Canterlot. The great capital of Equestria. For years, it has served as the very heart of our people and our nation. A place where men and women of all walks of life, and from every corner of the land, can gather together in harmony and mutual respect. A place that, for years, has served as the centre for all magical learning and training. A place led directly by the great Princesses themselves. A place that any true person of Equestria would give their right hand to be a part of. Yes, this city truly was a wonder, a marvel.
And at this very moment, also a place of utter boredom.
I don't know what I was expecting really. Ever since I joined the royal guard, I, like many young men and women my age, was always imagining a life of action, of excitement. After all, they only accepted the most dedicated, the most skillful people into this line of work. A role of protecting not only the great royal palace of Canterlot, but also the Princesses themselves. Any reasonable-minded person would expect all sorts of stuff to be getting on with. But no. Time after time I find myself doing nothing but standing around with all the other guards, staying silent and just "looking guardy" as some of my colleagues were want to say.
Still, I suppose I shouldn't complain. After all, even an inactive job in the guard was, at the end of the day, still something noteworthy to talk about. A smile creeps across my face as I think back to all the times my friends and family kept on saying how fantastic this life must be, despite my assurances that the reality never matched the expectation. Even so, my particular posting was a rather interesting one. For I, as well as a handful of others, were stationed to guard the doors of the personal quarters of none other than Princess Celestia herself.
The monarch of the sun very rarely used her chambers for anything other than sleeping in though, unless she had an important visitor, like that young Twilight girl who came to see her every once in a while. Normally, I'd be curious as to what the co-ruler of the land would be saying to her favored student, but protocol made it very clear that I was never to speak to her for any reason unless spoken to first. A shame really. However, my attention is drawn to a large window on the opposite side of the hall from Celestia's chamber door, and I see that the sun is only just setting. This no doubt that the Princess would be making her way here any moment.
And sure enough, a sudden voice to my right confirmed that theory.
"All is well I hope, soldier?"
My head turned and I instinctively salute the woman who stands before me.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Celestia smiles to me after that response. Although no guard worth their salt would ever say this, Celestia was without a doubt the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes upon. Taller than perhaps any other person in our country, her distinct rainbow-coloured hair, upon which stood her golden tiara, flowed behind her, even without the aid of wind. Her garb was a white dress, connected to her neck by a gold choker. Both her arms and shoulders were bare, save for a pair of golden wrist-guards. The skirt section of her gown, which flowed all the way to the floor, had splits from her hip-area all the way to the bottom which, given how she was standing, revealed most of her left leg to me, as well as her Greco-Roman-esque sandals.
Her expression was a warm and comforting one, which she would often wear to all she spoke to. To me though, there was something in her eyes. Something I couldn't quite place. Even so, I knew the proper actions for this time.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Princess?"
She smiled softly before shaking her head.
"No, but thank you for the offer. I think I shall retire for the evening."
I nod at that and salute once more, turning back to my original stance, facing away from her door. However, through the corner of my eye, I notice that the Princess was not entering her chambers, but standing still outside of them. Gradually, I turn my head a little to see what she was doing, where I noticed that she was simply holding onto the handle of the door. Her expression was hard to place, though if I had to guess I would say that she was deep in thought over something, perhaps even hesitant. I have never known her to look such a way, but I did not enquire. It was not my place after all. However, Celestia turned to face me once again, and I did not have the time to resume my looking away from her. Seeing that I had been glancing at her, the Princess pauses for a moment before clearing her throat slightly.
"I was...wondering. Would you, perhaps...consent to joining me in my chambers for a moment?"
Needless to say, this was not something I was expecting. Princesses did not usually ask such things of people in my position. It was my job to just stand around and protect the Princess. However, it also occurs to me that I am also sworn to obey their commands, and while Celestia's words weren't an order per se, it was an invitation. And everyone, even those not of the guard, knew how rude it would be to refuse such an offer. I don't know what she wants of me exactly, or why she's asked me specifically, but there wasn't any real reason for me to say "no" to her. So, without saying anything, I simply nod to her. She responds with a smile, and for a moment I could swear I see I brief glimmer of sorts in her eyes. The Princess turns from me and enters her chambers, with me close behind.
This is not the first time I have entered this place, as Celestia sometimes calls me in to ask me to send massages to other guards or occasionally her sister. But even so, I am always impressed to see this place. A massive open fireplace lines the far side of the chambers, lighting the room with a warm orange glow. The room is filled with incredibly comfortable-looking furniture, chairs and sofas both. And everywhere I turn I see row upon row of books, both ancient and new, no doubt important magical tomes and history books. But, my attention is drawn to the Princess, who makes her way over to a large and soft armchair, emblazoned with the symbol of the sun. As she sits, she raises a hand and gestures to a nearby sofa, inviting me to sit next to her.
