Decapitating Harmony

Chapter 8 – Cat and Mouse

They had become deaf to the muffled clicking and clacking of the train’s wheels against the rail ties. Rarity had not said anything, and neither did Scroot, as she awaited him to break the ice. She figured an investigator with the experiences and wisdom that he had would enjoy talking about it, but she found that he appeared to enjoy the silence at that moment. Their bodies rhythmically swayed next to each other slightly as the train bounced between the tracks against the nearly imperceptibly uneven rails.

Rarity finally said something, “Are you okay, Scroot?”

He sighed nodding slowly, “Trains just make me nervous, and I can’t smoke in here.”

“We could’ve gotten in a smoking coach if you had preferred.” Rarity sympathized.

“You wanted first class.” He said simply. “I’m okay with that. We’ll be in Canterlot in a bit. It’s really not a big deal.”

Rarity smiled at him, “You really are sweet.”

He peered at her without moving, “What? Two days ago, you said that I was incapable of being considerate.”

“You’re a bit rough in your speech, but I can see you have a heart.” Rarity rested a hoof on his. She wasn’t trying to be comforting or apologetic. She was more testing him to see how he would react to her touch. He didn’t shoo her hoof away nor did he move himself away from her. He just allowed her to touch him.

He smiled and looked at her, “Everypony has a heart, Rarity, and I’m not referring anatomically.”

“Not like yours, Scroot. Yours is one softened by the experience and ache of aged wisdom.” She slowly slid her hoof over his allowing their forelegs to cross over one another. To anypony observing them, they appeared to be a pair in honeymoon.

He didn’t say anything, but wore a warm smile in positive reflection to Rarity’s compliment.

“Can I ask you a question?” Rarity asked.

“Sure.” Scroot said.

She gave pause with uncertainty that her question would go over well. “Have you dated since your wife passed?”

“No.” He said with a light chuckle. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, honey, but I don’t get along very well with other ponies. My wife just fell onto my back all of those years ago, and I decided to keep her around.”

“You haven’t even tried to since then?” Rarity asked with a raised brow.

He shook his head. “I would agree with you, but that’s not entirely true because I didn’t try before her either. Like I said, she barged into my life, was convinced that I was the one, and chased me.”

“So, you don’t date?” She asked removing her hoof back to her lap with disappointment.

He studied her face as she looked away, “Rarity, what are you getting at?”

She glanced at him, but couldn’t maintain eye contact in her embarrassment, “I like you, Scroot. I don’t know why, but I find your vulgarity to be strangely charming. You’re seasoned, you’re honest, and your weathered appearance works for you.”

He cocked his head, “Thanks?”

She laughed falling onto him, “That’s a good thing.”

Scroot accepted her collapse wrapping a hoof around her and holding them up. They smiled to each other for a moment with Scroot’s expressive eyes displaying his flattered happiness.

“Sweetie, I like you, too.” He said.

She wanted a reason, but was apprehensive believing she would ruin the moment with a stupid question like, “Why do you like me?” So she simply rested against him and enjoyed herself in his strong embrace.

“Applejack said she thinks of me as an enemy because of Rainbow. I assume you don’t feel the same way.” He said.

She pressed onto his chest picking herself up, “At first, I was angry at you, yes, but I realize that you were simply mistaken and mistakes happen during the course of investigations all the time, I’m sure.”

He nodded, “If it makes you feel better, I do feel bad for having her arrested.”

“You don’t have to console me.” She returned to her own seat, “Applejack is much like you in that she has an unfiltered honesty although you’re much more profane.”

The train attendant announced their arrival in Canterlot as a light pull affected the passengers as the train came to a halt in the station. Old white buildings stippling the mountainside held the image of the city’s pristine royal importance and never failed to take Rarity’s breath away. Scroot hailed a taxi coach and relayed their destination to the driver whom pulled them to the massive and majestic Canterlot Castle.

The driver let them off at the front gate and gave them directions to the gift shop with the assumption that Scroot and Rarity was another pair of tourists. Scroot told him he was an idiot and led Rarity to the guard station just outside the gate. It was a small outpost where a unicorn royal guard sat behind a marble desk reading a magazine. The pegasus guard in the rear corner bounced a red rubber ball off the concrete wall slapping it back and forth with his right hoof. The consistent pounding was immediately offensive to Scroot’s ears although Rarity didn’t seem to notice.

