Diamond Tiara licked her dry, cracked lips. Sweat poured down her forehead as she glared at her opponent. A low growl escaped as she saw her opponent smirk at her. She took another look at her cards. An Ace, King, Queen, Jack, and a ten. A Royal Flush.
With this, I’m pretty sure I can win, she thought with a scowl. This whole game she would make it clear what kind of hoof she had. If it was a good hoof she would smile as bright as the sun itself. If it was bad then she would scowl as if her tiara was dirty. This whole time she made sure her opponent could easily read her.
But now that the greatest deal of all was here, it was time to change all that. Her opponent would take the bait, she could tell just by that condescending smirk.
“Three of a kind!” her opponent called out as she threw her hoof down, revealing three kings, a ten, and a five. “Looks like all your books belong to-”
“Royal Flush!” Diamond Tiara cackled as she threw her hoof down, causing everypony around them to gasp in shock.
“No way!” her opponent gasped, a look of terror upon her face.
“Yes way,” Diamond Tiara said as she took not only her special edition Daring Do collection, but a piece of paper as well.
“Dammit, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash called out from the crowd surrounding them. “You knew how much I wanted those books!”
Diamond Tiara watched with a sadistic smile as a sobbing Rainbow Dash quickly took off, her tears leaving a beautiful rainbow behind. Nature truly was a beautiful thing.
“H-hey, Diamond Tiara?”
“Hmm?” Diamond Tiara turned her attention to a trembling Twilight.
“It’s about that deed you just won. I don’t suppose I could… buy it back?” Twilight asked with a shaky smile.
“Oh, Twilight,” Diamond Tiara lightly chuckled, that slowly turned into a snarl. “That’s ‘Princess’ Tiara to you!” she screamed as she stood and swiped away Twilight’s crown, putting it atop her own head. “And Ponyville is my new Kingdom!” she cackled. Finally, Diamond Tiara had achieved her life-long goal of taking over Ponyville. And it was all thanks to one stupid, book obsessed Princess.
Diamond Tiara sat upon her throne with a great, golden scepter in hoof. She looked around the room at all of her servants, keeping an eye out for one in particular. It wasn’t long before she found the one she wanted. With a cold smile she banged her scepter against the floor.
“Apple Bloom!” she bellowed.
“Gah!” she heard Apple Bloom cry. She watched in amusement as Apple Bloom quickly made her way towards her, slipping on the marble floor and crashing into a nearby table. Finally Apple Bloom stood before her, several bruises littering her body as she saluted Diamond Tiara. “Y-yes, yer Highness?!”
Diamond Tiara smirked as she held out one of her hind hoofs. “Kiss it,” she demanded.
Apple Bloom looked at Diamond Tiara’s hoof, crinkling her nose in disgust. With a sigh she leaned in, planting a delicate kiss on Diamond Tiara’s hoof. After the deed was done she slowly leaned away, awkwardly smiling at Diamond Tiara.
“...I meant my scepter,” Diamond Tiara said with a smirk, causing Apple Bloom to frown. “But I suppose that works too! You may go and prepare my dinner,” Diamond Tiara said with a wave of her hoof. She watched Apple Bloom walking away from her, briefly entertaining the idea of having Cheerilee spank her with some twizzlers, but thought better of it. No doubt that filthy apple farmer would enjoy it.
“Your Highness!” Rainbow Dash called out as she landed in front of Diamond Tiara, a grim look upon her face. “Twilight’s beginning her coup d’ etat! She’s plotting to burn down Sweet Apple Acres to decrease morale!”
Diamond Tiara sighed as she ran a hoof down her face. “Initiate ‘Operation: Stop Twilight’, now!” Diamond Tiara commanded, earning a salute from Rainbow Dash.
“Your Highness!” she shouted, before spreading her wings and taking off out the window.
Diamond Tiara smiled as she watched the captain of the Guards fly away. It was so easy to buy one’s loyalty. All you had to do was give them something they desperately wanted for free, and they would think you were the best of friends. It was easy enough to find out what Rainbow Dash wanted, what with the way she cried at not getting her special edition Daring Do books.
She had won the hearts of the other elements in a similar fashion. Fluttershy was easy to win over, she just gave her a cute puppy calendar.
As for Applejack, all Diamond had to do was pay for Granny Smith’s hip replacement. Applejack was so grateful she quickly agreed to let Apple Bloom work for her, something Diamond Tiara enjoyed immensely.
Rarity was a bit trickier to win over. She already had almost everything she ever wanted. It was then, Diamond knew, that she had to go through Sweetie Belle in order to win over Rarity’s loyalty.
“Oooh, Diamond!” As if on cue, Sweetie Belle marched into the throne room, quickly striding over to Diamond Tiara with a cute swagger. “I know you must be busy, darling, but I was hoping we could go out tonight?”
Diamond Tiara smiled as she gently pulled Sweetie Belle towards her, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Anything for you, my sweet!” Rarity would never go against her sister’s lover. It would tear their family apart.
