Chapters Author's Note
Just a little something I cooked up for the fun of it. Had major writer's block for FoEMM. It is cured now and I'm halfway done with the next chapter but here's something a little more on the light side. Enjoy!
Chapter 1 (edited)
You know the old saying, ’Your past will always come back to haunt you.’ Well it does at least my case. I should introduce myself before we go any further. My name is Spike the Dragon and I’m, well a dragon. I know terribly creative but what can you do, I was named by a six year old, albeit a genius prodigy of a six year old but still a six year old. Anyway you’re probably wondering how my past came to get me so here it is. It all started on a perfectly normal day…
The alarm started blaring as I came into the land of the conscious. I silenced the offending sound with a claw and after weighing the options of staying in bed I sat up with a yawn and a stretch. I thanked Celestia for my dark red blackout curtains that blocked the sunlight. Ironic I know. I got out of bed, hummed contently as I felt the soft white carpet under my claws.
There had been a time when I walked upright on two stubby legs. I was once short and squat but several growth spurts ended that. Now I was tall, long, slender and walked on all four legs comfortably. Not to mention a handsome devil of a dragon if I’m to be honest. I pushed the door open and grimaced as I looked into the mirror. My deep purple scales were in disarray and my light green spines were crooked at best. Okay a handsome devil in serious need of vanity maintenance.
After a rousing shower, a scale straightening session, a good fang scrubbing, and vanity moment, I was ready to begin the day. I smirked at my reflection,’ Looking good Spike, looking real good.’ Satisfied I left the bathroom and made for the kitchen. Our apartment was a lovely two bedroom affair with a spacious living room and beautiful kitchen complete with a bar and plenty of cabinet space.
Our apartment was decorated with tasteful dark earthy tones. Old paintings lined the walls, most of a nautical nature, and bookshelves were in abundance, all filled with books of every genre. I always found it comforting; after all I did spend most of my life surrounded by them. Hmm you’d think I’d get sick of them…
I pulled the double door frig open and started taking out the fixings for breakfast. With eggs, hay bacon, and an assortment of vegetables in claw I went over to the stove and turned the dial. With a flick of my spaded tail the radio turned on and Sapphire Shores' sweet serenade filled the air. I prepared breakfast, swaying and singing along to the music. Just as I was about to totally kill the last note of ‘At the Carriage Wash’ the sound of two sets of hooves caught my attention.
I flicked the radio off as Pipsqueak, my lanky earth pony roommate, walked a blue furred pegasus mare to the door. They were whispering to each other in hushed tones. Let’s see: dress crumpled slightly, makeup long since smeared off, and mane in shambles. Ah another Trot of Shame in the making. As for Pip most of his off-white fur was covered by a black silk robe, his soft brown mane only slightly ruffled.
Still can’t figure out how he always has a mare in his bed night after night. You’d think Manehatten mares knew a buck whore when they saw one. Maybe it’s the Trottingham accent? I grinned mischievously before waving to the couple,” Good morning. Would you both like some breakfast?”
Out of the corner of his eye Pip glared at me with the spot covered eye. The mare was startled by my appearance,” Oh umm hello." She looked up at Pip," I didn’t know you had a roommate sweetie.” Sweetie? Wow mare you are in for a letdown.
Pip restrained a frown but smiled instead,” Oh? I was sure I had. Well Star this is Spike. Spike, Star.”
“Charmed,” I purred, currently enjoying the glare my roomie was shooting me.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” she said, clearly taken by surprise. I gave my large leathery wings a flap. Her eyes followed one wing like a cat does string. Heh works every time. Pegasi have a thing for large wings you know; a boon which I am not ashamed to admit is eagerly taken advantage off from time to time.
Pip coughed into a hoof,” Yes well I believe you said you needed to leave early.” He started corralling her to the front door.
“Well I wouldn’t mind a small bite to-“Pip cut her off with a kiss. He pulled away with a wink and promptly shut the door behind him.
I smirked as he came back into the kitchen,” Get your bit's worth?”
“You’re assuming I paid for her company?” he asked with his muzzle in the air. He pulled the orange juice out of the frig, poured a glass and put it back.
“How else are you gonna get a mare in your bed?” I replied with a shrug. I promptly smirked at the venom laced glare of Pip the Squeak. I pulled two plates out of the overhead cabinet and served breakfast. One set of eggs with sautéed onions and tomatoes for the playcolt and hay bacon and eggs dusted with topaz for moi. We ate in silence mainly due to my cooking being magnifique.
Pip finished his eggs in record time and sighed as he sat back,” You know you’re gonna make somepony a wonderful wife.”
“Oh hardy har har,” I grumbled,” Not my fault you can’t go near a stove without it bursting into flame.”
“That was one time,” he groaned,” And I paid for all the damages.”
“You burned the salad,” I deadpanned,” And you’re not even supposed to cook salad.”
Pip huffed and crossed his forelegs over his chest,” Well excuse me.”
I swear I’m destined to live with those who are horribly impaired in the culinary arts. I still have nightmares about the first time Twilight tried her hoof at cooking. You’d think a degree in Alchemy and Chemistry would help but nope. Heck she was banned from Canterlot Palace’s kitchens for life. The head chef even swore to dehorn the poor alicorn the next time she even saw Twilight near the kitchens. I finished my own breakfast and set the plates in the sink.
“So what’s on your agenda today?” Pip asked me as I washed the plates.
“Well I have some errands to run then I have lunch with a friend. After that I’m gonna probably pay a visit to The Silk Note. You?” I dried off the plates and set them back in the cabinet.
“Gotta see my agent,” Pip laid his head down on the counter with a sigh,” Then I have no idea. Might stop by The Silk Note too.”
Poor guy hasn’t been on stage for the last two months. Wasn’t really a money issue, hell he was better off than me and I have a bestselling novel. “Well good luck-“I started but the phone rang, cutting me off. I picked it up and put the receiver to my ear fins.
“Spike of Squeak and Spike speaking,” I smirked at Pip’s sardonic glare. He hated that nickname.
“Hey Spike this is Prim,” my eyes widened. My editor rarely called.
“What’s up Prim?”
“I have news. You sitting down?”
“Is everything okay with my book?!” I asked, panicked only slightly. I felt my fins go rigid.
“No the book’s still in the top ten on the bestseller’s list, might even hit number one by next week.” Oh good, almost had a heart attack. I relaxed. “But I got a call from somepony in Canterlot.”I waited with baited breathe as the unicorn on the other end paused for dramatic effect. Prim had a damn annoying habit of doing that. “They want to turn you’re book into a play. They say the director’s a real up and comer too.”
I blinked and then blinked again. “I’ll be right back,” I said calmly as I set the receiver down on the counter.
Pip gave me a worried look,” Mate you alright?”
“YES!!!” I shouted,” Yes, yes, yes!” Pip flew back ready to defend himself, more than a little startled by my outburst.
“Celestia you scared the crap out of me,” Pip muttered,” Quiet down before you wake the whole bloody bottom floor.” Now how was that possible when we had the penthouse…oh sarcasm…dick.
“Mynovel’sgonnabeaplay,” I bubbled, ignoring his words.
