Plus Most Of The Ones In Ponyville
Commander Hurricane Fucks Every Mare In Cloudsdale
Plus Most Of The Ones In Ponyville
A cool evening breeze wafted through the partially built palace. Cloudstone pillars cut through the heavens, standing tall amongst temporary scaffolding, ready for more cloud to be shaped into hard brick. The last of the pegasi had left, leaving only a few torches flicking amongst the construction.
Deep below, in the depths of the foundation that had been laid many months before, a quartet of pegasi sat around an old wooden table. Cards were arranged in carefully organized piles on the desk, next to mugs brimming with ale. Commander Hurricane sat with several of his subordinates, chatting about work, the annoying dirt ponies down below, and those cursed unicorns that kept zapping them when they got too near. Hurricane stared intently at the wing of cards he was holding, sipping his drink, debating on whether or to play the Ace of Spades, or the Queen of Hearts.
Hurricane had just gone for another swig of ale when a loud kwa-thwump rumbled through the hallway, coming from a nearby room. The pegasi stood up in confusion, some reaching for their spears, but they were stilled by a hoof.
"I'll handle it," said Hurricane, putting his wing of cards facedown on the table. "Hold this," he said to his closest soldier, who awkwardly grabbed the commander’s drink and stood there looking stupid as his commanding officer marched towards the hall and took a left.
Before him, suspended a foot in the air, was a vibrant floating orb. Shimmering light poured out of it, and a vision of a bright cloud city shone from beyond. It seemed like some sort of impossible window, a twist in the fabric of reality that should never have existed. Hurricane had a fleeting vision of his loving wife, his young son, and his infant daughter. Then, without hesitation, he walked straight into the orb.
Rainbow Dash was going really fast.
This sentence, by itself, would probably constitute a tautology, but that did not detract from the fact that it was exceedingly true. In fact, Rainbow Dash was currently going so fast, she'd unleashed a sonic rainboom mere moments before. This time, however, she didn't just ride the wave. She just kept on going faster. Why?
Because she was Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pegasus in a thousand years. Duh. In fact, the only other pegasus who could match the awesomeness of Rainbow Dash was none other than Commander Hurricane himself. Unfortunately, the two would never meet, as they lived thousands of years apart.
At least, that's how it was supposed to work. As Rainbow Dash continued her acceleration, however, she began to approach Mach 2. At this point the laws of physics gave up and decided to focus on a hobby, like cricket, which was much easier than having to deal with Rainbow Dash. The result was a second Sonic Rainboom, unleashing a surge of energy rocketing out at hypersonic speeds, until the two waves crashed into each other. The sheer amount of awesome concentrated into one area manifested a time vortex flux matrix, which spontaneously created a wormhole into the past in a back alley somewhere in Cloudsdale.
Out of that wormhole stepped a lone black pegasus with a sky blue tail. He looked around with a frown on his face, trying to discern where in Equestria he’d ended up. Without warning, the gateway behind him closed up with a sound not unlike a zipper, and the time-displaced pegasus soon realized his flight back home had been indefinitely delayed. Potentially cut off from his home and family for the rest of his life, Hurricane responded like any self-respecting commander would.
“Oh well.”
With nothing better to do, the legendary pegasus commander walked out towards the open street to get a better view of things.
Rainbow Dash, being Rainbow Dash, didn't notice any of this, because she was already ten miles away, streaking towards Ponyville.
Hurricane stepped out of the alleyway and into the street. Almost immediately, he realized he was still in Cloudsdale, and since Cloudsdale wasn’t yet old enough to have a past, he concluded that he had been transported into the future. While this might strike some as an unusually accurate observation, it was honestly pretty easy. To his right was a fully constructed giant palace—the same giant palace he had just left, except his wasn't actually done yet. This one looked like it had been restored multiple times, with a form of cloudstone he didn't recognize. Conclusion: He was clearly several hundred years in the future, at least. Looking around, all the ponies were in pathetic shape, and the stallions didn't seem to have a lick of muscle on them at all.
