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                      Imploding Colon                      
                   -by Super Trampoline-                   
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             Fifty Ways to Cleave Your Jugular             
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Fifty Ways to Cleave Your Jugular
You try desperately to charge a spell, but the magic richochets off of the bloody stump and
"You're evil!"
""And you're dead."
Or, the infamous imploding colon."
"Imploding colon?" you echo.
"Yes. Crushing your intestines would certainly do the trick. The thing is, it wouldn't be very quick. If I leave you enough water, you might even last a week or two. Why, you could write a whole novel in that time. Except, you know, you're stuck here, where you belong, rotten traitor."
"How... how does one even die from an imploded colon?"
"Oh, I don't know. Internal bleeding, infection, something. It won't be quick, that's for sure. I must say I'm fond of the idea." I announce, and you feel a wave of pressure on your groin.
"Ughhhrkt!" you say, gasping. "Please
"No wife, no children, not even a girlfriend. Why, the griffins will thank me!"
"So, Igor, the question is, how do you want to die?"