Author's Note
Hey guys!
So, this is a sequel to "Elder Knowledge". You guys were cool about it, so I decided to write this. If you haven't read it, it won't matter too much in this story, but it does explain a bit more than this story does in the context of the setting. Please let me know how you liked or disliked this story. Instructive (not destructive) criticism is much appreciated.
Thanks again!
Ancient Power
Howling winds. Bitter cold. No sign of shelter in sight. The alicorn stopped in the middle of the trail, halting her methodical ascent for a moment as she took in the nothingness around her. Walls of white encircled her, matching the tone of her parka, but contrasting her nighttide hide. Whips of ice and snow lashed at her, and her dark, noble, yet melancholy eyes searched in vain for anything to break up the white-out that had engulfed her. Though she never stopped looking, she knew it was no use. She could barely see her own hooves, let alone anything beyond her own entity. So, she found nothing but solitude. It was just her, the mountain, and the merciless storm around her, forcing her to walk; the storm prevented any form of controllable flight. Not exactly companions she could find solace in. This was certainly no environment fit for a princess.
But, this wasn't the first time Luna had been in a landscape as desolate as this.
It was good to be home, but, even though it'd been nearly three years since her return, she still felt distant. She knew why... others didn't. Sharing would only endanger them... and herself. Silence, shadow and secrecy, elements of the night she represented, had, and likely always would be, her most loyal companions. They'd served her well thus far, but, now, they seemed inadequate in the face of this daunting threat, a threat whose presence never left her very soul.
That was why she'd come to Mt. Magnus.
Celestia had always said that sharing would help, that seeking refuge in the safety of a friend would be able to solve any problem, that no challenge ever had to be faced alone. Yet, how could she go to anypony else?
She didn't doubt her sister's wisdom, nor was she reluctant to bring others into her life, but she knew that her companionship could be destructive, for her and those she was close to. So, she'd done the exact opposite of what every creed Equestria stood for stated. She pushed others away, and tried to deal with her problem alone. It wasn't working.
She could feel Nightmare Moon inside of her still, clawing, screaming, struggling to be set free. Every ounce of power she had was used to combat the demon within, yet, that demon fed off of power. She couldn't win. It was no longer a fight for her, it was a resistance. All she could do was suppress it, and even then, she was running out of will... and time.
She'd run out of ways to fight this looming foe months ago, but, about a week ago, Twilight had come back from a self-proclaimed pilgrimage. At first, Luna, as well as the other alicorns, were a bit suspicious. After all, the most recently coroneted mare was being strangely cryptic about her journey up the slopes of Equestria's highest mountain.
"What did you find on top of that mountain?" Celestia had asked, when the tired, famished young princess had returned to Canterlot.
"Answers," came the reply, nothing short of a whisper.
"Enlightenment?" asked Cadence.
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me," Twilight had said, "you'll just have to see for yourself."
And so, here she was, compelled by a riddle to climb above the clouds, and seek the answers Twilight had promised to the questions that haunted her. They'd haunted her for centuries, eons; as far as back as she could remember, they'd been there. She barely remembered how it had all started.
An apparition. A swirling void, coming to her in her moment of greatest weakness to strike a deal. She'd taken it, and sealed her fate. The deal she'd made with this manifestation, this Lord of Power, gave her her greatest gift, and her greatest curse. For though her heart was filled with the power she needed to triumph against Chaos, so too was it filled with malice. Nightmare Moon became the culmination of that malice as it festered within her, corrupting the peace that she and Celestia had worked so hard to earn. Hell-bent on dominating the world with darkness and oppression, it fed off of her ignorance, taking advantage of her blindness. She thought the power gifted to her, serving to match the power bestowed unto her sister, was to create balance, harmony in their rule. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
Balance was created by those that bestowed their gifts onto the sisters, but not a balance that favored benevolence. For the first time in a world of chaos, an eternal scale was leveled. Good and evil, darkness and light, freedom and tyranny, were brought eye to eye by the sisters' power. Only, without knowing, Luna had agreed to being the side of the scale weighed in the weight of evil. And so, their love was parted by forces beyond their control.
When they battled, Celestia had the better of the fight. They were on equal terms, but she was the eldest, the more experienced, as well as the champion of the elements of harmony. Luna was defeated, and the rest became legend, stories for fillies and foals, warning them of the dangers of the nocturnal world... her world.