With yet another silent nod, I make my way over, and as I do so, I see her using her world-renowned magical skill to manipulate a nearby tea set, boiling the water with sheer will and levitating the cups to make tea for the two of us. Her love of this drink is well-known among the guard, and even I have been asked to bring some to her from time to time. Once I have sat down, as well as taking this moment to appreciate just how comfortable this sofa is, she slowly hands me a cup. Smiling, I take it from her and give a brief bow with my head in appreciation, which she promptly returns. The two of us sit in silence for a few moments, just letting our tea cool down, and it is here that I finally work up the courage to speak what I've been dwelling on ever since her invitation.
"Um, Princess? Why did you ask me here?"
She takes a sip from her cup before lowering it, holding it carefully in her hands. A look of thoughtfulness crosses her face before she looks up at me, her bright pink eyes staring directly into my own. For a brief moment, a sense of worry grips me, as I start to feel concern as to why I was really called here. Even so, I remain silent as she gives me the answer I was seeking.
"Tell me, soldier...do you have anyone special in your life?"
Needless to say, that was not something I was expecting to be asked. I wrack my brain, trying to think of why the Princess of the sun might ask me something like that, but that pondering is put on hold as I consider that it would probably be better to simply answer her as quickly as possible.
"Um, no, your majesty. Nobody special."
Celestia nods at me before looking down at her tea and taking yet another sip. In this moment, I could have sworn that she was resisting the urge to smile, though about what, I cannot say. I've always known that Celestia and Luna have always taken an interest in the well-being of the guards who served them, but I've never known any of my comrades to have ever been asked such a personal question. Or rather, they've never mentioned it if they have. After another silent moment of her looking ponderous, she puts down her tea and looks at me.
"I see. Well then, I hope you don't think it too forward of me to say that this situation is a shame. A fine gentleman all by himself. Must be lonely."
It's not the kind of thing I usually discuss with others, but I cannot deny that my Princess speaks the truth. It's indeed so that I get lonely sometimes, especially when I see all of my friends going off with girlfriends and boyfriends, having fun. Perhaps this is why Celestia called me here, to give encouragement maybe? It's not as though I don't appreciate such a gesture, but while there are many things that I would be willing to discuss with my monarch, this is most definitely not one of them.
"I'm sorry, Princess. But I would rather not discuss my personal affairs. It would not be...appropriate."
To my surprise, Celestia does not seem put down by my remark. Rather, she lets out a brief giggle. I raise my eyebrow, showing clear confusion at this reaction. As she stifles her laugh with one hand, she looks at me with a warm expression.
"Oh, forgive me. It's just been so long since I had such a conversation with one of my guards. I forget sometimes how serious you can all get."
That much I knew all too well. Many a time I've been called a "stick-in-the-mud" by my friends outside of the guard. A disciplined training can do that, I admit. Not that it ever bothered me of course. But even so, I remain silent as the Princess speak again.
"If you don't mind my saying so, I think the women of my kingdom are most unfortunate that you haven't pursued any of them as of yet."
My previous look of confusion returns to my face.
"Um...thank you your majesty."
Celestia glances at the floor for a brief moment as she speak again.
"I'm sure you would be a more-than-worthy match for anybody you chose. Perhaps even..."
She pauses for a moment before looking up at me, and I see that glimmer in her eyes again. Before I can say or do anything, I see her lean forward and reach out with one hand, which she then places gently upon my own, which I had resting on the side of the couch I was sitting on. In this moment, my heart races a little as I look from our hands, to her eyes, as she finishes her sentence.
"...a Princess?"
Suddenly, it was as though a vital puzzle piece had been thrown right into my lap. All of the events prior to this moment were now brought into very sharp focus for me. In fact, if you were to describe the current state of the inside of my head, it would probably be a massive banner, complete with fanfare, which read the words "Congratulations! You've finally figured out that she's been trying to flirt with you this whole time you complete moron!" As one might expect, this started more than a little sweating on my part. However, rather than put her off, Celestia simply continued to stare at me with a look that could only be described as amorous. In this moment, my words utterly fail me.
"I...but you...we...um....huh?!"
After another brief giggle from Celestia, she releases my hand and leans back into her chair before speaking to me, with her usual calm and soothing voice.
"I'm sure this comes as quite a surprise to you. There's no need to say it. I'm sure I would react much the same way in your position. But your ears do not deceive you, soldier. I have indeed suggested, as you've no doubt figured out by now, that the two of us should be involved in some way."
The fact that she was able to make this offer, completely out of the blue, and yet still keep the reserved and collected demeanor she was famous for, just spoke volumes about this woman. She just sat there, waiting for me to give my response to all this, and at the rate I'm going, that won't happen for quite some time. Celestia, perhaps sensing this, simply reached forward and picked up her tea again and took another sip. After a good five minutes of silence from the pair of us, I finally manage to get my thoughts together after the shock of her offer. Clearing my throat, and thus gaining her attention, I give a response that I knew would be the most suitable.
