me a chance. I know I'm nothing special, but I'm not afraid of physical labor."

She just gave me a nod in approval (or possibly a 'yeah, whatever' nod) and opened the large doors to the barn. "If'n you ain't afraid of work, I suppose you wouldn't mind starting with this mess then?" I looked to where she gestured to find that this particular barn housed many animals, not separated by fences or stables. Cows and pigs were allowed to roam free and lie wherever they felt like. There were a few stray chickens in the barn which quickly fled the area when they noticed the farm pony entering. There was plenty of lighting filtering through from the windows and a generous amount of artificial lighting. I noticed several switches for said lighting on the wall in the corner of my eyes.

Both of my eyes. One thing I neglected to remember about pony physiology until that exact moment had been that they were herbivores. Herbivores have a tendency to see quite a bit further than common predators, and especially humans. More specifically, horses had almost a 360 degree viewing angle, and could see (and focus) in two directions at once. However, being human for all of my life, I hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing such vision, and unlike seeing color for the first time, this was not anywhere near pleasant. It was just plain disorienting, and I made a silent vow to never make the mistake of moving my eyes backward again. My neck could turn far enough to lick my own backside, if I so chose, and as long as my eyes were forward relative to my head, they would move in the same direction. It took me a moment before I could figure out how to return them to their original position (which was easier when I stopped thinking about it) and shook away the feeling.

I went back to examining the communal housing unit for what I thought was most of Applejack's farm creatures. I could hear the cows talking in both English and a language I didn't recognize, but sounded awfully familiar anyway, and the pigs responding in the same alien language. They didn't even sound like farm animals at all, and I figured I had my new equine ears to thank for that. I looked around for the 'mess' Applejack mentioned, only to notice that the place was relatively clean. It didn't smell nearly as bad as the few farms I had been to in my life, and everything in general looked well kept for a farm. Then it hit me. This wasn't just any kind of farm. Equestrians must treat their animals with far more dignity than humans did, most likely due to their sentience. I wasn't surprised to hear the cattle speaking a common language, but I was slightly put off by their volume and dialect. It was like nothing I had ever heard before. I searched deeper a second time to look for things that would need cleaning and began to find the small things that one would look for while cleaning up after a pet.

Surprisingly, I found next to no droppings, and I wondered whether there was indoor plumbing in the building, but figured I didn't need to know either way. There were a few other odds and ends I could spot, and I even found the tools for the jobs. I looked to Applejack for directions, which she happily gave. Clearly she was humoring me and testing out my abilities. I knew she wouldn't have a formal application process like Twilight obviously would, but no job was without an entrance exam of some sort. In the end, I had cleaned the barn, moved about a dozen bails of hay, refilled water troughs on several areas of the farm, and was even hitched to a hoe to till a small plot of land. Applejack was surprisingly straightforward in her supervision and directions, and in the end, she welcomed me aboard without any more red tape than a spit-covered hoofshake and a few bits for the short day of work.

"And that's not even half of what a normal day of work will be like later, you hear?"

"Absolutely, thank you again," I nuzzled her gratefully noticing that I had acquired a new scent. "What time do you want me here tomorrow?"

"I won't need you back for some time, but I'll give you a holler when that happens, alright?"

"That works for me," I beamed. "I live at the castle with Twilight and Spike. If you need any help finding me, just ask them. They'll know." I trotted away before giving her a chance to voice any questions or objections. I finally carried a hoofful of bits for spending, or saving up for my own place, and I may as well have been floating from earning my first bits. It had gotten late while I was working, but I still wasn't nearly tired enough to head back to the castle, not to mention I was finally alone. My thoughts raced through all of the things I could try in my new pony body and I couldn't settle on a single one.

I wanted to eat grass, sleep standing up, and most of all, fly! Deciding that two of those could wait, I flapped my wings in an attempt at takeoff. I expected a struggle, or at least a stumble, but it seemed that after hours of skipping, gliding, and trying to do simple tasks like writing with my wings, I had gained relatively good control over them. They seemed so natural, like I had wings for years before attempting takeoff. I was in the air in a matter of moments, and while it was easy to get off of the ground, staying still and hovering was another deal entirely. I adjusted the angles to try to stop movement and I flicked my tail around in frustration, falling from the loss of balance. It made me remember that pegasi used their tails as counterweight for flight, and that they were about as important as a ship's rudder.

Trying another approach to flight, I galloped away down the makeshift runway that the path to Sweet Apple Acres made, I closed my eyes and spread my wings and gave one hard flap to bring me off of the ground and propelling forward at nearly double the speed. At first I felt like I had tripped, but after opening my eyes I realized that I was nearly three meters away from stable hoofing and therefore past the point of no return. I glided for nearly a minute while enjoying the feeling of wind speeding past me and eventually returned to the unforgiving ground. I stumbled a bit, but luckily remained standing. Once more, I repeated the procedure and chose after the initial takeoff to continue flapping.

Each thrust took me even higher into the sky and pushed me even faster as I found myself speeding over Ponyville, reaching the town square in next to no time.

The feeling of my first flight was incredible. I had never been so close to the sky in my life. I had never been in a plane, hot air balloon, or even tall roller coaster. It was never the fear of height that kept me so ground-bound, but instead the mistrust of those forces guiding said vehicles. Granted, I would have never expected a plane to crash, and a hot air balloon seemed safe enough, but I could never afford either money or time for riding in one. Carnival rides and Roller coasters were where I really had problems. I avoided them at all costs for the longest times, and whenever I was dragged into those accursed death traps they dared to call 'rides', I never once lost the feeling that I would be thrown out at an uncontrollable speed and die. I even thought ferris wheels would come unhinged at some point, but I eventually did grow out of it. When I thought of it, I was never a risk taker before. I always stayed on the safe side of town, and always looked both ways before crossing the street. Taking off and flying on my own had never once crossed my mind until the moment I had wings.

I contemplated turning lightly without putting much effort into the actual act. All I really had to do was lean into the turn and the rest of my body would follow through. Movement in the air came so natural to me that I wondered why I ever was afraid of it. I wondered even more why I wasn't so scared when I was in the air. Perhaps it was because I had gotten there and was maintaining control by my own power. I began by drifting to the right, circling around my previous path and heading back in the direction of Applejack's farm. When I reached the side of town neighboring the orchard, I circled again. I glided above the town just enjoying myself for as long as possible, only looking down to make sure I wasn't leaving the Ponyville area and getting lost.

Soon enough, I grew adventurous and climbed in altitude. The clouds remained above my head and an idea came to me when I started smelling my sweat and the nasty farm scent again. I peered into the cloud layer, noticing their intimidating size. I remember once trying to build a cloud city in Minecraft made out of wool and snow, and only discovering when I got that far that the distance made the clouds look far smaller than they actually were. I also remembered that the distance to the clouds from the ground was far more than I previously estimated as well, and tried my hardest not to look back down. A relatively small cloud appeared in my line of sight, and I flew toward it intent on flying through it. Clouds were made of vapor, and surely a quick rinse would get some of the smell off. I didn't slow myself at all as I approached it and soon found myself reeling back from being bounced off of the side.

"What?" I asked the cloud out loud, "Why didn't I just go right through you?" I shook it off, reflexively hovering in place and managing somehow to keep my balance, and tried again. The same thing happened. The cloud basically refused my entry, acting like a giant pillow. At least it had the courtesy to absorb the shock.

"If you're trying to break up that cloud your wasting your time," I heard a gruff feminine voice call out, "it's not supposed to move either. What are you even doing out here? You're not one of the newbie weather team recruits are you?"

I looked back to see a rainbow-maned pegasus folding her forelegs across her chest in disappointment. "No, I was just trying to..." I paused, "actually, I don't know what I'm doing up here. This cloud won't let me through though," I pointed an accusatory hoof toward the cloud.

"I uh, what?" She raised an eyebrow. "It's a cloud, not a palace guard. Just push your way through if you want inside, not that there's anything in there. Why do you want in there anyway? Are you hiding from somepony?"

"No, I was just looking for a quick rinse," I almost whispered. Her eyes went wide and she nearly tackled me.

"NO!" She dragged me tail-in-mouth away from the cushiony vapor and let me free a safe distance away. "Don't touch the clouds with your filthy hooves! You could contaminate the water supply and make the rain rancid," she scolded, "I don't know how things are where you're from, mister, but around here we don't poison the rain with horse stench."

"Sorry, I didn't know. I'm new, I haven't even been a pony for a week," I groveled. She didn't seem to buy it. "No, really! I came through the portal. Please don't hurt me."

Her mood seemed to lighten at hearing that last bit. "I'm not going to hurt you, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Just stay away from my clouds, got it?"

"Yeah, no problem. Sorry I didn't think about it much."

"So what were you just talking about? What portal?"

"You don't know? Remember when Princess Twilight had her crown stolen from her -" I was interrupted by a hoof forcing its way into my mouth.

"What do you know about that? Nopony was supposed to know about that, how did you get classified information? Are you a spy?" I resisted my fangirl urge to squeal in delight.

Hoof still in mouth, the only response I could give was waving my forehooves and shaking my head. Noticing she hadn't given me a way of answering, she removed her hoof from my mouth and prodded, "Who are you? What are you?"

"I'm not lying to you. I'm Wes, and I used to be human. I came through the portal from Earth and it transformed me."

"Human?"

"A pink monkey-like creature with hands and fingers."

"Oh. Weird."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest mare in Equestria and soon-to-be wonderbolt! Maybe you've heard of me." She posed as best she could while remaining airborne.

"Yeah, sure."

"Really?" Her eyes glimmered with anticipation.

"No, not really." I shrugged my forehooves. It wasn't because I wanted to disappoint her or anything, I just knew there was no reasonable way to explain where I heard of her if I said yes.

"Well then, I guess a demonstration is in order, but first you stink. Do you want to wash off at my place? It's right over there," she gestured over her shoulder to a massive cloud I would have otherwise mistaken as a storm cell had it not been garbed in a rainbow waterfall and windows. Remember when I said that the clouds were a lot bigger closer up? Rainbow Dash's house was equally as huge. She had a cloud mansion, and from the outside it looked about half the size of Twilight's castle. I gaped in astonishment. "Come on over, I'll show you around newbie."

Author's Note

First, I want to thank FerretXcon and Bootter (Not on social media) for their ideas to help the beginning of this chapter move along. Ultimately, the end result was going to be the same. Wes needed a job, and he was determined enough to try any and every chore to make any amount of bits whether it be legal or otherwise. I enjoyed the beginning part, but the chores were what got me.

This is what happens when you procrastinate forever and can't come up with good ideas or character development.
*rant*
I realized a bit late in the game that I'm not so good at putting words into Applejack's mouth. Not only that, I have no farm experience aside from being on a few from time to time. I've carried bales of hay and cleaned a few stables, but nothing major. I enlisted the help of my Skype group for the beginning to think of some silly ideas I might want to use later on in the story. i.e. The CMC's "extreme bird watching" and the tree sap line. If you have any comments, criticisms, or suggestions, I would be happy to read them.

Shower

Rainbow Dash shot me a worried look as we landed at her doorstep. "You shouldn't lock your legs like that when you land, newbie. You could get seriously hurt from that."

I gave it a few seconds to sink in that my landings before hadn't been so soft, and while I usually landed with a gallop, I was faced with a quick and vertical landing so I wouldn't run into her door. I more or less just folded my wings about a meter from the floor and dropped. I grimaced, "Thanks."

