You Can't Spell Twilight Sparkle Without Twerk

by TheSnarkKnight30

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, Owlowiscious, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1877

What more do you need to know? It's a story about Twilight Sparkle twerking.

After defeating Tirek, everything has been going smoothly for Twilight Sparkle. There's only one little problem. Trixie put a spell on Twilight and now she can't stop twerking. Now she is the butt of everypony's joke. (Hahahaha! Get it? BUTT of every joke!) Even the narrator is making wise cracks about Twilight Sparkle. Why are you even reading this? Wouldn't you rather read something nice like My Little Dashie? This stuff is just messed up.

Published 2014-09-09 04:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-09 04:00:06 UTC

Twilight Sparkle Fans Are Going To Hate Me

Twilight Sparkle was the envy of almost everypony in Equestria. She was an alicorn princess who was extremely clever and loved by many. The most jealous pony of them all was none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie. The traveling showmare’s spotlight was stolen by Twilight many times. Trixie was always talented with her magic, but nowhere near as talented as Twilight. Twilight saved the day countless amount of times. The time that bothered Trixie the most was when the Ursa Minor was easily taken down by Twilight Sparkle. That was the most humiliating day of her life. Even when Trixie tried to get her payback, Twilight had to be the bigger pony and forgive her.

After months of working at a rock farm, Trixie attempted to do show business again in Ponyville. She was hoping that everypony forgot about the things she has done in the past. She stood on her stage as her cape billowed in the wind.

“Behold as The Great and Powerful Trixie turns this ordinary wash cloth into a bouquet of roses!” Trixie said. Her horn flashed and the dirty rag transformed into a dozen roses. Instead of the roar of applause she used to get, she heard a cricket chirp from a distance. Snips and Snails were the only ponies watching her. “This can’t be. The Great and Powerful Trixie told you two nincompoops to put flyers all around Ponyville.” Trixie shouted throwing the roses on the stage.
“We did put up those flyers.” Snips said.

“Twilight Sparkle could do that spell with one hoof tied behind her back.” Snails yawned slouching in his seat.

“Perhaps these spells are a bit outdated. The Great and Powerful Trixie will do something that nopony will ever forget.” Trixie said trying to form a plan in her head. The three unicorns got into a huddle. Trixie flipped through her spell book and skimmed the pages.

“Are you going to fight the Ursa Major again?” Snips asked.

“No, too dangerous.” Trixie said shuddering at the thought of coming in contact with that ferocious beast.

“Maybe you could turn Twilight Sparkle’s hair green.” Snails suggested.

“Turn her hair green? Trixie could do much better than that.” Trixie scoffed grinning maliciously and rubbing her front hooves together. Twilight was supposed to give a speech about the fall of Tirek at the celebration tomorrow. It would be the perfect time to make her make a fool out of herself. Using Snips and Snails as a distraction for the guards, Trixie snuck into the castle. Twilight’s nose was in a book about public speaking. She was so focused on her studying that she didn’t even notice the flicker of Trixie’s horn. Trixie quickly teleported away unnoticed.

Twilight Sparkle lost control of her own body. Her rump shook so hard that she fell right off her stool. The thud woke up Spike. The baby dragon rubbed his sleepy eyes and sat up.

“Twilight, what are you doing?” Spike asked. He couldn’t help but to stare at her bouncing behind. He covered his mouth trying to stifle a laugh.

“I was studying, and then I fell.” Twilight said paying no attention to her rear end. She levitated her flashcards into the air with her magic.

“Yeah, but why are you shaking your butt?” Spike asked scratching his scaly head.

“I’m not shaking my-“Twilight said before turning around. She gasped. She tried to stop herself from twerking, but that just made her hips wiggle faster.

“Wait till all your friends see this.” Spike snorted. He rubbed tears out of his eyes from laughing so hard.

“It’s not funny.” Twilight muttered narrowing her eyes at Spike. He still couldn’t take her seriously.

“Twilight, stop. I’m going to pee myself!” Spike cackled. His sides were sore from laughter.

“Quit goofing around. We need to find a spell that will turn me back to normal by tomorrow.” Twilight said frantically searching through her bookshelves.

“Maybe you just need to rest. You probably have yourself all worked up about this speech tomorrow, and now you have the jitters.” Spike said yawning.

“You don’t get it, do you? If I mess up this speech, everypony will think I’m not taking my role of being a princess seriously.” Twilight said clenching her butt cheeks together to try to stop her caboose from shaking like a maraca. Her efforts had no avail. Her tail thrashes in the air.

"Don't worry, Twilight. Everything will twerk out in the end." Spike said. Her owl swoops down and grabs Twilight’s Encyclopedia of Magic with his sharp talons.

“Good thinking, Bootylicious!” Spike said looking up at his feathered friend.

“Who?” Owlowiscious hooted perching himself on the bookshelf.

“Whoops! I mean Owlowiscious.” Spike stammered. Twilight let out an aggravated sigh as she opened the book. She looked through the entire B section, however she found nothing about butt shaking spells. She wished it wasn’t so late at night. Zecora would have been helpful in this situation.

Twilight had a hard time sleeping that night. Whenever she moved, a spring in her mattress would make a faint creaking noise. It was just loud enough to get her more irritated than she already was.