“Investigators to see the Princess.” Scroot said placing his P.I. identification on the desk while watching the pegasus continue his obnoxious passing of time.

“Do you have an appointment?” The unicorn asked without looking up.

“No, but it’s important.” Scroot said feeling like he had to talk over the light squeak emitted by the ball as it collided against the wall and again against the pegasus’ hoof.

“Likely story.” The unicorn answered. “How about I take a message, and we’ll get back to you?”

“Hey.” Scroot called to the pegasus. “Knock it off for a second.”

The pegasus didn’t look away from the ball as he tracked it and hit it again, “You’ll be alright.”

Rarity said, “It is quite irritating, sir.”

“So?” The pegasus asked bouncing the ball again.

Scroot cocked his head and furrowed his brow, “So, I’ll bounce your head off that wall if you don’t quit.”

Rarity put a hoof on Scroot’s shoulder, “Applejack is half his size, and she kicked your ass.”

The pegasus snatched the ball out of the air with his forelegs and shot a deadly glare at Scroot. He gave Scroot a sinister smile with a raised brow, “Sir, you have to be careful with threats like that.” He gestured to the unicorn while continuing to talk to Scroot, “You’re the size of pony that I’d pick up to beat his ass with.”

“I need to speak with the Princess, right now.” Scroot said firmly.

The pegasus sarcastically agreed, “Oh, absolutely, but I can’t guarantee that she’ll see you today.”

“I can.” Scroot assured. “Tell her these exact words.”

* * *

Princess Celestia shuffled through papers in her small private office trying to find something worth while of her decree. The gray stone walls were remarkably contrasting to the extravagant throne at which she normally did business, but she couldn’t bring herself to face public scrutiny with the death of her most promising student still fresh in her mind. Every time she thought about it, anger and frustration would take hold of her usually elegant and poised presence. The ordinances and legislation she skimmed were dwarfed in importance as she struggled to continue her duties with so many ponies concerned with such infinitesimal details and minuscule issues. It was working down her patience more than usual.

Celestia upheld the image of a princess without effort, and she had grown tired of everypony walking on eggshells around her as if one false move would earn them a lifetime in a dungeon. The most irritating ponies were the ones which would assume that a few passing conversations would earn them some sort of special privilege. The sheer number of snooty Canterlot ponies that name drop because they said hello to her once at some random event continually surprised her. That attitude was especially displayed by municipalities led by some jackass whom wanted a national ban on the stupidest things like what direction somepony could walk on certain days of the week.

A knock at the door caught Celestia’s attention before a muffled voice came from behind the door, “Princess. You have a stubborn and foul mouthed earth pony with a unicorn saying he wants to see you as soon as possible. He said it was concerning Rainbow Dash.”

It wouldn’t have been the first pony to demand entry using Rainbow as a fulcrum. When the news broke of the Wonderbolt hopeful being arrested, she had at least three ponies a day send a Royal Guard to her office with that same message.

Celestia gestured pointlessly to the disembodied voice behind the door, “Please ask them to come back another time.” She said the same way she had a dozen times before.

“Your majesty, please don’t take this the wrong way, but the earth pony asked me to tell you something that I’m not entirely comfortable with.” The deep gritty voice said.

She raised a brow and opened the door with her magic. “That is?” She asked.

“That you’re... um... a bitch, your majesty.” The Royal Unicorn Guard said with an upward inflection as if asking a question.

Celestia stood unmoving for a moment giving pause to Scroot’s dry sense of humor. She said casually, “Send him in.”

The unicorn guard recoiled in surprise, bowed, and left to retrieve Scroot and Rarity.

Upon entry, Rarity bowed while Scroot remained upright. He approached Celestia with a haughty brow raised standing strong in her majestic and powerful presence.

“You get my message?” Scroot asked her.

The princess smiled, “Do you think you’re funny?”

Scroot returned the smile, “Oh, I know I’m funny. You’re the killjoy in this hell-hole you call a kingdom.”

Rarity froze in her bow and didn’t look up. She simply affixed her eyes on the rug below her hooves in surprise at Scroot acting like he was talking with an old bar buddy.