"Damn hippies took over the future," muttered Commander Hurricane. He supposed he should be happy for his descendants, for they clearly didn't have to worry about war, or famine, or... anything, really. Hurricane couldn't decide if this was a good thing or not. Did it just make them weak, or was it a utopia? Regardless, the commander had two immediate problems. One, he didn't have any money, because he was a commander and his subordinates simply gave him whatever he wanted, and two, even if he had money, it would have been several thousand years out of date. There was also the minor possibility of his existence causing a temporal paradox that tore the entire spacetime continuum open, but math wasn't really his cup of tea.
...Or mug of ale, if you want to be pedantic.
Hurricane sat down near some sort of store, and tapped his hoof against his chin. He was about to get up and start heading for what seemed to be a marketplace when he noticed that several mares were ogling him. He smiled inwardly. Apparently, even in this day and age, mares were still capable of appreciating good looks. The mares started giggling as Hurricane trotted over to them.
"Hello, ladies, I seem to have lost my way. I was wondering if you could point me to an inn, perhaps?" He grinned at the one to his left and brushed his tail against her flank.
She instantly fainted.
Hmmmm, thought Commander Hurricane, they didn't do that before.
The door to the inn was flung open, and a stallion trotted in with two mares in tow. Immediately, all the other stallions sitting in the lobby felt as though a breeze made entirely out of testosterone had washed over them. The stallion shook out his wings, sat down on a nearby chair, and removed his helmet.
From beneath his metal visage flowed a mane that might as well have been made of threaded jewels. It was bluer than the sky itself, and made entirely out of liquid sapphire. It shimmered in the light of a setting sun, even though the sun had already set and they were, in fact, indoors. A frosty breath escaped his muzzle, the most ruggedly handsome muzzle ever to grace the entirety of Equus. His jawline was so sharp you could polish diamonds on it. His fur was impossibly fine, with each individual strand in perfect alignment.
He turned his attention towards the stallion behind the counter. Deep magenta eyes, shimmering like rubies in the dark, bored into the innkeeper as Hurricane trotted up to the counter. Casting a glance to the side, Hurricane noticed that one of the candles had been blown out. He casually lifted a wing towards the candle, and focused on his empatha. A flash of flame passed through his wing to the tip, neatly lighting the candle on fire.
The pegasus behind the counter jumped back in fright. "W-what do you w-want?" he stuttered, practically cowering in the corner.
Hurricane lowered his wing and raised an eyebrow in its place. "I am told there is lodging available in this building?"
"Y-yeah, um, s-s-sure. H-how many?" asked the stallion, shaking in fright as he tried to inch closer to the countertop.
The commander looked behind him at the two mares that were giggling and whispering to each other. "...Three."
A hoof clumsily sorted through a rack of keys and barely managed to pluck one off of its hook. "Room 205, u-up the stairs, to y-your left. H-have a nice stay!"
"Thank you." Hurricane took the keys and turned back towards the mares. "Come along, you two."
The greatest pegasus general who had ever lived began to ascend the stairs with two perpetually giggling mares. The three stallions who dared to look upon Commander Hurricane's flank as it disappeared up the staircase began to question their sexual orientation.
With a clunk, Hurricane set his helmet, made of solid skysteel, on the table. Turning around, he saw the two mares close the door behind them and start fiddling with their saddlebags, still full of food they had bought at the marketplace. One had a light purple coat with a cerulean blue and white streaked mane, while the other had a pale purple coat and a light green mane. He had learned in the marketplace that the former was named Cloudchaser, and the latter was Flitter. Being used to names like 'Swift Spear' and 'Pathfinder', he decided that the future had most definitely been overrun by hippies.
Despite this, Hurricane was pleased that he had managed to procure food and shelter in such a short time. Now, there simply remained the pressing issue of how to return to his own time. As Hurricane pondered this, he started undoing the leather straps on his armor. He didn't notice the two mares staring at him in rapt attention as he wiggled out of his armor and let it fall to the ground with a loud thud.
Instantly, Flitter and Cloudchaser felt their insides erupt in throbbing, heated need as the majestic glory of the stallion in front of them was revealed. His body was sculpted from pure muscle, rippling under his fur with every movement. His flank moved with the grace and elegance of a butterfly, every muscle rendered in perfect detail. His hind legs looked like they could shatter stone, and his barrel seemed as though it was carved out of a single block of granite. Every movement he made was perfect. Every pose he paused in while stretching out his impossibly perfect body was jaw-dropping.
