"Dear Lisa..."

by The Informant

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Dark, Sad, Tragedy
Length: 5805

A man seeking to discover immortality accidentally turns himself into monster. His story is told through a series of letters he wrote to his wife, Lisa.

"Everything has gone so wrong. I don't even know where to start…"

A man seeking to discover immortality accidentally turns himself into monster. His story is told through a series of letters he wrote to his wife, Lisa.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-29 05:34:37 UTC

Part I

Dear Lisa,

It has been forever since we last spoke, almost feels like months doesn't it? Well, I suppose me being stuck in a lab 24-7 tends to make such terrible things happen. But on the bright side, I am going to have a day off pretty soon. I know, unbelievable right? Me? Having a day off? Blasphemy! Pretty much all I have to do finish up this one project, draw conclusions, and I will be free this next Friday. Pinkie Promise!

Well, I was going to end the letter there, but then I decided that it was wrong to just end the letter with a measly single paragraph. So I decided that I will tell you what has been keeping me from you for the past few weeks, I figured that you would be interested in what was keeping your husband occupied... Wait, what was that? You don't!? Well, too bad, I am telling you anyways! *insert mad scientist laugh*

Okay, now where was I? Oh right, "The boring sciencey stuff," simplified for your understanding! I've been working on a project that involves expanding the lifespan of everyone on this planet indefinitely. That is right! I am playing GOD!!! Heh heh heh, no, not really, but close. Pretty much I am developing a chemical cocktail that, when ingested, should extend the lifespan of pretty much anyone by ten or more years. Yeah, it may not literally make you immortal, but it is one step closer to our ascendance into greater beings. I know, it really sounds something a mad scientist would say, but it is true. If I can perfect this cocktail, we can become something much greater. This cruel world can be a place with at least a little less loss...

Anyhow, I love you babe and I'll see you next Friday. Again, Pinkie Promise.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Hey... I know it is Friday and I am pretty sure you are wondering where the hell I am with your flowers right now, but to make a long story short I am currently in a quarantined room surrounded by men in HAZMAT Suits. Now before you freak out, let me explain what happened. I was in the lab with my colleagues working on that little project that I was talking to you about in my last letter. We were doing a simple test with a chimpanzee when the little bastard took the sample and threw it into my face. (I guess he didn't appreciate being used a ginnie pig.) At that point, everyone in the lab panicked and hit the alarm despite my insistence that everyone calmed down. So, as a result of this chaos, the lab was quarantine and here I am writing this letter to you.

It is nothing serious or anything to be worried about, the quarantine is a standard procedure for those who are exposed to untested substances. It is only a precaution so that they can make sure that we didn't accidentally make a weaponized virus or toxin, and that what I was exposed to isn't lethal to humans and/or contagious. I am certain neither are the case and this a huge waste of my time, but that is life I guess...

Now, don't think I canceled paying you a visit today because of this inconvenience, I will simply be later then I usually am. I will be out of this quarantine within a few hours after they run all their pointless tests and I will come to spend some time with you as soon as I arrive. I know can't break a Pinkie Promise, even if it kills me.

Alright babe, I'll see you in a few hours. Hope your restless soul can survive without me until then.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Well, a few things I need to address in this letter. First, sorry that my last Friday's visit had to be so brief, you know as well as I do that when work calls, I have to leave. I was hoping that I had more time, but I guess that my work still needed that time. I'll try to get my boss to give me more time off this next Sunday, since he was the one who rudely interrupted my visit with that phone call.

The second thing I wanted to address was that I feel like utter crap, and for the past few days it has been getting worse and worse. I don't feel sick, I don't feel ill, I just feel extremely tired and depressed. I've been getting 8 hours of sleep everyday, I am not under any sort of stress, and am still eating enough to keep myself healthy, but I still feel like just the opposite. I feel like I should be happy and energized, I've have a great life, a great job, you, and everything I could ever want. However, I am only feeling sad and in the dumps.

