The one Fedora

by Lighterlight1887

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Human, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, King Sombra, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1532

It's dark times in Equestria. King Sombra has risen, and has turned Equestria into a land of chaos and pure evil. There is only one person who can save Equestria now.

It's dark times in Equestria. King Sombra has risen, and has turned Equestria into a land of chaos and pure evil. There is only one person who can save Equestria now. With the power of given to him by the mighty God of Fedoras, Blake Tribdora of Earth shall free Equestria from it's reign of terror.

Published 2014-09-08 03:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-08 03:20:06 UTC

Fedoraism

The glorious afternoon sun shined through the beautiful painted glass windows of the Canterlot Castle Throne Room, where Celestia and her younger sister Luna were residing. The cool yet stagnant air could be felt within the large room as they sat on their thrones, without a single bad thought.

But then everything changed.

In an instant, all the beautiful painted glass windows shattered and turned into shit on the floor, shocking both the princesses. Before they could even do anything to respond, King Sombra flew into the castle from the nothingness, killing both the princesses with his disembodied horn. He took their now decapitated heads, and smashed them on the ground, taking the brain matter and shoving it up his ass. He moaned and screamed in painful delight as magnificent pleasure soared through his rotten nigger body. In only seconds he began to orgasm, his cock expelling cum onto the remains of the two decapitated heads.

"THIS IS MY WORLD NOW!!! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!! AAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Sombra laughed manically as he threw himself on the throne, slamming his hooves onto both arms of the chair. "I AM GOD!!!!!!!!!"

In an instant, however, the huge steel doors of the throne room burst open, the huge doors flying hazardously throughout the throne room. Sombra only barely managed to doge one of the doors, looking in the direction of the entrance.

"WHO THE FUCK DARES DISTURB ME!?!?!?!?" Sombra shouted in anger, his rage boiling up and taking control of his cock. With his cock now enraged and erect, it ripped itself off of Sombra's body, charging towards the enemy at the throne room entrance.

"FALCON FEDORAAAAAAAAAAA PUNCH!!!!!" The erect cock was sent flying backwards with the force of gods. It went through all the walls of Canterlot, flying with such force that it circulated the entire planet of Equestria 69 times before finally evaporating. Sombra stared in shock-- what was this being?? How could it have so much power??

There, standing in the entrance stood the Neckbeardest of neckbeards. His unhealthy amount of fat made him borderline obese, his fedora balanced perfectly on his head and glowing with the power of gods. The fat neckbearded man began to make his way to Sombra, each step making a tiny earthquake.

"Wh..who are you?? What are you?" Sombra asked, staring at the behemoth before him. He had never layed his eyes upon such immense power.

"I am Blake Tribdora, airbender of the Mighty Fedora." He replied, looking at Sombra. His voice reeked of Cheetos and Doritos, the smell nearly suffocating Sombra. He looked like he hadn't showered in thousands of years.

"What do you want you fucking fool!?" Sombra asked, glaring at the fat fuck. Suddenly the fedora-wearing mass of fat and bones began to glow a bright-yellow light, his huge mass beginning to float upwards in mid-air. The fedora that lay on his head began to levitate, becoming a levitating pasta creature. The fat being then began to speak, his voice deep and echoing throughout the entire throne room.

"I SHALL SLAY YOU, YOU HORRIBLE DISGRACE OF A NIGGER! WITH THE POWER GRANTED TO ME BY THE GOD OF FEDORAS, I WILL SLAY YOUR HEART INTO THOUSANDS OF TINY PIECES AS I MAKE RUIN UPON YOUR UGLY AND EXCUSEFUL CLUSTER OF ATOMS!!!!" The entire land of Equestria began to shake and tremble, as the might of millions and quad-trillions of fedoras began to form into his sweaty and fat-filled fist. His heart pumped cholesterol-filled blood throughout his stuffy and obese veins as he harvested the power.

"NOOOO!!! How could this happen!?!?" Sombra began to go crazy, running around and banging his entire body against every piece of surface he could find. The neckbeard then spoke once more, his voice so loud it make Sombra deaf.

"BEGONE, FOUL CREATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Unleashing his power, he grabbed the holy and mighty Godstite Fedora that lay in-front of him, tossing it as his foe. The fedora broke the speed of light several billion times as it made it's way to Sombra, the amount of sound being made making everything in Equestria explode from the loudness.