Reaching around, Hurricane drew out a long, incredibly sharp sword. The skysteel blade, built from a nimbostratus core, slid out of its sheath and left a subtle ring in the air. Fiddling with the handle in his mouth, he glanced over at the two starry eyed pegasi transfixed by his movements. "I usually practice a bit with my sword before going to bed," he explained around the sword handle, "I hope you don't mind."
'Not minding' was a bit of an understatement. Flitter and Cloudchaser sat in enraptured silence as Hurricane swept his blade around the room, performing a mesmerizing, death-defying dance. It wasn't long before a puddle had formed beneath their marehoods, soaking the carpet with arousal.
Hurricane, on the other hoof, didn't realize just how turned on his companions were until a scent brushed past his nose. Of all the things that had changed over the millennia, the scent of an aroused pegasus mare had been left untouched by the sands of time. The commander paused in his movements to spare a look at the two slightly panting mares, whose wings were fully erect, and quickly realized they wanted him to fuck them silly. He immediately decided that his trip back to his own time could be postponed for a few days... or weeks.
With a grin, Hurricane sheathed his blade, as something much more enticing began to appear below his stomach, hastened by the growing haze of arousal filling the room. His mind was starting to get numb, and it was becoming more and more difficult to think about anything other than rutting his companions into the ground. Naturally, Hurricane had exactly zero problems with this, because that was precisely what he intended to do. "Would you like to see my other sword?" he inquired, trotting towards them.
Cloudchaser and Flitter nodded furiously, not trusting themselves to speak.
Hurricane sat down. On display before the two mares was the most amazing horse dong in equestrian history, in its full, throbbing glory. Standing at attention like a military officer, its smooth curves were enough to make the moon itself weep in envy.
Standing at 11 and a quarter inches, his cock was the perfect length. Large enough to fill a mare completely all the way to the hilt, and no more. The shaft seemed to emerge like a natural extension of Hurricane's body from a sheath that practically melted into his crotch. Thin, spidery veins were the only hint that his stallionhood wasn't made of solid steel. Just over 2 inches wide, his member was the perfect ratio of length to girth, capable of removing the virginity of any mare who set eyes upon its magnificence.
The tip flared just enough to entice, but no more. A sharply defined medial ring sat exactly in the middle, ready to reward an eager mare as it brushed past her lips. It rose at a slight angle, following the natural curve of Hurricane's well-toned barrel. It was geometric perfection of the highest calibre, twitching ever so subtly in anticipation of what would inevitably come next.
The Commander's testes were just as imposing. Enormous spheres occupied a massive sack that was neither too loose nor too tight. It flowed from the base of his penis, and the two perfectly smooth testicles that hung within it dangled just slightly below his member. Just one of his incredibly potent balls was almost two inches in diameter, practically begging to be played with.
Cloudchaser was so awestruck by the sight in front of her she couldn't move. Flitter, on the other hand, had an entirely different response. She turned around, stuck her flank straight up in the air, and moved her tail to the side.
"Fuck me," she demanded. Hurricane was happy to oblige.
The problem with having sex with Commander Hurricane is that nopony who had ever done so could describe it, because no words in the Equestrian language existed that could convey just how amazing it was. As a result, over the next decade, 'Hurricane' became a euphemism for having sex that was so good it was indescribable.
However, if one were to try to describe the sex they had with a collection of inferior words, it would probably go something like this: Hurricane's perfectly proportioned penis pumped in and out of his prostrate partner's palpitating pussy. As the commander's cock rutted her cunt, she cried out in euphoria and came.
The commander made Flitter orgasm so hard, the God of Sex resigned and willed all his possessions to Hurricane. In the Crystal Empire, 300 miles to the north, Princess Cadance suddenly felt an inexplicable feeling of inadequacy. 72,000 light years away, on the other side of the galaxy, an alien suddenly awoke with a start.
"Margaret, Margaret!" he hissed, prodding the lump of blankets beside him.