I have a singular explanation for this, but... it's ridiculous. I really have no reason to believe that whatever I put into that life extending cocktail combined into something that sends people into depression, but then again I have no real reason to rule it out either. If this is a side effect of my serum my team needs to know, so that we can make corrections, but if it is not I just waste their valuable time and research funds over my emotional issues. I suppose, if it continues to get worse, I'll... Really, I actually have no idea what I am going to do.

The third thing I want to... well, not really address, more like "Scream for help!" What do you think I should do, Lisa? Should I just assume this problem is a side effect and tell the team about it, or ignore it and hope that, like every side effect, that it will eventually go away? And what if it isn't a side effect, and this is really my own emotional problems, what do I do then? What would you do if you were here instead of me?

Heh, I really don't expect you to answer me, but I could really use some help here... please?

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Sorry, I know, it has been a week since I wrote you last, but I am happy to say that I am feeling much, MUCH better. The depression is pretty much gone, along with my lack of energy, once again I feel very much alive. Now, who do I have to thank for that? Well, let's just say that my colleagues noticed how much of a bum I had been becoming and decided to cheer me up with a puppy.

Yup, a goddamned puppy, I guess my colleagues didn't know as well as you do that I DESPISE dogs! I swear the moment I saw that little runt I wanted to strangle him and then my colleagues for even thinking that a puppy was a good idea. But then, surprisingly, the moment that big bundle of furry energy hopped up on my lap, all my depression and lack of energy was gone. All of it, just replaced by overwhelming joy and more energy than I could have imagined. I could swear, I was just as happy and energetic as that goddamn puppy was, never have I felt so happy in my life. I guess don't despise dogs as much as I thought I did. I think I am going to name him Max, you know, for maximum energy!

Anyhow, in other good news, we've been making good progress on the cocktail and are possibly close to a breakthrough. All the chimpanzee tests, the ones not involving untested serum in my face, have been highly successful. The chimps are healthier and more active without any sort of negative effects. I know only time will tell whether or not this will improve their lifespan, but I am confident that it will work!

Oh, and my boss finally giving me a day off Wednesday so I can come and visit you, and perhaps introduce you to Max, I'll see you then babe!

Your Significantly Happier, Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Things have been... strange as of lately. And, well, I am not entirely sure how I feel about that.

It all started at the beginning of this week. I arrived at work a few minutes late, not really a big deal, it was because I was caught in traffic. However, one of my colleagues, the only one there, decided it was a big deal. The moment I walked in, he gave me a nasty look and then called me a "lazy asshole" before returning to his work. I, confused about what I did to deserve such a insult, decided to ask why he just called me that. He responded with confusion, claiming that he never said a thing and asked where the hell I got that from. Gaining more questions than answers, I let the matter drop and tended to my own work, no one else came in that day.

The next day I came in, I felt like I walked into a room full of strangers. All my colleagues were here this time, but looked like they spent an entire week wide awake and were extremely irritable. For the entire day, my colleagues shot snide comments and nasty insults at one another as they worked. A few were even shot at me, but I did nothing to encourage them to continue and they just left me alone. By the end of the day, It had gotten so bad to the point where they looked upon the verge of throwing punches at each other. I swear, if any of them had spent another hour in the lab with each other...

I believe they might just be stressed with the whole workload we have, so I am going to have a word with my boss tomorrow to see if I could get them a vacation. They definitely need one, and before they start ripping each other's throats out.

Anyhow, besides for my colleague's irrational and childish behavior. The "Immortality Serum", as we are calling it now, has had nothing but positive results, we have even begun human trials. Yeah, I know, seems a bit sudden, but the chimps had yet to have any sort of negative side effects of any kind and are still extremely healthy over the month we've tested them. Because of the positive results of these tests, we have been approved to begin human trials. It is exciting really, like an impossible dream finally coming true...

