Artificial Love

by TheNewYorkBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Trenderhoof, Romance, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3475

Spike is caught in the middle when he catches Trender putting Applejack under a love spell. Now it's a race against the clock to turn their "I do's" into "I don'ts"!

Trender is back in town and he wants to make amends with Applejack. Applejack is suspicious at first, but relents. They go to a bar along with the rest of the mane six and Spike to talk things out. Things go well until Spike catches Trender slipping a love potion into Applejack's drink. Soon after he proposes, and to everyone's surprise she accepts! Now it's up to Spike to stop the wedding and expose the truth!

Published 2014-09-13 00:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-13 00:40:07 UTC

Here Comes The Bride...

“What’s this all about now?” Applejack asked her brother for the second time as they sat across from each other at the breakfast table. She arched a brow as she watched him take a spoon full of grits into his mouth before speaking again.

“Ah told ya that Trender guy wants ta see you. Came by yesterday lookin’ for ya while you were out with the girls.” He answered, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Honestly Ah don’t know what you see in the guy.”

“Ah don’t see nothin’! Ah never did! Don’t ya’ll remember that he only liked me because Ah was all exotic to ‘em?!” She growled, her nose wrinkling in disgust. She was nobody’s fetish. And she’d be damned if someone was trying to make her theirs now. “Just, tell ‘em to go away or somethin’!”

“Ah think you should talk to him.” Mac said, drumming his fingers on the table. “He did apologize and everythin’. All he wants ta do is just take ya out for a drink. It ain't gonna hurt ya if ya go with Twi and the others. That way they can make sure he don’t do nothin’ funny.”

Applejack slammed her fist on the table. “Ah don’t care if he’s sorry! Ah don’t ever wanna see that skinny little vermin, ever again!” There was a knock at the screen door, which rattled loudly. Applejack sneared at the door, barely turning her head to face whoever it was. “Yea? Who is it?!”

“Its...Trender.”

Applejack rose from her seat, fists clenched. Big Mac glared at her and she sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit as she relaxed. She went over to the door and unlocked it, but never said for Trender to come in. Giving him a once over that would terrify even the meanest of men, she barked, “State yer business before you get a boot to the nuts and screen door in the face.”

“I came to ask of your forgiveness, Applejack. I acted like a complete idiot.” Trender said, putting a hand on his heart.

Applejack snorted. “Ain’t that the truth.”

“And, to make up for it, I want to take you and all your friends out to drinks.” He looked into her eyes searchingly, hoping that she would go easy on him and he wouldn’t end up on the ground clutching at his privates for dear life.

Applejack looked him over again. “No funny business?”

He nodded. “No funny business.”

The farmer pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Fine. Ah’ll tell the girls that we’ll meet ya at Berry’s at six. How does that sound?” She asked him, her expression softening. If he had really changed, then maybe it would be a good idea to at least let him apologize. Plus it was free booze, and she wasn’t going to pass that up. Trender or not.

“Great. I’ll see you at six.” He said with a smile. He gave her a small wave, before turning to step down the porch steps, as Applejak closed the door. A sinister grin crossed his lips as he made is way to his car. Now his plan can come into action.

Spike found himself sitting at the edge of the bar at Berry’s stirring his Shirley Temple idly as he watched enviously as his older friends who were currently on their second cups of various alcoholic drinks talked and laughed. Only five more years. He thought to himself dejectedly. Maybe he could convince Rainbow Dash to give him a sip.

He was used to being left out of the conversation too, since he was younger than everyone else. He usually sat around at a distance from everyone else, playing with his phone or just thinking about things. He didn’t mind it. He was pretty sure he never really wanted to be apart of any of their conversations anyway. He learned his lesson when he was thirteen and they had began a discussion of sex. He couldn’t look any of them in the face for a week.

A roar of laughter caused him to turn his attention to the end of the bar where everyone else was at, a round table in a corner. Apparently Trender had said something funny, and all the girls were laughing. The conversation looked safe enough, so he craned his neck to listen in.

“Man Trender, Applejack was wrong about you! You’re an okay guy!” Rainbow Dash said, clapping him on the back. “She had us thinking you were some creepy nerd or something!”

Trender coughed from the force of the girl’s hit. “No, no, she was right. I was being very creepy. I promised her that I would never ever look at her the way I did back then ever again.” He smiled at Applejack, who weakly smiled in return. He then turned to Rarity, and took one of her hands, kissing it. “And I believe an apology is in need for you, Miss Rarity. I treated you terribly, and I’m truly sorry.”