“Run that by me one more time chum,” Pip said.
“My novel, you know that thing with pages that I wrote, is going to be a play, the thing where ponies act out said novel, again thing with pages, on stage,” I smiled innocently while Pip just glared.
“You’re a plot you know that,” he sighed then smiled gently,” Congrats though. You’ve earned it.”
“Yes and thank you,” I bubbled. Oh crap Prim. I picked the receiver back up,” Hello? Prim you still there?”
“Oh thank Celestia I thought you keeled over. Yes I’m still here. Anyway the director wants to meet you tomorrow. You free for lunch then?”
“Of course.” I said and pulled my notepad over,” Where?”
“The Le Rouge, two o’clock,” Wow snazzy place,” She’s paying, insisted on it actually,” I wrote down the place and time. “Anyway congrats Spike. Alright I have a meeting so bye.”
“Bye.” I put the phone down and looked at the writing like it was a foreign tongue. Wow my novel’s becoming a play. I chuckled and sat back. I wonder if the director knows who I really am. I doubted it considering I used a pen name. Heh she’s gonna be expecting a pony named Ember Quill, not a dragon named Spike. Again yes so original. I’m gonna need to write Twilight about that.
“Well I’ve a meeting to get ready for,” Pip said as he slid off the bar stool,” Tonight mate we celebrate. And drinks are on me.”
“Then prepare for getting your account drained my good colt,” I said as I fluttered to my room. I pulled my black warm blazer out and pulled it on, my wings slipping easily through the slits in back. I grabbed my shoulder bag off the counter and with a wave to the retreating Pip the Squeak I few out the door.
I skipped to the elevator and punched the bottom floor button.
The reception area was abuzz with activity as other patrons to the Silverplatter Apartments made their ways to the door, each getting their days started as well. Many wore thick coats too due to the weather turning cold. I loved winter myself, the snow, the promise of a fire and hot chocolate. Then there was Hearth’s Warming Eve, my all-time favorite holiday. Every year Pip and I went back to Ponyville, me to visit my sister and lifelong friends and him to visit his parents’ grave. It was a dark time for the actor but every year I made sure he wasn’t without good company.
“Mr. the Dragon,” I looked at the smartly dressed grey earth stallion behind the receptionist counter. Arrivederci was the owner of the Brisk Apartment complex and a good friend. His slate grey mane was slicked back like always. “You have mail this morning sir.” He pushed a stack of envelopes toward me.
I shuffled through them. Bill, bill, ooooh my subscription to Quill’s Monthly, and a letter from Twilight. Not a bad haul. I laced the letters in my bag. “Thank you.”
“You are quite welcome,” he said. Then there was a clatter as a lanky unicorn colt in a staff uniform dropped a set of luggage on the floor. Arrivederci rounded on the colt like he'd insulted his mother and stomped toward the poor colt, who didn’t have the sense to cower as the earth pony yelled in Bitalian. I decided it best to make myself scarce as the colt got the reaming of his life.
Outside the air was crisp, cold and smelled of the promise of snow. Manehatten was beautiful any time of the year but in winter it was truly a sight to behold. Buildings and lampposts held early decorations and a few trees were even in the last stages of decoration. Most of the taxi carriages sported decoration as well and the drivers were in a good mood most of the time. I smiled up at the overcast sky before started down the cold pavement. Nothing could spoil my week now. That much I was sure of.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Author's Note
YES!!!! Finally I post for this story. Won't lie the lazy stick beat my butt for this but I endured faithful readers.
Chapter 3 (edited)
That night The Silk Note was jumping. We had small line forming outside the door, our bouncers checking I.D.s for the well-dressed ponies coming inside. The bar and tables were filling quickly with patrons and ponies danced in front of the stage as the band played some upbeat jazz. Normally I would be at the bar helping out Shot and Rocket with serving drinks but Sweetie had threatened to skin my alive if she caught me working tonight. It was my party after all. Pip, Sweetie, Damian, and I sat at a small table near the back enjoying some drinks.
“So who is this director?” Damian asked as he took a sip from his martini. The griffin was dark brown with rusty red feathers.
“No clue,” I said with a shrug,” Prim never gave me a name.”
“Well congrats my friend,” he said with a chuckle,” Maybe you can recommend a certain actor.” He nudged Pip, who growled before draining his own drink.
“Rub in my lack of employment,” he growled,” Just keep rubbing it in.”
“It’s not all bad,” Sweetie said with a kind smile. Pip perked up instantly. “I can call you a bum now and mean it literally.” The mare beamed as Pip deflated with a groan.
“Must you be so cruel to this poor soul,” he whined.
I chuckled as the pair shot back and forth at each other. Out of all the mares that Pip had set his sights on, Sweetie was the only one to call him on his bull. Now they acted like brother and sister but lately I’d noticed the two getting closer. Or I was hoping for rain during a drought, I figured Sweetie could shape him up.
“Ah Ms. Belle.”
We all looked up as a trim earth stallion in a smart grey suit walk up. He looked in his early fifties and aging well. Sweetie instantly scowled at seeing him. Pip was the frist to speak up.
“Can we help you sir?” he said as he stood up. For all the crap I give the lanky stallion he has a nose for intercepting a potential murder. ”I’m Pipsqueak one of the owners of this fine club.”
“Oh just stopping by and saying hello,” the older buck said with a smile,” One of the owners you say.”
“Yes,” I said speaking up,” Pip, Ms. Belle, and I own this club. Have for quite some time.”
“I’ve never heard of three owners before,” the earth pony said,” Where are my manners? I’m Big Wig. I own some of the clubs down the street.” He bumped hooves with Pip in greeting and shook my claw. I'd figured this was Big Wig. If I’m to be honest he seemed a decent sort, friendly even.
“When I opened up I needed investors,” Sweetie said, speaking up,” These two helped me out in a big way.”
“Well that is interesting,” he laughed,” Well I’m sure Ms. Belle has told you of my offer to buy the club.”
“We’ve been told,” I said,” My question is why?”
“It’s a delightful little club,” he looked up at the stage,” I absolutely love it and the music is so charming as well.”
“I’m glad you like the club,” Pip said,” But unfortunately we are not in the mood to sell.”
“A shame,” he said with an air of disappointment,” I am willing to double my previous offer.” Why was this guy so adamant?
I saw Sweetie bristle beside me and if I knew her, and I do, she was about to mouth off to him. She may have looks like her sister but believe me Sweetie had a capacity to be hot blooded. I poked her side with a wing. “I’m sorry but money isn’t the issue. We just aren’t interested. If you want you can go to the bar and order what you like, tell them Spike sent you.”
“Very well,” the earth pony turned to leave,” Good night Mr….?”
“the Dragon,” I finished.
“Mr. the Dragon,” he nodded at Sweetie and Pip,” Ms. Belle, Mr. Pip.”
“Ohhh,” Sweetie fumed,” I should tell Shot to poison that guy’s drink.” She grabbed Pip’s beer and downed the bottle.
“Hey,” Pip whined but a quick look from the very angry unicorn shut him up.
“So that’s Big Wig huh?” Damian said as he took a sip from his drink.
