Ponies and Cage

by Alexstrazsa

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Trixie, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1367

Only one man can return the Elements of Harmony to Equestria...

A strange occurrence happens to one very unique man, and after being contacted by Celestia herself, he finds himself caught in the weirdest week of his life. Only he has the power and ability to save Equestria.

Published 2012-04-20 14:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-20 14:24:01 UTC

1. Prologue

Prologue

By: Alexstrazsa

We’ve all had our weird days, haven’t we? Those days when things don’t quite go how you plan, or something out of the ordinary comes along and messes with you a little bit? Yeah... it happens to the best of us... but I’m willing to bet you’ve never had a weird week before. I’ve seen and done some pretty wild things in my life, but nothing quite like the seven days that changed my life. Well, more life changing than what I usually go through, anyway.

But before I go on, let me tell you a bit about myself. I’d consider myself an decent looking guy - six feet tall, brown hair, blue eyes and a bit of stubble on my face. I’m pretty in shape and in good physical health, although my psychiatrist will argue about the mental part of me. I don’t worry about her.

As far as where I live... I’ve lived in a lot of places. I had a nice place in California, spent several years in Germany, vacationed in the bahamas and lived on my own personal island. It’s a little different these days. Now... I live on a college campus, taking my courses and getting an education.

You see, my regular career wasn’t going anywhere fast. I’m still in debt from it, and it’s going to take a long time to pay back. Shit happens. So I’m back in school and living in a dorm. I’m by myself, which is nice. I like to be alone. It helps me think clearly and gives me the freedom and personal space I need.

Why do I need freedom and personal space? Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m a bit of a geek. I like to collect comics, rare items and unusual stuff. I also like cartoons, but there’s a certain one I keep to myself. It’s called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and it’s my favorite cartoon.

I started watching it because even when you have some money, college is a pretty boring place. I didn’t do much but hang around in my room, giving the occasional autograph out or watching a film with some of the guys on my floor. Looking through the internet one day, I saw a lot of people were watching this cartoon. Since I wasn’t doing anything, I gave it a shot - and what do you know, it turned out to be great.

It seems crazy, and it probably is. Just picture it, a mid forty year old guy sitting in a college dorm watching a show about... colorful ponies. It’s the weirdest damn thing you’ve ever heard - probably. But still, it’s not as strange as what I’m about to tell you.

I noticed that the newest episode of Friendship is Magic had finished downloading while I was in theater class. I don’t remember what the episode was called, but I think it was about my favorite pony, Pinkie Pie. Just as I went to open it, it happened.

You know what a scroll is, right? Bundled up paper that you write on and roll up to give to someone? Well yeah, one of those appeared right in front of my face. Just bam, out of nowhere, scroll on my desk. Needless to say, I was a bit... surprised. After the initial shock came and went, I did what anyone else would do.

I decided to take a look at it. It was wrapped with a nice red ribbon and wasn’t very big, and there were a few torn edges to it. The material felt a little thicker and more coarse than normal paper, like it was made way back in the day. Untying the little ribbon, I opened the scroll to find elegant looking handwriting staring back at me.

Dear Savior, it started. Now that was a new one. I’ve been called a lot of things before, but never a ‘savior’.

Several things have happened today that have put me in jeopardy. These events were not without purpose, and I regret to say that I am partially responsible for what’s happened.

I didn’t know who this was, but I wasn’t going to question things just yet.

The full extent of the problem would be lost if I explained it all at once, so I’m going to have to ask for your trust with the following request.

Request...?

You’ll find that certain people have shown up in your world with questionable origins. They are afflicted with a terrible case of amnesia and most importantly are probably very confused.

Now this was getting strange. Just where was this letter going?

You, however, might notice them immediately. I’m sure you could recognize them as characters from an animated show you watch. My Little Pony, perhaps.

I had never told anyone I watched the show. How could this person know?

I have written to you because I know of your... unique talents. I know what you can truly accomplish and what you’ve done, because the current flows in two directions, as it were.

I am asking you, with all of my heart, to go and save them. They need your help to get back home, and you are the only one I trust with this task. You are the one human I can count on to protect them. Please, help them.

Save them... How would I save them? Unless they want me to...

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

Princess Celestia. The Princess Celestia. That would explain how a magic scroll popped up in front of me. I didn’t have any idea how Princess Celestia was contacting me, but now I knew why. How would I find them, though? I rubbed my temple and looked down, only to notice a small necklace sitting on the desk. I guess it fell out of the letter and I didn’t notice it. I put the scroll down and picked the small piece of jewelry up. It had a gem on it that was a soft pink color, and it looked like it was glowing. Even more, the glow was pulsing. I put two and two together, realizing this was my ticket to saving my favorite ponies.

Well, human ponies, but sometimes you need to be happy with what you’ve got.

I shut my computer off and stood up. The new episode would have to wait until later. I went to my dresser and pulled out my leather riding pants and slipped into those, then pulled on my gloves. In the closet was my favorite snakeskin jacket, which I threw on over my t-shirt. My glasses were already in the pocket, so I flipped the temples out and slid the shades over my eyes. I glanced into the mirror. “Not bad.”

The last thing I had to do was put on the necklace, and when that was done, I felt my pocket for my keys. They were there, so it was time to ride. I stepped out of my room, taking a breath of the hallway air. It wasn’t great, but I’d miss that familiar smell the whole time I was gone. Locking the door, I left the dorm building and headed to the parking lot.

There it was, my baby. My mechanical momma. She sat there, shiny and black, glinting in the daylight - my beauty of a motorcycle. She’s a Yamaha V-Max with a few personal touches, and she gets me where I need to be. I love her to death, and I wouldn’t dream of trading her in.

I stepped onto the bike and sat down, then put the key into the ignition. With a quick turn, she was purring like a happy house cat, and I was smiling like one. All I had to do was follow the necklace and get some ponies back home. Simple enough, right?

I took another look at the necklace. Pink. There was only one pink pony I could think of, and if she was in trouble, I wasn’t going to think twice about saving her. “I’m coming to get you, Pinkie,” I said, putting the bike into gear.

“Nicolas Cage is coming to save you.”