Twilight Sparkle and the Bearded Menace

by ValdimarGreen

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 1648

Starswirl the Bearded has come to Ponyville and Twilight is overjoyed. This time, she isn't going to mess things up.

After the events in the past, Twilight can't help feeling dejected. She would never see Starswirl again. Or at least, that's what she thought right before he came knocking at her door. Meanwhile, in the past, a still somewhat immature Celestia is desperately trying to find a way to deal with the unfolding catastrophe. Luckily, her spymaster is always there, ready to lend a helping hoof.

Author's Note:
See what you made me do! I hope you are all happy... because this can't end well.
Also, you can't really read this without reading the previous story.
Full credits to Sorrowfulwinds for the title name.

Published 2014-09-24 19:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-24 19:20:11 UTC

Surprises

* The Present *

“Twilight, it’s time to wake up,” Spike said as he tugged at the blanket she was hiding under.

Twilight ignored the annoying reptile, she didn’t feel like getting up today. Starswirl was gone, having travelled somewhere in time without telling her where. She would probably never see him again. Twilight pulled the blanket tighter in around herself. “Go away, Spike.”

Spike tugged at the blankets again, “Come on Twilight! You can’t just sleep all morning.”

Starswirl slept all morning, Twilight thought while trying to hold back the pang of sadness welling up inside her.

“I could go make you some coffee if you like,” Spike said.

Twilight grimaced, Me and Starswirl used to have coffee together.

“Go away Spike, you’re only making it worse.”

“Making it worse? Making what worse? ...Twilight? Hello? Equestria to Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight squeezed her pillow hard and teleported to one of the many other bedrooms in her castle. It would take Spike at least another ten minutes to find her again.

Twilight lay on her back in the new bed and stared up at the crystalline ceiling. She missed Starswirl so much. To think that she would never get to sit down with him and discuss magic theory ever again. Twilight grimaced and felt a single tear trickling down from the corner of her eye. “I really messed this one up...didn’t I?” Twilight said, her voice cracking slightly. There was no response. She grabbed her pillow and pressed it over her face, then screamed into it.

Despite muffeling the sound with the pillow, it had been loud enough for Spike to hear. The door to the chamber cracked open and the dragon popped his head in. “Come on Twilight, It can’t be that bad.”

Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?! Still hugging the pillow, Twilight rolled over and glared at the little dragon. “It IS that bad, Spike,” she replied before rolling away again. “It’s like if you found out that Rarity had exploded.” Twilight flung her forehooves out, mimicking an expanding explosion, “BOOM!”

There was a loud gasp from Spike, “That bad?”

“Yes, Spike. That bad.” she replied.

“Oh,” Spike shifted uncertainly, “So you're not holding court today? There are already ponies at the door that wanna talk to you.”

Twilight groaned loudly, “Already?”

Spike nodded.

Grumbling, Twilight rolled out of the bed and trotted past Spike, leaving the room. She began moving towards the front doors. She would just tell them court was canceled today. And if they asked why, she could just say something about having to deal with another threat to Equestria. Then she could get back to her misery.

Stopping in front of the huge double doors Twilight rubbed at her face, Okay...here I go.

Twilight grabbed one of the doors with her magic and swung it open, “Sorry, but the c–” Twilight's jaw dropped open, her eyes going wide.

Starswirl the Bearded looked back at her, his expression annoyed, “You know Twilight Sparkle, I have been in this town for half an hour and I’m already having second thoughts about this whole thing.”

“Whaaaaa?” Twilight said.

Starswirl nudged his head back the way he had come, “Just walking through town square, there was this orange pony who gave me an apple with a worm in it. When she realized what she had done, she became all panicky and insisted that I take a hundred apples as an apology. And naturally, I told her I didn’t want a hundred worm apples.”

Twilight worked her jaw silently as her mind tried to recover.

“And for some reason, this seemed to upset her more,” Starswirl continued, confusion evident in his voice, “I mean, who would want a hundred worm apples? Would you want a hundred worm apples, Twilight?”

“Eeehhaa?” Twilight said.

“Exactly!” Starswirl replied, “Anyway, the farm pony was basically crying by that point and begging me to wait there while she ran home and got me a barrel of fresh apple cider. Naturally, I was going to tell her no, but before I could, guess what happens!”

“What?” Twilight asked, not sure if she was questioning Starswirl or the whole situation.

“A little filly tackled me to the ground” – Starswirl turned his body sideways so Twilight could see the dirt covering his right side – ”and began screaming about not allowing anypony being mean to her sister. Then it just went downhill from there.”

At this point, Twilight had recovered enough to be able to formulate herself, “W-Why are you here?”