“It would seem so,” I said.
“I’ve heard of him,” Pip said suddenly. He looked pensive. “He was in Investor’s Journal. Apparently he holds a monopoly on the alcohol trade in Fillydelphia. He’s got more money than the crown. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“Why?” I asked,” It’s not like he can force us to sell.”
“I don’t know,” Pip said as he sat back,” Like I said he’s big in alcohol production.”
“We’ve got prime stock from the Apple Family,” Sweetie snorted,” And trust me everyone loves Apple Whiskey. Hell it’s approved by a dragon.” I will admit I’ve weakness for the drink. And it’s the only beverage to even come close to giving me a buzz and that’s saying something. Sweetie continued,” The only trouble he’s giving me is taking my singers away.” She got a fierce look in her eye suddenly and stood up. Without a word she went up to the stage.
Pip and I shared a look. We both knew what was going happen next. The white unicorn stepped onto stage as the song faded. One of the band members handed her a microphone and she whispered something to him.
“That was quite the beat the band was giving us,” she said into the microphone,” Let’s give ‘em a round of applause!” Everyone in the bar whopped and hollered as they stomped the ground. “This is quite the crowd tonight almost makes me a bit shy to be up here.” She flashed a cocky smirk,” Almost. Alright folks I’ve got the itching to belt it out so…” she turned to the band,” Hit it!”
The band started a slow heavy beat.
Ooh, ooh, ooh
A guy what takes his time, I’ll go for any time I’m a fast movin’ gal who likes them slow Got no use for fancy driving, wanna to see a guy arriving in low I’d be satisfied, electrified to know a guy what takes his time
A hurry-up affair, I always give the air Wouldn’t give any rushing gent a smile I would go for any single who would condescend to linger awhile What a lullaby would be supplied to have a guy who takes his time, ooh
A guy what takes his time, I’d go for any time A hasty job really spoils a master’s touch I don’t like a big commotion, I’m a demon for slow motion or such Why should I deny that I would die to know a guy who takes his time
There isn’t any fun in getting something done If you’re rushed when you have to make the grade I can spot an amateur, appreciate a connoisseur in trade Who would qualify, no alibi, to be the guy who takes his time
Ooh, ooh…
I clapped as the rest of the room stomped out an applause for The Silk Note's premier diva. Celestia that mare could belt it out. Sweetie bowed before throwing a smug grin at the bar, directed at Big Wig no doubt. Beside me Pip was quiet and fiddling with his empty bottle.
"You know," Damien said in a nonchalant tone," I'm sure she'd give you the time of day if you cut the bull."
"What bull?" Pip perked up," This is one hundred percent me." He clopped a hoof against his chest. Denial, so much denial. I shook my head as Pip got up," You guys want anything." I raised my still full cosmo.
"I'll have another Sunrise Surprise," Damien said," Oh and tell Shot not to skimp on the cherries this time!"
Pip waved a hoof and trotted to the bar.
"Five bits says he ends up hungover as hell," I said as I took a sip from my drink.
"You would win that bet," the griffin across from me chuckled. "What's their story anyway?" He inclined his head toward a singing Sweetie Belle. Ah yes he was new to the gossip of old. Very well tis old news.
"Pip had a thing for her growing up but when he found out Button Mash liked her too he backed off," I looked at the bar and saw Pip chatting up a some mare," He's a lot of things but above all else he's loyal to a fault."
"Wait. You mean he grew up with Sweetie's ex?"
I raised an eyebrow at that," I thought you knew." I mean come on, you work for a vindictive ex-wife here.
"The boss doesn't talk about it much," he shrugged," The only thing I know is Button's a sleaze."
Oh you have no idea. "Uh huh." I looked back at the bar and caught Pip staring at the stage again, tonight was going to be a long one for him.
Scales polished.
Check.
Spines straightened and perfectly aligned.
Check.
Teeth white, and pearly.
Check.
Overall a handsome devil.
"Double check," I said as I left the bathroom. I pulled my burgundy blazer on that had been carefully placed atop my bed and made for the door. As I started out I heard the creak of a door and a groan of a dying animal. I looked back to see Pip trudging toward the frig and appearing to be in a lot and I do mean a lot of pain.
"Hi Pip!" I shouted. I know I'm a plot-hole and I just don't care.
He winced and glared at me with the intensity of a desert sun. "You are a jerk you now that."
"I try," I beamed. He rolled his eyes and pulled out a small jug of Hangover Juice. Interesting concoction actually, Twilight came up with it after her twenty first birthday when she discovered the wonders of alcohol. I remember that day fondly, though she did threaten to send me to the moon, twice. The only thing that saved me I think was the fact that she couldn't even manage a levitation spell to save her life at that point. Man did my mouth get me in some close calls.
"Good luck with your hangover!" I yelled as I slammed the door shut. The resulting slew of profanities were my just reward. Heh that juice was a cure-all sure but had a two minute delay before kicking in.
Tormenting my hung-over roommate.
Triple check.
The trip to the restaurant I would be meeting Prim at was uneventful. I entered the fancy establishment and whistled as I beheld the intricate décor. In the lobby a sparkling fountain spouted crystal clear water from a beautifully sculpted statue of polished marble. The host, a smartly dressed earth pony in an expensive looking suit, smiled warmly as I walked over.
"A reservation for Prim Prose."
"Ah yes," he beamed," You're the third party then." I nodded. "Very good follow me." He led me through a throng of tables at which ponies sat talking softly to each other. Some were lovers but most appeared to be business meetings. A few eyes trailed me as I walked by but I didn't mind the attention. After all its not every day you see a handsome specimen of draconian masculinity.
I spotted Prim Prose, a mousy pegasus mare with purple fur and a wavy cerulean mane. She grinned at seeing me and waved me over. The dark pink mare across from her had her back turned to me. She had a lighter pink mane in a short bob, a white stripe through the side. I had seen that coloration before. Slowly the vision in pink turned to look at me. Her sky blue eyes met my bright green. The world froze as we stared at each other.
For what felt an eternity it was finally shattered as Diamond Tiara, the slayer of my heart, spoke," Spike is that you?"
"Do you two know each other?" Prim asked, confused by my lack of function.
"You could say that?" the pink seductress chuckled nervously.
You're damn right you could!!!
My mouth opened and closed unable to form coherent words. Then finally the moment of truth came, my defining moment, as I managed to overcome my moment as a mute and speak but a single word.
"Fuck."
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. I turned back to my cider after the chill of a lifetime had run its marathon down my spine. Shot pulled more bottles out and started dusting them off while PIp looked deeply into his own drink. I think he was trying to find the answers to life in that martini. Suddenly Shot spoke up.
"I'm guessing they have a bad history?"
"Yep," I said as I took a soothing sip. "When they were fillies she tortured her and her friends. From what they used to tell me she was the school bully."
"Damn straight," Pip cut in with a snort," Her and the Silver Tool. They were vicious to anyone that crossed their path. Then high school came around and the pair found themselves dethroned by a filly by the name of Quid-pro Quo." He chuckled in a sinister, moustache-twirling kind of way. "Diamond was betrayed by her quote on quote 'bestie' and wound up at the bottom of the food chain." He laughed out loud," Ah karma you righteous bitch!"
