Episode 212: Not So Much Just A Dream
Pony POV Series: "Setting Records Straight"
Dear Princess Celestia,
My name is Crescent Wave. My parents have just told me of how our great-great-great-great-great-you-get-the-idea-grandparents first came to this island we call home.
I want to thank you for saving them. I already knew how you gave our family this island. But only now that I've come of age did my parents tell me the whole story. I forgive them for holding this back, I understand why they did.
I know my fore-parents were both impressed into service by Nightmare Moon's cult. I know they were given no choice but to try and assassinate you, or their loved ones would suffer.
I'm sorry. But I actually laughed when they told me how they knocked on your bedroom door, and meekly explained they had been sent to kill you, knowing they'd been given an impossible task. How they spent the night over tea and cake talking with you, over what they both wanted, and how they wanted to be done with Canterlot's politics, and just wanted to be alone with each other.
You offered them new identities, to keep them safe until the members of the cabal were all identified. But it wasn't what they truly wanted.
You officially declared how you had vaporized them both, giving the cult the satisfaction they had died trying as per their conditions. And how you revealed the truth to their loved ones, and the visits their loved ones would secretly make to their new home.
They told me how you gave them this island, fully stocked and furbished already, with your promise that they would both have died of old age by the time it was discovered. We still have the copies letters you exchanged with them.
Even after the cult was thwarted, they told you by then that they had no reason to signal S.O.S. and weren't in any distress and didn't feel washed up on the rock. They only requested you respect their privacy.
It wasn't until after their funerals that their children made contact with other Land Ponies for the first time. They say you were there to greet them personally. I hope you come to visit us again soon, we're having a special service package this month.
It's because of you that my family exists. It's because of you that I was born. It's because of you that our family has this island to call our home, and I imagine you're the reason we are such a popular tourist spoke.
I'm sure the rest of my family have given you similar thanks, but I wish to give my own.
You faithful subject, Crescent Wave, of Shoo-Bee-Doo Island
P.S. Did Princess Luna really sentence the Nightmare Moon cultist who rewrote her text that she'd return in 10,000 years to writing 'I will not insult the intelligence of Princess Luna's devoted' on a chalk board one million times?
P.P.S. Matilda and Cranky Doodle Donkey wish to thank you for suggesting this tropical resort for their honeymoon.
I smile as I read the letter, putting in my cabinet of holding that held the letters that were of personal meaning to me. Time again for that wonderful thing I was denied in great quantity for so long along with my sister's warm embrace . . . Sleep.
"Welcome to the dream. Please do not touch any paintings or fragile looking objects. Do not look for a fourth door in the dream hallway, and ignore any advice given to you by the penguins," said a mare's voice over the crackle of a PA system.
I saw my pink, non-ethereal mane in my eyes, I looked down at myself, I was a filly. I was sitting at a desk.
I saw Twilight Sparkle, as a blank flank filly, sitting at a desk next to mine, politely paying attention.
I saw Lulu next to me in at her own desk, she was a filly too, pouting.
A slide show began on the screen in front of us.
In grainy silent era style, the text showed.
'How The Sparkle Family Got The Soap Box Curse'
I heard Twilight gasp.
With a click a grainy black and white slide showed Discord with a background resembling how Ponyville looked when he turned my adopted home town into his Capital Of Chaos. Boldly standing between Discord and a manticore sized dragon who bore a resemblance to Spike was a unicorn who looked a lot like my mother but with a tail bow and her cutie mark wasn't quite the same, there were music score lines on it.
Next to the pair was a cart full of books with the words 'Masquerade's Legacy' written on the side which the dragon had been harnessed to.
Then the pictures began to move, their words being displayed with cue cards.
~Discord~
"How wonderful to see you! I think I'll turn the books into a pile of grape flavored slushies. Turn Spike into a giant dragon with the smarts of a wild animal, make you of living jewels, and see if you can run home faster than he can catch you.