Princess Celestia addressed Rarity, “You may rise, Rarity.”

The white unicorn did shifting her eyes from Scroot to Celestia expecting at any moment for her horn to flash a laser and obliterate Scroot’s arrogance into a fine pink cloud. “Princess, we’re here with sufficient evidence to exonerate Rainbow Dash.”

Celestia nodded, “I had a feeling you were.”

“Look at that. You’re still insightful and shit.” Scroot chuckled.

Celestia raised a brow at him, “If you think for a second that I won’t call that Royal Guard back in here to stuff you in a trash can specifically for my amusement, you’re about to be sorely mistaken.”

Scroot laughed, “I believe you.” He bowed briefly, “How are you, Celestia?”

The princess blew air and considered her situation, “I've seen better days.”

“I understand.” Scroot nodded. “Can you issue the release to the jail?”

“I deputized you in my authority over that situation. Why haven't you gone?” Celestia asked.

“Because...” He gave pause remembering Envoy's words, “I just think it'd be better that I wasn't the first pony she saw.”

Celestia's face twisted in a smirk knowing the investigator wasn't being entirely truthful. She knew him too well to believe that he was that considerate, “I agree. Rarity, have one of my guards escort you to the jail with this message.” She said floating a sealed parchment into Rarity's bag.

“Yes, Princess.” Rarity nodded. Princess Celestia gave Rarity a dismissing nod, and Rarity left with the Royal Pegasus outside the door.

Celestia raised a brow at Scroot. “What is this really about?”

“What do you mean?” Scroot returned her quizzical look.

“Are you afraid to admit you were wrong?” She said.

Scroot shrugged, “I was wrong. I'm not afraid to admit that.”

“But facing Rainbow Dash?” Celestia sat on her haunches cocking her head in his direction.

He sighed and shook his head. “I've never been good at this kind of thing.”

“Scroot, I've known you for a long time, and you haven't changed. I'll have you know, that letter instructs Rainbow Dash to come here upon release.” She said.

He lowered his head shamefully, “Somehow, that doesn't surprise me.”

Celestia's magic flickered under his chin picking his head up, “I'm sorry. I can't let you hide from her.”

Silence fell upon them as Scroot contemplated the words he would use to apologize to Rainbow Dash. He shook her magic from his face and walked to the small privacy window looking over the south-west. Ponyville appeared as a dull tan grid amongst the green grass in the distance.

“It seems so obvious now that Rainbow Dash didn't do it.” Scroot said under his breath without looking away from the window.

Celestia stood and went to Scroot's side, “Retrospect is always clearer.”

Scroot sighed and shook his head again, “Why didn't things work out between us?”

She gave him a light-hearted scoff, “Scroot, there wasn't an 'us'.”

“There wasn't?” He smiled, “You bailed a lonely earth-pony out of a gambling debt just from the goodness of your heart?”

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“My ass.” He turned to face her. “You wanted my body, but politics kept you from having it.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, “I don't allow my perception of public opinion affect my decisions, and you know that.”

“Right. That's why you let me arrest Rainbow Dash when you knew she was innocent.” Scroot said.

Celestia raised a brow at him with slight offense, “You were unbiased in your findings, and you have proven yourself to be trustworthy. I allowed that to happen because I trust you, Scroot.”

“Then why can't I go back to Ponyville, and let this thing blow over without me?” He asked in a nearly desperate whine.

Celestia laughed, “Because I believe she needs to hear it from you. Being detained is not an easy experience, and she will need closure.”

Scroot shook his head, “What do we do in the meantime? Stand here awkwardly and talk about the weather?”

She smiled, “You may go where you like. You know this castle fairly well.”

He thought for a moment. The library sounded like a nice quiet place, and the Castle Cafe had quite the selection, but he didn't really want to leave her. They hadn't spoken in over a hundred years, and although he had aged quite a bit, she still looked as if she wasn't a day over 500.

Scroot watched the world through the window trying to affix himself on the fact the Earth would continue spinning if Rainbow Dash decided to hate him. He also tried to remain optimistic that he could have a relationship with Rarity despite Rainbow Dash's hatred for him. Maybe facing Rainbow and grovelling for her forgiveness might help that, but he wasn't sure.