I remembered that day. I never went to school mind you, I was home-schooled, and when I say home-schooled I mean I had knowledge beat into my with dusty, ancient tomes by a compulsive psycho of a sister. Love her to death but lets be honest here. The day I met Diamond was a strange day I'll admit. But it sparked some of the happiest years of my life.
"Alright that's all of them," I said quite proud of myself. The new castle library was all organized, clean, and over-all quite pleasing to the eye of a certain OCD mare. I had to admit I was skeptical at first when we had moved into this gaudy crystal mass of a castle but it was kind growing on me after all these years. My tiny wings fluttered as I surveyed my work. My chest swelled with pride at a job well done. Just then Twilight walked in a book held at her side.
"Good job Spike," she said with a nod of approval," It looks great."
"Thanks," I beamed, then cocked an eyebrow," Next time though don't go all hardcore student mode. The place looked like Discord had a field day in here."
"It did not!" she said, indignantly. It always irked her when I compared her to the draconequus. "Besides it was organized chaos. Not," she shuddered," chaos, chaos."
"UH huh," I said with a customary roll of the eyes. So much denial. "Sure."
"Oh hush," she grumbled as she set her book back in its right place. "Well nothing really needs to be done right now so I guess your free the rest of the day." She pulled a few tomes out and set them at a nearby table with her magic.
I pumped a fist. "Yes!" I made for the entrance way then skidded to a halt. "Oh and keep the maids out of here. Last time they 'cleaned' in here most of the books were out of order." The servants were a nice addition to the castle, meant I didn't have to clean the entire castle, and let me tell you its a lot bigger on the inside. But when it comes to library maintenance they were base amateurs at best.
"Will do," Twilight said with a giggle. "Don't be back too late."
"No promises," I said with a devil-may-care grin and ran out of there before she could protest.
Ponyville was alive with activity, as per the usual. It was your typical sunny day. Though for this town it meant anything but. A disaster was always around the corner, trust me. Thankfully today there were no stampedes, eldritch demons, or ageless villains to deal with. I stolled down the path toward Sugercube Corner, the town's most successful, an only, bakery. It was built to resemble a gingerbread house, even smelled like it too. Don't taste it though...bad idea.
Inside Pinkie was running from table to table taking orders. The pink mare wore a frilly apron and had several pens stuffed into her bright pink, puffy mane. The place was swamped with customers. Ever since Twilight's castle made its appearance a couple years back Ponyville had became a tourist hotspot, thanks to that Sugercube Corner and most of the other shops, found business to be booming. The once tiny bakery was now a full blown café.
"Heya Spike!" Pinkie appeared beside me, nearly giving a heart attack in the process, and pulled me into a hug. I don't know how she accomplishes nearly breaking my diamond hard back every time she hugs me but she sure as heck comes close. "Just take your usual place and I'll be back with your sapphire cupcake and hot cocoa." Just as she appeared she was gone. I struggled between breathing and calming my dangerously fast heart rate. I swear that mare was gonna kill me one of these days.
As per usual I took my place in the back away from prying eyes. Most of the locals never so much as bat an eye at me anymore but tourists were another story. They didn't fear me you know but well I've come to loathe the click of a camera. Speaking of sounds, my era-fins twitched as I heard a strange noise. It sounded like crying.
I turned to look at the table behind me and lo and behold there was a pink filly sitting there crying quietly into her hooves. Her pink and white swirled mane was in a mess, and her coat was ruffled in more than a few places. ON her head sat a small tiara with small twinkling diamonds in it, they looked delicious too. I stared at her for a few minutes wondering how the heck this got past the party pony herself.
She looked up at me, as if sensing my presence. "What are you looking at scaly?!" she snapped, or tried to. Really it came out as more of a whimper. Her eyes were an almost enchanting shade of blue, this effect was only amplified by her tears. The attitude shattered it though. Pity levels have reached zero captain. How do we respond? Quick snide on full, go!
"I'm not the one crying here," I deadpanned. This resulted in renewed sobs, and some incoherent blubbering. Good going Spike! Shut it conscious she started it! Well fix it you jerk! After quite the reaming from my conscious I spoke up.
"Hey," I said softly," Sorry that wasn't nice. What's your name?" Gotta start somewhere.
"What do you care?" she snapped, again. And again came out a whimper. Okay this filly was starting to irk me.
Deep breathes dragon. "Because," I said with some effort," I've been taught when a lady is crying you comfort them." Besides if Twilight, or Rarity for that matter, ever found out I didn't respond in a gentle-dragon way to this I'd be turned into a purse. Ending up a fashion accessory doesn't sound like a fun way to go, not to mention humiliating. Imagine the story you'd have to give in the afterlife. No thank you.
"Y-you think I'm a Lady?" she asked, the water works temporarily stopping.
Wait I said lady didn't I? My heart nearly stopped in my chest at the look she gave me. Goddess she was pretty. "Umm," I fumbled for words," Yeah I guess."
"You guess?" she said, in a rather forceful tone.
"Alright Spike here you go!" Pinkie appeared out of thin air, again giving me a near heart attack, to which the mare in pink a table away started snickering at despite her tears. Pinkie set my cupcake down and a mug of hot cocoa. Ah yes that is the stuff. I glanced back at the filly. "Hey Pinkie think you can get her something too. Put it on my bill."
"Okey-dokey-lo-" the pink mare stopped in her tracks when she noticed the filly's sullen look. With a gasp she jumped into the air a solid six feet. "Omygoshyou'recryingandIdid'tevennoticethisisacheesecakeemergencyberightback!" With that she zoomed off. A second later she appeared with a whole cheesecake and a large glass of chocolate milk. She settled in next to the bewildered filly. "Tell Auntie Pinkie aaaalll about it."
"Hey," one of the nearby customers shouted," Can I get some service here?"
"Hold yer humans," she shouted back, in a Boltimare accent no less. "Can't ya see I'm turnin' a frown upside down here?"
"Go ahead Pinkie," I said," I got this."
"I leave it in your claws then," she nodded sagely before twirling on a hoof. "So what ya want ya mook!?"
Now mind this all happened in the span of forty seconds leaving the filly feeling a resounding whiplash from what her facial expression told me. "I grew up in this town and I'm still not used to that."
"Pinkie has that effect on ponies," I said with a chuckle. I transported my precious cargo to the filly's table. I took a bite out of my cupcake and asked," So why so glum chum?"
"None of your business," she grumbled before scooping some cheesecake up. Wow this girl was rude. At least the water works had stopped.
"How about your name then," I almost growled out. Stay civil Spike.
"Fine," she said," Diamond Tiara." Wait this is that rich brat Applebloom and Scootaloo always go on about? At least we're getting somewhere.
"I'm-"
"Spike," she said cutting me off," I know. You're Princess Twilight's assistant. We've met, briefly a few years back."
Wait when-oh that Twilight time incident. She remembered that? Wow. "You actually remember me from then?" I asked, feeling so smart with that question.
"Kinda hard to forget a dragon," she shrugged and scooped up more cheesecake. Man she likes cheesecake.
