Lovey Dovey and the Business Pony

by Crystal Wishes

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character
Length: 9295

Lovey Dovey is a professional matchmaker tasked with finding a special somepony for Magnate, a hard-working stallion who doesn't believe in love. Has Lovey finally met her match?

Lovey Dovey is not only a professional matchmaker, but she's pretty sure she's the best in all of Equestria! What happens when Lovey hears about an eligible bachelor in Manehattan that isn't giving any mares the time of day? Well, she packs her bags and hops on the next train, of course!

Published 2015-02-09 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-09 22:40:01 UTC

Ready...

Lovey Dovey smiled the same smile she had been holding for the past ten minutes, and shifted slightly on her favorite beanbag chair. She kept her focus on her client, a nervous blue mare by the name of Blue Bows. The mare glanced around the private office in Lovey's home, her ears slowly pinning back against her mane, until she bolted upright.

"I—I'm sorry, but I can't go through with this! I've changed my mind." Blue Bows turned and galloped for the door. "I'm sorry for wasting your time!"

Lovey pursed her lips. She rose from the beanbag and walked over to the window, watching as Blue Bows fled across the street. Her vision filled with a flash of pink lines when Blue Bows bumped into a stallion, seemed to apologize, then kept running.

The moment Lovey saw the two break eye contact, she felt it in her chest: two thumps followed by a hard, resounding tha-THUMP!

Lovey knew this feeling all too well. It was a heart attack—the kind that alerted her that delicate force she knew as love had been knocked out of balance. Somepony needed to do something, and as Equestria's best matchmaker, she was definitely that somepony!

Her hooves moved faster than her thoughts as she zoomed out of the office and toward the front door. Sitting at the coffee table was her best friend and even better secretary, Juniper, who didn't even look up as Lovey blurred past.

"Good morning, Lovey." Juniper smiled and waved one hoof. "Good luck, Lovey."

"Thanks!" Lovey managed to chirp over her shoulder just as she flew outside.

Her heart pounded hard against her ribs. When she spotted the two ponies again—now further apart from each other, the pink line connecting them taut and ready to snap—she flapped harder to catch up with Blue Bows.

"Hey, you! Stop!" Though Lovey attempted to slow down by spreading her wings out to the sides, her body continued to propel forward much too fast. "Eep! Stop, me! Stop, st—" She collided into Blue Bows with an unfortunate thwump, and they both tumbled to the grass.

"What the—?!" Blue Bows squeaked under the sudden weight. "Lovey! I—I said I'm sorry!"

Lovey jumped up and grabbed Blue Bows by the tail with one hoof. Fueled by a fire to fix what went wrong, she dragged the startled mare back toward the oblivious stallion. "Your turn to stop! Hey, Mr. Blue-Yellow Stallion!"

That seemed to be enough to catch the attention of the stallion in question. When he looked over his shoulder, his eyes widened at the sight of Lovey's rapid approach. "Huh?"

"You nearly lost something!" Lovey exclaimed, letting go of the tail she held and side-stepping to reveal the somewhat irate and very confused Blue Bows. "Here you are."

With that, Lovey started to return home, a hum in her throat and a skip in her step. Warmth radiated from the pair she left behind, tickling the back of her neck like a gentle nuzzle.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" she heard the stallion ask.

There was a brief pause before Blue Bows replied, "Oh, um, well, I'm..."

She didn't need to hear any more than that. All was well with the world again.

"Success?" Juniper asked when Lovey walked back into the living room.

Lovey giggled. "Well, of course! That makes my one thousandth nine-hundred and ninety-ninth match, you know. Who's next on the waiting list? I'm eager to hit two thousand!"

Juniper lifted a notebook and flipped through a few pages. "Let me see. We have two ponies in Appleoosa that I think are actually talking about each other but oblivious to the others' feelings. There's a mare in Manehattan that claims her brother is in desperate need of a match. I also have—"

"Oooh, that one sounds like fun!" Lovey flapped her wings to raise off the ground. "Did she say anything about him?"

"Mm." Juniper's gaze scanned the page. "He's tall, dark, and handsome..."

"Aren't they all?" Lovey giggled. She could picture it: a super handsome stallion with too many mares throwing themselves at him, unable to decide which one is the right one. Been there, done that!

"... he's rich and well-established..."

Yup, this was going to be a breeze. All she had to do was round up all of his suitors and figure out which one was his true love. Maybe a two-day matchmaking session, tops.

"... and he has refused every mare that has asked him on a date."

Lovey froze and floated down to the ground, no longer flapping to keep herself aloft. "What? Every mare?" She whirled around to face Juniper. "Why?"

Juniper's ears fell back and she tentatively explained, "Well, apparently, according to the sister, he—he doesn't believe in love."

Lovey stared, mouth agape, eyes wide. Horror froze her blood right in her veins. How could somepony not believe in love? What happened to all the suitors she envisioned?

Finally, after blinking a few times, Lovey exclaimed, "Cancel all of my other appointments! I must go to Manehattan immediately!"

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

"Oh, Miss Dovey, you—"

"Lovey is fine, please." Lovey smiled as she raised the teacup to her lips, sipped, and hummed with delight. "And this tea is absolutely divine!"

Silk Stocking returned the smile with a weaker one. "Thank you, Miss Lovey." She fidgeted nervously, twiddling her hooves and glancing down at her lap. "As I was saying, you absolutely must help my brother. If not for his own sake, then for our family's."

Lovey's smile faded. "What do you mean?"

Silk Stocking flinched. "You may not know of us, because you're not from here, Miss Lovey. We are a well-known family in this city. A long line of business tycoons, you see. But if Magnate does not wed, the family line ends with us." A hoof unconsciously raised to rest on her stomach, a sad look flashing across her face.

