A Derpy Tale

Durpy and Derpy usually met in secret. If any of the pegasi knew about Durpy, they might try and deliver her to King Quote’s palace in exchange for outlawing their hunting. Derpy was willing to pay her life to save Durpy, and she thought it was a worthy cause. Durpy adjusted to Derplandia, though it was a tough challenge. Durpy had to learn the language of pegasi so she could communicate with Derpy if telepathy ever failed. Durpy wanted to find a way out of Derplandia, which actually made Derpy very sad, because that would mean leaving her behind. Derpy knew that one day Durpy would leave, maybe with her, or maybe without her. It was Durpy’s choice. For now, Derpy just wanted Durpy to feel welcome to Derplandia, but it was very hard. Durpy would say,

“Derpy, are you not tired of those Question Marks bothering and killing people?”

Durpy, I really am, but what power do I have over them? They would kill me as soon as I threw a measly rock at them!

Derpy would say. Durpy was really sad that there was no way to take back Derplandia, a way in which the Question Marks would leave for good.

“Derpy, why don’t you want me to meet your friends?”

asked Durpy one day.

Durpy, please… I’ve told you many times before; they just are not ready to see one of you.

Derpy would say.

“But Derpy, what if we could take back Derplandia and win? Your flock would be terrified to know that you have been working with me now, but imagine their horror when they find it out later!”

Derpy would shrug, and Durpy would just go crazy,

“Derpy! Look, I’m bored of the flock! Can’t we go somewhere else?”

Derpy turned stiff. That’s exactly what she had said the day she found Durpy.

Durpy, I want to leave too, but they will notice and tell… someone.

That’s what Derpy would tell her.

“Okay, I know… But someday, can we just leave for like, a day?”

Derpy thought about this and said,

Durpy, you are very, very young and I’m afraid a 8 year old girl won’t be okay out in the wilderness. I promise we will go somewhere, when you turn 12. That day, we will explore, and have a great day.

Durpy would say,

“That’s in a long time Derpy!”

Derpy would nod and finally, Durpy would say,

“Where would we go?”

I want to show you everything outside the flock. I have never been out myself, but I know where everything is because of Gandalf’s books. We can visit the crixie camp, the Great Salt Lake, jade shores-

Durpy would always stop Derpy and say,

“Did you say Gandalf? Isn’t that a wizard from some movie in my world?”

Derpy would shrug, because honestly, she didn’t know. Derpy didn’t even know what a movie was.

Derpy’s flock grew more and more suspicious because she kept coming up with lame excuses to go and see Durpy. Of course, no one knew about Durpy then. The pegasi all looked at Derpy with their cross-eyed ways, and started slapping each other again whenever Derpy said,

“Guys, I think we ran out of Dingmellows, I’m going to find some more,”

also,

“Is that King Quote?! I’ll go check!”

and finally,

“I think I saw a stand selling popcorn over by the river, why don’t you guys go check it out?”

Derpy kept leaving and coming back hours later, and everyone always wondered why she’d taken so long.

“Oh, well… I saw a Dingmellow but a Thing took it and it was hard to chase!”

she would say.

“It wasn’t King Quote but it was a droll. I tried to ward it off.”

Would be her excuse and finally,

“Sorry, I guess the stand moved away.”

She was always so close to being discovered, and after hiding Durpy for nearly 4 years, it was getting tougher to hide her. Durpy kept popping out, nearly revealing herself to a Pegasus.

Durpy, you can’t keep showing yourself. I guess you’re proving you can’t leave the flock yet.

“No Derpy, I’m ready! I was just… umm…”

You were…?

“Derpy, you promised me when I was eight that when I turned twelve we would leave the flock. Even if I’m not ready, you promised me. I’m going to be twelve in a week and that means you have to keep your promise!”

Durpy! Just listen up; I don’t think it’s a good idea to go yet. You need to wait a while longer.

“But you promised me!”

Durpy said.

I know. Just, I can’t do it if you don’t show me I’m making a right choice on this. I’m not going to take you if you are not ready, even if it means breaking a promise!

“Fine, what should I do to make you see I’m ready?”

Derpy considered this for a long time. She didn’t want to put Durpy in danger, but she had a plan to make her see. If Durpy succeeded, she would be taken out for her birthday, but if she didn’t she would stay with the flock.

Derpy woke Durpy up from a nap.

Durpy, I’ve decided to take you on the adventures when it’s your birthday-

“Yes! Thanks so much Derpy! Thank you! OH YEAH!”

Durpy, I didn’t finish…

Then Durpy said,

“Oh… sorry about that,”

If you can pass this test, I will take you, if you can’t you’ll have to stay.

“What do I have to do?”

Derpy cross her eyes the most she could, crumple her mouth and made a pyramid shape. Then she used telepathy and said,

You must retrieve my awesome muffin of derpiness to me.

“That’s easy! I bet someone just took it, I’ll get it back. Tell me where they live,”

Said Durpy.

Durpy, it’s not a Pegasus you’re getting it back from, it’s a crixie, the princess of all crixies; Princess Sunshine.

“What a lame name!”

shouted Durpy.

It’s not very easy to get it back. The princess has the darkest and most cross-eyed eyes in most of Crixie Hollow. It’s going to be very hard to get my muffin back. He’s a compass that will take you to Crixie Hollow.

Derpy handed Durpy a compass. It was old and rust, half broken and the glass was about shattered.

“Easy as pie,”

exclaimed Durpy. Durpy started walking off in the direction of Crixie Hollow when Derpy slapped her face with her tail.

Durpy?

“Yeah?”

Also bring back some sprinkles.