His wife's death had left him alone and bitter. He didn't want Rainbow Dash to hate him, and he didn't want to be alone anymore. Her forgiveness might solve both of those problems, but how was he supposed to justify himself?

He had become lost in thought when he realized that he was staring at Celestia, “I think I'll stick around.”

“I knew that you would.” Celestia nodded returning to her paperwork leaving Scroot to script the impending conversation in his mind.

* * *

Rarity was in a casual canter alongside Rainbow Dash as she hovered up the castle drive escorted by the Royal Pegasus. Rainbow took deep breaths one after another enjoying the freedom of clean outside oxygen. The moist city air was liberating, and she almost couldn't contain herself from flying off into the sky.

“So, where is everypony else?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“They're in Ponyville. Scroot and I...” Rarity said before being interrupted by Rainbow Dash.

“Oh, Scroot! Just wait till I get my hooves on him.” She wrung her hooves together.

Rarity looked away from Dash, “That's just the thing. We're not visiting the princess per se.”

Rainbow Dash set down with a flat look staring at Rarity, “He's here?”

The white unicorn rubbed the back of her neck nervously, “Yes. He wants to talk it out.”

“Hey, you fillies want to hurry it up?” The pegasus guard called.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity continued with Rainbow now apprehensive to the visit when the unmistakable roar of pegasus wings against the sound barrier streaked across the sky. Rainbow looked up and saw a bright yellow blur speeding right up to Princess Celestia's private office window and pound on it.

“Is that Fluttershy?” Rarity squinted. “I didn't know she could move that fast.”

“She can't!” Rainbow exclaimed, “Something's wrong.”

Rainbow shot off the ground toward Fluttershy just as she was let into the office window. The Pegasus Guard flew after her, and Rarity galloped hard into the castle racing to the office as well.

* * *

Fluttershy panted hard unable to get out a single word.

“What?!” Scroot asked for the third time.

Rainbow Dash flew in through the window, “What's going on, Fluttershy?” She saw Scroot and squinted at him, “You!”

All of Scroot's scripting became murky immediately, “I know you're mad, but...”

“Manehattan.” Fluttershy panted.

Rainbow Dash set down on the floor stalking to Scroot, “Four days, Scroot. I'm beyond mad.”

Celestia stepped forward, “I think we all need to calm down and take things one at a time. Fluttershy appears to have urgent news.”

Scroot agreed, “Right.”

“Of course you care what we have to say now. I'm going to hurt you no matter how long you stall.” Rainbow growled.

Rarity finally made her way into the office, “Rainbow! Don't hurt him!”

Fluttershy panted again, “Carneighie Hall.”

“Let's calm down, fillies.” Celestia said.

Scroot held a hoof to Rainbow Dash whom was closing the gap between them, “I'm sorry, Rainbow. I'll let you do and say whatever you need. I'm sorry! Really, I am!” He sat down holding his hooves out. “Do whatever you need to do. I just don't want you to hate me.”

“Trixie!” Fluttershy yelled.

Rarity cantered to Fluttershy, “Trixie is at Carneighie Hall?”

Celestia gasped, Rainbow Dash froze, and Scroot looked over to her.

Fluttershy caught her breath, “Yes. Trixie went to Carneighie Hall three days ago.”

Scroot stood, “We need to go, now.”

Fluttershy continued, “Envoy, Applejack, and Pinkie are on their way. She wanted me to get you to meet them there.”

Celestia stared into the floor, “Trixie did this?”

Scroot nodded, “Yes, she did.” He looked at Rainbow, “Envoy isn't prepared to take down a dangerous criminal. She needs my help. I'll gladly take an ass beating if it will make you feel better, but right now, we need to get to Manehattan as soon as possible.”

Rainbow stared at him with a look that could kill him. Hatred burned in her eyes and seared Scroot's gaze. “Okay, but it's coming.”

Celestia's horn flashed sending orders to Pegasus Guards that galloped into the room as soon as they were notified. She told them firmly, “Take these ponies to Carneighie Hall in Manehattan immediately. Follow the instructions of Scroot Whinny, and arrest Trixie.”

* * *

They landed at the Manehattan Station just after Envoy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie exited the train terminal. Envoy shouted to Scroot as they galloped toward Carneighie Hall.