Rarity produced a giggle snort that would have been severely embarrassing had she not been in the company of friends. “Oh, Trender, you’re too kind!” She cooed.

Spike swerved around in his seat and made a gagging sound. Give him a break. That was the most painful thing he’s had to watch since the time Twilight showed him the video of how babies were born. But still...he hadn’t personally met Trender, he had only heard what had happened from Twilight and the others. Something about the guy had been off to him in the first place, and it wasn’t just because Rarity had been crushing on him. Trender gave Spike the heeby-jeebies.

He turned around again to keep a close eye on him, when he saw him pick something out of his pocket. It was a small round glass bottle that had some kind of magenta liquid in it. Spike squinted to look even more closely to see that it was a bubbling concoction that obviously wasn’t liquor. No, it looked like something straight out of Zecora’s hut.

Spike watched as Trender made sure to keep everyone’s attentions away from him- Especially Applejack- as he opened the bottle and poured the contains of it into her mug of beer. The mysterious liquid disappeared, making it look like nothing even happened.

Spike jumped up, fists clenched. How dare he do something like that to Applejack! What exactly was that anyway?! A rape drug?! He stomped over to the table only to gasp in horror as Applejack took a long gulp of her beer. “Applejack wait!” He said, hand outstretched.

The older women whipped the foam off her upper lip with her arm and started at the boy curiously. “What? What’s wrong?” She asked.

Spike’s ears burned as he realized everyone’s eyes were on him. “I-I uh, nevermind.” He grumbled, going back over to his seat at the bar. He couldn’t just come out and say that he saw Trender put something in her drink. They’d thought he was crazy. Especially with the way everyone was all cozied up to him. He’d just have to sit back and watch from the side lines, and make sure that nothing happened to Applejack.

About an hour, (And three Shirley Temples later) Nothing seemed to have happened to Applejack except for the fact that each passing minute she was getting progressively flirty with Tender by the minute. At first, Spike thought he was seeing things, until she had rested her head on his shoulder. The gesture hadn’t gone unnoticed by everyone at the table, but he assumed everyone was too buzzed to even care. He tuned in as Applejack opened her mouth to say something.

“Ya know Trender,” She said, her words a bit slurred. “Ah was wrong about you. Yer a nice fella. We should go on a date sometime. Just you and me?” She said, hopefully, looking up into his eyes.

Spike’s mouth was on the floor. Okay, that was not normal Applejack behaviour. Not only would Applejack never give Trender the time of day, she would never, ever cling to someone like that. Applejack was not clingy. He guessed it must have been something to do with her being drunk, or it could have something to do with whatever was in her drink. He made a mental note to talk to Twilight about it when they got home.

“Well, I’d better get home,” Twilight announced, as if on cue. “Spike must be getting sleepy.” Spike rolled his eyes. He wasn’t a kid. It was just ten o'clock too. He’s stayed up longer than that before. But he was glad they were leaving, now he could talk to Twilight about what he had seen.

Once they were home and he hand helped her though the door, he sat her down on her bed and began babbling like an idiot. “Look, I know you might think what I’m about to say sounds crazy, but seriously I don’t think that Trender guy has changed for the better. I think he’s planning something.”

Twilight drank from a bottle of water from the fridge he had handed her earlier. “What on earth are you talking about?” She asked, popping two aspirins into her mouth before taking another gulp.

Spike gave her a wide eyed look. “I think Trender put something in Applejack’s drink that made her all lovey dovey with him. I mean, you were sitting right there! Didn’t you see the looks she started giving him after a while?!”

Twilight stared at her assistant. “Spike, are you okay?”

Spike gripped at the sides of his green hair. “Yes, I’m fine! Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?! Trender drugged Applejack We have to go back and get her before he does something bad to her!”

Twilight let out a laugh. “Oh Spike, don’t be silly. Trender changed for the better. You saw how nice he was being to everyone. Why would he try to drug her with everyone sitting right there? He couldn’t get away with it.” She said, waving her hand at the teenager dismissively. “Go to bed or something. You might have just been seeing things.”