For doing what, at the time, she believed was necessary to free the world from Discord's reign, she'd become a monster... and she was sorry. With every ounce of her heavy heart, she wished to take back the blood that had signed her dark pact, but her deal with the devil had no expiration date. She knew full well she couldn't stop it. She could only adapt... only she didn't know how.
She was alone in her quest thus far. Many were counted among her ranks, most of them she trusted with her life, but none of them were capable of understanding. She had something else entirely inside of her. A demon, a curse, something that betrayed everything she wanted and everything she loved. In this sense, she was alone.
Celestia shared in her ability, except she was her opposite, the other side of the scale. Her powers were good, used exclusively for the bettering of the world and those that called it home. How would she understand? How could she understand? And, how could she possibly help solve a problem when she couldn't even fathom the issue? Her talk of harmony and friendship was ineffective. She needed something real, something tangible, something that could help her... something that could save her. She was beyond the point of being able to save herself, but she knew full well that she could pull down her potential saviors with her. She would not put those she loved through that... not again.
Cadence was comforting about it, but as helpful as Celestia. She was always there with a smile or an embrace, but she too lacked the experience to be of any real help to her issue. Twilight was in much the same regard. She too was supportive, and was always there, but her title was as the Princess of Friendship. Her power was meager in combatting an issue that demanded solace.
But, Twilight had said that answers, regardless of the questions, were to be found at the top of this mountain. Now, as she was nearing the summit, she only hoped it wasn't another of the manifestations that had influenced her life so greatly thus far waiting for her on top of the world. She hoped it was some kind of shrine, a tablet, a hermit, maybe another alicorn, one whose wisdom exceeded her own. She hoped her exertion would pay off. She hoped her journey would be the salvation she needed.
Hope. It kept her going. It gave her strength. Sometimes, it seemed like all she had.
The trek was long, but Luna found it minimally demanding. She'd taken care of her body. The weakness she was feeling was internal. If anything, she was being bored, when finally, the slope flattened out into a level plateau. On her left, the mountain rose up into the clouds, but on the other three sides, they descended in a gut-lurching series of jagged cliffs. The white-out persisted, but still, she could make out the general shape of her environment.
But still, her regal eyes probed the white air from beneath her insulating hood for whatever it was that Twilight had promised. She strolled to the center of the plateau, her head scouring all around for something, anything, but all she found was granite, ice and snow. How anything could exist up here eluded her. Living things couldn't scrape out a living this high above the tree line, and structures of any kind would be chewed to dust by the winds. She hadn't seen anything so far that alluded to a possibility of sentient activity, but, she also knew to keep an open mind with everything. On top of that, she trusted Twilight. She had to. It was her only hope.
Once in the middle of the plateau, she stopped, and slowly, with trained eyes, scanned for something of interest. In the storm, vision was severely hindered. The wind killed her hearing, droning out anything and everything with its howl. The cold burned her nostrils, and her hide. It was like she was numb all over, her senses rendered useless by the bitter resentment of the world around her, and she couldn't help but feel like a helpless filly again, cowering beneath the indifference of something greater than herself.
She wasn't going to find anything in these conditions, unless somehow, this storm lifted.
And so, she stood in the middle of nothing, the air too thin to take deep breaths, and too cold to wheeze comfortably. She looked, she listened, she thought, she shivered... and she hoped.
She sat there for what seemed like hours, but what was likely no more than five minutes, until the screams of the wind were interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder... or so it seemed. And, like awakening from a dream, the clouds around her lifted, the wind died, and the true face of her setting revealed itself. Now instead of glances of snow and granite, she saw snow and granite in their expanses all around her. She was still as alone as she had been before, only now she could hear her own heartbeat. It was pounding.
She looked the mountain up and down, double checked the plateau, triple checked the slope, looking for anything and still found nothing. She sighed, her stern expression becoming a bit disheartened as she looked sadly down at the frost she was pawing. It wasn't until she heard the mountain groan that she looked up.
Nothing had changed, but when the sound repeated, like a breath exhaled from the earth, she was able to pinpoint the source. She whirled around to face, to her surprise, a dragon, perched on a large boulder and looking down at her curiously, its behemoth-like head cocked slightly to one side.
