Decapitating Harmony

Chapter 2 - Investigator Whinny

They included all of the details of their search and the longevity of Twilight's absence in the letter to the princess. Rarity gave it a review and, after finding a teleportation spell among the literature of the library, floated the letter briefly in a blue cloud of magical dust before zapping it in a flash off to its destination. The five ponies made their way outside and stood in the mid-afternoon sun watching the castle built on the bluff of the plateau in the distance as they nervously awaited a response from the Princess.

A series of popping sparks in an incandescent array of magic dropped a sealed parchment on the doorstep of the library. Rarity pointed out the laugh they will all enjoy when they find Celestia and Twilight together, but her statement was met with further discomfort rather than the relief she intended it to bring as she opened the message.

The letter contained instruction for the ponies to await Princess Celestia's arrival, and her brevity only increased their unease while they looked to the northern mountain seeing the Princess's chariot departing from the castle jetty. She wasn't coming alone evident the sea of shadow in the mid-afternoon sky as the small army of Royal Guard pegasi followed the Princess's vehicle.

The ponies bowed as the chariot landed before them along with the Royal Guards who stood in formation exemplifying their power under the whim of the majestic 2,000 year old immortal Princess Celestia.

Her soft voice had a command presence in an awesome combination of compassion and rule instructing the Guards to fan out asking everypony if they had any information about Twilight Sparkle's whereabouts from Las Pegasus to Manehattan. While the Royal Guards took flight in every direction, Princess Celestia turned her attention to Twilight's friends.

"Who was the last pony to see Twilight?" Celestia asked them.

Rainbow Dash went into it including the unappealing activities that Twilight suggested and all of the details of her search. Celestia listened to the other ponies spill over with their recollections of the previous day's events while she submitted orders to hundreds of Royal Guards beginning a massive search of neighboring cities and the questioning of thousands of residents.

As more and more reports returned without any leads, Celestia became uneasy searching her brain for productive ideas. The last group's message returned from Applewood to the far west further increasing the situation's perplexity in providing no useful information.

Celestia gasped upon reviewing a message received directly in her magic grip.

"What is it?" Applejack asked her.

"It's..." Celestia paused unsure of the words on the page and what they meant, "It's Spike."

They spotted two Royal Guards cantering in from the south carrying something on a small cart in a determined pace. As they arrived, the ponies looked over the purple dragon lying unconscious on the cart with dull scales and mud caked on his face and body. His eyes were slightly open and furthered the appearance of death with a leaf stuck under his right eyelid.

"Where did you find him?" Celestia asked them.

"We were going to question the zebra when I spotted him in a bush just inside the Everfree Forest. Somepony tried to hide him." One Guard answered.

"Is he dead?" Fluttershy asked between sobs while tears poured down her face.

"No." Celestia said, "Guards, take him to the medical center and tell them to have their very best give me a full report on his condition."

"As you wish, your majesty." The guards answered simultaneously as they galloped south to Ponyville Medical University with Spike.

Applejack stood strong hugging Fluttershy whom cried into her shoulder and Rainbow Dash's chest was constricted in the feeling of misplaced responsibility. Rarity stared at the departing guards thinking of what discovering Spike like that meant for Twilight while Pinkie Pie's mane slowly deflated into a lifeless heap. Hopelessness floated amongst them almost as tangibly as the dust in the air.

Celestia became sobered wallowing grievously in the dark scenarios that clouded her mind while Twilight's friends stared intently awaiting reassurance or explanation, but she remained unfaltering in cerebral exertion.

Applejack broke the silence, "What can we do?"

The magnificent princess drew in a cleansing breath and retrieved a parchment from her chariot. The feather of the quill gyrated above the page as she said with her voice unwavering, "I must go back to Canterlot immediately." She paused visibly choking on emotion tilting her head back and inhaling her sorrow. If the others could see her consciousness physically, she would be stomping her feelings unrecognizable with anger and frustration.