Well, enough of that. I have another day off this upcoming Friday, me and Max will be seeing you then. Love you.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Something is wrong, very, very, VERY wrong! Max, he... he had been acting strange, overly aggressive towards other people and pets, always tired and lacking the energy any normal puppy his age would have huge abundance of, and just... plain unhappy. I couldn't tell if it was something I was doing, not feeding him enough, not giving him enough water, not paying enough attention to him, I just DIDN'T KNOW!!! I took him to multiple vets, they told me there was nothing wrong with him! And now, just a couple of weeks ago, he just fell over and died. Just like that, no reason, no explanation or cause of death. He was there and then he was... gone.

Right after his death, the emptiness, lack of energy, and the depression came back with a big freaking vengeance. I figured that it was the loss of Max getting to me, but then something else started happening a week after his death. This... itch, all over body, although minor at first has been getting worse and worse everyday, I had to call in sick today because it has gotten so bad. I... I have a feeling that this isn't just a psychological episode over losing Max, I think this might be a side effect to the immortality serum.

It would explain it all this completely, I didn't want to believe it before, but it has become so apparent that I simply cannot ignore it any longer. We, I, Max, the team, we ALL have had the same side effects, mine starting after being exposed to the immortality serum. I am not sure what changed with me to suppress my side effects for awhile or how Max and my team got exposed in the first place, but goddamn it doesn't make a difference now! I have to call a stop to the human testing and get us all a diagnosis, before someone possibly gets hurt! It is the first thing I will do tomorrow, itch or not, I need to bring a stop to this before it all gets out of hand.

God, do I hope I am wrong about all this, for all our sake. I'll make sure to stop by for a visit before I go through with this, because there is a high possibility we won't see each other for awhile if I do this. Anyways, I need to rest up, I'll see you before I go tomorrow, Pinkie Promise. I love you babe.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I... Everything has gone so wrong. I don't even know where to start... I woke up this morning and... Well, lets just say that I am not in any shape to go to work today. Something terrible has happened to me, just not entirely sure what. I think I might be losing my mind here, I am sure this is all a extremely bad dream. Right? I mean, I couldn't possibly... there is no way I was just transformed into this monster over night, right?

Yeah, I am sure you are probably extremely confused right about now, but I am just as much. I woke up this morning in a body that wasn't mine, in the body of some deformed indescribable monstrosity formed from nightmarish fuel. My entire body looks like that it has been burned alive, my limbs look as if they were made into swiss cheese and formed resemble disfigured stumps, my torso is covered in a natural thick chitin armor, my face... oh god my face... a soulless, emotionless creature with razor sharp fangs and glowing blue eyes. What the hell am I?

My appearance, its... not the worst of it either. I should feel shocked, dismayed, horrified, afraid even, but I feel... Nothing. Nothing at all, not even that horrid depression that I had since Max died. I don't feel happiness, I don't feel love, I don't feel saddness, I don't feel anger, I don't even have the luxury of fear. It is as if I am emotionally dead. The only thing I seem to have left is my memories and my rationalization, as significant as that is.

This... this has to be a dream. That is the only explanation I can come up with, it is the only thing that would make sense. If I go to sleep now, I should wake up in my bed my normal old depressing self. I don't want to be like this any longer, it doesn't feel right... at least I don't think it does... Regardless! I have to go to sleep, I have to wake up from this nightmare. When I wake, this letter will not exist, I will be back in my own body, and I will go to work and put a stop to our research. Everything is going to be okay.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Everything is NOT okay! Everything is so FAR from okay! I don't think anything will EVER be okay again! Why did I ever make that goddamned mother fucking serum! It has done nothing but bring pain and suffering into my life and now it has finally succeeded in FUCKING IT ALL UP!

Why did you have to leave me, Lisa? Huh? Why did you get sick? Why did you have to leave me in this horrible death infested world!? A world where people always die, a world where people simply cannot live life without 1000 different methods of slitting each other's throats, a world that cannot survive without heartbreak and misery!

I did everything I could for you! I tried my hardest to keep you with me as long as possible, BUT NO, everything I did only succeeded in pushing you farther away faster! Why couldn't have you just stuck with me a little bit longer, why couldn't have you fought a little harder and bought me time to help you!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE ON ME YOU SELFISH BITCH!!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU I WOULDN'T BE HERE, STUCK IN GODDAMNED THIS MONSTER!!!

WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I'm sorry, I am so fucking sorry! I didn't mean any of it I swear! I was just... so angry. I needed to vent, but I know I should have never had release my anger on you. You didn't deserve it, you didn't deserve any of it! It was all my fault and I know it!

I know it was all my fault that I wasn't there for you, I know it was my fault that I wasn't giving you all my love and attention, I know it was my fault that you died that day. I was so busy trying to save you by researching that serum, I forgot that you needed me more than you needed to be saved. I only ended up killing you faster by leaving you alone and... I am so sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone, I should had been with you.

I'm so sorry, please forgive me.

Your Extremely Regretful Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I guess you would want to know why I flipped out as bad as I did, so I guess I might as well tell you. As my condition continued to worsen, I ended up telling them to cancel the project and to keep an eye of the subjects. Over the phone, of course, I logically assumed any sane security guard would have shot me dead if I had tried to show up personally looking like... well, this... To be honest, I couldn't blame them, especially after what I just did... I only hope that they took my warning seriously, because I am not going to be able to give them another one.

When I called, I guess they must have noticed that I don't exactly sound like myself anymore. One of my colleagues ended up coming over to see if I was okay. Things didn't go very well... When he came through the door using a key under my doormat, some alien instinct within my mind turned on and I... couldn't control myself any longer. The moment he was inside I jumped him and bit into his jugular vein, he never saw it coming...

Within seconds I drained him of any life he had, leaving him a bleeding, brain dead corpse in the front of my door. My once numb emotions came back in time for me to go into shock as I realized what I had done, just in time for me to scream, just in time for me to lose it completely and write that hurtful letter.

And that was how I figured it out, Max, the team, neither were ever exposed. I was the only one, the goddamned monkey who threw the serum in my face. It was the exposure that turned me into what I am now, and what I am now is a emotion vampire. Just by the mere act of being near another living being I am constantly draining their energy and slowly killing them, all for the sake of feeding myself, as well as making it so I can feel emotion. It is why Max died, it is why the team was falling apart, it is why one of them is dead now. I cannot live without emotional energy, I starve and die without it. In the past few days I had come extremely close to dying, the emotional deafness was a side effect. If I had not killed my friend for his energy, I probably would be dead now. Too bad, dying probably would have been the better side of the deal at this point.

I am not sure you will ever forgive me for what I said, but that is my excuse. Pathetic, I know, but it is what I have. At the moment, you are all I have left. If you leave me now, I am not sure what I will do. Please, I need you. Please, will you forgive me?

Your Sorry Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I can't stay here anymore. I have to leave this... our house, this place can no longer be my safe haven. I am sure someone heard my horrid disfigured scream the moment after I killed my colleague and called the police. Even if they didn't and I continued to hide here, it wouldn't be long until they sent someone else to see what happened to the both of us, and I don't want to risk hurting anyone else. I have to leave, now.

I am not sure where I am going to go. Perhaps the woods, where I will become the latest urban legend monster you talk about around campfires to scare little children.  Perhaps the circus, be their sideshow feature of the century. (I can see it now, "The Amazing Emotional Vampire: It Steals Your Feelings!") Or perhaps I can... No. I already promised you that I wouldn't do that, no matter the circumstance. No taking the easy way out, I don't deserve such a luxury anyways.

I suppose I could always just go back to work, explain what happened, and hope for the best, but I think we both know that is an extremely stupid idea. I think that "Go hide in the woods and become urban legend" idea is good enough for a temporary solution, so I think that is what I am going to do, least until I can figure out a way to fix or live with this thing. (Never liked them children anyhow, least I could do is scare the crap out of them.)

I know that thing are probably still not good between us. Surely you are wondering why I am even writing you more letters about my life that you, likely and rightfully, don't care about anymore, but it is really the only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment. You don't have to read them, really. I just need to pretend that you care, alright. I love you, and I always will, I just hope you still feel the same.

