My Little Sinner Ch. 5: New Home

I sat on the comforting warmth of the sand, staring into the deep clear lake before me.  Finally the surrounding forest, rest of the beach, and the last of my cuts finished restoring themselves.  In total, I would have to say an hour has passed.  During that session of training, I had slaughtered over 238 of my own creations; each one becoming stronger then the last because I willed it.  That final golem I made resulted in being my equal and caused me a lot of trouble.  But as you can tell I succeeded with the use of my most dangerous and deadliest attack.

After all that, I still can’t fully confirm that I have control of my potential.  If I can’t prove it physically, then I guess I’ll have to do it spiritually.  I shut my eyes and cleared my mind of all thoughts.  Then, slowly and carefully relaxing every inch of my body as I listened to the white noise created by the body of water splashing its waves, and the wind gently rustling across the air.  Finally, I focused all my mentality on a single point within my very soul and dove into my subconscious.

My inner world was a vast decaying desert left in depression.  In the distance were towering mountains void of any life and left in a death blue hue.  The sky was deprived of a sun and moon, only shadows spread along the skyline.  Out of the emptiness, a dark red sea flooded the cracked dying ground; it reached up to my knees.  This liquid felt warm and thick; I was too familiar with this substance.

While here in my subliminal dimension, I wasn’t in my usual physical husk.  Instead I was in my raw, pure spiritual state.  I appeared as an azure will-o-wisp that began ascending out of the blood sea.  With each wave created by the ocean’s body, screams of pain and anguish echoed across the dead land.  I did my best to ignore these terrorized shrieks as I flew towards the darkness above.

As I entered these dark clouds, I was pelted with gale like forces that seemly has the intention of preventing me on proceeding.  These restraints meant nothing to me; I am the master of my own body.  With a quick burst of my aura’s energy, I broke out of this shadowed atmosphere, but only into more darkness.  Once past that realm, I could no longer find the entry way.  Instead the way back was filled with an inky black void.  No point in staying, I have to continue.

I journeyed on, deeper and deeper into the depths of my mind and soul.  In my pathway glinted a small light.  That intense light eventually grew as I got closer to it until my size was an insignificant speck.  This power of mine burned in the color as I was.  And its form was in a spherical shape due to the restraining seal that surrounded it.  This seal that encircled my vitality bared the ancient texts of the original language of the universe.  I placed my hand on it.

My power….my true strength being held back by this thing.  What makes it odd is there is no recognizable sensation of Reiku’s essences.  In fact, those restraints are being fueled by my own emotions.  Why the fuck am I holding back myself!?  I need that power; so why!?  What happens when if I leave without it!?  What happens if I confront Reiku again in my current state!?

I stared deeply at the blue orb before, looking for answers.  Was it a fluke the first time?

Suddenly a reptilian beast formed from the flames of my energy and stared right at me.  We peered into each other’s eyes and….my mind…my brain!  Fuck, it hurts!  Oh god!  Someone…..something…..make it stop!  It’s like some force is tearing my brain from my damn skull!

I began clawing at my head as pain and various images filled all my thoughts.  Frozen screams of terror echoed in my ears as the gruesome, blood-filled flashing in my head continued.  The seal that restrained this relentless force slowly began lifting.

No!  That’s not me!  THAT’S NOT ME!!!!

I woke up coughing harshly on the beachhead.  I felt like there was a fire inside me, incinerating all of my organs.  My entire mass was completely soaked in a cold sweat; it must have looked like I went swimming with my clothes on.  And on my face, I could feel a wet sensation crawl down my face……I knew why.

I’m just a human, those images weren’t me.  I’m not some monster!  Sure I managed to transform into a leviathan in the past, but that doesn’t make me some monster…..Right?

I started inhaling some relaxing deep breaths and made my way over to the lake.  I wasn’t planning on skinny dippy, but I did think I could use it to calm myself down.  I removed my overcoat and shirt than drove my head into the water.  Even though my body burned and the air was filled with the heat of a summer’s day, the lake was as cool as a winter’s night.  As I regulated my being physically and emotionally I decided to watch the underwater life.