Lovey looked around the room, tapping her hoof against her chin. Detailed paintings lined the walls of various ponies, their attire suggesting eras long gone by. "So you're old blood?"

"Yes, Miss Lovey."

With her smile renewed, Lovey puffed out her chest and gave a quick flick of her mane. "Well, you can count on me to find Magnate's true love!"

"Oh, Miss Lovey." Silk Stocking shook her head. Tears were in the very corners of her eyes, like Lovey had said something sad—which she was fairly certain she hadn't. "I'm not asking you to find his true love. There's no hope for him in that regard. I just need you to find somepony that can love him and continue our family."

"What?" Lovey gasped. The teacup fell from her hooves and shattered on the ground while she hopped up into the air, her wings flapping and her eyes narrowed. Papers and other nearby light objects flew from their resting places at the sudden movement of air. "I, Lovey Dovey, promise you that I will find his true love! There is somepony out there for everypony, and on my life as a matchmaker, I know I will find his!"

Silk Stocking's horn lit up and she gathered the pieces of broken china. She said nothing, but kept her gaze downcast, lips tightly pursed, and eyes half closed.

Lovey, returning to her senses, winced. "I'm so—"

"It's quite all right, Miss Lovey." Silk Stocking offered a weak attempt at a smile. "I appreciate your enthusiasm. I only hope you can maintain it despite my brother's... shortcomings."

Lovey waved a dismissive hoof. She landed back on the sofa and crossed her legs. "Nonsense! Once I meet him, I will feel the love line of fate tugging at his heart. I just have to find the other end." Her eyes glittered. She could already imagine how happy Silk Stocking would finally be! "Won't it be wonderful?"

Silk Stocking inclined her head to look at one of the paintings on the wall. She sighed as well, though hers was much more forlorn. "It would be indeed, Miss Lovey."

Lovey giggled. "Don't worry your pretty little head, madam. I'm on the job!" She got off the couch and trotted over to the doors. "Mister Magnate will fall head over hooves for the mare or stallion I find for him!"

"I—I would prefer a mare for him," Silk Stocking stammered, surprise constricting her voice into a high pitch. "A stallion would defeat the purpose of my request."

Lovey froze. "What?" She whirled around on her hindhooves. "I'm terribly sorry, Silk Stocking, but love does not follow purpose or request! I can't guarantee that he's destined to be with a mare, and I won't force him away from his true love." She frowned and punctuated her point with a stomp of one hoof. "It would violate my ethics as a matchmaker."

Silk Stocking's cheeks turned bright red. After a very careful, thoughtful moment, she said in a soft and cautious voice, "I suppose, if you find out that he would be happy with a stallion, then I won't force the issue further."

"Then we're agreed!" She twirled back to the doors, threw them open, and trotted out. "Toodles!"

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

It seemed strange to her that Magnate, despite coming from a wealthy family with a big manor, lived in a tiny apartment. Lovey swirled the bubblegum lollipop to the other side of her mouth and shifted her stance against a lamppost, waiting for the stallion. Even stranger to her was that he was late to work. The sun was already well over the horizon!

She waited a while longer before gasping and slapping a hoof to her forehead. "Silly me!" She broke into a gallop. "He's already at work!" Her wings snapped out to the sides and with one big leap and equally big flap, she took off into the air.

Silk Stocking had told her that he worked in an office on the fourteenth floor of Eminence Tower, which was the tallest building in all of Manehattan. When she reached it, she slowed her wings' pace and paused periodically to peer into each office window of the specified floor.

Finally, she spotted a pony that seemed to match Magnate's description. She perched on the ledge just above the window and leaned down to get a better look. His brown coat, dirty blond mane and tail, briefcase cutie mark, and office location matched the information she had tucked away in her mind.

Tall... Check.

Dark... She'd seen darker stallions, but she'd also seen lighter ones, too. Check?

Handsome... She squinted. His back was to her, but it seemed like a nice enough back. Check.

Yup, this had to be Magnate!

Lovey shifted some to try to get into a more comfortable position on the ledge that was barely a hoof's width. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then opened her eyes again as she exhaled. Her heart fluttered at first, then broke out into heavy pounding all the way to her ears.

It was unlike anything she'd ever felt. The more she thought about him and focused on his love line, the harder her heart thumped against her chest. His soulmate must be very close! She squealed with excitement and lost her balance, toppling head over hooves off the ledge. She fell freely for a moment before her wings spread out to catch her, slowing her fall to a downward spiral to the sidewalk below.

The feeling had been so strong, in fact, she was certain that, if his sister had just waited a few more days, he would have met his special somepony on his own. Happily, she trotted down the sidewalk, trying to follow the beat of her heart, but it suddenly calmed down. She stopped in her tracks and blinked a few times when the fluttering returned just as quickly as it had stopped.

"What's this?" She looked down at herself, raising a hoof to her chest. "C'mon, you. Where are we going?"

She dismissed the stares she received for talking aloud to herself and continued walking in a jagged circle. When she had to stop to cross a street, she sighed and frowned at nothing in particular.

Where did his love line lead? Every step she took, she seemed to be getting further from the tug that usually guided her to a pony's match. When she turned around to walk the other way, she had the same feeling of putting distance between herself and the destination.

"No, no, no! It can't be that way, because it wasn't that way a moment ago!"

The ponies nearby shuffled to distance themselves from her while her wings drooped. Normally, her heart would serve as a divining rod once she was focused on a love line. Instead of fluttering when she was warm and slowing down when she was cold, it beat erratically and without any sense.