"True," I replied. "So why were you crying?"
"Why do-"
I cut her off, it was my turn after all. "And before you ask, yes I do because I'm nice like that."
"You're going to keep bugging me until I tell you aren't you?"
I nodded and took another bite out of the heavenly confectionary in my claws.
She sighed and rubbed away some tears that had accumulated at the corners of her eyes. "I was betrayed by someone I thought was my friend alright."
"That sucks," I said. Smooth guy. "I mean well ah heck with it that just sucks."
"And the pony she ditched me for is a complete tool!" And the rant began. "I mean who helped her get that dye out of her hair when she accidently turned it brown, or lied for her when she accidently broke that vase. That thing cost me three month's allowance for Celestia's sake. And who stuck by her when her dad wanted to take her to that stupid comic book convention?"
"Hey what's wrong with comic books?" I asked, quite the offended dragon.
"Umm they're lame," she said, in a matter-of-factly tone. Blasphemy!
"They are not," I said with a frown.
"Are so!"
"Are not!"
"Are so!"
"That's it!" I slammed down a bag of bits, picked out enough to pay the tab and tip Pinkie. Then I grabbed Diamond by the hoof and started leading her out.
"H-hey what are you doing!?" she gasped.
"Showing you the wonders of comics," I said, dead serious. I led her to the comic book store. A small black building that stood near Quills and Sofas. Inside was nerdvana, my safe haven, my happy place. Stacks of comic books sat on shelves, carefully arranged by date released and genre. Figurines, statuettes, and action figures of all kinds sat in pristine condition atop counters and shelves lined with manga and sat in the back. Diamond just stared ahead.
"Yes take in the awesome," I beamed.
"Still lame," she shot back after a moment.
"Tis a challenge you put down is it," I said and pulled her to the comics. I riffled through a few before picking out a Power Ponies Issue #1.
"Read it and weep," I beamed. Amazingly she humored me before setting back.
"Lame," she stuck her nose up in the air. She did the same to several other comics. Each shot down like the many stallions that tried to ask Rarity out. Okay then lets try a new approach.
"Stay right here." I went for the manga, grabbed the right one and ran back. I set it before her," Eat your words madam."
She rolled her eyes, cracked it open, and started reading. A few pages in she giggled. She froze and looked at me from over the book. I'll be one hundred percent honest, the scene was adorable. Though I wasn't ashamed to say I was wearing my 'I win' grin. She shut the book, set it down, and looked away. "This proves nothing."
"Yeah sure," I said before singing," Denial~"
"Shut up."
"Got you to laugh though," I said," You've got a nice laugh."
"R-really?" Her cheeks went a shade pinker.
Crap. Didn't even think before talking. I scratched the back of my head. "Well yeah." Change the subject quick!
"Hey Spike."
I looked over and Button Mash was coming out from the back, a small box perched on his back. Saved by the video game addict. The dark brown colt was all lanky limbs, wore a ridiculous propeller hat on his head. Heck a stiff wind would topple him over. He was more Pipsqueak's friend than mine but we were fellow nerds, so a bond did form. Even if he was a drama queen.
"What's up Mash?" I asked as I walked over and traded a fist-bump with him.
"Not much," he said and set the box down," Oh hey a new Shatter Company came in today." He held up the glorious comic and I snatched it up.
"Aw sweet!"
That's when Button noticed Diamond, who was again nose deep in the book I'd given her. He nudged me in the side. "Am I hallucinating or is that Diamond Tiara," he said.
"Um yeah why?" I asked.
"You sure," he said then began to panic," Oh crap this is an alternate reality! I knew it!" He grabbed me by the shoulders. "Quick I need to get back to my reality! We need a waffle iron, a golf club and an microwave, stat. Wait that's what they want me to get. You didn't see me!" He ran for the back. Like I said, drama queen. This was a common occurrence. If there was one pony that came close to beating Pinkie in the weird department it was that colt.
"What's that spaz's problem?" Diamond asked.
"Hey be nice," I chided," But you pose an interesting question. I've opted for no real grip on reality, but he insists his mother had him checked." That's when I noticed how close to me she was. Why was I suddenly so nervous? She was clutching the book to her chest. "H-hey want me to buy that for you?"
"Huh?"
"The book," I said," Want me to buy it for you?"
"Why?"
"Cause you seem to like it." Really its not magical theory. "You know what, I'm buying it anyway." I grabbed the book.
"Hey I didn't say I wanted it!" She took off after me as I made for the counter. Heavy Stack came out of the back a few seconds later, after I rang the bell. Diamond was trying to get the book from me but standing on my hind legs put me twice at about twice her height.
"My assistant had another episode I see," the tan unicorn said with a chuckle.
"That is correct."
"Give it back," the pick filly cried as she jumped up trying in vain to get the book.
"Hey Stack I want to buy this for her," I said quickly, explaining the situation. The unicorn smiled knowingly.
"Just discovering the wonders of manga I see."
I nodded. He grabbed the book from my claw with his magic and rang it up. He gave me the price and I paid it. Diamond had given up by this point, realizing the futility in her attempts to stop me. She had the cutest little pout going too.
"That never happened," she said, still pouting.
We were walking through the market district, each of us carrying a small plastic bag with our cargo. No idea where we were going but it was nice just to walk around sometimes, just pony watching. The crowd had thinned out since the lunch rush had just ended. Now it was just a few tourists here and there surveying the many wares.
"Sure it didn't," I said," Don't worry your secret's safe with me."
We carried on in comfortable silence. Our walk took us into the park, and we settled upon a bench to rest our feet, well my feet, her hooves. It was peaceful here. The trees rustled from the gentle, warm breeze. A few foals were playing not far from us, filling the air with their laughter as they played tag. I noticed a few of the leaves in the trees were just starting to change colors. Fall wasn't far off. I liked the calm of this place, so different from the chaos of everyday life.
"S-so," she said, breaking the silence," Where did you live before coming here?"
"Oh, Canterlot." She perked up at that. I held up a claw. "Trust me the city is great to visit but living in it another story. Going out every day is a risk on your life. Well not really but it is crowded, and loud. We lived in the castle most of the time though."
A pair of pink hooves grabbed my shoulders and my world encompassed a pair of bright blue eyes. "You lived in the castle. As is Princess Celestia's Castle?"
I pulled back and said, carefully," Yeah."
"OMG!" She gasped," Tell me everything." A massive grin broke out across her petite muzzle and she was staring at me intently.
"It was alright I guess. It's a maze though, and the guards are next to useless in giving you directions. They're like breathing statues really. The Royal Cook's nuts though. I went in there once and he started throwing knives at me and shouting in Nieghponese. Never went in there again." I sighed. "It was lonely though when Twilight was at school. Even then all she wanted to do when she was there, was study."
"Things were like that for me before I met Silver," Diamond said, understand sparking in her eyes. "All Daddy would do was stay in his office and work. Whenever I wanted to play it was always 'Later dear,' or 'I have this portfolio to arrange honey.' Even then he was rarely at home, just Chives and I." A small smile graced her muzzle. "When Silver's family moved here Daddy wanted to welcome them to Ponyville, mainly because they were going to be business partners. Silver and I hit it off from day one."