I could make out a few different fish coming up to the surface for whatever reasons they pleased.  Some of the lake life would eventually come face close and just sit there observing me.  A bass that was either brave or a complete idiot, decided that it would be best to ram me.  I hardly reacted to its attempt to play or attack.  It just reminded me to convert the liquid I was snorting through my nostrils into oxygen so I could continue to breathe underwater.  It truly was calming watching these simple creatures go about their business; I don’t know why that is.  Maybe fish produce an aura that releases a tranquil feeling on those who look at them.  Or maybe, by going through their daily life, fish teach us, it’s okay to forget about your worries and just relax.  I think I should get a pet gold fish one of these days.

Out of the blue, I was unexpectedly pulled back by two yellow hooves.  I abruptly turned to see who yanked me away from that minor euphoria.

“Oh, s-sorry.  I thought you were in trouble.” She said averting her blue eyes; they hid behind her pink mane which leaned over the right side of her face.  If I remember correctly, her name is Fluttershy.

“It’s okay, I just needed one of those moments of soaking my head.” I replied.

“Oh, okay.  Sorry for interrupting then.” She nervously said while backing off.  I wonder; the other five are a lot more comfortable talking with me, but she isn’t.  Is it possible that out of the six ponies that rescued me, she hasn’t met a human?

“Is everything okay?” I asked as calmly as I could; I didn’t want to accidentally scare her.

“I heard some explosions and was scared for the animals here.”  The yellow pegasus answered with a worried expression.

That was my bad, but I couldn’t say that the noise was me.  I’m not sure how she would react to my powers, especially because she fears me.  Since the area has been restored and I can’t sense any deaths of actual animals, I might be able to tell her that it could be her imagination.

“Do you think you could have been hearing thing?  Everything here appears to be fine.”

“Probably” Fluttershy said quietly.  The mare then turned around and spread her wings, preparing to leave.

“Hey Fluttershy…are you scared of me?” I’m quite curious as to why she is.  I can understand if she’s nervous because I’m a foreign species, but then why help me?  Maybe her friends convinced her.

“O-oh no, I’m not afraid of you.  I’m just not that good around others.”  Most of me believes the pony; could also explain the ‘shy’ part in her name.

“And besides, from looking into your eyes, I can see a very gentle side within you.  So I wouldn’t need to be scared of you.”  She added.

That…..That got me deep.  Never and I mean never, has anyone before said anything like that to me.  If only she knew…

“Th-thank you…”

Fluttershy let out a small smile and nodded, but shortly after retracted that smile.  “But I can also see sadness in you.”

She can see straight into me and right at my pain.  I’m not sure how exactly to respond this pink haired pegasi.

Fluttershy positioned herself in front of me and sat on her haunches.  “Are you sad because you miss your home?”

My answer was forlorn.  “I don’t have a home….”  I used to have one, but not anymore.  With my response, an awkward silence followed.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Her voice trailed off.

“No….It’s not your fault.  You didn’t know.”

“If you don’t have one, then how about you make Equestria your new home.”  Fluttershy said while adding a few decibels to her voice.  It wasn’t increased much, but enough for me to notice.

I lazily smiled at the idea, but in my life and journey, I’ve lost so much and gained very little.  If it came down to it, I would hate to lose whatever I might gain while here.  Maybe I might get lucky and won’t have to worry about losing anything.  I know eventually I’ll have to leave, but I can’t just yet; I still have to repay my debts and promises here.  And more importantly, I’m not ready to face Reiku if we go at it full force.  Luckily he hasn’t made a known presence yet; at least I think.  It just gives me plenty of time to prepare.  And if he appears before then, then I’ll defend this place even if it costs me my life…..Another lesson I learned during my quest, but most notably from Reiku himself.  To cause pain to a student makes for a shitty teacher.  I’ve decided on how I’ll proceed.

