//-------------------------------------------------------// Granpappy 3: Rising Revengeance, the pre sequel -by Granpappy- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Doorways into the abyss, but they're backwards because of space. //-------------------------------------------------------// Doorways into the abyss, but they're backwards because of space. Scootlalulululul was eating a sanga in a bin with her friends the princesses. But secretly there was no one cos scoots in le beta lel, and porncesses are faggot. But don't worry no ones gay, anyway the skies opened up dramatically as if by swag suddenly and then like a burrito or some shit appeared, no ones gay still. But was burrito kill? Yes don't be ridiculous you absolute Barry twat, the burrito died horribly, and fell to the ground faster than your mum in my car, it exploded and there was salsa and stuff. Suddenly as if by magic scootaloo remembered she was actually a cereal killer and she killed the princesses and made them dead, then she teleported to a place somewhere I guess. Meanwhile, Swimmingly was off somewhere being a Mary Sue and filing her nails and gossiping about hunky boys. Swimmingly is so powerful, that the spacing changed due to lacking amounts of toilet water in a bucket duct taped so no one could urinate in it. This caused everyone to void their bowels and die causing a flood that killed everyone and it was sad so swimmingly brought them all back to life because magic, fuck you. But during the shit flood were the ponies died one man survived due to his being on a porta potty masturbating to doors. This pon3's name was Granpappy, he was a high functioning autistic and he had the power to produce sgetti like a yeti #youngmoney and he also had a deep fryer named Jehovah who had the magical ability to make mildly amusing quips at Granpappy's expense. "Granpappy? more like gay!" Yelled the deep fryer at passing legless and armless Vietnam veterans named Harold. Though every one was bringed back to life swimmingly had to have a little bit of fun and it made all the ponies come back as gay cereal killers, so when they all appeared underneath the ice cream van they were all fucking and killing each other. Suddenly scootaloo thought she was a people a flew face first into a spike maybe. "Wow, everyone is gay and cereal killery." Chided Granpappy as he flew into a fire to end his torment I guess if he wanted. Meanwhile in the bat cave tim McGrath was madturbating to doors when suddenly a door appeared on door hub that he simply couldn't wank too, he was all like "nooooooo mah peen isn't gon to make milk today" he cried solemnly into a black dudes butt. And then Granpappy happened and he killed Tim with a McGrath and was all like, "Ooh, that's a nice door." But try as he may, he A. couldn't get jiggly with it, B. he couldn't get the bolognese flowing C. It was a black door so he was like "Skrelp" D. the door was akkally Cthulhu and was all like FTAGN. E. Reader is an faggot. Rainbow dash was somewhere else fucking fluttershys face viscously, "ooh renboo stick ur wing up me boom" moaned Fluttershy, renboo finished into fluttershys face and Fluttershy thanked renboo by being a submissive little bitch. Then suddenly a rock fell and everyone died and again and swimmingly was like lol. Swimmingly revived them and then flew a helicopter into a fish and orphan factory everyone died except Renbobo and Fluttershy and they were all like woah. Scootaloo didn't actually die because the spike was actually a large rubber dildo shaped like a crown, so after after she brutally fucked it so hard that the friction caused it to melt "darn that dildo wasn't enough to satisfy my gay cereal killer butt now I have to go kill some dudes", so she went for a walk to the Ponyville Pegasi orphanage where she had some sexy tools for both fucking and killing. Her friends named Kane Eijbergen and Andrew Schofield were all like "hey" she hit them with the underside of a plane and knocked them out cold. Oooooh no an event has happened and suddenly all the stuff isn't relevant. Spike awoke from his reoccurring Morningmare He was all like woah and was shot by terrorists named Greg. Then Granpappy was a ninja and he used his sgetti jets to fly through the  air saving maidens and having glorious and brutal buttsecks and it was great and stuff and then suddenly faggit a great galumphing faggots galumphed galumphingly towards Granpappy  and stole his Ninja powers and he cried a lot. Granpappy then called his butt buddy swimmingly and he stole the great galumphing faggots lunch money and stabbed them in the spine so they'd could never walk again because they are horrible women. Granpappy noticed suddenly that his nose was looking fucked "oh no why is my nose so diseased " he chided. Swimmingly noticed the large amount of honey cascading from its friends diseased nose. "Give me all of your bee syrup now." Scolded Swimmingly "No do not take it from me my wife is pregnant." Cried Granpappy. "Shut up or I will crush you". Scolded swimmingly. Granpappy jumped off a cliff and died and then lived because he's got sgetti. He then ran away like a child and farted on a Vietnam veteran. Drugs. Meanwhile in the justice league. Scootaloo and renboo dash and Fluttershy were having a Mexican standoff but instead of guns they had bog roll. Renboo chided, "oo flutshy stik ur wing oop me boom and die from bog roll you absoloute scum. I wish you were dead so I could make you my wife." Renboo ran like a lightning bolt, (not a wonder bolt because she will never get into the wonder bolts). This caused her to tear  a hole in the space time continuum which destroyed the watchtower and killed aqua man and also Lex Luthor. Out of the tear in the space time continuum came the authors. They stood like gods eith their 1 pack abs and flowing blond hair. They descended from high and said hi. Everyone was in awe, so much awe in fact that they simultaneously voided their bowels causing the second great shit flood of Ponyville. "O shit" said glorious author a "Lol neato pun buddio."  Chided glorious author B as the entirety of the horse town erupted into laughter and died. "Hey we should kill the main characters," said glorious author A. "K" chided glorious author B.