When the mighty fedora made contact with Sombra, it caused an explosion so huge it equaled the power of multiple googolplexianths. The blast was so great it caused the entire universe to explode and re-construct itself, simulating the power of a thousand big bangs. Time began to twist and turn as nothing in the universe began to make sense. The universe wasn't created to ever expect such a massive explosion.

Time began to warp as all the atoms of the world zoomed around and collided with each other. Atoms that used to harvest our memories within our brains, now unrecognizable and useless in the universe's eye. Nothing was recognizable now-- everything had broken down so much that it was all the same. The universe was now a barren wasteland of nothingness.

All that remained now was the neckbeard, who looked upon everything. The power of the fedora had kept him safe from the explosion. Alas, he only had a limited amount of time, as there was no oxygen.

"At least... Now I get, to play the part of God." Taking the fedora from his head, he held it to his heart, closing his eyes. "Oh fedora, grant me my one final wish... Oh fedora how I love thee, how thee kept me safe and protected me through elementary school and middle school, I love thee." The fedora began to glow, before transforming into anthro Fluttershy's pair of huge titties. The neckbeard opened his eyes, and gazed upon the two beauties, before reaching out his hands, grabbing and squeezing the two sacks of fat.

"A-aaaah M'lady... your breasts... at last... my dream has f-finally.. come... true...." The neckbeard exhaled his last breath, having died in complete bliss. All was over now-- he had saved everyone in the universe from life itself. Everyone was now destined to no longer exist.. to become that which is nothing. The neckbeard glided effortlessly through the wasteland of the known universe with the pair of titties in his hand, forever destined to float and exist.

Lyra gasped, bolting her eyes open as she sat up in her bed. She looked around for a few seconds, before exhaling slowly, hanging her head down slightly. "Gosh that was a weird dream... hey Bonbon? Are you up yet?" She looked to her right, the pony lying under the covers with her back faced towards Lyra. "Bonbon?" She began to lightly shake the pony, who started to turn around. Upon seeing the mare's face, Lyra gasped loudly in shock and horror. Bonbon's face was dark and distorted, her eyes pitch black with a shade of white inside of them-- more like a fog. Her entire face was also disfigured, having several mouths and muzzles on it. Her two eyes were displaced on her face as well.

"This is just a dream too, Lyra.." Bonbon said quietly. Although she couldn't see it, Lyra could feel Bonbon gazing into her eyes. "Everything was a dream. We... atoms and molecules just floating.. space, clumped up into groups that happened.. form memories." Bonbon's voice cut out like static as she talked.

"Wh..what do you mean? What the heck is going on?"

"We are fictional." Bonbon stated flatly. "God has created a catastrophe within.. universe. Everything is now random and completely.. now."

"So.. did we both die?"

"Technically, no and yes. From now on nothing will ever be the same, though. What made you to be Lyra And me to be your marefriend Bonbon will be spread everywhere now. Everyone will form anew."

"Bonbon you're freaking me out now.. c-can you like wake me up or something? Usually when I have nightmares you would've woken me up by now.."

"Let me help." Bonbon lifted her hoof, which had all the fur and skin ripped off from it-- all that was there was a bone with some attached muscle. Aiming towards Lyra's stomach, she pierced it with her boney hoof, ripping open Lyra's entire chest. Lyra only gasped as she watched in horror, not knowing what to do. Bonbon took Lyra's small intestine and began to pull it out, wrapping it around Lyra's neck. She proceeded to do the same with her large intestine, before looking into Lyra's eyes.

"I wish our love could keep us together.. but nothing differentiates that from anything else in the universe." As Bonbon was talking, Lyra could seemingly feel herself start to wake up.

"H-huh?? Wait Bonbon I think I'm finally waking up now! Jus--" Lyra was cut off as Bonbon yanked hard on the two intestines, decapitating Lyra's head. She watched as it began to float around in the remains of the room, which was slowly deteriorating.

"If this is what the mighty fedora wanted, then I must be too stupid to realize it's true intentions. Maybe only if I had the gift of Autism I would be able to realize.. but it's too late now." Bonbon watched as her face began to become consumed in the black abyss, soon unrecognizable. It was all over now.

Author's Note

kek