“Then I guess I should say….I’m home.” I was greeted with the warm smile of Fluttershy due to what I said.  When I leave my new home, it’ll be to protect it from him.

Dusk finally crept forth, devouring the once brightly lit sky like a hungry beast.  Even though this darkness seems familiar compared to my inner-world, I must say, that twilight sky looks beautiful.  Especially how it sits above Ponyville.  Maybe someone should paint a picture of it.

“So Fluttershy, what were you doing in the woods anyway?”  I asked while turning to the yellow pony that walked slightly behind me.

“Well, my cottage is actually near the lake.  I-it’s been getting a lot of activity recently.”

I’m not sure what she means by that, so I asked her.

“Aside from those strange noises I heard, th-there is also your arrival.”

“Hmm?”

“The others and I gathered together to watch the butterfly migration at my house.  But then we heard an explosion and saw a blue fireball crashing from the sky.  We chased it down and found you inside.”  The pegasus explained.

An explosion here as well?  Just what was it to cause it?  Either there were two set forces; one here and the other in the dimension I came from.  Or, one explosion and the force from that one was ejected here.  It could have been the results of battle, but then it wouldn’t make any sense.

WHAM!

I quit thinking and went back a few steps while rubbing my face.  Well that wasn't annoying!  It appears what I just ran into is an old oak tree; what’s it doing sitting out here in the middle of town-Wait a minute.  Twilight said that she wanted to meet me at the library which is an oak tree located in the center of the village.  This must be it.

“Inrei are you alright?  That looked like it hurt!”  Fluttershy exclaimed in a gasp.

“Yeah, yeah….Just didn’t conjecture the fact that something would end up in my path.”  There was no need for alarm over such frivolous little injury.  However I think she may take that differently because of the state she first found me in.

From the commotion I caused, a wooden door on the side, or I guess front, opened.  With a few clopping sounds of equine hooves, Twilight stepped out, confuddled.

“Oh, Hey Inrei and Fluttershy, you’re both just in time.  By the way, do you know what that sound was?”

My yellow companion turned towards me.  “That was…That was me accidentally walking into the tree, hehe.” I admitted embarrassingly.  The purple unicorn gave a quick snicker, but what seemed odd about it is that it sounded like it was followed by a few others.  I couldn’t see anything other than us in area, so I had to assume it came from inside the library.  Fluttershy and I were soon directed in my Twilight Sparkle; I’m left questioning the scenario even further now.  All the lights are out and the interior has been left in a pitch black state.

With an abrupt flash, the entire room became illuminated and I was left shielding my eyes from the sudden blur.  When I regained my sight, I examined the area and noticed that the citizens of Ponyville filled the entire structure.  Unlike earlier, all the ponies looked at me with smiles on their various faces.  What did that mean?  Does this mean that the locals will be able to fair with my presence now?

“I’m so glad you could make it Mr. Alien!  I thought you weren’t going to show and it looked like you weren’t going to, but you did!”  The pink party clown joyously said as she bounced and cart-wheeled at me.  This must have been the party mentioned earlier.  Now my question is; how did they get everypony to come?

“Are you wondering how we got everypony to arrive?” Twilight started.

“Actually yes I am, considering the results exhibited earlier.” I announced while studying the room.

“Well you can thank Pinkie Pie and Applejack for that.  The two of them convinced Ponyville that there was no need for fear or speculation towards you.”  The lavender unicorn declared.

That was nice of them; I guess my rescuers are trying to make me as welcomed as possible.  I could feel a warm blanket wrapping my heart.

Since Twilight mentioned Applejack, that reminded me of something.  “By the way Twilight, you should have told me there was a fork in the path you gave me.  I could of gotten lost.” I teased, even though I did get lost.  She let loose an embarrassed chuckle than apologized.