“Oh stop, you!” Sweetie Belle giggled, a light blush upon her cheeks. She nuzzled Diamond Tiara’s cheek, sighing in content. “I never thought I could be so happy!” Sweetie said. Diamond couldn’t stop herself from chuckling at the hopeless romantic.
“Neither can I.” It was just too easy.
Eventually Sweetie back away with a content smile. “I have to go meet up with my sister, but I’ll see you later, right?”
“Of course!” Diamond Tiara said with a smile. That’s right. Go tell your sister how great of a marefriend I am. The less ponies getting in my way the better she thought happily as she waved Sweetie Belle goodbye.
After Sweetie Belle had left, one of Diamond Tiara’s guards walked up to her and leaned towards her ear.
“Your Majesty, It is now Noon. Shall I send for the Jester?” she asked. Diamond Tiara smiled for the umpteenth time that day.
“I would very much appreciate that, guardsmare.”
The guardsmare bowed lowly, before trotting off. A few minutes passed by, when finally a large cannon burst into the room, shooting off confetti everywhere.
“Who’s ready to party?!” Pinkie Pie, whose face was painted to resemble a peacock, screamed as she barrelled in after the cannon, with a small pegasus on her back. The pegasus in question, whose face was also painted to resemble the extinct dodo bird, grumbled as she glared at her Princess.
“I wish I was, but I can’t...fly,” Scootaloo grunted, causing Diamond Tiara to laugh hysterically.
“O~hohoho, that’s hilarious!” Diamond Tiara squee’d, hoof raised to barely conceal her mouth.
“It didn’t even make any sense,” Scootaloo mumbled, though was largely ignored.
“Hey, Scootaloo!” Pinkie called out as she nudged her companion. “What has wings but cannot fly?!”
“I dodo~n’t know, Pinkie Pie. What?” Scootaloo growled. Pinkie Pie smiled as she then pointed a hoof at Scootaloo.
“You!”
“O~hohohoho!” Diamond Tiara laughed once again, barely able to keep her mouth hidden behind her hoof.
“...Hilarious,” Scootaloo grumbled, much to Pinkie’s dismay.
Pinkie stared sadly at Diamond Tiara, her lips quivering, tears threatening to spill. Diamond Tiara looked over in annoyance, before finally rolling of her eyes with a huff.
“Fine,” she mumbled, barely above a whisper. The Scootaloo jokes were getting old anyways.
With a large, dazzling smile, Pinkie turned towards her companion and gave her shoulder a tap.
“Hey, buckaroo! What do you get when a brother and sister has a kid together?”
“Uh, I don’t know?” Scootaloo replied, staring back at Pinkie in confusion.
“You get Apple Bloom!”
“...That’s disturbing,” Scootaloo said with a gag.
“Incest jokes are lame,” Diamond Tiara said with a yawn. “You may leave, my jester. I no longer wish to hear of your jokes.”
“Aw, that’s too bad,” Pinkie said as she grabbed her party cannon. “And we were about to get to the part where I tell a story about how you decide to adopt Scootaloo and raise her as your own…” Pinkie sighed, earning curious looks from both Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo.
“That sounds…” Diamond Tiara trailed off, failing to come up with the proper word.
“Stupid?” Scootaloo offered, earning a nod from Diamond Tiara.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Aww, I thought it sounded funny,” Pinkie grumbled. “Oh well! Maybe next time!” Pinkie rebounded with a smile, picking Scootaloo up and shoving her into her party cannon and quickly did the same for herself. “Bye, Princess!” Pinkie shouted as she pulled the string, launching her and Scootaloo out the window, followed by a trail of screams.
“...Still bored,” Diamond Tiara sighed. She did have that date with Sweetie Belle later, but that wasn’t for another few hours. She continued to think on it, when an idea suddenly hit her. “That’s it! I’ll just order a pizza!” she squee’d in delight. After all, pizza makes everything better.
“Ha! And you thought you could overthrow Princess Tiara!” Rainbow Dash scoffed as she lazily watched Twilight hanging from a net. “And don’t even think about teleporting! I double knotted the net myself, ensuring magic won’t work!”
“...Grr,” Twilight grunted, a sock shoved in her mouth. She would have spit it out, but she always had a secret sock fetish. They were just so… sweaty. Her plan to burn down Sweet Apple Acres had ended in complete failure, but thankfully she still had a back up plan. She just had to wait for the perfect opportunity.
“Oh, by the way, Twilight!” Rainbow said as she got up and flew by the net. “Princess Tiara ordered me to shove another sweaty sock into the net every five minutes, so…” she trailed off, reaching into a dirty sack of laundry. “Have fun with that!” she laughed as she shoved a purple sock right into Twilight’s face, causing Twilight to moan in ecstasy.
Maybe I’ll... hold off on my plan for a few more hours! Wouldn’t want this bag of sweaty socks to go to waste, after all! she thought to herself as she took a long whiff of the sock. If she really concentrated she could probably figure out who they belonged to by the scent alone! Besides, I’m sure Ponyville will be fine for a few hours… or days…
“Five minutes!” Rainbow shouted as she shoved another sock into Twilight’s face. “AJ wore this one when apple bucking, so it’s really sweaty!”