"Sorry," I said," I didn't mean to bring it up."
She shrugged, "I'll be alright. It still hurts yeah but..." She looked up at me. "Thank you." There was a sincerity there that just hit me.
"N-no problem," I said, suddenly feeling really warm.
Suddenly an off-white blur nearly knocked me out of my seat trying to get under the bench.
"Hide me mate!"
I looked at the cowering pile of earth pony under my seat, irked. "What are you doing?"
"I'm looking for bloody gold," Pip groaned," I'm hiding from her." He pointed to the white filly coming our way. She was svelte, had a curly red mane, and blinding smile. She was pretty, and exuded the aura of a crazy-mare.
"Hey have you two-" she started as she approached us. She recognized Diamond and frowned. "Diamond."
"Twist," she responded coldly.
"How's that friend of-" she stopped and giggled cruelly. "Oh that's right you have no friends."
"Hey back off!" I snapped. Wow that came out angrier than I meant. She turned a glare at me, and I just stared right back. I've seen the incarnation of hatred girl, you do not scare me.
"Whatever," she scoffed, breaking eye contact. "Listen, either of you seen Pip."
"No," I said," Now shoo fly you're bothering me."
With a huff she walked away. Diamond slumped in her seat, her face was devoid of emotion, like she was trying to hide them.
"Thanks mate," Pip said as he crawled out from under the bench.
"Why was she chasing you in the first place?" I turned my attention to the colt.
"Cause she wants me to take her out," Pip squeezed in between us much to my chagrin. "You know on a date."
"I knew what you meant," I said in a flat tone. I mean come on I discovered fillies long before most of the colts in this town ever did.
Pip leaned over and whispered," So why you hanging out with the dragon lady?"
"Pip," I said with a scowl beginning to form. "I wouldn't hit that mad-mare for her mouth because I don't hit fillies. You on the other claw are not. As well I consider you my best friend and I've learned a skirmish between friends is healthy." I raised up a set of razor sharp claws. "And five bits says claws trump hooves." He got the message real quick. "Besides lay off she's had a rough day."
"Whatever you say mate." He glanced at Diamond. I saw the wheels in that head of his try to turn.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing," Pip said before giving me a meaning nod as if to say 'good luck' then took off. Probably to find another hiding spot.
"You're friends with him?"
"Yep," I said with a smirk," Every one needs a lackey right?"
She giggled at that and said," Sure. But why him. You're alright but he's well Pip."
"True on both accounts," I said, basking in the complement. "But me and Pip have been friends for a couple of years. He was my first real friend among the colts anyway. Actually it was after that Twilight Time incident that we started hanging out. He's an alright guy."
"So do you hang out with the Crusaders too?" She asked, wincing at the term.
"Yeah. Though my life expectancy has decreased significantly since I started hanging out with those three. I swear they're are better at creating chaos than Discord himself." A thought popped in my head. "So why were you so mean to them in grade-school?"
"They told you about that?"
"Your reputation precedes you," I said with a chuckle. A scared look flashed across her face. "Don't worry I won't hold any grudges. Besides I've seen worst. Heck I've seen straight up villains before." I patted her shoulder. "Besides they can get annoying. And goddess do they grate on the nerves but they're not all bad. They're kind of sweet once you get to know them."
"I really don't know why I was so mean to them," she said with a shrug. "I mean I just- I don't know. I just couldn't help myself. I would look at them and I just got so angry. I needed to make them miserable. Prove I was better than them." She looked down, tears starting to form in her eyes. "No, I know why I was mean to them. They had everything I didn't. They had families that had time for them, made time for them. Then they had each other. And no matter what I did they still stuck together. I think that's why I was so mad. It only got worse when those three got their Cutie Marks. Even I know their going to go far in life." She glanced back at the tiara on her flank. It matched the one on her head perfectly. "I got this the day I got my tiara. What does that even mean anyway? Big whoop I can wear a piece of fancy jewelry." She pulled her tiara off her head and scowled at it. "Is that my purpose in life? To parade this thing around!?"
"Twilight once told me that Cutie Marks don't dictate what you do with your life. They show the world what you are at your core. Who you really are." I looked at her and I saw what anyone else would see. I saw someone who was hurting but too proud to really admit it. But above all that I saw an inner beauty that just needed to be nurtured. "Diamonds are one of the hardest gems in the world, and one of the prettiest when cared for the right way. And the tiara is a symbol of authority, of accomplishment for those that earn it. I think the day you got that you realized you were destined for greatness. You just need to find that greatness. Your future is what you make it." I gently picked the piece of jewelry from between her hooves and placed it on her head. "Don't resign yourself to thinking your Cutie Mark means nothing because it does. The hardest part is not getting it. It's realizing what it really means."
What she did next surprised, delighted , and scared the stuffing out of me all at once. She hugged me. My mind shut down as I felt her soft fur. It smelled a little like strawberries I noticed. We stayed like that for a while. People stared at us as they passed. Not that I cared my brain was fried, pleasantly so. She pulled away and looked up at me. "Thank you," she whispered," No one's ever been this nice to me before."
"Any time," I mumbled. I was lucky to know what my name was at this point. "Thanks for opening up to me." My wits were beginning to come back online and I figured since she confided in me. "Hey want to know a secret? Remember how that really big dragon that attacked Ponyville a couple years back?" She nodded. "This guy." I pointed a claw at myself.
She gasped. "That was you?"
"Yep." I chuckled. "Still trying to figure out how no one's made the connection yet. I mean there aren't that many dragons out there with purple scales and green fins." I smoothed out said fins. "Or quite so handsome." She giggled at that. That giggle was starting to become addicting to listen to.
"So can you do that at will or something?" she asked.
"Nope. Only when I start hoarding. I have to be careful or it'll slip. Besides I never want to go back to that. I nearly hurt the people I cared about. If it wasn't for Rarity I never would have come out of it." It still hurt to think about it. "I was like some mindless beast."
"I'm sorry." Diamond placed a hoof over my claw.
"Its alright. Not really your fault. Just messed up instincts. Besides its pretty easy to keep under control. At first I thought it meant I was going to stay a shrimp for ever. Then we realized my diet needed fixing. Can't grow on gems alone."
"Then what else do you eat?"
"Promise not to freak out?" She nodded. "Alright, meat. Any kind will do. Not pony meat mind you. Just chicken every now and then or fish."
"Ok." Wait. 'Ok.' That's it? No freak out or anything?
"What?" she asked, reading my shocked expression. "You honestly thought that would creep me out?"
"Umm yeah?" I expected you to at least pale at the thought.
She barked out a laugh. " Please. You've never been to Canieghda before have you. Daddy has a couple of stores in the griffin towns up there. I went with him once and even had to taste some of their cuisine. It was okay. They really like jerky though."
"You've had meat before?" The only pony I knew that had, and liked it, was Rainbow Dash. Mare was crazy about sushi. "That is more than a little surprising."
"Meh." She shrugged. "I'm never against trying new things." I looked up at the sky and realized it was almost sundown.
"Hey do you want to come over?" I asked. "I'm making eggplant lasagna. Trust me it is the bomb."