"Oh, chin up, Lovey." She raised her head. "Let's keep moving, hooves!"

She stopped at a coffee shop across the street from Eminence Tower. She took a deep breath and scanned the occupants of the room, nearly overwhelmed by the love lines tugging her heart in all different directions. Her gaze landed on the barista, a cute little mare who smiled back at her.

"Hello!" the mare chirped. Her blonde coat had a few stains on it, likely from coffee mishaps, and her chestnut-colored mane was tied back into a high ponytail. "What can I get ya?"

Lovey walked up to the counter. She glanced at the mare's name tag, which read 'Hello, my name is Cocoa Brew.' "Oh, something with lots of cream. Do you perhaps have something with strawberries? Or chocolate is fine, but I do so love strawberries. But it's a little too early for chocolate, don't you think?"

Cocoa's smile never wavered. "Well, I can make a strawberry smoothie, if you want, ma'am!"

Lovey tapped her chin to ponder this. "But I wonder..." She paused to stare intently at the mare. Her love line was still untapped! "You're single, aren't you?"

"Huh?" Cocoa blinked and tilted her head. "Y-Yes. Why?"

"There's a stallion, you see, and I'm trying to find him a special somepony." She stared at her again. This time, her heart seemed to be cooperating and started to pull her toward the door. "One moment, please!"

She trotted out onto the sidewalk, her heart beating firmly, and when she realized she was being led to Eminence Tower, she gasped. Frantically, she hurried back inside and to the counter. "Cocoa! Your love line leads to Eminence Tower!"

"My... what?" Cocoa furrowed her brow uncertainly. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

Lovey waved a hoof. "Forget about me! Do you know a stallion who works at Eminence Tower by the name of Magnate? He's tall, dark, and handsome."

Cocoa offered a weak smile and shrugged. "I suppose that name rings a bell? I'm sorry, I get a lot of customers from there, and I don't always get their names."

Lovey paced back and forth in thought. "He's a business pony, and you're destined for somepony there." She paused to test the theory by staring at her once more. "My heart can't be wrong! I mean, how many other single ponies are in the tower, anyway?"

"W-Well—"

"It's worth a shot!" She beamed at the mare. "I mean, after all, I'm sure you're a good coffee maker, and somepony who does business is sure to be happy with a mare that can make a good brew!" She paused, then squinted at her. "You can make a good brew, can't you?"

Cocoa's cheeks started to turn red. "I... Oh!" Completely flustered, she fumbled with a small cup. "I guess, um, how about a sample of our espresso? It's very popular."

Lovey smiled brightly. "That'll work!"

Cocoa worked the espresso machine, the blush never leaving her cheeks. She glanced up at Lovey as she handed over the cup. "C-Careful. It's hot."

Lovey paused to sniff the drink. It was rich, bitter, and heavy... She scrunched up her nose but still managed a smile. "It smells like business! Well, bottom's up!" Without any further delay, she tossed back the whole sample.

Cocoa stared with wide eyes. "Ma'am! Are you okay?!"

Lovey remained perfectly still. Her whole mouth and throat were screaming in pain, but the worst part of all was what she could taste before she had burned off all of her taste buds. Judging by how much she hated it, it was probably really good.

She managed a crooked smile. "F... Fine. I'm fine." She tried to breathe evenly. "Do you want to meet the stallion?"

Cocoa's face went bright red again. "Wh-Who is Magnate, exactly?"

Lovey finally regained her composure. She sighed before smiling at the mare. "Oh, he's a business pony. I'm told he's a little hard to get along with but I'm sure he's a softie because his sister cares so much about him!"

Cocoa’s brow furrowed in confusion before she tried to smile. "I see... Well, um, I have some free time on Wednesday. Is that okay?"

Lovey's wings fluttered in excitement. "Perfect! That gives me plenty of time to meet him!" She dropped several bits on the counter. "Is that enough for that espresso and a strawberry smoothie?"

Cocoa nodded slowly, still trying to catch up. "One strawberry smoothie, coming right up!"

Set...

In a tall building known as Eminence Tower, overlooking the bright city of Manehattan, Magnate was sitting in his office, sorting through paperwork. His ear flicked at the sound of hooffalls growing near and he looked up.

"Starting the week off drowning in paperwork already, eh?" one of his coworkers asked, leaning against the doorway, grinning.

"Must you ask that question every Monday?" He rolled his eyes.

The stallion's grin fell and he straightened up. "Well, if you'd give me a proper answer, maybe I'd give you a new question."

Magnate lifted his gaze from his desk to watch the stallion through the glass wall that separated him from the rest of the floor. He had wanted to put up blinds, or to paint over the glass entirely, but his supervisor insisted that it was good for him to see other ponies.

The stallion's name was of little consequence; it was some simple name such as Deal Maker or something similar, not a proud family name like his own. Magnate. It was the only thing his father had given him that he still kept.

'Deal Maker' joined up with a group of their coworkers and they all filed out of the main office together. Magnate frowned at this and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was lunch time already. Where had the morning gone?

He snorted and returned his attention to the paperwork in front of him. The quarterly reports were due at the end of the week and he couldn't waste any time on distractions. Besides, he always had his lunch delivered.

Eventually, the cubicles in the main area were emptied one by one until he heard no sounds outside. He sighed, contented to know that they had all left and he was finally alone.

Magnate worked through the papers, his magic alternating between an adding machine and a notepad, until a pain began to grow behind his eyes and he had to take a break. He looked out the window at the bustling streets below Eminence Tower. A busy, pointless world buzzed by and he acknowledged it all with a disapproving frown.

Walking about, doing some shopping, or partying: all of that precious time that could be spent working toward a real goal. Every second he wasn't working, he was slipping behind another, harder-working pony desiring the top position in the company.