“I was planning on moving here... But as I said, I’m not so sure anymore.“

“Wait, moving here? Like in... moving here? Into my castle...with me?” Twilight asked, feeling herself blush.

“What? No, of course not.” Starswirl said, “I wouldn't want to be a bother. I was planning to rebuild my tower on the outskirts of town somewhere.”

”Oh it won't be a bother!” Twilight said quickly, “I have more rooms than I know what to do with!”

Starswirl still looked doubtful, so Twilight played her trump card. “The whole first floor is a library,” she said, a small grin playing over her features. Her smile widened when she saw Starswirl’s ears perk up at that nugget of information.

“Is it now?” Starswirl asked slowly.

Twilight giggled, “It is.”

* The Past *

“Please report,” Celestia said, trying to ignore the chocolate roof and the padded walls of her throneroom. With supreme effort she even managed to ignore the pair of giant tomatoes that were rolling down the hall while shouting insults left and right.

“Chamberlain, please report!” Celestia repeated.

Her chamberlain jumped, turning his gaze back to his princess and away from the very inventive tomatoes. “Eeehhmm, Well, the Mayor of Grassyhill said, and I quote, ’We are doomed! Run to the hills! Run for your lives!’”

Celestia waves a dismissive hoof, the Grassyhillers had always been a bunch of sissies. “What about the Mayor of this town, Miss... Well Spring?”

Her chamberlain’s face showed no hint of emotion as he replied,“She has climbed up into a tree and refuses to come down...”

“We… see,” Celestia said, biting her lip. “Do we know what is causing this yet?” She wasn’t certain, but she had a suspicion that Starswirls research was involved somehow. The timing had been too good. She had given Clover the Clever her orders, then not a day later, madness had begun erupting everywhere.

“No, Your Highness. Except for a few ponies who claimed to have seen a strange creature, we have nothing.”

Celestia frowned, “What are our spies doing?”

“Are you talking about, Oregano? Your old SPICE-master that you demoted to special agent?” her chamberlain asked before shrugging, “Probably running around in a panic like everypony else?”

Celestia frowned, “Well... find out. We dislike it when–”

“PRINCESS!” a voice called out from the other end of the room.

Celestia looked up, “Clover, it is about time you showed up. What happened with Starswirl’s research?”

The little pink coated filly walked up and bowed deep, her purple mane falling down over her face. “I’m so sorry Princess, this is all my fault, I couldn't stop Uncle Swirly.” The small unicorn trembled slightly and sniffed. “I failed you.”

“It’s okay, Clover,” Celestia said gently “Don’t cry. Just tell us what happened.”

“Well…” Clover said, looking up “I had to dig my way in since Uncle Swirly had warded all my usual entrances.” Celestia nodded and Clover continued, “So when I finally broke through and made my way up to his study it was too late. Uncle Swirly was mixing the alicorn magic with some darkblue and red bubble magic.”

Celestia stiffened in her seat and her eyes narrowed. Starswirl what have you done?

The young spymaster shifted nervously, “I tried to stop him, I really did. But that purple one held me down. She said it was for science and that you Celestia wouldn't understand cause you were such a bore.”

Celestia stomped a hoof indignantly, “I’m not a bore! I have a wonderful sense of humor.”

Her chamberlain looked away.

“Anyway,” Clover continued, “There was a big WOOOEHF sound and the magic came alive and turned into this weird looking monster. And the purple one told it that it’s name was Discord and that it was the Lord of Chaos. Then it turned Uncle Swirly’s tower into a banana.

“A banana?” Celesta asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, a banana!” Clover replied with a big smile.

Celestia eyed Clover, “You’re not lying to us are you Clover? This is all the complete truth? This monster...Discord is behind it all? And Starswirl created it?”

Clover put a hoof to her chest in outrage, “Me, lie? I’m the spymaster. A spymaster wouldn't lie. Besides why would Uncle Swirly run away is he wasn't guilty?”

Celestia nodded, that made sense. “We are sorry Clover, We just had to be sure.”

The little filly grinned, “It’s okay! Unlike Uncle Swirly, I’m still here to help! Just tell me what to do.”

Celestia smiled at that. “Actually We have a task for you in mind. We wish you to go out and find this monster and study it. Learn as much as you can, then return and tell us everything.”

“Yes, Princess,” Clover replied as she bowed, “You can trust me.”

Celestia followed Clover with her gaze as the little filly made her way out of the throne room. Such a sweet little pony.

“Is this really okay, Your Highness?” her chamberlain asked.

“What?”

“Your Highness, just sent a small child to investigate a strange new monster...” her chamberlain clarified.

Celestia waved a dismissive hoof, “She’ll be alright. What’s the worst that can happen?”

The unicorn at the base of her throne grimaced, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Author's Note

And here we are again. The ride never ends.