"I'd like that," she said. We jumped off the bench and made for the tree-castle.
Author's Note
This was a long one let me tell you guys. Whew. NOw not so much comedy in this one but hey I'm proud of it all the same.
That was the beginning of our friendship. A week later we were going out. The Crusaders nearly killed me when they found out but well, something just clicked with Diamond. I couldn't explain it, it just felt right. I pulled myself from the past and glanced at my best friend as he argued with Shot about...something. I didn't really care.
"Unca Spike!"
I felt a weight latch onto my tail. I chuckled as I pulled it up until a pair of bright green eyes were staring back at me. Darla grinned back, her teeth still chattering from the cold outside. She was one hundred pounds of energy and sugar. Her coat was the same alabaster as her mother's and her mane was a curly mass of blonde, all corralled by twin pink bows. She was an earth pony like her father. Though she had all the spunk and joy her mother used to have at that age, with twice the energy.
"What's up squirt?" Pip asked as he ruffled her mane. He loved the kid as much as I did.
"Nothing~" she sang," Guess what?"
"What?" I asked.
"Daddy's taking me to the zoo." Her grin got wider. "I asked if Mommy could come. Daddy said no but then I said please. Like a lot and now she can go!" She detached from my tail and ran in a circle with a squealing giggle. The scene melted my heart.
"Darla, don't run indoors."
"Sorry Daddy," the energy puff skidded to a stop and looked sheepishly at the floor.
Pip and I looked at the source of the voice. Button Mash stood there. He was almost my height and was easily as massive as Big Macintosh, a friend of mine's brother. He wore a simple grey pea coat and black newsboy cap to block out the cold. Pip scowled at him, I just waved.
"Mash."
"Spike," he nodded," Pip."
"Didn't think you were in town," Pip said as he turned on the stool.
"Had to take care of some business," he said, his voice was cold. "Decided to take Darla to the zoo and well you get what happened." It was a little known fact that Button Mash did not like us and the feeling was more than a little mutual. That friendship had went up in smoke ages ago.
"What's going on out here?"
"Mommy!" Darla rushed Sweetie Belle as she stepped out of her back office. She caught the filly in her magic and nuzzled her with a happy grin. I noticed Pip smile fondly at the scene out of the corner of my eyes, not one those suave smiles mind you or his usual smirk. No this was his dorky smile, a genuine smile.
"Darla? What are you doing here?"
Button stepped forward. "I was going to take her to the zoo but she insisted we bring you along. And you know how I can never say no to my little girl." The chill in his voice melted when turned to his daughter. For all his faults, and its a hell of a list, he cared for Darla. Fought tooth and hoof to get full custody too.
"Really," Sweetie kept her attention focused on her filly. She refused to act sour in her daughter's presence. "What are you two doing here honey?"
"Daddy had to take care of some work!" Darla squeaked. "Can you go Mommy huh, huh?" She turned The Look on Sweetie Belle. Ha! The look the mare had patented had been perfected by her daughter.
"Of course sweetie," she said," Shot do you have it until I get back?"
"I got it boss," he waved a hoof," Have fun."
"Alright just let me get my coat." She set the filly down and went into her office. Darla followed close on her heels. Button Mash sighed, or growled as he watched them go.
"I swear she doesn't need to blatantly ignore me."
"Better than the alternative," I said as I raised my mug to my lips," For you anyway." I stared hard at him as he turned a glare at me. Sweetie and Darla came in a few seconds later. Button and I broke eye contact as he turned to follow them to the door. He held the door open for Sweetie who proceeded to open the other for herself. She wouldn't give him an inch. He sighed and followed after. Darla rushed back in a moment later and hugged my tail.
"Bye Unca Spike!" She nuzzled Pip who returned the gesture. "Bye Mr. Pipsqueak!" Darla ran back out the door.
Poor kid," Shot said as he set the last of the bottles on the counter. "It's going be hard for her when she comes to terms with her parents never getting back together."
"Yeah," I said as I stared at the doors. I drained my mug. "Hate to drink and run but I've got an early day tomorrow. Prose, Diamond and I are going to go see the theatre tomorrow morning." I laid out a few bits for the cider.
Shot scooped them up," Good luck."
"See ya Spike." Pip caught me before I turned to leave. "And be careful alright mate."
I smiled a tired sort of smile at him," I will." I hope.
The first thing I thought as we entered the theatre was, big. It was massive. There was enough room in here to fill a hoofball stadium. I stared at the stage, already imagining the scenes with vivid clarity.
"Okay so I was thinking we start auditions in say a week," Diamond said as she walked out onto the stage with Prose. "Its a little rushed but I want to get this ball rolling as soon as possible. My secretary is already securing a few actors that are interested in the many roles. I was thinking we call in Pièce de Résistance and Coco Pommel for the costume designs. And I'd like them to make any modifications they see fit to them. There have been a few modifications to the writing to make the job easier for the actors."
"You modified my book?" I asked, my head whipping to the pink earth pony. She never so much as flinched as she stared right back.
"Yes," she said evenly," They're miner and yes you will get to look over the script. Any complaints I will consider. Don't worry there were very few changes to it, and even then they were minuscule at best."
"Great," Prose said," So you really don't need us here do you."
"Things are already in motion so yes." She smiled at the mousy pegasus. "But you are both allowed to look in whenever you see fit."
"I want to be there for the auditions." Both glanced my way. "I know how to gauge a performance well enough. The Manehatten Newsletter has asked me to do a few columns for last fall's Cruel and Aria Glaze. They think highly of my opinion in the theatre."
"I read it," Diamond said as she waved a hoof through the air," You were soft in your opinion. I watched the same show when it came to Canterlot. Soliloquy is a solid actress but her voice is much too soft, as well Aurora's rendition of Scirco was much too brash. I've been at this as long as you've been writing Mr. Dragon." A familiar tension rose between us. Nothing angry or sad. No this was a challenge.
Prose looked frantically between us as we just stared at each other. Finally I broke the contact. "Very well I'll leave it to your good judgment but I will still be there, to comment you know."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," she sniffed. "Well then I believe that is enough for now." She pulled out two thick paperback books. She handed one to me and the other to Prose. "Here these are for you. Please look over it." We left the theatre and I walked Prose back to her office.
"So," she said as she broke the silence," The hell was that?"
I looked down at the mare, who wore a 'you better tell me' look on her face. I sighed," Don't worry it won't be a problem." She stopped me.
"Listen if this is hard for you we can just cut it off now." She placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Tell her we aren't interested." I looked at her in surprise.
"You're insane," I said, quirking an eyebrow. "You do realize that is a dumb move. I thought editors kept writers from doing dump stuff."
"True they do," she nodded. "But friends look out for each other."
I smiled down at her. "I'll be ok."
"If you're sure." Just then snow started to fall. We looked up at the white sky. The first snow of the year. Wow it was pretty. We carried on to her office building just making small talk. When we arrived she tapped my bag. "Look it over as soon as you can. If there is anything you want changed let me know."
"Will do." I gave her a hug goodbye.
