Oh sweet Celestia, help me! Twilight thought as she slammed the library door closed. Quickly, she channeled her magic through her horn and shaped into that of a bubble. It wasn't that difficult; she had used the same spell to keep out the Cutie Mark Crusaders when they had printed those horrible articles about everypony. Tears began to form in her eyes at the thought of the young fillies, now reduced to shadows of their former selves. Seemingly overnight, a sickness had overtaken almost everypony in town, turning them into creatures whose only sustenance consisted of the flesh of fellow ponies.
The unicorn was yanked out of her mourning when she heard impacts coming from outside. Knowing that the sources of the noises were what remained of her friends, she covered her head with her hooves and cowered in the middle of the floor, not wanting to face what was out there.
Apparently, the universe had other plans. "Twilight! We know you're in there! Come on out!" It was so hard to believe that Pinkie Pie wasn't her same old self, but a horrendous monster. Part of Twilight wanted to drop the magical barrier around her home and gallop out towards her, but the rational part of her mind knew what waited in store for her there.
The not-Pinkie continued after Twilight's silence. "Well, if you'don't want to come out, I might have just the thing to convince you!" With that, somepony began to strum an acoustic guitar. "Hit it, Dashie!"
"Heya Twi, it's Dash, and the rest of the gang's here too.
Good ta see you, buddy. How've you been?
Things have been cool for us, except that we're all zombies now.
Really wish you'd let us in."
Suddenly, Applejack's familiar drawl replaced Rainbow Dash's voice.
"Ah think ah speak fer all of us when ah say ah understand,
why y'all might hesitate ta submit ta our demands.
Ah jus' though ya'd llike ta know,
yer the next ta go, Twilight!"
The music swelled and a cacophony of voices called out to her. Apparently, all of Ponyville had shown up at her door.
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
Pinkie interrupted them to put in her two bits.
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
The party pony once again interjected.
"We're at an impasse here.
Maybe we should compromise."
"If you lower your little shield,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains!"
As the chorus wound down, Twilight ran up the stairs and began searching for something, anything to help her. Aletter to Celestia for help, maybe? No, she hadn't seen Spike since she'd sent him for more quills that morning. He was probably out there with the rest of them. Suddenly, Rarity's melodious voice reached the mare's ears.
"I don't want to nitpick, dear, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole life hiding inside a dome?
Maybe that's alright for now, but soon you'll get tired and drop the ball,
and we'll all invade your home.
I admit that I'm surprised you haven't thought this through enough.
You're usually the type for all that bigger picture stuff.
But it'll all turn out okay, because we're eating you today, darling!"
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're at an impasse here.
Maybe we should compromise."
"If you lower your little shield,
we'll all come inside and eat your brains!"
Twilight's curiosity finally got the better of her and she threw open the doors leading to her balcony. Looking over the crowd, her heart caught in her throat. There were all the ponies she knew, standing with bloodied coats and chunks torn out of their skin. Finding Pinkie, the unicorn saw her prod the former Fluttershy and heard her begin to sing.
"I want to help, Twilight, in any way I can.
I know this is all really scary.
I'm not a monster, well, um... technically I am.
I guess I am..."
Her voice faded into a mournful guitar solo. Zombie Pinkie had somewhere produced a Les Pony out of thin air, just like the random antics she did before her transformation. Twilight choked back a sob and ran back into the library, trying anything to escape the music that reminded her of what all her friends had become, but the noise followed her wherever she ran. Eventually, she stopped sprinting pell-mell around her house and sat in the floor to gather her thoughts, but Pinkie's Celestia-damned song once again interrupted her.
This is getting crazy, Twi, could we please just wrap this up?
We'll get you outta there somehow.
Meanwhile I'll let you talk to the Princesses who are heading over here.
I guess we'll forget 'bout this for now."
The next thing the unicorn knew, Celestia and Luna were standing before her, manic grins on their muzzles and dried blood marring their usually pristine coats. A feeling of dread filled the mare as they began to sing as well.
"Glad to see that you've held out for this long,
but now it's time to embrace what's been said in this song.
And we can put this thing to rest,
while we're eating through your chest cavity!"
Twilight blanched and Luna raised her voice.
"EVERYPONY!"
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"There's no more impasse here.
It's too late to compromise."
"We're lowering the dome,
so they can come inside and eat your brains!"
The last thing Twilight felt as she lost conciousness was the combined magic of the two former princesses destroying her magic barrier.
A/N Just a stupid idea I had while listening to "Re: Your Brains" on Pandora, my second favorite song by Jonathon Coulton, right behind Code Monkey, but that's impossible to ponify. Let me know what you think in the comments, but honestly, this is retarded.