Scroot caught up with her, “Stop, Envoy!”

She stopped and gave him a quizzical look, “Why? We have her.”

“No, we don't.” He said. “If we run in there nine ponies deep screaming and hollering, we'll tip her off.”

“Okay,” Applejack started, “Then, what's the plan?”

“Envoy is going to go in and speak with the manager. If Trixie works there, we can find out where she lives, and anything else they know, but we need to chill out and do this easy.” Scroot explained.

“Why me?” Envoy asked.

“Because I know the manager of Carneighie Hall.” Scroot said. “His son is a piece of shit that I arrested over and over. In short, he and I have a bad history, and he is going to give up information to a mare easier.”

“What do you need us to do?” One of the Royal Pegasus Guards asked.

“Stand aside and let Envoy work her magic.” Scroot said. “Envoy, we'll be in the coffee shop over here waiting for you to come back.”

Scroot gestured down the street dismissing Envoy as she trotted away to Carneighie Hall.

They settled down in the coffee shop where a bad trio of acoustic guitar players filled the shop with terrible covers of old rock ballads on the small stage in the south-west corner. Alligator leather couches and recliners lined the outside and snooty ponies with one too many pins in their berets and baseball caps were seated enjoying coffee and talking about their world peace views.

Scroot sat them in a large section in the north-east corner of the shop. Rarity forced her way next to Scroot on a love seat across from Applejack and Pinkie Pie's couch. Rainbow Dash sat in a recliner between the couch and love seat. The Royal Guards chose to stand.

One of the other occupants asked if they were a famous band having been escorted by the Royal Guards. Scroot simply said, “No autographs, please.”

“What was it like?” Pinkie Pie asked Rainbow Dash.

“It was boring.” She said. “There just wasn't anything to do. The other ponies would leave their cells to talk with the other inmates, but I didn't want to associate with them too much.”

“Was the food bad?” Applejack asked.

“No. There just wasn't a lot of it. I was starving to death the whole time.” Rainbow Dash said.

Rarity nudged Scroot. “Now's your chance.”

He looked up to Rainbow Dash, “Hey, I'm sorry for all of that.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed, “I'm sure.”

A waitress unicorn approached them, “Welcome to Star Buck. Can I get you anything?”

“Arabica. Black.” Scroot said.

“You sound so apologetic.” Rainbow continued.

“We might be here a while.” Scroot explained. The other ponies ordered on Scroots tab except for Rainbow Dash who refused service.

“Scroot, you ain't a bad pony, but you're going to have to give her some time.” Applejack said.

Scroot nodded, “I understand, but I'm fucking hurting over here. Rainbow, I don't know how to convey that I really am sorry, and I don't want you to hate me, in a way that you'll believe me.”

Rainbow Dash sighed, “I don't hate you.” She rolled her eyes, “Applejack's right. You need to give me some time.”

* * *

Envoy approached the reception desk of the Carneighie Hall lobby. The desk was in the middle of the rear wall in between the massive entrance and exit double doors on either side. A colt pegasus with a bad haircut between a mohawk and a ceasar sat behind it.

“Can I speak with your manager?” Envoy asked.

“Maybe I can help?” He said looking up from his book.

“No, I need to lodge a complaint against an employee.” She said.

“Is it me? I know I'm not supposed to read on the job. I didn't see you, I'm sorry!” He pleaded.

“It's not you.” Envoy touched his hoof with hers, “It's Trixie.”

He cocked his head, “Who?”

Envoy sighed with irritation, “Can I just talk to your manager, please?”

The colt agreed and went in through the entry doors for a moment and returned through the exit doors with a tall, handsome green unicorn with clean and short white hair swept right behind his horn.

“Can I help you?” He asked. His voice was sultry and like butter in Envoy's ears.

“Yes, I need to ask you about one of your employees. Do you have an office where we can talk?” She said sweeping her mane from her face with a hoof. The manager thought she was being flirtatious.

He raised a brow with a naughty smile, “Absolutely.”

They entered his office, a small room with an artistic mahogany desk in the middle and several pictures of him with famous performers. He took a seat behind the desk and gestured to one of the smoking chairs in front of him.

She sat down, “Do you have an employee by the name of Trixie?”