As the party continued, I could find myself situated on a couch, leaning against a side wall that was free of the many bookshelves that embedded the interior.  The coffee table in front of me appears to be the only natural desk in the room; the rest must have been brought in for the celebration.  Aside from the literatures and tables set up with variant sweets, the only other noticeable thing is the pedestal with a wooden bust of a horse.  Its face pointed at the only set of stairs that spiraled into the upper floor.

Since I have no clue on how to act during such events, I watched the numerous equines like a child at the zoo.  My observations showed me that the partygoers formed small groups amongst themselves and conversed.  Those who didn’t, had picked out some snacks or danced out a little; I for the life of me, couldn’t pinpoint the source of music in this sea of colors.  Overall, even though I didn’t exactly join them, I still enjoyed myself by observing them.  Reminds me of when I use to people watch during my college years.

As I pondering this form of excitement, my attention was turned to the thumping sound of the couch as Pinkie landed on the cushions.

“Having fun?” She asked gleefully

“I am.  And being honest, this is my first party ever.”

“Really?  Then I’m extra glad I got to be the one to throw you your very first party Mr. Alien.”  She said with a bigger grin than before.

“I must say, it truly is something.  Oh, and you do know my name is Inrei, don’t you?”

“I know it’s Inrei, but it sounds more fun calling you Mr. Alien.  I can stop if you want.”

“When you put it like that; whatever floats your boat.” I chuckled.  The pink mare giggled as well before gasping.

“I almost forgot!” She disappeared and reappeared in the blink of an eye; I’m not going to bother challenging the amount of energy she possess.  “As a welcoming gift, I made you a special treat!”  She said while handing me a cupcake.  I thought the party was my gift.

I think it is a chocolate cupcake because of the dark brown pastry.  The icing on top has a light sky blue colored circle while filling that circle was rainbow colored icing.  I thanked the pink mare as she swayed side to side, causing her cotton candy mane to wave.  I placed my lips against it and sank my teeth in.  The snack greeted my taste buds with a very delicious and not overpowering sweet taste.  Inside the cupcake, a dark red filling seeped out.  As it leaked, I discovered a cherry looking item mixed in.

“So does it taste like rainbows?” Pinkie smiled.  Don’t know why she would ask something like that; I haven’t the foggiest idea on what colors taste like.  Maybe she asked that because of the icing.  I shrugged and went for another bite.  I stopped before my teeth reached it.

Where’s Dash?

I surveyed the entire room and could only find Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight amongst the other partygoers.  Twilight said that Pinkie asked for Rainbow Dash’s help while I was in the bathroom….Pinkie wouldn’t have….No, that’s not right.  I stared at the cupcake in my hand; the red filling oozed into my palm.  Oh god!  Pinkie you sick fuck!  She murder Rainbow and baked her into a cupcake!  The cupcakes are made of ponies!  And…And she feed her to me!  What the fuck is wrong with this psychopath!?  What kind of demented world am I in!?

“So does it taste like rainbows?”  A young familiar voice said to the left of me.  Flapping her cyan feathered wings was….Rainbow Dash!?  She’s alive!  Pinkie covered her mouth and started giggling.

“So does it-“Rainbow couldn’t finish her sentence because she fell onto the other side of the couch, laughing.  Pinkie soon followed.

I sat there with a dumbfound look as I realized what just happened.  “You uhh…You got me good there.”  A prank like that….I haven’t had one like that in years.  I shall give them a golf clap for their genius.

After a chuckle and a half, I decided to finish that humorous gift, but my attempt was cut off.

“I wouldn’t finish that cupcake if I were you.  To get that icing, we had to capture part of my rainbow contrail.  And in order to make it stick; I had to lick it on.”  Dash said.  I could see a mischievous glint in her eyes.  Still wanna be the trickster now do you Dash?  Oh I’m going to have a hell of a time turning this joke on you.