I decided to fly around for a bit, clear my head. Though the snowfall started getting heavy. Had to start building up a flame to keep warm. Around four I returned to the apartment. I decided to fly straight in through the balcony and used my key to get in. Some days you just don't want to bother with the elevator. When I arrived the phone was ringing off the hook.
I picked it up. "Spike of Squeak and Spike speaking. How may I direct your call?"
"Oh darling I just heard the news!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear as it was assaulted with enough decibels to destroy my ear drums. After I got the ringing out of my ear I put it back to my twitching fins.
"Rarity tone it down. You nearly blew out my eardrums. Again."
A sheepish laugh sounded from the other end. I pulled the script out and set bit on the counter. I took a seat, curled my tail around the receiver to hold it to my ear, and opened the first page to the thick paperback. I began reading
"Sorry darling. Sweetie Belle just told me Diamond Tiara was there in Manehatten and directing your play no less. I'm so sorry dear."
I shrugged as I scanned the lines. "That's life for you. Takes every chance it can to throw a curveball at you. The thing is, it wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be. So how's Poulis?" I really didn't want to talk about it right then.
"Oh it is delightful darling," she gushed," Simply delightful. Its such a shame you and Sweetie couldn't join me. But duty before pleasure. We arrived ahead of schedule and wouldn't you know it. Princess Luna was here as well. We ran into her at the Rue de Rivoli."
"Luna in Prance," I laughed at that. So gamer girl is going international. "How's that going?"
"She's here for some game release." Rarity huffed. "I tried to get her to agree to attend the fashion show but she simply laughed, calling it 'frivolous'. I mean really. She has the figure of a top model and all the poise. Ohhhh, I would kill to get her on a runway."
"Awww," I said with a snicker. "Someone's got a crush."
"Very funny Spikey." I could hear her nose going in the air. "But my- ahem- barn door as 'twere does not swing that way."
"I've got a scarring childhood experience that says otherwise," I deadpanned.
A groan sounded from the other end. "Spikey must you hold that over my head. I was out of my skull with vodka, can't we simply bury that horrid memory."
I flipped another page and chuckled. "Then I wouldn't have anything to poke fun at you for. If it makes you feel any better Twilight's wings still go stiff every time I remind her."
Rarity shuddered on the other end. "Twilight is a dear friend, I dare say one of my best, but the last thing I need to know anything about is her...arousals."
"On that note any hot stallions on you're end?" I grabbed a pin and marked one of the modifications I caught and continued reading.
"None worth mentioning." She sighed. "You know I'm happy that Rainbow and Twilight have gotten together but I find myself a little, well jealous."
"You'll find someone Rares." I marked another modification. "I could try to set you up if you want. Damian's nice, though I don't know what your opinion on griffins is."
"Thank you dear but I shall decline on that. Though I greatly appreciate the offer." She yawned. "Well darling I need to get that much needed beauty sleep. We will talk when I get back next week. And don't think you've avoided this Diamond Tiara business." Damn. "We will be talking about it in length when I return. Good night."
"Good night Rarity." I hung the phone up. I turned back to the script and continued reading. The slamming of the door broke me out of the text, and Pip walked in.
"Hey mate." I waved at him as he hung his coat up. "When did you get in?"
"Been here since about four."
He whistled. "Wow been reading that for the last twelve hours then?" I glanced up at him in bewilderment then at the clock. Sure enough it was half past three A.M. Damn I'd been sitting here for that long. I rubbed my eyes with a claw and shut the script.
"Must have lost track of time." I stretched and yawned. "How was the club tonight?"
Pip just shrugged and went to the frig. "That's the weird thing we had barely anyone there tonight." He pulled out the tea jug and a pair of glasses and poured us both a generous amount. Didn't realize how thirsty I was until he did so. He pushed one over to me and I took a deep draught from it.
"On a Saturday night?" I asked as I set the empty glass on the counter. "Maybe its the snow."
"Nope." He shook his head. "I checked the other clubs around twelve, they were jumping. The sign was on too. So that rules that out." That is more than a little odd. "Then I found out what had happened. Someone had written a scathing article about the club. Brewce showed me it."
What?! "Who?"
"Libel Quell." That puffed up moron? My eyebrows went sky-high. "Yeah, bucking hell right. He liked the club first time he came by. Then this happens." That was going kill the revenue. Sure we had regulars all during the week but they never showed up during the weekend and that was where our profit came from.
"How'd Sweetie take this?"
"I had to stop her from hunting him down and gelding the jackass." He downed the rest of his tea then poured himself another glass. He was sober, that meant he was pissed. Pip never wore his emotions on his sleeve, he hid them but he had signs. "And given the mood she was already in after having to deal with Button..." He trailed off. "Then to make the night all the more enchanting Bigwig stopped by and made another offer." He swirled the liquid in his glass and pursed his lips.
"You think he paid off Libel don't you."
"I don't just think I know the guy did. He's going to ruin the club if he keeps this up. Then we'll have to sell." he drained the glass again and set it in the sink. "Sweetie broke one of the bottles before I could stop her and threatened to shove it up his fat flank if he didn't leave right that second." He shivered. "Mate she was dead serious too. I think if he hadn't started for the door she'd have killed him. Then right before he left he told us we'd regret this. Sweetie just broke down right there."
"We'll pull through Pip," I reassured him. "We've been through worse."
"I don't know mate," Pip looked up, slumping. "This time I think we're in real trouble." He sighed. "Spike Button's filing for full custody."
"What?!" I roared. The glass in the apartment shook. "He cant do that!" I seethed between clenched teeth.
"Apparently he can, I saw the paperwork myself. Sweetie's been hiding it from us. Didn't want us to worry. My guess is she's hiding it from Rarity too." He shook his head and looked away. "I've never seen her like this mate."
I snapped my jaw shut, a growl rumbling deep in my chest. A familiar urge settled in my belly and this time I listened to it. Without a word I stood up and made for the balcony window.
"What are you doing?" Pip asked as he followed me.
"What's it look like," I hissed in a very reptilian way. "I'm going hunting." I pulled the doors open. Wind and snow rushed past me. I didn't even feel the biting cold, I just focused on remembering Button Mash's scent.
"You can't kill him!" Pip shouted over the howling wind as he pulled at my tail. Now earth pony strength was considerable. A stallion like Pip might not look all that strong but he did work out and I've seen him lift a carriage before. But pitted against an enraged dragon, not even Big Macintosh could compare. "You'll deprive Darla of a father."
"I grew up without a father and I turned out alright," I said, undeterred by his attempts to stop me. I focused on the Mash's scent, I could smell him on the wind. "Besides I can get away with it. 'Enraged dragon kills sleaze'. They'll chock it up as a freak accident and go about their merry way." My wings snapped out and I tensed up for the jump. I was done talking.
Author's Note
Annnnnd cliff hanger.
I'm beginning to see the lack of comedy here. Hmmm... OKay show of hands should I take down the comedy tag? Comment, rate and above all vote.
Okay so you're all wondering whether or not I am continuing this story. Well in a way yes and no. I've been hard at work trying to make this story better and well I've been rewriting the whole story. I'm going to revamp everything. The new version will be popping up by week's end so check it out if you liked this one.