~Twilight Sparkle The Nth~
"Wait! I have a wager for you Discord!"
"YOU are telling the Foam Rope Siren Of Chaos to wait? How sweetly suicidal! Maybe if you had to run home on three legs . . . "
"The prize for winning my wager is I'll be your personal songbird of my own free will to the best of my ability for the rest of my days, no threats needed."
"What?"
"Auntie Luna and Auntie Celestia told me! You love music! But with the seaponies gone you can't find anypony who will sing for you without being bullied to, and your brainwashing magic makes it so their singing isn't from the heart! I offer a wager!"
"You think I'm dumb enough to agree to a wager without hearing the terms silly pony?"
"No I don't. The terms are this. No abusing the wording. A game of chess. No cheating, magic, tricks, or gimmicks from you. If I lose, I do as I said, becoming your song bird. If you don't win, then you swear by Reverse-Mother-Entropy you let us takes these book safely back home, and you don't use your magic to twist Spike, or any of his family, period."
"You have got to be joking little pony."
"You know you want a song bird. I'm offering you a chance to have one. Or do you think you'll lose to one of your toys?"
Discord growled and snapped his fingers. A chess board appeared. He grabbed a white piece. "I go first. And, we play by Suicide Rules."
Discord snapped his fingers and a sign labeled 'Grand Prize' appeared around Spike's neck.
The sound of a click again, and the picture slide. Now showing Discord pouting while my apparent ancestor had a triumphant pose, all her pieces gone from the board first.
The picture began moving and the 'movie' was now a 'talkie.'
"LITTLE TWILIGHT! YOU WIN!" Spike's ancestor declared, it looked like he hadn't moved an inch the entire game, he threw off the 'Grand Prize' sign.
"Yes," Discord said icily calm. "You did. And I gave my word."
"Yes you did Discord!" My ancestor said proudly. "A word you can't break! And it's because you didn't think you could lose against 'an inferior' pony without cheating! And I have something you want, which you aren't going to get now, because you DESTROYED what you had before even if you liked it! Because you're thoughtless, selfish, and never think about the consequences of your own actions! You're so used to cheating at everything that you don't know how to put effort into things! And that's why you're going to LOSE Discord! Because Auntie Celestia and Luna and my family and Spike are always trying while you just-"
"Are Twilight and Spike being elitist to you Dissy?" It was Shady, with her glowing pseudo glowing horns and wings. She'd appeared out of nowhere about my ancestor and the older Spike.
"She won a bet mommy and she's rubbing it in my face!" Discord said like a hurt child.
"Taking bets is bad son."
"Sorry mother."
"But so is daring others to take bets and rubbing their nose in it when you win." She turned towards Twilight and Spike. "I know your parents taught you better than that."
Twilight and Spike clenched their teeth.
"Auntie Shady, Discord's promised Spike and I can take Auntie Masquerade's books back home without any trouble."
"IS this true?"
"Yes mommy." Discord batted his eyelashes like a baby rabbit made of sugar.
"Well, promises should kept." She teleported next to Discord, and summoned her scythe made of the same material that her 'wings' and 'horn' were made from. She gently touched Discord's side with a hoof as she stood on her rear legs. I watched as the picture became color, as I saw the color of Discord's magic flow through her and then her scythe sparkle the same color. I saw a glowing symbol of glasses like her cutie mark appear on her shoulder. What?
She appeared behind my ancestor before she could react, and sliced through her with her scythe, except . . . she didn't hurt her at all. My ancestor seemed just as surprised. But . . . an empty box of soap appeared under her hooves.
My ancestor and her Spike looked at each other confused. Shady said nothing to them. Her expression remaining even the whole time. She teleported next to Discord and whisper in his ear. He giggled, she slapped him slightly, he stopped. He stood to his full height and spoke in a parody of an official declarative tone.