He rubbed his eyes with both hooves and turned back around. As he did so, his gaze immediately landed on a bright collage of various pinks. Sitting on his desk was a light, creamy pink pegasus mare with a tri-pink-colored mane and tail. Bright pink hearts adorned her flank, a few wandering down to rest on her thighs.

He could only describe what he saw as absolutely horrifying and he fell backwards off his bench in surprise.

Lovey giggled, spread her wings, and stretched out her forelegs. "Hello!" she squealed in a sugary-sweet voice.

Magnate shook his head abruptly and frowned, one hoof raised in demand. "Exactly who are you? How did you get into my office? And for that matter, how did you get past security?"

"You mean those handsome ponies downstairs? Oh, they let me in when I said I had this for you!" She gestured to a brown paper bag in her lap. "Your lunch! I decided to deliver it to you so that poor delivery colt didn't have to suffer."

"Suffer... ?"

Lovey hooked her hooves together and looked down at him. "Yes, certainly! He's overworked enough as it is without having to climb all those stairs or wait for an elevator!"

Magnate stared at her with a blank expression. "It's his job to deliver my food." He started to right himself and stood onto all fours. "Nevertheless, that doesn't explain who you are and why you're in my office."

"Oh, right!" Lovey giggled. "I'm Lovey Dovey and I've been hired to be your love guide!"

"My..."

"Love guide."

They stared at one another, Lovey smiling brightly, Magnate nearing a scowl. Silence ticked by before he groaned.

"I don't know what this is all about, but you can tell whoever put you up to this task to kindly shove it right back wherever this idea festered."

Lovey slid off the desk to instead sit on the bench, no longer seeming to listen to him. "All right, Mr. Magnate. Let's discuss your love journey. I've already found a potential—"

"No." He shoved his face in hers. "No, we certainly will not discuss anything of the sort. Get off my bench and out of my office."

She scooted to the edge of the bench and gestured to the empty space. He shook his head.

"Get out."

Lovey hummed thoughtfully before she stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow, then!"

Magnate grumbled as he sat down. "You will not."

"Will, too!" she singsonged as she trotted out of his office. She moved almost silently, her hooves barely touching the floor as she pranced. "Good afternoon, Magnate!"

Magnate waited until she had disappeared around a corner. Slowly, he leaned forward and buried his face in his hooves. "What the hay is going on... ?"

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Magnate made the same journey from his apartment to the office every morning. He walked down the flight of stairs, bought a copy of the morning news from the colt at the corner, and took a moment to glance over the headlines while he waited to cross the street. Taxi carts were always zooming by at that hour. They buzzed around town at every hour, but particularly in the morning.

He stopped by a small, curbside coffee station for his usual morning cup of joe. There were no pleasantries exchanged between him and the clerk. He stepped up after standing in line, nodded in silent greeting, and read a few more headlines as his cup was poured. Black, no sugar.

Before he could pay, however, a pink hoof reached around his peripheral vision and dropped a couple of bits on the counter. Dread filled him as his gaze followed the hoof to its owner. He jumped when he discovered a beaming smile much too close to his face.

"You," he grumbled, irritation dripping from the single word.

"Good morning!" Lovey chirped.

Magnate rolled his eyes, levitated the coffee cup, and started to walk away. He heard the gentle flap of wings as the pink nightmare followed him.

"So, based on my encounter with you yesterday, and following you this morning when you left your apartment, and—oh! Yes, also the information your sister gave me." She paused, seeming to have lost her own train of thought, then giggled.

He tried to quicken his pace, but the much-too-cheerful voice remained just behind him.

"Yes, yes! As I was saying, I've put together a good profile of you, I think. I have a candidate lined up, but I don't know your preferences in a special somepony, so if you'd just stop for a moment?"

The doors to his office building were in sight and at first he was relieved, but a wave of horror washed over him at the thought of her following him inside. If his colleagues saw them together...

"What?!" he yelled as he turned to face her. "What do you want?!"

"Oh, no, Magnate, this is about your wants, not mine!" Lovey smiled brilliantly at him. She pulled out a clipboard from Celestia knew where and raised a pencil, attached by a string, with her mouth. She took a quick note, then dropped the pencil to continue, "I've prepared a couple questions so I can get to know you better. Then I'll be on my way!"

"You'll leave if I answer some questions?" She nodded, and desperation pushed the words out of his mouth faster than he could think them through. "All right, then. Make it quick. I haven't got all morning."

Lovey floated to the ground and sat on her haunches. "Great! So, then, first thing's first: mares, stallions, either, other, or undecided?"

Magnate stared at her.

"Hmm..." She tilted her head as she waited for an answer, then picked up the pencil and mumbled, "Unbefibeb ib is..." She dropped the pencil to continue more clearly, "Next: do you consider yourself romantic or practical?"

He just continued to stare.

She returned the stare with a thoughtful squint. "Practical." She made a note of this. "What is your ideal first date?"

Slowly, his hoof raised and started to rub his temple. Lovey didn't seem to pick an answer for him this time, however, so he grumbled, "None."

Lovey pursed her lips. "None? Hmm... Tricky, but on my honor, I'll make it happen!" She smiled. "Customer satisfaction is my policy, after all."

"Great." He took a step back. "I would be very satisfied if you would let me go to work."

"Oh, but—" The glare he shot her gave her pause and she sighed. "Well, I suppose I have enough to work with." She smiled and waved. "Have a good day at work, Magnate! Cross your hooves!"

"For what?" he asked as he turned to walk away.

"That I find more candidates for your heart before the week is through!"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, of course. Hooves crossed. I can't wait."