"What is it, Harold?" asked the lump.
Harold shivered. "I just got the strange feeling that another being, thousands of light years away, has had the most amazing sex in the universe, and no amount of sex I have will ever come close to it."
The lump let out a noise that sounded quite a bit like a yawn. "That's nice, honey," she replied, "now go back to sleep."
Hurricane awoke to the sound of birds twittering outside the window. Next to him were two lovely mares—Cloudchaser and Flitter, if he remembered correctly—with whom he had had a delightful and very messy night. Rising carefully from the mattress, he slid down to the foot of the bed and on to the floor. Trotting over to the bathroom, he marvelled at all the strange things the future had invented. He spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out what the toilet was for, and was mystified by the shower, since the Ancient Cirrans’ concept of "bathing" was actually closer to "take a swim in the river." Equally confusing were the strange implements that had been left in the bathroom by Flitter and Cloudchaser. They looked like sticks with fine bristles coming out of one end. The sticks were next to a tube of gunk with words on it, but it seemed that while the Equestrian dialect hadn't changed very much over the years, its written language had evolved considerably. Thus, Hurricane found himself staring at alien symbols that he couldn't make heads or tails of.
Shaking his head, he spent another five minutes figuring out how to turn the faucet on, then another two minutes figuring out how to get cold water, before finally rinsing out his mouth and splashing water on his muzzle. He was in the middle of putting his armor back on when he heard a sound of disappointment come from the bed.
"Aww, I was hoping you'd keep it off," mumbled a very sleepy looking Cloudchaser.
Hurricane smirked. "Alas, my lady, but I must go outside, and who knows what dangers may lurk out there."
Cloudchaser let out a snerk. "Dangers? We live a mile above the ground! There's no danger here!" She tried to extract herself from the bed, only to fall off and take half the sheets with her. Giggling, she untangled herself from the sheets and finally managed to wobble over to Hurricane, brushing her tail up against his flank. "I'm sure the other mares wouldn't mind, either."
Hurricane paused. The Cirrans were known for three things: being the most amazing warriors ever to grace the face of Equus, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and having giant orgies. Thus, given the reactions of these two random mares he had passed by, it wasn't hard for Hurricane to imagine what might happen if he were to... take a walk somewhere more public.
He liked what he was imagining.
"Hmmmm, I suppose you have a point. But it wouldn't do to just leave my armor here," mused Commander Hurricane. "Perhaps I could take a relaxing walk at a park?"
He felt a warm body slide under his neck. "Can't you stay here with us~?" whined Cloudchaser.
Hurricane considered the notion briefly, but the prospect of inciting a giant orgy in Cloudsdale was entirely too tempting. "I'm sorry, my lady, but I shouldn't dawdle more than necessary. My people need me."
It was at least partially true. His people did need him. Of course, this was time travel, so in reality how long he stayed had no relevance to when he would return. It was, however, a good excuse. Cloudchaser made a reluctant noise of disapproval before returning to the bed, and Hurricane managed to finish putting on his armor.
"I shall return with the dawn," declared Hurricane, not realizing how ridiculous his archaic speech sounded. Thankfully, Cloudchaser had already joined Flitter in being unconscious, and Hurricane's terrible attempt at a one-liner fell on deaf ears.
It hadn't taken long for Commander Hurricane to locate a nice open space for his... performance. He perched on the top of a cloud hill in some kind of park. At the very least, it was trying to approximate a park, but there were no trees that grew on clouds, so it ended up being a bit barren. This did nothing to deter Hurricane as he meandered around, before settling on a particularly visible spot.
Thud. Hurricane started undoing the straps on his armor before unceremoniously dropping it along with his helmet. Stretching out his wings to their full, very impressive wingspan, he did a bit of preening, and then started stretching.
It only took about five minutes for a number of mares to start congregating around him, pointing and giggling. In a way, Hurricane was actually very lucky. The pegasi of his age had an incredibly awkward and ridiculous mating dance that, if performed in modern Cloudsdale, would have made him look very silly. Modern pegasi utilized a completely different and even dumber looking mating dance that was an embarrassment to every flying creature unfortunate enough to witness it. Commander Hurricane, on the other hand, had no need of mating dances. All the mares were flocking to him like moths to a brothel simply because he had removed his armor. He paid them no mind, continuing his stretching routine with more and more egregious poses, until one particularly brave mare walked right up to him and flicked her tail against his flank.