"From now on! Whenever you begin to give a high and mighty lecture about what you feel most professionally or personally about, a soap box will appear underneath you!" Discord in a flash was dressed like a hippie and wiggled his fingers/claws. "The curse will randomly activate at a point in the life of all your children, then pass on through to your eldest living daughter's foals, and through her eldest living daughter's foals, and so on forever! Abracadabra! Mumbo jumbo! Enjoy! Adios!" He vanished with a jingle bells melody.
Shady gave a bow. "Say hello to Celly and Lulu for me please." And she vanished.
~Fin!~ The words appeared on the screen white on black, and the curtains closed.
"She and Spike wouldn't talk about what happened that day," I whispered.
"We suppose after all we told her of how Shady was supposed to be, she didn't wish to sully her," Lulu said, her formal and proper tone sounding odd with her filly voice.
"I would have seen it as the opposite Lulu." My foal's voice saying that solemnly was still better than when I heard it while Discord had made me a happy bundle of chaos magic. "It would have shown that Shady was still capable of restraint and reason in spite of how Discord had twisted her."
"I never really thought about it," my faithful student said, as the cute little filly I met that day my life knew true hope again. "Mom said how the soap boxes were just something that's been part of the family forever, and my foals would carry it, but Shining's foals wouldn't. Some of her ancestors went their entire lives without it activating. Uh! Your Majesties!" Twilight bowed to us from her seat. I think our situation would have looked adorable to any outsider.
"I hope you enjoyed my ice breaker gift. I knew showing you that extra history would be make a good peace offering. Discordance walked into that one." An Alicorn mare trotted onto the stage, she had a blond mane, blue eyes, pink fur, and a set of stars as her cutie mark.
"Who are you?" Twilight asked. "Did I read about you?"
"Remember Starlight's trial Twilight Sparkle?" Lulu said.
Twilight's mouth hung open and her eyes went wide. I felt every muscle in my dream body tense.
"Don't look so serious little Celly, I'm just here for a friendly visit. I'm not looking for a fight or trouble." Said the now yellow unicorn with a parrot cutie mark.
"Do not mock my mother's face Havoc!" I said out loud to none less than a force as powerful as either of My Parents.
" . . . I assumed Mimic's appearance as a gift, not a mockery. I thought the image of your mother would be please for you my little Celly." Fear wearing the mask of my mother said then sighed. "I'd rather not take the appearance of something that would leave Twilight insane. I suppose I have much to learn about assuming a 'form you are comfortable with.' Maybe I should have stuck with how I looked meeting Bright Eyes."
The blue unicorn stallion on the stage now with a moon cutie mark bowed politely. I saw Twilight silently startle.
"So is us being foals a gift of good times gone by, or a play at humiliation?" I asked.
"Actually sister," Lulu said, "Twilight was starting to have a nightmare about being in Magic Kindergarden as a mare again, Twilight's dreamscape is acting as the common ground."
"I am?" Twilight asked, being a bit overwhelmed by all this. I don't blame her, she was face to face with the Father of All Draconequi.
"You know, Celestia, considering your brother Mortis, I'd think you'd understand 'Scary Concept Doesn't Equal Evil' a LOT more than you do." Asked Mrs. Golden Tiara who was now the one on stage.
I felt my face flush. " . . . That . . . is not the point. I never considered Luna's night evil, I never considered Mortis evil. And I still don't consider chaos in of itself evil even after your son betrayed his responsibilities."
"This from the mare who considered a foal who didn't feel fear to be a virtue," said a stallion who resembled Rainbow Dash.
"I paid for that mistake already, and so did others."
"I'm not trying to rub salt in the wound. I'm just point out that you've been mistaken about My nature before," said the appearance of Morgan Midsummer Night. "To Error Is Equine, To Forgive Divine."
"Celestia TOLD ME how you were just looking for an excuse to start a war with the Alicorns!" My faithful student defended me, apparently forgetting about the hint given about Sunset.