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

"The quarterly reports are done, sir," Magnate said as he dropped a folder full of papers on his boss's desk.

"You still have until Friday if you want to double-check them, Magnate." Rare Chance eyed the stack of papers barely contained in the manila folder.

Magnate kept his gaze steady and forward. "Already did that, sir."

Rare Chance chuckled and pulled the folder toward his side of the desk. "Don't know why I even question you. Hardest working pony in the company. First one to get your reports in, too." He winked. "Good things are coming your way, I'm sure of it."

Magnate allowed the faintest of smiles. "Thank you, sir." He turned and walked out of the office. He even added an extra step to his gait in proud victory. A promotion was likely on its way and he'd be in senior management soon. He could almost smell the... espresso? He blinked a few times as he turned the corner into his office and halted.

The unfortunately familiar pink bane was there, but this time she had company. A blonde and chestnut mare stood beside her, holding a little serving tray with a thermos and a cup on it.

Her cheeks were red and Magnate heard her whisper to Lovey, "Is that him?" When she nodded, Cocoa smiled at him. "H-Hello!" She held out the tray. "Would you like some espresso?"

Magnate remained where he was in the doorway. He acknowledged Cocoa with a scowl that sent her wilting, then turned his piercing gaze on Lovey. "What is this?" he asked in a cold, even tone.

Lovey smiled. "Your potential soulmate!" She gestured at Cocoa with both hooves, wiggling them for dramatic effect. "Ta-da!"

Magnate released a heavy sigh through his teeth. "Get out of my office." He stepped out of the way and pointed. "Both of you. Out. Now."

Cocoa, in her panic, dropped the tray. The thermos bounced on the floor harmlessly, but the cup of already poured espresso spilled onto the carpet. "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Forget about it. Just, please, get out. I'm sorry that this pest of a mare has dragged you all the way here and wasted your time, but I'm not interested."

Cocoa looked to Lovey for help, but her gaze was fixed firmly on Magnate. Embarrassed and confused, Cocoa bowed her head, mumbled another apology, and fled the room.

The silence was tense. Magnate kept his hoof pointing toward the door. Her wings trembled until they suddenly unfurled like tightly coiled springs and she yelled, "How could you act like that?!"

Magnate opened his mouth to respond, but his ear twitched at the sound of nearby murmuring. He looked out into the main office area to see all eyes on them. He growled and shut the door before looking back at Lovey. "This is a place of business. My place of business."

"I don't care whose place of business this is! You don't treat a pony like that!" She stomped her front hooves against the floor. "Okay, so perhaps I was mistaken and you like stallions, but you could be more polite about it!"

He stared at her with his mouth open. It took a few moments to regain his composure. "That's what you think I'm upset about?" Though he didn't want it to show, he almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. The laugh came out as a strangled chuckle. "You're just a simple-minded mare, aren't you?" He walked over to his desk and sat down. "I have work to do. Get out of my office and don't come back."

Her wings started to fold back to her sides. "I have work to do, too." She pouted. "Just because you don't respect it doesn't make it any less important of a job!"

Magnate sighed. "Then do your job elsewhere."

"As you wish! Toodles!" she said in a suddenly chipper tone and he realized he should have thought his words through a little more carefully.

Before he could stop her, she left his office and trotted through the main area, all eyes following her. The pit of his stomach knotted up with unease as many of the eyes returned to him, most accompanied by grins. He tried to shake his head, but their minds were already made up about what they saw, and that filled him with a sense of dread.

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Magnate allowed a stifled yawn as he walked out of the building to head home. It was finally Friday, and he was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. He planned to stay inside as much as possible to avoid more encounters with Lovey.

Unfortunately, a pink blur seemed to have other plans as it buzzed past him, grabbing one of his forelegs and nearly dragging him down the sidewalk.

"L-Lovey?!" He tried to struggle against her, but she was surprisingly strong. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing my job elsewhere!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

Rather than dislocate his shoulder, he quickened the pace of his other three legs to match her speed. "And where, exactly, is elsewhere?"

"A bar, of course!" She smiled, quite pleased with herself. "I thought about it, and where do business ponies go after work? To a bar! So clearly that's where I need to take you. I can feel it in my hooves!"

He rolled his eyes but, having no real choice with her tight grip on his foreleg, he followed alongside her. She took them to a building he didn't recognize and sat him down at the bar.

"Have a drink, Magnate." She fluttered her wings in excitement. "I'm going to scout out the candidates in the room!" With that, she pranced away.

Magnate sat there for a moment, then turned to face the bartender. "Cider. And make it hard."

"Comin' up, sir," the bartender replied and walked away to retrieve a mug.

He hadn't even had any of his drink when a mare sat next to him.

"Here you go!" Lovey said from behind them. "This is the stallion I mentioned, he—"

"Next," Magnate interrupted.

"Next?" Lovey and the mare asked at the same time with the same confused tone.

He nodded. "Yup." He took a quick sip of the hard cider. It hit the back of his throat and burned a little, but he didn't let it show on his stoic face. "Not interested. Next."

"Oh... Sorry!" Lovey grabbed the mare's hoof and pulled her away. She returned a few moments later with another mare. "How about—"

"Next." He tried not to smile. He could keep this up all night if necessary. Though she was rather persistent, as evidenced by several more attempts that he dismissed, he was stubborn and patient. She'd have to give up soon.

Lovey must have brought him every single mare in and just outside the building over the course of the next hour. With a heavy sigh, she dropped down onto the stool beside him.

Magnate glanced at her and then flagged down the bartender with a wave and eye contact. "Something with strawberries for the mare." He nodded his head toward Lovey.