"Hey there, sexy," she murred.
Commander Hurricane couldn't tell if she was drunk on alcohol or hormones. He supposed it didn't really matter at this point. Slowly, the Commander folded up his wings and returned to a standing position with more elegance and grace than a Wonderbolt. His mane was brushed slightly to the side from a mysteriously convenient breeze as he turned around, a small smile playing upon his lips.
"I could say the same for you, my lady."
She fainted.
Hmmmm, perhaps I shouldn't come on so strong, mused Hurricane. However, his fifth leg was already starting to appear under him, and there wasn't really much to be done about that. So, he threw caution to the wind, turned around to face the crowd of mares, waited for his member to reach full mast, and sat down.
It was total chaos. Mares were pointing, fainting, drooling, masturbating, spontaneously having lesbian sex with each other, flying up, flying sideways, flying backwards, flying while masturbating (which looked difficult), flying into each other (which looked painful), and several starting fighting with each other over the rights to get fucked by the most amazing horsecock anypony had ever seen in a thousand years.
Commander Hurricane had to utilize a considerable amount of his experience as a general to prevent his penis from inciting a riot. Eventually, however, he succeeded in setting up something sort of organized, so each mare (or four) could have a turn with him. He was halfway through the 43rd mare when an enraged stallion came galloping up to him, forcing him to withdraw from the lovely pink pegasus he had been rutting.
"And just who the hay do you think you are?!" spat Thunderlane, letting out an angry snort.
Hurricane turned around and looked at him. As soon as their eyes met, Thunderlane's penis immediately became so flaccid it folded in on itself and created a miniature pocket dimension. His testicles receded into his body so fast they went back in time and un-created themselves. His wings spontaneously outstretched and bowed in an instinctual show of humility and submission as his brain realized he was staring at the paragon of rugged handsomeness. Hurricane wasn't just handsome, he was the physical incarnation of masculinity. The stallion that stood before Thunderlane defined handsome, against which all other stallions would be measured.
"I'm Commander Hurricane."
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
There is a... disturbance in Cloudsdale.
Please investigate it.
Yours Truly,
Princess Celestia
Princess Twilight Sparkle was worried.
Perhaps worried was a bit of a misnomer. A more fitting description for her current mental state might be distressed, confused, concerned, nervous, uneasy, anxious, disquieted, uncertain, queasy, agitated, or perhaps some bizarre combination of all of them. One thing was certain, however—Twilight really needed to stop reading her thesaurus before going to bed.
On her mind was the Princess' letter, and its rather disturbing lack of detail. A vague letter from Princess Celestia usually meant that she wanted Twilight to perform some task that Twilight would undoubtedly regret the next morning. It was this train of thought that led Princess Twilight Sparkle to begin questioning her life choices as she flew towards the floating city, debating whether achieving princesshood was actually an accomplishment, or simply a unique manifestation of her own personal Tartarus.
As the last cloud crested behind her, she began to lean towards the latter. There was clearly something wrong in Cloudsdale, since half its population appeared to be congregating in one of the open parks. Twilight reached the gates of Cloudsdale only to be stopped by two nervous looking guards.
"P-Princess Twilight Sparkle! We are humbled by your grace, but for your own safety, we cannot allow you to pass!"
Twilight looked at the guard with a mixture of confusion and bemusement. "My own safety? What could possibly be so terrible that it would be a threat to the Princess of Friendship?"
The guard blushed, and decided that Twilight's hooves were much more interesting than her eyes. "Um, w-well, you see..."
"You'll try to fuck him like all the other mares!" blurted out the other guard, before immediately shoving a hoof in his mouth and turning away in embarrassment.
If Twilight hadn't been confused before, she sure was now. "...Excuse me?! What's going on?!"
The first guard took a deep breath, and silently prayed to Celestia that his death would be quick and painless. "There's a stallion in the city that is so impossibly handsome, every single mare in the entire city is lining up to have sex with him. It's impossible to reason with any of them. It's impossible for the stallions to even get near him, he's so... masculine."