"No offense Twilight Sparkle, you and I know each other too well for that, but Celly was just a youngster of a goddess when that conflict happened. And considering Discordance's actions at the time . . . I don't blame her. After all, youth is in the nature of the Sun to experience. But I felt that I should prevent nasty rumors and misconceptions about myself and my family from continuing at this point," said the appearance I knew was of Pinkie Pie's father. "Anypony want any rock candy?" He offered.
We all shook our heads. 'Mrs. Cake' ate some herself. The 'Ursa Major' then scratched itself behind the ear. Then a pegasus pony stood up straight. "Well, I think we've beaten around the bush long enough, we best scoot along to the main event."
"Papa?" She was wearing a Wonderbolt's uniform, floating on a cloud, with a larger banner above her reading 'Scootaloo Rocks!' with trumpets playing the background.
"I'm sorry Scootaloo, wrong dream." Lulu's horn glowed and Scootaloo vanished.
Discord's father stepped onto a stack of soap boxes and cleared his throat.
"Ahem, sit comfortably, and feel free to get a sandwich. The fridge to your right is stocked with them."
===
As I said, I think I need to set a few things straight.
First, my wife has no interest in "speeding up" the end of the universe, and the war supposedly speeding up the end had nothing to do with her motives.
And Celly, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there was no evil scheme on my wife's part on her spawning of the Windigos of part of her trade with you, if you'd given them better orders, they'd have obeyed you readily and never harmed a pony. As for why she rubbed it in your face? You should know by now that Concepts loath being blamed for something they didn't do.
And I was never looking for an excuse to start a war with Buddy and your family, that was Junior. And no, I haven't forgiven my bride for obliterating my eldest son, she hasn't apologized either. As the idea of the end, my wife believes in lasting solutions. And that's just it, the ponies had HURT her, the first to ever do so besides her joyous times of childbirth.
Damaging her, the ponies had contradicted a law of physics. And if they could HURT her, could they do worse? Can you imagine a universe without my wife? Your least favorite sitcom would still be at the theater. So yeah, she believes in lasting solutions. And, those little ponies, HURT, MY, FAMILY. Sorry, sorry, personally I wanted to erase their memories of the incident and rewrite the universe so they could never hurt my wife again. But well, my wife doesn't compromise. Yeah, my Avatar went nuts, happy it's toast.
Let me settle something, I am not the concept of Evil, that's Morning Star's CHOSEN department. Yes I let him out temporarily during the war to fight at our side: welcome to the realities of war. Believe it or not we kept him on a leash so he couldn't pursue his own projects and I stuffed him right back in his prison the moment Justitia kicked his flank.
Ironically, all it would take is Morning Star to admit what he did and tried to do (including that whole 'wipe out free will' thing, among OTHER things, I'll leave what an Alicorn did to earn that punishment to your imagination) was wrong, and was IN the wrong, and it would be wrong for him to do so again, to shatter his crystal prison. But Morning Star being Morning Star, is NEVER going to happen.
Our only goal was to erase the ponies of THIS planet or make their harmony trick impossible to pull off a second time.
The Alicorns' only goal was to protect the ponies from us even though it was our sphere authority...so I wish others would shut the buck up already that they don't care about you little ponies my dear Twilight Sparkle. Buddy's wife is the personification of Empathy, it's physically beyond her NOT to care anything with the spark of life in it.
Do I still desire that? I lost, fair and square. Cadence beat my avatar in a straight up fight…and my crazy puppet caused more damage to my family than the ponies ever did... So Buddy and his bride get what they want. What? You're surprised I'll admit I lost? That's one thing my son never understood: Concepts have no room to be sore losers.
I am the -jailer- of souls who'd rather suffer eternal torment then admit they could have been wrong, and Morning Star. Yes, I tempted Starlight, her heart was in conflict, leaning both ways. The duty of the tempter is to test the resolve of the just, it was the JOB I was given for her trial.