The noise came again, accompanied by a stream of mist from the creature's nostrils, confirming that the terrestrial sound was nothing more than the gargantuan animal breathing. The dragon held its gaze, small, black eyes reflecting the glare of the snow as it seemed to be searching her for something.
It let out another breath, more forcefully this time, like a snort, and Luna promptly snapped out of her trance, and staggered her legs as she set a glow from her horn.
"Stay at bay, creature," she said calmly, her stern brow not flinching in the slightest, "I will defend myself should I need to."
Luna had had few encounters with dragons, even in her longevity, but none of them could be described as pleasant. She knew them as animals capable of great violence, and of greater power, and she would not be taking any chances. She didn't come this far to die.
But, to her surprise, it answered her.
"You shall not have need to," his deep voice rumbled, carrying across the snow like distant thunder, "I mean you no harm. Drem yol lok. Welcome."
Slowly, he began prowling towards her, coming forth from his perch methodically, carefully and gingerly walking on his wings and hind legs. He snaked down from the boulder, seeming to creak and groan as he did so. The dragon was obviously ancient; his scales were fading from the bronze they had to have been centuries ago to an ashen grey, barely any pigment left to allude to his vibrancy in youth. Several of the spines and horns covering his hide and crest were chipped or broken. He was missing teeth and he had holes in the membranes of his wings. Even his joints exhibited arthritis as he crawled down to the snowy plateau to meet the princess. However, she was less than eager to embrace his gesture just yet.
"Stop," she said firmly, taking a rearward step to counter his meager advance, her horn aglow and her muscular flanks flexed.
The dragon paused, ten feet separating their muzzles, and he cocked his head at her slightly. His long neck curved upwards as he peered at her confusedly with beady, dark eyes. After a few moments of gauging her, he lowered his gaze again, and took one more slow step in her direction.
"I'm warning you, dragon," Luna hissed, "No closer."
He stopped again, repeating cocking his head to see her better with one eye at a time. Luna's horn followed the dragon's forehead, pointed hostilely at the space between his eyes, buzzing with energy.
He abandoned his predatory stance for one of relaxed neutrality. "Hmm," he said quietly, somewhat to himself and somewhat to her, "You do not trust me?"
Luna did not respond, but her horn retained its life, her stance its poise, her eyes their glare. The dragon inferred her response.
"It is always wise not to trust a dovah."
The pair's eyes locked, both of their gazes stern, but neither truly committed to aggression, nor tranquility. The wind blew gently, the storm strangely calmed in an instant a few moments before, and the newfound blue sky reflected off of the snow, turning it to a light glacier blue. Luna had to squint from the snow's glare, but regardless, the intensity in her gaze remained locked on the dragon a few feet in front of her. He was close enough to feel each breath, each misty river of fog turning to warm moisture upon meeting her hide.
"Are you saying I shouldn't trust you?" she asked, challengingly.
"Whether or not you do, my council will have little effect on your decision," he said slowly, his voice seeming to carry down and off the edge of the mountain, "We must all make our own choices, and face their wake with ahkrin, courage. You would be wise not to trust me, but misguided, lest your journey thus far be wasted."
Luna was silent for a moment, and for the first time since she'd first laid her eyes upon him, she let her eyes stray from the dragon's looming bulk. Her composure, however, did not forget his presence. Her mind wandered for an elongated instant as she thought to herself which option she would choose. Eventually, she came to her conclusion. Her flanks relaxed, and her stance matched the drake's in its peace. Her horn however, did not give up its presence, emanating an aura of purple magic into the frigid air around her head.
"Do you choose trust?" the dragon asked slowly, his head turning and lowering so he could look at her intriguingly with one eye.
"How can I?" the princess responded, her eyes seized in the dragon's gaze, "I don't even know you."
"Hmm. A fair response. Neither do I know you. And yet, even the most beautiful, tested friendships begin under the same circumstances we find ourselves in now. I can be trusted; I know this, but what will become of this meeting is your choice, key kulaas."
Luna was obviously taken with the dragon's words, her demeanor visibly changing as her eyes found her hooves, and she slowly pawed at the frost beneath her obsidian horseshoes. Her thoughts strayed, contemplating her situation. She needed help. She needed guidance, and they were both things this dragon could provide, according to Twilight. That is, assuming he was indeed what Twilight had found... there wasn't exactly much else up here that could be responsible. Besides, if she came this far only to turn back around... she shuddered at the thought, not of giving up, but of losing to the... thing, inside of her. If she quit now, everything she had would be lost, destroyed by the dark power she harbored. But, this dragon offered a lifeline in the form of a simple gesture of trust and companionship. After all, Celestia always said, 'All we really have are our friends, and the love we share with them.'