Rainbow pushed open one of the grand doors to her cloud mansion to reveal the expansive foyer welcoming us inside. "Have I met you before? I feel like I've seen you somewhere," she stated dryly looking back at me.

"No, I've never been to Ponyville before in my life. Why do you ask?"

"You look a lot like a pony I've seen before. Are you sure you've never been around here before? Do you have a brother that looks exactly like you?"

My heart plummeted. I looked back at myself thinking of all of the ponies who looked like me. Before I could see better, I would have been able to compare myself to Big Macintosh, but I knew that idea was out the window because we weren't even the same height. I could tell without meeting him that I would never stand up to the stallion because I didn't even stand much taller than Rainbow Dash herself, a fact I became acutely aware of promptly after meeting her. It was the same situation with Celestia. There was also the fact that anypony else I could think of were either mares or not pegasi. I knew exactly who Rainbow Dash had seen, and my whole world shattered at the thought.

"Aha! I got it! You look just like that cocky stallion who thought he could beat me in a race! He challenged me non stop for three days straight and didn't beat me once. He owes me like a whole week of forced labor for that! He hasn't paid up in full yet. If you see anypony that looks like you hanging around, make sure you tell him that Rainbow Dash is looking for him," she said, elbowing me in the side. I just stood there wide-eyed at the thought that I clearly wasn't the only one who was terrible at racing Rainbow Dash, and that apparently The Great and Powerful Trixie really could interact with beings from other universes. Either that or it had been a gigantic coincidence.

"Okay," I muttered.

Rainbow led me into the foyer and my eyes didn't even get a break from their widened state. If they could have gotten any wider to take in the view, they would have. Inside there were windows that stood a full two pony lengths high on either side. There didn't appear to be any glass or shielding from the elements, but there wasn't really a reason for that. The mansion was over the weather cloud layer. Framing the doorway were two columns, and to the side stood a life-sized statue of a pegasus with goggles in flight. From the ground, I could only see underneath, so its mane was invisible but its tail was styled like Rainbow's. If I were to venture a guess, I would say that it were modeled after her or someone she admired, but it obviously looked custom built and strangely made of stone.

"How does this house stay so high in the air with all of this in here? Is that really made of stone?"

"Of course not," she giggled, "If it's grey, it's most likely made of clouds. Some of them are just a higher density than others, and some are infused with magic. You really did grow up on the ground, didn't you?" I nodded in response, not wanting to state the obvious. She continued, unfazed, "The furniture in cloud houses have to be enchanted so that non-magical objects can rest on them. Cloud beds, wardrobes, pedestals. Speaking of, how do you like that sculpture?"

"You mean this one?" I gestured to the statue next to the door.

"Yup!"

"It looks great, almost manufactured. It looks a bit like you."

"Thanks! I made it myself."

"You what?"

"Yeah, I made that. I made most of the stuff in here, including the house itself. It took me a few years, but when your job is as easy for you as mine is, you get a lot of free time to enjoy yourself with your hobbies. I used to dabble in a bit of sculpting and architecture when I wasn't practicing my stunts to impress the Wonderbolts. Now that I'm a shoe-in, I don't have to spend nearly as much time making stunts as I do practicing general flight technique. It turns out aerodynamics are useful for more than just flight techniques, too. I learned that the hard way when I couldn't find my house one time when it blew away. That's why I have to have all these giant windows."

Impressed by the fact that Rainbow Dash was obviously a deeper pony intellectually than anyone else made her out to be, I was pleased to continue the conversation. "Doesn't that make it less private?"

"Yeah, in a way it does. If anypony were to really try to get my attention while I were asleep, they would only have to fly into my bedroom window. I don't really care for privacy anyway though, so it's not a problem. Nopony ever seems to venture out here anyway. The windows are more for looking out and down than in."

"That sounds really nice. I wish I had a place like this." We had to fly to get to the next level of her house just outside of the foyer. We landed over a balcony, and just like the outside and entrance, the floors were unrealistically soft. Rainbow Dash opted to hover through the hallways, which were like a smaller version of the castles' halls without stained glass in the windows. The house wasn't much to look at, and looked like it was rarely used.

"You could have a place like this if you had the skills to make one. I could teach you if you like," she offered.

"That would be awesome!"

"No problem. Here we are," she said when we reached the end of the hallway. Not a single empty room of hers had a door, including her bathroom. The room wasn't littered with hair care products, makeup, a larger than necessary collection of soaps, or anything else for that matter. Her sink stood upright instead of on the floor like the one in Canterlot and Twilight's crystal castle, and there was a towel hanging to the side of it. It resembled an Earth bathroom in that aspect, but that was where the similarities ended. The room itself was about the size of an average living room. The toilet was the familiar floor model, and the rest of the room was mostly open space. There was a subtle divide after the toilet and sink, and I assumed it was a makeshift shower of some sort, which I had yet to see anywhere in my stay.

"Since you're new and all, I guess you don't know how to use a shower like this. Most ponies just use tubs, but I can't stand soaking, or sitting still. Here's what you have to do," she pulled me further into the room, crossing over the shower divide, landed on her front hooves and bucked the wall, forcing out a flash and crack of thunder which made me flinch. Suddenly, room-temperature water came raining down from the entire ceiling. Rainbow Dash stood with her eyes closed, enjoying the water and eventually addressing me once more, "It will only go on like this for so long, and the water doesn't get very hot, so you have to keep starting it if you want to stay in here for longer. I usually don't take very long-"

Her words dulled while I stared into her stunning magenta eyes. I didn't want to look away, but my damn eyes wandered anyway. They ventured further back her head to her soaking mane, and then down to her body, and finally to her toned flanks. Her coat was only as trimmed as mine was, and as the rain kept coming, it continued to drip down from her fur, which hung down from the weight. I fantasized about licking her clean from mane to tail. I wasn't sure why, but I just did. My wings were starting to extend and I could feel heat in my face and neck. Luckily, the water had cooled me down by some amount. I was suddenly acutely aware that I was naked.

In a shower.

With another pony.

Of the opposite sex.

And it was hot.

With all shame thrown to the wind, my wings shot out to full length on perfect display for the mare to see.

I was ripped from my daydreaming by wing slapping my side. "Can you hear me newbie? Or did you already get water in your ears?" She didn't seem to notice my embarrassment. I thanked my red coloring for not making my arousal clear in my face, and hoped to all that was holy that my wings were the only thing erect. A quick stock of my body could tell me, to my everlasting relief, that they were. I quickly settled down enough to reflexively shake some moisture from my feathers and return them to place.

"No, sorry. What's that?" I asked, feigning a headshake to 'clear the water from my ears'.

"I said the soap is right behind you. Do you need any help?"

"Oh," I looked to confirm the soap's location, "thanks. And no thanks, I think I can handle it."

"Whatever you say, just pass it to me when you're done." She fell to her haunches and patiently observed my fumbling with the soap. I only tried holding it and managed to drop it a record number of times before she finally whipped past me and grabbed it herself. She managed somehow to hold it in only one hoof, and gave a snort before starting to rub me with it. I jumped from the sudden contact without warning, and she just raised a curious eyebrow. I didn't expect her to be so forward. Tartarus, I was simply shocked she was in the shower with me and watching me try to clean myself. It was an experience completely alien to my virgin body, and I didn't know how to feel about my first time showering with someone when they were a pony. The awkwardness was finally reaching the front of my mind, but she didn't seem to notice anything wrong at all.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? I didn't mean to hit a sensitive spot."

"No, it's just," I trailed off.

Don't you dare fucking ruin this, you scrub. You're in the shower with a mare, now you better make the best of it. Don't be a lilly livered little chicken shit!

"It's nothing, sorry. Go ahead."

She hovered over to me and continued slowly. After a while, I managed to utter out, "Thank you." I wished there was something else I could do to thank her for helping me out the way she did. I didn't even necessarily need a shower, and she just took me into her house anyway without a second thought. Come to think of it, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight all treated me with the same hospitality. Even Applejack gave me a chance to work for a few bits without me having any prior work experience. If I could remember correctly, which was much easier since coming to Equestria as a compliment to my other improvements, not a single door had a lock on it. Everything was open to the world, and even Rainbow Dash's mansion, which was presumably filled with her sculptures and other artistic and architectural achievements, was open to vandalism, or unauthorized entry. The ponies seemed incredibly trusting and secure with their belongings. Kindness like that was something I could have only ever dreamed of back on Earth.

"No problem, newbie. You're still going to have to do this yourself eventually, but I don't mind helping out a fellow pegasus in need. Just so long as you don't mind scratching my back too." At that moment she made her way from the lower region of my barrel, cutting away from my private area altogether, and migrated to my withers and wing joints. I shuddered at the feeling as she came to my wings, and instantly they flew outward. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she did that on purpose to punctuate her request.

Wait. I don't know better.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Oh you know, nothing special. A wing massage or two, maybe a roll in the-"

"Hey!" I cut her off, knowing where she was going with that.

"Exactly!"

*facehoof* "I didn't mean it like that, I only just met you. What are you talking about?" My sudden movement away pushed the bar out of her hoof and she just lowered her hoof to the floor, narrowing her eyes.

"I have needs too, Wes. Don't think I didn't notice you staring earlier," she winked.

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshomygosh. My face grew cold and my heart raced. Was I about to get lucky without even trying?

Sadly for me, I wasn't. The second she saw my reaction she fell over guffawing at my reaction. "You should see yourself right now! You really thought I was coming on to you! In the shower, no less?"

I blushed, embarrassed. The water stopped, but my coat was still covered with suds, so I just bucked the wall in frustration to get the water to start again.

"Oh, come on newbie. It wasn't that bad, was it? I was just playing around," she let out a seemingly genuine apology. I rolled my eyes, wings still erect, and once again praying to Celestia that nothing else was.

"Sorry, I'm not used to flirting," I grumbled, "How am I supposed to know if you were serious or not?" Then, low enough for her to not hear I added, "Stupid sexy Dashie."

"Hm? What's that?" She asked, more out of amusement than real curiosity.

"Nothing," I responded sharply.

"I'm pretty sure I heard my name somewhere in there. Would you mind repeating it?"

"I said nothing!"

"No, I'm pretty sure I heard you call me sexy too," she teased.

I tried to growl, but only managed a nicker. I was shocked by the sound I made, but still no more than I was to her response.

"Cheer up, newbie," she nuzzled me. "Sorry for being so forward. You are cute, you know."

My ears perked up, completely disobeying a direct command from my brain.

She picked up the soap and started towards me saying, "Here, let's finish this and get out of here, okay? I don't want to get all pruned before showing you around the sky."

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"Sorry for over reacting. I just," Don't say it bucker! "I'm not used to being a pony yet, and I don't normally shower with others." Good boy.

"That's cool, I don't do that much either, but you said you were new to your body, so I figured you would need some help," she said from behind me. She was being much gentler on my wings than before, and she even seemed to be massaging them and... preening them. Wow, she really did go the extra mile with me. "Plus, you are kind of cute. All joking aside, I really wouldn't mind sharing my bed with you if you want to give it a shot," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Please don't mess with me."

"Wes, I'm serious. You're welcome whenever you like, just so long as you treat me right. Now do you mind?" She trotted around me and faced the opposite wall with her wings spread and facing me. "I need a hoof with this." She didn't hand me soap or anything, so I assumed she just needed a rub or something.

