A Suicidal Reminiscence

by BloodyBubblegum

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Tragedy
Length: 1002

Is it better to live a lie, or die a truth.

Is it better to live a lie, or die a truth.

A single, tear-stained note meets your gaze. Where's your third crusader?

Published 2014-09-09 20:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-09 20:30:04 UTC

So Long and Goodbye, My Sweet.

Author's Note

Best read with: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D0mypn54iE

So Long and Goodbye, My Sweet.

Ponyville was home to various things. An alicorn princess. Weekly visits from the solar sister herself. Even deep-fried doughnuts. But, what struck you silly was everyone's diversity. Tall. Short. Slow. Quick-witted. You liked that spice of life. Because, frankly, you grew-up eating, living, breathing and breeding apples. Change was a welcome friend. That was why, in earnest liberty, you were at the beach. A fellow unicorn friend pokes your nose. It's strange, but, you actually don't mind. Sweetie's hoof is supple. Squishy. Like squeaking marshmallows.

"Look, Applebloom. I'm Scootaloo-!" Your companion squeaked, suddenly toppling you and gazing deeply into your eyes.

You burst into laughter, agreeing entirely with Sweetiebelle's jest. Isn't it obvious, you ponder mindlessly. Of course that brash, old Scootaloo's finally growing-up. But, why, you two never figured. The waves are fine and sandy fold messes your gilded fur. Where else should two fillies be in summer's heat. Not a clubhouse, or a tree-based abode, that's for sure. Last time you tried that, well, things were burnt and Applejack was seriously fucking angry. Another round of cider and you two bumble about, babbling joyous pre-teen chatter. Why. Because life is good. The last crusade, you found Sweetie's mark.

Several witnesses fling hot judgement, seething with 'ew' emotions and nonsensical clings to society-imposed notions. Why, you chuckle inside, does everypony hate it when a mare tops her friend. Was there something wrong with readying yourself for the eventual mounting later. Of course not; tribadism, toys or reproduction and all. Some Equestrians needed to open their eyes. Others were hopeless. And that little idiocy reminded you of...

Oh, there it was.

A quiet, trot-bobbed reminder draws your smile. Jingling every which way is a heart-shaped necklace you've been saving for one, unexpected occasion. Sweetie won it at the Manehatten Music Meister Madness Royale. You can't help but revisit her fresh, sparkling destiny seal.

Ah, yes. One, gilded microphone topped with wings of ice. She wears it proud. Though, in your absent-minded thinking, something seems amiss. It takes hours before trotting says 'I wonder where that pegasus is'. So, you inspect the clubhouse. Inside, you find her. A shriek passes every fiber of your innocent, little figure. Why. Because someone's hanging from a noose...

"A-applebloom...! Applebloom, come on-! we have to call the cops...!" Sweetie screeches, only a blur in rippling background.

Time slows and everything numbs.

Why... did you read the note.

There’s a sardonic, fleeting truth in me. Each day, I’m greeted by loved ones, swamped with underlying guilt and yet sweet inside all the same. Pensive and none-the-wiser despite how many years spent in this place. The days grow longer as my soul soars straight through the salient, malleable whites in this world’s sky. Equestria. You are beautiful by the trillions upon trillions of stars and snowflakes that live and die in your vibrant realm. And they, as you, are blessed with perfection.

And that is why I must leave.

We’ve grown so close, yet my hooves sully your jovial expanse without shame or restraint. With such ease, I proclaim my love for you more substantial than those of lovers’ past; in any time and place within your walls of virgin bliss. It hurts less to imagine my life gone than to think of your children tainted. A hearth of all that is wonderful and beyond anything within the nearest millennium… that is what you are.

But what am I?

I am a lie. I am sugar-coated secrecy uttered in the form of rotten nothings from lips in the dark. And these are your lips that I imitate. The lips of your people and all things that let your lands prosper. We failed in our last invasion. And I’m happy that we did. But there’s a vice dragging me into depths inescapable. I can still see her face after my magic hit. My sisters held me in high praise. But I was a murderer and a coward. Not a hunter. Not entitled to the blood shed that day.

The filly was so full of promise. She had this windswept, passionate cerise mane that rose toward the heavens. And this… coat of such brilliant, sun-kissed gamboge ruffled at the chest. Though, it was her eyes that made me regret. That curious dip in her brow… it rose with a single question.

Why?

Because I am a monster. I am ripper, slasher, teeth in the night. I am the anger in mare’s hearts. My kind and I myself. We lead ponies into temptation and deliver them into evil. Before, I was scared of shaming the name of my people. When I jumped, the door was open wide enough to let the magic missile land. She died because I was cowardice incarnate with a legacy of power pushed onto me. And by extension, I too understand the hatred all ponykind has for my legion. Our sole purpose is to feed and feed until there is nothing left. We are parasites and don’t have the ability to prosper in peace or harmony.

Only… harm can come from us.

Applebloom. Sweetiebelle.

Sometimes, I wonder how she felt in your company. Did she really understand what she had. Was I ever your only best friend?

I ask because I'm shaking. I don't want to go.

The nights we spent crusading against the entirety of Equestria were the best times of my life. When you would cheer and raise your hooves high in jovial vigor, I found myself so complete. And every time you asked me something intimate, I could only mask my sorrow with ambiguity. I whispered behind my smile. You answered me without a glance… So, here it is, on my fence: the heinous part to my new friends.

I love you, Applebloom. I tried to keep my eyes closed

It’s just as well for who I never was.

And now, you’re the only ones who know.

- Love, Scootaloo.