My Not So Normal Life

Now you may think taking out the trash is not that hard, well you try living in a house with 3 ponies and a dragon! I go through me muffin and cake mix faster then I can blink! I swear Pinkie and may kitchen are best friends! Oh well time to stop whining and go to classes. “Ok girls I’ll be back in a little while, don’t let Spike destroy the house!”

“Shut up!” I heard him yell, as I was about to close the door Twilight swung it open.

“And you are going?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

“With you! I want to see what you do for learning.” Welp, the school had no rule agents ponies!

“Alright, get in and buckle up.” I walked over to my piece of shit ford truck and unlocked it. Twilight hoped up on the passengers seat and buckled in. “Alright, to the college!” I pointed and hit the gas, scaring the absolute shit out of Twilight! And it was funny! I slowed down when we where down the street, I was laughing my ass off and Twilight had her hoof on her chest.

“Don’t. DO THAT!” She yelled at me. I patted her on the head with a smile.

“Don’t worry Twi, I won’t do it too much!” I laughed some more getting her to glare at me. There was a long silence as we drove, when I got to a stop sign she spoke.

"So, what are your classes like?" She looked at me with a LOT of curiosity.

"Long and boring." I muttered as we took off again.

"To smart ponies that sounds like fun. I wonder what subjects you take." She asked me again without actually asking me.

“I have no clue sometimes, I think I have math and something relating with gravity, I never really go to my classes because I know everything already so they just let me skip.” She gave me a shocked look.

“You skip?! You’ll never learn anything!” She was now glaring at me.

“Like I said they let me do it, I’m too smart for there minds of thinking and stuff like that.” I laughed as I parked. “Now come on, let’s go cause some chaos.” I got out of the car and she followed me with a slight glare, and yes I know the title of the chapter has nothing to do with the actual chapter, suffer! I walked over to the front door and kicked in the door. “Sup!?” I heard some laughs and some ‘woo!’s, then some gasps when Twilight followed behind me.

“Are they scared of me or something?” I shook my head and patted her head.

“Naw, this is a college, they have never seen a pony before.” I walked over to the vending machine and Sparta kicked it, earning me and bag of chips and a mountain dew. “Sweet! I got lucky today! Now let’s get to the roof before the people on the camera get brave and come to scold me.” I picked up Twilight, making her ‘meep’, and bolted over to the stairs.

I can walk on my own you know!” She said stopping me with magic. “You say you’re the smartest yet you act like a kid! I want you to prove to me your smarter-“ I cut her off.

“Then the average bear?” I broke down into laughter making her glare at me, and then she smiled and began to giggle. “Hah! You laughed I’m not in trouble anymore!” I picked her up again. “To the roof!” I shot up the stairs and by the 3rd floor I fell over tired. “You know,” I panted. “You can walk on your own.” She laughed a bit.

“Told you.” I looked up at her.

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice. Now come on we got to meet up with Peter.” I got up and began to walk up the stairs again.

“Peter, that’s where Dash, AJ, Rarity, and Fluttershy went to live with right?” She tilted her head at me and I nodded.

“Cause he has a bigger house. He should be here by now.” When we reached the top I pushed open the door and let Twilight through.

“Shit dude you brought Twi with you?” I heard the very familiar voice call.

“Sup Pete?” I walked through the door and to my surprise I saw he brought Fluttershy with him. “Aw dude! We had the same idea, well it was Twi’s that I bring her but why did you bring Shy?” He and I watched Twilight walk over to where Shy was talking to some birds.

“Well I take a vet class so she asked if she could come and learn with me, but that’s not till the afternoon.” I nodded and watched.

“This is going to be a fun day.” I sighed and looked at the sky for a while, watching clouds go by and stuff. I was about to fall asleep when I flash of blinding light filled my vision. “DUDE!” I slapped my hands over my eyes. “THAT HURT! WHO THE HECK DID THAT!” I heard the softest voice I have ever heard.

“Sorry sir Connor.” Hehehe, she called me a sir. “I just wanted to talk to you for a moment.” I let go of my eyes and saw the princess pony herself, Celestia.

“Oh, hi Celestia.” I grinned sheepishly. “Um, what about?” She smiled at me and I turned my head to look at Peter, he had is thumbs up

"I wanted to thank you for convincing your world we were not invading and for looking after a few of my little ponies." Hehehe, she said it.

"Well it's no problem, even if it took a few days to convince full grown men that small colorful ponies weren't a threat." I laughed and rubbed the back of my head.

"Well, as thanks, I would like you to study friendship beside Twilight." I looked at her with wide eyes.

"You mean-" She cut me off with a smile.

"You are another student of mine." I got up, hugged her, and ran over to Peter.

"DUDE! I get to be smarter and learn MORE about friendship!" I gave him a bro hoof and continued to dance around.

"Still haven't proved your smarter then you seem yet." Twilight called. I turned to her with the pure focus and, in 10 minutes, explained all about american history and all I knew about history before that (Everything, Eeyup I'm that smart!). I got wide eyed looks from everypony except Peter, who gave me a high five.

"Nerd."

"Jock."

"Oh, you little shit." He glared at me playfully and clapped. "Well done! I don;t even think Twi knew all of that!" I smiled and looked at Twi, who was deep in shocked thought.

"Impressive eh? Come on I don't need to stick around here, let's head home." I laughed and picked her up, she didn't even stop me as we walked back down the stairs and into my piece of shit truck.

And that's how I became the number two student of princess Celestia. Good night kids!