“Seeing things?!” He repeated, his voice raising an octave. “I don’t just imagine people drugging our friends out of the blue, Twilight! Trender put something in Applejack’s drink, and if you’re not going to help me find out, I’m going to find out myself!” He stomped out of her room and into his and slammed his door.

He flopped face down on his bed and sighed, suddenly feeling extremely tired. He would find out what’s going on. He vowed he would. Just as soon as he got some sleep.

When he woke it was morning, but that’s not what woke him. What woke him was the shrill shriek of six women. Stumbling groggily down the stairs two at a time, he made it into the middle of the library where all of the girls were situated at, oohing and aahing at something on Applejack’s finger. Getting close enough (and having had rubbed some of the sleep out of his eyes) Spike learned in horror what exactly they had been so excited about.

Right there, on Applejack’s finger was a diamond. “What?” He mumbled out loud to himself as the women around him ignored his presence to continue looking at the ring. He gripped at his hair in frustration as he ran back up stairs. Was that....was that a wedding ring?! That was a wedding ring! It was right there on Applejack’s finger! Did Trender propose?! Applejack wasn’t the marrying type! Spike banged his head on the wall in the hallway. Okay, he seriously wasn't seeing things. And he was definitely going to get to the bottom of this.

Spike grumbled to himself sitting on a stool as everyone bustled about in Rarity’s boutique. Apparently, Trender did propose to Applejack, and wanted to get married as soon as possible. Rarity was busy making everyone’s dresses so she couldn’t talk, Twilight still wouldn’t believe him so she was out of the question, Rainbow Dash was scarce since she hated anything that had to do with dresses and “girly things” as she put it, Pinkie Pie was busy planning the reception, and Fluttershy was well, Fluttershy. The only one that left was the bride-to-be herself, Applejack.

“Hey, Applejack, can I talk to you?” He asked as she walked passed him.

“Oh sure, Spike, what’s up?” She asked back, putting a hand on her hip.

“Uh, I meant, alone.” He clarified.

The farmer was taken aback by the request, but complied. “Yeah,” She answered, following him out of the boutique and outside. “So what’s up?” She asked, crossing her arms.

Spike studied her. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. So what exactly did he do to her? “Have you uh, been feeling alright?” He asked, giving her a suspicious look.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Uh, yea, why?”

“Well I saw Trender slip something in your beer yesterday. And after that, you’ve been acting really friendly with him when before then you wouldn’t even look at him. I mean you’re getting married to the guy when the day before yesterday you couldn’t even stand him.” Spike pointed out.

“Oh I see,” Applejack said, putting her hands on her hips.

Spike threw his hands in the air. “Thank you!”

“You’re afraid that me getting married will break up the group dynamic.” Applejack finished, crossing her arms again.

Spike threw his hands down. “What?! No! That’s not-”

Applejack held up her hand to stop him. “Nup. It’s okay. Twilight already told me. Why don’t you go do something fun to get your mind off things huh?” She suggested, giving him a hearty pat on the back before walking back inside.

Punching a nearby tree, Spike knew that there was only one person in the world who could help him now.

By the time Spike got to Zecora’s hut, it was nearly time for the wedding. He knocked on the door quickly, and apologized when she opened it to see him so red in the face.

“Spike, are you alright?” She asked as she helped him sit down. She went to her fridge and got him a bottle of water which he gladly took. Zecora sat down across from him and gave him a worried look as he spoke.

“I ran all the way here because something is going on,” He panted. “You see, this Trender guy came back into town after leaving from before, and he said he was good and he wasn’t trying to get with Applejack anymore but I saw him drop some pink-purple looking stuff into her drink yesterday and now she went from hating him to the point where she wants to get married with him! I mean, that doesn’t just happen naturally!” Spike finished, taking another gulp of water. “And no one believes me!”

“Pink-purple you say? I know exactly what is making things go affray.” She answered him, getting up to flip through one of the books that lined her hut. She pointed to a page in the book that had a picture of a bottle that looked exactly like the one Trender had they day before. “This is the potion that is causing all of the commotion. Lover’s Brew. One sip, and the victim falls helplessly in love with you.”

“I knew it wasn’t my imagination!” Spike declared to himself. “Is there an antidote? One that can permanently reverse the spell?”

“There is one way to reverse this intoxication, but it does come with a complication.” Zecora responded, her eyebrows furrowing. “The person cursed will keep their lips pursed. So someone who loves them most, must save the host.”