"I...appreciate your offer, Princess. Really, I do. It's just...I don't think it would be all that appropriate."
She stares at me with a blank expression for a few moments, and I briefly fear that I might have offended her. Thankfully, that turns out not to be the case as she lets out a hearty chuckle before speaking.
"If you're worried about me dating "beneath my station", as some would no doubt call it, I assure you, such a thing would not be unheard of. Just ask my niece."
Rats, I think to myself. I'd actually forgotten that guards getting together with Princesses wasn't actually a new thing. So, like an idiot, I just sit there in silence, leading to Celestia breaking the quiet between us.
"Is it that you find me...undesirable?"
In an almost reflex action, I shake my head rapidly.
"No! Of course not!"
And that, at least, I knew to be a completely true statement on my part. This was, after all, Princess Celestia. Regarded far and wide as one of the most beautiful women around. A woman who, for as long he could remember, had been the object of desire for many a man in their nation, and beyond. Heck, I was sure that I'd even known a fair few women who'd harbored a crush on her at one point. Even I, in my youth, had often fantasized about her. So to say that I found her in any way unappealing would be about as far from the truth as one could get. And while that attraction had stayed with me, even during my time in the guard, not once had the prospect of acting on such thoughts ever even occurred to me.
And it was here that a new thought entered my mind. A though that, frankly, I should have voiced the moment this whole thing started.
"It's just...why me?"
Another thoughtful look passed Celestia's face before she cracked a small smile and answered me.
"The guard have always been a source of good character. Men and women who are all brave, selfless and good-natured. You wouldn't have earned this position if you were anything less."
That much I knew to be true. There were, after all many rigorous examinations of the kinds of people we were before they even let us in to basic training in this job. I remain silent as Celestia carried on.
"Oh, there may have been those among the nobility perhaps who have professed an attraction or interest in me. But I have been at this game too long to fall for such words like some giggling schoolgirl. I know they would only use such a union for their own desires. Needless to say, I've have stayed far from such entanglements. Only those I believe I can trust would I consider approaching in this way."
In this moment, I feel a sense of pride in myself. The ruler of the land felt that she could trust me. Indeed, it would have taken quite a bit on her part to even make this offer in the first place. But that moment soon passes as Celestia looks to me with a stern look on her face.
"Tell me...what is the true reason you hesitate in this?"
A sense of nervousness grips me. It's not as though I'm not tempted to accept her in this way. On the contrary, every fiber of my being was screaming at me to take what she was offering. But even so, I had many reasons that would keep me from giving her a "yes". Or, at least, I believed I had reasons. One of which I now voiced to her in the best way I could.
"I...I...I..."
Needless to say, it wasn't a very good way of voicing it. As I continue to fumble my words foolishly, Celestia let out a sigh, and I promptly shut up as a result. She turns away from me and looks down at her tea before speaking, her voice soft and hushed.
"Is it perhaps that you, like so many others...simply consider yourself...unworthy?"
She looks up at me again, right into my eyes, and I freeze. I wanted to give some other reason, something that wouldn't just sound like I was just trying to flatter or compliment her. But as I sat there, my Princess almost staring right into my soul, I know deep down that I cannot lie to her. She has seen the truth of the matter, and in all honesty, I no longer feel that there is any reason to do anything but admit to it. So, without saying a word, I lower my head, not even bothering to look her in the eye, and nod my head, confirming what she said. I hear another sigh from her, and I feel a deep sense of guilt, as though I have somehow disappointed her in some way.
I expect in this moment to be sent out, for her to politely ask me to resume my duties guarding her door. What I don't expect is for her to start speaking as she does.
"It has so often been this way. The people of this land look at me and they do not see a person. They see an icon. An ideal."
Looking up at her, I notice that she has looked away from me. As for what her expression might be, I cannot tell, but her voice has an air of sadness to it.
"Even those who might have a romantic interest in me tend to stay away, lest they "sully" one they think to be perfect."
Although there was nothing I would want more than to do or say something to make her feel better, I know that she is not making this up. There has always been this feeling, both in me and among many others, that the Princesses should never be approached in that way. Whether that was out of personal reverence for them or simply our upbringing, being taught to see them as divine, or perhaps some combination, it was hard to say. But regardless, it was clear that this was a state of affairs that Celestia was unhappy about. So, staying quiet, I take another sip of my tea, though my attention remains on Celestia's words.
"Did you know that I have been married in the past?"
I look up at her again, where I see that she is looking at me again, her expression one that is hard for me to make out. I shake my head, letting her know that what she's just said to me is news to my ears. Celestia was married? I'd never heard of that. My face must have betrayed my curiosity, because the Princess looked at me with a smile on her face, albeit a very small one.