I am sneaking my way around town now as I am writing this. Hopefully I can make it to the wood without drawing too much attention. Wish me luck. If you are able to that is.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I've been here in the forest for about a week, god I swear I have not be so lonely in my life. I don't even have any animal friends, almost every single one of those fuckers avoid me like the plague, just as they should. I am currently barely surviving off of the little emotional energy off the animals dumb enough not to stay away. I actually found something interesting about that sort of behavior.

It seems that the very few animals that I accidentally came in contact with over my week here are seemingly unable or unwilling to leave me alone by more than 15 yards. In a way you can say that they are attracted by my presence. I theorize that this body... well, my body now I guess... emits a certain pheromone or frequency that affects an animal's brain and forces it to be attracted by my very presence. Making it so it never wants to leave my side. I don't believe it works on more intelligent beings such as humans, I have been in physical contact with all of colleagues and none seemed obligated to be by my side 24-7 as poor Max did. However, then again, I probably was not trying hard enough. (I hope I never have to find out whether or not it is possible.)

In a way it is like mind control, but extremely limited, are not my little minions here are performing my every deed after all. It is definitely scary in a sense, such a thing could be abused in the wrong hands, but I am thankful for it thus far. I would have starved out and died long ago if I didn't have this ability.

Speaking of things I found out about my body, I have insect wings apparently. Yeah, funny right? I actually never noticed them before a few days after I entered the forest, but they are there and they are definitely working. Man, all the times I crashed trying control the damned things, it would have been quite the thing to watch if you were there. How you would have laughed and tried to cheer me on and such...

Yeah, I'm and idiot. Here I am, pretending one particular letter never existed and that you still have feeling for me. You most likely still hate me, and are currently resenting me for forgetting the hurtful things I said to you... I will make it up to you some how, I Pinkie promise. I promise that I will make up for hurting you so badly. Just remember that I love you and I always will. Okay?

Your loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

Well, it is week 2 now, in this little forest of hell. I now have about 10 ten animal followers, each supplying me with the energy I need to preserve my life at the expense of their own. It has put a load on my conscience, nothing deserves to die like this, but I gotta do what I gotta do to survive. You can't blame me for that right?

I figured out something else about my body, it was interesting, but also very terrifying. It was actually sort of by accident. This horn on my head, which is what I once thought was just a defense mechanism, turns out to be a catalyst for whatever energy or pheromones I use to influence these animals.

Pretty much when I was trying to ward off an extremely annoying deer (who seemed extremely insistent at being in my way all the time) by poking him with my horn and telling him to fuck off, I unintentionally activated my horn and released a blast of green pheromones/energy into the deer. The energy/pheromones (I swear I do not know which it is at this point.) lit up the deer's eyes with a amiss green glow and then the deer obeyed my command. It was kind of cool, but also extremely terrifying. With a few more tests, I confirmed that this was mind control at its finest, and even more terrifying, it could possibly be applied to humans given enough effort.

This new discovery has gotten thinking and very paranoid. I had warned my colleagues and my boss about the possible dangers of the experiment and told them to cancel everything and keep an eye on the subjects. I didn't really consider the fact that the subjects, if they turned, could be of any superior threat a simple guard couldn't handle given fair warning. But given the abilities to control other people... I don't even want to think about what could happen if the subjects decided to turn violent.

I have to warn them, but I have the feeling that it might be already too late. It has been a month since we had started human trials, plenty of time for them to be turned into what I am, but even if I wasn't too late to warn them I cannot go in looking like this. I have to find another way of doing this without putting myself in danger. I could probably pay a quick visit to my house and give them another call, but that is risky considering that I recently committed a crime there, the police would of probably be watching the place from every angle just waiting for me to come home.

There has to be another way of doing this, I just have to figure it out. If only you were here, you would have been able to fix this in an instant. You were always so much more smarter than I when it comes to these things.

Your Loving Husband,

M.C.

***

Dear Lisa,

I just figured out two more things. One involves another ability I discovered that is key for my plan on how I am going to warn my boss about my latest discovery involving mind control, and the other is just a simple conclusion I finally made on whether the green mist from my horn is energy or pheromones.