“If you licked it, then that would mean the two of us just had our first indirect kiss.” The very instance I said that, Rainbow froze up with a face that said “Oh crap!”  Pinkie’s cheeks puffed up as she covered her mouth, preventing herself from bursting out with laughter.

“I didn’t know you liked me that much to go that far and lick the cupcake for part of the joke.  You should have said something Rainbow; or were you too shy to admit it?”  I scooted closer to her.  Dash’s face began to turn pink; this is making it better.  I slowly slid my left hand through her coat and onto her flank.  The blushing cyan pony started stammering as I brought her closer.  I could hear Pinkie blowing out raspberries for her laughs were trying to escape.

I gently placed my free hand under Rainbow’s chin and tilted it up so we could match contact.  Her face now was a complete rose pink as I slowly began.  “You know Rainbow, you can just admit it.”  I leaned my face in closer and closer; her words were unintelligible now.  “Hey Rainbow….gotcha!” I chuckled.

I let go while laughing because Dash now wears the same expression I had on earlier, plus interest.  The pink pony started wheezing because I got her to laugh so hard; I wonder if Pinkie has ever had a laughing fit that strong.  What made the moment even better was that I could hear other ponies laughing because they too witnessed my teasing.

I gave the embarrassed pegasus a playful nudge.  In turn, Rainbow eventually let loose a chuckle and smile, even though her face was still a flushed pink.  It looked cute.

I never realized how late it got.  Guests began leaving; the once lively music has finally died down; and the majority of the food has been eaten.  From what I could tell, Rainbow was starting to nod off due to her leaning forward than immediately jerking back.  Soon she’ll be joining Pinkie in the realm of sleep, for she is passed out, snoring happily.  That actually seems like a good idea right now.  Plus this couch feels better than that old hospital bed.  I shut my eyes and rested for a few hours.

When I awoke, I discovered that the area was again, dark as night.  I also found that I wasn’t alone.  Still sleeping on the couch with me were both ponies.  Except Rainbow has made me into a temporary pillow.  Her head is currently snuggled in my lap.  I couldn’t help myself; I ended up placing my hand on Dash’s cheek and gently rubbed that soft face of hers.  It was a lot of fun earlier, especially when I teased the blue mare.  What would have happened if I did end up kissing Rainbow?  My heart fluttered at the thought, but it gave me an idea.

Carefully shifting my body, I managed to slide myself out from under of the sleeping equine.  Dash released a small moan and I noticed a slight shiver.  Not wanting to leave her like this, I decided to give her my coat.  I took it off and tucked her with my jacket.  She seemed to enjoy it for she smiled and cuddled it.  I smiled as well.

I proceeded through the front door and into the night.  Even in night, Ponyville is ever peaceful.  A midnight’s wind blew through the sleeping town without a noise.  The lunar rock is in full glow as it leads that sea of stars in illuminating the restful night.  The darkness that filled the air wasn’t a pure black, but a dark purple that added to the beauty.  Even at this time of day, this land is euphoric.

I jammed my right hand in its side pocket and pulled out an old, worn out paper box; anything could easily tell that this box was aged from the slight creases and small tears.  I lifted up the only seal to reveal two cigarettes.  I’m pretty sure there are none of these in this dimension; so if that’s true, then these maybe my very last ones.  Well time to add one memory to the others.

I clinched my fist than made a quick snap like it was a lighter.  A small fireball floated a centimeter above my thumb.  With the quick glow started at the end of my smoke, I took an inhale.  Unlike other cigarettes, this kind is an uncommon one.  The reason for that is so that the process works.  As the cloudy smoke wafted into the air, the scent and taste of clove filled my senses.  With my beginning puff, I was drawn back in time.

The embers burned on their own now; I took no part in speeding up the process.  I flattened my back against the hard shell of the library and blankly stared off into the distance.  My ears perked up on the sound of slight coughing coming from behind.  It was Twilight.

“What’s that smell?”  Her voice was somewhat tired and slightly disgusted.  I released the stick from the grip of my teeth and showed her without letting it leave me fingers.