"You must go north." She continued with regained composure rolling the page into a cylinder and sealing it, "There is a small cabin just outside of Ponyville which houses the office of Investigator Scroot Whinny."

Rainbow Dash cocked her head, "With all due respect, Princess, all you want us to do is deliver a message to somepony who never met Twilight before?"

Celestia nodded floating her message to Rarity whom grasped it in her magic aura, "Yes. I trust you all completely. That being said, I am absolutely certain that if there is anypony in Equestria that can find Twilight Sparkle soon, it's Scroot Whinny. He is the best of the best. Give him this letter when you arrive."

The Princess carried herself with enduring sophistication although her mane flowed dimmer walking to her chariot. As she boarded, she warned, "Scroot Whinny has an abrasive personality, so be prepared to be met with unjust judgment and scrutiny. He means well, but has no concept of communication as you or I." She gave them an empty reassuring nod and departed.

* * *

They couldn't bring themselves to split up, but Pinkie Pie and Rarity eventually conceded in going to the hospital to stand by Spike's side hoping to gather a report on his condition. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy began trotting to Scroot Whinny's cabin while their shadows lengthened against the ground. Rainbow Dash watched the setting sun noting to herself that it had now been over 24 hours since she had seen Twilight. Fatigue was barely kept at bay with the determination to find her friend.

The area between Ponyville and Canterlot was largely unpopulated with square kilometers of grassy hills unfit for structure building. Following a narrow trail, the grass gave way to dirt and the earth leveled for enough distance for a small dwelling to be appropriately erected where they found the modest wooden house settled next to a lone oak tree curling over the north east corner of the roof.

The walkway leading to the front door was well maintained gravel lined with neatly placed railroad ties. A series of two by four maple beams artistically burned with flowing paisleys decorated a sign adjacent to the trio of steps leading to the artisan glass and rosewood door. The sign read, 'Home and Office of Investigator Scroot Whinny'. Upon approach of the entrance, a small carved sign hanging from the bronze doorknocker read, 'Come on in! We're open!'

The three ponies filed into the office through the west entrance where they found the inside much unlike the exterior. The walls were covered in gray wall-paper and the auburn carpet accented the unpolished mahogany desk spanning from one edge of the room to the other separating each half of the main room. The north wall sported a blackboard with indiscernible white chalk while the south wall appeared supported by a long table where neatly stacked papers hid the surface. The office had a pungent odor about it despite the cleanliness like a warm fresh bowel movement had been lit on fire a few days ago.

A small grey unicorn sat behind the desk and behind her was a labyrinth of white file cabinets with two doors in the east wall leading deeper into the depressing confine both with opaque windows marked with small black print reading 'Investigator Whinny's Office' and 'Investigator Whinny's Other Office'. The unicorn's mane was cropped short enough to be mistaken for a colt's cut while her bangs remained long enough to hang over her right eye. She shuffled through papers with her magic diligently skimming before looking up from the desk raising a brow at the ponies entering the office. She gently brushed her bangs from her face with a hoof and sat up straight adjusting her long sleeve red button down blouse.

"Welcome to Investigator Scroot Whinny's Office. I'm Majesty Envoy, how may I help you?" She said scowling at the hovering Rainbow Dash. "No flying in the office."

Rainbow set down, "Sorry. We're missing a pony; our friend."

"How long has the pony been missing?" She asked with emotionless demeanor.

The concerned ponies stated in unison, "26 hours."

"That was cute." The little unicorn said sarcastically as she levitated a plaque lying on the north edge of the desk and brought it to herself. She held it up to showcase that it read, 'Missing Ponies Must Be Missing for 48 Hours before investigations begin'.

"But, Princess Celestia sent us." Applejack reasoned as she blinked trying to shake the smell from her nose.

Envoy's eyebrows furrowed, "The Princess?" She asked in disbelief. "Who exactly are we looking for?"

"Twilight Sparkle." Applejack stated matter-of-factly while giving Celestia's letter to Envoy.