She looked back to the dragon, her eyes proud still, but sad, pleading, not unlike a child fighting back tears. Her horn's glow faded into the storm, its reflection in the snow dying away, and she stood up straight. After looking the dragon in the eye for a few moments, she lowered her head, a royal bowing to a stranger. Though she couldn't see it, he replicated the gesture.
"My name is Luna," she said gently, her words lingering on the breeze, "co-ruler of Equestria, and Princess of the Night."
"Mmm, Luna," he rumbled, a kind of nostalgic pleasantry lingering in his tone, "Named for the moon. Un kiir, child, of the night. Brit," he paused momentarily, the corners of his mouth drawn up in what Luna assumed was a smile, "I am glad you choose to trust me. I am Paarthurnax, eldest of the dovah, and teacher of the ways of the Thu'um to the mortals of Keizaal since the youth of this world."
"May we find favor in this first meeting of ours, Paarthurnax," she responded, dipping her head slightly in a nod.
"Yes, it is good to finally meet your acquaintance, princess. I pray it yields favor as well."
"What do you mean, finally?" the princess asked suddenly, her brow descending as her tail flicked to the side.
"This is the first time we have met," he began to assert, his voice assuring, fatherly almost, "but this is not the first time your existence has been made known to me. Your lah, magicka, beckons to me like the shimmer of gold. A day in eons past came, and in it, the scent of your power made its way up this mountain, long before I knew a face to associate its taste with."
"You sense my... power?" she asked, her evanescent eyes widening slightly.
"Yes. When I first felt your presence below, there was something... familiar about it. I had felt its burn before, when my zeymah still roamed this world. Only something of limitless power could produce such a sensation. But, there was also something else in your essence, something... bitter, something... dark, and I knew it couldn't be one of my brothers of old, cast forward unto me by the blessing of the Kel. No, the day I first caught wind of you, and your sister, this... Celestia... I knew something more sinister from my youth still lingered in the lands below."
"You seem to know much of my sister and I, Paarthurnax." she countered a bit suspiciously. She was finding it difficult to associate this creature with something trustworthy.
"Yes. This mountain is my haven, my observatory," he explained, "not only of the stars, but their mirror in the lands below as well. Some of what I've learned, was learned from Twilight, whom I presume you already know. But, since Insanity's fall from power, I have learned much of you on my own."
"What do you believe you know?" she responded coldly.
"I think you are a link," he reasoned, his voice countering the impossibility of his words with its assurance, "between my bok, my time, and yours."
"I am an alicorn. I am a product of my own deed, nothing more," the equine countered, her voice like the wind.
"As well as of the wind, and sky."
Luna stepped back a bit, cocking her head to one side. The dragon did not match her retreat, but stayed put.
"What are you saying?"
"We all have parents not of flesh and blood," Paarthurnax explained, peaking the interest of his companion, who thought his words profound at the least, "Creators, who wish to see us grow, to bring honor to their names, and to herald their glory in our actions. Akatosh's sons, my zeymah and myself, shamed him instead of honoring him. His legacy had been run. When Nirn was cleansed and born again, it was Kaan, Kynareth, who seized her turn to plant her seeds of manifestation in the still smoldering soil of the young world... your forefathers."
"The first of the alicorns?" Luna asked, making some sense of what he was saying, which countered nearly ever piece of Equestrian lore and religion regarding creation. She found it unsettling, yet, fascinating.
"Yes. But, you are not only a daughter of Kaan. For you have the wisdom of the goddess, but the aag, the power of a dovah, yet, no kin to Akatosh are you, and only one other can match him in power."
Luna knew where he was going. She feared he already knew everything. He'd already proven he knew more than he should have been able to learn on his own. Yet, he wasn't being very forthcoming with the entirety of his massive array of knowledge. She knew he knew.
"Will you pass judgment on me as well?" she asked, her eyes looking up at him with something between fear and sadness, "For my mistakes, when I was young and brazen, and willing to give anything for what I believed was right?"
His response surprised her.