"How... How did you know I liked strawberries?" She looked at the glass of dark pink, almost red liquid that was set down in front of her and sniffed it curiously.

He frowned. "It was just a guess."

"Oh." Thirst from having been walking around the bar for over an hour seemed to overtake her and she downed the whole thing. "Another!" she exclaimed, waving at the bartender. The second drink she sipped more slowly to enjoy the flavor.

After they had sat in silence for a while, he asked, "Why won't you just give up?"

Lovey jerked her head to the side to pout at him. "Because I refuse to give up on you, Magnate!"

"But I don't even want your help. It's not giving up if I ask you to stop."

"Don't you want to fall in love?" she asked softly.

"I've gotten this far without it." He took another sip from his glass. "I'm happy with my life as it is."

"But..." She swallowed before turning to face him, her expression as serious as a pink pony's could be. "Magnate, I've been a matchmaker for years now. I've seen the magic of love. It's... It's such a wonderful thing that every pony deserves!" She tapped her hooves together almost bashfully as a blush somehow managed to show against her already pink cheeks.

"Love is a kind of warmth that never fades," she mumbled. "Having somepony to come home to. Having somepony there to enjoy the simple moments with. Love is..." Her gaze didn't meet his. "wonderful, never having to be alone again."

Although he did listen to every word, he couldn't help but roll his eyes and snort after her monologue. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I have no interest in any of that. You can stop wasting your and my sister's time now."

"No!" She put both hooves on his shoulders. "Magny, I know you don't believe in love, but I can feel it. There is a very special somepony waiting for you right now. I know you're a nice pony, because you put up with me tonight, and you're looking me in the eyes, and your eyes are really pretty."

"I— What?" His mouth wiggled as he tried not to grin. "Are you drunk from a fruity little drink?"

Lovey squinted. "Strawberries can't make you drunk."

He lost the battle and finally grinned. "No, but alcohol can."

"You put alcohol in my drink?" She gasped and leaned back, wobbling slightly. "You're not a nice pony at all!"

A short laugh escaped him. "You're the one that brought us to a bar, Lovey!" He shook his head. "I think you've had enough fun for tonight. Let's get you home."

She pursed her lips. "But I can't go back to Ponyville until you fall in love!"

"Not that home, I meant... Where are you staying here in Manehattan?"

"Oh, your sister is super nice! She's letting me stay at the manor." She tilted her head to one side. "You should stay at the manor. It's big enough for you and your special somepony!" She paused, then asked, "Why don't you stay at the manor?"

Magnate slid off his bar stool and gestured for her to do the same. "I refuse to take you there. We'll find you a nice hotel to stay at instead."

"Okay!" She slid off her stool and right down to the floor. She blinked when she found herself eye-level with his hooves. "Nope!"

"What do you mean, 'nope'?" He frowned down at her. "Get up."

Lovey wiggled all of her legs helplessly, resembling an octopus out of water. "Can't."

"What do—oh." He sighed. "Are you serious?" His horn lit up and lifted her off the ground. He braced himself as he lowered her onto his back, then blinked when he hardly felt her added weight at all. For how surprisingly strong she had been dragging him to this loud, dim, and crowded bar, she was just as surprisingly light.

"Oh, Magny, I'm fine." She wiggled her legs, then gave up the struggle and slumped. "I'm not fine."

He couldn't just dump her at a hotel like this. He did have a couch... With a sigh, he started toward the door. "All right, I'll do it."

"Hmm?" She shifted to sit more comfortably on his back and buried her face against his short mane. "Do what?"

"I'll take you to my place."

Lovey was silent for a moment, then asked quietly, "You put alcohol in my drink so you could take me to your place?"

Magnate rolled his eyes. "I can assure you that I have no malicious intentions. And, again, the bartender put alcohol in your drink, at the bar you took us to."

He walked down the sidewalk and around the corner. Thankfully, it wasn't a very long distance back to his apartment, though getting her up the stairs without her sliding off his back was a carefully orchestrated climb. Once inside his apartment, he gently set the plastered mare on the couch, then went into his bedroom to retrieve a pillow and a spare blanket.

"Magny?" Lovey called.

Magnate sighed, trying to decide between two pillows. She seemed like the type that preferred softer pillows to firm ones. "What?"

Her voice was softer, almost muffled. "I'm scared."

His brow furrowed. "What?" he repeated, this time less absently, and returned to the main living area. Lovey was sprawled out, one wing draped over the edge of the couch. "Why?"

Lovey's face was buried against her foreleg where he couldn't see it. "What if I can't find your special somepony? What if you and I are alone forever?"

"I..." Magnate's thoughts reeled as he tried to process both questions. He set the pillow and blanket on the coffee table, then sat in the unoccupied space beside her. "What?" was all he could finally come up with to say. He cursed himself under his breath.

Her shoulders were trembling as she mumbled, "I've never been in love. That's why it's so important to me to help other ponies find it, because I know how terrible it feels to be lonely."

Magnate rubbed his temples with both hooves. He knew this situation called for tact, but he didn't have much experience with mares at all. "Can't you just... do that thing that you do? Find your 'love line' or whatever?"

She shook her head. "I've tried, but it doesn't work. I don't know if I just can't see my own love line or if... if... if I don't have one!" She raised up to look at him, her eyes shimmering with tears. "I don't want you to be alone, Magny! You can't just go to the stock market and do a business for the rest of your life!"

"I'm not... what?" His hooves lowered and he stared at her incredulously. "That's not how it works." He shouldn't have considering she was nearly crying, but he laughed. "That's not how it works at all!"

Lovey sniffed. "Huh? It isn't? But you're a business pony! Business ponies do business!"