Yes, Dissy got his sense of humor from me, the kind which I normally only show to the damned.
Dissy didn't, or rather didn't want to, see the difference: all mortals are toys to him. Only the condemned are MINE. And something you never learned in THIS reality, Twilight Sparkle, is that I allow souls from Buddy to come into me and trying to reach the ponies within me. They succeed and those souls go free, they fail they return to Buddy disappointed.
Yes I've encouraged overwhelmingly Rancor 's violent side, she IS violence, a father encourages his children. I am a father, a tormentor, a trickster, a teacher, a punisher, a husband, a guardian, a watchmen, etc, you expect of the four fundamental rules of this universe to have only one face? Oh, she hasn't been born in this timeline yet? Whoops. I exist in all universes at the same time, forgive me if I get them mixed up at times. You will think nothing of it. Spoilers do nothing but ruin the thrill of life.
Pandora is impulsive, but ultimately nurturing and imagination has done more good for people than bad. Your friend Rarity is proof of that.
Strife is ruthless, but above anything and everything she is FAIR. She's also the one who gives your friends AJ and Rainbow Dash the drive to have those competitions they enjoy so much.
Anarchy is lazy, but ultimately believes in the choices of individuals. He was cheering you on every step of the way in all of your conflicts, Twilight Sparkle.
Rancor is violent, and battle hungry, but she exists for those who NEED TO work outside an established system that is obtrusive to positive outcomes. But you don't need to think about her yet.
As for Destruction...he was childish, destructive, but he was also a necessity. Without Destruction, the universe becomes stagnate, after all. And he was also the destruction of EVIL...And for the record, now me and my children carry on his work and Dissy's.
Dissy has strayed far from his true purpose. His true reason to exist is to disrupt the Status Quo. To introduce chaos to keep things moving, not have things fall apart. For what it's worth, Celestia, I much prefer the Draconequus he became before he buried his heart again to the hedonistic psychopath he ended up being. Eh, kids, what you gonna do?
My mate is beyond cold and heartless, but unlike little Sunny's colored picture of her, my bride RESPECTS that everything ends IN ITS OWN TIME, and she decides when something ends and no one else, for that reason, she has NO respect for murderers or torturers. She is the End of a Test, the End of Suffering, the End of Lies, the End of Pain, the End of School. She is ALSO all of those things.
I felt I should say that about my family. I AM a father after all.
And as long as we're on the subject, I'll say a tiny bit about Buddy's family. Don't get so worked up, Celly and Lulu, I'm not my son, I understand that BOTH sides of creation are just as important as the other.
The judgement and justice Alicorns have made clear that they hold concepts accountable for their actions the same as any other. Ouch.
Buddy's little wifey believes in souls LIVING not just being alive.
And Buddy isn't a smite happy elder deity, and cares more about ponies doing the right thing than worshiping him. Sorry, believe it or not, but I have great respect for Buddy and his work. Did you think one of the Four Greatest Pillars that the smaller Pillars rest on that support creation would be but one emotion?
Fear is what I manifest mostly as. Buddy's wife is Empathy, and the plane of existence that their family resides on when they want to chit chat. Buddy is the afterlife, among others things, it's hard to keep track his list is so liquid. My wife, well, she's heat death, letting the current world go poof so a new one can have its run too, and she's the place where the shadows of those who are erased from reality go when their lights go back to Buddy's wife for another go instead of going to Buddy. But she can also be calm and peaceful, but I think I'm the only one who sees that side of her.
Me? I'm where the BAD ponies who can't enter Buddy go. And also . . . I am the desire to live. I am the survival instinct.
===
"Well, sorry if that was all one sided," said the earth pony stallion tipping his Stetson looking identical to Applejack's."But Ah felt it felt some of that stuff just needed ta be said some ta stem some bad rumors. Ah hope ya'all forgive me for runnin' my mouth."
I don't think I could, or the Princesses, take our eyes off of Discord's father.