"No judgment has been passed, princess. Only an observation. Even if I were to, Stendarr would not side with me. Only the righteous can condemn the sullied, yet no living thing is without mistakes," he paused for a moment, his eyes looking away from the princess's for a moment, "including myself."
There was a moment of silence on top of that mountain, filled with a kind of understanding that Luna hadn't felt in centuries. She felt free here; free of judgment, free of fear. She felt understood, like she'd finally met someone who had been through what she had. And despite only having met him a few minutes ago, she found herself trusting this dragon. She was far from cured, farther from being completely reverted to her former self, and even farther from finding peace, but she finally felt like she'd taken that proverbial first step. It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again. The unfamiliar feeling of progress had finally made its way into her heart.
"You accepted his offer?" the dragon asked, "The Lord of Power?"
Luna was silent.
"No judgment," he reminded.
Luna was only silent a few moments longer.
"Yes."
"And you used it not to dominate, but to liberate?"
"At first."
The dragon nodded to himself, devouring every word she spoke as if his life depended on it.
"Hmm. But eventually... you changed?" he asked slowly, "Pahlok grew within you?"
"I was jealous," Luna admitted, "I... tried to overthrow my sister. We were a diarchy then. She ruled the day, and I the night. I felt... forgotten in her shadow. She was always the more loved, the more accepted."
"So you rebelled," Paarthurnax concluded, his voice heavy and deep in the thin, high air.
"And this is why you've come to me?" he asked shortly after, "To confess?"
"No," the alicorn refuted, "To heal."
"Ah. Your wounds still linger?" Paarthurnax said, turning his scarred, ancient muzzle down a bit, "Not of your body, but of your soul?"
"I can feel it inside me still," she admitted, her stomach turning over a bit as she spoke, "The power... it changed me. It seized me like a snare, and refused to let me go. It made me do things I swore I would never do."
"Hmm. And you believe I am the one to heal your wounds?"
"It was Twilight who said you were able to answer any question. I have come here to ask you if there is a way I can be as I once was... and how."
Paarthurnax recoiled a bit, but kept his stone-like composure. He nodded to himself in contemplation, and eventually, he continued the conversation.
"Princess, forgive me. I do not believe it was will that brought you up this slope. It was fate that brought you and I together. Yes, I will try to help you. But, in turn, you must also help me. We can learn from one another. Neither of us is the teacher, nor the student. We are equals, two immortals brought together by the grace of time, and the balance of Mundus."
If I am to help you, then I must know you. And if you are to help me, so too must you know me."
He paused before taking initiative, hesitating a bit before he began sharing his past. If his story was anything like hers, Luna understood why. After a short growl, he began.
"My story is written in my crimes... in my ambition... in my cruelty.
I was young, as dovah go, when the war began. I believed what my zeymah, Alduin, told us. That we were made to dominate, and that all others were made to bend to our power. He was right. We are... we were, the sons of Akatosh, chief of the deities of old. We were meant to rule Nirn in his place.
But the sons fell short of the expectations of the father. Our followers, the men and mer of keizaal, rebelled against us. I do not blame them. No living thing should ever endure the subjugation, the torture, the abuse that the mortals suffered at our talons. We fell to war, a disgraceful monument to our legacy as leaders. For years, we slaughtered them like cattle, without remorse, without hesitation. And at the head of our armies... was me. I was among the strongest kendov of my brothers, and so I was made a general, Alduin's head lieutenant. Anyone that lifted a sword against us burned, at my command... and my pleasure. For each one of us that they killed, we killed thousands of them. I made them wish for the subjugation they'd received when we were at peace... and then I massacred them like the sheep I thought them to be."
He paused, his final words lowering into a continuing growl, carrying deep within his throat and out into the mountain air like the distant rumble of an avalanche. Luna found herself farther away from him than she was when he started speaking. She didn't remember backing away. There was hate in his tone now, but Luna had the burning feeling that it wasn't hatred for his quarry... it was hatred for himself.
"But as the fires of war raged, and the graves of our enemies overflowed, I questioned Alduin's lordship for the first time. This was not war... it was genocide. There was no honor in the atrocities we wrought. There was honor, however, in the war the mortals waged. They had no hope for victory, no chance of defeating us. We were superior in every way. We knew it, they knew it. It was our nature to be better than them. But still, they fought. I later learned why.