“My name is Green Berry.” He ignored the question.

“Alright, Berry.” She smiled.

“Most ponies call me Green.” He said leaning on the desk.

“Oh.” She shifted her eyes, but continued her smile, “Okay.”

“I assume you're looking for a job.” He said dipping his head trying to explicate some kind of subtext, but Envoy didn't get it.

“Not really.” She said finding humor in his sad come on. Green believed her to be buying it not realizing that she was laughing at him.

“Which job do you prefer? Hoof or blow?” He said softly.

She coughed and sat up, “Whoa! I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm just here to get some information.”

He shrugged, “I'd be willing to talk in exchange.”

Her eyes narrowed. Apparently his son wasn't the only piece of shit in their family. An evil smile flicked the corner of her mouth, “Talk first.” She made her voice breathy, “and I'll do whatever you want.”

Green Berry grinned as his horn glowed opening a drawer on the desk and levitating a pair of fuzzy green hoof-cuffs, “Absolutely. What do you want to know?”

She eyed the cuffs, “Do you employ a unicorn named Trixie?” They were safety cuffs. They had a small lever on the outside so that the wearer could free themselves with their rear hooves.

He stopped and searched desperately for the correct answer, “I may have.”

“She will only have been working here for a couple of days. You would have hired this pony recently.” Envoy explained trying to maintain her stupid come-hither voice.

His magic clicked the cuffs around Envoy's fore legs, “I've only interviewed one mare in the last few days.” He stood, made his way around the desk, and leaned closely to Envoy's face. “She wouldn't even rub me off with her hooves.”

Envoy became increasingly uncomfortable, but managed not to show it, “What was her name? The prudish bitch.” Envoy gave her best fake smile.

He kissed her neck and ran his tongue up the left side of her jaw which made Envoy's skin crawl. Between his wet smacking against her fur he said, “I think it was Frisky.” He sat up and met Envoy's gaze again, “There was a few more words involved, but I don't remember them.”

His magic flicked the seat's back release leaning Envoy on her back as his sweaty body forced itself on top of her. She gritted her teeth and tried to keep cool, “You didn't hire her?”

The buttons on her shirt popped off one by one as he answered, “No, and it upset me. She was damned good looking. Nothing like you, but worthy of a strip joint. I'll bet that's where she got the idea.”

Envoy tried to sit up but was met with his hoof holding her down. She could feel 'it' on her stomach. “What do you mean? She went to work at a strip club?” She recoiled as he wrapped his lips around hers with his corroded slimy tongue finding it's way between her teeth. He seemed to be trying to scoop out her tonsils with it.

He appeared to notice that Envoy wasn't into it, but he also didn't seem to care. He sat up running a hoof down her chest, “I haven't had a good lay in a while. This won't last long.”

“Look, I don't want to do this. I just need to know where Frisky is.” Envoy pleaded.

“That's not the way this is going to work.” He gave a sinister smile. “I'll get mine. You might as well pretend to enjoy it.”

“Where is Frisky working now?” She demanded readying herself to buck him off.

“Enough talk.” He said placing a hoof on her mouth.

She threw herself forward and landed her forehead in his chin. He grabbed at the air trying to catch himself as he fell onto the desk. She kicked the cuffs from her hooves, flipped over, and bucked hard into the soft organs.

He yelped but not much screaming came out. She leaped onto the desk and put her hoof on his throat. His rear hooves tried to find leverage on the floor, but he was trapped under her. She wasn't sure if his testicles hurt more than the desk ornaments stabbing into his back. His split lip poured blood onto the wood below his head and his right eye was already beginning to swell shut from her horn hitting it.

“Where does Frisky work now?” She screamed releasing his neck just enough to allow him to take a breath.

“Fuck you!” He shouted. She cut off his air again and brought the other hoof down gashing his eyebrow. She tried to hit him again, but he caught the blow with his magic. “I'll sue you into jail, bitch!” He choked.

“Where is Frisky?!” She screamed. “Tell me or I'll break off your horn and fuck you in the neck with it!”

Green's mouth opened and formed a word, but had no oxygen to voice it.

Envoy reduced the pressure slightly, “What was that?”

“The Plot!” He coughed out.

She stomped his throat hard and left the office with Green Berry choking on his own blood.