Twilight let out a snerk. Ok, well, this is an amusing result of a gender specific Want-It-Need-It spell, but I suppose I need to stay professional. "Oh, really now? What's his name?"
The guard gulped. "He says... he says his name is Commander Hurricane, your majesty."
Twilight's smile dropped like an earth pony made out of lead. "Commander Hurricane, you say?"
She got a silent nod in reply. Something deep inside of her gut began to twist in an uncomfortable way. There were exactly two explanations for what was currently going on. It was a spell gone awry, or it was a stallion who was simply that impossibly hot. Given her considerable historical knowledge, Twilight Sparkle knew there was only one stallion who fit that description.
And they had just said his name.
Twilight took a deep breath, and her horn shimmered. "Thank you for your warning. I have placed a protective spell around myself to shield me from this... stallion." She didn't mention that it wouldn't work if the stallion wasn't actually under a spell and was simply that impossibly sexy. "Now, please let me through, and I will try to resolve the situation."
Wordlessly, the guards parted, and the gates opened. To be fair, she could have just flown over, but having gates on a city made of clouds and populated with flying creatures was more of a symbolic thing, anyway.
Twilight stepped over the threshold and looked around. Meandering through the city streets were morose looking stallions. It was hard to tell if they were depressed because Hurricane was ten times as manly as they could ever be, or because he wasn't gay. It wasn't hard to know where she needed to go—all she had to do was follow the screams of erotic pleasure.
She found her target on a cloud hill, under a pile of mares, with an enormous crowd off to the side, waiting for their turn. She started up the hill, only to discover that nopony seemed to care that she was a princess. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she leapt up and flew over the pack, and several mares shouted at her to get in line before realizing they had just yelled at Princess Twilight Sparkle.
She landed with a poomf on the clouds in front of Hurricane, who was in the middle of boning a yellow pegasus with a fiery mane, while pleasuring another with his mouth, while another mare rubbed herself off on his tailbase, while another was licking one of his outstretched wings.
"Sir, please cease this... activity at once!" demanded Twilight in her best impersonation of the Royal Canterlot Voice, which was actually pretty good. Hurricane let out an amused snort, extracted himself from the gaggle of pegasus mares, managed to find all four hooves, and turned to face Twilight Sparkle.
The Princess was unable to keep her jaw from dropping as the full, unrivaled majesty of the stallion in front of her was revealed. Something deep inside Twilight told her that this was the real Commander Hurricane, simply because no stallion alive was that impossibly hot. That, plus the armor lying against a nearby bench and his physical appearance matched historical descriptions almost perfectly. If anypony was Commander Hurricane, it was the stallion standing in front of her. His body was, literally, the sexiest thing she had ever seen in her life, fantasy or otherwise. His entire body was made of sleek, powerful muscle, and—Holy Celestia is that his penis?!
Twilight abruptly understood why all the mares in Cloudsdale were lining up to fuck Hurricane. She'd probably have to take measurements, but she was pretty sure that she was looking at the most mathematically ideal penis in the history of Equestria.
"Ah, Mister... Hurricane, sir, as a princess of Equestria, I must order you to..." Twilight trailed off as Hurricane began a series of very arousing stretches.
"Oh, don't mind me," said Hurricane, as he shifted his position slightly and his testicles rolled on to this other thigh. "Please, continue."
"T-to.. to... t—t—" stuttered Twilight, as her marehood began getting exceedingly warm.
Hurricane flipped on to his back, using his wings to support him upside down, stretching his shoulder muscles as his rock hard stallionhood pointed straight into the air, leaking precum down one side.
Twilight turned around and stuck her flank in the air. "OH CELESTIA, PLEASE FUCK ME!" she cried out.
Commander Hurricane smiled. "Of course, your majesty."
After three or four rounds of sex with Commander Hurricane (Twilight was having trouble keeping track), the Princess of Friendship was lying on the ground in an orgasm-induced stupor, filled to the brim with friendship fluids. Somehow, and to this day nopony knows how, she managed to pick herself up and hobble over to him on wobbly legs.