“Twilight, wake up! You’re going to be late for the celebration!” Spike said nudging her.

“I’m not going.” Twilight said firmly.

“Why?” Spike asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Everypony is just going to laugh at me, but I don’t want to let Princess Celestia down. She’s counting on me to do this speech.” Twilight sighed getting up out of the bed. Then a plan hatched into her brilliant brain.

“Well what are you going to do about your shaking problem?” Spike asked staring at her again.

“If I spread out my wings, they can’t see what’s going on behind me!” Twilight said opening her wings.

“Yeah, they won’t even notice a thing.” Spike lied sheepishly. Twilight’s horn glowed as she teleported out of the library.

Twilight stood anxiously behind the curtain. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Her behind was shaking so hard that she could barely stand up straight. Princess Celestia announced her name. The crowd cheered for her until the curtain rose. She blushed and spread out her wings. “Okay, Twilight. Act natural.” She whispered to herself.

“Citizens of Ponyville,” Twilight stammered gazing into the audience. “Tirek is gone. You no longer have to live in fear. The streets of Ponyville are safe once again. You don’t have to thank me, because without my friends-“ Twilight paused.

“Why is she shaking her a-“ A stallion in the front row interrupted boisterously.

“Assisting me, I would have never made it this far.” Twilight said cutting her speech short and galloping off of the stage. The crowd bombarded her with questions. She decided to make a break for it. She came in like a wrecking ball knocking over a table. The punchbowl spilled all over Rarity’s new gown. She flew towards the double doors eager to escape.

“Where do you think you’re going? You can’t just take off without saying hello to your own sister in law.” Cadence said smiling.

“Oh, right…” Twilight said trying not to sound too suspicious.

“Sushine, Sunshine ladybugs awake clap your hooves and do a little shake. I said a little shake. You could stop now.” Cadence said awkwardly.

“I kind of can’t. That’s the problem.” Twilight said. Her ears drooped down.

“Princess Twilight, have thou gone mad?” Luna asked astonished by Twilight’s outrageous twerking. Princess Celestia trotted behind her sister.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. Is there something troubling you, Twilight?” Celestia asked.

“I’m in a bit of a predicament. A spell was casted on me, and now I can’t stop waving my butt around.” Twilight said lowering her head in shame.

“Tis only a little gag spell. It shall ware off as soon as I raise the moon tonight.” Luna said reassuring her fellow princess.

“It seemed like the crowd was impressed by whatever you were doing up there.” Celestia said.

“What do you mean? I messed up the entire speech.” Twilight said.

“Look around you.” Celestia said. Twilight did as she was told. Everypony around her was imitating her twerking. Twilight hid her face with her hooves.

“I don’t understand. Why are they doing this? Are they making fun of me?” Twilight asked.

“No, Twilight. It doesn’t matter what your backside is doing. It’s on the inside that really matters.” Celestia said.

“Being a princess doesn’t always mean being proper and sophisticated. Sometimes ponies want their princess to have fun and be themselves.” Cadence added.

“They respect you as their leader. They idolize you. They will follow you no matter what you are doing.” Celestia added.

“I didn’t even know there was a gag spell that could do that.” Twilight said.

“Looks like The Great and Powerful Trixie knows something you don’t.” Trixie said getting up onto the stage.

“Thou were the one who was behind this? No pun intended.” Luna said in her booming voice.

"Behold what The Great and Powerful Trixie has done to your pathetic princess's posterior.” Trixie said pointing at Twilight's butt.

"You put a crack in it?" Derpy asked. Trixie smacked her forehead so hard that her witch hat nearly fell off her head.

"No! It was always like that. The Great and Powerful Trixie has made Twilight make a total fool out of herself." Trixie said to the grey Pegasus in the back of the crowd.

“There must be some form of punishment for this type of behavior.” Cadence said.

“Why don’t we have Twilight pick a suitable consequence?” Celestia suggested.

“I forgave you once. I’m not going to do that anymore. I hereby sentence you to community service. Not only will you have to work on a rockfarm, you must also volunteer at the zoo to clean all the Ursa Major exhibits for two months.” Twilight said.

“No! Not that! Anything but that!” Trixie begged. Twilight’s horn flashed. A mustache appeared on Trixie’s muzzle. Celestia, being the troll that she was, put a twerking spell on Trixie too.

“Guards, take her away.” Luna commanded. The guards carried the twerking unicorn with facial hair out of the castle, despite her protesting. The other princesses twerked with Twilight so she wouldn’t feel left out. When the spell wore off they acted like their normal selves again.

Trixie spent the six months at the zoo cleaning up filthy cages. Her orange uniform clashed with her pale blue coat. Worst of all, The Ursa Major would growl at her every time she tried to feed it. She hated her volunteer work. It made working at a rock farm feel like paradise. Despite all of this, she did learn a valuable lesson; Don’t mess with alicorns.

Author's Note

I'm sorry to everyone who wasted five minutes of their day reading a story that doesn't make a bit of sense. Please don't take this too seriously. This is just some stupid idea that popped into my head. It was a story I almost scrapped. I decided to put it up for the heck of it. It would probably make a mediocre trollfic.