He tried to smother his laughter against the crook of his foreleg. "You're so... so stupid!" He laughed harder.

Her wings ruffled and she stuck out her tongue at him. "Don't call me stupid!" She grabbed the blanket, threw it around herself, and curled up into a little ball. "If you're just going to laugh at me, then I'm not going to talk to you anymore!"

Magnate sat there for a moment longer until his laughter subsided and he was able to think more clearly. He reached out to place a hoof on what he guessed was her head. He hoped it was her head, anyway; it would be weird to be actually massaging her elbow. The movement of ears twitching underneath the blanket confirmed his hope.

"I'm fine being alone. I have no interest in following my sister's or my parents' wishes. I won't live in the lap of our family's wealth, and I won’t become complacent like my sister, who's never achieved anything on her own merit." He stood up off the couch. "I'm making a life for myself. I intend to live for me, not some old stallion whose name I share." His magic flicked the switch and the lights turned off, leaving the room in pale, moonlit darkness. "Good night, Lovey."

Match!

When Magnate ambled out of his bedroom to offer breakfast to Lovey, the couch was empty, save for a neatly folded blanket resting on top of a pillow. He blinked. The apartment was small enough that after a glance into the kitchen and the bathroom, he confirmed she had indeed left.

A frown tugged at his lips and he wandered into the kitchen, grumbling to himself, "I suppose she's decided to continue her pointless search bright and early already."

To his slight surprise, his Saturday was uneventful. He stayed at the apartment to wait for her to burst in at any moment with what she claimed was a potential candidate. He was alone the whole day, however. It should have been as relaxing as he had planned for it to be, but as the day went on, he grew more and more tense with every glance at the clock.

Sunday was no different, except that he went out to get groceries. He had seen pink out of the corner of his eye in the fruit aisle, but when he jerked his head to the side to look, he saw a distinctly not-Lovey stallion comparing apples. He cursed himself when he felt disappointed and continued his shopping.

When he arrived back at his apartment and opened the door, he half-expected to see her sitting on the couch, just like she had been sitting on his desk when they first met.

However, his couch was bare and the lights were off. The stillness and the dark was strangely more noticeable than usual. It made him feel suddenly lonely, a word that had never been something he associated with coming home, and his eyes started to widen when a thought struck him in Lovey's voice.

Love is having somepony to come home to.

He felt goosebumps when her voice rung in his ears and he shook his head. "Nonsense," he muttered and went into the kitchen to unload the groceries. He paused when he lifted a small container of strawberries out of one of the bags and instead of wondering why he had bought them, he found that he was smiling. "Strawberries can't make you drunk," he said in a voice mocking hers, then chuckled and put the container in the fridge.

Love is having somepony there to enjoy the simple moments with.

He frowned, then swatted a hoof at the air. "Rubbish. I enjoyed that moment all by myself." He rolled his eyes and put away the empty bags. "And now I'm talking to myself, aloud. We're going to stop that. No, I'm going to stop that. Agh!" He slapped his own cheek.

Once he was sure that he was done talking aloud, he went to the couch and flopped onto it. He was getting the relaxing, quiet weekend he wanted, so why was he thinking about her? He frowned, rolled his head to the side, and looked at the door. It remained shut. He scowled and twisted his body to face the back cushions of the couch. The plaid fabric made up of stripes over stripes stared back at him, boring and repetitive.

Love is... wonderful, never having to be alone again.

He stood with a huff and went to the bedroom. He just needed to fall asleep, wake up, and go to work. Work always made him feel at peace, and he'd soon get those foalish words out of his head.

The next morning in the office, however, was no comfort. A clock ticked to sound off each second. Numbers were scrawled along the papers on his desk, but he couldn't seem to focus long enough to make sense of them.

Fifty-eight, fifty-nine... sixty. Another whole minute had passed and he had accomplished nothing.

Shouldn't she be bursting through the door right about then, disregarding his request to leave him alone during work hours, dragging some new, innocent victim into his office? He glanced up at the door.

It remained shut, just like he had always wanted it to be.

He sighed and looked back at his paperwork, then glanced back up at the glass wall just to be sure. There was no sign of pink anywhere at all. At the feeling of disappointment, his heart skipped a beat, then began to pound all the way up to his ears. He was not just looking for her… no, he was desperately looking for her. He wanted to see her.

"Well... ponyfeathers," he muttered, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "I guess she wins."

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

In the cafe across the street from Eminence Tower, Juniper burst through the doors and hurried over to Lovey. The pink pegasus was sitting with her wings drooped nearly to the floor, staring at a barely touched, melting strawberry smoothie.

"I'm so sorry, Lovey!" She dropped into the seat beside her. "I came as soon as I could, but I just got your letter yesterday. I got on the first train available." She hesitated, then asked, "Lovey, have you been here since Saturday?"

"No." Lovey glanced up at her. "They close at night, so I went back to the manor, then came back here. Then I left last night and came back again this morning. I didn't know when you'd show up..."

Juniper sighed. "It's okay, Lovey. Just tell me what happened. All your letter said was that you did something awful."

Lovey sniffed. "I... I... I stayed at his place." She buried her face in her hooves. "And then I ran away! I made two big mistakes in a row!" Slowly, she lifted her head. "Three. Can't forget all those things I said while I was drunk. Oh, four. I got drunk."

Juniper stared at her with an open mix of confusion and amusement. "Lovey..."

"How could I do those things? It's so terribly unprofessional!"

"Lovey." Juniper started to smile.

"What if his special somepony saw us and misunderstood and now she's never going to approach him?!" She stared at Juniper with tears in her eyes. "What if he never wants to talk to me again because I acted like such a fool?"