I will just start off on saying that it is an energy! How is this relevant to my plan? I have absolutely no clue, I just thought it was interesting and satisfying to finally get that mystery out of the way. Now the second thing I found out was that there are quite a few tricks I can use this energy to perform, one which is transformation.

Yep, you heard me right, my body can shape shift to replicate other creatures, including different assortment of animals of relatively equal size and even humans! Now, I am pretty sure you are wondering how I figured this out. Well, it was sort of by accident. You see, it turns out that hikers actually hike in the wood! (Who would have thought!) One particular unlucky bastard had the misfortune of stumbling upon me.

No, I didn't kill him. However, he is probably going to wake up with a rather nasty headache. You see, he never actually saw me coming. To be fair, I didn't actually see him coming either. All I know was that I was practicing using my energy to perform certain tasks, this particular task being attempting an experimental method of using my energy for the first time on one of my animals. As I prepared to fire off the energy required for this to work, the bastard stepped right in front of my intended target. (I was not sure exactly what he was doing, but he ended up becoming the test subject instead.) The energy I fired off hit him, surrounded his body, and quickly retreated back to my horn. The unintended test subject was then rendered unconscious by means I have yet to discover. (I theorize that the energy had something to do with it.) Afterwards, I found myself transforming into a exact copy of the unconscious man before me.

And that is how I accidentally discovered transformation. (The accidental test subject was left on the nearest hiking trail.

Anyhow, I know, it does sound pretty awesome and make me sound like some sort of super spy out of a bond film. However, this is also a very troubling discovery for me.

It was bad enough to know this creature was capable of mind control, but now they can look like anyone and anything! This is becoming more grim with every discovery, I may have accidentally created and made myself into a creature that surpasses humans in the food chain completely. This could be chaos if I allow this new variant of creatures to thrive. More a reason to see if I could put a stop to this before it gets out of hand.

First thing tomorrow, when I will finally have a good idea on how to use this new ability effectively, I am going to work and see what I could do about warning them and if possible, see about solving the problem.

Your loving husband,

M.C.

***

Twilight read the letters in front of her, trying to suppress the overwhelming excitement and enthusiasm she bared as her eyes scrolled back and forth across the ancient letters from a long lost past. The letters that Twilight was reading so vigorously in front of her now were some of the bounty gained from an from an excavation out in the badlands, found in a airtight vault within a abandoned changeling nest. To some, this was a simple stack of paper, to Twilight however, this was quite possibly the biggest historical find she has seen or heard of.

Twilight put down the letters, unable to read any further into it due to the emotional overload she was experiencing at the moment. The first emotions that Twilight had were of exhilaration and excitement, these thousands of years old letters were a major discovery! Not only was this a potential point of origin for the changeling race, but also was potentially written by a completely unknown species of ancient past! This was beyond any sort of discover anypony has ever made in the entire history of Equestria! Nopony, at least according to every book she has ever read (and she has read A LOT!!), has ever heard of such creatures! What were they exactly!? What did they look like!? How advanced were they!? How was it that they happened to speak and write Equestrian!?

The secondary emotions that hit her were conflicting emotions of pity, sorrow, and a tinge of sadness for what the author of the letters was going through. She could never imagine ever having to undergo such a dramatic change, deal with such loss and loneliness, and life with such regret and self resentment in his life. She could never imagine how to walk within this creature's shoes...

However, what bothered her the most was the conflicting emotions of curiosity, dread, and fear that surrounded one single question.

"What happened to them?"

Though Twilight asked the question, she was, though hesitantly, confident that she already knew the answer... However, Twilight was not about to stop here. There were plenty of letters to go and the story of this ancient creature, M.C., was still incomplete. Despite her reluctance and fear of what she was going to read, fear of the knowledge that may be better kept a secret, she forced herself read on. To completely uncover the story behind M.C., in his apparently hopeless quest to stop the monsters he made, and discover what exactly happened.

With that, Twilight reluctantly flipped to the next letter.