The unicorn raised both brows at the paper and leaned closer, "Princess Twilight Sparkle?"

They again answered in unison, "Yes."

The unicorn stood and went to the door marked as Investigator Whinny's Other Office. She knocked, "Scroot? I know you just got your newspaper, but we just had three very important clients walk in."

The distinct whoosh of a toilet flush sounded just before the door opened revealing an older gray-mane, tan earth pony whom was wearing a crisp blue dress shirt under a smart gray summer jacket. He bumped the hat rack between the doors and allowed the gray fedora to fall on his head over his right ear. The hat's black band matched his tie that was neatly folded into an Eldredge knot.

Approaching the desk, Scroot observed the ponies as they awaited introduction. He looked at Majesty Envoy and raised a brow.

"They said they were sent by Celestia. Princess Twilight has gone missing." She explained gesturing to exemplify the importance and excuse her interruption.

Scroot Whinny nodded, "Huh. Ain't that some shit."

Rainbow Dash uncomfortably exchanged a look with Applejack who noticed Fluttershy's mouth agape. The words, "Such Language!" were practically written on her forehead.

With a voice like the gravel leading to the entrance, Scroot continued, "Well, I guess that's a case worth prematurely pinching one off for. How long has this Princess been missing?"

Majesty Envoy answered, "26 hours, sir."

"And Celestia sent you, huh?" He asked. "Where was she last seen?"

"At her Library in Ponyville." Rainbow Dash said.

Scroot nosed his way into his breast pocket and retrieved a short filtered cigarette, "I knew that old bitch was going to call in the favor. I was just hoping it'd be after I was dead."

Rainbow Dash recoiled in offence, "What did you just call the Princess?"

He nudged the unicorn. "Envoy, light me." The tip of her horn glowed a warm yellow. He leaned toward the horn touching the tip of the cigarette to the light and drew in a deep puff exhaling thick gray smoke. So, that's the smell: Cowpony killers.

"Don't get your mane all tangled." He took a long pull from the cigarette. "Me and Celestia go way back. See," he exhaled more smoke, "When I was younger, I had myself a bit of a gambling problem. Old Celestia shut down the illegal casino in Dodge and admonished my debt because I helped her find some asshole named Tirek back in the day. Put that bastard in Tartarus and he's been there ever since."

Rainbow Dash still didn't like him for that. He could show some respect to the Princess that bailed him out. She raised a brow at her companions questioning their approval. "So, what exactly did you do to earn her 'mutual' respect?"

"It wasn't like I did much. I found out where he was hiding after his asshole brother ratted him out." Scroot continued. "Maybe that's why I still owe the favor."

Applejack scoffed, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"I kissed your mother with this mouth." Scroot smiled. "Listen, sweetie, I'm a retired detective for the Manehattan Police Department. I've seen some shit. I'm entitled to a bit of linguistic freedom."

Rainbow rolled her eyes and met Applejack's gaze where a silent agreement of distaste for the investigator took place. Fluttershy's mouth was beginning to look dry.

Applejack shrugged, "We're just asking for a bit of respect with females being present and all."

Scroot lowered his head apologetically, "Oh, yes, absolutely."

Applejack smiled to Rainbow Dash and gave her a wink.

The investigator cleared his throat and continued, "Well, if y'all are done fucking around, can you take me to the missing princess's house?"

* * *

Reluctantly, the ponies brought Scroot and Envoy to Twilight's house. Each of them had the hopeful thought of Twilight being there when they entered, but their wishes failed to come to fruition. They led the investigator into the home while telling him everything they knew on the way there. Rainbow Dash did most of the talking as she told him about the Guards finding Spike, the events that took place before the disappearance, and Celestia's search of Equestria with the assistance of the Royal Pegasi.

Scroot didn't say anything upon arrival. Envoy stood aside and instructed the other ponies to do the same. He walked slowly and deliberately while his eyes scanned the library. He took a brief tour of the house going upstairs and swiveling his head taking in all of the details in the home.