I took pity on them. I tried to understand them... and I did. They chose to die fighting, rather than die cowering. They were the ones that took after the aedra, not us. They were noble. We were but common killers, graced with strength and arrogance. I realized Alduin was wrong, and I vowed to change.
I flew far from the ranks of my brothers. I left all I knew, in the hope that if I couldn't undo the damage that I'd done, then at least I could do nothing more to harm the world. I became a traitor to one faction, and a murderer to the other. I was without a home, until I found sanctuary on this mountain, and with the warriors I once called my enemies. I taught them the ancient power of the voice, and in turn, they offered me peace. I've been here, mastering my art ever since the war ended. I indulge myself in thinking I had a part in bringing Alduin's corruption to an end, but the knowledge I passed down was but a tool. A tool used to stop the continuation of actions like mine... but what has already been done, cannot be undone. You and I both know this, princess. Otherwise, you would have no reason to be here."
Luna was silent for a moment. Eventually, she found herself coming closer to him. Were it a pony she were talking to, she would have hugged him. But, the look of stern emotion in Paarthurnax's haggard gaze was unlike any look she had seen, outside of her own reflection. She had made the right choice in coming up this mountain. She knew this dragon could help her, because of the look in his eyes. He could relate to her, he could understand her. He could help her.
"So, princess, according to long tradition, the elder speaks first. And thus I have spoken."
She was reluctant, but she understood. If he was to help her, he would need to know her story. Luna took a deep breath, and began.
"I too was young, ignorant perhaps. My sister and I grew up under the tyranny of Discord's rule. When we reached maturity, we did what we believed was best for the land. We started a resistance against him. We tried to establish order in his world of lunacy and chaos, but, we were fools to think we could match his awesome power. He was a god. We were mere revolutionaries with but a philosophy and enough will to face our fear in order to make it a reality; we were nothing compared to him. It was hopeless. We were hardly a challenge to him. We were vermin, unworthy to challenge the power he held.
We were defeated, several times in open combat. Yet, each time he cast us away, he spared our lives, for reasons I never came to understand. We were unable to best him as we were. We needed... supplementation. It could not have come at a better time. On the same day, both our wishes were granted... coincidentally.
My sister happened upon a large tree in a stone grotto. In its branches was the source of her power. She shared it with me, but ever since she came back from that place, she was... different. Her power more potent, her will more benevolent."
As Luna spoke, Paarthurnax's eyes went slightly wider, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.
"The Eldergleam?" he whispered to himself below the whisper of the wind; Luna did not hear him.
"My power came from a different source; I was far from my sister when she was blessed with discovery... you already know how I received my power."
"At first, I used it for good. We defeated Discord with the combined power of the elements of harmony and our newfound aptitude for magic. We established Equestria in the rubble of Chaos's toppled empire. Things were good for a while. It wasn't until a thousand years had passed before my debt returned.
The nature of the power I'd received corrupted my mind. I became greedy, obsessed. I wanted more, and I didn't care who or what I had to surmount to get it. That meant besting my sister. I tried to destroy the relationship that had ruled Equestria for generations, and seize everything for myself."
She paused, pawing at the snow nervously, uncomfortable even remembering what she had once done. Her next sentence was but a breath, a sigh to mingle with the wind. Somehow, the dragon grasped it, the weight of a lifetime of regret on two words.
"I lost."
She waited a few moments longer before she breathed again.
"Celestia did what she had to. We never should have been fighting in the first place, but... I was wrong. The fault was mine. I contradicted everything we were supposed to stand for. I disgraced myself... I disgraced the both of us.
My sister hated herself for it, but she had no other choice; I know that now. I spent a thousand years on the moon in exile, to serve as my punitive sentence. Even then, when my sentence expired, I tried again to seize the world in a shadowed rule. The same weapons that were used to defeat Discord were used to defeat me... again. Only instead of obliterating me, as was just, Celestia and her newfound champions... forgave me. I still don't understand why. I would not have done the same at the time, were I in their place. But their compassion won the day, and my cruelty faded into the night. Ever since then, nothing has been the same. I've tried to go back, to live how I once did, but..."
"You need not speak more, if you do not wish to, kulaas," Paarthurnax said, a welcome interruption, "This power changed you. You did not know how to cope with your newfound ability. Once, you were different than you are now?"