"I'm not surprised you haven't heard. It happened so long ago."
She looked away from me, and her gaze became distant as a look of what I could only describe as nostalgia crossed her face. Bringing forth old and comfortable memories no doubt.
"It was many centuries ago, back when Canterlot was first built. My first Captain of the guard was the man I fell in love with. He was so handsome, and kind, and more devoted to his work than any man I had ever met. We wed in secret. Didn't want anyone making a fuss after all. And we were happy together."
It was only at times like this when I remembered that Celestia was many centuries old, even going into the thousands according to some people. That she was around for so long, even before the construction of Canterlot, was a lot to really accept, especially since, when I look at her here and now, she barely looks a day over thirty. But it was here that I saw her expression change to one of sadness, and I had a very good suspicion as to what she might have been thinking of. Sure enough, my feelings seemed right on the money with her next words.
"But...he could not live as long as I, and I watched him grow older with the passing of many years, before he finally..."
She didn’t finished her sentence, but then, she didn't need to. Even a child would have been able to figure out what she would have said. It was a terrible thought to consider, that a person would outlive those closest to them. It brought a shudder to me as I considered just how painful it would be if I ever went through such an experience. Needless to say, it was not a prospect I relished in the slightest. However, as I think over her story, a question comes to mind, though I am hesitant to ask. But, if there was one thing I had learned from this little get-together, it's that Celestia would not be angered by mere curiosity.
"Princess...did you ever marry...afterwards?"
A small smile returned to her face as she answered.
"I did. But it was not until many years had passed since my first. I loved my second husband just as much...but he too fell to the ravages of time."
I silently kick myself for causing her to drudge up such painful memories, but I am denied the chance to apologize as Celestia carried on.
"In the years since, I have had other lovers here and there. Some I accepted out of love. Others, simply because there were times when I longed to share a bed with another."
A fierce blush rises to my cheeks when she said that. The last thing I expected to hear about today was my monarch's more "intimate" goings on. Casting a glance in my direction, she sees the undoubtedly gormless look on my face and briefly chuckles.
"A woman has needs, even a Princess."
Well, there was no arguing that point. Although, that statement raised a few questions in my mind. Is that perhaps what she desired of me tonight? To join her in her bed for just one night? If so, it would have been rather awkward to try and respond to such an offer. But, as I look at her now, I see a look of disappointment on her. And though she does not say it, I cannot help but think that her thoughts might be dwelling on the more brief encounters she had in her past. A degree of anger takes hold of me as I consider that many of those men would have accepted her offer without any real affection for her. And she'd accepted them anyway, perhaps while even aware of this shortcoming of theirs, and it is in this moment that a feeling of understanding creeps upon me.
"Princess? Do you feel...lonely?"
She looks at me with a look of surprise, as though she had not expected me to say such a thing. But, little by little, she looks somewhat embarrassed at the question, and turns from me before silently nodding.
"It's true. Since my sister returned I have felt joy like no other. My family is within reach once more. And on top of that, I have many other friends, even other Princesses, like my niece, with whom I can be close. But...sisterhood and friendship can only go so far. And sometimes...I simply wish someone to stand beside me."
As she finished speaking, it was as if I were seeing Celestia, the true Celestia, for the first time in my life. While it was no secret that she had endured many hardships and trials during her time as ruler, there had always been this impression that nothing bothered her, that even the day-to-day drudgery of running a whole country would never be a concern to her. And while she had always been known to be alone, at least in the romantic sense, nobody had ever even considered that such a thing would be something that ever gave her pause. But here, in this quiet moment, I knew that was not true. Long-lived she may be, but she was no creature of legend. She was a person, like me or anyone else. And like all people, what she wanted more than anything was to just not spend her days alone.
I look at her as she finally finishes her tea, gently placing her cup on the nearby table, and I consider my actions. Truth be told, there would always be some part of me that felt that she deserved better than me, that a lowly guard would never be good enough for the Princess of the sun. But, she had come to me first. And while I would not know exactly what she'd intended of me this night, I know she did so because she desired companionship, nothing more. Having been alone myself for a long time, it was a feeling I wholly identified with. So, as she kept her gaze away from me, I reached forward and, in a move similar to how she had acted earlier, place my hand upon hers, gaining her attention immediately.
"Princess...would you do me the honour of...spending some time with me?"
She stares at me, perhaps trying to see if I was merely doing this out of pity or some sort of hidden motive. My eyes must have given away more than I thought, for she broke out into a smile and gave a sigh before nodding a little.
"I would indeed."
I return her smile, and as she looks up at me, I see her expression, once of sheer happiness, as she speaks.
"...Thank you."