Envoy levitated a notepad and quill from her saddlebag as the investigator began to explain more to himself than to the audience, "Assuming the obvious signs for reason of departure; ergo, a message by mouth, a note, or schedule, is not present, we need to find evidence of the subject's travels outside of the aforementioned locations as mentioned by the friends."

The quill wrote as fast as Scroot spoke recording every word as he cantered down the stairs. He squinted at the floor looking left and then right. "There is inconsistent cleanliness. The upstairs is definitely cleaner than down here."

"Is that bad?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Scroot held a hoof up and shushed the pegasus before continuing, “At the conclusion of searching the home, we will need to canvass the surrounding area and identify potential witnesses.”

“Witnesses of what?” Dash asked.

The detective flashed an angry look at Rainbow Dash and said calmly, "Shut. Up."

"Look, I'm just trying to help." Rainbow explained.

"You're not. So, shut the fuck up, alright?" Scroot said while he pointed a hoof at Rainbow Dash punctuating his desire for her silence.

"Hey, buddy! I'm had just about enough of-" Rainbow Dash was interrupted by Applejack grabbing the blue pegasus' rainbow tail and pulling her outside. Rainbow sat on the ground outside the library in a huff.

"Rainbow, listen." Applejack held Rainbow on either side of her face staring seriously into her eyes. "We're under stress that we've never known before, but you need to cool it, okay?"

"Applejack, I'm dying for answers here. I need to know something. Anything!" Rainbow pleaded.

The orange earth pony shook her head in understanding, but disagreement. "Dashie, it ain't that easy. Complicated situations call for complicated answers. We're going to have to wait until the answers flow to us 'cause this is one hog we can't chase."

Rainbow Dash frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean: If we start trying to force things together, we'll just get all confused." Applejack explicated.

Rainbow's eyes caught pink dancing in her peripheral and looked to see Pinkie sulking toward them. Her mane nearly dragged the ground when it was straightened like that. She stopped a few meters from them and looked up to meet her friends. Applejack released Rainbow's face.

Pinkie Pie's voice crept together words with less excitement than delivering a eulogy, "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Pinkie. How's Spike doing?" Applejack asked fearing the worst.

"Spike just woke up. I was coming here to see if you were back so I could tell you. It looks like you're here, so..." She paused for a moment, "Spike's awake."

* * *

Inside the library, Scroot continued his search of the home casually pointing out details while Envoy jotted down notes. He raised a brow at Envoy looking for a sign that she had realized the same possibility that he did. She cocked her head gesturing her query without words.

Scroot looked up to the loft surveying it's lack of settled dust in suspicious places, "I think we have a ponynapping here."

Envoy mutely surveyed her surroundings trying to see Scroot's intuition, but nothing appeared out of the ordinary. She had only been working with him on small cases around Ponyville for a couple of years; therefore, she hadn't yet gained the ability to observe miniscule details presenting themselves so obviously to Scroot.

She pressed her lips into a thin line and said, "I'm not seeing it."

Pointing with a hoof, Scroot explained, "The loft has dust settled on the desk near the window, and yet the end table is spotless. The basket where the dragon sleeps is messy, but the bed itself is neatly made."

Envoy shrugged with the inability to make a connection, "So?"

"So," He began, "Considering Celestia had the entire Royal Pegasus Guard search all of Equestria, she can only be somewhere witnesses would not have seen her. That means that somepony is hiding her. I would assume against her will or they wouldn't have found Spike in the Everfree Forest."

"No, Scroot. How does the cleanliness mean she's been ponynapped?" She asked.

"It means that somepony tried to hide their presence, Envoy. They had to have returned and cleaned up the mess they made in the struggle while predictably neglecting the rest of the house." Scroot explained.

Envoy shook her head, "I find it hard to believe that somepony could have overcome the alicorn known for her magical prowess."