"Do you want me to massage your wings?"

"Yes, that would be great, if you don't mind."

I didn't really know what to do, so I just started the way she had done with me. I rubbed small circles just under her wing joints and worked my way outward. I got to the middle of her right wing and began noticing a few feathers come loose and I plucked them out with my teeth. I felt confident with myself already, but the feeling intensified when she lowered herself to lie down. "That's enough on that side," she pulled her right wing in and waved her left. I repeated my actions on that one, making her sigh and groan in relief. The water had rinsed out all of the soap from my fur and feathers and stopped for a second time. Rainbow Dash made no attempts to move, so I assumed we were done. I stepped out, finding a cabinet built into the wall and opened it to reveal towels inside. I grabbed two with my mouth and trotted back over to the blue pegasus to throw her a towel. I began to dry myself off when I heard her groan, "Dry me too, please."

I didn't protest at all as I finished myself then trotted over to her spot to begin with her. She rolled over and looked at me with bedroom eyes. I nervously looked away trying to prevent my body from reacting.

"Do you wanna just chill here for a little bit?"

"Uhh"

"Good. I'm going to take a nap. You're welcome to join me." Again, she didn't move. The floor below us was oddly dry for both being a shower floor and a cloud, so it made as good a bed as any. It was still a cloud, after all. Thanking the high heavens that I had the opportunity of a lifetime, I settled down next to Dash, who without hesitation, put a wing over me and pulled me tightly next to her.

Author's Note

Sweet Celestia, what have I done?

I Am So Sorry

For once in my short life as a pony, I didn’t awake disoriented and confused. I was strongly aware of my physical body, and my mind was caught up to the real world. My head, neck, and withers were slightly achy from the nap. Judging by all the soreness, I could tell it had only been about an hour or so. From my vantage point, I could see directly out of the bathroom doorway (still in the bathroom, still no door). It was impossible to tell the exact time of day, but I could already tell it was getting late. With no windows in the bathroom itself, and no strange glowing crystals, it was dark enough for one to have to strain their eyes to see. Thanks to my pegasus super-eyes, I could see perfectly fine in the dark, though I knew the darkness well enough to be aware of the feat. Next to me lay Rainbow Dash, a pegasus mare who I had only formally met a few hours ago. Her left wing still wrapped around me from before had not been the only limb to find itself around my own body. My wings were bound by her forelegs, and her other wing rested underneath my barrel. She laid her head on the floor underneath my neck, making it almost impossible to maneuver myself to see her face. She didn’t budge as I began to stir, and I was reluctant to wake her.

My mind screamed at my body in protest, spouting nothing but unwanted directions and orders to let go, wake her, or do anything that wasn’t cuddling with the insanely hot mare using me as her teddy bear. The angry side of my mind had a few words to say to me about that as well. She was incredibly forward about what she wanted, and while I knew intimacy, and probably even a bit of romance was out of the question, she did want physical comfort. That much was clear by her positioning. I remained on my belly while she wrapped her whole body around my own. A strong part of my mind kept telling me how wrong it was to want it, but my body only argued. The weaker side of my mind kept making excuses, and was won over almost completely by my body. It was wrong. I shouldn’t like ponies that way, and I shouldn’t want ponies that way. I knew I couldn’t help what my body told me, but my mind had to be a part of it too. I didn’t care much for what my body wanted as a human, and my mind had to tolerate that. I was beginning to question what I really wanted in life, and realized that the whole argument defeated itself when I remembered exactly who put me in this situation. I had only myself to blame.

It was difficult to grasp that some small part of me as a human truly desired this. I wasn’t into furry creatures before, at least not sexually, but as I came to think of that, I also remembered that I was quite a bit more open minded than most of the other humans I associated with. I relaxed for a moment and took in my feelings. Each physical sensation made me feel comfortable and warm. I wasn’t just pleased with the cuddling, I was also pleased with myself. I could sense the fur all over my body. It was longer and thicker than it had ever been before, and it kept me warmer than my autumn clothes. I didn’t dwell too much on what winters would be like, but I decided to jump off that bridge when I came to it. My face was elongated and my jaw had been enlarged considerably. Strangely, it didn’t make speaking any more difficult, and instead added a few new sounds to my vocabulary. My attempt at a growl earlier had made that abundantly clear. My neck was flexible enough to swivel my head in just about any direction it needed to be, and my ears could do the same. The best feeling of all came from my new, less expected appendages. My wings kept me even warmer than my coat of fur, and they sometimes tickled and made me itch, but they still felt like they belonged.

It would be a cliché to say that I had spent my entire human life obsessed with the sky, but to tell the truth, I had always envied all those with the ability to fly. I would have trained to be a pilot in a heartbeat, and the only thing that stopped me was my vision. I didn’t sulk in the fact that I couldn’t change it, and instead focused on other things. Every once in a while, I would internally comment how convenient wings would make my life, but in the end, I was still able to keep the negative away.

As loud as any voice in my head could yell, another easily defeated them all. You know how sometimes a person, or even fictional character, could make statements so boldly and broadly without having to raise their voice, use colorful language, or even promote themselves? A good example is when a college professor opts to speak softly rather than shouting above the other voices in the room. Without much effort at all, they silence the room and bring all ears to their self as the students know that they shouldn’t miss the lesson. This voice did something similar. Without shouting, and without submitting to the urges of my body, it rested in a dormant part of my stressed mind until such time it was asked its opinion. All it could say, and all it wanted to say was, “This is right.”

Without any further thought, I rolled onto my side, as best I could being bound by the athlete beside me, and returned the prolonged hug. I waited there as she continued her nap, not noticing our situation one bit, and probably not caring. I felt her chest rise and fall in time with my own, and if I were calm enough, I could feel her heartbeat too. It beat a much more relaxed rhythm than my own from years of exercise and work that I had yet to experience. She was much more tolerable in her sleeping state, and yet equally as attractive. She smelled exactly the way you would expect: horse and shampoo, but strangely, that wasn’t a bad thing to my new nostrils. The inner conflict riled up again, but calmed down much faster after the quiet voice spoke once more. Her coat shined beautifully, even in the darkness, and her mane and tail were like explosions of life to the eyes.

Her eyes were deep and stunning in the darkness. They were almost seductive when they were half-lidded like that... wait.

“You like what you see champ?”

“...”

My brain finally understood the situation before catching up to my ears. Dash and I were still entangled with each other, and she made no moves to change that. Summoning as much effort and courage necessary, I managed to pull off something that didn’t make me look like a total noob at talking to girls. I lowered my eyelids in an attempt to mimic her expression and quietly said, “Maybe, but I doubt I like it nearly as much as what you see.” As if to spite her clever timing and quick wit, I threw in a completely called-for wink.

I was rewarded with a wing-slap to the withers, which were much less tense thanks to my inner conflict resolution. “Get up,” she said playfully, unwrapping her wings and freeing me. I rolled to my back, not yet willing to end the embrace, and reached out for her closest limb.

Her closest limb just so happened to be her neck, and even though it wasn’t her center of gravity, it was still as good a place as any to motivate her to tumble right back to the floor, only this time landing on top of me. I’ve watched a bunch of cheesy movies where something stupid happened and the protagonist would say, “It all happened so fast that I couldn’t process it.” This was not one of those times. I watched every minute fraction of a second that I could process in slow-motion as her muzzle descended to my own. Her visage transformed from shock of being pulled to content laughter. I could say it was an accident that our lips touched, but if I were to be completely honest, I would say that I aimed, and I was right on the mark. I saw an opportunity, and without the slightest thought or argument otherwise, I took it. Rainbow Dash didn’t seem to mind at all, either. She even closed her eyes and gripped my muzzle in her hooves.

Adrenaline shot through my veins faster than I’ve ever felt in my life and I shook with anticipation. It felt like I had stuck my tongue in an electric outlet and my body lost control. I fell limp in her grasp as if I had been poisoned or knocked unconscious, but I could still feel everything. She straddled my prone form, and my wings nearly ripped themselves from their sockets. She opted to wrap her own around me while she lowered herself until her chest rested upon my own. I could feel the heat coming from her nethers, and felt an intense sense of dread and guilt flow through me. My heart beat faster with each passing second, and I could easily feel it against my ribcage. With a muffled groan she lowered herself completely until both our lower ends were touching. I could feel myself against her lower body and I knew it was stiffening, but I had absolutely no power over it. My eyes rolled back into my sockets and shut down all senses of sight and hearing, save for the pulsating ringing from my ears. I was getting hotter, and shuddered from my racing heart. I could feel the sweat starting to free itself from my pores and it only made the situation worse. Unlike having clammy hands, my entire body was soaked.

I felt something wet slide across my lips and almost force its way in. Two other muscles seemed to be equally as capable of prying open my mouth to allow what I now recognized as the mare’s tongue entry. It was much larger than a human tongue, though having little experience on even that end with human girls, it wasn’t like I had much to compare to. It freely danced around the inside of my mouth before licking the backside of my teeth and exploring deeper. My own tongue returned the favor instinctively, but the rest of my body didn’t know what to do at all, save for one member which was increasing the volume of its begging. She didn’t mind that part at all, and even ground against it, eliciting a laugh from my gasp. Her hooves traveled up my jawline to my ears, and she rubbed behind them, causing another gasp, only this time much clumsier. Her tongue remained in my mouth and mine in hers, both unconsciously wrestling for dominance while I lost all feeling in the back of my head and neck. There must have been a sensitive spot behind my ears, and it felt like even more jolts of electricity shot through my veins as she continued petting the back of my head.

I was scared shitless for what was going on, and the most intense part hadn’t even happened yet. I regretted my reckless decision to forcibly resume cuddling, as I was not prepared for the consequence.

Finally, after twenty agonizing minutes of petting and kissing, she let go with a content sigh. I just remained on my backside, wings and... other parts... erect, and wide-eyed. I panted heavily, and the ringing in my ears wouldn’t stop. If she had said anything, I couldn’t hear it, and at the moment, I didn’t care. I didn’t care how strong my desire had been, and I felt like I had just made an incredible mistake. The voices were shouting at each other once again, and I let them. The quiet one backed off, and the rest only increased their volume. As my breathing and heart rate slowed, I dozed back off, unable to resist the siren call of unconsciousness.

Author's Note

Apparently AbiWord has both word count and spellcheck, two things that WordPad doesn't have. Which is really nice. Even though it doesn't directly impact the chapter, I felt compelled to say this somewhere, and I hate blog posts. The things that have been taking up my time are building computers, trying to draw, and reluctance to publish utter crap. The upside to the computer thing is that now I can use these amazingly comfy ps2 keyboards that come with wrist rests, rather than the crummy notebook keyboard I've been writing with. So basically, I have a dedicated machine just for fanfiction in case my other stuff breaks. ^_^

Anyway, as the chapter title says, sorry about the end scene. I really just could not help myself. I also need to warm up for any clop stories I may want to write in the future (hint hint), even though I still want to keep this one teen rated. I hope you enjoyed it!

Implying Implications

“Hey! What in Tartarus' name do you think you're doing, newbie? You can't leave me like this!”

“Grbelskej”

“What? I can't understand you, speak up.”

A ton of bricks rested quite contentedly upon my chest and some mystical force bound my limbs to the soft floor. I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud, and blissfully unaware of the torrent of freezing water that was to come when the agitated mare returned.