"Lovey!" Juniper reached out and clamped Lovey's mouth shut. "Stop rambling and listen to me!"

Lovey blinked, the tears vanishing from surprise. She nodded. "Mmf..."

"Okay, now, first question." She retracted her hoof. "Who is his special somepony?"

Lovey stuck out her bottom lip. "I don't know. I haven't been able to find her at all! My heart's all messed up and every time I try to follow it, I just go in circles."

Juniper pondered this a moment, then smiled again. "Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

"I've had a whole lot of horrible first times this week. I nearly ruined Cocoa Brew's love line because I didn't follow it far enough to realize it didn't lead to Magnate." She paused to look over at the barista in question.

A security guard from Eminence Tower was leaning against the counter and the two were gazing in each other's eyes, warmth radiating from them so strongly that it briefly brought a smile to her lips.

"Or maybe I pushed them together because I was pushing her toward the wrong pony and they're actually my two thousandth match." A frown started to muddle her expression. "I don't even know! Nothing about my job makes sense to me anymore, and all I can think about is Magnate."

Juniper startled her with a snort followed by laughter. "Oh, Lovey Dovey!" She clapped both of her hooves around Lovey's. "I think you need to talk to Magnate. He's the only pony who can help you in this situation."

Lovey sniffed. "Really? But you've always been there for me..."

"I don't think so anymore, Lovey." She smiled. "You'll figure it out."

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Lovey paced outside Eminence Tower, becoming more and more worked up the longer she waited. Juniper was certain she had to talk to him, but about what? What could she say to him that would make her life make sense again?

A half hour later, Magnate trotted out the doors and paused when he found her pacing frantically. "I was just hoping to talk to you," he said as he approached her, his tone matter-of-fact. "I found a potential special somepony."

Lovey's eyes widened and she gasped, covering her mouth with both hooves. "What?! That's so wonderful, Magnate! I'm so happy for you!" Her hooves hid the fact that she wasn't smiling. Why did she feel like crying all of a sudden? "Who is she? Or he? Or they?"

He acknowledged her questions with a simple raise of one brow before he shook his head. "She. I have dinner plans tonight, actually. I would appreciate it if you would come along and confirm that she is the right one with... however it is that... that works." He gestured at the whole of her with a circular wave of his hoof.

"Absolutely!" She regained her composure and beamed at him. "It would be awful if you ended up with the wrong pony."

He nodded. "We'll be dining at Per Se. There's a strict dress code, however, so be sure you adhere to it."

"Really? What kind of dress code?"

"Formal, of course."

"Oh, my... Well, I suppose I have some shopping to do!" She held her head high and trotted away. Her vision started to go blurry, but she just smiled wider. "Toodles!" she called over her shoulder.

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

Lovey walked into Per Se and froze. It was completely different from the places she usually preferred, which were always lively and full of friendly faces. This one seemed to cater to the more elite citizens of Manehattan, filled with ponies preoccupied with their quiet conversation.

She wore her mane up, tied in place with a ribbon encrusted in diamonds—or, rather, what looked like diamonds. She certainly didn't make enough bits to afford real diamonds! Her light blue evening gown, however, had been a little pricier than desired, but it was the only one she found that she liked.

A stallion in a black jacket came over and asked her name, then gave an odd, knowing smile at her response. "Right this way, Miss Dovey," he said.

"Lovey is fine," she offered lightly and followed behind him.

She smiled when she saw Magnate sitting at a table in the corner. His mane was slicked back and he wore a nice suit with a startling pink tie. It took her aback to see at first, but she quickly figured that the mare in question must like pink.

"I'm here!" she chirped.

He glanced up at her, then hurried out of his seat to respectfully stand. "You look lovely, Lovey."

"Thank you, Magnate." She giggled and started to take a seat before she noticed there were only two plates set out on the table. She changed directions to sit at one of the seats beside him without a plate, and she smiled. "This place is so very fancy!" she said with a sense of awe in her voice. "It must be expensive."

Magnate gave her an odd look. "It... is." His horn lit up and the plate slid to move in front of her, but she didn't comment. She was much too busy looking around.

The waiter came by and handed them menus. Lovey frowned at Magnate. "Shouldn't we wait a little while longer to order?"

He was already glancing over the options. "Are you hungry?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Then order." He closed his menu and stared at her.

"O-Oh, okay." She blinked a few times as she opened her menu. "If you're sure."

Time slipped by and their entrées were served. Lovey started to worry. Where was this mare? Was she standing Magnate up? She looked over at him and met his gaze, which was filled with a soft warmth, and her heart skipped a beat. She forced a smile. He must really care about that mare to not notice that she wasn't even there.

"So," she started, twiddling her hooves. "when did you say she would arrive?"

He stared at her for a quiet moment, as if waiting, then raised one brow. "She... already did."

She gasped and stood up in her seat. "Really? Where is she?!"

Magnate said nothing while Lovey looked around the restaurant for the pony that matched the warmth he was radiating. His special somepony just had to be nearby. She could feel it, but where was she? Her ear twitched when she heard him sigh.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Magnate muttered under his breath. He reached out and grabbed her face with both hooves, forced her to look at him, and kissed her.

Lovey squirmed against him in surprise for a brief moment, then melted against his lips. When he pulled back and saw her staring at him wide-eyed, he frowned.

"You are possibly the worst love guide I've ever met if you still don't understand," he grumbled.

Suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes and she put her hooves on top of his. Her heart fluttered in that telltale way, as it had so many times before for other ponies. She sniffled, then cooed with a bright smile, "Oh, Magny... It's a perfect match."

Author's Note

And, having found true love, they lived happily ever after!

... or so you’d expect from a silly little romantic comedy.