Who we want to be

by Unoriginal

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1126

In the light of her life, Twilight decides to visit the ponies that mattered to her the most.

Twilight Sparkle has had a most extraordinary life.

She can lay claim to many events that not just anypony could have performed in their life.

But through it all, she never forgot one thing.

Who she really was.

And who she mattered to.

Inspired by this song.

Published 2014-09-08 21:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-08 21:50:03 UTC

Who we want to be

Fame can do things to a pony.

Fame can be many things; a savior, a curse, or even a bit of both.

It can bring a pony money, glory, love and a sense of pride.

Or it can twist you into a pony that you never wanted to be.

It all depends on who you are.

And how strong you are.

***

A cool breeze floated through the early morning air.

The kind of breeze that brought a significant shiver to anypony it happened to come across.

But also the kind that you loved to stand in, be engulfed by, take deep breaths and release all the warmth from your body.

Twilight Sparkle sat on her balcony on this very morning, staring into the deep morning sky, intensely, but never pinpointing anything. It was like there was something there, something she couldn’t see but something that drew her in, hoping that she would see it.

But to no avail.

Slowly turning her head, she focused on the clock, hanging on the wall.

3:42

Again she stared into the night sky.

She squinted, something looked familiar.

The stars, they showed something. Something familiar.

They resembled something, something she had once known.

Was that…a face?

Twilight clamped her eyes together.

It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, it wouldn’t be.

Raising her head up she opened her eyes again.

No, nothing. It was nothing.

Twilight lowered her head. She forced her eyes shut.

It wasn’t real. It would never be again.

A droplet of water exploded against the floor of the balcony, sending smaller particles spraying in all directions.

She only needed one. That was all for tonight.

She turned and began walking into the house.

***

Twilight gave out deep breaths as she walked slowly along the hallways. Her hoof steps echoing against the crystal floors.

Muttering reassuring thoughts to herself, she pushed open the large doorway that now presented itself in front of her.

It swung open, she looked up.

There sat the thrones, all of them, each with a symbol bearing the cutie mark of the once known occupants.

She couldn’t. She just couldn’t stay here tonight, the memories had begun to seep into her mind, and were gradually beginning to eat away at her, causing her to become more and more tearful by the minute.

She ran to the far doors, to the exit, she had to leave.

She had to see them.

She flung open the exit, and sprinted out the door.

***

Twilight walked patiently along the forest edge, giving the occasional glance into the Everfree itself, keeping an eye out for any predators that may have been lurking along the borders.

The sun still hadn’t risen yet, it was still the dark of night, that same cool night air, casually floating around, causing the poor alicorn to shiver every once in a while.

She didn’t care much for that though, it didn’t matter. She just had to see them, she hadn’t seen them since…Since it all started happening. Too much work, too much fame, too many things that kept coming up and protesting against her will to visit them.

But she had this chance now, she had to see them, it’s all that she cared about.

Seeing her route into the forest, she turned and began making her way down it.

***

As she walked, her heart began to ache, not from age or injuries, but from some means that should never have caused it damage. But as the memories began to flood back in, the pain in the chest began to grow.

Eventually she had to stop, sit down.

She closed her eyes, placed one hoof on her chest, took a deep breath…and exhaled, whilst moving her hoof away from her chest in a relaxing manner.

It didn’t cure it, but it helped.

She held back tears, as she continued on, deeper into the forest.

***

Why is it that we stay alive?

Is it the desire to be noticed? To be known to the world? To have made a difference?

What if you succeed, what if you do make a difference? What then?

You have won. So what do you do?

You keep going, you try and make the world an even better place, you try and change it more.

But the more you try, the more you get dragged into it.

One cannot live two lives. For if you live too heavily in one life. You will miss all else in the other.

Why do we continue living?

Because we want to know that we have made a difference.

***

Twilight stopped.

Ahead of her, lay a staircase, leading down into the land below.

She took a deep breath, and began descending down the broken staircase.

Eventually reaching the bottom, she stopped once again.

Only this time she wasn’t the one controlling it.

Right ahead of her lay a shining tree, the most memorable tree she had ever seen, it had saved her life more than once, and still held the power to save her again.

Swallowing, she began ever so slowly walking towards the tree.

As she began to approach it, she heard a faint flapping sound behind her.

She turned, only to find herself facing a small dragon, with green spines and a purple skin, belonging to the closest thing she could call a family in this time.

Spike said nothing; he merely wiped a tear off of Twilight’s face and embraced her in a hug. Twilight squeezed back, crying into his shoulders.

As they pulled apart, Spike simple nodded, and moved backwards towards the staircase, before holding a small heart shaped gem, that now hung from his neck.

Twilight approached the tree and put her hoof on it, not even trying to hold back tears any more.

She looked up at it, before gently saying three small words.

“I’m so sorry”

Twilight eventually lay down exhausted, just as the first rays of sun began seeping into the cave.

As she began to close her eyes, the memories began flooding back in.

All the happy times together, all those times they had been together, laughed together, cried together.

All until the very end.

***

She woke up the following day, laying in her bed.

Staring at the ceiling, she pondered to herself.

Why had she insisted, all this time.

She wouldn’t cry, not again.

She had a job to do, she had a reputation to maintain.

She had her friends to impress.

They may not have been here anymore, not in person.

But they were there, watching.

Waiting.

They knew what she was doing.

She had to be happy.

Because even though they weren’t there.

They were always watching over her.