“Come on kid, we just slept. You can't honestly say you're still tired.”

“...”

“Tartarus, you're so lazy!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed on her way into the hall. More insults and complaints were grumbled, but still light years away from my conscious mind. I could feel myself floating and my whole head was swimming in delight. I knew I had only been this way twice in my life. The first time I had ever felt so at peace and exhausted was after my first kiss. The second was when I had been strangled until I fainted. The observers of both scenes could probably tell anyone that they weren't pretty sights to see, but you couldn't have paid me enough to care. Part of my brain reminded me of the many times people have tried to wake me up in the past, but it wasn't a choice at that point. I could have died happy right there on the shower floor.

A begrudged voice approached from outside, raising in volume as it neared my body. “...all the same, this is why I don't like entertaining stallions.” Before finishing the thought, she flapped into the room, struggling at the door, and knelt down to whisper in my ear. “This is your last chance, lazy colt.”

I almost stirred. I wanted to stir, and tease and nuzzle, but instead I said, “pffbbtt.”

“Bad move.”

*crash*

I thanked Celestia that Rainbow Dash had good aim because if the bolt of electricity had gotten even a centimeter closer, I would have been toasted. My thanks was short lived as her portable storm cloud unleashed its fury of freezing rain.

“I'm awake!” I shouted.

“Not fast enough, slowpoke. Where do you get off turning mares on and not finishing what you started?” Her eyes were shooting daggers, and the stinging I felt in my ribcage was real. I was torn between being in love with her enraged face and being frightened for my life. I lost all spirit and pep, feeling her own variation of Fluttershy's stare cut to the center of my heart. I didn't plan on ever getting so far with a woman in my life, and here I stood, shivering and cold as a result of my hesitation. Thinking back to all the times in my life I've been burned when displaying my affection had made me reluctant to trust anyone with my feelings, and I should have known that right there with Rainbow Dash would be different. Ponies weren't shy or modest at all with their physical affection, and if I was going to exploit that the way I did, I should have at least done what she said and finished what I started. I felt strong pangs of guilt for letting her down, but her scent told me it wasn't too late.

Her expression faded almost as fast as mine did. She seemed genuinely concerned that she had done something wrong. Thankfully, I wasn't crying, but I was pretty close to looking like a scared puppy. “Oh crap, I'm sorry, are you okay? Did the lightning hit you? I swear, I only meant for it to graze you.”

My mouth opened to let out a response, but nothing came.

“Oh Celestia, did I get your brain? Can you still talk at all? …. Can you even hear what I'm saying?”

It was true that she was a bit difficult to hear, but that was mostly because of the persistent ring in my ears. Almost nothing in my life could compare to the volume thunder produced when the lightning was withing a hair's range. I didn't have much to say, so I just recited an inside joke from right before I came to Equestria. “That's not my name,” I quipped.

“What? I know it's not your name. Of course it's not your name. How many feathers am I holding up?” All nervousness gone, and even more confused about my condition, she held up four primary feathers, bending a few more down. I had no idea such a feat was possible, and wanting to try it out myself, I extended my left wing to mirror her movements. I peered over to observe my work without really paying attention to the dopey face I was no doubt wearing. My argument for sanity was losing with every moment I didn't give Rainbow a straight answer. Surprisingly, I was able to mimic her movements, holding out five digits and tucking two in the other direction. Wings didn't feel like hands, but they sure acted like it. It would be a fairly simple task to grasp things in my wings instead of my mouth, and it would probably be at the same difficulty due to my lack of dexterity in my mouth being equal to that of my other limbs.

“Four.”

“Well you're actually holding up five, but you said it right so that's good enough for me. Now dry up and get out of my bathroom.”

“Wait.”

She sighed, “What is it?”

“I'm sorry about all that. I didn't mean to pass out on you.”

“You passed out under me, but I guess I can accept your apology. What were you even doing today that's got you so exhausted? You've been acting like you've never showered before too.”

“I uh,” I hesitated, “I usually shower alone.”

“Really? How?”

“Well, I have a pipe leading into my bathroom that shoots water out-”

“No,” she cut me off, “I mean how do you shower alone? You can't even hold a bar of soap. Did you grow up in a castle or something? Because I already have a friend from Canterlot and she's a handful. Not nearly as bad as Rarity, but still pretty bad. I wonder if it's a unicorn thing.” She emphasized her rhetoric with a hoof scratching her chin. I started shaking the water off of my body and then dabbed around with the towel.

“I used to be human. Didn't I tell you that before? I'm new to Equestria, and I just worked on a farm before coming here.”

“I was wondering why you smelled like horse. So like, do you have a place to stay around here? 'Cuz you can stay here if you want. That is, if you don't mind taking care of a little problem,” she gestured downward. I was dry enough to re-purpose the towel as a cover for my own region in embarrassment.

“I'm actually staying with Princess Twilight, but she won't care if I show up late. She always stays awake for a while anyway, right?”

“You sure you're up for this, newbie?”

“Absolutely. I've been dreaming of this my entire life. I've never been so close before.”

“Promise you won't complain about your wings being sore the whole time.”

“I promise. It can't be that far, can it?”

“Looks can be deceiving Mr. Ambitious.”

I stared at the captivating expanse of night as the daylight star descended beyond the horizon to our left. From the height of Rainbow Dash's home, one could see the nearly the entire town of Ponyville. She could easily spy on at least two of her friends from her bedroom window if she wanted to. From what I had seen, her bedroom window faced the Apples' orchard, the schoolhouse, and Fluttershy's cottage. The three places were nowhere near each other, and more could obviously be seen, but those were the only locations I could manage to identify with what little working knowledge of the town I had to go by.

From the height Rainbow Dash and I were hovering, however, we could see half of Equestria. I was beginning to freeze and my wings were growing stiff already, groaning with each flap. I ignored them in favor of the sight to behold before us. To the northeast I could see a castle embedded into the side of a mountain. I wished I had seen more of the castle, but from what little I was able to explore, I knew that at least half of the castle was carved from the inside of the mountain. It reminded me of Buddhist temples I was supposed to learn about in one of my college art classes, but never bothered to actually pay attention. The difference between the structures was that Canterlot Castle had possessed far greater detail and more masterful craftsmanship, not to mention that the castle could easily be fifty times larger than the tiny halls we studied.

Further in the distance to the northwest, a mass of brightly lit clouds filled at least a third of the horizon. The distance would be physically impossible to clear on foot for more than a few reasons. It was an intimidating size, looking about the relative size of Canterlot to the eye. That meant that it would have had to be significantly bigger than that up close to match the distance which dwarfed it. I hoped that the trip would warm my wings, or at least my body, but for the time at hand, I was freezing. I could see my own breath as I exhaled, but Rainbow was completely un-phazed. I should have known that the pleasant breeze on the ground was just a facade to my new body. Pegasi obviously had to have a higher tolerance to the cold, but I underestimated just how cold it actually got that high. Miniature flakes of snow floated around us between the two cloud layers.

“I can handle it. Let's just go, I'm freezing up here.”

“How can you possibly be cold right now? I've been roasting my flank off down there and now it feels great. Don't be such a wus.” Cloudsdale was still higher than where we waited. That was our destination. I had somehow convinced Rainbow Dash after our fooling around earlier to take me to Cloudsdale. At the time she thought I wanted to go another round, and I had to tell her that I wasn't trying to 'get fresh' with her, and she was more than willing to take me to her old stomping grounds.

My thoughts flickered back to Canterlot from earlier that day. I had run into one of my new friends there, and been invited to knock back a couple drinks with him. Rainbow Dash probably wouldn't mind stopping in Canterlot, and would be overjoyed to meet another winged friend who would most likely be up for adventure. I just hoped he would be off duty for the night when we got there. I was just about to propose we go there when I suddenly heard a familiar voice calling my name in the distance.

“Hey Wes, is that you? Wait up!”

“Huh?” I turned around to find myself face to face with glowing eyes and fangs.

Date Ruined

The lunar guard takes great pride in not only servicing, protecting, and escorting their princess, but also stealth. On a marble floor, it would be impossible to make haste and be silent, much less wearing shoes. The steady clip-clopping around the castles and stone streets was quite obvious, but nopony seemed to turn their head just for clattering hoofsteps. They may opt to swivel an ear or two to detect potential foes, but other than that, they were tuned out. It was one thing that ponies couldn't avoid unless they wore padded shoes, which brought to mind whether or not most ponies were shoed, or even how they wore their shoes. There was a small space under the tip of ponies' hooves with which they could grip things in their own way. That was a skill I was yet to master, but saw demonstrated plenty of times already by both Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Something Rainbow Dash also demonstrated was a way to silence her movement for the most part.

Pegasi were uniquely capable of flight and the benefits that came with it. Unfortunately, even though hovering eliminated the clip-clops of hoofsteps, it added its own recoil. Birds' wingbeats are relatively silent compared to pegasi's. Anypony could hear me if I were to attempt to lighten both my wingbeats and my hoofsteps, and even though Rainbow Dash was far superior at her method of doing the same thing, she fell short the same way.

When the the thestral-like guard approached, something was missing that made my blood run cold. Not a single wingbeat was heard, and the atmosphere was completely undisturbed. If even Rainbow Dash couldn't sneak up on me, how in Equestria could this creature? At his speed, judging from the echo in his voice as he called out to me, there was no physical way he could have not even caused a draft. I was always an easy person to scare in my life, and the inky darkness above Ponyville didn't do my courage or bravado any favors. It was nice to not be alone in my shock, since Rainbow Dash didn't seem to hear him at all. Her leap was nearly as high as mine. With a hoof to my chest to calm my racing heart, I recomposed myself. I wasn't prepared for so much excitement in only one day.

"Holy shnikes, Umbra, you scared the Hell out of me."

Mere centimeters away from my muzzle, the batpony's smirk twisted to a look of confusion. "That's the third time I've heard you say that word, what does it even mean?"

"Snikes?"

"No, Hell. Although I would like to know what shnikes means as well."

"I think he means Tartarus," the prismatic mare interjected, "Who are you?"

"Oh my, your mane is unmistakably familiar. Are you Rainbow Dash?"

The pegasus mare blinked, her boast at the ready, "You got that right! Equestria's best young flier and Wonderbolt recruit! Where'd you hear of me?"

"Are you kidding?" Umbra exclaimed, pushing me out of the way and throwing off my balance a little, "Where haven't I heard of you? My sister talks about you all the time, like she's obsessed with you. I bet she even has a shrine in your honor lying around somewhere."

My ears perked up, "Is your sister by any chance an orange pegasus filly?"

"No, actually. She's terrestrial, why do you ask?"

"No reason, I just had a hunch. I guess I was wrong," I stammered nervously, bringing a hoof to scrach a spot on my muzzle that didn't actually itch. I could have sworn he was about to tell us his sister was Scootaloo.

"Her name is Stellar Drift, and she loves everything about the sky, including its occupants. Especially you, Rainbow Dash. I'm sorry to be so forward, but would you ever be so kind as to meet her some day?”

“Sure, but-”

“My name is Umbra. My humblest apologies for not introducing myself Miss Dash,” he let out with a hoof to his barrel in an improvised aireal bow. He was beginning to lose his charm with me. Anypony who spoke like that was either thousands of years old or a huge kissass. Then again, I could always see my self addressing Rarity the same way. Maybe it was because of the celebrity aura surrounding her. After all, it wasn't like she didn't already have a fan club before becoming a wonderbolt recruit. But how could he have heard of her without living in Ponyville or Cloudsdale?