Scroot's eyes darted across the floor as he slowly walked to the stairs, "It's unlikely; not impossible, but a crime was committed here, I'm sure of that."

They had worked this kind of case before, and ponynappings were the most difficult to solve in their field due to the stakes. If an heirloom is stolen, the pony responsible doesn't cover their tracks as well because there isn't as much on the line. In these types of cases, they're usually working against somepony that is aiming to get away with it.

Envoy found herself a bit intimidated by the circumstances. It wasn't very often they were contracted by members of the monarchy, but they had never been given an official document granting peace officer status with an arresting capability. She began to think that the stories Scroot spun of his past work with Celestia must be true.

"What would a pony do with a Princess?" Envoy asked.

Scroot laughed hard and shook his head dismissing the question as rhetorical.

Chagrin fluttered Envoy's eyes, "What?"

"Everything," He said. "You could demand bits, you could demand power, or you could just be looking for infamy."

Scroot stopped walking abruptly becoming ensnared in a concentrated study of the corner of the first stair and the wall where he found a tiny blue speck lying on the wood floor. He leaned closely to it slowing his breathing and squinting. He raised a hoof and waved Envoy to him.

"You see that?" He said pointing with his forehead. "Is that what I think it is?"

Envoy raised a brow and looked closely observing a jagged fragment of a brilliant blue flower pedal. She stood straight, "Poison joke?"

Scroot shook his head lightly, "Look at the veins." He pointed with a hoof and drew magnified squares over the pedal in the air. "Veins that cross over one another in perfect squares like that are only found in one plant in Equestria."

Envoy whispered, "Candy-lions?"

The investigator nodded, "That’s decidedly lucky. Black light me, and we'll see if there are any oils."

The unicorn's horn flashed red, and then decayed into blackness emitting a shadow of unseen materials hiding in the light. As if looking into a negative, small incomplete semi-circles marked a path up the stairs.

Envoy asked quietly, "Why is that lucky?"

"Those hoof prints are glowing green. That's candy-lion oils." Scroot observed before returning to the floor examining the shadow projected by Envoy's horn. She continued to take notes as they followed the hoof-steps up the stairs.

“Candy-lions are an interesting flower taking the evolutionary trait of appearance mimicry. They also grow in only one place in Equestria.”

"The Everfree Forest." Envoy said.

Scroot nodded without taking his careful gaze from the floor, “Candy-lion oils are resistant to destruction just like the pollen. So, even if the suspect showered, they'd leave it behind on hard surfaces like this."

As they arrived at the top of the stairs, Envoy could see the indelicate cleaning that was evident in the bits of sand on the rug beneath the bed among other signs. They swiveled their heads trying to map out the pattern and draw a path that the pony took through the loft, but the movement was so erratic that the hoof prints appeared as though molten emerald had been dribbled all around the bed. The hoof prints could be seen fading away down the stairs as the source depleted its available transferring material.

Envoy shifted her sight upward to the head-board of the bed and noticed a glow that looked like a sea of black tentacles reaching upwards that was imprinted into the wood and on the wall. Large blotches of dark glow covered the pillow and bed covers and a sharp gasp quietly struck her alerting Scroot to her find.

Scroot shook his head staring into the spots on the walls. He cantered to the end of the bed and craned his neck to see the large oval shape on the floor beneath the bed. "You're in for a big case, Envoy." He drew a sobering breath looking into Envoy's nervous eyes, "Ponies will be talking about this for centuries."

Envoy knew what he was saying and she knew what the black stains were. She began sinking into the feeling that their small time investigations office may be in over their head. Her career had been primarily spent on recovering run-away colts and fillies on bad days, and finding lost or stolen scooters and carts on good days. Never did she anticipate that one day, in Ponyville for Celestia's sake, that she would be investigating anything of this magnitude.

Scroot sighed, "We're not looking for Twilight Sparkle anymore." He shook his head grimly. "We're looking for her body."