“What is that?”  Twilight asked, tilting her head.

“It’s an item called a cigarette.  Humans ignite an end and smoke the contents placed inside.”  I explained while putting it back between my lips.  Still with hardly any true knowledge of humans, the unicorn asked “Why?”  I explained further that it was just something for them to do.

“Could I try one?”  Twilight asked while sitting on her haunches next to me.

“I wouldn’t, they’re not really that healthy for you.”

“If cigarettes aren’t good for you, then why are you smoking one?” The purple pony asked quizzically.

“I can use my powers to filter out the toxins as I inhale, but the reason why I smoke is because of something that happened seven years ago.”  I puffed out a small cloud and journeyed into my past.  “When I was twenty, I joined the military.  My squad was given the assignment of capturing a high value target, but in order to reach his stronghold, we had to travel through this sandy wasteland called the Gronzy Desert.  Lucky for us, the area was a neutral zone, so we met no opposition while traveling.  After we set up camp one night, I had trouble sleeping and decided to stretch my legs.  During my walk, I discovered my captain smoking a clove cigarette while staring into the night.  I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was reminiscing.  I was confused with her response, so I investigated further.  My captain told me the tale of her father; during her childhood, her father smoked the same kind of cigarettes, but he was picky when he used them.  It turns out he would only light up a cigarette during peaceful and joyous moments in his time.  That way, he could relive one period of time with the rest.”

“Sensory memory.”  Twilight quietly added.

I nodded and continued.  “It turns out this trick of his was passed down to him by his father who also had it taught to him by his father and so on.  Now when it came to my captain, she had received an injury previously in her life.  It wasn’t life threatening, but the wound was deep enough to damage some of her organs.  Because of that, she would never be able to have children.  But that didn’t stop her from being a parent.  Even though she was a bit rough, she was kind and sweet to her squad.  She was our mother and she considered us her kids.  During that night, she decided to hand down her family tradition to me.  When she did that, it meant a lot to me, especially because I grew up as an orphan.  I honored that tradition and had my first cigarette with her on the ridge that overlooked the desert.  It truly was a night to remember.”

Twilight sat there silent, absorbing all I just said.  I couldn’t make out what was going through her head because of that thoughtful expression she wears.

“You can come out and join us if you want.”  I calmly ordered.  Twilight’s eyes switched between me and the door.  Stepping out into the open while still wearing my black overcoat was Rainbow.  I sensed her presence for a while now.  Rainbow moseyed on over, but she was quiet about it.  Probably thinking the same thing as the lavender unicorn or something along the line.

“So you were in the military.”  Dash said; I knew where this was going.  “Did you end up killing anyone?”

“I did…..But it makes me wonder…was that war worth it?”  My comment turned the heads of both ponies.  Usually when people join the army, they do it for pride in their country or for its benefits.  I didn’t join because of either of those reasons.

“I joined the military because there was no other purpose in my bleak past.  I was a fighter and the army gave me an objective.  At first I told myself what I did was right, but later on after the war.  I questioned myself and all I had done.  It wasn’t worth it.”  I said.  I can still see my victims’ blood on my hands.  And what they called me….still echoes in my ears…….Azure Dragon.  All because I couldn’t control myself.

I felt a hoof rub my back; I turned to the source to find it was Rainbow's.  She gave me a reassuring smile that said it wasn’t my fault and that I shouldn’t worry.  It was relaxing.  If only she knew….If only she understood what really happened.  But I’m glad she didn’t.

“If you forgive yourself and atone for those deeds, you might feel better.”  Twilight added.  I think now I have that chance to.

“Thank you both.” I smiled.  I felt repose now; thank you…my friends.

My cigarette blazed its last ember; I disintegrated the stub so there would be no litter; then I turned around with my companions.  The three of us proceeded back into the dark library to sleep the rest of the night away.  Good night Twilight.  Good night Rainbow.