“I-I have to pour it into her mouth?!” Spike shouted, pointing to himself.

Zecora nodded. “You must do it quick, because if her and the man she is enchanted to kiss, she will forever stay like this.” She began plucking the ingredients she needed off her shelves and set them on the table, giving Spike an expectant look.

Spike gave her a determined one. “Okay,” He said gulping, “I’ll do it.”

By the time Spike made it back to the wedding was already underway. He ran as fast as he could to the library. (Trender wanted it to be a small event and Spike was beginning to see why.) He bursted into the library with the antidote in his hand.

Everyone gasped.

“Spike? Where were you?” Twilight asked confused.

“Zecora’s hut. But that’s not important.” He responded, waving her question off. “What’s important is that Trender gets exposed for the scumbag he is!”

“What on earth are you talking about, Spikey-Wikey?” Rarity asked.

Spike put a hand to his chin. “I’m glad you asked that, Rarity. You see, remember how I said that Trender had slipped something in Applejack’s drink? Well it turned out to be a potion called Lover’s Brew. And I have the antidote right here!” He held up a small test tube like bottle that has a glowing green liquid in it. “Anything you have to say for yourself, Trender?” He asked, glaring at the man.

“You’re kidding me right? Is this some kind of prank? You see the way Applejack looks at me! How could she possibly be under a spell?!” He demanded, pounding his chest.

Spike smirked. “Easy.” He answered with a smirk. He produced a second bottle from his pocket, one that was empty. “I had went to Berry’s on the way to Zecora’s and found this wedged between the seat of the booth you all were sitting at.” His grin grew. “And right where Trender had been sitting. As you can see it’s empty, but watch this,” He threw the bottle on the ground and it broke; the remaining residue from the potion creating a pink puff of smoke shaped like a heart for a moment, before quickly disappearing.

Everyone gasped again.

“Zecora told me about that. She said if there’s enough left of a potion in the bottle, the remaining stuff would make the shape of what it originally was. And Lover Boy here, had failed to dispose of the evidence.”

Everyone turned to Trender.

“He’s a teenager! What does he know!” He barked.

“A lot, considering he outsmarted you!” Twilight told him, shaking her fist at him. She gave Spike a hug. “I’m sorry, Spike, I should have believed you when you first told me.”

The others nodded in agreement.

“It doesn’t matter now!” Trender shouted, disturbing the happy moment. “Because once I kiss Applejack, she’ll be mine forever!” He said, laughing maniacally.

Spike gave him a weird look. “Whoa. Dude, chill.” He ran up to Applejack, who did exactly what Zecora said she would do. She pursed her lips and refused to let Spike give her the antidote. “C’mon Applejack! You know that you don’t love him! Just open wide, and drink the antidote!”

“Ah ain’t openin’ my mouth!” Applejack said, trying to push the younger boy off.

Spike had an idea and began to tickle Applejack. The farmer opened her mouth and Spike swiftly poured it down her throat. Applejack took a step back and coughed.

Everyone watched intently as she looked around the room. “Uh, someone wanna tell me why Ah’m in a fancy weddin’ dress?” She asked, looking around confused. “And why is everyone all dressed up? What’s goin’ on?”

“Applejack, you’re back!” Spike shouted, hugging her.

“Back? What do you mean by back?” The blonde asked, looking at Trender expectantly. “Someone wanna tell me what the hay is going on?” She asked again, folding her arms.

“Trender roofied you and then you fell in love with him and almost married him!” Spike explained quickly.

The angry look that developed on Applejack’s face could make any macho man wet himself. “Is that so?” She asked, taking a step forward making Trender took a step back. She grinned. “Twilight? Get my rope.

“Thank you, Spike for saving me back there.” Applejack said after she had chased Trender all the way out of Ponyville. “If it weren’t for you I’d’ve been married and still under that stupid spell.”

“Aw, shucks, it was nothing.” Spike responded humbly. “You’re my friend and I know you would do the same for me.”

“Yea, you’re right about that.” Applejack chuckled. “Say, how about Ah take you out for your first beer?”

“R-Really?” Spike asked, his eyes glowing with excitement.

“Sure.” Applejack ruffled his hair. “Just don’t tell Twilight alright?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah!”

Author's Note

Just something I wrote for someone on Derpibooru. Don't take it too seriously. As always, Like, comment, and I will see you guys in a few days with Rainbow Dash's Secret.