"So, do ya have any questions for me, Twilight?"
I blinked. "What?"
Havoc was suddenly one of the Teachers at the school for Gifted Unicorns. I couldn't remember which one in our current situation. The one with the bad eye.
"Come now, Twilight Sparkle, I've helped motivate you for enough tests to know how inquisitive you are. You've got one of the four fundamental forces of Creation right in front of you and you have no questions?"
"Havoc..." Celestia muttered.
"Don't worry, Celestia, I wouldn't tell her anything that'd damage that fragile little mind of hers. I'm not my son."
"Okay...why didn't you do anything to stop Discord?"
Havoc sighed. "Child, you have much to learn about how cosmic forces work if you're ever going to be one."
"What?!"
"Nothing."
It was nothing.
"First, every moment of fear you've ever experienced with Discord? The desire to live out of his clutches? That was me right there. So don't go thinking I'm sitting on my tails. If we cosmic forces merely came down and solved all your problems, you'd do nothing for yourselves, you WOULDN'T DO anything for yourselves, I've seen it happen, it's not pretty, but if we did nothing just to satisfy your ego, you couldn't get help when you need it. So we Concepts prefer to work in invisible mode, behind the veil of reality and all that fun stuff. When you're doing your job right, mortals don't know if you've done anything at all."
I looked to Celestia it was so surreal. "Is that why..."
"I let my little ponies do everything they can on their own? Yes, Twilight...That is why..."
"As for why I myself don't interfere to stop my son?" Havoc asked, sitting down at the teacher's desk. "My son is the fourth most powerful being in creation, for an Avatar of mine to be strong enough to defeat him, it's very manifestation would level the entire Eastern Seaboard of Equestria. So forgive me if I don't want to destroy the world I'm trying to save, kind of defeats the point, doesn't it?"
I shuddered. "Point taken."
"Don't worry though, I'll GLADLY give him the spanking he deserves should he ever return to the spirit world."
I admit, Havoc manifesting a dream copy of Discord and spanking it made me laugh a little.
"Anything else?"
"… Uh, that's all I can think of right now," I say embarrassed, there's so much I can ask, but I can't form a coherient question, there's just too much.
Rarity's father presented me with some tea and cake. "Can you be a dear then and be sure to tell Sweetie Belle she did a nice thing by purifying my little Pandora's little filly? A stallion's gotta care about his grandfoals don't ya know."
Not wanting to upset the all powerful being, I politely took it. "I'll… I'll be sure to."
"Good." The stallion's horn started to glow, stopped, then the night guard looked at Princess Luna. "Little Lulu, would you provide us a most peaceful setting?"
"Tis' Twilight dream," Said the filly version of Luna.
"Oh right!" I thought of the most relaxing image I could think of.
"A library, shouda guessed," Said the image of Rainbow Princess Rarity. "Anypony want rainbow berry cake? Oh, and Celly, Lulu," she said to the two little princesses, "I really am sorry 'bout what happened." The teddy bear version of the Ursa Minor then said, "I hope you can forgive me, just a little someday . . . Oh! And all of your family says Hi, they all love you, and you can speak with them any time if you want!"
"Our family . . . " Princess Celestia whispered.
"Yer family tree ain't as trimmed as ya think. All ya had to do was ask," smiled colt version of Big Mac.
"Thank you Fear," Celestia nuzzled him.
"My pleasure," He hugged back.
I had to admit to Spike in the morning, I've had tea parties with the princesses in my dreams before, but that's the first time I remember dreaming about having a tea party with a member of Discord's family.
I also sent a little message to…
'Mom, I just want you to know. That our soap boxes that appear underneath us when we lecture, are a badge that our family has been always willing to risk ourselves for others. It's something we can be proud of. I'll tell you more if you ask.
--You loving daughter, Twilight Sparkle'
P.S. Maybe fear itself can be feared sure, but it doesn't need to be hated.
~Fin