“Umbra, what are you doing here? Don't you work at night?”

“Usually I do, but Princess Luna is sleeping in this evening and I have the late shift anyway. We usually sucker one of the newbies into waking her anyway. I came to make good on our arrangement. We were going to go out for drinks, remember?” Umbra asked, gliding closer to evelop me in a full-body hug. At first I worried that I had sent the wrong messages in our first meeting, but I figured that it was probably whatever human part of me that remained questioning the customs ponies had. When I thought about it, Pinkie was the only one who matched how clingy this stallion was beginning to be. I glanced to his cutie mark to confirm that they weren't balloons, a heart, or anything involving the violation of personal space. Instead, emblazoned upon his rump were two matching marks of the moon and a conal shadow following behind with a red dot at the very point of the cone. I tried not to rationalize the dot for as long as I could stand and instead focused on what he just offered.

I awkwardly glanced between him and Rainbow Dash as I considered my choices. I could have easily just asked if one could accompany the other with me to either place. On one hoof, there was Cloudsdale, a floating city made of clouds where pegasi roamed and the weather was perfect no matter what the season. On the other, there was Canterlot, the city of royalty and nobles, with streets of cobblestone and marble. Both places probably had their own form of entertainment, but more importantly, they probably both had bars, clubs, or wherever it was ponies went to enjoy a drink.

“Wait, how did you know where to find me? Not that I'm hiding or anything, but I didn't exactly tell anypony where I was going.”

“Let me tell you, Wes, you're not an easy pony to find. I stopped by the castle, hoping you were there, but Princess Twilight said she hadn't seen you all day. I asked around town and anypony who had seen you didn't know where you disappeared to. I was just about to head to the farm where a small dragon said you would be when I saw Rainbow Dash and I didn't want to miss an opportunity to say 'hello' from her biggest fan. Then I noticed you here too. Talk about win-win, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I really was excited to see Umbra, but after everything with Dash, I was hoping to make the night a just-the-two-of-us kind of thing. I didn't harbor any ill will towards Umbra, I just didn't see a “date” as a three-pony activity. Either way, it seemed that Dash was already on top of things.

“That's awesome! I love my fans, and I love cider. If you're paying, you can tag along with us to a bar I know in Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash said, winking at the guard.

“Sure, that sounds great! You don't mind me tagging along, do you Wes?”

Hesitantly, I threw on a fake smile and answered, “Not at all! Now I get to spend time with both of you!”

Author's Note

Sorry for a short update after such a long wait, but as many of you can probably see, I've been working on other stories for a while and this one kind of wandered to the back burner. So this is the not-so official update.
For those of you looking forward to seeing this story through, I do not plan to disappoint you. I will finish this, and I won't post an ending I don't like. (That doesn't mean it's close to the end now.) Hopefully, the rest of this story can be better. I'll post chapters as I come up with them (This one was supposed to be much longer, but I've been growing impatient with my inactivity on this site and the other projects I'm working on are taking quite a bit of effort not to post. This was sort of a test to see if the docx uploader was live too. It's not. )
Anyhow, if you're interested in reading some of my other stories, I recommend Dragon's Destiny. It's my favorite of all of my work not that that means much, and I think it's the highest rated. Sorry for the shameless self-plug, but this story isn't going to be updated as quickly as before.

All that said, what I'm working on now is going to be at least ten times better than this story, and I'm working ten times harder just to make that happen. With any luck, you'll see them on my page within a day or so.
Thank you all for reading, and you guys are awesome for that. :heart:

Regrets

I felt naked, and not just because I wasn't wearing clothes; although that might have had a lot to do with the matter. The night sky was dark enough to make the horizon invisible. The only signs we weren't on the verge of crashing into the ground from misdirection were the clouds we idly passed through. The two more experienced fliers kept pace with each other ahead of me, chattering about the Wonderbolts and which pony was a bigger fan. They made me feel transparent and less important. They each were living their dreams as far as I could tell, and I was yet to even grasp the big things in their world, let alone relate to them. I knew that Celestia brought the sun and Luna the moon. I knew which princesses ruled over which domains to some extent, but not about the others. Were there others? Could there really only be four princesses of Equestria, or was Equestria just one nation with a few rulers?

As we passed through cloud after cloud, I considered the many questions I should have asked upon arriving. I knew all manners of hoofshaking and wingslapping, where appropriate. I learned about common etiquette and untranslatable phrases, even picking up some body language along the way. I wasn't practiced in flight, but I wasn't bad either, it was like it came naturally to me. Controlling weather was even within reach after Rainbow and Umbra finally told me that I could only manipulate clouds with my hooves and mouth, and the act required conscious effort to do. Of all the things I knew and all the fantasies I was living, I still felt empty and cold. I wasn't unfamiliar at all with the feeling I was getting, and the more I thought about it, the worse it would get. Actively avoiding the thoughts didn't help much either, and as the sinking in the pit of my stomach increased, I slowed down to be left in the dust of my new companions.

Who was I to think that I could just leave my home and not feel sick at all? For years, all I cared about was leaving to make a new life for myself. Whenever I had to spend an extended period of time away from my family and friends, I found distractions easily enough to never get the opportunity to miss them. I lived for the moment no matter what I was doing, and I never lingered on negative thoughts or homesickness. Even with all of the strength and callousness built against my fellow humans, I still felt guilty for leaving them behind. Kanon didn't deserve to be left alone in an unfamiliar city with nothing but what she needed for the trip and no way to explain what had happened to me. I even had the audacity to renounce her name and pretend she was somebody, nay, somepony else in order to feel like I could trust her.

Throughout my meeting with Luna, the last thing on my mind was the friend whom I had addressed by the diarch's pet name for the past few years. For all I knew, she could have been admitted to a mental institution after seeing me disappear through a statue, or she could have been arrested for trespassing.

I wanted to fly back through the portal to see her again, to make sure she was okay, but I also wanted to hide from her if she were. Of all my friends over the years, she had listened to my crazy harebrained schemes. She was the closest to consider my disappearance, and she would have been the first to know something was up if I just stopped calling one day. Granted, she and I weren't very close, but she was the only one who agreed to take me as far without second-guessing my motives. The truth was that I had something to hide from, and I had a place to run. Sure it was immature, but a life of fear was not one worth living. Here I could be free from the stresses of life and I could live my own life. Here was where I belonged, and here was where I decided to stay, but I still wasn't fully convinced that I had made the right choice.

“How are you doing back there?” Umbra called back to me. My pace had slowed considerably, and I had fallen behind quite a bit.

“Do you need to take a break?” Rainbow teased condescendingly.

I quickly caught up and kept pace with the duo, composing myself to not give off any negativity. “Sorry.”

Rainbow Dash smirked. “Are you sure you don't need a breather? We're not even halfway to Cloudsdale. It's probably past your bedtime anyway.”

I refused to respond to her attitude and simply flew towards the only visible light source in the sky other than the stars and moon.

[Somewhere in Canterlot]

There came a whisper from a dark room. “Max? Max, where are you?”

“I'm over here,” responded another hushed voice in a lower and calmer tone.

“Do you have a flashlight? I can't move my arms at all.”

“Yeah, hang on... and close your eyes.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it. I think I know why you can't move your arms.”

A pause hung in the air, followed by several vibrating noises and the room became bathed in a radiant white light.

“Don't move,” Max said as he watched the other griffon struggle under their bindings. Her wings were mostly free, save for the bases which were restrained tightly to the back by a dark purple fabric secured in the center by small metal clasps. Max crept across the dark room, leaving his torch on the ground, and unhooked the bindings. He was quickly greeted by a wing forcing itself across his face.

“What the hell are you do-” The griffon's voice became lost as she processed the scene which had unfolded before her. As far as she could tell, a man had just unclasped her bra and she slapped him in response. It was somewhat close to what actually happened, but she still couldn't believe what she saw. The creature who she thought had violated her personal space was in fact a griffon, and the appendage he was assaulted with was shedding white and brown plumage. She could swear her vision was also being obstructed by feathers hanging from above her face, but she knew that couldn't be right.

“It's okay, Kanon. It's me. Your bra was constricting your wings, and that's why you couldn't move them. Are you alright?”

“...” Kanon's beak hung open for a moment as she tried to take in the fact that a freak of nature was talking to her.

“Kanon, talk to me. What's going on?” Max tried to struggle out of his own shirt to stretch, but ended up tearing it apart instead. “Shit, I liked that one.” He was more careful with his pants, which he was sure he would need later, and successfully pulled them off without tearing the already worn fabric. His shoes were nowhere to be found and his socks were already shredded before he could get to them. He peeled the remaining fabric off before strolling to his friend and comforting her.

“You're going to be fine, let's just get this done and get out of here. Okay?”

Kanon barely registered his words and hugged him closer, still horrified at what she had become. She simply nodded in agreement before he let go to retrieve his phone that was serving as their torch.

“We should probably get out of here before someone finds us. I don't see any guards around, so now's the best time to act. Can you move?”

“I... I think so.”

“Those pants are only going to slow you down. I promise I won't look at your dirty bits, but we have to go now, and we have to hurry before this thing closes.”

“But-”

“Sh! Someone's coming, hide!”

Cider

“I'm back, and I brought cider!”

I'm taken aback, “that was fast. How did you know what to get?”

“You know, it's kind of funny. I was actually going to ask for a few mugs of 'shine but the bartender insisted that I wanted cider. I think there might be something wrong with everything else. Is this usually what it's like, Rainbow?”

Rainbow snickered and shot a knowing glance in my direction. “You know it!”

“-And you like it here?”

“Heck yeah, this place is second only to Sweet Apple Acres when it comes to their drink!” Rainbow proudly announced while taking a mug from Umbra, who had somehow managed to carry three pints of strong smelling beverage under his forelegs without spilling a drop.

“By the way, I think the bartender knows you. She said something about a more than generous tip you gave last time. I have no idea what she was going on about, but I think she has a thing for you.”

Rainbow craned her neck to see behind Umbra and me, and gave a stealthy wink. Curious, I turned around, needing to hook a foreleg around the back of the booth behind Umbra to see. Behind the bar was something I hadn't expected to see walking on clouds. The bartender wasn't a griffon, pegasus, bat, or even cloud-walking unicorn, but a seemingly adolescent winged dragon... who was waving a claw and winking back. I quickly sat back down to avoid being caught rubbernecking, but feared I was too late. Wanting to change the subject, I opened up with the usual casual conversation starter.

“So, do either of you play video games?” Realizing far too late the ridiculousness of the question, I facehoofed at my faux-pas.

“Please don't tell me that this is going to be a regular occurrence. I don't think Twilight would appreciate being the princess of immigration as well as friendship, magic, and whatever other vague concepts we can come up with. She'll begin to suspect something is 'up' as the young ponies are saying now.”

The solar diarch patiently sipped on her tea as her sister spoke.

“Unless you wish to house them here?”

Celestia didn't respond.

“Surely, you do not wish for us to throw them in the dungeon... do you?”

“...”