The alicorn nodded.
"Sometimes it is hard to know which my true nature is. The villain, or the hero."
The dragon's head bowed slightly for a moment as he retreated into contemplation. After a few moments, a ray of sunlight penetrated the clouds, alighting on the mountain, and reflecting golden light off of Paarthurnax's aged scales. It was a subtle comfort on the lonely mountain for the alicorn. He looked up into the light, squinting a bit, and sighed.
"Princess," he rumbled as he swung his head, followed by the rest of his body, towards the rising slope of the mountain adjacent the plateau they occupied, "Come."
Luna followed as he prowled towards a large snow bank, nestled within a cradle of granite. He lifted a hooked wing, and used a talon to scrape away a superficial layer of snow to reveal a sheet of ice beneath.
"The snow on this mountain never melts," he said solemnly, "The first flakes atop the bones of the earth fell when I was but a hatchling. This snow is as enduring as I. No matter how simple, it has stood the test of the ages, and as with many things, time has seen to its alteration."
He strode to the side, and nodded towards the embankment he had cleared. Luna approached the white wall of condensed precipitation, and looked down to the recently revealed ice, its color hypnotically blue. She leaned closer, and to her surprise, found that it had been compressed by time and pressure into a flawless mirror. Her own reflection, clearer than the mirrors in Canterlot, stared back at her.
"What do you see?" the dragon asked.
A star set mane, dreamscape eyes, and an air of uncertainty, all set on a canvas of midnight fur, looked back at her.
"Myself."
"The villain?" Paarthurnax asked slowly, settling onto a new perch atop a boulder, "or the hero?"
"I am not sure. I believe I may be somewhere in between."
"Do you wish for it to be so?" he asked on a lofty exhale.
"What I wish to be and what I am are two very different things."
"They are as you are now," he said, his voice lowering a bit, "I ask again, which reflection do you wish to see?"
"The reflection from my youth, before I... changed."
Paarthurnax nodded.
"Then make it so."
Luna laughed a bit to herself, hints of disbelief and sarcasm in her snicker.
"Were it so easy."
Paarthurnax's brow descended, and his voice became a growl.
"I never said it would be easy."
Immediately, either by his tone, his words, or both, Luna's attitude changed, and she listened at tentatively to what he had to say.
"We are what we choose to be, princess. Few of us become what we once wished we would be, but our fate is in our own care. We are geinmaar, ourselves, nothing more, nothing less. The story of our lives is not cast with set roles. We are not heroes, nor villains, yet, we are both heroes and villains. We are not solely good and bad, black and white."
Luna nodded to herself, knowing exactly what he was trying to say.
"We're grey."
"We are but a congregation of ziin, souls, trying to live lives worth living. None are perfect."
The wind made the fresh silence bearable as the two thought to themselves between words.
"You regret what you have done?" the dragon asked over the breeze.
"Of course," she said almost defensively, "I betrayed my sister."
"No," Paarthurnax disagreed, "You betrayed yourself."
"We have many things in common, princess. We both battled our siblings in wars we believe now to be unjust. We both were corrupted by our power. We are the son of a god, and the daughter of a goddess, and we will know no end. As long as we linger, so too will our legacies. Our deeds will never cease to echo in the depths of time, as long as someone remembers them. What we have done cannot be undone. What we have done will never be forgotten."
His haggard voice lingered in Luna's head, their meaning pounding home like nails.
"But, you are sorry for what you have done?" he asked again, assuring the importance of the simple question.
Luna nodded affirmation, glum eyes looking up at the dragon's looming posture.
"Then ask forgiveness."
Luna looked to him, as if to say again that she wished it were so simple. Paarthurnax returned her gaze, as if to say again that it wasn't meant to be simple, but necessary... and right. Further, he explained.
"Centuries ago, I came to understand my brother, and I sought to show him the truth. But, he was arrogant. Arkay separated us before we could amend our crimes against one another. But you still have a chance to make amends with your sister. She has already forgiven you.
This power, what it made you into was not who you are. All I knew was power, but I understand now that it blinded me. It made me into something that I do not ever wish to be again. And this dark power within you will grow so long as darkness grows in you.