“...Or a week,” Twilight moaned, a trail of blood beginning to leak from her nose. This was absolutely the best. Punishment. Ever.
“Oh, Diamond Tiara, this pizza is amazing!” Sweetie gushed, melted cheese hanging from her mouth.
“Hm, it’s alright, I guess,” Diamond Tiara said as she put her slice down, leaning towards Sweetie Belle. “Though I would love to see what yours tastes like,” Diamond whispered, her lips brushing against Sweetie Belle’s.
“O~hohoho, behave, Miss Tiara,” Sweetie growled playfully.
Diamond Tiara then began licking Sweetie’s cheese covered lips, causing Sweetie to moan, or giggle, Diamond wasn’t so sure. Their passionate cheese kiss was sadly interrupted as the throne room doors were destroyed, causing both fillies to jump in shock.
“W-what the heck was that?!” Sweetie gasped as somepony leaped into the room.
“Diamond Tiara! I have come for my revenge!” a filly with glowing violet eyes screeched, earning a dumbfounded look from Diamond Tiara.
“W-who are you again?” she asked, earning a pout from the intruder.
“It’s me, DT! Your best friend in the whole wide world!” she claimed, causing Diamond Tiara to gasp in shock.
“Alula?! Is that you?! Oh, sweet Celestia, what happened to your wings?” Diamond Tiara asked in shock. “And your mane? It’s all gray like you aged fifty years. And your coat? Ugh, so bland,” Diamond Tiara mumbled, her nose crinkled up.
“...Note to self: kill Alula,” the filly grumbled, before making her way to Diamond Tiara. “No, Diamond! It’s me, Silver Spoon!”
“...Oh yeah. Silver Spoon…” Diamond Tiara mumbled, a hoof scratching her chin in contemplation. “Yeah, Silver Spoon. I remember her, I think.”
“Psst, Diamond,” Sweetie mumbled, catching Diamond’s attention. “She’s the one with the glasses.”
“Ooh, I remember now!” Diamond chuckled. “The nerd I used to help increase my grades! How are ya, Spoony?” Diamond Tiara asked, earning a threatening growl from Silver Spoon.
“Is that all I am to you?! Somepony to further your success and to be thrown away at the earliest convenience?!”
“...Yes?” Diamond Tiara asked, earning a shocked gasp from Sweetie Belle. Diamond quickly turned towards her lover and began stroking her ears. “Don’t worry, Sweetie. You’re adorable, so I’ll never give you up.” Until you become a liability, of course.
“Oh, okay!” Sweetie said with a smile. “Had me worried for a sec there, lover.”
“Now, what am I going to do with y-” Diamond paused, seeing tears spilling from her old best friend’s eyes. Her lips quivered as snot began dripping from her nose. She almost looked more pathetic than Scootaloo. Almost.
“I-I can’t believe you would just...abandon me like this,” Silver said as she slowly turned away. “If that’s the way you want it, fine. Have fun with your marefriend!” Silver cried, and began making her way out the throne room, her tears making the ground she walked on wet.
It was at that moment, something awoken inside Diamond Tiara. Something many ponies once thought was long gone. Something that many said didn’t even knew existed. It was a feeling, a longing.
“Silver, wait!” Diamond called out, capturing the attention of her old friend.
“Y-yes?” Silver asked as she turned back to her friend, hope reignited within her heart. Diamond Tiara smiled at her marefriend, who simply nodded her consent.
“You have my blessing, love,” Sweetie whispered, earning a thankful smile from Diamond. Diamond Tiara turned back to Silver, her hooves opened wide, and said:
“Wanna join my harem?”
And that was how what would become the largest Royal Harem was born.
Somewhere, far off, a young pegasus was laying on the ground, her body battered and broken. She grunted as she pulled herself up, looking at Diamond Tiara’s far off castle with pure hate. A low growl emanated from her lips, slowly turning into a snarl, with only one name escaping her lips.
“Diamond...Tiara,” she whispered. She picked her bloody body off of the ground, willing her body to continue moving forward.
“Scoo~taloo!”
Scootaloo paused, a look of pure horror upon her face. She then willed her body to crawl faster, the voice becoming louder each second.
“Scoo~taloo~!”
“N-no! Not like...this,” she grunted, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She then felt a pair of hooves wrap around her tiny body.
“Scootaloo~!” Pinkie screamed with a laugh. “Where do you think you’re going, silly?! We gotta practice our next act for Princess Tiara!” Pinkie said with a smile.
“No~~~!!!” Scootaloo cried as she tried to claw her way out of Pinkie’s grasp, to no avail. As she felt herself being carried away, she took one last glare at the castle of Diamond Tiara, with only one thought going through her mind.
Someday. Maybe not soon, but someday, I will be a part of that harem.
The End