“Sister?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“Please give me some sort of acknowledgment. This is the second time this has happened, and there are more this time. They're not even ponies, which only complicates things more. If the griffon embassy hears wind of this, it may not be easy to keep the portal a secret. This could tear a whole in the already thin fabric of diplomacy. I have seen the changes you have made in my absence, and while I can agree with most of them, I still feel a revolt in the midst. Can you not understand that this could turn into a crisis?”

Celestia finished her cup of tea and forked the remains of the peach cobbler she was having for desert into her mouth. She deliberately took her time with the actions ensuring that her sister would have to wait just that much longer. Impatience was growing evident on her face, and she could tell that Celestia was only testing her temper. Luna attempted to remain firm, but only succeeded to scrunch her muzzle in doing so. Finishing her dessert, Celestia finally answered the younger sister's pleas.

“The reason the portal was kept a secret in the first place was to prevent creatures of chaos and disharmony from reaching worlds that were not under our control. If we are so worried about the political matters here, how can we impose ourselves on the beings of their world? If they have found a means to travel hear of their own volition, they should be free to do so, as we have chosen to observe them in the past. Even you remember how fond our previous mentor was of this land without magic, don't you?” Luna nodded. “Besides, we can let the griffons deal with their own affairs before taking on that of these new immigrants. I am sure that eventually they will find out, but until then, why not enjoy this opportunity to observe these creatures here? There are things to be gained from both sides if you'll step back to see.”

“What about your student, Twilight Sparkle?”

“I have told you before, Luna. She is not my student any more, but our peer. If we treat her as any less, then she will ultimately fail to realize her potential. As for her duties and title, there's a saying the Earth ponies have. 'We shall cross that bridge when we come to it.'”

“Fine, but know that this is not over. Prolonging the inevitable does not prevent it from happening. Also, I do believe that it is your duty to deal with them this time around. I have night court to attend to, and apparently there is already unrest about Ponyville's more recent 'natural' disasters.”

“I've heard of Metroid before! I've never played it, but Scootaloo's one friend swears that it's one of the greatest of all time!” Rainbow Dash bounced excitedly in her seat. I couldn't tell if it was the cider or if she actually thought any bit of what I said was interesting. Maybe it was both, or maybe she needed to use the restroom. I briefly wondered how the restrooms worked in cloudsdale, but shook the thought away.

Umbra seemed more legitimately intrigued. “So your world has so many similarities with ours, that even the names of things are similar?” By some miracle, my conversation starter wasn't quite as useless as I had suspected. Video games were a thing in Equestria, and even though Dash and Umbra had never played any before, they prided themselves in being able to name games that sounded similar to the ones I had listed. Unsurprisingly, they were almost all horse and dragon puns, save a few with more unique names like Metroid. Some even had names that weren't even creative puns, but just cheap ripoffs of others, like Pony Fantasy. Even board games had similar naming schemes, each with a more laughable title than the next, like Monopony and Dungeons & Manticores. The list went on, but the more we talked, the more it became obvious that their electronic industry hadn't advanced to nearly the level that Earth's had, and some titles were simply unheard of. It was also obvious that modern things like video games hadn't been around for very long, as most ponies saw them only as a waste of time, and very few ponies even cared about them. Rainbow Dash, despite never playing them, seemed to know a lot about them, but only through her younger friends. Umbra hadn't even known they existed before I brought them up. “How do they even work in your world if you don't use magic for any of it?”

I thought for a moment, carefully putting together a response. “I suppose in a way, we have our own magic. It's really hard to explain how electronics work, and I'm no expert on them by any means, but from what I've seen so far, your magic and our grasp of technology are very similar in that regard.”

“I see. So in your world, does everyone play these magical games?”

“Some do, some don't. Most people just have so much free time on their hands that they don't know what to do with it, and through games they can live out adventurous lives where they can be anything they want. It's also a way to be closer to people who live further away.”

“That sounds great, but why can't they just be who they want to be anyway?”

“Things aren't always that simple there. Since there's no magic, things are quite a bit more difficult. For one, people don't magically know what they're good at just by doing it one time. It's usually a soul-searching process that can even take entire lifetimes. Most people don't know what they want to be until it's too late, and then they're stuck doing something they hate. Others never find out what they want to be or even if they want to be.”

“If they want to be?”

Rainbow sat across the table watching our conversation unfold and take a slightly darker turn, but didn't seem to follow completely. Umbra was still waiting for a response, but I wasn't sure if I wanted him or Rainbow to hear it. Luckily, Rainbow had reached the bottom of her first glass of cider and got up for some more, leaving me with just Umbra within earshot. The rest of the bar was quiet, and the late hour ensured that very few people were out and about socializing. A few tables and booths across the room were occupied by small groups and couples who glanced over every now and then to gawk at the sight of a bat-winged pony and his blank-flank companion. Just to be safe, knowing how well pony hearing could be, I leaned over and whispered to Umbra.

“Mental disorders are so common among humans that they often go undetected for long periods of time. I'm sure there's a similar situation here where a pony is unable to fulfill their destiny, is there?”

Umbra whispered back, “I've only heard of a few cases of that, but only in passing. Those cases are very rare, but they happen. It's never a good thing.”

“It happens quite a bit to humans, and with nothing but time to think about that, they often go insane and cause harm to themselves.”

“That's horrible.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, “If only you knew just how much of a burden a blank flank could be to a human. Those fancy butt-tattoos you have are a blessing. What does yours mean, if you don't mind me asking?”

“My cutie-mark? I don't mind you asking at all. Ponies love being asked about their talents!” He gestured to the burning rocks on his rump, “This is actually a symbol for Ragnarok, the end of time. They're meteorites burning up in atmosphere.” His eyes met with mine as he noticed my cold stare. “Don't be startled, I'm not evil or anything. Ragnarok is just my name, and the symbol isn't meant to be interpreted directly. It actually represents my passion quite well. You see, I am a night guard, but I'm also an astronomer. I've studied Luna's night sky long before her return, and I excitedly awaited her return. Not so that Nightmre Moon would reign again, but so that Luna could be brought back and I could finally see her sky once more.” At that point in the conversation, Rainbow returned with three more pints of hard cider, holding them the same way Umbra did when he brought them the first time.

“More cider, colts?”

“Actually, I had something else in mind, if you're alright with that.”

Rainbow glared back at Umbra.

“Oh, don't worry, these drinks won't go to waste.”

Regrets

“Is it okay for him to eat that?” Rainbow queried. “You know what it is, right?”

“Yes, I know exactly what it is, and I know he'll love it, now hush.”

I feel something cold on my tongue and close my mouth around it once I'm sure Umbra's wing is clear. The ponies had me close my eyes to try something, and I gained no hints from the smell as my nostrils were covered as well.

“Now chew.”

I immediately realized by the texture and flavor what I had just bitten into. “Sushi?”

“That's right! You have that back on Earth?”

“Some of my friends can't get enough of the stuff, but I'm not so crazy about-” I trail off, feeling a burning sensation on my tongue. The prankster put way too much wasabi on it, making it the second spiciest thing I had ever tasted. The spiciest had been something I confused for a string bean once at a Chinese buffet. To this day, I'm still not sure what I actually ate.

I tried to wash away the sting with my cider, but it wasn't my best idea. That only made it burn more. Umbra started snickering and Rainbow Dash was already doubled over in a fit of giggles. The young dragon lady from the bar was mysteriously standing by with a pitcher of water and a few glasses. She generously poured me one after another until I recovered some feeling in my mouth, then returned to the bar, rolling her eyes and saying something in a tongue I didn't recognize.

“Was it too intense for you?”

“No, it was quite refreshing, thank you,” I replied sarcastically. To which Umbra snickered some more.

“Sorry friend. Honestly, it was an accident, I just didn't want to make you wait so I left it there. I'll make it up to you somehow, or you'll just get me back.”

“If he ever has enough time to,” Rainbow interrupted.

“What do you mean?”

“He's from the portal, that thing is only open for 3 days at a time, every 40-”

“30.”

“… 30 moons. He's going to have to go back sometime soon, isn't he?”

“Actually, I've been wondering the same thing. Celestia made it seem like you had all the time in the world. She even set you up with 'temporary' living quarters outside of Canterlot. Frankly, I'm surprised you even made it out of the Crystal Empire without being sent back. How are you going to make it back?”

“I don't plan to,” I reply coldly.

Both ponies give pause, then Umbra begins again.

“What do you mean you don't plan to?”

“Failure to plan is planning for failure. Don't make a fledgeling mistake and end up stuck here forever,” Rainbow said. They were stunningly wise words to come from pegasus who never seemed to pay attention to those sort of things.

“She's right, Wes. Vacations can't last forever. Sometime you do have to go home.”

“This is my home now.”

“No, Wes. You don't get it. Home isn't simply where you decide it is. You have to make more than just a conscious decision that somewhere is your home and it be so. Home is where your family is. It's where your heart belongs.”

“Exactly. I'm not going back to a place where I'm not wanted. I want to be surrounded by ponies that care about each other and get along without some ulterior motive. I told you how bad my home was, didn't I?”

“No, Wes. You didn't. I get that some bad things may have happened to you in the past, but you have to leave them there. I can't believe that your home life was so bad that you had to leave the planet just to get away. I refuse to believe that. Did your parents beat you?”

“…. No.”

“Then what was the problem, Wes? There's something you're not telling us.”

At that statement, Rainbow began to fidget nervously.

“I...” I was at a loss for words. Earth was a terrible place to live, how could I convince them?

“For the love of- Wes, if you tell me that this was about a girl, I swear to Luna I will make you regret it.” Umbra rested a hoof over his muzzle.

“It's not,” I hastily answered. “Not entirely, at least. Hear me out.”

“Look, Wes. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. The sun sets, and the rain clears. We have our separate nations and we have our own problems and affairs with them. The world isn't just some big ball of fluff like you make it out to be. If everything were perfect, wouldn't you think something was a little off? Something's off with you, Wes, and I can't put my hoof on it.”

Rainbow sipped her drink quietly, blushing.

“The royal guard isn't just some flashy front the princesses put up to show off power to the other nations. We serve a purpose, generations old. Even the lunar guard hasn't been idle this whole time. Believe it or not, Equestria's biggest threats don't live in the Everfree Forest, or even in Tartarus. Keeping peace and running a country is exactly as difficult here as it is anywhere else. I wish there was something I could do to convince you that what you're chasing does not exist. Escapism is only the beginning of something even more frightening, and I don't want to keep the company of a mentally unstable pony, especially in the presence of my princess.”

I remained silent.

Umbra heaved a sigh. “At least tell me this; what's so great about seeing a city in the clouds first-hand if your mind has already been here for so long?”

“It's complicated, Umbra. You wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.”

“I've never been able to fly before.”

Umbra cut me off, “Boy, I bet that's exciting. What did you give up for that?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, I should have remembered that you used to be a unicorn. But you know yourself! You had magic. Magic is such a beautiful thing!”

“From what you told me before of your electricity, it's not much of a sight. Surely you miss something from home?”

“My hands, maybe, but they're a worthy sacrifice.”

“What about this?” Umbra asked pulling a flat black box from hammerspace and hoofed it over.

“To be completely honest, I forgot about this thing. I swore I destroyed it before coming through, or at least shortly after. Where did you get it?”

“I was entrusted to deliver your effects from Canterlot. Princess Twilight herself labeled this as a communication device. I don't personally see the draw to it, but she seemed to have an interest in it. She said she's never seen a human let one out of their sight, and it was important to their social well-being.”