Power is but a fire raging within us. It can be used as a tool, or as a weapon, for life, or for death. It is inert without action, and choice. You must choose what you use your power for, and mirror that choice in your heart. If you allow hatred and jealousy to take root, then they will continue to grow. But if love and mercy flourish in you, so too will your deeds be graced. Rid yourself of any resentment for those that opposed you... primarily, your sister.
Understand her. Understand that you were both acting under circumstances that siblings should never have to face. Forgive her... Forgive yourself. And then rebuild from the ashes. Only you can destroy the evil within you. Only you can replace it with good.
Do not mistake my solitude for resentment. I tarry here to save the world from my ambition. It was not exile that saved me, and neither did it quell your ambition. It was love that has saved us, either our own love, or the love we received. I love the world, so much so that I had to leave it so it could remain unsullied by my kind's taint of power. The love I sowed was more bountiful than the love I reaped, but I found refuge in the few fahdon I had, and will continue to do so. It was enough for me. You too must do the same.
Take it slowly. Learn from each thought, each trial, each mistake. The road to your peace will be long, but worthwhile. But above all, you must have something worth fighting for. Endure not for your sake, but for the sake of your fron, your kin, each of those that you would put before yourself, and who would do the same for you in a time of need. Fight for them. It makes the toil of healing worthwhile, instead of selfish.
You can never be fully rid of the power that resides within you, but you can make it obsolete. Render it useless with love and compassion, and cast it into the depths of distant memory with grace. But for every word of advice I can give, only you can save yourself. And you can only save yourself by letting others into your life, not as rulers, nor as subjects, but as equals. If you do this, you will find peace, as I have. But you must be the one to make the choice, and take the action... Only you."
Luna's eyes strayed from the dragon's, and back to her own reflection. Her eyes were different now. They sparkled. They had hope... genuine hope, not a fool's hope. She could be what she wanted to be, what she needed to be. All because of a few words' wisdom. She had been going about it all wrong. But now, with the power of knowledge, she could begin rebuilding. And for the first time in centuries, she lost her composure. A single tear welled in her eye. Not a bitter tear, nor a cold tear, but a tear to be rejoiced upon.
Paarthurnax's strong, yet gentle voice brought her back to the summit.
"Does this... wisdom, help, princess?"
"More than you know. Thank you," she said quietly, sincerity permeating every syllable, "Thank you."
Their eyes met, a certain unique, unspoken understanding between them.
"How can I repay you?" she asked, as simple and profound a sentence as she could think up.
"You need not pay me, nor thank me. I am quite fond of Nirn. Anything I can do to make it a better place is payment enough."
Luna couldn't think of anything else to say. She didn't want to go, but she didn't know if staying would be an intrusion. What resulted was a standstill silence bisected by a mutual understanding and a heartfelt tolerance. Eventually, she sought the answer to another, albeit less pressing question.
"Why do you choose to live here, alone. You said to spare yourself temptation to revert to your old ways, but there has to be reason more than that, if you are as fond of the world as you say."
"Hmm," he said, smiling a bit, "yes, I suppose I could live in the lands below, if I chose to. But this summit is as much a home to me as your palace is to you. It seems meager, compared to the comforts I am sure you are used to, but, the monahven offers all I need. Safety, a secluded place for meditation, memory..." he turned his head to look off the edge of the mountain as he finished, "and a view."
Luna followed his gaze, and found herself striding up next to him. The skies were clear from horizon to horizon, and a late day's sun embraced the world below in a gilded light. Grasslands, mountain ranges, boundless green and endless blue as far as the eye could see. And as she looked down, she realized something. This mountain may be the dragon's home, but everything beneath it was hers. She loved this land, Equestria, her home. It was good to be back... fully now, not just in the body, but in the spirit as well. She had direction now, a course charted and wings unfurled. Paarthurnax had given that to her. Simply in the form of knowledge, he'd given her a lifeline, a path to follow, a plan, a way out of her own darkness. After all, the night wasn't all dark and foreboding. In the light of the moon, she could banish whatever shadows lingered.
And now, with a very real sense of hope, and a growing sense of pride, she looked up, and vowed to change. She was back now. She would never leave again. Because yes, this was more than a land where she lived; this was her home, and it was filled with family and friends that she loved. For her home, she would change. For her home, she would be what she needed to be. For her home, she would endure.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Paarthurnax asked gently from her side.
"Yes," the alicorn agreed, lowering her head as her eyes drifted shut for a moment.
"Beautiful."
The End