"As a P-princess of... E-equeshtria," she slurred, trying not to tip over, "I hereby order you t-to accompoo—acco—follow me to Ponyville so I can f-fix this." She paused. "Well, 'fix' in a manner of shpeaking, anyway."
Commander Hurricane, while slightly disappointed that his orgy would have to be cut short, knew better than to question the orders of someone who was apparently ranked higher than... everypony else. Also, she had admittedly been a pretty good lay, being an immortal alicorn and all that. "Of course, your majesty," he said, with a respectful bow.
Twilight attempted to turn around, fell flat on her face, got one leg off the ground but not the other, hobbled forward once or twice, and then gave up attempting to elegantly take off and just used her wings to drag her off the ground, instead. Hurricane managed to put his armor on by promising the remaining mares that he would return as soon as he was able, and flew after the Princess.
It wasn't long before Twilight realized there was no way she was going to make it all the way to Ponyville under her own wingpower. That, and every time she double checked to make sure Commander Hurricane was still flying beside her, she noticed her marehood getting warmer. Either she was going to fall out of the sky from exhaustion, or she’d attempt to fuck Hurricane in midair, then fall out of the sky from exhaustion. Naturally, the commander came to her rescue.
“Is something the matter?” asked Hurricane, flying closer to the purple pony princess positively palpitating while piloting her pile of pinions towards Ponyville.
Twilight nodded. “Too much sex,” she huffed, “can barely move my wings.”
“Perhaps I can assist.” Her companion flew above her and wrapped his hooves around her midsection, helping lift her weight with his mighty wings. “Better?”
The princess moaned in either approval or arousal, it was hard to tell. Hurricane, of course, already had half a boner, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Have you ever done it in the air?”
Twilight shook her head. Hurricane took this as an invitation, sliding his dick behind her and then inside her. Immediately, Twilight lost all ability to control her wings, and simply moaned in ecstasy over and over.
Thus, Hurricane started having sex with Princess Twilight Sparkle, while supporting half her weight solely with the manliest cock in equestrian history, in midair. It didn't take long for him to cum inside her, and their fluids fell to the ground in a small, sticky shower of white liquid. Some of these droplets fell on an unsuspecting meeting of Ciderholics Anonymous, who had decided to meet out in the park instead of inside. At first, they were confused. Then, Hurricane's scent wafted past their muzzles, and the entire meeting devolved into a public orgy.
Meanwhile, Hurricane and Twilight continued on their very intimate flight to Ponyville. It would take a normal pegasus, flying at a very quick pace, about an hour to fly between Cloudsdale and Ponyville. Hurricane did it in half that time, while wearing full Cirran armor, while supporting Twilight Sparkle, while fucking her.
The two copulating ponies landed in Ponyville Market a short while later amidst a quickly expanding crowd that was staring at the Commander Hurricane in awe. Hurricane gently removed himself from Twilight's cunt and placed her on the ground, where she quite nearly fell over. After finding her footing, she mumbled something about a library that was actually a castle and a bed.
By pure coincidence, or perhaps simply because Commander Hurricane willed it to be so, Rainbow Dash happened to be flying near Ponyville Market at just that moment. She spotted her bestest best friend in the whole wide world hobbling slightly outside the market, and immediately went to check on her.
"Hey, Twilight, why're you walking so funny?" asked Rainbow Dash, whose concern for her friend made her blissfully unaware of the crowd of mares surrounding Commander Hurricane.
Twilight mumbled something incoherent and pointed a hoof back towards the stallion who was surrounded by drooling mares, and Rainbow Dash turned around...
Hurricane suddenly heard the voice of an angel float past his ears. He turned his head just as Rainbow Dash turned towards him, and was momentarily blinded. Hovering before him was no mere pegasus. Her pristine, cyan fur was eclipsed only by the brilliant, rainbow-colored mane that decorated her head. Everything around her seemed dull and gray in comparison to the impossible gamut of colors that made up her mane and tail. Powerful muscles rippled beneath her fur, toned to perfection. Her entire body was built for speed, and every feather in her wings was like a precious snowflake. Before him stood the fastest mare in Equestria. There was no need of a race, or a demonstration. He simply knew.
Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, suddenly realized she was staring at the only stallion in the history of stallions who could possibly be as awesome as she was. His mane and body were so impossibly perfect they had already been described in excruciating detail three or four times. The two pegasi stared blankly at each other, barely breathing, as a single thought overtook them.
Fuck me.
Like a dream, they began to move closer. First at a lazy trot, then a run, then a gallop. Rainbow Dash bored down on Hurricane like a bullet, smashing into him with enough force than any other stallion would have been bowled over. Hurricane charged at her like a runaway freight train. The two forces cancelled out, and instead their lips met, and everypony present witnessed the most epic kiss in equestrian history. Their bodies were a blur, and it wasn't long before Hurricane's immaculate horse cock found its way into Rainbow Dash's impeccable pussy.
They had sex that was so hot, any attempt to explain it immediately burst into flames. It was so amazing that every pegasus who had ever lived or would ever live retroactively lost their virginity before they were born.
"That was pretty good," said Rainbow Dash, panting.
Commander Hurricane was inclined to agree.
Over the next two weeks, Hurricane's presence was requested multiple times in Ponyville. Since Cloudsdale was just a short flight away, he would often return there for the night, as it felt more familiar to him. At least, as familiar as a city several thousand years in the future could be, anyway. During this time, he managed to fuck every single mare in Cloudsdale, had sex with Rainbow Dash another 27 times and managed to fuck most of the mares in ponyville too.
Twilight Sparkle was in the process of trying to invent a time travel spell that could return him to his rightful era, while also trying to avoid being distracted by the most mathematically perfect penis she had ever seen. She ended up measuring it three times and fucking Hurricane eight times before coming up with a solution.
"And so, if you take the eigenvector of the four dimensional transflux matrix and rotate the bivector over the span of the basis vector, you can—WILL YOU TWO GET OFF THE TABLE?!" Twilight angrily threw the piece of chalk she had been holding at the two pegasi who had clambered on top of the table and were currently in the process of making more pegasi.
"What?" asked Hurricane innocently, his cock still embedded in Rainbow Dash's cunt.
"I'm trying to get you back home! Can you please not fuck each other on the table while I'm explaining how this works?!"
"Uh," Rainbow Dash raised a hoof, "I don't see why we need to know how it works in the first place."
Twilight slammed her clipboard down on the table. "Fine! Come on, we're sending you home!"
"Can't I finish with him one last tiiiiime~?" whined Rainbow Dash, but Twilight had already left.
Hurricane shrugged and proceeded to make Rainbow Dash scream in ecstasy as she orgasmed twice in a row.
Twilight Sparkle stood before a shimmering portal that had taken her almost an hour of continuous casting to construct. "Alright, Mister Hurricane, if you could be so kind as to step through the portal here, we can get you back to your own time, and put this whole fiasco behind us."
"I'd rather put it inside us," muttered Rainbow Dash, who was a bit peeved that her repeated rolls in the hay with Hurricane were coming to an end. Literally. Hurricane was cumming inside of her one last time, before he pulled his incredibly sexy horsecock out of her pussy, still dripping with semen.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming," said Hurricane, whose tertiary pun almost shattered the fourth wall. He reluctantly put his armor back on, double checked to ensure his sword was still in its sheath (no, not that sword), and stepped up to the portal. Twilight, who had been sitting down with her forelegs crossed in an amusing posture of disapproval, stood up and stepped aside.
Commander Hurricane stepped through the portal, across thousands of years of time, and back into the very corridor he had left from. With a sound not unlike a deflating balloon, the portal closed behind him. He trotted forwards, took a right, and arrived back at the old wooden table with his soldiers surrounding it.
"Just a false alarm," he said. The soldier still holding his commander's mug abruptly found an outstretched hoof waiting in front of him, and he obediently returned the drink.
The pegasi retired their swords to their sheaths, and sat back down. The commander picked up his wing of cards, drew out the Queen of Hearts, and put it on the table.
"Your move."
Author's Note
So, that happened.
(This completely non-canon Price of Loyalty comedy uses this story for its background.)