“She would be right, though I can't see much of a use for it here without a signal.” On a whim, I pressed the button on the face, unable to find the dexterity to press one of the small side keys. The screen lit up revealing that I had 7 new messages, which was strange considering there was obviously no way for a signal to reach anywhere in Equestria. I put in my pin code with a wing, which took several tries, then checked the messages. All were from 3 people, all saying about the same thing.

*Where are you?*

*What happened?*

*Are you okay?*

And then the last one… from my oldest friend.

*We're coming*

“No.”

“What? What is it?” Rainbow asked, peering over to the device.

“They're probably here by now. I can't let them find me.”

“Now we're getting somewhere!” Umbra announced triumphantly. “Now, can you please tell me what it is that's got you this spooked? Talk to me. I promise I'll understand.

“Umbra, this place is heaven to me. This is the paradise I couldn't have even dreamed. Your world has its dangers, just like mine has its, but I want to get away from my past. I made mistakes, just like everyone else has, and I don't want them haunting me for the rest of my life. I just want to start over new, and I can't do that with my past demons always looking over my shoulder. I have to destroy this, and I can't let them find me.”

“Wes, I don't know what any of that gibberish you saw on there meant, but I know it's affecting you. I need to know what it is.”

Silence.

“Wes!”

“My friends are looking for me. They want to take me back there, but I can't go.”

“Why not? They clearly care about you, and you care about them enough to call them your friends.”

“Because they won't ever chose to stay here with me. They want their own lives and I want mine, but they're not satisfied with just letting me live mine.”

“Do you even know what you're saying? You're telling me that your friends would go across the multiverse to find you, and you're just going to shovel it right back into their faces? What's wrong with you?”

“You don't understand.”

“No, you don't understand!” He huffed, “Here, family and friends are important. If you can't accept that sometimes they might know what's best for you, then how can you expect to fit in here? How could you possibly be like one of us if you're constantly running away from those bonds and relationships? You're a coward, Wes, and it's time you face this. I'm willing to help you, but I can only do so much. You need to figure out what it is that you're so afraid of, and put it into words. Not for any of us, but for yourself. It's time to stop running, and face the facts. Life is life no matter where you live it and you can't escape heartbreak.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I know what you're running from. I've known it since the moment I met you, but you still can't say it yourself. Be it a death in the family you can't come to terms with, a relationship that ended badly, or even a quarrel with a sibling, nothing is worth giving up your home and your family. I don't know what it is you're struggling with right now, and I'm not sure if I want to, but if just the thought of it scares you this much, I would hate to see you face it alone. And that's why you can't just sit around here sipping mugs of cider with ponies you just met. You need to go home, wherever that is. You need to make peace with yourself and stop running. I don't care if you come back or not, I just want to know that you're going to do whatever it takes to make this right, and not regret your decision.”

I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't explain the emotions running through me just then, but it felt too familiar. He knew. He read me from the moment we met, and didn't say anything that whole time. Instead of seeing just the positive exterior, he saw the scared child hiding behind the mask of an adult. And yet at the same time, I felt a strong bond forming between us. If I did exactly what he said, it would mean the end of anything we could have had together, but deep down I knew that he would want what was best for me. He was right, and there was no way left for me to fight it.

“Some fight,” I thought. I didn't even bother to assert my point. I didn't try to lie or dodge it, I legitimately believed that I was in the right that whole time, and in only a few minutes my whole world was turned upside down and reality torn asunder. There were no tears, though. I was equally scared as I was determined, and it was likely I was showing both. I know Umbra could see it. Dash was harder to read in her inebriated state, but it was likely she saw what looked like a child about to let loose a torrent of emotion. I didn't, but she still looked on me like I were a lost puppy. Umbra still wore a stern expression, as if addressing a potential threat to his sovereign.

I still didn't want to leave, but what choice did I have? My friends were coming for me, Umbra could see right through me, and I was a complete amateur with wings. Like he said, there was no escape.

Author's Note

At the risk of telling too much in the author's notes, I would like to say that it was my intention for quite a while for the story to take a turn in this direction. I know this chapter is written with a bit more dialogue and exposure than the others, but it has been coming for a while, and every once in a while I have to remember to stop and ask myself the same question: "What am I running from?"

Anyway, sorry for not updating for so long. Life has had me pretty busy for a while now.

Adria

“Damn wise-guy pegasi always havin' their heads in the sky and still knowing when to come back down to earth,” I grumbled to myself. I had made my way out of the bar after wrestling with Umbra over the tab. He eventually won, but all three of us had a chat with the bartender before we left. Her name was Adria, and she was as excited to meet a Lunar guard as I was to meet a dragon. Adria was one of Dash's old friends from flight school. She was actually one of the instructors while Dash was a filly, so Adria was much older than her appearance led on. She had a foreign accent that made her sound really cute when she talked because she was from the griffon country, which explained the name of the bar. She bought it herself, owned and operated it for over 30 years, along with coaching young pegasi and a few other odd jobs. This dragon rarely slept, although whether it was because of dragon physiology or her own personal choice was a mystery to me. She seemed fairly interested in me, as well, but only because I was an adult and blank. I never told her where I came from, or where I was staying, but she seemed confident we would meet again and we could both exchange stories about our strange lives.

After we left the Dragon's Den, we all split up. Umbra wanted to go back to the castle for some reason, and Dash reluctantly went home after I convinced her I would be fine alone for the night. If anyone asked, she said she would just tell them that I would be coming back to Ponyville the next morning and leave it at that. I needed to think, so I wandered around on hoof for a while admiring the cloud district we landed on earlier. The Dragon's Den was across the freshly beaten path from what appeared to be the griffon embassy. There wasn't any print on the building, but the flags and busts made all clear. Not far down the road was a standard-looking cloud building with many windows and an extravagant entryway. I walked inside, hoping to confirm my suspicion, only to be greeted in a language I didn't understand. When the pony at the desk recognized my expression, she cleared her throat and spoke again in Equestrian.

“Welcome to the Stray Sheep. Have you already booked a room with us?”

I hesitated. Even though I was in my version of paradise, I was still incredibly shy in professional situations. I put on my poker face, and thought through what I was going to say carefully before speaking.

“No, I haven't, but would it be a bother to ask if you have any rooms available?”

“Not at all, sir. We have plenty of available rooms starting at four-hundred bits per night. Do you have a preferred floor or view?”

“Er...” I remembered that I still had bits from working at the farm, but not nearly that much. “Sorry, I don't have the bits for that.”

The mare just smiled and waved me off. “That's alright, we hope you can enjoy our accommodations some other time.” With that, she returned to the ledger on the desk.

I was crazy to have wanted to sleep in a hotel that night anyway. For all I knew, the portal was closing the next night and my friends were out to get me. Sure, it would be difficult to find me, but that still wasn't any reason to waste what little means I had to get by on a place to sleep for the night when a nice cloud would do just fine. However, the air outside was chill and I was reluctant to go back out there and exhaust myself more by flying back to Ponyville. I took a seat in one of the plush chairs in the lobby, hoping not to be noticed by the mare working the desk. I didn't know where to go, what to do, or when to do it. I didn't even know what I wanted to do anymore. I was on the ropes from the night of flying and the drinks I had with my new friends. I still had some bits and my recently re-acquired cell phone in the coin bag strapped under my wing.

Spike was a great help before when it came to holding things and telling me where to keep my belongings. A purse would have been too cumbersome, not to mention feminine and in this world, out of place. Pants were out of the question with them restricting my movement and crushing my tail, so I didn't have pockets. Under normal circumstances, I doubt a pony would tell me where they kept their bits. Spike reassured me that I was correct to ask only him. “If I don't ask them where they keep their bits, they don't ask me where I keep my quills,” he said right before he divulged his personal pocket dimension. “For now, just use this,” he told me when he gave me the bit pouch.

I tugged at the string to loosen the opening and pulled out my phone. Laying it down on the table I read through the messages one last time. Most of them were from Kanon. I glanced at the picture of Luna at the end of the speech bubble and regretted not having taken any real pictures of my friend before leaving. I hadn't even hoped to see any of my old friends again, and yet there they would be soon, lecturing me on what is really important and how I shouldn't run away without telling my family. Two other messages were from Max's sister, Stef. Stef would normally be the adventurous one in this situation, and she was the most promising candidate for aiding in my escape. She probably would have even come with me if she had the chance, but she was working through the week and had been recently dealing with her own life spiraling out of control. She was always focused on her job and getting out of the house and state. If she could, she would even try to flee the country or even planet, just like me, but her job was looking promising and she was being considered for a promotion. If only her boss had better timing, she could have been the one coming after me instead of her older brother.

The last message was from Max, sent not even twenty minutes after the first message Kanon sent. All it said was, “We're coming.” Max never screwed around when it came to typing messages to anyone. Unless he was being facetious, he would write in full sentences, punctuated, and with no inflection intended. He always said exactly what he meant, and was serious about every word. I could tell without a shadow of a doubt that he would be the first to find me out of anyone. He was the most intuitive friend I had, and the one who had always known me the best. Max was my best friend and I hadn't even said goodbye before just up and leaving him behind. I had no idea how I would respond to him when he found me, and he would find me. I didn't know who else was with him, but I hoped it was as few people as possible.

I knew if I wanted to dodge them, it would be easy. They would have flanks as bare as mine, and it was likely that I would see them before they would see me, even if they had the same eyesight advantage I did. I would know my way around better and they would look like measly tourists wherever they went. I had almost two days over them, and they would be tied up for at least half a day with the royal welcome. I just had to think about where they would check first and stay as far away from that place as possible.

Unfortunately, that place was probably Cloudsdale.

I took a deep breath and held it for a moment, wanting to just be done with all of life's drama. I just wanted to be free, and as always, something had to follow me. Some part of my past always had to haunt me.

“Well hello, stranger.”

The voice broke my concentration and startled me out of my seat. Plumage flew in all directions as I flinched away from the dragon I met earlier. She sat calmly on her haunches, with her claws on the ground, having the appearance of a naturally quadrupedal dragon. She didn't even blink when I flinched away, and simply wore a warm smile until I answered.

“You scared the lights out of me, Adria! Where did you come from?”

“Where do you think?” she responded in a level tone.

“Sorry, I was just startled, I didn't hear anyone come in.” I usually didn't have my back to the door either, but there I was.

“I thought something was up. You looked like a lost puppy when we met in the bar, and all stray sheep end up wandering into one place or another. I'm surprised I found you at the first place I looked. You're very transparent, Wesley.”

“I didn't say that was my name,” I retorted apprehensively.

“You didn't say you were human either, but that doesn't mean I didn't know it. I've been to a few barbecues in my time. I haven't seen one of your kind in ages, so I have to wonder how you got here. And more importantly, why?”

The room began spinning. There wasn't any way she could have known what she did without someone telling her, and I could bet my last bits it wasn't the party that accompanied me to the bar. Something about how she asked me made me want to tell the truth, though. I couldn't put my hoof on it, but I just felt like I could trust her completely.

“I came from the portal to get away from my family.” I didn't explain any of the details, just the naked truth. I hadn't been that honest with anyone in eons.

Adria was a statue while she continued her line of questioning. “Something happened, didn't it? Someone hurt you and they can't make up for it.”

I nodded.

