Solitude is Sorcery

Harm Hide slowly rose from his bed, his head pounding.  Each move he made resulted in a squish or a wet plop, and he wiggled and he fought back the urge to vomit.  His eyes barely registered light as he lifted a sticky leg from the pit of vomit that was his bed.  Suddenly, his movements became frantic and he squired, throwing vomit on his walls and the floor, and he dry-heaved downwards as he looked at the mess he had managed to make in his sleep.  He managed to squeak at himself as he rolled out of his hot sewage and onto the cold stone floor.  He fell with a yelp this time, lading on his side and bashing his head as he did so.

Struggling, slipping, and only just able to get his bearings, Hide looked around his room to make sure nothing was amiss.  Everything was there, his suits of armor, bows and arrows, swords of all kinds, and other metal weapons.  Some of them were rusted, some were in pristine condition, and some were caked in blood.  His prized possession was the mace of passion, a large spiked club made of gold.  It was encrusted with a single red gem.  They were, however, all present and accounted for.  At least no pony had seen fit to rob him during the night.

He growled deep when his head racked him with pain, and he looked over at the bed in the corner of the stone room.  The room was simply a large square with a bed and dresser, and plenty of decorations on the walls. At one end was a door to the laundry area, another end held the door to his kitchen, and the final door led outside. The half of his bed he slept on was covered in vomit and urine.  How could so much fluid possibly fit inside him?  He decided he didn't care as he showered and drank enough water to replace everything he lost.  Hide was a pitch gray earth pony with the usual short gray mane and tail, except for the scars he was covered in.  The left half of his face was a collection of mismatched cuts and pretty much disfigured, but the right side was completely clean.  The rest of him looked like he had been put through a war machine, long even slashes in sets of three all across his back, his flanks, and his belly.  He had just started to gather up his sheets when the yellow and red unicorn with white mane burst though his door and started babbling.  Hide's head hurt.

"Passion! I - by the waters of Babylon, whatever happened to your bed?"

"Yea, your way to young to be asking me that, Seclus," grumbled Hide.  Seclus recoiled from the implication.

"Hedonist! ...I, uh, have news from Prince Seraphic,"  Seclus seemed to look around and lowered his voice.

"He says that the time has come."

Hide dropped the sheets and looked at Seclus with a pale expression.  "What?"

Seclus smiled.  "The stars are in alignment.  It's time to be tested, so choke up your element and meet me in the temple."

Seclus dashed out of the room just as quickly as he entered.  Hide wasted no time grabbing the golden mace with a single red gem on the head off the wall and strapping it to his back.  He hustled out of the room, only once glancing back in bewilderment at his bed.  Once out of his door, and emerged at the bottom of a dirt hole in the ground.  He climbed out of the steep pit and into Ponyville.  It was bright and sunny, as he expected, and his head screamed it's resilience at him.  Somehow, he made it through town and into the Temple of Piety.  It was a large stone tower with only a window at the very top, though once Hide entered it looked more like some kind of catacomb.  A spiral case build into the wall led up to the floors above, each chamber built right on top of another.  The first chamber that he entered into was a meeting hall of sorts, with chairs crudely set up in a circle around the center of the room.  He was greeted by a pink, bored looking mare with blue mane, and her nose in a newspaper.

"Yes my little pony, how can I help you?"

Hide cleared his throat.

She bounced up staight, her newspaper falling in papers around her, she stood up straight and looked down at the ground.

"Passion, sir!  I wasn't expecting -"

"I am quite aware of what you were expecting."

"What, uh, what can I do for..."

He smiled at her.  She looked up at him.

"What do you want?"  She asked carefully.

"You haven't heard?  Clear the enchanting chamber, for what I've come to attend to, this time anyway, is business."

...

Six stallions gathered around a large macabre table at the top of the Temple of Piety.  It was a circular room filled with strange objects and weapons, tapestries on the walls, and candles all around.  Each stallion had a glowing, golden weapon their back with a different colored gem attached to it.  Harm Hide twitched as his head pounded again.

"My fellow elements! ...Thank you for coming,"  Said Seclus.  He stood apart from the others, in the opposite side of the table from the other five.

Hide looked at a strange blue orb on the enchanting table.  He wanted to eat it.

"Today is our biggest mission yet.  We have to touch this here orb,"  Seclus pointed his nose at a large blue object that looked like an ordinary marble, "And figure out what it did.  Um...if you have questions, well, so do I.  All the Prince said was-"

"See you on the other side!"  Said Harm Hide as he dashed forward, seized the orb in his hooves, and vanished in a flash of blue light.

...

There was the sensation like he was rolling down a hill.  Colors and shapes formed and exploded before his eyes that he couldn't move.  His legs struggled, and for their effort were rewarded with stinging pain.  He heard roaring and metal clashing, stomping and thunder.  He did notice, however, that his head didn't hurt anymore.

Then it was over.  He opened his eyes to see he was standing in Ponyville's park, just beyond a small hill.  He looked around, confused.  He didn't see anypony anywhere, but there were some differences.  The whole place smelled like perfume and flowers.  Some of the stone buildings had been replaced like hay shacks, but by and large the place was the same.  He took  a step towards where the temple should be, and was immediately accosted by something blurry and pink.

"Oh my gosh that was amazing how did you do that can you teach me to do that are you new here im Pinkie..."

Hide turned away and marched in the direction of his own home.  The temple was not gonna happen.

The pink mare with crazy, fluffy mane had finally stopped talking and was looking at him with adoration in her eyes.

Slowly, he turned to face her.  "Are you talking to me?"  He asked, his eyes darting left and right.

"Yup!"

He stared at her.  "Well, don't."  He continued his walk.  The pink mare bounced alongside him.  He bit his lip.  Turning away a mare was not exactly his elemental strength.

"Whats wrong?  Are you grumpy?  Do you need a party!?"  She gasped.  "Your new so you get a party!  How about-"

He turned on her and said "Silence."

She closed her mouth with an audible "plop!"  When he remembered the state he had left his house in, he realized that he may have need of a mares's help after all.  "Come with me." He said without explanation. When she opened her mouth, he barked after her "Silently!"

He walked towards his house with a bouncing pink mare in tow, neither of them saying anything.  They passed a few onlookers, whose mouths all fell open at the sight of him and, more likely, the mace of passion.  He ignored them.

They rounded a corner on those weak looking houses of hay, and instead of muddy pit, he saw a large pink wooden building with a sign that read "Sugercube Corner."  Hide came to a stop as his jaw hit the floor, and he felt the pink mare crash into his rump.

"Wha - where - what happened to my house?!"

The pink mare gasped again.  "You live at Sugarcube Corner too?!"

"Well, I solved the test.  The blue orb did this... but well, that doesn't everything else that's different around here."

"Oh, a guessing game!  I love guessing games!  It is a..."

Hide ignored the babbling mare as he tried to figure out his next move.  He realized that this also relives him of cleaning up his own mess, which he was vastly grateful.

"Who is in charge around here?"  He asked with calm he didn't feel.

"Mayor Mare!  and uh, Princess Twilight too I guess."

Hide's eyes went wide.  Mares could now hold office?  When had this happened?  How had he not heard about it?  And certainly, if there was a mare granted Princess-hood, he would know.  What was going on?

"Princess?  There's a mare alicorn running around"

"Four!  Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, and Princess Twilight!"

Hide burst out laughing.

"I know, I love to laugh too!"

Hide placed a hoof across her shoulder, and snickered once more.  "Okay, I see whats going on here.  I owe you a drink for that one!"

"Okie Dokie Lokie!  You can call me Pinkie Pie!"