“Well you should cheer up. I'm sure there's something they could do, and I doubt it's their fault. Why don't you tell me what happened?”

“I don't want to cry.”

“Fair enough.”

The atmosphere melted around me and I felt calmer for some reason. I could think straight for the first time in weeks. I suddenly knew what I wanted and why.

“I don't want to go back home, Adria. I know it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be, but I also know that I want my own life. Maybe I should go back. Maybe that's what's best for me, but things are different now. Even if it's difficult, even if I know it's not right for me, I want to make that decision for myself. I'm sorry that I hurt my family and friends, but I have to be on my own. I have to be my own person.” I didn't know why I was divulging everything to her, but it still felt right. I couldn't help it, it was almost as if she had some sort of charm about her that had a hypnotic effect. “Adria… why am I telling you all of this?”

“I'm sorry, Wesley, but I have to do this or you won't listen to reason. I'm trying to help you. I promise.”

I found myself wanting to obey. “Okay.” I noticed her green scales glisten in the dim light of the lobby. I began taking in more of her appearance. Resting on her haunches, she was as tall as an average human. Her body type was different than that of Spike and the teenage dragons from the show in that it was mostly quadrupedal like a pony's. Unlike a pony, the wings she tucked at her sides were each larger than her body, hanging below her hindquarters and dragging along the ground like her tail. All the way down her back, she had spines just like Spike, only hers were sharper. They were a dark brown color, and they led down to the tip of her spaded tail. She had two twisted horns on top of her head that matched her spines. Her eyes were a deep crimson, but soft and inviting in shape, like Fluttershy's. Everything about this dragon somehow screamed beautiful to me, and yet I also felt comfortable in her presence as if she was an old friend.

“If I let your mind wander, would you still talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” she blinked, “now tell me more about yourself. Tell me about your home.”

I no longer felt compelled to talk to her anymore, but I still felt comfortable with her. She had somehow charmed be before and I fell into a hypnotic state that made me more agreeable. It must be a hunting mechanism they have. “I,” I stuttered, “I'm from Earth. I lived with my family all my life and I've been wanting to get out for the longest time. I want to have a place to call my own so I don't have to follow them everywhere and live their life instead of mine.”

“I gather that's the situation you were in when you came here, wasn't it? You had a place of your own, but it wasn't the same as you thought it would be?”

“No, that's not exactly it. I actually only just moved out.”

Adria tilted her head, “Then how did you come to the conclusion that it wasn't what you wanted? You strove for it for so long, and then just gave it up as soon as you had it? That seems a bit selfish to me.”

“You're putting words into my mouth. I didn't say it wasn't what I wanted. I just had a small window of opportunity. I told you I came through the portal, so it was then or never. I got here as soon as it opened, and it closes tomorrow.”

“So you're saying you had no choice then? You didn't find any other way to get where you wanted to go?”

“I didn't. Wormholes aren't something that can be harnessed, especially not on Earth.”

“Well no, I suppose not. All I'm saying is that you somehow gained knowledge of a mythical portal to another dimension and went straight for it, even if it was a calculated risk that shouldn't have been worth taking. That's very short-sighted.”

“I know, but anything was better than staying in a world of people you don't understand. I don't belong there. I don't understand the way things are supposed to be there. Nobody trusts one another and everyone is so horrible to each other.”

“I doubt it's all like that, and you wouldn't believe how well you're describing my home, too. You should know that Equestria isn't a paradise either.”

“If everyone keeps saying that, I'm going to think you're hiding something bigger than political affairs and monsters.”

That elicited a giggle from the dragon.

“I'm just trying to let you know what you're getting yourself into. I'm not trying to talk you out of it either. You know, I would love to keep you around. You're pretty interesting.” She winked at me.

“What would you do in my situation?”

“You mean if a friend of mine died and I refused to just accept it?”

My blood suddenly ran cold and my heart dropped to my intestines. “H-how did you know?”

“Wes, you're talking to a dragon. I've lived your life twenty times over and I know how hard it is to deal with. I know what grief looks like and even though I'm more than ten times your age, I still have a hard time with it, too.”

I could feel tears coming, but held them back. “Okay, but she wasn't actually my friend...”

“Family is the same way, Wes. I know. You don't have to tell me the details, just understand that I've gone through the same thing. Sometimes you treat your family like friends and sometimes you treat your friends like family. I completely understand when they're both. You can't make anyone less or more important to you than they are, even if they're supposed to be something else. You don't need to run from your feelings, and you don't need to put on such a strong facade. It's okay to cry every once in a while.”

It was then that the tears came. I don't know how she did it, but this dragon I had known for minutes pulled me apart piece by piece. She was obviously experienced in loss, and I couldn't deny that she knew what buttons to press. She wrapped her arms around me in an embrace, and I just sobbed into her chest.

“It's alright, Wes. Let it out,” she comforted me.

Paradise

“Are you sure you're okay? At this altitude, you might get out of breath quickly and I don't want you fainting in the air.”

“I can handle it, I think,” I responded to Umbra, who was showing signs of serious concern on his face.

“Are you sure? We can always stop, or decline a little bit if it's too much.”

Rainbow cut in, “You already said that, nincompoop. Stop worrying or you'll give yourself an aneurism. And we're not falling, either. If we lose altitude and suddenly climb straight up when we get there, not only will we have wasted a ton of time, but the altitude sickness could land any one of us in the hospital, and nurse Wind still has a bone to pick with me, so I'd rather avoid that if at all possible.” It was clear she was annoyed by Umbra's constant questioning, but I could understand his concern. Apparently I wasn't hiding my misgivings about coming to Equestria alone very well. He didn't know that, of course, and so he probably thought I was getting sick or out of breath.

It wasn't much of a stretch to say I was out of breath, either. Cloudsdale was significantly further away than I had first anticipated, and my mistaken judgment for size was growing more relevant the closer we got. Cloudsdale had to be, by far, the largest city in all of Equestria, and possibly even the whole world. Even if it weren't for the many cloud homes near Ponyville, like Rainbow Dash's, that fell under Cloudsdale's domain simply because it was just slightly out of any other town's airspace, Cloudsdale's main hub was easily twice the size of New York City. The city itself lacked any formal streets and alleyways, as all of the citizens flew between the many buildings to get around. To look at the ground would quickly snap one back to reality as they would see just how high up the city flew. As for the size of it, I could not easily see from one end to the other. Even if I could see beyond the horizon, which seemed further away from the height I flew, my eyes couldn't take in the vastness of the magical floating city.

It all made perfect sense, really. Most clouds are further up than they appear, unless they're on the ground, and even the weather zone is about 5-7km from the ground. Strangely, in Equestria, where the ponies ruled the weather, they could make the weather zone as high or low as they wished, and it seemed for convenience in Ponyville, it wasn't nearly that high. However, Cloudsdale obviously played by normal weather rules and as a result, floated slightly above the natural weather zone. Because of this, and the fact that they actually made the weather, they could easily enjoy clear weather and sunshine at all times without rest. I wouldn't ask if it ever got boring, as obviously one could venture to the ground for a stroll in the rain, or simply crack open a storm cloud above their home. Of course, the climate of the city didn't seem to suffer from stagnant weather, anyway. Regardless of how unnaturally the pegasi controlled the weather, it seemed some general physics still applied. Water vapors floated freely in the air, and crystallized above Cloudsdale, shrouding the city in a glimmering dust almost like snowflakes. The breeze carried the dust around the city and into the structures, seemingly merging with them and frosting them in a glittery texture. The dust didn't fall, but merely allowed itself to be carried on the frigid wind, waiting to become one with the floating city or be pulled into the weather factory to become weather.

The weather factory, which was in our view as we approached Cloudsdale, was quite a bit larger than what I had imagined. I supposed that it had to be since it was where all of Equestria's weather came from, but it was still mind-bogglingly huge. It stood on the same cloud as Cloudsdale's famous Cloudesseum, which in itself was about the size of my hometown. The phrase “Everything's bigger here” came to mind more than once as we blitzed past many of the office buildings and mansions in the city. The majority seemed to take up airspace above a peaceful-looking forest, however I didn't want to confirm my assessment of how 'peaceful' it was by looking down. That would have been fairly dangerous considering just how far away down was.

Cloudsale was breathtaking.

Whether my delirium came from lack of oxygen, or the sudden surrealism of hundreds of pegasi flying about, for some reason I thought I had died and gone to heaven, and I didn't even care. There was no panic, there were no screams, and for what seemed like forever, there was no time either. There were just clouds and magical flying ponies for miles. Even at the late hour, there were many ponies going about their business. Some weather ponies were changing shifts at the factory, and weather clouds were constantly being shipped out on enchanted chariots in all directions. Several business mares were returning home from their respective office buildings with fancy silk saddlebags matching their coats. Sculptors busied themselves adjusting columns, and leveling what few walkways existed, and some ponies were even tending to hanging gardens atop extravagant balconies. Even though the sun had set hours ago in Ponyville, it was clear that it had only just set in Cloudsdale shortly before our arrival, as the moon still lingered low in the night sky. It was the second time I had seen a sight so beautiful. The galaxies and nebulae were still unobstructed by the imposing light of the modern world. Houses, buildings, and mansions in Cloudsdale used only the common lanterns and natural light, and at night, it was easy to see why. There weren't any clouds about as they had all been underneath us, and the stars wrapped around the night sky in a dome that went on forever. Nothing could ever compare to my first view of that floating city, but it was still marred by that constant nagging feeling that I had made a horrible decision.

It wasn't until I was broken from my reverie by a leathery wing nudging me that I realized I had landed and was staring at the moon. I recovered quickly and we continued the rest of the way to our destination. Rainbow, Umbra, and I approached a relatively small building compared to the rest of the surrounding area with a sign above that read something incomprehensible.

“Is this a griffon establishment?” Umbra asked offhandedly.

“You don't have a problem with griffons, do you?” Rainbow teased, seeming mildly offended.

Umbra stumbled over his words for a moment. “N-not at all. I was just wondering because the sign says 'The Dragon's Den' in Lyonnais.”

“You know what it says? Your Equestrian accent is quite convincing.”

“Oh, no. I'm not Stirropean, I just know the language. It's helpful to know many tongues when working for the crown, and it even comes with it's own benefits.”

We entered the bar, and I was expecting to be assaulted with smoke and harsh smells, but was pleasantly surprised to discover that there weren't any lit cigarettes in sight (or possibly in existence), and there weren't even the slightest traces of alcohol-breath floating through the air. My curiosity piqued, so I asked, “What kind of benefits?”

Umbra turned to me with the slightest tug on the corner of his mouth and replied, “You wouldn't believe how many curses a Princess will use if they think nopony knows what they're saying.”

I held back a laugh and just settled for a smirk. Rainbow seemed intrigued as well.

“Which princess?”

“Both.”

“Cool. Do you think you could teach us any?”

“Perhaps another time. Most of them don't translate well anyway, and it's not like they're used very often. You don't want ponies thinking you're some crazy gypsy enchantress.” They both laughed wholeheartedly at a joke I apparently missed, while Umbra escorted Rainbow and me to a booth, then wandered to the bar alone.

Rainbow shot me a toothy grin. “It looks like your gentlecolt friend is treating us tonight. I hope you like cider, because that's my favorite! You better like cider.”

“I love cider, but how do you know that's what he'll bring back?”

“I hope you like cider.”

Author's Note

Sorry it's been so long!